Adult Happy Meals

As an adult, is there a benefit to getting a plastic toy while hitting all your micros?

  1. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    No anon, there is no benefits from micro plastics.

  2. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Millenials just don't want to grow up.

  3. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    what's the twist?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Cardiovascular disease

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I guess just that they're nostalgia meals.

      >The food will be served in a specially designed box that should trigger memories of Happy Meals from the old days. Toys include redesigned takes on McDonald’s famous mascots, including Grimace, Hamburglar and Birdie, plus a new one named Cactus Buddy.

      >“We’re taking one of the most nostalgic McDonald’s experiences and literally repackaging it in a new way that’s hyper-relevant for our adult fans,” said Tariq Hassan, McDonald’s USA chief marketing and customer experience office in a release.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >literally repackaging it in a new way that’s hyper-relevant
        imagine keeping a straight face while reading that to a press release

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          people will do a lot of things for a six figure income

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        what about the nostalgic taste? without the sneed oils

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          if they actually went back to beef grease for a nostalgia month or something that would make me actually get some. At this point though mcdonalds isn't good or cheap anymore so I stopped eating there.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            I don't agree with Malcolm Gladwell on much if anything, but his podcast episode on "fuck off with this trying to make mcdonalds healthy bullshit, everyone knows its unhealthy so use beef tallow so it's actually fucking delicious instead of shitty tasting AND still shitty for you" is one I solidly agree with

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yeah, my thought exactly.
              I went to burger king for the first time last year. I exported BURGER king of all places to have good burgers. Instead they were as bland and boring as those you get at mcdonalds.
              they can't even use salt anymore since muh bad.

              The business model for chain restaurants relies entirely on making their offers unopinionated so they are palatable to as many people as possible. I can't really understand why anyone bothers with them. they aren't even all that cheap nor fast either.
              If i wanted fast and cheap I cook eggs.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            I miss the $1 McDoubles. They weren't good but they were a lot of cheap convenient protein. Great for bulking.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >HYPER relevant

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        > hyper-relevant
        Tariq needs to suicide bomb himself

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >hyper-relevant

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >literally repackaging it in a new way that’s hyper-relevant for our adult fans
        just think about how this man makes six figures saying this shit

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          He makes seven figures

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >our market research tells us there is huge money to be made in the optimistic youth nostalgia of hopeless millennials
        JFC that is sad.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        People are nostalgic for McDonald's?

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          when was the last time you were truly happy? it's ~~*devious*~~

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        not buying until they bring back moon man

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      A shot of insulin included with the meal. Also, the Happy Meal costs $600.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Instead of a toy you can choose between xanax, adderall or prozac because they really want to put a emphasis on making this a happy meal

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Disney+ and 1 month OF up to $15

  4. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    mmm goyslop

  5. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I remember when McDonald’s recently had toys for the sonic movie I hit up like 3 McDonalds a day to collect my favorite friends

  6. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Would be funny if the Happy men for Millennial Men had a strap-on in it.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Surely you are allowed to explicitly ask for a specific toy with your happy meal instead of just buying happy meals and throwing them in the garbage.
      My parents never bought me any happy meals so I have never had one.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        When I was a kid, my cousin and I used to get happy meals. He was about 3 years older than I am, and had that "collector" personality, so if he got a toy in his happy meal he already had, he would go up to the counter and ask the staff to change it. Even then (I couldn't have been more than 5 years old) I knew there was something very annoying with what he was doing. Sometimes the staff would see what other toys they had, sometimes they would just tell him he got what he got.
        Strange to think on it now, but it's interesting how early on I realized you could actually be bothering people with your stupid requests.

  7. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Only if being infantilized is a benefit

  8. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get ready for sois/youtubers/reddit to throw shekels like they never have before

  9. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I buy happy meals as they are. Perfect amount for a cheat meal

  10. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'd buy an adult happy meal if it came with a certain smart, small pony. Y-You know, for the lulz of course haha totally ironic.

  11. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I NEED MY HAPPY MEAL
    >GIVE ME MY HAPPY MEAL
    >WHERE THE HECK IS MY TOY? IM SUPPOSED TO GET A TOY WITH MY HAPPY MEAL

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Read in the voice of Howard Stern or George Constanza ... Kek. Thank me later.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        heh heh

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Read in the voice of Howard Stern or George Constanza ... Kek. Thank me later.

  12. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    What kind of man would buy something like that

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      If only there were enough events to motivate him to move like that more frequently.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Americans

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Don't know why but this makes me legitimately sad

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      at least he's happy

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        He's not happy, he's performing happiness. Authentic emotion in video apps is almost completely non-existent, because of the way that the algorithm (which is informed by the kinds of faceblind autists that can spend 8+ hours a day watching that sort of thing) rewards exaggerated facial expressions and gesticulation.
        The monkey is dancing in hopes that the robot will feed it, and the robot is programmed by a 10 year old autistic child who can't recognize facial expressions if they aren't super exaggerated.

        Welcome to man made horrors beyond your comprehension.

  13. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Adult happy meals will just be given to fat kids. Child obesity will grow.

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