How do I become masculine with no present/past father figure?

I was raised by my mother and my sisters and because of that I never got to know how to be a real man. I find it hard to make male friends but I can have girl friends easily, and they would never see me as a romantic partner and it kills me.

I know it's pathetic to open up here and none of you care about some random but I'm so fucking sick of it I can't even sleep any more. I want to change so fucking bad.

Also, since this is a fitness board how do I gain muscle and lose fat?

  1. 1 month ago

    Put yourself into difficult situations willingly
    It sucks but it works

  2. 1 month ago

    kill a few pimps

  3. 1 month ago

    No More Mr. Nice Guy is for you.
    But in the end you have to stop looking for guidance/a father figure and become a self-reliant and responsible adult on your own. Nobody's coming to save you.

    • 1 month ago

      Read everything in the side bar r/TheRedPill/


      >No More Mr. Nice Guy is for you.

    • 1 month ago

      >Nobody's coming to save you
      most important thing to realise OP, the world is against you (and that's ok)
      no one cares if you fuck up your life, no one cares if you get addicted to this or that
      you need to be self motivated, set a goal and go for it.
      don't compromise, don't worry what others will think. don't worry about if your good enough. don't seek validation from others.
      become an unrelenting force for good in your own life and the lives of those you care for, then you will truly be a man.

      • 1 month ago

        Good post. It’s quite a liberating thing I think, the fact there is no all knowing person to come help you means you can do whatever you want.

      • 1 month ago

        >don't seek validation from others
        to add onto this, rather than seek validation/approval from others, be the person that provides it. people will probably follow someone who is brave but will definitely follow someone who acknowledges the bravery of others too.

    • 1 month ago

      not op, but i read that book and honestly didn't understand why everybody hypes it so much.

      It's about the relationship and marriage problems of middle-aged men. I'm a 20-something khv. What parts of this book are supposed to speak to me and tell me anything?

  4. 1 month ago

    Some men, like you, are more feminine than normal. You should just accept it.

  5. 1 month ago

    Start a hobby with lots of guys there. Make team effort.

    • 1 month ago

      Gay orgy?

  6. 1 month ago

    • 1 month ago

      He didn't ask for tips on becoming a beta

  7. 1 month ago

    Find a mentor that is not a gay.

  8. 1 month ago

    When I have a rest day, I like to sit in my local park and when a child comes near ill just say a couple of encouraging phrases to them. I do this because there are far too many fatherless homes out there now. I know I'll never be a father myself but I can still try to help some children this way.

    • 1 month ago

      >When I have a rest day, I like to sit in my local park and when a child comes near ill just say a couple of encouraging phrases to them

      >"LET'S GET BIG, C'MON!!"

  9. 1 month ago

    It happened the opposite to me
    Being an alpha male made many people respect me
    But my life is kinda empty without girls around me
    I want to get off the train
    Life is hell
    >t. 18yo self improoover

  10. 1 month ago

    find a mentor, even if its a one sided stream (beware scammers). introspect. meet with men and build each other, as its a common problem of our time. teach where you can, so you grow on your own lessons. be physical and genuine.

    and if your father is demasculated, help him save himself so you can grow.

    ignore performative masculinity, go for true functional masculinity: protection, providing, physical, will to necessity, exploration, teaching about the world, stoic in hardship, goofy in routine.

  11. 1 month ago

    get a constructive hobby where you build things.
    get into mildly competitive social things like an esport
    set a goal for yourself in what you want to learn or accomplish
    a mentor or teacher/guru will come naturally in these situations.
    realize men and women are biologically and mentally different.

  12. 1 month ago

    what movie is that?

    • 1 month ago

      taxi driver 1976.
      everyone who's seen it as a male in high school will have had it as their favorite movie back then.

    • 1 month ago

      Taxi driver, it's about masculinity in the modern world, crippling solidarity and overcoming war trauma. One of the best character studies in film history.

