>having a heavy depressive episode
>still trying to function as a human
>doing chores, going out to eat, even by myself just to not be stuck at home all day
>head to the gym
>load up the barbell for squats
>going decent, worked up to 150kg for reps
>160 for a single
>ez
>165
>completely buckle on the way up and have to dump the bar
>do 2 more sets of 120 and just leave
>what little motivation I had completely drained
>tfw my PR was 4pl8
Is there such a thing as a natural anti-depressant? I used to be on SSRIs and I felt like a walking zombie.
this is just what's it like, i realised
my life doesn't have any purpose, some days it's easier to escape through the gym, vidya, books, movies etc
other days it's worse
hang in there buddy, try shrooms or just sleep more maybe, it'll pass
it really is difficult finding any kind of purpose to continue on, maybe shrooms could help, i've got very little to lose anyway.
but why? what did i do wrong?
>but why? what did i do wrong?
Did you really do nothing wrong? Did you?
Im suffering a similar fate but sometimes I feel like a deserve it.
I dont know, i'm a good moral person, I treat everyone with respect and dignity but in return i feel invisible, like i'm just background noise
self hating schizo giving advice. lots of projection here
Ain't no point trying to figure it out. Maybe there's a justification, maybe there's none. Best you can do is accept it.
>maybe shrooms could help
Brother, I was at my absolute worst (NEET for 4 years, clinically depressed since 11) when I took 3g without experience, and let me tell you they have changed me.
In one year I have become quite IST, went back to studying, had a regular hookup and generally my mental state has done a 180, although there are bad days here and there I know they never last.
I absolutely recommend you do it, only because you seem to have hit rock-bottom mentally.
Although I will say, I feel as if it somehow traumatized me into becoming better, as if it had finally killed the Boy inside of me to make place for the Man/
thank you for sharing your experience, i smoke a lot of weed but it only dulls the pain and the euphoria is all but gone, what type of mushrooms and what dosage do you recommend?
lol i'm 0/4
Any psilocybin containing mushroom will do
If you're anything like me you'll need to go with a bigger dose (2.5g+) to truly feel change
Make sure you are in a safe place physically when you try them
buy cough syrup, make sure it only consists of DXM. I remember this helped me years ago to get out of the rut, it inspired me to care more about things - science, art etc. But its unhealthy so do it only once a year max
>try shrooms
Self medicate with psychedelics and become like Narcissa Wright
This is your life when you aren't an IRL racist and antisemite lmfao.
>Is there such a thing as a natural anti-depressant?
Sunlight, Red meat, and Racism.
It won't pass. It'll never end. You can try to distract yourself, you can pump yourself full of meds or drugs, and in the end you will still be an empty shell. Your soul is broke, son. Ain't no curing that.
>Your soul is broke, son. Ain't no curing that.
I'm giving my 6 years, and if nothing has changed I'm killing myself. At this point I even have my last month on earth planned out, should it come to that
I feel like kys(in Minecraft) isnt a good idea,try being a good person and keep in touch with family and friends a lot.
>Your soul is broke, son. Ain't no curing that.
>he doesn't know
This is a lie. Christ is your salvation. He won't mend your soul, cause it isn't broken. You just feel lost, and that's normal. Christ and God love you. They always will brother.
I know that this is a demoralization post in a thread populated by demoralizers, but when I realized this, it really brought me peace about my situation and life.
Depression in my life is like standing on the shoreline at the beach. Sometimes the tide is just at my ankles and I'm fine. Other times the water is up to my shoulders and I can barely keep my head above water. Sometimes I'm trapped in a rip current and I don't know which way is up. But I know it's never going to last forever. I know that I'm on the beach, so I don't even feel dread about the way the tide goes. It's just me, I'm not a freak for being underwater. It's just life. I'll be alright one day.
>Your soul is broke
I don't believe in soul. I believe in mind, though, and heard mental illness can be taken care of somehow.
