I've thought about booby trapping the stationary bikes. Essentially, a 30lb kettlebell is attached to the rafters that is triggered to drop when the seat registers 250lbs or more. Not so much a prank as it is stone cold Archimedean murder, but I don't think most people at my gym would mind given that stationary bikes are the reddit of cardio machines suited for people that somehow imagine they will lose weight by sitting down and paddling their feet like a gay.
>name daughter Wendy >let her get fat
Oof, Wendy the whale, Wendy's, Wendy the World, Wide Wendy, Wobble Wendy, Waddling Wendy, Wendy: ender of tendies, Wide End Wendy, Wendy Lunch bell ringin'
Seriously. I hate being an uptight fag, but work is work. I'm there to do my job and make money. It's not high school, no one should be changing your computer settings or unplugging things at your desk. I hate fat people too but I hate adults who do childish shit like this even more.
Fiddling with chairs and desk is kinda lame high school crap. But you should lock you computer if you leave it unattended, so we did crap like that to school newbies to lock your computer when you go take a shit and such.
Being american must be sad.
I live in eastern block and we all make such jokes on each other at work and nobody gives a shit.
We once played the 3rd reich anthem and our supervisor(which is a woman) came by and was grooving to it and asked us what is the song, so we told her the truth.
Her reaction was "well... fuck" and she went by to do her shit.
Eastern block > america.
Can confirm, once we, led by our team manager, changed coworkers wallpaper to gay porn. Took him a few days to notice since he had something maximized most of the time.
Seriously. I hate being an uptight fag, but work is work. I'm there to do my job and make money. It's not high school, no one should be changing your computer settings or unplugging things at your desk. I hate fat people too but I hate adults who do childish shit like this even more.
https://i.imgur.com/HjvhnUy.jpg
>all this happens >she never once goes to HR
do you think small business care, or even have an HR?
lol, lmao
Care about what? Company secrets and private materials being stolen because a fat cunt cant lock her laptop when she cant wait to stuff her face?
Yeah I think they care about that, especially the related lawsuits.
Lmao you’ve never been in a corporate setting in your life.
I worked in legal for a relatively large healthcare corp. People had passwords on a sticky on their monitor because they never changed it from when IT set it up. The doors are locked with fob entry what the fuck could possibly happen? “Muh company sekrits” isnt an excuse for harassing someone at work.
She should still probably eat less food though.
1 month ago
Anonymous
yeah her fatness is and excuse to harass her though . gross fattys need to be sent to africa
1 month ago
Anonymous
>Muh company sekrits isn't an excuse to harass people at work”
It unironically is. You're doing the company a favor and teasing your coworker for being retarded
1 month ago
Anonymous
Yeah bro better avoid lawsuits by fucking with a fat chick’s chair. Retard.
Again, you have clearly never worked in a professional environment.
100 bucks says nobody is even messing with the fatoid. Its probably the cleaning guy unplugging shit by accident or moving chairs around to vacuum and this fatoid has such an ingrained victim complex she thinks somebody is out to get her while everybody else doesnt even notice the minor inconveniences like an adjusted chair or unplugged phone
I'd be pretty pissed at the guy if I found out he was completely preventing productivity for some dumb prank like changing the language on peoples computers to arabic
No, I only prank that bitch of a moron who works at HR and constantly makes us listen to her endless "muh racism" and "muh diversity" sermons. I have, for example, replaced her lactose free milk with real milk once and she's complained about stomach cramps for weeks. I've replaced the sign at her door once when I came to the office on a sunday so that it read "Mrs. <name>, Dept: Subhuman resources". Took them a few days to notice, kek. Shit like that. Might get fired one day if they catch me, but I'm thinking about quitting anyway.
Well, I suppose, she's fat, too, so I am pranking a fatty, but that's not the reason why I do it.
Being american must be sad.
I live in eastern block and we all make such jokes on each other at work and nobody gives a shit.
We once played the 3rd reich anthem and our supervisor(which is a woman) came by and was grooving to it and asked us what is the song, so we told her the truth.
Her reaction was "well... fuck" and she went by to do her shit.
Eastern block > america.
