I thought lifting was supposed to fix this

>24
>don't drink/smoke
>haven't masturbated in 3 years
>don't look at porn
>no drugs
>lift 3x a week
>walk 3 miles every day
>achieve all macros/calorie goals
>sleep 8 hours a night
>still do not feel enjoyment or pleasure
Will I experience pleasure once I hit a certain weight on my compounds?

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    No you’re depressed

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      go shoot guns and actualy train with them.

      if it doesnt fix like it did with me,
      you got a gun

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Try doing some fun shit instead of living like some gay monk who never smokes or drinks

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I drank when I was 20, I didn't enjoy it, I got drunk but I didn't get that "euphoric" feeling people talk about getting
      I don't avoid masturbation or porn or "fun" stuff because I think I should, I just don't enjoy them so don't have the inherent urge or motivation to seek those things out.

      No you’re depressed

      I don't feel sad.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >I don't feel sad
        That's not the only type of depression that exists moron. There's rage depression and apathy depression, and you could possibly have the latter.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Well how do you cure the latter.
          I've been able to add 5lbs onto my squat per week and 5lbs every third week onto my bench. Will 2pl8 give me that reward feeling?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Nah, not really. I was happy when I benched 3pl8s the first time, but all that happened was that it tanked my motivation to continue training strength since I had already reached my all-time goal.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Perhaps you lack meaning in life. Maybe you should start with some low-effort philanthropic work like donating blood. Helping others when you can't help yourself tends to work in your favor, unless you have zero empathy.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Checked.
        Did you drink with friends? And how much did you drink?
        Is there anything you do for fun?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        go to church 🙂

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          You have to be over 18 to post on here kiddo

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        You sound autistic. Like, actually mentally deficient. Incapable of extrapolative thinking. Read a book, retard.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >I don't feel sad.
        yup, and you do not feel enjoyment or pleasure, anhedonia
        also depression causes you to be temporarily retarded, which is why you're currently arguing that you're not depressed
        start working on figuring out what's causing it, ideally with help but if not DIY
        if you're lucky, it's situational due to factors that are fixable

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Will I experience pleasure once I hit a certain weight on my compounds?
    no
    maybe you need a psychedelic trip to reset your brain, what do you have to lose?

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Try fucking hot girls

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I've had sex with an objectively attractive girl and it was not enjoyable for me. It felt like work yet there wasn't any pay off. I've had multiple girls express interest in me but its honestly an annoyance rather than something I want. Expressing indifference or short blunt responses seem to attract girls more somehow. I feel like they just want someone to project onto and/or an emotional "rock" where they can act like children with.

      >Will I experience pleasure once I hit a certain weight on my compounds?
      no
      maybe you need a psychedelic trip to reset your brain, what do you have to lose?

      Unironically heard this can fix this problem. Most people I've met who've taken psychedelics are intolerable though, and I'm worried about a "bad trip" as I have nightmares pretty frequently.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        You definitely have some mental issues maybe try therapy. Do you feel anxiety often? Numbness and emptiness can come from anxiety
        >psychedelics
        I feel like psychedelics remove my priors and let me experience from scratch. Get a trusted tripsitter or benzos to counter a bad trip. Personally I had a bad trip once and felt pure fear. The rest of the trip and day sucked but there are no long term effects. Just don't act like these insufferable people. They probably use lots of other drugs and have many mental problems.
        You could also try mdma as it gets rid of all anxiety and creates pure bliss.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm not anxious. Irritable at most. I don't mind the nightmares and I do have some good dreams, I prefer being asleep since I get scared, anxious, happy, etc. Being awake its just sort of missing. Before I formulated my routine and macro/calorie meal plan I had gotten sick from weight loss and inactivity so I started doing this to avoid that discomfort.
          I don't know anyone who can sell me those things and I'd rather not order online as it seems easier to get tracked down for that. I'm fine with trying things as long as they don't potentially ruin further opportunities to fix it. I heard psychedelics were a "reset" for people although its a random reset from what I've heard. MDMA I heard potentially just burns out the receptors for feeling things and rats given it end up having similar symptoms to myself.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            yeah MDMA is bliss while you on it and a extreme low after the fact. it doesn't burn out you receptors it depletes your ability to make dopamine and serotonin since it floods your brain with.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            How often do you try different things or step out of your comfort zone?

