>girl asks about your lifting calluses

>girl asks about your lifting calluses
How do you respond without giving away that you lift?

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I do a lot of whittling. I offer to show her my collection of carved and hand painted ducks. She accepts. I panic, because this means I have 24 hours to produce and finish a dozen wooden ducks.
    I ghost her.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >collection of carved and hand painted dicks

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >collection of carved and hand painted dicks

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous
      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        is this made by stable diffusion? holy shit

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm pretty sure that image is like 20 years old.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            stable diffusion in 2002? what the fuck

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Be talking to a girl
      >She asks why hands are calloused
      >Panic, can't admit I go to the gym, which most would see as a relatively normal activity
      >"Ducks. I carve ducks. Yeah, I got them from whittling the rough wood to ducks by hand. Then I paint them. I've got dozens of them, you should check them out sometime."
      >mfw Speech Check Passed
      >"Oh. Well, that's cool. Maybe I could come over and see them or hang out or something, I'm free tomorrow, what about you?"
      >End Conversation

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I was thinking of it more as like a Costanza from Seinfeld bit but I like this too.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/mwpwEI5.gif

      >Be talking to a girl
      >She asks why hands are calloused
      >Panic, can't admit I go to the gym, which most would see as a relatively normal activity
      >"Ducks. I carve ducks. Yeah, I got them from whittling the rough wood to ducks by hand. Then I paint them. I've got dozens of them, you should check them out sometime."
      >mfw Speech Check Passed
      >"Oh. Well, that's cool. Maybe I could come over and see them or hang out or something, I'm free tomorrow, what about you?"
      >End Conversation

      >I'm in a LOT of trouble Jerry, it's that normie girl I've been talking to
      >Oh yeah, how's she doing anyways?
      >*snaps fingers* That's it, your MOTHER'S DUCKS Jerry, last Hannuka when we visited your parents she had a magnificent collection of wooden ducks
      >My mother's ducks?
      >You see, she noticed these callouses on my hand Jerry, and she asked where I got them!
      >And you got them from the gym, you've been really pumping iron
      >I can't just tell her that Jerry, you don't just tell a woman you've been working out- she'll think that means you've been trying too hard.
      >What's wrong with that?
      >Jerry, Chad is just BORN with it Jerry. If a woman knows you have to try for anything it's over, donezo!
      >I don't know if I agree with that, but what did you tell her?
      >I told her I whittle Jerry. It's a masculine hobby with masterful artistry, I thought it would impress her that my hands were rough from whittling.
      >and...?
      >Well, I told her I whittle ducks... and that she could come see them some time.... and she asked if tomorrow was good. Jerry, I have only 24 hours to fill my appartment up with Ducks or I'm toast!
      >George, that's rediculous, you should have told her the truth, and... wait, my mother's ducks? You don't mean-
      >I NEED THOSE DUCKS JERRY, I NEED YOUR MOTHERS DUCKS
      [Jerry Rises to his feet]
      >I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY MOTHERS DUCKS, THOSE ARE HEIRLOOMS

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >*Kramer walks in*
        >my friend Bob Scamano diddles ducks!

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          https://i.imgur.com/15XNKz3.jpg

          [...]
          >I'm in a LOT of trouble Jerry, it's that normie girl I've been talking to
          >Oh yeah, how's she doing anyways?
          >*snaps fingers* That's it, your MOTHER'S DUCKS Jerry, last Hannuka when we visited your parents she had a magnificent collection of wooden ducks
          >My mother's ducks?
          >You see, she noticed these callouses on my hand Jerry, and she asked where I got them!
          >And you got them from the gym, you've been really pumping iron
          >I can't just tell her that Jerry, you don't just tell a woman you've been working out- she'll think that means you've been trying too hard.
          >What's wrong with that?
          >Jerry, Chad is just BORN with it Jerry. If a woman knows you have to try for anything it's over, donezo!
          >I don't know if I agree with that, but what did you tell her?
          >I told her I whittle Jerry. It's a masculine hobby with masterful artistry, I thought it would impress her that my hands were rough from whittling.
          >and...?
          >Well, I told her I whittle ducks... and that she could come see them some time.... and she asked if tomorrow was good. Jerry, I have only 24 hours to fill my appartment up with Ducks or I'm toast!
          >George, that's rediculous, you should have told her the truth, and... wait, my mother's ducks? You don't mean-
          >I NEED THOSE DUCKS JERRY, I NEED YOUR MOTHERS DUCKS
          [Jerry Rises to his feet]
          >I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY MOTHERS DUCKS, THOSE ARE HEIRLOOMS

          Plot threads for this episode:
          >Bob Sacramento's ducks are terrible, and George needs to refinish all of them
          >This covers his hands in actual cuts and callouses, some funny quip about how this is worse than deadlifting and he tries chalking his palms but that makes it worse

          >George almost loses his job when he tries to steal a duck from the mantle of one of his baseball team's players

          >When his date comes over she shakes his hand and it starts bleeding
          >She goes into his medicine cabinet
          >It's full of preworkout and cumnaxing supplements
          >YOURE A FREAK GEORGE COSTANZA, A FREAK, I COULD NEVER LOVE A MAN WHO TAKES ASHWAGANDHA

          >Final but if the episode is Jerry and Elaine trying to console George, who's hands are now wrapped in a comical amount of bandages
          >Elaine needs to be caught up on everything, and seems shocked when Jerry explains George didn't want her to know he worked out
          >I don't know, I'd sooner take a man who works out than some weirdo who carves ducks
          >Do you really mean that Elaine?
          >Mm, yeah... But he'd have to be tall and have a full head of hair
          >George starts screaming, last frame is his face of anguish
          [Bon, badomba bee ba Bom, bom bom.bee. babadabomp]

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'd watch Seinfeld episodes written by you. With no audience laughter, of course

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        That was actually really good anon.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I just say that I'm working construction on the side. A lot of girls like that because they think it's manly. Once a girl read my palm on a date and recognized my calluses since her father and brother were both oly lifters. She fucked like a bunny, good times

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I got them from strangling MANY garden gnomes.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      fourth post best post

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I wish the hebrews would point out which ones are khazars so I can know who to hate without having to do further research

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Just tell them it's from working on your family's ranch, bitches love that shit.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    "I jack off a lot"

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tell her you squeeze your dick so hard when you beat it that it gives you callouses.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    "Oh I just do a couple of push ups before bed haha"

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >without giving away that you lift?
    Why does this matter?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Tell her you lift
      >She knows you're a gymcel

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    "I got them from lifting weights". Stop looking so deeply into everything

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    should have worn gloves gay

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I tell everyone I get mine from gardening

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I do not speak to women who aren't cashiers or waitresses.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >She's a cashier

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Just say you're a really aggressive masturbater.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I masturbate with sandpaper
    >shrugs

    Ive had girls laugh at that before. Stop taking them seriously

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      So.. you put the sand paper facing out?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        If you gotta ask, then my dick will be too rough for u bb

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Explain that you jerk off animals for a living, if shes white it'll probably turn her on

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