Bros...

Bros...

  1. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    WHY ISN'T THOR BLACK?
    garden gnomeS BE SLIPPIN

  2. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Thats literally how Thor was described, not the Barbie boy Marvel made you think he was.

    Only a bloatlord could almost drink the whole sea, can you imagine a fitness dude trying that?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Where is Thor described as morbidly obese? He's described as being red haired, bearded, and ridiculously strong; nowhere does it say that he's a fat retard.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        The thing is gotw shits on myth to make kratos look cool

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >god of the war

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          I hated what they did with Greek myth even though it was fun. But the Norse stuff was a misfire. Gameplay not as good or fun and they should have come up with an original character based on the Volsung Saga of something as based

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Baldur looked cool af though

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            No he didn't. He should have looked like pic rel. Not like a scrappy meth addict

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        The myths state, as the other anon stated, he almost drank the whole sea and is generally a heavy drinker and eater. His hair is also not explicitly said to be red iirc. It's "beautiful like gold" or something.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Do pagans be believing this bro actually drank the whole ocean?

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Do christians believe all the animals of the earth that lived were put on a boat?

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yes.jpg

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Embarrassing

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                POC cope

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not a biblical literalist (amerimutt)

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >POC cope
                Funny when blacks and latinos are more likely to both be religious and belief in biblical literalism

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                So you believe 2 of most 5.62 million land species and 7 of every "clean species" plus the other millions of extinct land species including dinosaurs and food for all of them for a year fit in a boat smaller than modern Livestock carrier

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Through God, all things are possible. Do you doubt His power?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >God can create the universe but he can't put animals on a boat
                And there didn't need to be 5 gorrilion animals on the boat. It could have just been the ancestor species for all the animals that adapted to separate environments and they changed over time. Adaptation is real but evolution as it's taught (pond scum somehow becoming sentient and developing eyeballs) is not.

                So the miracles cop out. Extremely rapid evolution that would cause a whole host of genetic damage

                It was a big ass boat bro. And clearly they didn't all make it (dinosaurs).

                Compared to modern day boats no and its size actually works against it the SS Wyoming was the biggest wooden boat ever built it was built with steel rivet and had to have pumps to let out water that came in cuz of its size even with all these technological advancements the boat will still buckle and capsized. Noah's ark was larger and didn't have technological advancements so it wouldn't fare well without miracles, also the dinosaur dying doesn't make any sense since God told Noah to take all the land animals.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >So the miracles cop out. Extremely rapid evolution that would cause a whole host of genetic damage
                Faith in the holy works of the divine is no copout. And your Evilution is a false idol that the atheist garden gnomes keep pushing to dissolve the Christian values that made society great.

                Christ is King.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                First of all a boat of incredible size would not be the most fantastical of God's miracles even the NT has miracles more stupendous.

                Even still maybe we can agree on some outer limits of the size of the boat coldly? More importantly I've already told you that verse objectively leaves it entirely open as to whether it was every animal on earth, or every animal in Noah's immediate region of earth. Again, it is a modern convention that we take one family of lizard and split it up into 1000 subspecies based on small cranial etc. differences. Perhaps this is a form of collective autism on our part to split everything up this way when it may be equally as valid to say they had all the major animal groups.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Most if not all dinosaurs are made up and no one has any idea how the few legit bones fit together.

                And he didn't say "rapid evolution" he said adaptation which, unlike the retarded theory of evolution that has become the modern creation myth, actually happens and can be observed.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                It was a big ass boat bro. And clearly they didn't all make it (dinosaurs).

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >God can create the universe but he can't put animals on a boat
                And there didn't need to be 5 gorrilion animals on the boat. It could have just been the ancestor species for all the animals that adapted to separate environments and they changed over time. Adaptation is real but evolution as it's taught (pond scum somehow becoming sentient and developing eyeballs) is not.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                5.6 million species LMAO yeah every slight variation of an animal is its own species, right... You couldn't move a goalpost irl if you tried, DYEL.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                So christcucks believe all animals are severely inbred because they descend from a single couple?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Those numbers don't lie my bro

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yeah I believe it. Maybe it was just a bunch of core species from which variation since that bottleneck all sprang from?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >prehistoric genetic bottleneck
                So you don't unironically believe the Noah's Ark story.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                First of all I think there is plenty of room in those particular verses to say that it may have indeed been every animal perhaps in Noah's immediate surroundings? Also there is still plenty of room to say he carried pairs of major types of species rather than each of 1000 small subspeices? I mean that is largely a modern convention how we differentiate species. I mean I could go out in the woods behind my house and ID 15 technically different species of oak but it may be just as accurate to boil boil them down various white oaks and red oaks.. So yeah I feel it is perfectly within bounds to say rather than literally every type of beast on the planet he took the major species in his region. Ultimately who knows because isn't totally clear one way or another from the verses.