My boss called us morons in front of a french company representative. The guy pretended that he didn't hear it. He never called us that before or after, so not sure why he decided to say it lmao.
Eastern Europe as well.
We would always tell a new employee that our boss would order them subway on their first day, just walk into his office with your order written down and hand it to him. Never got a massive fatty to do it, but that would make it even funnier.
>leave computer unlocked when out of the room
Who does this? This is IT security lesson 1. She should be fired for that alone, especially since she clearly keeps fucking doing it
fuck that. I'll lock my computer when I leavevfor lunch or at the of the day but if I'm going for a piss I'm not going to lock it and unplug my yubikey then go through the login rigamarole again. If they wanted me to lock the pc all the time they shouldn't make logging in like pulling teeth. Excessive security incentivizes circumvention.
The worst thing I do to my co-workers is I swap my stapler or whatever for theirs whenever my stuff runs out. And tell them our manager was asking why they didn't show up on days they had off, as in making it out that they were meant to be in and forcing them to check their schedules all the time. It's all in good fun.
I actually emphasize with the sentiment "I just want to be left alone and do my job."
Why the fuck does everyone keep trying to talk to me, like leave me alone social interaction stresses me out
I am 28 years old and I never had a job
Same except I’m 31
How
How do you pay for stuff? What would you do if that income source disappears? Work at McDonalds?
I've thought about booby trapping the stationary bikes. Essentially, a 30lb kettlebell is attached to the rafters that is triggered to drop when the seat registers 250lbs or more. Not so much a prank as it is stone cold Archimedean murder, but I don't think most people at my gym would mind given that stationary bikes are the reddit of cardio machines suited for people that somehow imagine they will lose weight by sitting down and paddling their feet like a gay.
stationary bikes are great
>name daughter Wendy
>let her get fat
Oof, Wendy the whale, Wendy's, Wendy the World, Wide Wendy, Wobble Wendy, Waddling Wendy, Wendy: ender of tendies, Wide End Wendy, Wendy Lunch bell ringin'
wow you would have made a good bully
keeeek
>Wendy: ender of tendies, Wide End Wendy
Top kek
>Wendy Lunch bell ringin'
>Wendy: ender of tendies
My sides
An artisan at work. Beautiful.
>Wendy: ender of tendies
>Wendy Lunch bell ringin'
kino
Not
>World Wide Wendy
You missed your chance, bucko
The list can keep on growing, god knows Wendy is.
do you know mahk?
>Wendy: ender of tendies
>all this happens
>she never once goes to HR
Seriously. I hate being an uptight fag, but work is work. I'm there to do my job and make money. It's not high school, no one should be changing your computer settings or unplugging things at your desk. I hate fat people too but I hate adults who do childish shit like this even more.
Fiddling with chairs and desk is kinda lame high school crap. But you should lock you computer if you leave it unattended, so we did crap like that to school newbies to lock your computer when you go take a shit and such.
Can confirm, once we, led by our team manager, changed coworkers wallpaper to gay porn. Took him a few days to notice since he had something maximized most of the time.
do you think small business care, or even have an HR?
lol, lmao
Care about what? Company secrets and private materials being stolen because a fat cunt cant lock her laptop when she cant wait to stuff her face?
Yeah I think they care about that, especially the related lawsuits.
Lmao you’ve never been in a corporate setting in your life.
I worked in legal for a relatively large healthcare corp. People had passwords on a sticky on their monitor because they never changed it from when IT set it up. The doors are locked with fob entry what the fuck could possibly happen? “Muh company sekrits” isnt an excuse for harassing someone at work.
She should still probably eat less food though.
yeah her fatness is and excuse to harass her though . gross fattys need to be sent to africa
>Muh company sekrits isn't an excuse to harass people at work”
It unironically is. You're doing the company a favor and teasing your coworker for being retarded
Yeah bro better avoid lawsuits by fucking with a fat chick’s chair. Retard.
Again, you have clearly never worked in a professional environment.
not the locking of machines, of course they care about that, the pranking of fatties.
My family owns a small business and that shit is non-stop. Nobody cares
She can always look for another job, too.
If you can't have fun at work, what's the point? As long as the person is taking it in good humour a bit of light bullying/teasing/pranks is fine.
