>got excommunicated by the gym bishop for looking sinfully at the gym harlot
knightbros... I'm not gonna make it...
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
>got excommunicated by the gym bishop for looking sinfully at the gym harlot
knightbros... I'm not gonna make it...
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
You just mad me sad that my gym doesn't have a bishop
>gym brigands stole my shaker bottle
flopka
>tfw declared gym jester again
i pretended to just laugh it off, but brethren, it's killing me inside
knoweth that feel brethren
I freaking hate when lustful temptresses try to seduce me and strip me of my innocence
Time to start your own religion that lets you marry multiple women
Yeah it's called mormanism.
But if Christ makes you seethe, try islam.
before you can embark on the gym jihad you need to wait for the gym persians and the gym romans to wear themselves through decades of bloody gym warfare
>gym got ransacked by nomadic horse-riders once more
They looted everything except the smith machine. Pray for my gains brothers, as i pray for yours.
You just let a bunch of horse archers take your women and you did nothing? Jesus man your genetics are going to be slave apes that don't stand up for themselves.
Why would they take the maidens when they seek the gains? If his gym hadn't those creatures in the first place, they might've stood a chance.
It's not my fault all my lord lets me eat is gruel and those guys somehow filled the gym with meat, fruits, and fricking piles of israeliteelry they ransacked from God knows where
That’s what happen when you train alone instead of training with your equine companion
the bishop catching you in the sinful act
Too bad there isnt a gym just for guys.
>Too many harlots spending hours walking on treadmills, doing air squats, and doing the veganal stretcher machine in the tightest of fibers distracting me.
>The muslims were right about women all along brothers
guy heaven gym
Open up a gym.
Every new member gets his own brown gym strip and only play gregorian chant. Call it Monk Fitness or something.
>The muslims were right
This looks like a case for the gym inquisition!
>local lord commissioned a new training yard at his castle
>yeah why not check it out
>mount my horse and began my journey
>some stinking bandit tried to knock me off so i behead the fricker
>arrive at the castle
>dwarves and dainty men performing basic training wrong
>is an afront my honor as knight
>not even any wenches
By the grace of god, what is this lord problem?
Did he invite the weakest knights in the realm to part take in "training"
Should i just butcher them alll, what should i do?
The lord is becoming weak sire…perhaps you should attack and take his throne…*giggles wickedly*
>gym hoplites are practicing gladius thrusts in the pankration rack again
Job 31:1
Stop listing after them, degenerate. It’s creepy.
Samuel 12: 8
I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your keeping, and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more!
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
>Gym apothecary charges 3 silver for a scoop of whey
Brother why are you paying the merchant apothecary your hard earned silver for whey? Forsooth it is your right to claim it from the peasantry
Serves you right for succumbing to your lust, sir knight.
couldnt you wait for the image to load
The frick are you talking about? The image is fine.
>didn't bring enough gym doubloons to pay for the plate rental
arrrrrg..
>got promoted to royal knight after slaying "morbidly the beast"
See you later wagecuck knightbros
Toughest battles for the best warriors
repent sinner
>accepting excommunication by the lower priest class
>not knowing that such a thing is impossible for a true warrior standing in the light of the devine, as this is the natural order
it's literally over for you, modern cuck
Noble brethren, I believe I may have contracted the dreaded leprosy of the loins from the gym trebuchet. I am sending my squire with a sternly worded parchment to the lord of the manor, regarding the presence of sinful men in the gym. However I am considering escalating this matter to the holy church. Do I have a case or is it best to keep this matter within the laws of the realm?
Furthermore does anybody know a reputable medicae? My doctor has taken to wearing a crow's beak mask and insists I do the same within his barber shop.
Dont go to the doctor. Since you will lose the feel of pain on your skin it is time to forge your body. Become the mightiest warrior of the lands and shield the world from dark eldritch horrors.
You will soon learn that adversity and existence are one and the same
>gym alchemist still hasn't managed to transmute chalk into creatine
>the hairgrowth potion he sold me just gave me diarrea
>gym harlots try to corrupt me
>use my status as a holy knight to declare them witches
>gym comes together for a trial
>a witch cannot 1/2/3/4 as everyone knows
>they fail
>burn them in the power cage
>squat 3pl8 over their ashes
Brothers, these prostitutes and wenches are becoming bothersome. Why must they try and seduce men doing God's work?
Spirits, I be lifting big rock over head, then men with hair on face come and demand my oats. Hearts were taken for sacrifice that night, but now lungs and head burn like fire and breathing is hard
Frick foreigners, posing homosexuals