I workout 3-4/week and my husband is overweight and won't make a habit of exercise at all.

I workout 3-4×/week and my husband is overweight and won't make a habit of exercise at all. He's always making some excuse. On top of this we often go weeks without having sex, and he turns me down most of the time. I'm embarassed to keep asking but also have a high sex drive and need an outlet. Is there any way to motivate him to workout? Will it help his libido?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >husband is overweight and won't make a habit of exercise at all
    Just tell him if he doesn't get in shape you will leave him for your black personal trainer Tyrone

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks but I'm not into monkey Black folk or being a prostitute I just want my husband to want to have sex with me

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This has to be b8, but I want to believe.
        Make it available, make him keep you company even if he says he wont exercise.
        Also try making fitness into a set of smaller challenges for him.
        become able to do 10 pushups by the deadline,
        1 complete pullup by the deadline,
        etc, etc

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This would just embarass him I'm not his mother.
          And ik it sounds like bait but I just can't talk to anyone ik about this for obvious reasons

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Well, you'll have to give him some momentum to work with.
            Invite him to go outside and get some sunlight
            invite him to go to bed earlier and get more sleep.
            pick up some new recipes that are nutritious good tasting.
            This is momentum for him to restore his mental and physical health

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I invite him to the park, I ask him to come to bed with me (he stays up till like 3am every night and will get out of bed even if he goes to sleep with me), and for a while was making him an exact strict diet he wanted because he said it'd motivate him and he never got back into it.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This would just embarass him I'm not his mother.
        And ik it sounds like bait but I just can't talk to anyone ik about this for obvious reasons

        Alright I understand not wanting to doxx yourself with pics but could you draw yourself and him? How bad is it? How does he treat your marriage otherwise? Do you have kids?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm BMI 20 and like 22% bf and he's BMI 29 and 25% if I had to guess. He's good in a lot of ways, especially with our son (baby). But he's been increasingly short with me lately and I get nervous wondering when I am going to upset him again. When we do have sex it is good.
          He makes comments about feeling fat and needing to get in shape but just won't do it.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Ask him directly what he wants. What he really wants, not what he thinks you want to hear

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            OK anon, I have been through something similar so maybe this anecdote might be helpful. My husband was suffering from low sex drive, being snappy, wanting to workout or do other goals but never being motivated enough, started to gain weight too, but he frequently forgets to eat so it isn't terrible (my lovely skeletor went from 9% bf to 12%)

            In his case it was
            >stress from being the sole provider and then work being slow
            >stress from having 3 children under 4, including a baby, and parenting a moody almost teenager at the same time
            >my own issues I have been working on, but were still affecting him (I was very sick and non functional for a few years, hence the kids age gap)
            >he had to take care of me for a few years, even when I became well enough to have more children it was difficult because I was pregnant and the pain issues returned even worse
            >he became snappy over small things, and went back and forth between passive aggressive to being actually explosive
            >2 beer a day habit became 6 beers
            >determined he was extremely overwhelmed and it was making him depressed
            >it took many conversations before he was able to open up and talk about it, he didn't want me to feel guilty
            >he was struggling with anxiety about providing adequately and depressed because he felt he wasn't doing a good enough job

            What changed?
            >my health improved to the point where he only needs to do regular helping instead of being a caregiver. I can do my share of work and don't have serious health problems anymore
            >our little children are now older and more independent, people often forget that having a baby is hard for the father as well, when (and really, only when) they are doing their fair share
            >men are also more susceptible to developing depression after the birth of a child
            1/2

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Bump.

              What kind of health problems were you dealing with? Sorry to hear about that, but I'm glad that it's gotten better for you and your family.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            So advice timez, this is just what worked for us. May or may not work for you.
            >when you offer help fixing his issues, it makes the male feel like you are pointing out everything that is wrong with them, they don't see that you are trying to make them happy, they feel worthless
            >implement "Pavlov's Blowjob Reward System" to train him to do things you like, did this many years ago and the conditionting still works to this day
            >make sure to have healthy boundaries for yourself and child when it comes to anger issues
            >for depression, make yourself a safe person to talk to, don't judge, don't offer advice, just let him talk and show you understand, be a good friend
            >give him shrooms, biggest breakthrough with sex drive happened when we did this
            >keep on inviting him to do things with you and the baby, but also have your own things to do on your own and/or friends to hang out with, maybe find a baby group or start this library story time things
            >I met a fellow sperg mom at the park randomly, just keep putting yourself out there. Having a bosom buddy is extremely important to women and girls. You may not notice it in the absence of one, but having one, who is a compatible person, makes a significant improvement to female mental health
            >take a goddamned break and go on a nice date, or take turns having days off to do whatever you both want, you need breaks or you will go insane (we actually didn't go on a date for 2 years after the youngest was born, DO NOT do this)

            Good luck OP. I took my time and wrote all this shit out for you because I have been in a similar position and it's a hard place to be. Maybe something in all this text can help you make some changes, or at least feel understood. Having a person understand, and being truly heard is important when dealing with tough emotional situations, so make sure you have someone (not psycho, or a bucket crab) to talk to as well. Really hope you guys can find yourselves and eventually, each other again.
            2/2

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >pavlov's blowjob reward system

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              You are a wonderful wife and I hope continue to share what you've learned with the people in your life and your community.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I'm a man admittedly, but when I was with a fairly masculine woman I had success when I was straight up with her
        >You're harming your health and that makes me upset
        >You're becoming less willing and able to do things that I like
        >It's making me less attracted to you
        >I'm worried about your health and our marriage
        >This needs to change because you're making me sexually unsatisfied and frustrated with our relationship

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I have asked him many times when he will start working out again but I should probably be more direct and tell him I want him to be more active/in better shape.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >was
          Did you end up getting divorced, or do you mean that she's no longer 'masculine'?

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It could be a circular problem, you’re chasing him so he feels too much pressure to perform. It could be a severe lien addiction. If you’re in great shape and he’s not and he’s refusing to have sex with you, it’s close to over. Just have the hard conversation that he can tell you the truth or he can explain to his mom while he’s moving back in with her. If he loved you he’d show it and want close intimacy, or at least tell you why he couldn’t.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He thinks you’re cheating and has already checked out.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This is possible, but not likely if she's coming here to vent her frustrations about it. She'd damn well know why he's withdrawn if she was actually cheating.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    how's your sex drive? sounds like it's pretty high.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you cook? Make healthy meals that help him get into shape. Get the frick rid of all confectionaries and especially sodas (easiest shit to get rid of its funny people stuggle with it). Idk offer to work out with him? Offer rewards for working out? Calling him a homosexual for not wanting to frick? Idfk about the others but yeah diet makes a frick ton of difference.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He doesn't even eat that much (probably 2500cals), he's just so sedentary it's enough to make him overweight. He'd actually need to eat like 1k more if he started lifting again

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OP here, I’m also a man, if that matters. We adopted

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like you are not really arousing him.
    But it's hard to tell online, so I suggest you either
    Post breasts
    Or
    GTFO

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My gf is thin and hot, but she started shit talking to me when we have an argument and she won’t shut the frick up. She will even make fun of me. She never cleans my home because she says it’s not her house despite her sleeping her 4-5 days a week and eating rice cakes on my bed and always leaving plates on the table after eating. Whenever I bring it up she told me that my house was a mess before she met me and that she helped me cleaned it twice(4 months ago was the last time) she told me that she has a house of her own to clean ( she lives with parents) and they even have a female cleaner from Phillipines or something.

    We are getting married in August

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