                Secondly, Genesis is a cosmogony, and in the vein of all ancient cosmogonies I am okay with a certain amount of artistic abstraction to describe these great universe and earth shaping events to the language of men. Do I believe the rest of the text should be taken the same way- no. However I do believe Revelation is essentially the same in this regard except the opposite- it describes the end of the earth.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                So you do believe God flooded the earth in absence of evidence? You know Catholics, Anglicans, etc even garden gnomes don't try to rationalize the OT as literal historical events. There isn't even contemporary evidence for Moses, like that entire story was completely made up.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yes there was a great flood and pretty much every single ancient cosmogany tells of it including the Bible.

                The old testament IS a telling of historical events. Genesis however, tells of pre ancient events concerning the vast process of God's creation of the universe and the development of the Earth to what man now calls his home, and as such I think a certain amount artistism in telling those events to the minds of men (especially ancient men) is basically necessary.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Many cosmologies do, not all by a long shot. Ancient Canaanite paganism (where Yahweh came from) didn't, early garden gnomes took these stories from other cultures after the Babylonian captivity.

                Also I don't think you understand, Moses was quite literally made up. Orthodox garden gnomes even acknowledge this largely.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Orthodox garden gnomes are perhaps the worst and most shameless group to use for biblical interpretation.

                Their most pivotal prophecies all pointed to a Messiah in the general time of Christ- and in the wake of their desperate and failed attempt to force their own prophecies into existence (Kokhba and the second revolt), look how shamelessly they have reinterpreted their Messiah prophecies (arguably the most important part of their text) almost to the point of nonexistant abstraction. From the Christian perspective these are fallen and twisted people anyways.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'm just saying no one takes that story literally, and they accept that Moses doesn't appear to refer to a real person that walked the earth (unlike Jesus, there is at least contemporary evidence for Jesus imo). Only Americans seem to do this unironically.

                It was only two of each kind, not all animals in the world retard, so of course it happened.

                lmao

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Look you already chose the worst possible group of people on earth imaginable to try and bolster your view of the various interpretations, so I feel a presumption of bad faith argument is fair on my part tbqh.

                More importantly, when I actually read the verses I don't see any glaring issue with saying Moses was an extant individual. I see it as a perfectly sensible interpretation.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Just read lord of the rings lol you're talking like a Warhammer npc

            • 4 months ago
              I hate women

              It was only two of each kind, not all animals in the world retard, so of course it happened.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Everything in the Bible is based off eye-witness testimony. Meanwhile, evolution is just a theory.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Everything in the Bible is based off eye-witness testimony
                Ah so definitely bullshit, thank you for clearing that up

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                You fucking idiot, all of history has been observable and spread by word of mouth or writing. Where do you think legends come from?

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Ah, another literalist peasant.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          You're a fucking moron. This doesn't make Thor fat, and the context makes that even more obvious.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes it does dickhead. Your object of worship is a powershitter, deal with it.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Water has no calories, he pissed it all out and maybe got some bad kidney stones from the salt in the water
              But he was not fat
              Also, the game character does not look like a power shitter, looks like an untrained football hooligan

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Being a heavy drinker makes you gunted and therefore permafat

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >His hair is also not explicitly said to be red iirc

          Snorri said he is red haired. The thing about hair is that if there wasn't a description of it then the God had blond hair as a norm because there were few black haired and red haired gods and it was pointed out as a rare characteristic.

          Also no, Thor is never described as fat but strong.

          Also, the only one who was explicitely said to be a big eater is Loki but he is also described as beautiful and blonde so he was not fat at all.

          If you think about it, the nords were all poor as shit with a very poor agricultural production and relying on hunting and raising cows to survive. There is no way you could get fat or have a notion of a fat man in that environtment.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Read Thrymskvitha

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        he's built like a strongman, what the fuck is your problem?