            >drugs
            Psychedelics were not a reset for me. How would that even work? Sure you can do introspection and change your habits but no complete reset.
            There always is a risk in using drugs. It's up to you to decide if the risk is worth it.
            MDMA negatively affects your memory and concentration. These effects return to normal after a certain time of no use. The week after you will probably feel more depressed. All these animal studies are seriously flawed like way over the top dosage. Also you can't directly compare animals and humans.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              Idk about you, but for most people I've talked to, psychedelics were a reset. For me it usually isn't an instant switch. It's more subtle. I'll wake up the next morning and feel like nothing changed, but after about a month or two I'd notice that I dropped certain habits and picked up new interests. For others it's more drastic. I gave two of my coworkers shrooms. After a single dose, one of them quit vaping, and the other quit smoking. I've had one bad trip and it made me quit steroids immediately.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >a month or two
                Sounds like normal behavior changes that you attribute to psychs without enough evidence
                I agree introspection on psychs can lead to behavior changes because your priors are lower though

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'm someone who has a hard time dropping habits and changing my lifestyle, so I do think the psychedelics played a role in my changes.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >easier to get tracked down for that. I'm fine with trying
            Literally not true. Ordering online with monero is way safer than real life buying

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              don't be obtuse, giving someone you know cash is much safer than registering a wallet with your drivers license and exchanging digital "currency" which is under every increasing scrutiny from all governments for globally illegal substances that are often shipped at least across state lines.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                If you're in America, the DEA only gives a shit about meth and heroin, and they care less about consumers and much more about mass suppliers. Even if your shit somehow gets caught during shipping, they'll only hold the item and won't do anything afterwards, until they eventually dispose of it. Feds got bigger fish to fry. If you're only buying shrooms, you're extra safe. Shrooms are slowly being decriminalized all across the country, and absolutely no glowie is enough of a gay to bust someone's door down over a half-ounce of shrooms.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                it depends on what else you got going on. If local (or however high you go up) PD is looking to take you down that's an dumb way to go out.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I live in a state where people still get 7 years prison for weed possession, which is why its a concern.

                Checked.
                Did you drink with friends? And how much did you drink?
                Is there anything you do for fun?

                I've drank alone and with friends before. I preferred drinking alone just for the fact keeping up appearances while drunk is harder and being around drunks is irritating. In either case you just feel sick and there's no "euphoric" feeling. I'm not sure how many shots, but when drinking alone the first time I drank enough to where I couldn't sit up straight or formulate sentences as a test for what my personal limit was.
                I currently don't do anything for fun. I lay in bed and keep a video of someone talking in the background on. If I had a good dream recently I try to imagine that but the emotion I felt during it is usually missing when awake.

                you have to exercise the brain
                learn as much as you can, math is a good start

                I got two years into my calculus degree in college. I didn't feel any different.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >keeping up appearances
                Why would you need to keep up appearances around your friends? What appearances are you keeping up?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >"hey anon, isn't this food good?"
                >say its great, love the [flavor], throw a comment on its texture, compare it to another positive thing
                >can't say I don't enjoy eating or food
                >people talking about their weekend
                >"hey, what were you up to last night?"
                >say I was just (doing relatable activity to the people in current social group)
                >can't say I laid in bed after hitting my daily calorie requirement while trying to simulate how I feel in my dreams
                Its exhausting, I don't like these people, I don't enjoy spending time around them, I have to pretend I like food, I have to pretend I'm interested in things, I have to pretend I sincerely like or care for these people when I dont. I don't enjoy spending time with anyone and its frustrating as its a pleasant experience when sleeping. On top of it I despise some of them as I know on top of not understanding that I don't enjoy food, they'll get jealous or angry that I can lose weight so easily without regards as to why thats the case.

                Was it always like this? Or just recently?

                Its been like this since puberty seemingly.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Damn you sound exactly like someone I used to know. He ended up ghosting me and the rest of the group shortly after we graduated high school. It was probably honestly for the best. We were likely dragging him around for outings when he wasn't into it and pestering him about his personal life. We'd probably be closer friends now if we met up again, since I've had my own downs since those times.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Of course you can't enjoy time with them if you don't allow yourself to be your true self.
                I can't imagine that you feel nothing when eating. Maybe try to eat stuff with extreme taste like citrus, chilli, sweets, ginger and try to feel the taste. You don't want the voice in your had saying how it taste or not taste, just feel like meditation or psychs

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I can't imagine that you feel nothing when eating.
                I feel nothing when ejaculating. Eating is the same and in fact excess texture and flavor is annoying to me and makes it harder to get down. I don't understand people like this, "just try different foods, maybe you can't taste it". Its not, I can taste it just fine, I don't like it. I know what objectively tasted good to people as I had to cook for others. I simply don't enjoy it despite tasting it.
                I've had 1 person I could be myself with and it was a schizophrenic. He understood the lack of enjoyment and lack of desire for relationships. I wouldn't say I "enjoyed" my time around him, but its nice for someone to speak what I was thinking about things and actually agree or relate.

