What can I do to be more physical with people? For some reason I can stand touch, but I think if I could stand to touch and be touched then I would unlock a new level of spacial awareness like a ninja or something.
What can I do to be more physical with people? For some reason I can stand touch, but I think if I could stand to touch and be touched then I would unlock a new level of spacial awareness like a ninja or something.
Great idea asking a place full of incel woman hating neets
not all are incels though, some frick trannies and men
obsessed
Got you to respond, didn't it?
So, apropos of nothing, I'm gonna continue dancepoasting
DID YOU KNOW that dancing is a reliable way to get most kinds of poon? We got young pale art hoes, THICC joocy latinas, Khazar milkers, severe (and severely underfricked) pantsuit girlbosses, MILFs of every size and shape, you name it - we got it. Not that it should be your primary consideration, but you're already lifting for female attention, as counterintuitive as it is, so why not actually go and touch females?
What do you hate about physical contact? Does intimacy scare you?
just seems extremely foreign and i have the delusion that people are degenerates so I don’t like them touching me. they remind me of dark eldar from 40k
You’re autistic. The only cure is 5 grams of psychedelic mushrooms. Don’t have a nice day though
Why the frick would you say that? Don't lie and mislead this moronic kid. Killing himself will totally fix the problem.
kek that’s an insane thought that I might actually be moronic. that’s okay but i still wanna know how to be more physical
like how you face any irrational moronic fear.
exposure therapy. just fricking get over it. you already recognize you have a problem. start with handshakes or something small and ease yourself into dapping up the bros at the gym. quit being a fricking homosexual its not that serious
handshakes and daps are easy. they don’t require any intimacy. but anything beyond that like hugs and caressing makes me cringe. I get your point though i just have to get over it thanks
Practice with women you don't give a shit about or hire an escort. Been in a similar situation in ny late teens and early twenties It's all about taking the first step and getting used to it.
I think you mean all space elves are degenerate.
women will touch my arms or back sometimes so I can’t be a complete uggo monster but I simply can’t imagine myself touching a women romantically
Having sex unironically fixed it for me
go get a massage
>get a massage
this
with happy ending ofc
Get a massage. Not a sex massage, a normal one. Massage therapists are accustomed to touch-starved people going for muscle pain + loneliness. You could even go for a sports massage for your workout followup.
Why do I flinch(and how do I stop) when people touch me, my last gf would touch me on my thigh while driving and every time I would flinch, I didn't have problems with her touching me while funking, what do?
Cultivate more mental confidence, whatever that means for you. Physical strength is a good way, but taking a martial arts would train you to have different reactions when approached and any decent self-defense course teaches you how to walk and react confidently but calmly
This is the absolute truth. You will dance with so many women there.
I used to flinch when my ass was touched anon. Just get a girl and ask her to touch you more.
You know a dislike of physical affection is a sign of autism
Take dancing lessons.
Yes, this. Unironically just go to a few free trial lessons. There's never enough dudes there. Pick whatever dance you can see yourself doing or just the one that seems the chadliest, and do it for a few months.
You're gonna suck at first, just like your first day at the gym, but it will be awkward for everybody, so take solace in that. And in a few weeks you'll see how you can communicate with people via touch. And yes, your spatial and kinesthetic awareness will improve.
You also might get laid, but don't pin too much hopes on it. Focus on getting gud and when you are, you won't even have to try getting poon.
Good luck, have fun.
what dances have you tried?
I mostly do Discofox, but dabbled in West Coast Swing, Bachata, Kizomba and a tiny bit of Tango. I lucked out getting into a welcoming Discofox community more than a decade ago, but first try hits like that aren't the case for many people, hence the advice to shop around. Your local scene may vary depending on (geographic/demographic) proximity to the Caribbean and other random factors.
Look at picrelated. Does this guy look like anything but a sperg? And yet there he is, touching a half-naked woman and enjoying every second of it.
You just have to work harder to overcome a deficiency, but it's true of everything in life.
