Any stories with girls and martial arts?
>girl at party is a purple belt in bjj
>she’s challenging a guy there and he agrees
>everyone is drinking and cheering her on
>she goes fricking ham while he’s playing around and takes his back and rear naked chokes him instantly
>I say you can’t do that to me
>I train bjj but I don’t tell her
>she’s wienery as frick
>take her down hard and pass to side control easily
>exert heavy side pressure crushing her
>arm triangle the shit out of her in under 20 seconds
Somehow I’m the fricking bad guy
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
Should have raped her honestly. I mean if you're already considered the bad guy might as well get your money's worth and actually do bad things
Honeslty what good is BJJ if you don't use it to rape?
These threads are always the same
>smug black belt girl, olympic athlete and 10 years of experience
>anon started last week
>he wins through his superior size and everyone is mad at him
At this point I'm starting to think that you gays don't even practice martial arts, you just hate women and want an easy target to get validation.
Ok I have another one
>training at gym with hot teen Asian girl
>I get in her guard
>she’s trying to fricking kill me but she’s all of 95 lbs
>her gi unravels and she’s wearing only a sports bra
>im holding her stomach with both hand and she’s sweaty and wiggling
>I pause for a second
>first time I have ever had a sexual thought in bjj
>I realize this would be like fricking her
>boner
>I spaz and give up my back and turtle
>she leaps on me and tries to crack it like a crazy women
>I just stay turtled with a raging hard on
>look up at clock
>90 seconds
>hold on for dear life
>round finally ends
>slap hands and bear crawl away with my boner
>sit out next round pretending I hurt my leg
>Ha ha, gotta go. Hey, you know what's funny? Walking like a gorilla.
>Visitng blue belt girl needs partner
>She isn't that pretty. Face looks very nerdy
>We roll
>I'm just taking it super easy, let her get to mount
>Her gi top is open, she only has on a sports bra
>Realize her breasts are absolutely massive...a fact previously concealed by her gi
>She starts trying to work my arms up, dropping those glorious breasts right in my face and grinding them around
>She postures back up some. My face had pulled her sports bra down enough that some of her areloa was showing
>Massive fricking boner. Throbing. There is no way she didn't notice it.
>not pulling meat out and jerking it
you had one chance to show dominance
Holy frick I always thought bjj was gay, but This is hot as frick. Touching a sweaty Asian teen girl’s tummy…Holy frick I so jealous. My coombrain has kicked into overdrive. Holy frick.
I want to start BJJ but this is honestly my biggest fear. I don't wanna get a boner and embarrass myself
Ngl thats why I use a cup
Suppose you end up sparring with a woman, or in a fun party fight like in OP.
What are you supposed to do? Go easy on them and let them win?
Why?
"Can't let people think I am mean to women, better just lie to everyone and help women look tough"
Wtf
Why does it have to be either end of the extreme? Don't spaz like a moron and don't be a dead fish. Sparring is just play fighting, so just play.
Who said "spaz"?
Women are weaker and smaller. You don't have to spaz to completely dominate them.
You don't have to be mean to dominate them either.
>just play
That's the problem. You might just be playing because she's so small and weak, but because you're so much bigger and heavier, she's absolutely NOT playing. In most of these accounts, the women are going all-out, full-strength, and even breaking rules of play-fighting by throwing knuckles, going for face/throat, etc. Even a weak arm throwing knuckles or an elbow into your eye socket or adam's apple is no fricking joke. Even worse, when you're on the ground with an injured windpipe and everyone's high-fiving her and she's laughing at you because "you just got beat by a girl", emasculating you in front of everyone for as long as they'll remember, no one will care that she broke the rules, because she was "punching up" and needed that edge. Yes, you can 100% bet your ass they will double down on both directions - that it was okay she cheated because she needed the edge, and that you are a pathetic wimp because you got beat by a smaller girl.
You have to "play" with your hits/grapples/anything, but you have to take your defense VERY seriously. Above all, you must avoid a clear and decisive victory. Best case scenario: a tie, or a time-out. Second-best is she wins but you made it look like a REALLY close match. Everything else is a social nightmare that no words can ever save.
Sounds like a white belt problem. Keep training and you'll be able to control girls one day 🙂
You would have to make it look like they're being dumb. Moves like crawling to the back from closed guard, getting the back when they hip out from bottom of mount, switching sides when they hip out from bottom of side control. No big moves like getting a crucifix, bow and arrow, truck entry, or bolos. They make you look sweaty and weird. No quick moves like guillotines or straight ankle locks. They make you look like a coward (and you don't get to be in the feelsgoodman position of wrestling with a woman as long). Your bait and switch moves above are good and also moves that make you seem strong like your scarfhold, neon belly, or anything where you're on top when she's in turtle. If you're not that concerned about reputation and looks, you'd maximize your effort by practicing your plan B moves from bottom anywhere.
I theorize as if I actually went to parties haha
"neon belly"
Do you mean "Knee on belly?" Hahaha
knee on belly if you're lame as frick
You havent lurked martial arts threads long enough to correct people
Also, 10th planet stoner detected
What are these words even
Putting a woman in a crucifix would be an absolutely brutal display of dominance
Pancake'ing is a fun time when you're baiting for side control and it's absolutely effortless too. Girls going ham will take the baited light control every time and will give almost perfect side control. It looks like you just kind of just fell on her from an outsider's perspective.