100 bucks says nobody is even messing with the fatoid. Its probably the cleaning guy unplugging shit by accident or moving chairs around to vacuum and this fatoid has such an ingrained victim complex she thinks somebody is out to get her while everybody else doesnt even notice the minor inconveniences like an adjusted chair or unplugged phone
>the cleaning guy accidently changed my computers language to Sanskrit by bumping into the table when I walked away for a few minutes to take a shit
I'd be pretty pissed at the guy if I found out he was completely preventing productivity for some dumb prank like changing the language on peoples computers to arabic
>fat woman
>implying she isn't HR
would explain why she is targeted, fuck HR
The point of shaming fatties is to inspire them to get IST. Simple cruelty is pointless.
>what is lulz
Baby don't hurt me
No, I only prank that bitch of a moron who works at HR and constantly makes us listen to her endless "muh racism" and "muh diversity" sermons. I have, for example, replaced her lactose free milk with real milk once and she's complained about stomach cramps for weeks. I've replaced the sign at her door once when I came to the office on a sunday so that it read "Mrs. <name>, Dept: Subhuman resources". Took them a few days to notice, kek. Shit like that. Might get fired one day if they catch me, but I'm thinking about quitting anyway.
Well, I suppose, she's fat, too, so I am pranking a fatty, but that's not the reason why I do it.
Being american must be sad.
I live in eastern block and we all make such jokes on each other at work and nobody gives a shit.
We once played the 3rd reich anthem and our supervisor(which is a woman) came by and was grooving to it and asked us what is the song, so we told her the truth.
Her reaction was "well... fuck" and she went by to do her shit.
Eastern block > america.
What exactly do you mean by "3rd Reich anthem"?
Horst Wessel Lied.
ok, fair enough. Keep going, slavbro.
My boss called us morons in front of a french company representative. The guy pretended that he didn't hear it. He never called us that before or after, so not sure why he decided to say it lmao.
Eastern Europe as well.
Nobody pranks me in my office.
We would always tell a new employee that our boss would order them subway on their first day, just walk into his office with your order written down and hand it to him. Never got a massive fatty to do it, but that would make it even funnier.
Wendy needs to buy some window alarms or a dye pack or something
>leave computer unlocked when out of the room
Who does this? This is IT security lesson 1. She should be fired for that alone, especially since she clearly keeps fucking doing it
fuck that. I'll lock my computer when I leavevfor lunch or at the of the day but if I'm going for a piss I'm not going to lock it and unplug my yubikey then go through the login rigamarole again. If they wanted me to lock the pc all the time they shouldn't make logging in like pulling teeth. Excessive security incentivizes circumvention.
It's funny how a board full of losers who claim to be ostracized by society, bullied in school, etc. are so happy to dogpile on an easy target.
>losers who claim to be ostracized by society, bullied in school, etc
??? projecting your personal problems?
We're all varsity athletes who got recruited to elite schools here. Pretty sure we have at least 1 MIT guy.
I didn't have the making of a varsity athlete though.
>Gets bullied in 6th grade for being fat
>Stays fat through adulthood
I mean, yeah? Most pipo get fat as a coping mechanism. If bullying fixed fatties we wouldn’t have fatties.
Not a fatty or a bully. I work from home so I don’t have to deal with either.
>he doesn't bully himself
>making it
if i had the energy and the creativity i would do this to some people
ive been working from home for 2 years now though
The worst thing I do to my co-workers is I swap my stapler or whatever for theirs whenever my stuff runs out. And tell them our manager was asking why they didn't show up on days they had off, as in making it out that they were meant to be in and forcing them to check their schedules all the time. It's all in good fun.
I sent a morbidly obese dude a pig figurine in the mail once but thats it. Idk how he reacted.
the part about the school made this more believable
i'd love to fuck her fat body after this prankster made her feel bad
unironically, if you go to hr about this and nothing is done, you can sue the company for enough money to retire
dog bless the usa
I actually emphasize with the sentiment "I just want to be left alone and do my job."
Why the fuck does everyone keep trying to talk to me, like leave me alone social interaction stresses me out
>connect to bluetooth and play “I FEEL GOOD”
KEEEEEEEK Based prankster
rtorled