My boss just offered me a huge fudge brownie slice.

My boss just offered me a huge fudge brownie slice.
If I eat it, I get social standing points and I'm more relatable to him which would make working easier and me more sucessful in the long run.
If I don't eat it, I'm a tryhard gymcel who thinks he's better than everyone so my body will look good, but now my boss will subconsciously look for ways to make my job harder and put me in my place.

What should I do. It looks tasty too

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Start eating, say enough for now, take rest with you home. Throw away or eat.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/gV1EjHa.png

      My boss just offered me a huge fudge brownie slice.
      If I eat it, I get social standing points and I'm more relatable to him which would make working easier and me more sucessful in the long run.
      If I don't eat it, I'm a tryhard gymcel who thinks he's better than everyone so my body will look good, but now my boss will subconsciously look for ways to make my job harder and put me in my place.

      What should I do. It looks tasty too

      *and compliment while tasting/eating.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      There is no container to put it

      Boss: anon i brought some good brownie if you want one
      Anon: No thank you
      Boss: Ok, more for me haha
      *life goes on*

      Op is, as always, a gay

      That's not how the real world works according to the 48 laws of power. You either eat it and be a member of the pack or you don't and you solidify yourself as an enemy

      why would you not eat it, if you're worried about calories just do more cardio later.

      It's just food, it'll help your muscles more than hurt them. But you should always say no to alcohol when offered though. When I get handed a glass of wine at a party I wash it down the bathroom sink when no one's looking.

      I have bad habits when it comes to sweets. If I eat this brownie I'm likely to eat the next sweet that comes my way. I've been doing good since last Friday.

      https://i.imgur.com/kqaVTFu.jpg

      Eat it and then throw up by putting your finger in your mouth, just like the supermodels do.

      I'd rather not

      third option: your boss doesn't really give a frick as you're just a lowly peasant underling to him, he's only offering you a slice because he learned in his fancy university that plebs require bread and circus on occasions to work at best capacity. The moment you take the slice off his hand he will forget about it.

      Could be. He talks to me a bit more personally than the other employees. I'm sort of his right hand man as he comes to me for important tasks and I make him look good on all my presentations. Another 48 laws of power trick. This is his way of seeing how much power he has over me. I also told him I'm intermittent fasting this year. So it's sabotage via kindness. Another 48 law of power trick.

      >pic related the brownie. It's huge and looks so good

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >48 laws of power

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Yes. I've found the book to be very helpful in my career. Learning how to play the social game to make you and your superiors look good and how to subtlety make your peers look worse to make yourself look better. That's why I'm his right hand man and the next likely Area Manager in about 5 years (would make me a relatively young area manager as most are either 40 and up, id be 35 at this rate)

          Autism must fricking suck huh? I lift and I'm on a bit of a diet right now cuz im an ex-fatty but even I go out and drink with my friends. It's just 500 calories, if you're taller than 5'6" thats not a lot.

          I dont have autism, but I've been called autistic by some online. Nobody in real life thinks I'm autistic. I've always been fine without such labels. 500 is almost 1/3rd of my TDEE after subtracting 500. I'm eating only 1500 calories a day.

          That's a quarter (or more) of your daily intake if you're cutting/losing weight and its all empty calories

          Yup. Delicious empty calories

          jesus fricking christ youre autistic as shit, just fricking eat it and eat less during dinner.

          I'd love to say I'd eat less for dinner. But if I eat this brownie. That's basically my dinner.

          You homosexual do you believe everything some shitty book tells you? You must be autistic. Just refuse it, there's no way this guy thinks of this shit any further than that

          I'm telling you my boss is a very calculated man. I watch his every move and he let's me in on some of his power plays he makes to get things done. Dropping subtle hints to make people do what he wants them to do in a way that makes it their idea. It's basic manipulation 101 and also in the 48 laws. That's why I know this scenario doesn't end well if I don't eat the brownie.

          do you have to go on the olympia stage next week? if not you are mentally ill if one piece of cake worries you this much

          I just want abs. I'm so close yet so far away. Every day I dont eat -500 TDEE is basically a wasted day of starvation and willpower expended earlier in the week.

          Seems like the optimal path would be to just pretend to eat it though. I'll have to come up with a way to eat 2 to 3 bites that are convincing enough to make the rest of the brownie disappear when he's not looking

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            you should unironically seek professional health, you have an eating disorder

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Because I'm eating 500 under maintenance? That's the standard

              If your boss goes to the bathroom, you have a golden opportunity to hide it

              Yeah. I got the gamelan figured out. I'll place it on a paper towel. Eat a bite where he can see me chewing. And another one where he's not sort of looking. Then ill wait till hes not looking and is typing on the computer fold up half the brownie and put it in my pocket. Then I'll joke that I'm stuffed but I could keep going. Then when he asks about my diet I'll make another joke about how there's always room for cake and eat one last bite. The next time he's not looking ill have the rest of the last half in my other pocket.