                5x10 nofap (post above is right your dopamine receptors are fucked)
                4x8 go outside in nature

                >I haven't masturbated in 3 years
                Could you really not read past the 3rd fucking line? Are you retarded? KYS.

                You need more extreme stimuli, all this soft boy stuff everyone else is content with doesnt even regesester as somethimg happening in your brain

                This could potentially be it, I'm not sure what I could do with how tame modern life is.

                https://i.imgur.com/P8QTqGc.jpg

                >Schizoid personality disorder is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency toward a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment and apathy. Affected individuals may be unable to form intimate attachments to others and simultaneously possess a rich and elaborate but exclusively internal fantasy world. Other associated features include stilted speech, a lack of deriving enjoyment from most activities, feeling as though one is an "observer" rather than a participant in life, an inability to tolerate emotional expectations of others, apparent indifference when praised or criticized, a degree of asexuality, and idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs.
                most of this thread is literally me
                OP, at some point I decided I shouldn't have the mindset that something may be "wrong" as that brings no benefit to me, so instead I figured that this is just how it came to be, accept that I am apathetic to a lot of social aspects, that this is just part of struggle, and continue to strive to improve in whatever I perceive to be improvement.

                https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
                Bro...

                Well fuck, how do I cure this. I've been to therapy before but I always hated it. It was basically I talk about an issue, therapist stares blankly or keeps me talking about it. In the end I just vented off and nothing was accomplished. No advice to fix the problem or shitty normie tier advice like
                Friend wise I guess I could only be friends with non-drug-induced-schizos if I wanted people I could "be myself" around, but those people usually differ because they have grandiose delusions sometimes or don't try to fix their lack of enjoyment with things and just smoke weed or take prescription medication that gets rid of their want to enjoy instead of fixing their lack of enjoyment.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >how do I cure this
                You don't, as far as I know, you just learn to live with it better. I just kind of accepted that I'll never be able to experience live as fully as other people. My anhedonia isn't as bad as yours though, maybe you have some form of depression on top of it? Depression is co-morbid with SPD, you could try meds and see if that changes anything.

                >I've been to therapy before but I always hated it
                Change your therapist. There are some shitty ones out there, you'll need to shop around to find one that fits your issues.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                You need more extreme stimuli, all this soft boy stuff everyone else is content with doesnt even regesester as somethimg happening in your brain

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                If you had it since puberty you could be schizoid. Try reading about it.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                The stats don't lie, though. There's been only a dozen big operation busts on shroom suppliers in the past decade, and most of these were collateral busts, when the feds were trying to sniff out different drugs. If they care that little about suppliers moving kilos by the week, your chances of getting busted for buying shrooms is nearly zero, unless you're a retard. It's simple - shrooms don't move around enough money nearly enough to force the feds' hand. It's extremely inefficient from a labor and resource perspective, which is why most drug possession charges in general are collateral busts during incidents like traffic violations and house inspections.
                From a perspective of efficiency, you don't have much to lose. Psychedelics aren't things most people will take on a frequent basis, as they aren't physically addictive, and your body rapidly gains a tolerance to them. It could take you over a year just to go through an ounce. I personally only trip once every couple months.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                You news more.exterme stimili bevome a adrienlin junkie. Just dont hit head. It will worm

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                You transfer xmr from the exchange to a private wallet and then buy drugs. Government can only know about you if they get your or the dealers PC and either of you did not encrypt enough. Ordering in your country is safe, from another country not so much. If you would buy in rl there is no reason why buying online would be more unsafe

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I usually drop people when I no longer need to be in contact with them, but had I still been in touch with people I could probably just get drugs off them as people seem to offer them to me a lot. I've never met a "dealer" or anything. But it seems much safer to just exchange meds from a friend than an anonymous "dealer". At the moment I have no need or want to go through the process of making friends for this purpose.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            You can grow psilocybin mushrooms at home in bulk just once and have pretty much a lifetime supply, with extra to share with your buddies - assuming you do things properly and not fall into "cheap and easy" bullshit methods.

