Approaching 30 and been smoking every day for 15 years, day in day out, 20-40 bucks a day.

Approaching 30 and been smoking every day for 15 years, day in day out, 20-40 bucks a day. It's hell inside of my mind, I'm losing myself and completely lost touch with my soul. I barley have enough serotonin to type this message..

Fucked up part is that I just plain and simple fucking can't quit. Some people just cant. Whether it's not enough willpower or my brain is wired weird, idk, I wanna give up but at the same time I'm approaching seizure or skitzo territory, when I say I'm about to lose my mind I littterwly mean it, I feel like I will lose my sanity from never being sober for a decade and ahalf at least a couple times a day..

I go to the gym every day
I'm an engineer
I quit cigs after 10 years and coke after 4 month stint one time
I've done no fap up more than 2 months multiple times

I've conquered so many mountains but this shit stops the fucking show, I hate it so fucking much!!!

Everything I wrok3d for, doesn't Mena shit cuz I don't have brain chemicals to enjoy anything. Just got a new puppy recently and it didn't do a dent in my depression..

  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You seem to have posted this to the image board IST instead of your personal blog by accident

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    That ain't shit I used to have an 8ball a day coke habit.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Coke with affect ur life directly and its obviouse its bad , weed is evil and will cull u into slave labor and mediocrity and trap u in there while society tells u that it's good for u

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What song is this?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The swan song my two remaining brain cells r sining..

      You seem to have posted this to the image board IST instead of your personal blog by accident

      My apologies

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    go see a doctor and stop smoking retard

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >20-40 bucks a day.
    How the fuck does that work? I just got an ounce for 120 (prices massively deflated when growing legalized) which puts me at less than a buck a day.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Low levels of dopamine, serotonin and receptors to theses neurotransmitters. Antidepressants might help you get enough strength to at least reduce the cannabis use.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I only smoke at night and after I'm done for the day, works well for me. You should try that.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Me too

      It's weird, I've been smoking every day for over a year now but all it takes is a single hit to get me high and sleepy and that's good enough for me, it's like I haven't built up a tolerance at all.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        For me, the biggest difference between when I started smoking and now is that the peak will last less, however its intensity has remained consistent.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Slowly taper down
      I mean youre completely dependent on weed but functional you probably dont have to give it up completely just slow down on how much youre toking. Lot of people smoke daily for decades and live relatively normal lives. You need therapy too

      This. Re-wire your brain to treat it as a reward for accomplishing things. I only smoke after my work is done, my workout is done, and I've read a book for at least 30 minutes. Went from smoking 1-2g/day to 1-2 bowls in my vape. My lungs feel amazing, my mind is clear, and the sleep is better. OP You should try it

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Slowly taper down
    I mean youre completely dependent on weed but functional you probably dont have to give it up completely just slow down on how much youre toking. Lot of people smoke daily for decades and live relatively normal lives. You need therapy too

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this. start writing down how much you smoke each day and try to cut back slowly. Once you feel like don't need it as much, just quit

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    go to rehab
    just lie and say youre an alcoholic
    its the only thing that worked for me

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      U literally did that??

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        why would i type that if i didnt do it you stupid 12 year old gay?

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >an engineer
    >been smoking for 15 years

    lmao holy fuck you would have cured cancer if you could have just done 3x10 of bong put downs

    jesus weeps are you're wasted potential

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I would have been a millionaire and so much other stuff, u don't even understand. I still have potential(but no brain chemicals left to enjoy any success) which is why I need to quit. I also used to make music and got 1000 soudcloud and 3k insta followers in my first year but I stopped cuz the thc demotivated me.. I also worked out for a bit when I was 18 and if I didn't quit I'd be a beast. So much fucking stuff... It's stolen so much from me but at the same time maybe I would have gotten addicted to something else if it wasn't for weed cuz addiction isn't black n white..

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >woulda shoulda
        Dude you probably nuked your test with constant weed smoking just start roiding and youll have that energy of your youth back again. 30 isnt too late to get shit done

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Ikr, I'm afraid to get my levels checked. Still making gains so..

          [...]
          This. Re-wire your brain to treat it as a reward for accomplishing things. I only smoke after my work is done, my workout is done, and I've read a book for at least 30 minutes. Went from smoking 1-2g/day to 1-2 bowls in my vape. My lungs feel amazing, my mind is clear, and the sleep is better. OP You should try it

          Tried to do that many times, it used to be a reward after hard work but morphed into this nightmare

          for the love of god use a dry herb vape with your cannabis, smoking is for straight retards. what are you, a caveman OP? it's not fucking 1995 anymore, dry herb vapes or gtfo

          I do edibles, not fucking up my lungs anymore..