              3 bites + Couple good jokes for social standing. That shouldn't set me back too far. I'll do an extra 30minutes of cardio to compensate

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            If your boss goes to the bathroom, you have a golden opportunity to hide it

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Autism must fricking suck huh? I lift and I'm on a bit of a diet right now cuz im an ex-fatty but even I go out and drink with my friends. It's just 500 calories, if you're taller than 5'6" thats not a lot.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          That's a quarter (or more) of your daily intake if you're cutting/losing weight and its all empty calories

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            that sucks then. Guess you wont be having a big dinner? Brother when I go out I drink atleast 500 cals worth of booze but I dont gain weight or anything, I just dont eat a large dinner and its all good.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Based giga autist
        reminder that we autists will never climb any social ladder btw

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        jesus fricking christ youre autistic as shit, just fricking eat it and eat less during dinner.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        You homosexual do you believe everything some shitty book tells you? You must be autistic. Just refuse it, there's no way this guy thinks of this shit any further than that

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >inb4 theres a post in /adv/ about a cute autistic guy at work not eating the brownie I gave him

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >be me
            >offer my twink bottom b***h homie emplyee brownies for lunch
            >doesnt eat it
            Does he even love me?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        don't listen to the gays here
        you're doing good analyzing all this
        i'd just eat it and balance it out later
        man it up

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I bet you would.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Just add some kindling to the autism fire that is your life....

        >Eat it
        >Tell boss it was delicious
        >Shoot the shit about baking and desserts
        >Boss sees this as a sign to bake more for the team to boost morale
        >OP now has to eat homemade baked goods every Friday or suffer the social consequences

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Boss: anon i brought some good brownie if you want one
    Anon: No thank you
    Boss: Ok, more for me haha
    *life goes on*

    Op is, as always, a gay

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    why would you not eat it, if you're worried about calories just do more cardio later.

    It's just food, it'll help your muscles more than hurt them. But you should always say no to alcohol when offered though. When I get handed a glass of wine at a party I wash it down the bathroom sink when no one's looking.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Eat it and then throw up by putting your finger in your mouth, just like the supermodels do.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    third option: your boss doesn't really give a frick as you're just a lowly peasant underling to him, he's only offering you a slice because he learned in his fancy university that plebs require bread and circus on occasions to work at best capacity. The moment you take the slice off his hand he will forget about it.

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Eat it, then throw it up in the bathroom. Easy peasy.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Do that movie thing where you pretend to eat it but actually shove it up your sleeve or into your pocket
    Later yeet it into the trash

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I'm just picturing you pulling out your phone mid conversation with your boss as he offers you a brownie, making this thread and just standing there like a statue waiting for a good reply as your boss and coworkers just stare at you.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      He told me to have one if I want one. I told him I'll have one during lunch. So I have some time to decide, but I know how power dynamics work. I basically have no choice but to take one. Might eat one bite and then try to find a trash can outside our building and dump it with some papers. This thing has to be at least 500 calories

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Stuff it in your mouth pretend to swallow it , don't immediately go to throw it away though they get suspicious.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Eat it
    >Work even harder at the gym to compensate
    Simple as.

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    do you have to go on the olympia stage next week? if not you are mentally ill if one piece of cake worries you this much

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Eat it then adjust your diet/exercise accordingly to compensate for it.

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    its a test, eat it then eat his then suck him off and sue him for sexual misconduct.. your welcome

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It will make no difference.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Eat it and skip a snack tomorrow

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I have gotten so much shit for dieting at work it's crazy. I don't know what it is about my old job at had but someone on a weekly basis is bringing in fricking cupcakes, cookies, donutsss. I always go, I can't I'm fasting and everyone thinks I'm moronic.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Exactly you start to look like an enemy to everyone. Then they start telling jokes
      >oh don't bother asking anon he's on a DiEt
      >I shouldn't eat this anon, it's 300 calories but you can't outrun a fat belly
      >I was planning on taking the team to lunch. I figured you wouldn't want to go so I didn't invite you. Peer 1 and peer 2 went though and we had a good time. good luck on your diet
      Then you start to realize that peer 1 and peer 2 are getting more projects, attention, and salary bonuses than you.

      It really is a slippery slope and I noticed it right away at another location. Not surprisingly I was let go when business conditions were bad even though I could have easily taken another role.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Yea but I worked at a unionized factory so all this social ladder bullshit really wasn't even something I had to consider so I could bask in my fasting autism in peace.

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