  13. 1 month ago

    there are plenty of men with similar backgrounds
    I find myself to get along with other men who grew up without a father or father figure far better than with your average happy-childhood-guy

    these guys tend to be a more gloomy from time to time, but also more profound and serious
    the older ones including me developed some parternal characteristics to balance the lack of paternal care in our childhood and youth and tend to be quite caring
    we also tend to find ourselves in leadership or instructor positions quite often and we are far from being incels since there are plenty of women digging the dad-vibes we give off
    we put more thought into our relationships and I don't know of any hookup shit going on with the guys, but we all have stable relationships behind us even if only one is currently in an active one

    stop being a sad cunt thinking you are unique and stop identifying with your hardships

    and since this is a fitness board: all of the guys I talk about have been at some point or currently are lifting like me
    one of the guys I do swimming with twice a week
    go do some sports and be a regular at some place
    start talking to people and doing your thing and you will see things fall into place

    • 1 month ago

      how do you get over fixating over the past and being cripplingly mindful of what you missed out on?

      • 1 month ago

        Forgive yourself for missing out on them. By dwelling on the past you hesitate on your future

      • 1 month ago

        you don't
        this shit will keep surfacing from time to time or affect your thinking

        but you just asked how to get over it, because you don't want this? right?
        you already know damn well, that you don't want to let your hardships define yourself and this is the first step

        maybe there is some point in the future, where you get over it, but I havent reached that yet either
        but I got better at refocusing over the years
        it does get better if you keep reminding yourself, that this is NOT what you want
        you do not want to be a gloomy piece of shit who can't enjoy things
        remind yourself, until you get angry because your retarded brain keeps bringing up your trauma instead of some dopamine candy

        also start listening to other peoples troubles
        preferably people you like or admire and you suddenly realize, that there are great people out there with similar hardships
        then your monkey brain starts to make connections like
        >wait, you don't have to be an ugly miserable shit, just because you have seen some shit
        >that guy is great and he had an absent father as well
        >shit, maybe I ain't that much of a wreck after all

        blabla fitness
        fuck current meat prices
        I honest to god can no longer rationalize buying any fucking meat at current prices in Germany

        • 1 month ago

          Should have won the war kraut blame your ancestors

        • 1 month ago

          Yeah just spent 10 euro something for a kg of hanchenbrust and I wanna off myself

  14. 1 month ago

    >they would never see me as a romantic partner and it kills me.
    lmao if you didnt lesrn how to manipulate women growing up like that idk what went wrong with you

  15. 1 month ago

    >they would never see me as a romantic partner and it kills me
    >since this is a fitness board how do I gain muscle and lose fat?
    Problem 1 will be solved when you start working on problem 2. Read the sticky

  16. 1 month ago

    >romantic partners
    Just ignore women who you're friends with, like don't text them for days, don't give attention unless you're meeting up or something, make them chase you. You can still initiate like asking if they wanna hang out or something but wait time. The more you chase women the less you get them, it sucks but that's how it is.

  17. 1 month ago

    Inject test in your bussy

  18. 1 month ago

    The only thing that matters is to stand up when you know you should. Apply that to everything in life, and you'll be as masculine as you need to be. Everything else is just larp and cope.

  19. 1 month ago

    Unironically start watching Sam Hyde's life advice. He speaks to the sperg.

  20. 1 month ago

    Just remember in your quest for knowledge and direction that all the information is worthless without action.
    You can spend thousands of hours on books, podcasts, videos and so on, and it won't matter one bit unless you actually DO things.

  21. 1 month ago

    Join a rugby team. Worked for me.

  22. 1 month ago

    >listen to Jordan Peterson/ Jocko Willink types (unironically)
    >read historical books written by men who went through unimaginable hardships
    >get into guns
    >if youre unemployed, get a trades job, will make a man out of you quick
    >if not, get into DIY shit
    >dont take women seriously
    >go outside and learn bushcraft

    Pretty much avoid comfort. Youre already on the right track as you have identified it as being an issue. My good friend is exactly where you are and it kills me. He leans into it and thinks its quirky that he couldnt even operate a screw driver if need be. His gf is more manly than him.

    • 1 month ago

      me in the back

    • 1 month ago

      to Jordan Peterson/ Jocko Willink types (unironically)
      Wtf, ignore this advice giving s.o.y gay anon

      • 1 month ago

        refute their adivces you gay. Oh you cant, you just irrationally hate them because some liberal antifa types on reddit say so.

  23. 1 month ago

    start a hobby, get laid with a milf, find a teenager later.

  24. 1 month ago

    Just bee yourself anon

  25. 1 month ago

    Watch Connery Bond movies.
    Go to Thailand and bust in a dozen girls in a week, so you can get the fuck over your neurosis about sex.
    Lift weights to gain muscle
    Running, cycling, or whatever cardio you like to lose fat.

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