          I think if you smoke then you must do cardio to counter balance it.

          Why lol?

          >Just got a new puppy recently and it didn't do a dent in my depression..
          Thanks for the quitting inspo, I dont want to get to the point where having my cat sleeping on my lap doesnt make me happy

          U have no idea..

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you sound exactly like me man
        seriously go to rehab
        afterward go to meetings
        making your top priorities in life Eating, Sleeping, and Exercise
        learn coping skills like CBT and DBT

        going to rehab was the best decision of my life
        i totally changed as a person
        6 months into sobriety i had a completely new personality
        my mental health also improved drastically
        i went from self harming waiting to die alone in my room
        to returning to uni, smashing chicks, leading my own meditation and study groups, making music again, getting in the best shape of my life, learning to have a clean balanced lifestyle, and finally making enough $$$ to step up my quality of life

        Sleep is probably the most important thing that fucked with my sobriety though. Weed seriously fucks with the biochemical system that regulates sleep, apetite, damages your gut flora, hormonal systems, etc

        Weed is very much physically addictive. Just because it doesn’t result in lethal withdrawals like alcohol doesn’t mean it’s not addictive.
        Dopamine is directly responsible for many functions in the body, including muscle contractions. Weed withdrawals literally result in sweating, disturbed sleep, completely destroyed appetite, crippling body fatigue, and huge loss in ability to physically exert yourself.
        Where this meme came from that weed isn’t physically addictive is beyond me.

        Dont sit here arguing with people over what's "addicting" or not. They don't give a fuck about you. They just want to feel smart being right over words and know nothing at all about drug addiction, withdrawals, psychological impact, an the further biochemistry of substance abuse.

        These are literally chinks and teenagers just repeating what they read online, and have no experience with what theyre talking about. Stop listening to them and get the help you need. They want you to stay in your cycle of quitting and relapsing to keep you a failure in life so they can feel right about something on the internet.

        Also, shrooms/lsd can be a powerful catalyst to kick off the proccess. It was an LSD trip that inspired me to go to rehab and stay sober long term. It took a shroom trip to help reconnect to my body and have an active lifestyle again. I'm in my 30s and healthier than i was in my 20s now.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    HEY GUYS DID I MENTION IM AN ENGINEER? JUST FYI IM AN ENGINEER, I SMOKE WEED AND IM AN ENGINEER

    IM AN ENGINEER BTW. DID I MENTION THAT?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Manual laborer detected

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can quit youre just mentally weak

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    see a psychiatrist about this and ask if he can prescribe you mirtazapine. the issue is that your brain can't produce the happy chemicals it needs without weed. an antidepressant will help you get through it, but SSRIs are fucked because they cause sexual dysfunction. mirtazapine is ideal because it won't have this problem and will also help you sleep, which will be a problem associated with marijuana withdrawal. hope this helps

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >live in weed capital of world
    >have been miserable loser for my entire life
    >weed is supposed to help with depression anxiety etc
    >have only touched it a few times in my life

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    bro I was just like you, I'm 32 smoked myself stupid for more than a decade, pretty much high every day with the occasional t-break. the past year I was in a constant haze, was spending $50 every other day going through the strongest carts like there's no tomorrow, felt exactly like you, like it's just a matter of time until I literally go schizo for real. every time I told myself it's the last one, I convinced myself to buy another cart, just one last time... I did it for months.
    until one day I just didn't. I told the voices in my head to shut the fuck up. it was hard but at the same time, it's stupidly easy. you're just addicted bro, you're not wired differently. weed got a grip on you, a strong one. but it's possible to quit with will power alone. you can do it bro. physically slap and bully yourself every time the voice in your head tries to convince you to get weed. trust me life is beautiful without it, the clarity you get back is worth quitting for. your life will get A LOT better trust me.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Also 32 and have been off for a month now after a decade of the herbal garden gnome. I don't feel like I'm in the clear yet, but slowing doing better. Slightly less anxious/stressed out at least.

      I think it's these cartridges that really made me take a turn for the worst. They complete fuck your tolerance so quickly that you just feel numb when you smoke. After a while it's not even slightly enjoyable anymore, but you can't seem to stop. I've taken T breaks in the past with no issues, but this time I have had diarrhea nearly everyday since I quit and my stomach is constantly fucked despite eating healthy, plenty of fiber, water, and exercise. That never used to be an issue with green.

