How are you doing with women?

How are you doing with women, IST?

Your dating life has changed since you became more muscular, right?

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I’m on a 4 year dry spell. 29 year old virgin. Haven’t been touched, held, kissed, or complemented by a girl in 4 years. Currently leanmaxxing. Started at 182 lbs and sitting at 178 lbs. My goal is 170 lbs. I decided to get lean so I could finally get laid. But as I’m doing this I realized I just don’t care about girls anymore. All I want is to lift, play guitar, read fantasy novels, and fall asleep on my couch under a blanket after work. I feel invisible to girls irl and I’m ignored on all dating apps too. I doubt losing an extra 10-12 lbs will do much. Once I get laid I’ll still be tired and depressed I think.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      If you're a virgin, wouldn't you be on a 29 year dry spell?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Women can sniff out depression and avoid it like the plague. Because that would mean they have to give time and attention to you instead of the other way around. Needy b***hes.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >4 year dry spell
      >29 year old virgin
      What did he mean by this?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Relatable
      28, haven’t been laid in 2 years, and before that was another gap of 4 years. Started the year at 190 lbs and I’m trying to cut down to 170 by June because I want to have good abs for the summer.

      Quit all my dating apps a while ago because it was just a depressing experience. Nothing more than a constant reminder that there were zero quality women interested in dating me. These days I’m working full time and doing an MBA program which helps distract me from my loneliness and lack of success in attracting women. Plus when I finish I’ll hopefully get a higher paying job, which is never a bad thing.

      Looking forward to getting lean again. The strength and size gains you get when bulking are fun but I really dislike feeling doughy and losing definition.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Live your life the way you want to, don't go over thinking getting sexed is going to solve anything. If not caring about girls make you happy, all good.
      Conversely, sounds to me you crave human connection, which has nothing to do with sex. Good connection leads to good, rewarding sex.
      Also, speaking about girls at 29yo is a rexipe for disaster. You want women, not barely functioning adult morons. Way harder to come by but way better down the road.
      Godspeed anon, I'll be rooting for you

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    At first yes, it seems to make bawds easier to get and good girls harder to get

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >good girls harder to get
      There are no good girls, they would become Chad’s plaything if they got the opportunity.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >There are no good girls, they would become Chad’s plaything if they got the opportunity.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I'm scared of them and it's my mom's fault.
    I have sex with men, so it's not a hindrance in that regard, but it's still not a good position to be in psychologically speaking and eventually I need to come to peace with women.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I'm thinking of just taking the ECA stack as a pre work out. cheeper by far.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Been married for 7 years now, we have a 4-month-old son.
    Lifting helped offset my severe autism in the beginning but now I've taught myself to be more confident I mostly lift to be a role model for my son.

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    > women unironically starts talking to me more often, even ones I have never seen just say hi when walking by
    I first thought they where talking on the phone via the earpods and I ignored it. I'm going for ottermode this summer, want to see how far I can push this meme

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    How do I stop being an Incel? I’m 20, 5’7 a bit fat at ~175lbs and around 5/10 face, but a bit of muscle too. I’m really quiet most of the time in a social setting but I try to go out whenever I can really. Dating apps and stuff don’t work for me. I don’t know how to cold approach either

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Realize that physique is like 2% of attraction, face and height are like 8%. The other 90% is your behavior.

      Things like physique or a good jawline are attractive because they communicate that you developed well and have a masculine hormone profile which will drive your behavior to achieve, to provide, to protect, etc. Masculine shit.

      If you can just display that you are a high- value man through your behavior, your mannerisms, your posture and the like, you'll circumvent the need for a great physique and bone structure.

      That said you should still lift heavy compounds. It'll make you hungrier, hornier, make you sleep better, and put a little more spring in your step.

      They say humor is one of the most attractive things to women. It displays social awareness, intelligence, and that you're not taking things to seriously. Ngl women like tall guys, muscular guys, and handsome faces, but it's just not the whole story.

      Learn to dress well, perform basic hygiene and skincare, become more confident (develop a higher regard for yourself, and forgive yourself for your faults. Do that for everyone actually, it's basic maturity), be good at small talk, make more friends, engage in hobbies, get comfortable flirting. Basically, be someone cool who's life women want to be invited into. Notice, none of that is related to getting fit.