>I theorize as if I actually went to parties haha
Keked
If a wienery girl was tryharding bjj at a party and no one knew I trained, I'd Imanari roll to inside sankaku. Instead of submitting her as quickly as possible, I'd spend at least 8 minutes "failing" leg submissions and playing with her feet. When I'm satisfied, tap out because "I'm tired". Then I'd swear up and down to everyone I never trained before, but "I grew up with a lot of older sisters".
Yes. Either that, make them lose via endurance, or just don't participate.
You don't have to like the double standard, but you have to respect it. Just the way our society is, bruv.
Crush them don't listen to these betas
why the frick would i be at a party
Been there, done that, told them I'm one of those weird guys into self defense and had bully problems in kindergarten (show the scars here), so I may actually hurt her because I never hold back in fighting on principle. If she's still good to go, she can have some popped hip or broken ribs.
Thankfully, girls into martial arts are usually accustomed to injuries, so it's no problems really. I also never make the impression of enjoying brutalizing people (because I don't).
Go easy on them for the first moments, then overpower them with self-control.
ez to navigate out of this. deal with them just like you'd deal with a 5 year old punching and kicking you. putting a strong emphasis of you're way out of their leauge, say;
>I don't spar with women.
and then don't take the upcoming bait by laughing on their face, giving a distinct message without telling it of how they don't understand the risk of dying. If after that they still attack you anyway, you can defend yourself for real as they're the one assaulting you for a spar you didn't accept. ez pz.
It's literally the opportunity for clowning.
Make it look like you aren't trying hard, do dumb shit, and thwart their attempts, all while acting like you were kidding around.
Everyone loves the clown.
>Hate women
95% of 99% of boards
"I hate women so much its unreal" is literally a meme here
>can’t separate humor from reality
Anon…
It's a meme on YouTube too.
I'm not memeing anon
99% of those posts are glowies or bots
the remaining 1% can be divided into a majority of muslims and a minority of incels
you can find the same threads on every board and this is not organic anymore than the screencaps of recent headlines are
this site is memefactory and launching pad
lmao these fat smelly frickers dont even leave their messy rooms let alone to to parties with karate girls.
If they did the last thing any girl would want to do is actually play wrestle them.
I have never seen this happen in any of my BJJ gyms. The girl always wins against anyone who hasn't grappled before.
My wife always win if we decide to wrestle. For some reason she can unleash some crazy strength from just playing around. I believe women can’t do it for fun, they go into some defensive mode. I’m always afraid I would hurt her since I’m 70kg heavier than her but she doesn’t care if her elbow ends up in my eye.
> I’m always afraid I would hurt her since I’m 70kg heavier than her but she doesn’t care if her elbow ends up in my eye.
This is why she wins, if you wanted you could crush her
Frick, that sounds like a really good reason to start training, thanks anon
Talk shit get hit
if you think this is unrealistic you have never rolled with a woman. Even purple belts literally feel like you're manhandling a child.
Yes, I hate women
>At this point I'm starting to think that you gays don't even practice martial arts, you just hate women and want an easy target to get validation.
Bro.
You wanna know the "secret training" the female German bronze in Judo this Olympics had?
Doing Judo against boys.
That's it.
She knew if she could routinely beat the boys, and sometimes (rarely) beat the men, she was absolute world class for female competitions. That's literally it.
Ofc, German boys are a lot stronger than American boys so Ymmv.
Cope.
both can be true. I did freestyle in high school and Judo and BJJ now. I keep that shit to myself as not to have drunk challenge me
Do you even train? I train with a black belt female world champion and have been beating her since a few stripes on my white belt.
Take her out for drinks and frick her like the bad guy, then. You sharked her, so now you need to sperm whale her.
Imagine the smell.
Wrestling and Bjj are gay copes for people who can’t take a fricking punch lmao. Two queers rolling on a floor like dorks
>Wrestling and Bjj are gay copes for people who can’t take a fricking punch lmao. Two queers rolling on a floor like dorks
LMAO is there ever a bigger sign someone doesn't know how to fight?
https://twitter.com/chillemthreebo/status/1568811568997040129
PLEASE tell me about this wouldn't work on you because you'd "just hit him" LMAO
>b-but we would be on concrete
And suddenly a mat return becomes a broken neck
found the bjj meme sport gay
>gets roundhoused in the knee
>collapses like a b***h because nobody taught him how to check a low kick
Nothin personel kid
>roundhouse kicks
>working in real life
Lmao
It wouldn't work on me because I'd just hit him. It's literally as simple as that. You bjj gays are fricking moronic lmao. "Ohhhh oUHuhHuoo what if I grab you huh what if I do a lil grab its all over oHoOuU" what if I fricking kick your stupid legs out from under you and stomp on your chest? What if I let you grapple me so I can knee your ribs in and gouge your fricking eyes out? Get real lmao
chimaev just mauled kevin holland easily first round lol ferguson spent 4 rounds trying to elbow the most easily cut man ever to step into the UFC and he got choked out in missionary without a single speck of blood on diaz' body.
amateur grapplers would embarass you like you wouldnt believe, little kids are all about the slapfighting.
Lmao I would literally just run away from you I wouldn't even give you a chance you would go in your dorky put up your dukes stance and I would just run away no if you grabbed a hold of me I would rag doll you like a child.