            You can also extract DMT at home with just a handful of ingredients that are completely legal to buy.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I've had sex with an objectively attractive girl and it was not enjoyable for me. It felt like work yet there wasn't any pay off. I've had multiple girls express interest in me but its honestly an annoyance rather than something I want. Expressing indifference or short blunt responses seem to attract girls more somehow. I feel like they just want someone to project onto and/or an emotional "rock" where they can act like children with.
          [...]
          Unironically heard this can fix this problem. Most people I've met who've taken psychedelics are intolerable though, and I'm worried about a "bad trip" as I have nightmares pretty frequently.

          taking drugs will show you parts of the map
          the problem is, you still have to TRAVEL the map

          read the words of Christ
          you can do it in less than an hour

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            sounds like dopamine receptors are fried
            detox from the apps
            read the bible
            matthew mark luke john

            a veil is over this world
            it is ruled by satan
            they want us to suffer
            you are not alone

            I was raised roman catholic and unfortunately am not schizophrenic so do not get that weird "feeling of god" you seem to have. I despise religious types growing up with them.

            Get some fucking friends, retard. The autists on this site...

            As I've said, I don't get any satisfaction talking to people and have been able to keep up an act long enough to make friends. Again, its about as joyless and as much of a job as having sex. Except with a job you at least get paid. I just drop them and if work requires I interact with them, I keep up relations till I switch workplaces, which I then just drop without explanation. I fortunately no longer need to do this anymore as I don't work.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              >i despise religious types
              blaming God for the failures of men?
              seems childish

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              >joyless
              When was the last time you experienced joy?
              What do you think would bring you joy?

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              >despise religious people
              >feel no joy in life

              You should go to church and help your community

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              I see many anons recommending drugs. Psychedelics can give one the impression of contentedness, but ultimately the soul remains empty. The delusions of happiness fade with time, and the quietly waiting desolation becomes known again.

              It’s good that you’re devoid of joy, because it means that you can diagnose the state of your soul more soberly. The natural state of man without God is of emptiness and anxiety, yet many spend their entire lives rejecting this fact.
              Without God we are nothing, yet through him we can do all things.
              1 Peter 5:7, KJV: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Thor is literally a better guide cause the entire point of him is to struggle and become strong to destroy your enemies with physical superiority and rape a lot

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I hate normies. OP doesn't conform to society because society is fucked. It doesn't mean that he's mentally ill - he sounds quite sane to me

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        People who take psychedelics for fun are intolerable. People who take them as medication are pretty relatable, albeit seemingly cold at times.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          fucks up the brain

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Other anons have said it already but the intolerable sort are the ones who don't have any respect for what they're taking. The last time I had acid, I remember all of my friends crowding around to giggle at inane youtube videos and play video games while they were blitzed out of their fucking skulls and it made me nauseous and angry.

        The last time I had mushrooms, I did them by myself and spent 6 hours sitting out on the back porch in the dark, having conversations with a lot of people who used to be in my life and saying a lot of things I wish I had said to them when I still could. Not in a "dude woah" hallucination way, I knew I was having mock conversations, but I could almost hear their voices when I'd imagine their replies and I poured my soul out to nobody all night, cried myself dry, and felt like a new man in the morning. I'd love to do them again but now I have chronic pain and the thought of how that would affect a trip frightens me.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Very autistic responses

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        When NOCs take psychedelics, they become extra cringe after. When real people take them, it causes a multitude of benefits.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          NPCs*

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    sounds like dopamine receptors are fried
    detox from the apps
    read the bible
    matthew mark luke john

    a veil is over this world
    it is ruled by satan
    they want us to suffer
    you are not alone

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      taking drugs will show you parts of the map
      the problem is, you still have to TRAVEL the map

      read the words of Christ
      you can do it in less than an hour

      knock this shit off dude, you're not helping anyone. no one who posts here in any capacity can claim to have any knowledge of Christ.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >no one can read 400 pages
        ok

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          literally everyone who has been through high school has done that, as usual you christian larpers show how little reading comprehension you actually have.

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get some fucking friends, retard. The autists on this site...

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    get a job, a wife, kids, house and 3 cars

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >get a job that underpays
      >a wife, aka a second job
      oy vey

      >i despise religious types
      blaming God for the failures of men?
      seems childish

      wtf are you even going on about

      what you need is gratefulness

      and you need a gf to fuck.

      how many times have I said, I do not, enjoy, sex, with women. I do not enjoy sex, period.

      >joyless
      When was the last time you experienced joy?
      What do you think would bring you joy?

      I can't remember actually. I felt excited about stuff as a kid, but I'm not sure I felt "joy" back then. Well, actually, to sound weird I remember enjoying "furries" as a kid, I tried to wear a collar once and got scolded for it. (Probably for the better), but I remember getting scolded for liking harmless things too. I tried going back and doing the things I remember liking but was scolded for, but I don't seem to enjoy them as an adult.

