I'm thinking about joining the Australian Army reserve sometime next year

I'm thinking about joining the Australian Army reserve sometime next year
Im late 20s and a bit skinny fat, not really good at stamina but alright at strength.
Not a very good swimmer from what I can remember last time I was in a pool

What sort of things should I be working on to get pretty good at what's below, sorta looking at starting to join in about 6-12 months.

15 Push Ups
45 Sit Ups
7.5 Beep Test
2.4k (1.5mile) in 11:48 or under
30m swim + 2min tread water

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Im late 20s and a bit skinny fat, not really good at stamina
    You're going to get bullied, I guarantee it.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      haha, another aussie.
      As someone in the army whos done all that shit what you should actually be training for is:
      40 pushups
      100 situps
      2.4k in 11:15
      and I guess swimming if you can't swim 30m

      The pushups are easy, set a goal amount of pushups that you're gonna do then do pushups with good form until failure, wait a minute and do till failure again and keep doing that until you reach your goal. When I joined I was doing 500 pushups 4 nights a week, took me like 20 minutes or smth idk. sit-ups are the same, there's plenty of ways to work abs, just keep it simple and relevant. High rep calisthenics are the way to go on those two.

      If you can't run start slow with intervals, 200m aim for a minute per 200m pace to start, which is a 12 minute 2.4, and then bring it down 2 or 3 seconds each week until you're around 48-50 seconds which is an easy pass time. then raise the distance to 400m, and go back to a 2 minute pace, bring it down 3 or 4 seconds until you're at a 1:40-45 pace, then add another 200m and another minute and keep going until you're at the 2.4 distance in good time.
      Get good shoes, run on grass, watch your form and most importantly warmup, cooldown, stretch every day and don't over do it. You may be able to run faster but if you push yourself too much without building a solid base you'll break yourself. This is the program they use to build people who have broken themselves back up to standard btw.

      Having said all this, this is shit you gotta sort man cause as said if you rock up as a skinny fat little loser with no confidence then you're gonna end up one of those people that gets through because of lowered standards. Train to pass the normal soldiers Basic Fitness Assessment above not the bullshit thing you gotta do to get in basic. Those cunt who do the minimum are ostracized heavily.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Also consider getting into light rucking maybe once a week, starting with 3 or 4km and maybe 8-10kg in a bag and building up to 10km with 20kg at a 10minute/km pace, adding 2kg or a km each week.
        Also lift weights, read the sticky. Do starting strength or smth, theres plenty of advice online for a beginner lifter.
        Bottom line is just don't be some fat little cunt that coasts along the absolute bare minimum standard, cause we got so fucking many of them here and I and every other soldier who takes our job seriously hates the fuck out of them. Its so easy to get in shape so don't be a linger.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Thank you for your service cunt

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            haha, I've done literally nothing worth thanking me for, unless you think op covid assist is worth anything. Cheers though

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          yeah definitely dont listen to this bro
          theyll train you up to do pack marches etc at kapooka and furthermore on your IETs depending on what corps you go in as (with a PTI running the sessions). youll pack march to the range a few times and gradually build up distances.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            2 pack marches to the range with like 12kg and a gat isn't training you to do pack marches. I'm just saying its a good idea to build up some tolerance before going in cause at least in my platoon we did two short pack marches and then when we did the full length march on the PESA for more distance and with heavier weight then we'd ever done with no build up, a lot of people dropped out. I can only imagine its worse for chocs who just have to get pumped through courses. Also if he's a choc and does broken up IETs then that training is gonna be on him, so he may as well get started now. I don't get why you think 3km with 8kg is gonna break the man.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Shut the fuck up you clown. The PTRC is five weeks long and they do like 3 intro PT sessions over that time (there isn't time in the program for anything else). Every other cunt there will be a reservist.

        OP you'll be fine. Just keep training push-ups, sit-ups and running. Jump in, you'll enjoy it.

