I'm literally too poor to afford gym membership. Please recommend me calisthenic workout program for beginners

I'm literally too poor to afford gym membership. Please recommend me calisthenic workout program for beginners

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >pull ups
    >push ups or dips
    >squats
    >leg raises

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Add horizontal rows and you're set

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    invest into gymnastic rings

    thank me later

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      This.
      And learn handstand, so you can do handstand pushups for your shoulder.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Just to add to this anon, you don't even really need to do handstand pushups to get shoulder gains. Just doing handstand walks will give you shoulder gains too

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          And if someone is a degenerate (like me), he should look up pike pushups.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Back when I was broke and working a shit job and mma fighting on weekends for cash I couldn’t afford a gym membership either. And no trainers would sponsor me or take me on because they thought I was a fucking psycho. More like they were pussy shits because I used to beat the shit out of their pussy boy dancers. So to get practice and workout my muscles and techniques I used to drive around at night in my shithole city and look for homeless people or thugs and criminals and shit examples of human filth. And I would get out my car and just start beating the shit out of them. No mercy, trying my best to stay within mma rules which I never really learned anyways, but just annihilated them. Did this for 4 hours a night every night. Got banned from all competition when some snitch coach ratted me out to the organization. Brought in some hood shithead I busted up. Anyways beat the shit out of that snitch and went across country. Now I make a lot of money doing marketing for my job purely because they thought I was someone else funny how lucky things work out. And no head trauma either

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >because they thought I was a fucking psycho
      >anyway i did all this psycho shit to "train"
      you should be in prison lol

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >mma fighting on weekends for cash
      H-how does one get into this?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        you dont.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Start wrestling/fighting in parking lot of bar. >Start vetting money to see if they can dodge hits and who can outlast the other guy etc.
        >Keep doing this until you have lots of dudes willing to join in.
        >Once you get kicked out find an empty place where the cops won't see
        >Then tell all the previous dudes who went to the parking lot fights to come to the new fight zone.
        If you can afford it host it in a place you own or rent so you don't get busted for trespassing on top of the rest of the charges.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Real life's not Fight Club my man, 1-3 hits against the concrete down below will get the life knocked out of you.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >go to nightclubs
        >start fights with people
        >take their wallets and spend their money

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nice larp

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I want to ram her

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >And now I post on IST

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        peak comedy

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds like good fight experience. Did anyone pull a weapon on you?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Almost believe it. But some crazed out methhead has to have pulled a knife on you atleast a couple a times. greentext?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      How many threads are you going to larp this power fantasy in tonight?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Is this from the same "fuck all martial arts" creator?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Shes not aiming at the gas tank and shes pulling the E95 trigger. I would not let this easily distracted thot fuel my car

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    not gonna post a routine, figure that out on your own based on your fitness goals.
    But as for ideas on what exercises to do
    pullups/chinups
    pushups
    split squat
    crunches
    dips
    calf raise on step
    For extra resistance, just add some books inside of a backpack and wear the backpack while doing the above exercises. Get creative with adding more resistance such as also holding onto a backpack with books inside while also wearing one. Just make sure your balance is stable though, dont go to snap city fucking flying around everywhere

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    gyms only cost $20/month

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      wow, it's just $20 more than mu salary

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Same position anon. I gave my friend my pullup bar since he needed it much more than I do. Now in the mornings I run down to the park and do this on the monkeybars:
    >Dips
    >Pullups
    >Deadhangs
    >Pushups
    >Inverted Sit-Ups
    >Calf Raises

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you can’t even pay $10 a month for some trash like planet fitness you’ve got way bigger problems than exercise rn you fucking brokie

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    There is no calisthenics program, only good moves are pullups, dips and pushups.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      No legs?

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >has a phone/computer

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Probably a jobless NEET

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You can diy a kettlebell really cheap.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Burpee pullups

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Focus your entire workout on shoulders. They're all that matter.

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Elastic bands are cheap (cheaper than weights for a dumbbell), hook it up over a pull up bar and see what can be done. Or look it up on Youtube.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    get these.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Got nowhere to put them

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        pull up bar
        tree

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    > Sprinting 10 minute EMOM
    > Hindu Push Ups x3 max reps.
    > Hindu Squats x3 1 min max reps
    > Chin Ups you guessed it x3 1 min max reps.

    Flexible clothing and underwear is a must, you'll be stretching after all.

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    just steal brake rotors off of cars and lift those

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe you're going about it all wrong. A routine is something you develop for yourself over time with experience. You can use any basic routine cooked up from some doofus' note pad and gradually alter it to fit your needs and goals.
    Perhaps you need to learn how to do that instead: set realistic goals and evaluate those methods of obtaining that goal when you meet your deadline. You have to put in some mental effort into this. You dont gotta figure it all out in a day, but you must adapt.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Try picrel. Do this or the Complete Beginner variation if you're a fatty or weakling: http://www.startbodyweight.com/p/some-sample-custom-programs.html

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you're too poor to get a gym membership. Get a better job. Save pennies for a certification to improve your life.
    Top tip if you take those free online live lessons by companies they usually give discounts to participants.
    I got a job by completing the google it professional certificate in the free trial period. It was basic entry level stuff.

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    push ups, squats, leg raises, sit ups are all easy. If you have monkey bars, you can do pull ups too. If you have some rope, you can do rows on the monkey bars. You might want to buy a dumbbell for curls. Running is good for general fitness (just don't push too hard and hurt yourself).

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I DO PUSHUPS ON HUNDREDS
    >AND DIPS ON FIFTIES
    >I PULL UP ON DUBS
    >AND KEEP TEN OF 'EM WITH ME

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I hate that every time I hop up and start using these a crowd of people just like manifests and stares. Leave me alone!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I do this when I see someone jump on these. I start cheering, clapping, and calling people over. I also starting throwing some change at the ground.

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Gymnast rings + ankle weights.
    Weighted pull-ups (and variations), push-ups and dips.
    Some old 100$ bicycle from a pawn shop for cardio and jump rope.

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Superset as follows every single day - if you take a rest day on a full calisthenics routine you are ngmi.

    > Bulgarian split squats 3x15
    >> Pullups 3x10-15
    >pistol squat 3x10-15
    >>dips 3x10-15
    pushup 3x15-20
    >ring row variations 3x10-15
    >>ab rollout 3x20+
    >hanging leg raise 3x20+

    do varying accessory exercises for peacock muscles.

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