Bigger than humans. Stronger than humans. Always fabulous hair, has no concept of baldness. Huge penis.

Bigger than humans.
Stronger than humans.
Always fabulous hair, has no concept of baldness.
Huge penis.
Aura of masculine potency that's naturally irresistible to women.

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Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Horses are weak af. Motherfrickers are constantly looking for ways to kill themselves.

    They have to be able to move their legs to be able to force blood to move around their big dumb bodies with their not big enough heart.
    Which makes it really difficult for them to heal from broken legs because they can't rest long enough for it to heal properly, and their leg bones are way too fragile and small for their bodies.
    The skin on their legs is also so god damn thin and taut that if it is cut badly enough its essentially impossible to close the wound. They like to deglove their hooves.
    They are hind gut ruminants with only one stomach, unlike foregut ruminants with multiple chambers/stomachs like cows and sheep. So they have to constantly eat small amounts for their digestive system to work. If they eat too much at once they frick themselves. If they drink water at the wrong time they frick themselves. If they lie down too long they frick themselves. They also can't vomit, so if their digestive system gets fricked with impaction it usually results in colic.
    And that's just off the tippy top of my head. Its amazing these dumb motherfrickers didn't go extinct before we could domesticate their moronic asses and look after them.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, but we're they like that before or after domestication?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, all of those issues existed before they were domesticated. Did we make it materially worse with horses bred for certain purposes, such as race horses? Absolutely.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This.
      An injury that wouldn't even register to a human is basically a death sentence for a horse. I really wonder how they survive in the wild. It's why I could never breed horses, I'd lose all sleep from all the worry about those morons killing themselves in unforeseen ways.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the stock that Western Steppe Herders bred them from was only 26 individuals, not counting tarpan or przewalski horses.

      Maybe some flaws are them just being inbred? How do donkeys fare in comparison?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Donkeys are typically seen as hardier and more feed-efficient than horses, but they do have some of the same (potential) issues, like being hind gut ruminants and needing to be able to move around to pump blood back up their legs.
        They are frequently used as livestock guardians, actually. Donkeys will absolutely murder coyotes; its kind of amazing to see actually.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Can confirm uncle raises black Angus cows and has 2 donkeys in the herd. Each one has killed 4 coyotes this year so far. They either stomp them into mush or kick them one good time then pick them up with their teeth and whip them around like a chew toy. Love those goofy looking frickers.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >be animal that stands in mud and eats grass all day
      >get Grass Sickness
      >get Choking Disease
      >get Mud Fever
      >die
      Horses are fricking moronic

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Horses are gay as hell, and so is OP.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pros:
    Good source of meat
    Good source of craft glue
    Cons:
    ?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Takes up space and high maintenance

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I had to put a horse down last year because he got spooked by an armadillo and snapped his leg. Another big con is the flehmen (picrel). They mainly do it to frick horsebitches but in reality they do it all the fricking time no matter what you read. Peak out into the pasture at night and see their glowing eyes and ghoul teeth...man that shit creeps me he frick out. the armadillo was dead btw

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Cons:
      not cow
      not sheep
      not goat
      High maintenance
      Useless as transportation

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >the way their muscles shake when they “shiver”
    It’s like watching a meat earthquake.
    I would sooner take a mare for a wife than any earthly woman.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      My gf does that when she orgasms. You're mentally ill.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No she doesn’t. I am talking about the way their muscles quake. Like a huge twitch that sends a wave over their muscle. If you’re touching them when it happens it feels like a very rapid vibration. But it’s their powerful muscles flexing all at once.
        These are semi divine creatures.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, her whole body shakes. Try having sex.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It’s not shaking. It’s like a tremor. It’s very fast. It’s not like what humans do. The horse flexes once and it ripples throughout their body. Humans don’t have the level of mass necessary for this effect to occur.
            You seem obsessed with sex and with “proving” something about human girls.