>hits him
>he doesn't give a single frick about some IST virgin's pathetic "punch" since he's been hit thousands of times by other dagestani morons and professional fighters
>takes you down and submits you in a matter of seconds
It turns out you need to ACTUALLY know how to fight, not just tell yourself what you think would work (because when you are moronic, it is probably wrong)
>What if I let you grapple me
lmao if you actually deliberately put your opponent in their preferred position because "heheh well i'll just hit him" you are an actual fricking clueless moron and will deserve it when you get beat to death
Deleted Tweet
It's khamzat chimaev fricking dominating kevin holland in a ufc fight where
>just hit him lmao
Is 110% legal but unlike what untrained morons such as
think if you don't have actual takedown defence a superior grappler will make you toss their salad
It's going to be extra painful for your ego when a wimp breaks both your arms using jiu jitsu
I have a good one.
>be me golden gloves boxer
>bjj gay and his butt buddy challenge me to a fight.
>I throw a punch
>they crumple like fricking paper because they’re not trained for actual attacks
Welcome to realtea
I did 2 years of muay thai for this sort of scenario. Well, in my head it's for an MMA context, but the rest of it is basically that.
None of this actually happened lol
I've been on the otherside. Train at mma gym, but only do BJJ. One of the mma guys who trains a lot of kickboxing and I were fricking around before class. We debate who would win in a fight--him because he does striking, or me because I am much better at MMA. We start lightly slap fighting. He fricking throws a hard leg kick that puts me on my ass. I had never felt a leg kick before. It was an eye opening experience. I started training kickboxing as soon as that massive purple bruise healed. BJJ guys really underestimate what a good striker can do.
>fricking around at a party
>MMA guy talking about his "hobby"
>I mention it's not that impressive
>he asks if I want to spar
>ok I guess
>he squares up at about 5 meters
>I draw from my concealed hip holster in Chapman stance
>he freezes, looks confused
>smoothly transition from hip to chest to arms extended
>squeeze off 4 rounds in quick succession
>it does not throw off my transition as I keep a firm grip on the pistol
>4 hits to center mass
>he's down
>everyone is stunned
>cheers, applause
>his girlfriend comes up and kisses me on the mouth
Not so tough now, are you homosexual?
Gungays are insane lmao
They really think you could do this and get away with it
anti-gungays are insane lmao
They really think we think we could do this and get away with it
it's called a joke you prissy european
i don't think europoors think this
t. former europoor
Thats alpha, cheers
>be me
>girl who has a crush on me asked me if I wanted go to her dojo with her
>whynot.jpg
>warmup, no biggie as I am fit
>1 exercise was kicking a ball with a frontkick
>my swole legs manage this easily
>light sparring next
>50kg girl asks me to spar with her
>whynot2.jpeg
>half contact
>try to show off what I only just learned
>do front kick with "regular" force
>kick to far and hit her square in the chest
>girl gets shoved 10m into the center of the dojo
>absolutesilence.flac
>everyone lools at me in pure disbelieve
>feel spaghetti.exe to start up
>utter sorry and head for the locker room
end of story, broke one of her ribs and was banned from the dojo.
girl with a crush on me still wanted to date afterwards.
all in all girls who to fighting sports are cool.
Why would you go "regular" force? When I spar I try to just play tag and tap them. It is hard going that light, especially if I am still trying to strike fast, so inevitably I hit them harder than that, but thats what I aim for.
If it was his first time in a dojo and he didn't grow up with sisters, then I can maybe believe that he didn't mean to frick her up that bad.
The only time I had a sexual thought in Jiu Jitsu was this one time I went up against a white belt crossfit chick who went 100% like she was trying to fricking ravage me. I'm a Medium-Heavyweight and a black belt so I could have just swept her and pinned her anytime, but I was letting her work and she went fricking nuts throwing me around trying to pass my guard and get to mount. It was honestly hotter than I like to admit.
Whoops meant to reply to
Reminds me of this
>Wife tells me to take out the trash
>I'm too tired, I fell asleep like 2 hours ago
>Pull her into bed and start punching her in the ribs
>Feel my fists break something
>Oops
>She has a broken rib cage for the next few months
bitches love to train with a martial chad
Sparred a tkd blackbelt, i did kickboxing but I played by her rules (obv I had a massive weight advantage), she went for a spinning hook kick, I leaned back to dodge and to my utter disbelief she kicked again with the same leg as she stopped the hook kick after it missed and went for a light roundhouse to my face
Effective? Not really outside of point based sparring but to this day is the most unexpected strike I ever received.
the girl in question
Russian and Polish girls doing sambo at my club are based as frick
The only one I have is when some butthole at school kept starting shit with everyone and thought it would be fun to bully one girl, but turns out she knew judo. He got thrown good and didn't bother anymore, funny shit. Guess it works pretty well.
This might count
>out on climbing trip in uni with a group of 10+ people and other unis
>play games and drink after in a big cottage
>one of the girls likes to challenge guys to wrestle
>wrestling game where you have to get the other person's sock off
>challenges me
>she's pretty good technically
>accidentally ragdoll her across the room
>get breathless and just restrain her in an armlock for a couple minutes while I recover
>eventually get the sock
>her friend tries me as well and I get her sock
>end up badly carpet burning my foot from pivoting to body her
Could barely walk for a week bros
Did you get to keep them?
>women blahblah about martial arts
>say I do fencing and archery
>topic immediately changed
>obvious superiority confirmed
Peasants cant even fathom engaging in such activities. Mayhaps you partake in horse riding as well?
Horse riding costs an arm and leg, fencing gear costs less than a skiing outfit and archery maybe a quarter of that.
Falconry, my good sir, falconry.