        Agree though aim for more than the minimum! But that's a lesson for life.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Cunt, you shouldn't training to pass an un-failable basic, you should train to do your job haha. everything I've said is true, I'm not trying to discourage just inform on army culture.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, SERCAT 7 culture. SERCAT 5 is a different kettle of fish. Just let him join up as a choco and he'll integrate fine.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              ah well, can't argue with that. For the record OP, not trying to be discouraging. Guess i'm just projecting my frustration at lazy cunts in my unit on too you.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                What unit are you at? Guessing you're a half-track or digger

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                yee, 3 brig, artillery.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Poor cunt. Godspeed.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                haha, appreciated brother.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Checkin the heckin flip in fuck jannie and FUCK beezu

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Australian Army reserve
    gaaaaaaaaaaaaay

    literally just lifting and running 3x a week.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      This, do SS and a bit of cardio/ hiking with a pack.
      Enjoy sitting down and facing out.

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    mate we already got one afg thread up dont screw it up.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Scam da tax system bruz, also call in sick anytime a natural emergency happens

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    i respect your commitment to joining something larger than yourself. you will do great things for your country, and your country will thank you for your service. i'm not familiar with the physical requirements for the australian army, but i imagine it's similar to the US army. get good at running, push ups, pull up, and following orders.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >joining something larger than yourself.
      Aka being a stooge for the glowies kek

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous
  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    choc here

    focus on getting past DFR and enlisting. that in itself is a big fuckfight. depending how honest you are about your mental and physical issues. lie through your teeth and milk defence dry. don't be that cunt who tells them about how he had eczma, asthma, wet the bed, sprained his ankle when he was 8 and now needs to get signed off my multiple specialists, get x-rays of his foreskin so that he MIGHT have a chance of getting a medical waiver. if they can't see it or it isn't an issue to you currently don't talk about it.

    the PTIs are strict af on form with pushups, but dont worry you dont need to pass the BFA at kapooka. I remember doing 70+ when i went through and they only counted 35, it was a bit of a gut check for their standards.

    I wouldnt really worry too much about fitness going in, thats only part of it.

    theres some good youtube stuff out there noduff industries and the how to survive kapooka series which focus on army life and shit youll need to learn.

    once you enlist and are in the RIC try to get a bit of time with weapons handling, drill and other soldier skills. mine didnt give a fuck and just wanted to get people on courses and get them out of the ric.

    my reply is all over the place so ill end it here.

    tl;dr: unless you have enlisted you have bigger fish to fry than your fitness, not saying don't try to improve it just giving you a headsup.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      What city are you from

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Regional NSW

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          you wanna hang out? I'm in chester hill

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Sydney

        Pic is my current body but hoping I can cut hard before BT starts up. Don’t want to get shit on again

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          bro they’ll turn you away at the door

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            he'd drop 5-10kg at kapooka, srs.
            just dont touch the ice cream machines or go for backups lol.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          There was way worse in my basic platoon man, focus on passing the physical rather then looking like you can pass the physical

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          fuck me
          if that was your room at kapooka your secco would have an episode.

          another thing is your room, bed, locker, desk etc has to be squared away. I have memories of this autistic LCPL who was subbing in one night running a gloved finger over edges of doors and frames, i think he was trying to reference black books or something.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            haha, man autistic seccos seems to be a universal experience. We left a window open when we went to dinner once and when we came back every single bed was flipped haha. Its good fun in retrospect, made for some solid warries. Got sinking ships another time, with only like 4 minutes to get our shit across the hallway, they had to pause it cause some cunt threw a bayonet like a shuriken across the hall haha. basic awesome man as long as you embrace it, and just understand that you're getting paid just to do retarded shit for like 20 minutes at a time.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              based. so much bizarre shit has happened on my courses lol.

              i remember this one chick got her arse chewed out by a secco for smirking and shaking her head at him dismissively after getting mildly chipped for something small like a towel or whatever during pt bondi/showers.

              she runs off crying and in hysterics after it, he's like whatever cunt, have a sook.

              brass strips gets called, he goes: has anyone seen recruit so and so?

              random recruit answers that they last saw her running towards the stairs(our lines were at the top of the alpha company lines near the cinema).

              secco goes white and runs off towards the stairs, everyones like wtf. dawns on everyone that he thinks she'd off herself and is now freaking out about the consequences.

              turns out she'd come back and was crying in the bathrooms.

              other notable mentions include the cunt who shat in the showers and stomped it down the drains, was made to get up in front of both platoons before the grenade range by these WOs and explain himself. he was quietly removed a few days later lol