            Get help.
            Mares do it better.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >get help
              >fetishizing horses
              ok moron

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It’s not a fetish. It’s an objective fact. Mares are sexually superior to human girls. Mares have larger haunches, greater construction in the veganal tract, broader hips, cuter faces, cuter noses, deeper eyes, longer lusher hair, Mares uniformly possess the finest labia, they are simply superior.
                Stallions too are superior to human men. Stallions have 2 foot long wieners. About 1200% the testosterone of an ideal human male and 3200% the t. of the average modern male.
                Stallions have powerful thrusting muscles.
                I know what you’re thinking
                >stallions only last 2 seconds
                While true Stallions are ready to go at full capacity again within two minutes. A stallion can have sex far longer than a human if you measure by sessions had rather than length of individual sessions.
                Really a stallion can sex basically until it needs to sleep.

                Horses altogether are also much more loyal.
                A mare will adore you. Constantly showering you in affection kissing you and rubbing you and very often presenting themselves to you pushing their big bunda up against you so as to say “I need you now.”
                They bond with you for life.

                Humans are completely inferior by all metrics.
                >can you talk to a Mare?? Huh
                Yes. Mares also literally never say moronic garbage like girls and they never get the ick.
                >can you have kids with a Mare??
                It’s the effort that counts 🙂

                Mares are better than girls.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous
              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not reading all that, horse fricker.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                i think stallions get a bad rap, breeders explicitly train them not to do any of their normal stuff and finish the deed asap, like in nature they would be flirting and chasing and biting and kicking and it wouldn't seem so rote, and it's not like the vast majority of people could get a stallion off despite their supposed low stamina

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Based beyond belief. There is nothing more pure than love between a man and a mare.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It's not based to spout your mental illness here. I know you're likely just baiting. If not, you can get help.

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      dumbass father, now if he was getting fricked by a horse, now THAT is a reason to freak out and drink yourself into a coma

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Old geezer just caugh his son fricking his wife.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I love that they added "pregnant" to horse.
        Only could have been improved if they went for "pre-teen".

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >zoomer captions
        this is legal and common in latin america, nobody cares

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that's not even that bad
      would rather walk in on my son fricking a mare than another dude

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Things are pretty bad in the west right now.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    also very tasty meat

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >breaks a leg
    >only option is to die
    Wew truly based and superior I say

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Horses only use the tip of their dick. It's because they can't reach the mare otherwise, so their big dick is useless. No animal in the wild has a dick bigger than what is needed for procreation, we are the only "animal" that has bigger dicks than needed for procreation.

    And in all honesty, it's a completely gynocentric thing. There is no benefit in pleasure for the male, it's completely female focused.

    Then again, unnecessarily fat assess and big boobs are the same. It's just man straying away from his spiritual ideal to one that is even lower than that of a beast.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I doubt that all you’re saying is true. I’d be surprised if there were not a single other animal species with noticeable variance or a little extra meat downtown. I could believe you about horses though

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's the truth. Lion dicks, gorilla dicks, chimp dicks, it's all instant cumming and barely big enough and shaped in a way that helps them procreate. It's no bigger than needed (which is very small).

        Apologies for the stroke.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Huge penis.
    >Aura of masculine potency that's naturally irresistible to women.
    Touch grass, brainrot coomer.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Has to have years on intesnive training to not kill itself over a plastic bag blowing in thr breeze.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I unironically think we should be able to graft the dicks of castrated horses onto natty dudes who got shripped but still have small dicks from God thinking it'd be funny.
    >Verification not required

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Touch grass, brainrot coomer.

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Always fabulous hair, has no concept of baldness
    This is what gets me thinking. Why do only some humans go bald? It must be a genetic defect or something

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Takes them five seconds to breed. Same with bulls.

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >still humans b***h for a sugar cube

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If they were so superior they wouldn't have gotten completely subjugated by the apex species on earth: humans.

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