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Like a strongman?
          He is built like an average 50yo bri'ish hooligan with liver problems, look at that pecs? you are telling me that those are strongman tier pec?
          Give him real pecs, stronger arms and legs in proportion and make him wider.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Reminder that strongmen need to literally plug into machines in order to not die in their sleep. It's not attainable natty in any way. And thunder gods especially in Indo-European tradition are not morbidly obese with alcoholic fatty liver disease. Vikangz didn't have a tradition of realism in sculptures but if they did they would have shown you gods with physiques that had little variation from the classical ideal. Pic rel is based from wood carvings the 1800's, before fatoids existed in any serious number, before they ruined the world. This is probably what Norse gods would look like, something like Arno Breaker or heroic Renaissance sculptures

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Lol. That's just a fat fuck, not a strongman build.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          That character in the game is built like a lardass, open your fucking eyes
          Zero muscle

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        You just described the OP photo m8

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        He got the obesity genes from his dad who drank semen

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Ah the literal gay gnomish erotic fanfic poster.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          The only origin for that claim about Odin is from a book called the History of Homosexuality by Greenberg
          You fucking garden gnome rat

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        he's bloatmaxxed retard

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wrong
      He is never described as fat in the myths, but as strong and built
      You fell for Sonygarden gnome lies

  3. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    that is actually how thor is supposed to look like.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Thread.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      this is a huge cope. he was absolutely never described as fat and was actually implied to be slender enough to pass as a woman when he puts on a dress in order to get his stolen hammer back. eats a lot doesn't mean fat for a literal war god.

  4. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I really hate how his gut makes him look like Randy from trailer park boys.

  5. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically the most based physique
    >stronger than low bf vanity tards
    >stronger than everyone really
    >keeps warm in the cold
    >able to survive without food for longer
    Strong fat and muscle gut motherfuckers will reign supreme when the world ends. Regular fats, dyels, and ripped freaks will suffer.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >stronger than everyone really
      Ah, yes. The contractile power of fat tissue.
      >keeps warm in the cold
      Human fat isn't insulating, but muscle is.
      >able to survive without food for longer
      He actually needs more calories because he's bigger. Crazy, right?
      A guy with the same muscle mass who isn't a fatass is objectively and obviously better. A guy in his weight class who isn't fat would just mog him to death.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >He actually needs more calories because he's bigger. Crazy, right?
        >A guy with the same muscle mass who isn't a fatass is objectively and obviously better.
        Except muscle is more calorically expensive to maintain than fat is, retard. Average height skinnyfat types with decent cardio and survival skills are the most likely to survive in SHTF scenarios

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Average height skinnyfat types with decent cardio and survival skills are the most likely to survive in SHTF scenarios
          Chudbros... we won!

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Chuds don't do cardio because it lowers test by 30 points or whatever

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Sorry, bro. She let me hit cuz I'm cuddly.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Cope starvin marvin

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          I am always starving despite always eating. How will I ever cope for beimg strong as shit and looking really good?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        You're absolutely fucking retarded if you think fat doesn't insulate.
        You probably live in fucking California, never seen winter before.
        Let me tell you bud, when you're working outside in -40, the bigger guys definitely suffer less than skin and bones.

        Dummy up.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >he would starve more quickly, because his fat reserves, whose primary purpose is to prevent starvation, require more calories to maintain
        holy fucking fuck you're stupid

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >He actually needs more calories because he's bigger. Crazy, right?
        Muscle burns 10x the calories of an equivalent mass of fat. Fat asses might have higher maintenance calories but the amount of time it takes to go through their reserves is massive

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        than everyone really
        >Ah, yes. The contractile power of fat tissue.
        Find one world's strongest man with visible abs.
        Other people have already pointed out your more obviously retarded points

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      He doesn't look strong at all.

  6. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Who the fuck is this twink. I won't settle for anything less than the god himself

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      F U L L

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I need grizzly x thor workout right now

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >100,000 calories a day
        >absurdly overloaded partials

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          So just normal grizzly

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      That’s who Kratos should be modeled after. The personification of strength.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      He will move Olympus, squat Eyjafjallajökull, and then eat the kraken. That's the hero we need and deserve

  7. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Who cares? The GoW reboot killed the franchise, it's just more of the same garbage now. Also not IST

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Based. It's like the first matrix movie, tarnished by all the nushit

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      SAD! Unfortunately, many such cases

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        B R V T A L

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I am not kidding when I say i would probably kill myself if I looked this small

  8. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    God of War games seem gay but that depiction of Thor isn't the worst. Maybe a little bit too fat/flabby but in the poetry Thor is said to devour entire oxen and drink entire casks of ale in one sitting while being the strongest of the Æsir. Definitely a mega bulk kind of body type

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      None of which would make a god obese with no muscle
      Thor would have looked like a strongman

  9. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    post the SBD version

  10. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >powerlifter physique

    Perfect representation.