      Perhaps you lack meaning in life. Maybe you should start with some low-effort philanthropic work like donating blood. Helping others when you can't help yourself tends to work in your favor, unless you have zero empathy.

      I've volunteered at an animal shelter before and volunteered at a hospital to help people fill out financial aid paperwork for their debts, but in all honesty I don't get anything out of helping so stopped.
      >donating blood
      You do realize they take that free blood and then charge people who need it a few thousand dollars? Only charity there is to the hospital CEO. I dont care for people much but I still get disgusted by certain people.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >You do realize they take that free blood and then charge people who need it a few thousand dollars?

        My bad, first you should leave your 3rd world country and move to a place with universal healthcare.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's the same in germany. Donor gets a few bucks. Donation clinic sells it for major bucks and individuals pay through their mandatory government health insurance payments

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        You will never be happy unless you stop being such a doomer.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    what you need is gratefulness

    and you need a gf to fuck.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You will experience pleasure once you add something to your life that is meaningful, you get pleasure when you set goals and successfully work towards achieving them

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Follow Christ
    >Take pleasure in the sufferings assigned to you
    >Take pleasure in your blessings
    >Enjoy life
    >Enjoy eternal bliss after life
    It really is that simple.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >to enjoy life just enjoy life
      you sound like an asshole

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    you have to exercise the brain
    learn as much as you can, math is a good start

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Was it always like this? Or just recently?

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    5x10 nofap (post above is right your dopamine receptors are fucked)
    4x8 go outside in nature

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >still do not feel enjoyment or pleasure
    GOOD

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    damn moron maybe try having fun

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Shrooms you fucking dumbass.

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Listen The Power Of Now you fucking dumbass.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
    Bro...

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Schizoid personality disorder is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency toward a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment and apathy. Affected individuals may be unable to form intimate attachments to others and simultaneously possess a rich and elaborate but exclusively internal fantasy world. Other associated features include stilted speech, a lack of deriving enjoyment from most activities, feeling as though one is an "observer" rather than a participant in life, an inability to tolerate emotional expectations of others, apparent indifference when praised or criticized, a degree of asexuality, and idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs.
      most of this thread is literally me
      OP, at some point I decided I shouldn't have the mindset that something may be "wrong" as that brings no benefit to me, so instead I figured that this is just how it came to be, accept that I am apathetic to a lot of social aspects, that this is just part of struggle, and continue to strive to improve in whatever I perceive to be improvement.

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >haven't masturbated in 3 years

    There's your problem. Prove me wrong.
    >protip: you can't

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >still do not feel enjoyment or pleasure

    Maybe because you deny yourself all of lifes pleasures

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I haven't experienced any form of social interaction in months.

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like you are legit autistic
    Not the kind of autistic that any 2nd incel here claims to be

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >it's a narcissist self pitying anon waffles about his life thread
    How do these cringy fags get (You)s?

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    No drugs, no drinks, no sex, only hobby is lifting
    >feels depressed

    Hmm yes, very mysterious.. I wonder what could be the problem here

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    how many hours a day are you spending on hanging out with your girlfriend?

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe you have an internet addiction

  27. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    it's all so tiresome bros....

    I just turned 19, idk OP's age, does SPD get better? I know I have something wrong with me and for years I've known about SPD but denied the claim. I've just accepted I probably have it over the years, on every "muh online test" i get like a minimum of 73% everytime even changing my answers. The only time I "win" the test is when I choose what I think others would use.

    The only problem is I know I'll be fucked in the future, but I simply do not care to fix it. (I.E get a gf, have friends) but I can't be bothered, and a GF is a commitment I just don't give a fuck about. I think women are very cute and like 15 minutes of my day I really want a gf, but then I just don't care about it anymore.

    Online communities (discord, IST, etc.) was/is the only time I feel I can be excitable and "alive". And music is the soul driver in my emotional state, if I couldn't listen to music I would go insane, and typically I listen to everything, but euphoric style songs tend to be my jive.

    I go to college, fitness, etc. But it feels like I just do it becasue I know I should. I don't really care to do it, I just know it would be much much worse if I didn't. I don't care for my own wellness, but for example I won't roid, because that is retarded why would I blow my heart out LATER, but I would take DNP, because fuck it if I die now I die now? Also I will go 90 down a hill in the truck just because its the only feeling that is fun to me. (I always felt I should be a race car driver I tend to feel really good on extreme highs, and thats it)

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