      If you can just make it 2-3 days clean, you will be able to break free. I took a 3 day trip with some friends and just got hammered with them to keep away from it. Did the trick to get me past that initial hump. Gl man.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I can't get hammered for the second day in a. Row, it will help the first one but the second after I drink I don't wanna touch alcohol.. also I have no freinds left

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do what I do currently, go on a solo Roadtrip(or bicycle) just you, no weed, a camping cooker and thousands of miles in front of you, it’s summer in the important world so just interact with others enjoying nature out. My first 6 days were sleepless zero appetite night sweaty days, I still think about smoking one when I arrive back home but it’s important to have a sober mind from time to time

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Used to smoke daily for 5 years, but a few years ago, for some reason the effects changed for me. I just get really stressed out and depressed after smoking so I stopped.

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Fake. Everyone knows weed is not addictive.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not physical addictive, but still addictive.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Weed is very much physically addictive. Just because it doesn’t result in lethal withdrawals like alcohol doesn’t mean it’s not addictive.
        Dopamine is directly responsible for many functions in the body, including muscle contractions. Weed withdrawals literally result in sweating, disturbed sleep, completely destroyed appetite, crippling body fatigue, and huge loss in ability to physically exert yourself.
        Where this meme came from that weed isn’t physically addictive is beyond me.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          OP here, I don't get any of those symptoms, one time when I had to travel and fall asleep without it I had. The deepest dream of my life. I literally don't know why I replace if I feel so good the few hours sober I sometimes get

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Half of those are psychological, no appetite, disturbed sleep and no energy to do anything don't sound physical to me. Also what people most of the time mean when talking about physical addiciton is shit like heroin where a year long junkie stopping unprepared can literally die from it.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            no appetite and disturbed sleep are not physical symptoms to you?
            ???

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            > no appetite, disturbed sleep and no energy to do anything don't sound physical to me
            youre a fucking retard if you think there is no biological root to this and just want to argue over words to sound smart like a dumb gay

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can do whatever you want. How about start by being honest with yourself instead of being a wimpy bitch?
    You can quit. You choose not to. You don’t actually want to quit. If you actually wanted to, you would’ve quit.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      18+ to post here

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    for the love of god use a dry herb vape with your cannabis, smoking is for straight retards. what are you, a caveman OP? it's not fucking 1995 anymore, dry herb vapes or gtfo

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine being to much of a fucking gay to smoke

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        thoughts on edibles?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Been smoking daily for 15 years, and to be honest with you I can smoke like 5gs with a dry vape without pause and barely get high, but a 2g spliff will get me high as fuck. This is horrible since I would love not to smoke, I don’t smoke cigarettes and dislike the hit my cardio takes.
      But the vape just is not enough if you are used to joints.

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I think if you smoke then you must do cardio to counter balance it.

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Just got a new puppy recently and it didn't do a dent in my depression..
    Thanks for the quitting inspo, I dont want to get to the point where having my cat sleeping on my lap doesnt make me happy

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I smoked for 8 years and felt i was losing my mind which for me was a reason to never touch it (after 100 tries before). I say this not to blog vut so you know people do it and what it looks like. 4 months sober was not the easiest path, sleep fucked up had a couple days of random crying (never had it in my life). Doing 75 hard now it makes me feel proud so that helps. I feel like things are getting better already. Just don it. You should not accept that you fuck over your life.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fuck man I want to join u but my grandpa just got diagnosed with lung cancer so I gotta deal with that mentally..

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's awful bro.

        At the end you have to do what's best for you. I had my grandmother dying after the first month. I didn't give in. It helped me through other moments. If I didn't smoke then I can handle any situation.

        Maybe there is a chance here for you too. Stay more with your family (if possible) and be sober deal with this, and accept life is going to get worse before it gets better. And be grateful for every day, and ignore the voice in your head before you know it you'll be months in.

        It's all about perspective. The idea that you can't handle it without is your addiction speaking. There is always something going on. Goodluck.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He can survive chemo.. I sometimes feel like the universe will throw a curveball if I ever go sober and I'll also have a grandparent die. U r totally right though, I almost feel like I should stop giving a shit until my mind recovers from weed and whatever happens happens all that matters is I get sober and ha r a good family as my grandpa would want..