>I don't believe in soul
we dont give a shit what you believe, it exists whether your brainwashed mind "believes" in it or not. Now pray to Jesus, go lift, and stop being a pussy...just a month of doing this will change your life
>Jesus
I don't care what you believe in, etc.
why no job? no school? neetdom is always gonna lead to depression my guy
nah im just talking about this weekend, i work part time about 20-25 hours and study and lift in the time im not working
>i work part time about 20-25 hours and study and lift in the time im not working
Anon for what it's worth coming from somebody else at the other end of an anime imageboard, it sounds like you are in a very good station in life. You're clearly pursuing some sort of existential goal even if you are not entirely certain what it is and that's saying a lot for people raised in this society today.
Speaking from the perspective of someone who has depression and has been suffering from it since they were roughly 13, it's fine to have absolutely shit periods of time where you feel you're just going "through the motions" because in reality you probably are. It's unlikely you or I will ever be fully "free" from depression in this lifetime, it's important to reflect that this is, as you said, an episode. Which means there is an end to it. Then you'll have a "meh" mediocre period. Then maybe another bad period. Then meh, then good for a while etc. etc. on the carousel of life
Also - again for what it's worth - the numbers you said are really damn good in my eyes. Hell I only recently started DEADLIFTING 142kg for reps, your squats sound unobtainable for me.
Chin up, you are never completely isolated in your feelings.
The thing is that I once was pretty close to suicide when i was around 17-18, I hated how i looked how i spoke how i was treated and I dropped out of college (UK college not university) and was neet for a while, eventually, things got so bad that i was forced to change, I got a job started taking care of myself, eating and lifting right, going out a little more. from that point on I vowed to myself to never go back to feeling like i did back then, and these episodes seem to be happening more frequently and lasting longer, despite being, frankly speaking in the best physical condition of my life with a clear and discernable path forward, I can't shake this feeling of total and utter misery. I feel like i've let myself down and it hurts having to explain to myself why.
>Chin up, you are never completely isolated in your feelings.
thank you, it helps to vent a little.
thank you, I know some of my friends are also wanting to give shrooms a go, ill try and set up a time and place for us.
what I did before was lift, get a job and eat healthily. I'm still doing all of the above.
I'll get those and see how I fare a few weeks in, thanks for the recommendation, and yeah as long as I can function on a daily basis without wanting to cave in and break into tears thats enough for me
>
Aren't you just relapsing? You seem to know what to do: you did it before. (You) #
>what I did before was lift, get a job and eat healthily. I'm still doing all of the above
Then there's something more to do. I don't know what, I'm struggling with NEETdom in my 40s, childhood trauma and dysfunctional family myself.
not him but I was not depressed when I thought someone liked me
Wait until you’re dumped and laid off at 36 with no kids. My birthday was yesterday and I wished for an EMP to go off
>about to lift this morning
>YouTube algorithm suggests some blackpilling content
>start getting depressed and anxious, like the gut wrenching kind
>remember why I lift
>watched this vid
>almost broke down watching it
>slapped my face, chugged my pre-work out
>had one of the best lifts of life
>Is there such a thing as a natural anti-depressant? I used to be on SSRIs and I felt like a walking zombie.
Walking around greenery, park, forest, etc.
They based recovery for actual soldiers from PTSD on how much their mood improved from taking walks.
>Walking around greenery, park, forest, etc.
Was going to say gym, walks and sun for me. The walks and hikes really helped - clear mind, sort things out
Sun and green outside are great
>They based recovery for actual soldiers from PTSD on how much their mood improved from taking walks
Did not know this
>be neet
>20s
>wow this is great playing video games every day and not having to listen to some middle manager gay tell me what to do
>eventually play every game that exists
>now 33
>new games do nothing
>hopelessly addicted to twitter upcummies
>masturbate literally all the time
>want to go to the gym but just dont
>On adderall so i eat nothing all day until dinner (when it wears off) then eat the house empty
>also on pristiq and deplin
I dont want employment but i cant live like this anymore. Its basically prison
I would give anything to just be not fat.
