Lads. I’m not being funny. I’ve been on a 3 day drinking and cocaine bender. I haven’t shit in days and I really need a piss. Been laid in bed all day and when I stood up I noticed my belly was very distended. Look at it. I look worse than fucking pearanon right now. I am 140 lbs of pure fat and I reckon a good 10 lbs is shit and piss and water retention around my body that’s struggling to purge my body of water because my heart is about to shit the bed. Good grief.