      You should still get fit, but it's only a tiny piece of the pie. Btw there's hope for everyone. It took me a year or 2 of dedicated learning social skills and confidence and talking to strangers after I got sober, and then another year or 2 of learning to apply it. I had sex once at 22, then again at 23, then got a girlfriend, and then we broke up and I fricked 10 chicks. During the whole time I was doing calisthenics and weights and I highly recommend some basic fitness.

      Tldr getting fit is only one small component of becoming competent socially/in dating. Do it but understand it is not the most important thing you should prioritize.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        28 years old. Was fat as a kid, got fit and sexy at 16-17, had no idea what to do with it and didn't get laid until I was 19 lol. Got fat again in my 20s.

        As I've gotten leaner again over the last year, I'm getting more mires and flirting from women in general, which is nice, but the increased attention from my friends' girlfriends, fiances, wives, and even moms is getting awkward. There's friendly flirting where she just wants me to know I look good, that's nice, and then there's moments that seem like genuine interest...

        I have a frickbuddy, this willowy black chick. And I've gone on a couple dates with a cute Ecuadorian girl who I fricked last night for the first time, hope she messages me and I didn't push her too hard. Overall yeah, the difference in attention, validation, and sex is extreme. There's also this girl who's a friend of my ex (who I'm friends with) who has a crush on me. She's tall, leggy, smart, and very kind, but I have no idea how to make a move on her without causing a ton of drama. And she's kinda too good for me.

        Making actual female friends is a game changer. Very difficult but having 1 or 2 genuine (cute) female friends opens a lot of opportunities

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          How do you get female friends?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            What's worked for me is making friends with girlfriends of my male friends. You just, you know, keep your dick in your pants and bond over shit like music, video games, whatever media. And then shared experiences like nights out, concerts, parties, trips, etc.

            Easier said than done though. Most female "friends" I've had in life have been girls with crushes on me putting themselves in the friendzone.

            What exactly changes when you have female friends?
            I have 4 close female friends and I truly enjoy their company but what exactly does it change?

            Well it's a bit dumb to put it this way but networking is a big plus. Cute girls tend to be friends with cute girls, and some of those friends are going to be single and horny...

            Just going out with your female friends gives you social proof/approval though. The difference between going out as you and a pack of dudes vs. you with your female friends, women will take note that you're surrounded by girls.

            Put it this way, a couple times I've been waiting in line at a concert like Odesza with my friend and his girlfriend, and a random cute girl will come up to the group, engage the girlfriend and make friends with her to get into the group, then make the rounds talking to the single guys.

            tl;dr makes you look less like a creep and more like a cool guy to women

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Ah I see. It seems it kind of comes down to society you live in.
              Here in Estonia the random chitchat doesn't really happen. We need to be drunk to engage in that. This dude gives surprisingly good overview of us https://youtu.be/_IJSzHPhiiM

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Fair enough, as an Am*rican I can only speak from my own experience. I will say though, cultures are different but women are women everywhere.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Having said that, Americans drink a lot as an excuse and social lubricant, and it's way easier to meet people in those environments. Concerts, bars, parties, etc.

                23 now and I think I know where I fricked up.
                Basically from the 12 years I spent in school I finally downloaded Snap/Messenger in the final year. Several girls asked throughout the years what's my Snap/Messenger name. Always gave some meme answer.
                Should have used social media earlier but I truly did dislike it and to be honest I still do.

                Snap is key (especially if you're on dating apps but even if not). Get the frick on that. For me, I would never want to type out some well thought out text message when I could just send a girl a snap of me or my cat or whatever I'm eating lol. It lowers the effort to flirt tremendously.
                You snap them your face, if they like it you snap them your body post-workout

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          What exactly changes when you have female friends?
          I have 4 close female friends and I truly enjoy their company but what exactly does it change?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I'm

      Realize that physique is like 2% of attraction, face and height are like 8%. The other 90% is your behavior.

      Things like physique or a good jawline are attractive because they communicate that you developed well and have a masculine hormone profile which will drive your behavior to achieve, to provide, to protect, etc. Masculine shit.

      If you can just display that you are a high- value man through your behavior, your mannerisms, your posture and the like, you'll circumvent the need for a great physique and bone structure.

      That said you should still lift heavy compounds. It'll make you hungrier, hornier, make you sleep better, and put a little more spring in your step.

      They say humor is one of the most attractive things to women. It displays social awareness, intelligence, and that you're not taking things to seriously. Ngl women like tall guys, muscular guys, and handsome faces, but it's just not the whole story.