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Let's hope so. When you see these real problems around you it puts things in perspective. Life will always throw curveballs you have to take it on the chest and manage you'll be fine. You need any substance to help you. What helped me when I got stuck was journaling a little bit. See what exactly makes me feel bad. I had some guilt towards myself for wasting time too. But what can you do about it? Going through this might also make you focused and aware of some pitfalls of your behavior, weed, alcohol, and all these things. That might prevent you from fucking up later in life. That's how I cope. Rather learn before I started.

            What I said +

            you sound exactly like me man
            seriously go to rehab
            afterward go to meetings
            making your top priorities in life Eating, Sleeping, and Exercise
            learn coping skills like CBT and DBT

            going to rehab was the best decision of my life
            i totally changed as a person
            6 months into sobriety i had a completely new personality
            my mental health also improved drastically
            i went from self harming waiting to die alone in my room
            to returning to uni, smashing chicks, leading my own meditation and study groups, making music again, getting in the best shape of my life, learning to have a clean balanced lifestyle, and finally making enough $$$ to step up my quality of life

            Sleep is probably the most important thing that fucked with my sobriety though. Weed seriously fucks with the biochemical system that regulates sleep, apetite, damages your gut flora, hormonal systems, etc

            [...]
            Dont sit here arguing with people over what's "addicting" or not. They don't give a fuck about you. They just want to feel smart being right over words and know nothing at all about drug addiction, withdrawals, psychological impact, an the further biochemistry of substance abuse.

            These are literally chinks and teenagers just repeating what they read online, and have no experience with what theyre talking about. Stop listening to them and get the help you need. They want you to stay in your cycle of quitting and relapsing to keep you a failure in life so they can feel right about something on the internet.

            Also, shrooms/lsd can be a powerful catalyst to kick off the proccess. It was an LSD trip that inspired me to go to rehab and stay sober long term. It took a shroom trip to help reconnect to my body and have an active lifestyle again. I'm in my 30s and healthier than i was in my 20s now.

            what he said.
            Probably if I went to rehab I would have cut a lot of time off.

            Lay it down, get around people, go out more (around people that don't smoke ofc), be okay with feeling awful sometimes and try to do the things you used to love. Meet some girls if single, you'll have a lot of spare time. Just be a normal person again. And from there after a while, you can start moving back to your big dreams. You will manage 100%, you are strong enough.
            Not trying to lecture you just sharing as much of what worked after 1000 times of it all not working in hopes you take away some things from it.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Thank you

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It sound like you have depression, treat that before blaming weed for your problems

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Dudes, educate yourselves
    Your body has a natural cannabinoid system
    Here’s a quote you can google
    > The ECS regulates and controls many of our most critical bodily functions such as learning and memory, emotional processing, sleep, temperature control, pain control, inflammatory and immune responses, and eating.

    It’s true, if you go big on THC you will upset your body’s natural balance of this system
    So if you’re a hardcore user and cold turkey you can get hit with one, many or even all of those regulatory systems and it’s completely fucked
    You will feel like a bag of moldy shit

    The easier way is to step down IF YOU CAN
    If your willpower isn’t there you really need outside help
    This shit wasn’t made to be constantly used in excess, like anything
    It will fuck with your head and if you have any underlying brain chemistry issues it can sometimes effect them as well

    Biggest issue I think that will effect everyone even with moderate use is lack of REM sleep
    Do that for years and you’ll make yourself insane
    Your brain needs to dream otherwise you’re in some shit

    Anyone using these days should either be microdosing it or only getting stoned once a few times a year
    I’m serious

    Read up, realize why you’re hurtin

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >smoke for 10 years
      >have dreams

      yeah this "it cancels out your rem sleep!!!111" is bullshit

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Quit, and your dreams will come back in force
        You’re only getting a small percentage now
        I should be more clear since everyone is pedant here
        Also each person will have slightly different effects on the system
        So perhaps your stomach is getting fucked with more than you think for example

        Just read up on it
        They’ve done modern studies
        Laters

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    LOL weed is baby shit, you want true suffering?

    Get hooked on painkillers and suffer through withdrawal like I did before you whine about how hard it is to quit.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      People like you don’t help
      It’s why I avoided AA type places there’s always some whiner who had it worse
      We’re not talking about pills

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hahahaha Iv been smoking weed everyday since I was 17. Just had a volcano bag last night. I fuck like a king and i make 87,000 annually. I’m not even 30 yet

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