I was once raped by a female Muay Thai champion that knew a little wrestling
how is it rape?
She put her fingers up my butt
Did you cum?
Got a few
>In judo
>Paired with shortstack
>Newaza drills
>Practicing kesa gatame escapes
>Have to push my head into opponent chest as I spin my body to sit up and push them down
>Push my face into her breasts
>Sometimes I stalled a bit to enjoy it
>She didn't mind
>Motorboat her a bit
>She giggled
>We playfully called it the titty lock
Then in bjj I tried the same technique while rolling with some bjj lesbian and she got me kicked out because she thought I was sexually harassing her kek.
>In another bjj gym
>Rolling with black belt shorty
>She is fast and manages to reverse me and mount me everytime I move her
>She is smug
>Both breathing heavy
>Try to bridge to shrimp away
>She tangles her legs to mine
>Try to shake her off but can't escape
>Her butt is resting on top of my dick
>Smug c**t is smug
>Is that all you got anon
>Got instantly diamond with her ass on top of my dick
>We both feel everything
>Both red as apples
>She rolls into a knee bar and taps me out
>Later after class
>H-hey anon good roll, you are getting better but you need to focus a bit more
>Y-you too....
>Later after class
>H-hey anon good roll, you are getting better but you need to focus a bit more
If she was light and not angry that's where you should have reply "you were distracting too much" as look over her.
Coming back later and bringing up the topic shows she was thinking about it afterwards
Hot
I've seen this exact post multiple times before.
Bot?
I've only ever known one girl who was legitimately into martial arts instead of just doing it for attention and fad chasing like most of them do. She went to regional and national Taekwondo competitions multiple times year. When she lost, she would get moody and b***hy for a few days and work on her shortcomings at the dojo or whatever it's called all weekend.
She never challenged anyone to a fight as far as I know. It's just the meathead tough guys and attention prostitutes who do that.
>be me
>commit felonious assault on woman
>cops don't understand that I'm based and redpilled because men are superior
>go to jail
we live in a society
>be me teenager
>go to karate class
>need to some punching exercise while rotating partners
>supposed to hit eachother on the shoulder
>I am a moron yellow belt
>hit cute redhead straight on her titty
>don’t even dare look at her during rest the class
No idea if i hurt her, or if she even cared. I vividly remember getting super scared when I suddenly felt something soft. At least managed to touch a booby in my life
found on IST
nice work
>a gigantic welsh redhead will never manhandle you then reject you when you get weird on her
I lift with the fury of this loss in my heart
wholesome
I've been talking to some thicc bjj girl I've met on hinge recently. When we finally meet u0p, I am going to look her in the eyes and say "I know you are a trained fighter, but there is no way you can pin me down. I am just too big and strong for it to be a fair fight." That should be enough to convince her to sit on my face.
Oh frick, absolutely please do this. Make sure it’s literally the first thing out of your mouth. And make sure to record it so we can all watch her reaction at how cool and not at all a complete sperg you are.
>Not restraining her and giving her a kiss on the cheek
ngmi
This. Even if I am pretty introvert, after dominating her such bad I would tease her just for fun.
Lololol damn you played that sooooo fricking wrong. Jesus christ you could have fricked her with the bjj bullshit.
>be me
>wrassler
>girl is interested in joining, about 5'5 160 but actually carries it well (I usually wouldn't say this)
>explain to her what weight classes are, she says something like "oh so I wouldn't be wrestling any scrawny little pipsqueaks"
>lul.png
>time for the season
>she goes 1-19 with her only "win" being a forfeit
Turns out lean highschool boys who cut down to 160/162 are pretty strong and girls get routinely fricked at the middleweights.
Co-ed wrestling? How progressive are things going to get before we say it's all too much?
depending where you are, girls dont have enough wrestlers so they get mixed into the men
esp in high school or amateur past high school
This was a couple years ago, pretty sure girls only wrestling is sanctioned here now.
But yeah like the other anon said there isn't really enough girls doing wrestling for it to be its own thing in a lot of places; you'd have so many schools that fill maybe 3 of the weight classes, tournaments would have girls placing by default, dual meets with 2 hours of setup having 2 matches and lasting 10 minutes
ddue there's girls winning state tournaments against boys now, mixed wrestling is the norm in highschool now
https://alaskasportshall.org/inductee/michaela-hutchison-beats-the-boys/#:~:text=Alaska%20Sports%20Hall%20of%20Fame,-Michaela%20Hutchison%20Beats&text=Nearly%202%2C000%20people%20were%20on,high%20school%20championship%20against%20boys.
>that quick slap on the butt
one step closer for the big sniff
girls regularly dominate the lower weight classes
manlets can't catch a break
>Turns out lean highschool boys who cut down to 160/162
Aren't they still ten or more pounds heavier? Of course they're dominate someone below their weight.
I don't understand what you mean anon. Anyone from 152.1-160.0 will compete in the same weight class. I'm just saying for a highschool kid to be lean AND water cut down to 160 they are just too strong for girls the same size to compete because 160 cut and lean highschool girls don't exist, they're all fat. And wrestling weight classed hard punish a bad body composition until you get into the 195/220/285 zone; to a lesser extent 170 and 182.
I mean someone cutting to 160lbs is likely heavier, even up to 170lbs.
I HAVE A CRUSH ON THE ONLY GIRL AT MY BJJ I WANNA ASK HER OUT
Don't. She has had her ass and tiddies grabbed and fondled by all the men who rolled/sparred with her. And she secretly enjoys it.
