>be me last night

>be me last night
>5 days off weed after a decade of abuse, got tired of going through life like a zombie, better to just take me pain
>at freinds b day party
>no dopamine or serotonin to work with
>have 0 compassion for others cuz I am in the middle of battling a lifelong addiction and am dealing with a floodgates or memory's, some overwhelming feeling of missing dead loved ones and other existential shit I've been numbing out for my entire youth and I'm taking on my karmic debt raw dog
>fat goblina starts flirting with me
>still make conversation cuz I trwt everyone equally
>over the night she starts pounding drinks and getting handys
>bi-polar cuz coming down of a decade of abuse and my good mood eventually sours into an intense feeling of disappointment and dread
>she eventually makes a move and offers me a bj in the bathroom
>if she asked 5 minuets ealier or later I would just tell her I have a gf or maybe even accepted it
>but no, she picked the wrong time
>tell her callously
>"sorry I'm not into bigger girls or latinas"
>she absolutely loses her marbles, starts calling me names
>runs off crying
> everyone looking at me angry
>she starts crying really bad and leave with her freind
>everyone still mad at me
> I go home and the angry part of the bipolar fades away and realize what I have done

Is this what sobriety means? I'll end up isolating everyone out of my life if I keep going like this. I feel so fucking bad for hurting her feelings, I know that shit just crushes women since they can't do anything to make up for being psychically unattractive.

Fhp threads are all fun and games but it's not worth it making these people feel bad. Maybe they have shit parents who never taught when what's right and already are starting in a deep dark hole by the time they are old enough to take responsibility..

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah you're an asshole OP. Why did you say that?
    I'm also battling a daily weed addiction and when I'm going through withdrawals I usually become autistic too, but for me it's more about embarrassing myself or stumbling upon words autism rather than straight up insulting someone

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    That was rude of you. Nothing to do with weed withdrawal.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I don't do this when I'm high..

      She's accepted her addiction. I took on mime, why should I shoe her respect

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        because you were here 5 days ago, too early to get high and mighty

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    fatty btfo

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's a zero tolerance for bullshit attitude, because of the temporary emotional rollercoaster. You were just speaking your mind instead of lying and soft rejecting.
    She won't pursue anymore... and that's a good thing. Game, set, and match.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    you insult them after they've swallowed your cum, you dumbass

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Been battling with alcoholism for over 10+ years, sober 8 months as of date.

    You'll never completely escape addiction. It's a coping tool for an internal fault and until you work out what the fault is.. it'll patiently wait for you to break on the sideline.

    If you're numbing your mind with weed, and/or any escape drug, you need to try look inward at the real problem. Sad answer is; it's probably you.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >If you're numbing your mind with weed, and/or any escape drug, you need to try look inward at the real problem. Sad answer is; it's probably you.
      not OP but yeah. I've figured out my real problem but weed makes me unable to act because I'm so numb. I always end up failing and getting crazy withdrawals

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Tbh if I were you and assuming your parents have the money to sustain your asses (which they prob have), I'd ask them or a few frens to lock me on a basement for 3 months with books, pen, notebooks, and healthy food. Addictions are hard but in the end they're just super strong delta-fos-b reinforced pathways. They wither down. Ofc they will return if you consume again, but if you smother them in this brute force manner first, you won't have to rely on willpower (which is crushed) for that first step.
        t. shrink.

        >since they can't do anything to make up for being psychically unattractive.
        Weight actually is the one thing most people, especially young, CAN control even if they won't.

        Also stop lookng for excuses to use again, in a month or two you won't need a crutch not to be an asshole.

        Women are kinda cursed in this regard. Roll a bad fat distro and you'll have to sweat your ass off to even achieve 7 /10. With men, its base intelligence, roll a dumb brain and you'll have to do thrice the effort to achieve 5/10 results.

        Take pregnenolone to get over your weed addiction. It's over the counter.

        https://time.com/1600/muting-marijuanas-high-pot-without-the-impairment/
        >The hormone, known as pregnenolone, is already sold over the counter as an anti-aging supplement, since it is a precursor to steroid hormones like estrogen and testosterone, which decline with age. The new research suggests it could treat people with marijuana use disorders — as well as alleviate symptoms related to accidental or over-doses of the drug.

        https://raypeat.com/articles/articles/three-hormones.shtml
        >In the 1940s, pregnenolone was tested in people who were sick or under stress, and it was found to have a wide range of beneficial actions, but the drug industry never had much interest in it. Its very generality made it seem unlike a drug, and its natural occurrence made it impossible to patent. Thus, many synthetic variants, each with a more specialized action and some serious side effects, came to be patented and promoted for use in treating specific conditions. The drug companies created an atmosphere in which many people felt that each disease should have a drug, and each drug, a disease. The side effects of some of those synthetic hormones were so awful that many people came to fear them. For example, synthetic varieties of "cortisone" can destroy immunity, and can cause osteoporosis, diabetes, and rapid aging, with loss of pigment in the skin and hair, and extreme thinning of the skin.

        Hmm. Noyce.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >abusing weed
    No such thing
    Stop being a gay

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      There absolutely is, especially with concentrates becoming more available/mainstream.

      "Addiction" however would be more debatable..

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        No, there isn’t.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >since they can't do anything to make up for being psychically unattractive.
    Weight actually is the one thing most people, especially young, CAN control even if they won't.