Just dont go drastic,ok you are 33 ,I would suggest a 2 year process to defuck yourself,start super slow,taking a tiny bit less meds,and doing a task a day,as small as it may seen , and slowly progress to being a real human by 35yo.
>process to defuck yourself
I really like the concept of taking time to defuck yourself. It's a long process but it's very achievable.
You can do it you dumb motherfucker, one step at a time.
>would give anything to not be fat
apparently not your time because you’re on here complaining instead of out doing cardio
As bad it might get, at least it ain't this.
Good luck anon.
Buckle up and go on a dopamine reset. I’m about 2 years in: gotten rid of vidya, tobacco, sugar, goyslop, porn, adderall (and other stims). All that’s left is caffeine, but I’m down to 400 mg/day. It is fucking insane how different my life is
Do tell, anon.
I was “employed”, but doing the bare minimum to not get fired, and even less in my personal life. During covid shutdown we went remote for 5 months, and I was doing about 30 minutes of work a day (at most), spiraled on vidya, porn, and adderall. While taking a break from warzone to beat off for the 3rd or 8th time, I was going downstairs to take another adderall and just felt everything jiggle on the stairs. My fucking calves jiggled.
I really just asked who I was going to be in 10 years if nothing changed, and seeing that person made me want to kill myself. After that I went balls deep on self improvement. Vidya was the first to go, replaced with online college, and the change it made to my mental state opened my eyes to how chemically dependent I was on so many things. I decided to become an unyielding fanatic in everything, nothing in moderation.
how do you occupy time if you are unemployed
There are hundreds of activities you can do if you live close to any moderately sized city. And even if you’re in the middle of nowhere there are a lot of outdoors activities and hobbies.
If you have no idea what you might like then go to IST, look at the catalog and pick out a few things to try out
buddy i have anxiety what the fuck kind of activities are we talking about
I went with hiking/camping, mountain biking, archery, climbing. And considering getting into boxing.
There is an almost endless list of things to do. Both solo and with other people
Also, I started taking care of feral cat colonies. Having some type of obligation is a the only way to start building productive habits. It gave me a very low intensity entry into social networking, which made it easier to start training BJJ, which made it easier to start teaching BJJ (which is another obligation and social network)
slow down
feral cat colonies?
Yah. Stray/lost cats can survive and breed outside, so they form colonies around safe areas. The goal is to neuter/spay the adults, get the kittens adopted while they’re young enough to be socialized to humans, feed them, and get them to low cost vet care.
This is cat cat. He was a normal cat until he was bitten by a radioactive cat, so now he roams the neighborhood fighting crime
damn son you got the toxoplasmosis so bad you are a literal slave to a cat feifdom
Toxoplasmosis = higher test and less fear
i will no longer listen to the cat recruiter man
Take the cat poop parasite pill anon
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31980266/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5994116/#Sec11title
Sometimes not cats
animal shelters and stuff like that seems to be a pretty common first step for people to overcome anxiety and get back into the real world
browse IST 12hrs/day
These are damn good posts. Keep it going anon
Definitely recommend the boxing or an mma gym. Worked great for me
>I would give anything to just be not fat
Have to make it a routine. Like other anons said, task a day, one step at a time
Every morning after waking and taking a dump go for at least a 30 min walk
Every afternoon go to gym for workout. Doesn't matter what program or routine you choose, just choose one you will do and is fun. It gives good proper dopamine rush
Fix diet over time. Don't have shit food in your house so when you binge it will at least be on something decent and not a 4L pail of ice cream
How long have you been on pristiq? It makes you fat. Maybe take some wellbutrin to counteract it. You don't have sexual side effect from pristiq i reckon?
been on it a long time does it really make you fat? im going to fucking kill my garden gnome doctor
ssri and snri have weightgain as the biggest side effect because it increases appetite for junkfood. Some say it fucks with your metabolism too but that's not for sure.