Tell her that you have a IST pass and she's yours.
OP this is a really good example of why woman shouldn't drink.
At a party couple of years ago "lets see who can do most pull ups someone says".
Oh shit I think.
Suprised af, nobody manages more than 5.
I slam out like 40 without breaking a sweat, friends jaws are literally hanging, one of my mates just say brah...
Then 20mins later wienery "black belt" girl is abit drunk. Starts challenging men to fight.
Challenges me to fight.
Headlocked in 20 seconds.
Let her go, hates me afterwards.
LMFAO very amusing.
Ex College Athlete, MMA, Amateur Boxer and Martial Artist- she knew none of this lmfao.
Headlock?
Are you in 3rd grade? Thats not even a thing unless you want to get choked.
>be me, 16, a decade ago
>training kickboxing on this gym
>class is like 5 dudes, 2 women, one teen asian girl
>my sparring partner is usually one of the guys
>but this day its me and this girl
>she trains it since she was 10 so I get completely outclassed in technique
>but im a boy with hormones through the roof so I'm still stronger
>when it's my time to kick I do it with such strength that she leans a bit
>"lol anon you're going all out im just a girl" and let out a giggle
>she usually wore those very tight black training shorts
>in a scene right out of my favorite dounjinshi I can clearly see her bulging clit on that tight, slightly wet from sweat shorts
>think the girl with muscle fetish from the dumbell manga
>massive boner and sexual thoughts flood my young mind
>just want to ravage her violently on the spot
>after 10 minutes of lascivious torture later, the teacher says training is over for today
>go to the bathroom and blow the biggest load of my life, the fapping session took a minute or less
If I didn't completely hated myself at the time I would have tried something. The gym changed address to somewhere a little too far away so I had to drop the classes.
the only way you would completely hate yourself is if you weren't even attracted to her
you like that about yourself
cherish it, for life can separate men from even these simple pleasures
reminds me of
>be me, 37
>taking german classes at local community college
>also doing daily 5-mile run on school track and daily 40-mile bike rides
>decide that i want to become a stronger swimmer so i can finally do a triathlon
>talk to school's swim coach
>he suggests that i start practicing with the water polo teams
>guys and girls practice together most of the time
>water polo coach advises me to get speedo's since board shorts add 20-30% drag
>practice with them for a couple of months
>they're all of course better than me, but i hold my own and am getting better
>i'm friendly with everyone, everyone's friendly with me
>one day, someone new begins practicing with us: 16-year-old girl from local high school
>she's a little cutie
>during daily scrimmage session, she and i are covering each other
>we're both egg-beater'ing, trying to out-position the other
>suddenly feel her wrap her legs around my waist
>wtf? no one has ever done this in the past months, so is it a move that i just don't know?
>we're both still egg-beater'ing, so our pelvises are grinding against each other through thin speedo material
>feel myself getting hard
>look at her, and she's got this look in her eyes
>whoa!
>eventually, i break free (or she let's loose?) and scrimmage continues like normal
>don't talk to her because practice ends and guys go to their lockers/showers and girls go to theirs
>over remaining 4 weeks of practice, this same thing happens with her about a dozen times
>and every time she does it, she's got that look in her eyes
>no one else notices, and i never talk to anyone else about it
>water polo season ends and i never see her again
any water polo anons here? was she doing a legit water polo move on me, or was it something else?
How moronic are you? Do you need her to yell in your ear, "FRICK ME ANON!"?
Fricks sake, all you had to do was spend tell her you wanted to "practice" with her alone after. You get in water, start kissing, go to showers, pound her.
Pedo
>Oh my god you were turned on by a female who'd finished puberty two years ago and is in her prime reproductive year!
>Don't you understand how sick and inhuman this is!
>you mustn't be American!
KYS loser
>Oh my god you were turned on by a female who'd finished puberty two years ago
I'm bong, where 16 is legal and the only morons who think this are muslims and hindus unironically.
3rd worlders amirite?
You belong in prison.
You belong at the end of a spear
There's no excuse for your predatory tendencies.
>predatory
Protecting. My intentions are pure
>be born bong
>accused of being pedo because england
frick you, i've never touched a girl
Roastie detected.
That's not even how the vegana works, just blatant sexism. A woman's value is not determined by her sexual history
>A woman's value is not determined by her sexual history
i've seen a lot of dicky and one distinct pattern i've noticed is that innocent young girls ALL have innies
it isn't until they start cramming all kinds of dick shaped things in there that it turns inside out
the roast beef prostitute meme is 100% true and anyone who says otherwise is doing damage control (literally)
roast beef is estrogen
not enough estrogen and the lips stay sealed together
more estrogen = more roast beef
shut the frick up moron
>mohamed seethe
your nation has no education
you don't even know hot to float a boat
How come you've seen so much?
>A woman's value is not determined by her sexual history
yes it is. this is why you can't find a boyfriend you fricking idiot.
to be fair, i've never fricked a 16 year old
the law exists only so that they don't have to round up all the teenagers and lock up all the politicians
>NOOOO you can't get aroused by a sexually mature girl who is LITERALLY IN THE PEAK OF HER FERTILITY, that's so sick!!!