      Learn to dress well, perform basic hygiene and skincare, become more confident (develop a higher regard for yourself, and forgive yourself for your faults. Do that for everyone actually, it's basic maturity), be good at small talk, make more friends, engage in hobbies, get comfortable flirting. Basically, be someone cool who's life women want to be invited into. Notice, none of that is related to getting fit.

      You should still get fit, but it's only a tiny piece of the pie. Btw there's hope for everyone. It took me a year or 2 of dedicated learning social skills and confidence and talking to strangers after I got sober, and then another year or 2 of learning to apply it. I had sex once at 22, then again at 23, then got a girlfriend, and then we broke up and I fricked 10 chicks. During the whole time I was doing calisthenics and weights and I highly recommend some basic fitness.

      Tldr getting fit is only one small component of becoming competent socially/in dating. Do it but understand it is not the most important thing you should prioritize.

      Not sure if this applies to you too but I'm pretty introverted. I can be social but I only have so much fuel and then I nees to recharge. And it doesn't matter, you don't have to always be talking or the center of attention to be attractive. Being confident and okay with the fact that you don't have all eyes on you all the time is how you wanna be.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I wrote this down for a thread on how to ask a girl out at the gym then it got deleted. Should work if you're at least marginally attractive

    >hey I see you here all the time, what's your name
    >"it's Y, whats yours"
    >names X
    >you know I gotta say you're like the only girl here who knows what they are doing
    >I like that about you
    >"tehe thank you" *blush blush*
    >you know if you're not busy after we should grab a fruit shake. They got this good spot right next door, I'll buy
    (There's always a nutrition fruit smoothie store by the gym)
    >"omg I've always wanted to go there"
    >Yeah their strawberry banana tastes just like the Starburst (everybody loves the pink starburst)
    >"ok sure, I'll go with you"
    >perfect, I got about 3 more exercises left. Let's go in about an hour
    >"ok"
    >*put fist out for fist bump*
    >*bump fists explode*
    >flex a cep
    >leave while saying "better kill your workout Y"
    >look at her in the mirror, not too much and not too long. If your eyes meet again do something playful and funny like pretend struggle a rep

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >mfw someone here will actually try this

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        It's not that bad. I went through several test simulations in my head and found the probability of success higher than any other approach.
        You have a better chance of success if you are naturally working out close to her due to proximity of equipment. The further you have to walk to initiate the conversation the less chance of success you have.
        You also have a better chance the more confidently you can say "I like that about you". As long as you nail that phrase your success chance goes up 30% on average. If you're going to spill your spaghetti, hold it in until the end. Once you get the ok for the date be as awkward as you want.
        You can also replace fruit smoothie with chipotle/starbucks. Chick's on average love Chipotle and starbucks more than any other fast food.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      the most autistic thing about this is the fact you wrote it out. If you do this irl without spilling spaghetti its pretty likely to work, but most people here are way too spastic to get past "we should grab a fruit shake"

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      w-would having it written on my phone be ok so I can not skip a step while I do it ? Like writing it on paper would make it obvious but if I have it on my phone I can just look nonchalant and pretend I'm looking at something normal

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      this sounds akward as hell, dont ask her out and be in the same room as her for a whole ass hour just killing time before yall go out

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I get plenty of attention from women, can't form relationships that last much longer than two weeks though because I'm still autistic.

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    it became worse unironically

    back in uni I was 19yo, broke, lifted but was very poor so no good diet aka no good gains, I recall vividly that my weight was 77kg @ 180cm and my arms were very small. I fricked two uni girls which is still pathetically low but hey its something, also aside from these a few others demonstrated interest but i didnt act on it because tism, if I had you could bump this number to maybe 4 or 5

    fast forward to today, 24, good paying job earning above 80% or so of population, can afford to eat meat and only meat, weigh 84kg as of yesterday. I dress good because I can afford to do so and I've never been better, but since uni women won't even talk to me, I'm literally invisible, people (men) will comment on body and ask for tips and shit at the workplace but that's it

    I don't know why that is, don't ask, but that's my honest feedback to you, enough time goes by and you stop caring about this stuff

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I sometimes catch girls looking at me, tho my big problem is that I'm basically anti-social and very introverted. I actually feel like I'm decently good-looking but I simply don't conversate with anyone.