But if it helps you stay on it, getting off that stuff is a long and hard road.
Kek. This is basically me from 15-25. Video games are made by the devil, that shit is useless and sucks ur soul energy dry and turns you into a drone
I'm trying to recover the years I lost, pretty hard tho when you lived inside Vidya for 10 fucking years. I remember getting into the gym at 20 then gave up because I was a poorfag, still I am but can afford at least a member ship.
Who the fuck sponsors the lifestyle for these NEETS? if it is your parents, aren't they ashamed to have a 30yo with no future masturbating in his room like he is still 15?
If it's NEETbucks of the government, what kind of bs excuse did you give them to keep paying you after a decade of leaching?
i was born as a zoomer in gr**ce and i will basically have to be a slave all my life for what the boomers did
my mom is terminally ill and i have to spend all my money for her healthcare, as well as spend what would be of my free time in order to take care of her
i have no gf and no financial future
but i would still rather be dead than be you, thanks anon for letting me know it can be worse
>i would literally give anything to not bet fat, anything at all!!!!!! please god give me chance! i'll do anything!
>ok, stop eating
>no lol
please have a nice day, you're worthless
You'd do anything. Then do anything retard. Nobody is going to pity you here. Don't say you'd do anything when you clearly won't. Lying to yourself is much worse then lying to us. We don't matter.
>I would give anything to just be not fat.
except for doing some exercise and eating less food LMAO
Depression ain't real.
You're just lazy and/or bored.
The biggest diseases are those of the mind,if your brain decided its time to die you would die instantly.
BABY I BEEN THERE BEFORE
I WAS AT THE POINT WHERE ALL I REALLY WANTED WAS SOMEONE,
AND NOW I’M STILL HANGIN ON,
I WAS AT THE END OF EVERY TETHER WAAITIN FOR
WHAT ONCE WAS…
I love this song like you wouldn't believe anon
sunlight, sex, hugs, kind words from others
These are the side effects of modernity and living in a fucked up uncivil society run by fucked up people who fuck the rest of us over in every way possible in order to secure their stranglehold on what they perceive as power.
That being said, you can still live a good life if you can manage to control you perceptions and accept reality, all the while doing what you can to make it better for yourself. Sometimes it feels impossible but it isn’t.
>I used to be on SSRIs
Aren't you just relapsing? You seem to know what to do: you did it before.
You could try combining 500mg DLPA with 600mg St Johns wort. Both can be ordered on amazon. Just make sure you dont combine them with other antidepressants because then you’d risk getting serotonin syndrome.
This combo functions sort of like an SSRI without the negative sides. And as with regular antidepressants, they are not a permanent solution. It’s something you take to keep you functional while you get your shit together so that you can be happy without any meds
Also, I saw a lot of people recommend shrooms. You dont want to combine these two with shrooms either, for the same reason you dont combine SSRIs and shrooms
>for the same reason you dont combine SSRIs and shrooms
And why is that?
Risk of serotonin syndrome. Not very high but it’s there. Too much serotonin can fuck you up
I'll wait to be off the med to try it, then. Thanks.
I struggled with depression for a very long time and ended up beating it on my own with prayer/meditation/taking self assessment
But i fucking wish i just put my ego away for long enough to get help instead. Hell im thinking about seeing someone just to make sure it doesnt come back
Ounce of prevention
Pound of cure
And all that jazz
People have already suggested it but I'll just add it again for emphasis
Try shrooms. They are probably the most potent anti-depressive substance on earth. It's like a complete psychological reset for me. I try and take at least one good trip each year and it always produces a profoundly positive impact on my mood that persists for weeks after. They are truly wonderful.
