Is killing coons good for gains?

My property is littered with these fucking thriving assholes. They come and night and break into my and steal my shit. They are lazy too, sleep all day. Should I kill a few? Maybe fry em for cheap protein?

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Befriend them. Then start a dojo and teach them all to do karate moves. Give them honorable names and invite them over to dinner while they wear small karate clothes. Live a happy life ever after.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I was going to say yes, but then I realized you meant racoons.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    don't eat raccoon meat, you're going to get a tapeworm

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I love raccoons. No lie.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Same. I really want to keep one as a pet. They're just so cute. Maybe someday

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        just buy a pomeranian

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’ve got one trapped in a cage out back right now. I’m waiting till dark so I can drive him somewhere else to release.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Thank you fren, a local park will suffice. Please don't drop me off on MLK Blvd as I FUCKING HATE moronS

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Coons killin' coons

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      When you relocate that raccoon, it will be unfamiliar with the new area and thus unfamiliar with the best foraging and den sites. If it does stumble upon some of these high-value sites, it's going to have to fight the already established raccoon population for access to them. During this process, it is already going to be at a disadvantage due to stress. It's likely that it will not survive, and if it does it will almost certainly be worse off in the end. Even if it does survive, then you really haven't solved any problem, just pushed it off onto some other person that'll have to deal with one more raccoon digging through their trash. Meanwhile, at your house, the vacancy in the local population of raccoons will quickly be filled by a young dispersing raccoon from somewhere else or one of the offspring of a local raccoon. You did check to make sure it wasn't female, right? They are still caring for their litters right now. All this is assuming it doesn't just wander back, as they're very good at doing. You'll have to take it 10+ miles away to have a hope of it staying gone for good.
      Just brain the fucker with a .22 and slow cook it with some sweet potatoes.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        No you misunderstand, I relocated it to spread strife and suffering within the wider raccoon population.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Good. Letting nature do the dirty work. If only I could get a camera showing its death.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, i'm aware of all this. But I live in Canada and don't own a gun. I would just drown the fuckers in a barrel of water but the wife and daughter are dead set on live trapping and relocating.

        As for the new ones returning to the space, yeah, that's a problem. But it takes a while for the new ones to find my duck coop, and I just catch them too.

        It's an ongoing battle, I export, others move in, I export, others move in, etc.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      isis it in a swimming pool

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Don't eat black people, it's still canibalism

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Great, another thinly veiled racist thread

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You’d be an idiot to still not be racist in 2022

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why? Judging people based on their skin color is bad.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Exactly. Judge people by the content of their character instead. I’m sure your outlook will change.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            When discussing issues that involve entire societies of people no one has time to parse each and every individual the way we would in our personal lives m8.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Judge people by the content of their character instead.

            What? That's not something a racist would say, are you trolling me?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Judge people by the content of their character instead.

          What? That's not something a racist would say, are you trolling me?

          You don't know how racists think, he wasn't trolling you

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    They will dig up the gopher tortoise eggs so I like to keep their numbers as low as possible but I have never seen one in my fig, pear, or citrus trees etc. which is more than I can say about most animals.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I have a mother and 3 kits who come on my porch at night and eat what remains of the cat food, I hang out with them sometimes. How bad is this for the raccoons and me?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Probably not a big deal but as a rule it is best to give wild animals as little contact as possible with humans and if you have to come in contact with them you should try to scare and frighten them.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I love raccoons so fucking much
    >have hands
    > use them to steal trash
    >god gave them domino masks
    Bro please

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    please dont hurt racoon

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wake up every morning a shoot at least one with my shotgun. Fuck these guys. My dog once ate one of the dead ones and got sick so now I burn their bodies with gas so he won’t die from their rancid meat.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I like them but they have grown too numerous due to their dumpster diving aptitude. They must be kept in check.

      Domestic felines have been responsible for more environmental damage though. Cats have fucked our wildlife more than anything else imho.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      maybe be a responsible pet owner and don’t let your dog eat dead animals.

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Yes. Hunting raises T a shit ton. You’re also doing the community a favor. I don’t recommend eating them, because of their shitty diet. Definitely keep the skins and make a coat for IST trips or something. If it gets too easy start hunting Chicago coons, you’ll do an even better service for the community.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      The problem with eating them is warbles which shouldn't be an issue after the first frost.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Based. How can I support them in their endeavours? Just breed some really big fuckers?

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You could literally just vibrate correctly and the raccoons will stop giving you shit, Jesus kid don’t you know anything about manifesting your Golden Timeline aka Git Gud Sonny

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