>T. Roastie
hahahahahahahahahaha
everyone get a load of this JEALOUS ROASTIE LMFAO
guess what, you old hag?
chads will ALWAYS prefer young girls
now that you're old and worn out, the only "men" you'll be getting are beta cuck LOSERS
deal with it, you stupid old prostitute
no amount of crying about it and calling real men pedos for liking young girls because they're way hotter and infinitely more fertile than you (and not broken with a thousand wiener stare like you) will change this
now frick off and stop destroying society with your prostitutedom and ~~*feminism*~~
have a nice day pedo
I never seen anything this gay in my waterpolo years, being a female is hot tho and she wanted to frick I assure you is not a legit waterpolo move lol
I have one
>started going with cousin to some super backyard mma lessons classes in a padded warehouse with a few other people during the summer
>one day a full squad of cheerleaders is in there using the place as well with us
>constantly see the girls staring at us when we are rolling while they rest, we do the same when we rest
>constantly both their coaches and our teacher get mad at us for staring at each other
>I sweat easily so am constantly sweating due to this place only having a big fan to cool the place so I constantly go drink my bottled waters
>one day while drinking one of the cheerleaders is near my shit as she also put her bag near mine
>'oh let me get my stuff out of your way,'
>oh it's ok, what are you doing today?
>afterwards we make small talk from time to time till one day
>class for them finishes and ours finishes like 5 mins later
>everyone already leaving see girl I've been talking to standing around with a friend of hers
>hey, not leaving?
>yeah soon actually we were kinda hoping you could should us some moves
>my stupid ass thinks so they can protect themselves so agree
>show them what we were learning where you grab their arm, turn your back to them, shove your ass into them and like flip them over you to the floor
>talking to the one girl I always talked to about what she was doing for the weekend when out of nowhere get my ass flipped by the girl trying the move on me
>staring at the ceiling as I hit the floor hard when both of the girls jump on me and start trying to do submissions on me
>main girl is so high on my chest i can barely move and the other girl is like holding my legs
>both are laughing and I'm completely embarrassed that I am like frozen or my body is so heavy
>out of nowhere girl on my chest is staring at me, leans down close to my face and uses her hands to wipe my face of my sweat and smiles at me
>can feel myself immediately getting hard and immediately notice girl near my legs stop moving
cont..
>immediately start bucking girl off my chest in embarrassment so they don't notice my boner
>get girl near my legs away pretty easily as she kinda just let go but girl on my chest is just full on laughing as I try to get a good base to move her
>finally just autism strength her and flip her to now I'm on top of her
>she's still just laughing and staring at me
>keep in mind she's wearing her cheerleading uniform
>immediately get up and rush to my bag to hide my full on hardon
>see them out of the corner of my eye as leg girl walks up to main girl and starts like whispering something to her
>main girl's eyes widen then just full on stares at me without blinking
>she without breaking eyecontact goes to her bag and both of them start leaving
>bye anon
I have no idea if they knew I had a hard on but I was too nervous to see them again so I skipped training for 2 weeks afterwards.
Duuude... This could have been more obvious if it had a sign with neon letters. They were horny as frick. No other occasion where cheerleaders sit on a sweating wrestler. And they pushed you down to feel you flex while struggele.
I am not sure adter that scene you were wetter or they...
anon wtf you could have had an orgy
This dude took a porn script and made a greentext out of it
And still managed to write himself sperging out rather than landing a threesome.
>>I sweat easily so am constantly sweating due to this place only having a big fan to cool the place so I constantly go drink my bottled waters
anglophones will not see anything wrong with this sentence
lactose
you guys seriously have to stop doing this to me
>join a new boxing gym
>as usual, some uppity gay challenges the newbie so he can get some self-esteem back from being a manlet
>sigh and blow his kneecap off with my Beretta 92FS
>everyone starts screaming and begging for their lives
Bros I don't get it, I'm trying to learn some self-defense techniques here but everyone's a fricking pussy and starts crying once I break out my Gun Kata
Laughed hard at this one, well done anon.
I assume its weeb shit, can you explain the gun kata part?
Go watch Equilibrium
the giver was good if you like that kind of shit
underrated
lel
Girls into martial arts are weird 100% of the time. Not always sexual or anything but no normal girls/women seek it out as a hobby.
Rolling with women is boring and is a waste of a round. I’ll train and be nice and that’s about it.
>Somehow I’m the fricking bad guy
Yes. At no point did you attempt to sniff or lick her feet in full view of the party goers as a "goof".
>be me
>super tall (2m) heavyweight (100kg)
>blue belt rolling with a female white belt qt
>take her back
>"omg your arm can go all around my body, I love it"
Mfw trying not to get a boner
She had a raging girl boner as well I bet.
There’s no way to really win here.
>woman tries to fight you
>most likely she can’t do shit
>will go all out in an impotent rage and May be able to hurt you now
>if you shut them down you’re the bad guy
Best thing to do is just bear hug them so they can’t move.
My girlfriend tries to fight me and then cries if I fight back. So I just end it by above.
>no ground and pound
Weak display of dominance
I train with a multiple time female blackbelt world champion. She could beat me when I first started, but by the time I had 2 stripes on my white belt (about 8 months), we mostly just stalemated. Now as a bluebelt I roll with her at 20% as though she is a helpless child and still submit her 3x a round.
To put that into more perspective, I have never submitted a male black belt a single time, not even our 150lb one.
Considering how weak they sound, I'm convinced all female ufc'ers are all just giga coomers who want to be manhandled.