What if it makes u worse
You get the trip you need, not the one you want. It won't make you worse. If it feels like it's making you worse, then you need to self destruct before you can rebuild.
You are retarded if you want to try ketamine before mushrooms. Or gay. Ketamine is for homosexual furries.
Not OP but i'm afraid it will unlock schizophrenia or something that will permanentely disable me.
I think i will try ketamine one day tho in a controlled medical setting.
>30 years old and have accomplished literally nothing in my life where people wouldn't even believe how pathetic my life is
>been in a depression so severe throughout my 20s that most people probably couldn't even comprehend it but never did anything about it. not like i couldnt get out of bed or anything, but basically just "content" to do the absolute bare minimum of existence going day to day
>at this point i don't even see the point in trying to fix anything because what's the point when you have a lifetime completely devoid of any happy experiences, not a single solitary memory to look back on in your entire life and remember it fondly
>never even tried to use any substances like people ITT talk about to help depression (alcohol, weed, mushrooms, anti-depressant SSRIS, etc), have just lived all these miserable years completely sober
whats even the point anymore? i read a story about a guy 20 years ago who created his own guillotine and used it to decapitate himself once night while he slept. that guy is a genius. i wish i could get my parent to put a pillow over my face at 3 am and suffocate me
You are self aware to your struggle yet do nothing to improve your situation. You are self aware enough to complain about not trying mushrooms. Just fucking do it once and it will make it so much easier to do again. There is no saviour, nobody can help you except for yourself. Just do it or perish.
Do you work or are you a neet? Go to a psychiatrist and get medication or fix your diet meditate and fast for 7 days.
If you don't work get a job, anywhere everywhere or even volunteer for something like an animal shelter or soup kitchen. You don't need to do this everyday just once a week or once every other week. Work yourself up on becoming a normal respectable human being. You still have a whole lot of life before you. The time to plant a tree is always now anon.
carnivore diet is worth a try
if you’ve done that and still need more help try psilocybin mushrooms
heroic dose is the real ticket but micro dosing can get you by
Dopamine fasting.
Stop consuming the things that feel good.
Get rid of comfort foods. Get rid of electronic devices. Sleep on the floor. Cold showers. Go out on minimalistic camping trips. Etc.
Basically return to monke.
Is this legit? it seems impossible to disconnect living in a city especially when my work in the literal city centre and my studies are mostly online
Well it'll be much harder obviously. But for example you can use a $50 chink smartphone instead of a nice laptop so it'll be a bit less pleasant to spend time on the Internet.
If you need a laptop you can take out the wifi card and get rid of your ethernet cables so you can't connect it to the Internet. Etc.
Where there's a will there's a way.
natural anti-depressant is probably sunlight honestly. just keep doing what you are doing and try not to think about it too much.
go to Church
its taken me nearly two years to return to a "baseline" feeling of neither after my mother died. Healing takes time and is a thorough process. I wish you all the best of luck and the swiftest of recoveries.
all you gotta do is realise that time keeps moving forward at a rate of exactly 1 second per second and you just gotta wait it out.
i have some really bad weeks and when i do i just give up and wait it out and eventually things get better. depression isn't a choice, you can't fight your way out of it. if you have episodic depression then just wait for the episode to be over.
you gotta strike while the iron is hot. but if the iron is cold then you're wasting your time, so don't burn yourself out. or something. the analogy got away from me.
Wrong. When you're feeling down is when you need to push yourself the most to keep your life on track. That's the difference between motivation and discipline.
>when you have no motivation that's the time that you have to just pull some out of your asshole like it's magic
quiet retard. setting yourself impossible goals only leads to failure.
most normal people are useless shitbags most of the time and if you've got depression you're even less capable than that lmao. don't aim for outshooting the stars. just aim for staying alive. once you're no longer considering flinging yourself from a bridge you can start to work on things like taking regular showers.
set small goals and win little victories. eventually it adds up.