There's no dress code judging by that picture?
It depends. That pic was from an informal, "un-rated" event where you're actually supposed to dress "funny" or extremely casual. You can see the judges in shorts in the background, lol.
Serious competition has real written dress code, though far less strict than actual balroom. In some categories where you compete as a couple, you're expected to have matching costumes, maybe even two sets of them.
In improv competition where pairing is random, there's a little less expectation, but you still must look as if you're deliberately dressed for it.
At the disco, it's all about comfort and your sense of modesty (which may be sorely lacking, but posting dicky on IST is frowned upon)
Of course, different dances have different cultures behind them, so it can vary wildly. West Coast Swing is far more casual, you can often see people in slacks and t-shirts at top level of competition. Caribbean styles like Bachata expect women to emphasize their ass a lot more, and so on.
What about guys who are ugly spergs?
30 year old charismatic introvert here.
background in women; two older sisters and good relationship with mother
currently have gf of 3yrs+
Have had only a handful of relationships with women, definitely not a don juan, but I enjoy touch and lovemaking and all my partners have given me good reviews.
Coming from America's Pacific North West, hugging instead of handshaking is quite common. You don't need to be very close to a friend to give or receive a hug.
Most people hug in my family upon arrival and departure.
I can also recommend Ballroom dancing like ,
,
said. Ballroom dancing is fricking based. It's traditional as frick. Never enough men like the other Anon said. Men are traditionally the Leaders, and women the followers. It's a great way to get comfortable touching women. And women love it.
Touch is one of those you shouldn't overthink. You have to intuit. FEEL. Use your gut instinct. Try to make friends with people you love, respect, and trust. It can be hard to find your people, but they're valuable. Find someone else who is comfortable touching you, hugging you, etc. Build intuition about how you feel when you are touched in a certain way. It sounds really gay but it's not, you just have to get out of your head.
>Women LOVE feeling desired, even if they don't particularly want your D right now.
Very true. Women are very sexual creatures and absolutely love that part of their femininity, as much as they like being selective about who they frick (generally), which is a good thing unless you're looking for a tramp. Just remember, you can never have too much romance with women. No wonder they like dancing so much.
based and mom pilled.
thanks for the advice big bro
>6666
Oh frick it's turbo satan!
>ballroom
IMO, ballroom (as in, the internationally recognized 10-dance competition) is way more formal than any dances I mentioned earlier, and thus more restrictive re: socialization. It's a high-performance sport, with all the caveats that implies. It's also not as based as it used to be: Blackpool has a gay division since '12, and, from what I've heard, even the ostensibly heterosexual int'l scene is pretty degenerate.
The leader-follower dynamic is inherent in any pair dance, to some extent. Of what I've tried so far, Tango seems to have the most, closely followed by Bachata and Discofox.
>FEEL
Intuition is experience rendered into behavioral heuristics by unconscious process. The good news is that even if you have NO intuition for human touch right now, you build it pretty quickly by practice. Formalized settings like dance class just make it easy to "put in reps" on this, but you should take your practice out of training and into everyday life as soon as you're comfortable doing so, or even a bit sooner.
> you just have to get out of your head
Absolutely true and based.
That's some real trauma you'll have to work through somehow, but avoiding the drinking establishments seems like your best bet for now.
On that note, inviting a random chick to an introductory dance class is a pretty cool version of "gym date" that many here recommend, and far better than just going out drinking with unfamiliar women on your own dime on Friday night.
Try BJJ.
>whenever squeezing by or behind someone trying to get around them touch their shoulder/side depending on how well you know them.
>when making jokes you can make them more animated and interactive depending on your personality and how you come across to these people
>women love flirting. It helps to know a few lines to fall on if you ever brain fart or need a default go to response.
Unfortunately I'm still trying to figure out if ever grabbing an ass at work is appropriate. We did it in the military but we truly cared for each other. Such is life.