Subtlety isn't our greatest strength, but chicks could be soaking wet and keep a poker face
Had 2 lesbians with their entire ground game being smothering me with their tiddies. Poppin a boner with a cup isn't fun when you got a big boy pp
Not a real story but last night I dreamt that there was a cute brown belt at my dojo and she playfully bullied me a lot, I wish it was real.
Not really martial arts but when I was in highschool there was a girl who would always try and play fight me rough
>we would slap box
>all the other guys would go easy on her
>when she’d fight me I’d slap the frick out of her
>block her hits so rough she breaks her acrylic nails
>face has a massive red mark
>white Knights her upset
>I laugh at them
>girl tells them to shut up and that she likes fighting me because I don’t go easy on her
>every time I hit her she just charges me harder
>slap her shit up and she flashes me a pretty smile
Still friends with her 10years later. She is my only female friend. She had the biggest crush on me in highschool but I never went for her since I had a gf. Still with the same girl. Slapgirl remains an amazing friend and I’m glad we can be good platonic friends.
There it fricking is. Proof that women will always go for the butthole that never pays attention to her over a nice guy like me. Same classic fricking story every time.
what you talking about butthole, he's the nice guy in this scenario
>when she’d fight me I’d slap the frick out of her
>block her hits so rough she breaks her acrylic nails
>face has a massive red mark
CAN U READ moron NICE GUYS FINISH LAST
she wanted that, he didn't treat her like a thing about to break and she craved that
here's the truth
>girls asks for a fight
>anon; slap* punch* kick* 'haha many funs, only jokes and play, much games, top frens'
>you; 'no, no i can't do that you're too weak and frail and i want to be nice to you by not beating you with my genetic superiority which i will use to protect you from men who beat you once we are married'
do you understand?
But you're not actually nice, it's just an act to try and convince the girl to sleep with you (they wont)
butthole? She asked me not to hold back so I didn’t.
Damn bro just because she rejected you , doesn’t mean you can make up stories
You have to be 18 to post here
> Be me
> Tagged to fight woman in belt test
> Kenpo karate
> She's close to a black belt but not there yet
We're friends but she has fought other men before for tests and they all fight very defensively. She told me she feels slighted by this.
> Ok then
> You're going nowhere
> I got you for three minutes
> That's three minutes of pain
> I don't just know karate
> Amateur boxer
> Dabbled in muay Thai
> Used to train MMA
> She just knows karate
> She kicks me once
> I kick her once, knock her down
> She tries to kick me again
> Block with shin
> She stops trying to kick
> Let my hands go
> Just walking her down at this point
> Crowd is gasping at everything
> nth degree black belts there to watch as guests look intimidated
> Fight is over
> She hugs me and thanks me for taking her seriously
I fought her son several months after. She tried to prepare him for me but I kicked him once in the body and he got too scared and stopped protecting his face.
what martial art should i do with no experience?
kickboxing
I know a b***h that did karate and almost killed some drunk homosexual. She kicked him full force in the head and he fractured his skull on the pavement. Also got 0 charges because girl
Umm strikingsisters... he was 7 inches taller and 40 pounds heavier and he just hit him when he was doing all that homosexual wrestling shit... why didn't he win? It was his turn..
>win by decision
so no one beat anyone
>y-yeah he won b-but
COPE
where do they keep all the shoes haha asking for a friend hehe
>Juri Han will never kick me in the head
I'm a white belt but it feels like i never progress. Nobody goes into detail on the basics we just train different throws and all that then do randori. I still don't 100% know what to do when i get someone on the mat, i know like 1 hold and even then i'm not exactly sure if i got put to do it.
Look stuff up on your own and try it out. Tons of guides on how to do things online. Just be careful the first times till you understand what you're doing. Don't expect to get everything from trainers. Their time is limited.
I accidently farted on two girls sperately and was too embarrassed to appologise. Since women talk about everything, I'm 99.99% sure I'm known as the "farter guy" or "gas man" or some shit.
>any stories?
Yes, I lost my virginity in hs to a girl I took Taekwondo with. We dated for quite a while, we had lots of sex and sparring matches. We both eventually got our black belts. Very fond memories. Would recommend!
t. oldgay
>a judo friend, international championships and shit
>very annoying tomboy, about 65kg
>I dont know any martials
>get into argument
>"woman can't match a man's strenght"
>"oh yes we can"
>"no you can't"
>"yes I can"
>"no"
>"yes"
>"no yo -ACK"
>it all happens under 2-3 seconds
>she grabs my right arm, twists it behind me
>somethings pushing my knees
>somethings pulling me back
>forearm hurts like its about to break
>knees are bending, quads and calves hurting
>a strong urge to let go and drop back on my ass
>waitaminute
>frick_no.jpg
>fully engage lower body and lock it in a half rep squat position
>use full force to get my arm free
>instinctively do a motion that can be described close to being a forehand frisbee throw
>put hips, abs, shoulders and chest into it
>manage to free my arm
>appearantly she was still attached to the said arm
>she looses contact with ground for a fraction of a second
>she releases grip, lands, staggers a few steps backwards
>"huh, you actually were strong"
I still don't think a man who isn't a manlet and/or isnt below 80kg can ever be downed by a girl.
The only way to win against a girl in a fight is by overpowering her so much that you don't have to hurt her to win.