>people mentioned meditation to cope
>it made it worse by making you mindful of your life
Fuck you, fags.
Daily reminder that winter depression from lack of vitamin D is very common
Take your supplements IST
Find God.
Yes bask in the lie of a sinister cult that will do it
im an atheist but christianity is about as far removed from sinister as can be. its kind of embarrasing at times.
You're depressed due to unhealed psychological trauma, most often from childhood experiences. The depressive episodes flare up as your neurons replay patterns that caused you negative emotion in the past.
You can fix this by handlihrng the undigested ball of trauma in your subconscious through introspection and thought, guided meditation or therapy. I did this personally through active introspection and writing after studying Dr Alok Kanojia's youtube series on these undigested emotions, called 'samscara' in the Eastern Sanskrit/Buddhist tradition.
I have not had a depressive episode in more than four years, and point to this as the number one causative factor, as medication, diet, exercise and social/financial/physical achievements did not suffice.
Unless you do the work to confront your inner, hidden traumas, you will continue to suffer until you die.
Dr. Kanojia (Dr. K)'s youtube channel is HealthyGamerGG, as he focuses on the mental health of young people avoiding their trauma through escapism like video game addiction. I HEAVILY recommend you watch at least one video if you want to help yourself, or bookmark/subscribe for when your episode passes and you have more motivation. Pick whichever title you feel like adapts to your situation, although I learned the most from his interviews with streamers I didn't know or care about. Learning about them and seeing how their issues presented and mirrored my own made me less judgemental and more empathetic, as well as helped me confront and fix my own issues.
I cannot descibe to you the joy and comfort in knowing that depression will not swoop in from the heavens to unman me, rob me of motivation and progression towards my goals, and damage my life's work and relationships. This is the most important thing I ever did for myself.
What's up with so many people being unable to practice introspection without ending up in a cult of personality around some guru grifter (usually a pajeet)?
Everyone knows introspection to deal with trauma is the way to go, but ending up in some weird internet cult is taking it too far. I can imagine these guru grifters are top notch sociopaths who know how to push the buttons of people who are emotionally vulnerable
Pussy
Hey op I'm in the same boat of working and studying, and I have found that being pulled in all directions all the time causes this for me.
Do you always have stuff on your mind? Worrying about uni when at work? Worrying about work when your at uni? Trying to enjoy your workout or down time but feeling guilty about not working or studying?
First you need to go to a functional medicine practice and rule out endocrine dysfunction/vitamin deficiencies/allergies/autoimmune/etc.
Then, the big things to resolve depression are two months of consistent
>anal sleepmaxing (plenty of guides on this)
>complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol
>5+ hours of at least moderate-intensity cardio per week
>Compound barbell lifts 3x/wk
>getting 10 min of sun on as much of your skin as possible first thing upon waking for circadian regulation and nitrous oxide production and another 10 min at solar noon (noon exposure may vary for lattitudecels and heckin brownerinos, plenty of vitamin D/UVB exposure calculators exist)
>having daily meaningful interaction with SOMEONE (literally anyone, even your senile granny) you give a shit about in the form of face-to-face or verbal communication
Hey man. These are really good numbers. Sometimes our progress is slowed due to external shit, but the main thing is to keep internal progress going. It's all in the fucking mindset. Lifts will go up and down, but your resolve should always stay the on point.
The best anti-depressant is to go easy on yourself and understand that with time, and effort you will recover and become stronger than before.
Do not give up
improve your metabolism by reading Ray Peat, definelty don't take serotonin boosting drugs, serotonin reduces brain atp drastically, after reading Ray Peat experiement with dopaminergic and anti serotonin drugs like bromocryptine, lsd, cyproheptadine
this is the only actually usefull advice in this entire thread of pseud gays, exluding the Christ poster
take the happy diet pill. there are lots of foods that will raise your happiness. i eat 99% cacao chocolte daily for example, but there are many more based foods out there.