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Man thats fucked. I used to be on SALS so I know the struggle.
                there's so many stories man I don't know where to begin. We had this one chick out field who I guess didn't want to shit in a portaloo so she'd go shit in front of those cement trenches at night. she got away with it once or twice since who the fuck is actually looking out on picket, but then someone stepped in shit on a cleaning patrol. They then got her on the nvgs doing it again even though she knew they were onto her.
                One of our sections was also a complete shit fight, and it seemed every shitcunt in the platoon was in this one group. they smashed a window play fighting each other ACP by throwing a helmet out of it. Out field the 3 gunners in the section were the shittest three and we had one night of torrential rain. the following morning they couldn't be fucked cleaning their gats and their 2ic came over and saw the barrels literally COATED in orange rust and started screaming at them, which brought their secco over. He did an inspection and 6/10 of their gats had rust, including all 3 minimis. they had to crawl up and down the trenchline through the mud back and forth for an hour while their secco kept screaming "6 RUSTY GUNS, FUCK ME". Its a bit of a meme amongst those of us still together in the units.
                Man basic was awesome man, never a day without something fucking hilarious happening.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I found out at marchout that two of my RECs had been fucking out field. Absolutely disgusting, her puss would have been so gross.

                Animals, the lot of you. Even the Secos were grossed out

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          the chinamaan will destroy you

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks frens for all the help,
      I'm obviously not going to join as I am now, gonna get IST and sort it out all next year

      >physical issues
      No idea what it is but I'm allergic to something (dermatographia) and need to take a Cetirizine Hydrochloride (Zyrtec) every other day, would this be a problem?

      Also can't rotate my right arm all the way because I broke my arm ages ago, but they don't need to know that. I don't think its that bad

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I don't know anything about your skin condition, but if its chocs and the medication is just a pill or something I don't think it'd be a huge issue.
        But yeah don't tell them about your shoulder if you can do pushups and hold a rifle.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Zyrtec
          just looked at it, yeah man I don't see a problem. Just downplay the issue, and bring extra shit to basic for if they don't give you enough.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >rifle
          whats the aug like?
          I have a few hunting/target guns so I think I will be a good shot when it comes down to that

          >Don’t tell them shit
          Wrong, the government can cross check Medicare claims data against your declaration.

          arm was in 2006 lol

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Don’t tell them shit, I knew a guy who got knocked back because he told them he wet the bed once as an adult.
        Start the process ASAP it takes fucking ages.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Don’t tell them shit
          Wrong, the government can cross check Medicare claims data against your declaration.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            The process isn't that advanced, trust me. If you lie they won't know.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              The ADF will know when you apply for a higher level security clearance, be mindful of this limitation on your career if you go down that path

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    As a non normie considering army reserve, Do the positive experiences outweigh the bullying?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      kapooka and IETs has a bit of it but positives are good.

      if some regie cunt picks on you at your unit just remember he is a fucking nobody in the real world, chocs is LARPING and he's getting off to having the tiniest bit of power. some of the gayest fucking NCOs and officers work the shittest jobs like groundskeepers, cooks, cleaners etc and are salty that some private who is a tradie is making megabux.

      of course there are times you need to be switched on like when at the range, on exercises, courses etc.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      There were lots of autists when I was in (mainly cunts from Canberra). I didn’t see anyone get bullied who didn’t deserve it. Lots of weird cunts who clearly joined thinking that
      Army would turn them into something they weren’t. If that’s you don’t join.

      If you can hide your power level, not be a bag if shit and be basically competent you can make some good mates, do some fun things and have some good life experiences. Chocs is basically a hobby though which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but something to keep in mind and set your expectations.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Good thread. funny I was thinking of joining when I was fresh out of school but was a complete skelly dyel. So thats part of what started me on the road to getting IST. Have no intention of doing it now but does sound pretty fun still.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Y’all sound like a bunch of lids who’ve only been on op covid

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Y’all
      seppos out

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Are you vaxxed?

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Can I join the reserves if I'm 32, unvaxxed and have a criminal record? My cardio is shit but I hit 2/3/4/5. I'm confident I can get my cardio up in no time. I also have a masters degree but my field is pozzed and want to do something new

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