>got pissmogged at the office urinal again

>got pissmogged at the office urinal again

Once again, was in position, took the middle one to assert dominance like you guys suggested, and some lanklet arrived and took the one next to me and started fucking striking a conversation with me. Couldn't pee. Could hear him, nice strong almost musical stream.

Please help bros, what exercises should I do to be able to pee under stress. Any advice on how to increase stream's strength?

  1. 3 weeks ago

    Congrats, you're the office bitch now. Don't go to drinks tomorrow

  2. 3 weeks ago

    Try to visualise a waterfall

  3. 3 weeks ago

    The simple thing that works for me is counting backwards from 100 in steps of 3. Basically distracting yourself from the pee shyness

  4. 3 weeks ago

    >tries to assert dominance
    >gets brutally dominated by based pissconversationalist
    congratulation, you played yourself

  5. 3 weeks ago

    >lean over
    >eh bro that's a Hispanicy steam ya got there, as for me, I like to stay hydrated
    >how many inches ya got there bud? Im pretty short myself, looks like you got 3 or 4 inches soft, hows it look hard?
    >man, I get hard every time another dude tickles me, it's frickin strange, fren —
    >hey now! You're not planning on getting ME hard, are you? I'll get ya first you silly boots!

    The bathroom is now yours.

  6. 3 weeks ago

    Had a similar situation happen to me at my offices.
    >Sitting in office after lunch
    >Hiss out some hot butt air
    >Co-worker walks in
    >He says "Damn, bro, did you fart?"
    >Raise eyebrow and do a half grin
    >"Sorry man, didn't know you were comin' by to get a free sample"
    >He laughs and eventually leaves
    >Later that afternoon
    >Enter his office with paperwork
    >My eyes water, my lungs protest, my mouth clenches, my nose burns
    >I could barely speak it smelled so bad
    >He turns from his monitor and says "Sorry bro, just beefed."
    >It was so much worse than mine
    >I went home early. Defeated.

    Why do I care so much? How did he do it?

  7. 3 weeks ago

    Do what I do. Imagine a dead animal laying on the side of the road. It seems to help if it looks like it's been dead a while, like you can see part of its skeleton. Got me through pissing alongside 80 other people

    • 3 weeks ago

      How do you stop yourself from getting hard though???

      • 3 weeks ago

        If you're into necrophilic beastiality, I have a hard time believing you'd have trouble pissing in front of anyone, or even be in a position where it's necessary

  8. 3 weeks ago

    >taking a shit while having a friend over
    >he's shouting that he needs to go too
    >i leave a respectable poop mark inside the toilet
    >"sorry about the mess, it was a tough one"
    >friend goes in
    >"yo your toilet won't flush!"
    >no way..
    >i look inside and it's the most fattest, longest turd i've seen
    >we had to pick it up and throw it outside
    Some people just have the right genetics.

    • 3 weeks ago

      My brother was like that. He'd only shit every three days and it was always bigger than my 12 year old arm. It never went down. He had a special poop spoon he used to cut it up, but he'd almost never do it, instead just letting it sit there for someone else to fix.

      • 3 weeks ago

        Thats literally me. I shit bricks and have to break it down before flushing 9/10 times.

    • 3 weeks ago

      Dude just fill a bucket and pour it in

  9. 3 weeks ago

    fucking hell

  10. 3 weeks ago

    I always go straight to the stall
    Fuck urinals

    • 3 weeks ago

      coward's way out

      • 3 weeks ago

        Call me what you must, I do what has to be done.

  11. 3 weeks ago

    At office I pee in stall
    Urinals have a bounce back splash and I don’t want my pants to smell like piss.
    Also if you need help peeing, think of a time you had sex with a girl to relax.
    You are welcome.

  12. 3 weeks ago

    >work in a uni
    >had 3 cups of coffee during a 2 hour meeting
    >get to the urinal
    >start the pisse
    >twiggy student comes in next to me
    >struggles to get it going
    >i'm still in full stream
    >he's already trickling off
    >fumbles with his zipper. can smell the insecurity steaming off him
    >me still going
    >flustered, he washes his hands with no soap
    >doesn't use the dryer
    >me still blurinating

    i'm the king of little piss bitch mountain

    • 3 weeks ago


  13. 3 weeks ago

    I straight up just grunt and yell at my dick in front of everyone
    >hurry up you little moron!
    >lol guess youve been slammin too much trim, eh? you fucking hoser!
    >don't you make me make you walk into the door handle again, bitch!
    That sort of thing

  14. 3 weeks ago

    >get girl over to my small but nice apartment
    >playing a game of chess
    >I excuse myself to take a leak
    >piss hard since we had been drinking a bit that night
    >come back and she says "you piss like a fucking race horse"
    >"haha sorry"
    >"no it's kinda hot"
    >"oh well then you should see what else it can do then"
    >she agrees and we fugg
    thanks piss

  15. 3 weeks ago

    >I work at a Uni, we have student workers in office.
    >Was in men's room taking a long good piss
    >Room is setup so urinal is on same wall as door and is right next to the door, though there is a divider in between.
    >I'm tall so my head is over the divider, piss is so long and I was holding it so long it felt good to piss it all out
    >I had my head back slightly turned to door and was making an 'AHHHHHHH' sound cause it felt great to pee after having to hold it for a long time
    >right then student worker, also tall walks in door and makes full on eye contact with me as I'm pissing going "AHHHHH"
    >He said "sorry" and turned and left
    >I couldn't help but start laughing which probably made me seem psycho

  16. 3 weeks ago

    Flush the urinal, the sound of water will help you pissmax

  17. 3 weeks ago

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