>saying things out loud and excitedly like you just came up with them on the spot
>asking things you already know the answer to
>coming up for a hug whenever someone said something personal to you
just some other things that make you look like an approachable and relatable human
>saying things out loud and excitedly like you just came up with them on the spot
>asking things you already know the answer to
it's all so fake and boring.
You were born to do it, just get this inside your head, everyone who came before you genetically had to do it, why can't you?
>muh internet, comparing
stop, everyone is activelly trying to make themselves look better on the internet, you are not seeing the actual struggle behind any achievement
>What can I do to be more physical with people?
Help'em with their hairs
Ackshully, this also works. It requires a certain prior level of intimacy, but from some point, touching woman's hair is actually advisable as it puts them at ease. That's advanced kinaesthetics, tho, make sure you got the basics down first. And you have to learn to grab the hair at the root, evenly, to avoid painful pulling. Difficult if you don't have long hair yourself to train with.
Dubs of truth just reminded me.
>be me
>dancing well into the night
>last dance with picrel
>party's over, everyone leaving
>she comes up to say goodbye
>I'm sitting on the steps, she comes down from behind and leans in for a hug
>breasts in my face
>motorboat.gif
>she's surprised
>both lol
>"Anon, you've just realized a dream of half the dudes in here".
>I know lol.
>set up a "training date" later this week
Just do it. In ~decade of semi-regular ass-grabbing passingly familiar broads, I got sternly told off twice (and laughed it off with zero consequences) and got 1 (one) half-hearted slap in return. Women LOVE feeling desired, even if they don't particularly want your D right now.
this anon is lying, treat women like children and think of their touch levels like a horse
>and think of their touch levels like a horse
what did he mean by this
You just know.
u wot m8
I mean, I never was rich enough to afford horses, so IDK what you mean about their touch levels, but how does any of what I said prevent me from treating women like children, to their utter enjoyment and annoyance?
Well its the same as when a chick is flirting with me by playfully punching me to feel my muscles. You do the same thing to a girl and playfully bump her
>No officer, we were only flirting
>I know it's a big bruise, but she hit me first
>I was only flirting too!
>not playfully smack her ass and honk her boobies
weak
I struggled with physical contact for years from years of bullying and I've been assaulted three times, two times as an adult one time as a kid. So I just dissassociate physical contact with pain and threat, it's better but not all the time.
What kinds of jeans are those
Captcha: 2KSAD 🙁
OP probably has trauma that he needs to deal with.
The massage and dance tips are good. Maybe see a therapist too if you have any issues
To better understand touch, it is best to understand words like "skinship" or "hada to hada no fureai" as a relationship between people via skin-to-skin contact. Touching someone, or letting someone touch you is giving your body over to someone. This is the body's way of saying: "I trust this person." It is more than just hugs, massages, kisses, and cuddling. When both participants engage in intimacy with touch, they are not separate people but one body. "Touch becomes felt between people, but not because of finite bodies. In the relational state of being-together, there is a space and depth between them where something passes through the relation... There is a reversibility in the touch (touching simultaneously being touched) that opens up the meaning and quality of touch as a form of intimacy." (Tahhan, The Japanese Family)
i’m not at all a poetic person what does this mean
Yeah I can't tell if it's too deep for me or just poorly translated. But not practical advice either way.
Physical, friendly+ touch is one of the ultimate expressions of trust and vulnerability, and it affects you on a mental, spiritual and emotional level.
Even just a friendly pat on the shoulder or platonic hug has deep-reaching effects on your psyche.
I know it sounds gay but both my parents were drunks who used to best the shit out of me so both being touched and even smelling alcohol just completely wig me out, like I just freeze and am somewhere else basically. It sucks but idk how to fix it.
no touching, i find it disgusting
Have you tried not being autistic?
Then there's the sense of community. As a community of physically active, mostly fit people, it's very positive and supportive, with healthy sense of competition.
However, general prevalence of women lends it some qualities typical of female-oriented communities, such as abundance of gossip and emotional sensitivity, so you need to maintain frame to avoid being pulled into bullshit.