  11. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    SJW diversity shit aside, that depiction of Thor is generally accurate to Norse mythology. The Marvel shit you have in your head is what's inaccurate.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      No it's fucking not. Morbidly obese people rarely existed. A god of thunder and vitality wouldn't be a lardass techfag phenotype.
      t. fat techfag

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        I bet you think golden abstract nonsense with eyeballs are biblically accurate angels too

        Read the actual texts and then seethe some more

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          retard

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          I did you dolt, I grew up reading the sagas and Eddas and Homer and Virgil. GoW is cringe, always has been

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I bet you think golden abstract nonsense with eyeballs are biblically accurate angels too

  12. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Literally me

  13. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    And adaptation happens extremely quickly. It doesn't take millions of years. It happens in hundreds. The earth is 6,000 years old. It's time to stop trusting garden gnomes wearing labcoats.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm okay with abstractions on the cosmogany portions of the Bible. I mean look at the sections talking about individuals who lived for 1000 years etc. they share the exact same names as ancient civilizations we know existed. Perhaps the gist here is that "our world" was born roughly 6-10k years ago with the end of the ice age and those great tumultuous climactic events that even modern scientists agree happened about that time which eliminated vast swaths of the earth biodiversity. Pre-ancient civilizations all wiped clean with a remnant or seed being preserved to restart after the slate was wiped clean. I'm not getting into Graham Hancock shit here but it is eerily reminiscent of Genesis and countless other ancient cosmoganies.

      Anyways I feel Genesis and Revelation are clearly artistic in nature and it is fitting for such vast in incomprehensible events to be described so colloquially (if you will).

  14. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically looks fat. Needs pecs to show he's got muscle underneath.

  15. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I got that game free for ps plus and I fucking hate it. Garbage movie game with mediocre gameplay

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's only for non-plebs

  16. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Subverters will subvert.

  17. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Based.
    I have a hard time believing the mainstream meme of Vikings being these chiseled demigods.
    Even the Elite Hoplites of the Roman/Greek army would be considered DYEL by most today.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Its annoying how the people who know nothing pretend to know everything
      Greek hoplites were literally ripped as fuck
      They are a healthy diet, trained in weightlifting, weapons and wrestling, and marched enormous distances
      If your Greek soldiers were sent to war in Persia, they fucking walked there, there was no other way
      Literally all historians agree that they were low bodyfat, cut as fuck
      Not skinny, not Dyel, war combat was all about physical strength on the individual soldiers vs soldier level, because they used melee weapons
      Archers were even more jacked, every time you pull a now string you are effectively doing a 50 kg one arm dumbell row

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        is Archery IST? I just started, I intend to get myself an English warbow eventually. I chose the strongest beginner bow (only 25#) and it was piss easy. Thinking about it you've given me the idea to do db rows on the other arm to prevent the hunchback skeleton imbalance

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Learn to shoot with both arms instead lol

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Learn to shoot with both arms instead lol

          Unironically this. If you don't want to be imbalanced just shoot on both sides or do db rows/resistance band training with your other side for the same volume. Historically english bowmen even had bent spines similiar to scoliosis if they operated the heaviest bows for years.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Seems pointless if you just want to do it as exercise, proper archery is just one motion, repeated consistently.

  18. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >NOT MY MYTHERINOS
    Who cares, lol. It's just a game.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Its making a mockery of my gods, who are real

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        They will be struck down. Whoever made this design is probably miserable, weak and will die of VAIDS

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Real bullshit that is

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        why don't your gods do something about it then? wither they approve of the depictions in which case you disagree with your own gods, or they can't do anything about it which means thor, Odin, freyja, all of them, have been frauding all this time about all their amazing feats.

  19. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    tfw you mog the shit out of fucking Thor

  20. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Reminder that for the dyels back then being built was being overweight.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      source: scandinaviafacts.com

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >T.early Germanic dyel.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hispanic ESL phone posting gay have a nice day before I stamp on your throat

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yngbaw

  21. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    The vast majority of gods are actually fallen angels. I don't really care about their accurate portrayals, lol.

  22. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >american game
    >fat npc
    color me surprise

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