    Also stop lookng for excuses to use again, in a month or two you won't need a crutch not to be an asshole.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Take pregnenolone to get over your weed addiction. It's over the counter.

    https://time.com/1600/muting-marijuanas-high-pot-without-the-impairment/
    >The hormone, known as pregnenolone, is already sold over the counter as an anti-aging supplement, since it is a precursor to steroid hormones like estrogen and testosterone, which decline with age. The new research suggests it could treat people with marijuana use disorders — as well as alleviate symptoms related to accidental or over-doses of the drug.

    https://raypeat.com/articles/articles/three-hormones.shtml
    >In the 1940s, pregnenolone was tested in people who were sick or under stress, and it was found to have a wide range of beneficial actions, but the drug industry never had much interest in it. Its very generality made it seem unlike a drug, and its natural occurrence made it impossible to patent. Thus, many synthetic variants, each with a more specialized action and some serious side effects, came to be patented and promoted for use in treating specific conditions. The drug companies created an atmosphere in which many people felt that each disease should have a drug, and each drug, a disease. The side effects of some of those synthetic hormones were so awful that many people came to fear them. For example, synthetic varieties of "cortisone" can destroy immunity, and can cause osteoporosis, diabetes, and rapid aging, with loss of pigment in the skin and hair, and extreme thinning of the skin.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      List of pregnenolone brands:
      https://www.toxinless.com/pregnenolone

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the thread

    dumbass, if you wanna get better, you have to recover. that means more than just quitting the substance youre abusing and whiteknuckling literally every social interaction and conflict. that means doing recovery, whether that is therapy or 12step or whatever gay shit helps you be less of a fucken retard. worked for me.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Well done OP! A bj from a hog you don't like is basically meaningless anyway. Refusing it is better.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      she may have been the best dick sucker ever tho? fat chicks will always try harder to please, probs sluttier too. she may have let op pee on her face afterwards.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Not op but I have a deep amount of shame about everything I do since I was a child. It feels like a hole that I have in my heart where other people have compassion and soul I am woefully deficient

  13. 2 months ago
    I hate women

    tl;dr, also woman moment

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    No this isn't what sobriety means, you aren't in sobriety territory yet, you're in a stage of physical and psychological withdrawal from a habit that involves reward for no effort for a decade. If you started out smoking weed to mask something, you almost definitely gave yourself the additional problem of needing to satisfy the feedback loop of the act that rewards itself which is substance use. So you need to acknowledge 3 things: what you have masked has probably not improved and the issues you have been numbing will probably still be there, your coping skills have been eroded, you are also addicted to the act of taking a drug as you have trained your reward system into a cycle of anticipation of using a drug. What I can say is that, as another anon said, you aren't going to get anywhere unless you deal with your shit, but you also need both a reason to hate smoking weed to put it behind you, AND something to move forward towards. You need some hope, otherwise you are going to be stuck in the same position in which it all started. You can do it.

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly I don't think what you did was that bad, everyone is just a pussy these days. Think of it with roles reversed, a woman telling a guy "sorry I'm not into balds or manlets" and he runs away crying. She knows she's fat everyone can see it, you didn't insult her in any way just told her firmly you weren't interested in what she could offer you. Even fat goblinas think they're hot shit these days it's absurd

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Nah it gets better. About the bipolar, either you treat it now and put your ass into changing, or you don't. Try and get the best treatment possible, that is, therapists dedicated specifically to bdp, but either way, it's a coin flip. Some cases progress, some don't.
    Best of luck op.
    t. shrink.

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    James 3:1-18
    > Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!

    Proverbs 21:23
    > Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

    What you said was rude but no one can say it wasn’t the truth. If only she had the willpower to internalize that anger and shame and change herself.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Absolutely btfo'd drunk sexual harassment. Well played op

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm never truly happy and weed helps me ignore that. Same with alcohol. I haven't been deliberately sober in years.
    I can dance, and sing, and finish projects, and read, and watch, and learn, and exercise. No joy. I recall feeling like this even when young, when sober.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      have you heard of NAD+ infusions? Its like the new trendy iv drip millionaire celebs are doing to unfuck the problem you're mentioning and like reset the pleasure centers of the brain. Supposedly its a great treatment for ex-addicts since theyve fried their pleasure centers by getting high

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >NAD+
        Yes
        https://archive.org/details/the-phoenix-protocol-dry-fasting-by-a-dunning/page/n45/mode/1up

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    No anon it gets better reality is one hell of a drug

  21. 2 months ago
    Shamrock /fit/ server : https://discord.gg/jeFxG8qy

    Haha what a story Mark

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >crushes women since they can't do anything to make up for being (fat)

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    sobriety takes a little while to get good while your body adjusts for it. nothing to do but ride it out anon. luckily for you kicking weed isn't so bad, took me a few weeks and i was a-ok once again.

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tomorrow will make a week off weed after a decade of daily use. I feel happier than ever, almost euphoric, mainly because how good my sleep is now that I'm having dreams after years of blank nights. Today I made out with a girl in my dreams and woke up rested as fuck. WAGMI

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      the sleep thing is what made it easier for me to keep off weed, it is so much better it is astounding. can't go back. i'm also not dependent on it to get to sleep anymore thank god.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Absolutely. The fact that the default brain fog is gone from the 1st minute of the day makes it all so much easier I think it's the main reason my mood has improved so much.

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    No it's not sobriety.. you're actively in a withdrawal state after only 5 days. That means your body is sending emergency signals and its uncomfortable so it makes you extra irritable and sensitive. It might feel soul crushing right now since you said you're dealing with confronting past emotional trauma at the same time, but at the very least, as the withdrawal fades away you will start to feel better and more in control

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I feel so fucking bad for hurting her feelings

    Don't anon. She offered, you refused and said why.

    You didn't say anything rude. You just shared why you're not into her. Her being upset is her not being able to handle whatever it was she got upset about in your words.

    If a woman rejects a man, should she feel bad for saying she doesn't want a poor man? No? Then you don't have to feel bad for rejecting someone you don't like either.

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