>grappler chick goes for a double leg
>sprawl
>lift her up having her ass right to my face
Fun times
My gym has a couple pretty good chicks who do bjj and mma
>Somehow I’m the fricking bad guy
For normies of course
For /fit you're just a genius that make us laugh
For the majority you're stupid tho
>Be me
>15
>In taekwondo class
>Teacher pairs me with a cute tomboy
>We practice kicks
>At one point she kicks me in the face with her sole
>Best day of my life
I'm sure the stories in this thread are fake as frick, but with ground fighting/wrestling it really just comes down to weight differences. if you are sparring with someone of a comparable weight, then the more skilled fighter will obviously win. but it will always be more difficult for a person who is higher skilled and weighs substantially less.
it takes hours of practice to condition these techniques, and you will only gradually increase the amount of weight you can handle in an opponent. for example, training a certain technique for x hours will allow you to handle an opponent that is 10lbs heavier.
so saying you can take down a girl who is highly trained doesnt really matter if you are like 50+lbs heavier than her
Not really an interesting one but I watched one girl break another girls nose while they were rolling. I usually got fricked up by girls when I first started though. Especially purple or brown belts. Never rolled with a female black belt.
I sniffed a girl's foot secretly when we were training
Devilish
I got one
>be me, 13 y/o 10 years ago
>just started mma
>few girls in the class
>doing grappling drills
>paired with cute girl
>no idea what im doing so she easily mounts me
>pins my arms down and says "youre cute"
>i get very visibly flustered
>gym ends up changing locations and never end up seeing her again
>I’ve been a sperg for 10 years
>you can tell I still am because I remember and tell this story all the time
You forgot to attach the gigachad image
>be me
>grow up in rural corn fed school
>wrestle from the time I'm in kindergarten until I graduate
>transfer to slightly more inner city school just across county lines
>schools play each other in sports
>old country school wrestling coach is big shot multiple time state high school champion and adult greco-roman national champion
>dudes ripped
>his four sons dominate rural school's sports
>ffw to wrestling regionals junior year
>new city school vs old rural school
>coach's son is up to wrestle
>our only female wrestler on the team is up against him
>female weightclasses were too small for their own tournament so were counted into the male
>she's alright at wrestling but not super good by any means
>I'd beat her in practice
>coach's son is barely holding his position but still on track to go to state this year
>he's already starting to get a chub before the match even started
>oh no.jpeg
>she immedietely shoots and gets him on the double leg
>slams him down on his back
>he tries to get up to his hips but she circles around and gets him into a head and arm
>he's fully erect everyone can see it
>he's not even wrestle properly because of how obviously he's flustered
>he's trying to bridge but it's no good
>pin
>it's been maybe 15 seconds
>he gets up ashamed, crying, red in the face
>a girl gave him a boner, ruined his shot at state that year, and then laughed and skipped across the mat to shake his dad's hand (the coach) and say good game
literally everyone bullied the shit out of him for it for years to come. never lose to a girl, he still gets bullied for it today and it's been almost a literal decade.
>, he still gets bullied for it today and it's been almost a literal decade.
Fricking small towns man
I haven't seen anybody from highschool in decades
I saw him at a middle school wrestling tournament last year. gf and I were doing weigh in's and admissions for some extra pocket change. $150 a day each. Him and his dad were referee's. All my gf and I could do was laugh our ass off about it. He never made eye contact with me when we went up and talked to him and his dad. His dad bullshitted with me for a while. Told him how my dad and brother's were doing. But his son never said a thing or looked either of us in the eye. He knew we knew and he was probably praying we didn't bring it up. I didn't serve in the army with him, I think he went reserve, but I was in the same national guard company with a lot of other guys that we all went to school with. They apparently to this day bring it up and tease him about it when they hang out and drink. I'm happy as frick I'm moved away, nobody knows me at all where I live and that's how I like it.
Americans are mentally ill
>doing closed guard break drills with qt girl
>me on top
>get a couple of reps in
>awkward eye contact
>she giggles
>start getting a boner
>stall for a couple of seconds
>coach calls for a break and I thank jesus
don't do nogi bros...
Rule #1, women are like small dogs. They are to be coddled, encouraged, and treated like they are big dogs.
Rule #2, Never engage seriously in a physical activity with a woman. There is no way to win. (You win, everyone expected that, you're the bad guy. You lose, everyone thinks you're a b***h who got beat by a girl).
> At boxing gym
> Owner freely admits he makes all his money teaching cardio to 30-something women so he can coach more seriously since that's his passion
> Sparring every Wednesday and Thursday evening (full contact on Fridays and Saturdays)
> Mixed group, mostly guys
> One chick has probably the fastest hands in the gym
> Could have easily flattened her because she was maybe 110 or 120
> But this isn't one of those stories
> She was aware that she was not invincible
> And this was sparring, not full contact
> Learned some useful speed technique sparring with her
Cool and wholesome story.
I went to a dojo with a former captain of the us olympic judo team. I could not for the life of me ever do anything to her. It was pretty neat and I learned a lot of great techniques.
>Owner freely admits he makes all his money teaching cardio to 30-something women
>at party
>some girl is "the real deal", purple belt in BJJ according to her
>she's as wienery as you can expect
>has that attitude of humiliating people and intimidation game as soon as she gets confronted
>have a disagreement with her about some bullshit
>I've observed her fighting in the past, she does that homosexual hold every BJJ moron always does to bring the fight to the ground
>elbow her in the right eye before she can get close to me
>throw her on her shitty Ikea coffee table
>breaks it in half
>everyone applause
Good job, anon. You beat her at her own game. Trannies win over women in the oppression olympics every single time.
this, the feminist fears the troony
feminists and 10yo girls in public restrooms
>10yo girls
best age