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Girls only ever compliment my face, online not irl.
    Trying to get the courage to visit an escort in a place I’ve never been before, but feeling too nervous.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I jave a gf that I hate and the girl I actually like has a bf

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Yea ive had a lot of sex contact with women lately... idk what happened honestly but yea thats kinda i guess... But i lift for more than 5 years and only in the last 2 months ive started having sex, kissing and interacting with women a lot... Also i had sex yesterday and probably will have sex with different woman on friday

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Also i get called attractive a lot even though iam bulked up and objectively look worse than i did in summer when i got no pussy... I guess that kinda proves that you can go your whole life thinking youre subhuman if you dont interact with women(ideally in setting where alcohol is involved)...

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I'm 27 and I've never being touched by a girl.
    I started working out when I was 13-14 with bodyweight.
    At 19 yo, I went to an actual gym for the first time.
    I have terrible genetics and can't even bench 2 plates as a 5' 10', 165 lbs male.

    I've failed in both ends.
    Lifting didn't change my life at all. I was a pathetic roach before, and still am today after 10 + years.
    GENETICS IS EVRYTHING. Can't break free from the limits that nature put on you.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      This is just more demoralization propaganda, don't listen to it.

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Women don’t know I exist. How get women to know I exist?

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I'm scared of talking with them; I'm worried if I go up and talk to any I'll get laughed at or get treated with disgust.

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I have neither gain any significant muscles nor improved my non-existent dating life. So I'm afraid I can't help you.

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Bad
    Im doing pretty bad

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      that about sums it up

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    > How are you doing with women, IST?
    Ain’t shit , I saw some attractive girls today on the bus talking some language I don’t even fricking know not gonna lie and some girl talking on the phone like “Who the frick told you I can’t be your wife?” LMAO , I don’t know I ain’t shit basically , I don’t know shut about women and I don’t know who to approach to be honest , and I don’t wanna message girls because some reasons I won’t discuss.

    > Your dating life has changed since you became more muscular, right?
    Overall it didn’t affect much but it’s like +5% Bonus I would say tho.

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Self employed so the only women I see are at the gym. Its frustrating. Might just try dating apps, but it feels like giving in.

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly didn’t change much. Some compliments here and there plus more attention from older women when bulked up. That’s it.

    It really is all about status.

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    No, mine and most of your problems are in the brain

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    i didn't listen when they told me that you can't lift the autism away so now i'm fit and spend my days gaming

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    wrong

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I've only just entered into being able to tell I lift territory recently. I set up a tinder with some older pics where I'm looking more skelly, I didn't want to look for matches just wanted to see what was out there, every once In a while it gives you the secret admirer, I've been genuinely surprised with the standard of women that are swiping right to me, considering I dont think I look good in my pics.

    If my mind can be convinced that I look good then I might start having some success

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    yes, i was in college 2002 - 2007, took roids, instant pussy in my face. They just swarm to it. Who knows about these b***hes these days.

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    23 now and I think I know where I fricked up.
    Basically from the 12 years I spent in school I finally downloaded Snap/Messenger in the final year. Several girls asked throughout the years what's my Snap/Messenger name. Always gave some meme answer.
    Should have used social media earlier but I truly did dislike it and to be honest I still do.

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I have been doing noFap and leanmaxxing since new year and women have been approaching me more often lately

    Still a virgin tho, but I see hope

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >lift before long term gf
    >don't lift at all while in 8+ years relationship
    >snub many opportunities with better girls along the way
    >sleep with some of them though, pretty sure gf did the same
    >relationship ends
    >start lifting again
    only thing that sucks tbh is the period of my life where you naturally meet other girls at your age and stage is over, I am either going to have to settle with 30 year olds on dating apps, or join a fricking yoga or dance class idk

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >the period of my life where you naturally meet other girls
      the what ?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        school then university

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I'm happy i live with my gf and we spend almost all of our time together.

  33. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    My dating life was non existent then and it's still non existent now. Main difference is that random women I encounter are more positive/happy initially since I'm not a fat loser. I've basically given up on caring about other people, it's too much effort that I don't care to expend. I'd rather care for my cat and future plants I'm gonna start growing once the final spring frost comes around

  34. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Have been watching Ghibli movies a lot now.
    Last ones were From Up on Poppy Hill and Whisper of the Heart.
    I would have really liked relationships like that, I really would.

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