ITT: Retarded shit you did when you first started lifting

Post the dumbest ideas you had way back when you had virtually no fitness knowledge but decided you wanted to get huge. I'll go first:
>freshman in college
>6' 130lb skeleton at the time, wanted to start working out
>genuinely thought doing 20 pushups and 20 sit-ups once a day would get me shredded in a matter of months
>lived in a dorm room at the time, my roommate would sometimes walk in on my shirtless on the floor struggling to complete my sit-up
>I knew the basics of "eating big to get big" but I had virtually zero understanding of protein intake
>thought protein was like caffeine and that you were supposed to eat it immediately before working out for energy
>went to the dining hall and ate 2-3 huge slices of pizza every night for dinner, thought that was enough to build muscle
>ordered creatine powder online, accidently bought this disgusting synthetic raspberry flavor because I didn't know they had flavors, ate one scoop and never touched it again
>after only a few weeks I'd gained a ton of fat and no noticeable muscle definition (shocker) which scared me away from lifting for nearly a year
>all this time my university had an amazing gym facility that I was too embarrassed to use
>I would regularly go to the locker room, change into gym clothes, and try to psych myself up only to panic and leave without working out
Post your stories.

  1. 2 weeks ago

    >Retarded shit you did
    started lifting at 26 when I could've started at 21

  2. 2 weeks ago

    Started lifting at 17 and quit at 21 because for the first time some roastie had visible interest in me and i didnt know how to handle it. Luckily my arms are still toned at the gym and my shoulders are broad from labour work. At 26 i start again.

  3. 2 weeks ago

    Took the Path of Iron and did SS+GOMAD and shot up from 140 to about 180 during the year from hell. Cut back down to 150 after I was back at work. Bulking consistently is fuckin hard man.

  4. 2 weeks ago

    I did deadlifts in the smith machine
    come to think of it I still do

  5. 2 weeks ago

    Literally only ate beef mince wraps x3 a day, that was it. No veggies, sides, nothing else. Got so fucking constipated.

    • 2 weeks ago

      Bulking horror stories could be its own thread tbh. For the span of two months I ate this disgusting deep dish pizza for dinner every day. It was over 2,000 calories per slice. It had an entire 6 pack of Italian sausage plus all the grease, a pound of whole milk mozzarella, a stick of butter melted in the sauce AND another one in the dough, 2 scoops of protein powder in the dough, and other things I can't bear to remember.

      • 2 weeks ago

        Found an old pic. Here I am adding the finishing touch: 2 tbsp cup of olive oil poured directly on top. I wish I had a picture of the cross section saved, it was nasty.

      • 2 weeks ago

        How much did you weigh back then? And why were you having the same nasty greasezza every day kek. Was it the only thing u knew how to cook?

        • 2 weeks ago

          I weighed about 160. By the end of my bulk I was around 185.
          >Was it the only thing u knew how to cook?
          No lol, I love cooking. But I was in university at the time, so my daily schedule was basically wake up, eat breakfast, work out, then go to campus for 10 hours, come home and eat dinner. I needed something I could prep ahead of time that was extremely calorie dense.

          • 2 weeks ago

            25lbs in 2 months damn. I wouldn't be able to stomach that diet. Overly greasy food makes me feel gross afterwards. One time (the fattest guy on the friend group) invited us to eat his curry. I knew he liked frying stuff but I've never seen so much oil be used in a curry before. I couldn't eat any oil for a few days after because it reminded me too much of that meal. Was somehow greasier than deep fried food, think about how much oil was in it

  6. 2 weeks ago

    > first time resistance training at 30
    > did full body barbell workout with deadlift, squat, ohp, bench and rows.
    > did a few warmup sets to find my "1rm" and did 5x5 to failure after that in all excercies.
    > added some curls afterwards because gains
    > drank a protein shake afterwards
    > body more or less shut down next days
    > piss the color of bbq sauce
    > everything either hurt, felt swollen or tingling like they fell asleep
    > fever and nausea
    > took 10 days to recover
    > went back and did exact same workout
    > felt minor muscle ache the next 48 hours

    Stupid as hell but I was pretty fucking amazing how quickly the body adapted from "I'm dying" to "ok just chill for a day and we are okay for this again"

  7. 2 weeks ago

    >in college
    >run SS up to 315 squat
    >decidd to cut
    >eat at a 1000 cal deficit while continuing to drink, eat poptarts and not sleep enough
    >black out under a 200lb bench press
    >pic related

  8. 2 weeks ago

    I didn't know how important protein intake was, I was still eating my parents shitty diet of pasta with tomato sauce for 85% of meals but I thought the 2 eggs I was eating was enough. I did those YouTube workout where it's basically cardio, 45 seconds of an exercise and 15 seconds rest before moving to the next one. I thought that if you worked out fasted the body would burn fat and if you ate right after it would ceate muscle. I was eating as little as possible and avoiding carbs because I thought they were evil. So I was essentially doing HIIT every morning fasted while on a cut for maybe 30-45 minutes, then would go downstairs and eat my 2 boiled eggs. "Yep that's enough protein for the day, at this rate I'll get shredded in no time"

    • 2 weeks ago

      I remember one time I couldn't see the color green after the exercise, it was just this weird gray. I'm pretty sure I was about to pass out that day kek

  9. 2 weeks ago

    I would stuff my face and eat more because I lifted that day, but I was eating ungodly amounts of food, didn't even know what bulking or cutting was, but for instance I would have a JJ gargantuan for lunch (with bacon) and 2 Chipotle Burritos for dinner. This was before they gave you shrunk mini burritos, the big dogs. Anyway I couldn't cut and couldn't figure out why. Now that I know a bit about cico and other stuff I have lost 45 lbs, even though I still could eat a lot more, I just don't. I hope my appetite goes away soon. Its been 6 months and I still feel I could eat an entire pizza no biggie

    • 2 weeks ago

      I have been lifting on/off since I was 13 though, so I really didn't do anything dumb lifting when I was younger because I was always trained properly, and played multiple travel sports growing up.

      So I guess the dumbest thing I did was sacrifice gains for other dumbass shit in life like video games, bar life, etc-- that being said I'm glad I'm not a full on bodybuilder who drinks egg whites every day because those people are not well rounded and a lost cause. I have no aspirations of having a 6 pack, just wanna be a hot dad now

  10. 2 weeks ago

    I literally just did 4x10 for every exercise besides abs and calf raises lmao

    progress was nonexistent for like 2 years

    • 2 weeks ago

      Why? Beginner here, too. I thought that's an acceptable rep range (although a bit on the high end).
      What's better? 3x8? 5x5?

      • 2 weeks ago

        4x10 is excellent.
        You just likely wouldnt do it for you biggest compound lifts. He's either trolling or was destroying himself trying to max out on deadlifts every second day or whatever

    • 2 weeks ago

      biggest mistake I see beginners make is they avoid freeweights and try to focus on biceps for big arms.

  11. 2 weeks ago

    >be me in HS
    >6"5 with a linebacker-ass build that made the football coach personally tell me he wanted me on the team
    >just joined weights class, no prior lifting experience
    >squat is substantially lower than everyone else's despite the fact that I was way stronger than them
    >I was squatting maybe 95lbs and struggling with it while lanklets and other kids who were just as new as I was were easily pulling 135+
    >couldn't understand why I was doing so terribly and not making any progress
    >it was because I thought you weren't supposed to let the bar touch your neck, so I was holding it up like a tricep extension instead
    >worked out this way for several weeks before anybody noticed and told me what I was doing wrong

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *