Please help me find a reason to get motivated to self-improve

I spend all my waking hours on the pc/phone. i dont sleep more than 5-6 hours a night. binge eat junk food, have gained 100lbs. dont shower, dont brush teeth, dont groom, dont have clean clothes, i piss in bottles why i lay down and piss over myself sometimes by accident and still keep laying down. i just dont care at all, seriously. i am 28 years old. used to be popular, used to be a normie and etc.

everytime i try to turn my life around i do it because i want to have be liked by other people, have friends and get a girlfriend. but i always give up immediatelly when it gets boring, which it does after a few hours.

people tell me that i should be doing it for myself but... i dont get it? why would i want to suffer for myself? and i dont get the noble aspect of it all, these motivations will not work. have read loads of books, philosophy, man search for meaning, myth of sissypuss, aurelius's meditation (narcissistic verbal onanism if you ask me).

i am genuinely asking, please help me understand, why am i not motivated?

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't care. I love watching people turn into failures, gives me pleasure.

    I made 5k today and went to the gym

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >shadenfraude
      typical for narcs
      >i enjoy labor
      good for you

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        *Schadenfreude

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Way too vague and romantic for my mind.
        I appreciate your efforts (as long as you are not just trying to save yourself through me).
        Here is how it goes down usually:
        >Okay no computer today
        >Six hours passed by and I'm doing bullshit activities like walking, cleaning up my room, fixing stuff, showering grooming, socializing, all this time not enjoying any of it and deep down knowing I'm not enjoying it
        >the thought of living my life like this forever scares me and I give up

        >boo hoo Im so smart i learned to hate myself
        Just kys
        Seriously
        Youll be better off dead you disgusting waste of space
        Kys now

        • 2 months ago
          OP

          Im scared to do it, edgy teen

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lmfao sure ya did. Nothing but success on IST.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    like, why would i want to do things i dont like (which is literally everything outside of passing time on the pc) and find boring and how is it "for myself"?

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    These sound like classic descriptors for ADHD. Go get checked out by a doctor. Also start a new physical hobby that gets you out. Hiking, lifting, martial arts, marathons, ect. This will help you start on the right path.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >muh mental illness
      nice try dr. basedstein

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's easy. Do you currently love yourself or do you hate yourself? Do you want to love yourself or do you want to hate yourself? If you hate yourself and continue to hate yourself then what is the point of going on? If you choose to live then you must choose to love yourself. It's simple logic. If you love yourself you take care of yourself. We are physical creatures first and foremost. Improving your physical health improves absolutely everything else in your life. If you can't love yourself no one else can. You need to back yourself because no one else will. Eventually you will be fit and strong, then as a man it is your responsibility to lift up those who are not strong enough to lift themselves up. In my small country over 3000 men commit suicide every year. We have to be strong enough to carry their burdens because they are currently not strong enough to do it themselves. That is what being a man is. Time to man up.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Way too vague and romantic for my mind.
      I appreciate your efforts (as long as you are not just trying to save yourself through me).
      Here is how it goes down usually:
      >Okay no computer today
      >Six hours passed by and I'm doing bullshit activities like walking, cleaning up my room, fixing stuff, showering grooming, socializing, all this time not enjoying any of it and deep down knowing I'm not enjoying it
      >the thought of living my life like this forever scares me and I give up

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I was like you. I admit I still spend too much time on my phone but I am actively working to improve a few aspects of my life all the time. Last year I was textbook skinny fat, picrel on the left is after a few weeks of dieting too. The pic on the right is a couple weeks ago. Yeah I know I'm still under-muscled but I have gone from being ashamed to leave my house to genuinely loving my body. I was seriously struggling in the past and my situation was made worse with insomnia for a lot of last year. Insomnia is like Chinese water torture in that it isn't that bad at first but it eventually wears you down to nothing. After a while I kind of accepted that it wouldn't get better and I would just have to kill myself. I won't lie and say I didn't do it for some noble reason, the truth is I was too scared to do it. So without that option in my back pocket the only option was to improve my life. Getting to where I am now in my fitness journey (which still has a long way to go) has improved my life immensely. I feel good about myself for the first time in almost a decade. I actually get mired when I'm out and about. I feel confident all the time and so I can now try to do the things that I've always wanted to do and it doesn't bother me if I fail the first time, or the second time or the third time because I know I have my health and my body is tight. It is truly an awesome feeling. Some of my friends are in your situation and I'm trying to help them because I know how hard it is to start because I was there too. I know it's not as simple as just getting down and doing some pushups, you have to get yourself in the right position mentally to go through with this. I'll admit I now work out for vanity but when I started it was because I didn't want to either live a life of suffering or kill myself. I chose to live.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Let me just clarify. I didn't read your entire post carefully. I have never pissed in a bottle nor pissed all over myself and lay in it. Also I always showered and always wore clean clothes. I meant I was like you in terms of not working out, eating poorly and wasting my time. You are pretty disgusting mate. I think this goes beyond fitness.

          • 2 months ago
            OP

            I was like you. I admit I still spend too much time on my phone but I am actively working to improve a few aspects of my life all the time. Last year I was textbook skinny fat, picrel on the left is after a few weeks of dieting too. The pic on the right is a couple weeks ago. Yeah I know I'm still under-muscled but I have gone from being ashamed to leave my house to genuinely loving my body. I was seriously struggling in the past and my situation was made worse with insomnia for a lot of last year. Insomnia is like Chinese water torture in that it isn't that bad at first but it eventually wears you down to nothing. After a while I kind of accepted that it wouldn't get better and I would just have to kill myself. I won't lie and say I didn't do it for some noble reason, the truth is I was too scared to do it. So without that option in my back pocket the only option was to improve my life. Getting to where I am now in my fitness journey (which still has a long way to go) has improved my life immensely. I feel good about myself for the first time in almost a decade. I actually get mired when I'm out and about. I feel confident all the time and so I can now try to do the things that I've always wanted to do and it doesn't bother me if I fail the first time, or the second time or the third time because I know I have my health and my body is tight. It is truly an awesome feeling. Some of my friends are in your situation and I'm trying to help them because I know how hard it is to start because I was there too. I know it's not as simple as just getting down and doing some pushups, you have to get yourself in the right position mentally to go through with this. I'll admit I now work out for vanity but when I started it was because I didn't want to either live a life of suffering or kill myself. I chose to live.

            Even if I get in shape I'll never be mired because I'm bald, have scarns and moles on head

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          sick transformation? what is your routine and diet, please?

          • 2 months ago
            OP

            Why does everyone always ask these questions
            He ate less, moved more

    • 2 months ago
      OP

      To further discuss, I am not my body. I am my mind, I don't care if my body is filthy, I still love myself, which is my thoughts. My legs are just as me as a chair, or a window

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Don't fall into the "meat robot" train of thought. Body and soul are deeply intertwined reflections of one another. And even if they truly were two separate entities, why wouldn't you want a strong body to be your earthly vessel?

        • 2 months ago
          OP

          >Why wouldn't you want a strong body
          I don't need it anon. To maintain it I need to struggle, and there are no benefits to it. My mind works just the same with or without extra 17% of body fat

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            You're 100% wrong though. Try eating healthy and getting outside and coming back to say that your brain works the same as it did 17% bf ago.

            The mood benefits of exercise are incredibly well established. You sound like you think your intellect does all the decision making in your life. This is not the case; try to emotionally understand why you do things. You have to let yourself experience life to do so. I think going on walks in nature alone with no phone would do you good. It can get better and your consciousness lies in a body my man

            • 2 months ago
              OP

              I ride a bicycle daily for at least 30 minutes, before that I walked for at least an hour few times a week, still fat because diet is shit.
              I understand that neurochemistry plays a part in mold, yes, and even though I understand that, I have so far quit everytime.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I think at this level of apathy, you really need to talk to a professional.
    Even doing that is going to be very difficult for you I suspect (not trying to be mean, just factual), so gather literally every ounce of willpower you have to get to a doctor. If you can't do that, get someone else to force you to go to one.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ive been to at least seven psychologists until I learned my lesson to trust my gut and not talk to women about adult things so I switched to a male psychologist who actually helps me. He has helped me with my hypochondria somewhat but that's about it. Like you said, doubt he is going to help me forget how vain and boring real life is

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Have you told him about the severity of the apathetic behavior? As in point for point just dropping everything you posted here? That may change how he approaches your issues.
        Anyway, I meant to suggest moreso that you might need medication, not just to talk to someone about your feelings. You might have some misgivings about trying that route but it's probably a better choice than being miserable all of the time.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I most certainly have adhd, depression and anxiety, probably bipolar too, all confirmed and suggested by professionals but I'll never take meds. Seen enough meta analysis that shows how lethal they are. Drank SSRI for 8 months and now I have bitch tits and my balls are shriveled to the size of cherries

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >hypochondria
        doesnt that mean that deep down you really want to be fit and healthy? yet you live like you dont.
        i struggle a bunch with apathy aswell and i find using stimulants too much makes it worse. how is your caffeine intake? do you smoke/snus? try to set small goals each week, even so small it seems kinda retarded. like wash your clothes 1 time a week(doesnt have to be all your clothes, just one load of clothes). shower atleast once a week. just tiny ass habits you can stick with that involves taking care of yourself.

        • 2 months ago
          OP

          >Baby steps
          Tried but failed, more than ten times
          I guess ill try again

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Just become a MtF already.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I too piss in bottles so I don't have to move from my chair.
    Rest of the stuff, I'm almost the same, except not fat.

    Guys, never piss in a bottle. Once u start, there's no going back.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    fuck you, retard

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >i piss in bottles why i lay down and piss over myself sometimes by accident and still keep laying down
    If this right here isn't motivation enough for you, you're not gonna find any. In fact, fuck you you disgusting degenerate.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >muh social rules and standards
      You are a close minded sheep

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >just open your mind and piss yourself bro!
        Nah bruh I'm sweet, I'll just stick to being a sheep if that's the definition we're going by.

        • 2 months ago
          OP

          It's a matter of principle

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            moron you piss in bottles because you're too lazy and fat to get up and walk a few feet to the bathroom. You have no principles and you need to stop pretending otherwise.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I was pretty close to being the same as you, and through sheer torturous will power little by little I worked on some of those habits and got a little bit better. But- nothing really changed until I got back on my ADHD meds, so talk to a some professionals, your brain is not like normal people's. Normal people (like some of them replying to you) can't empathize because they don't find getting the motivation to do this stuff hard like we do. Idk if you have ADHD, but you definitely have something that you're not gonna fix on your own, you'd have fixed them years ago if you could do it by yourself. Working out was one of the few things I could do actually but it involved homegym with a bodyweight setup and a ton of shitposting inbetween sets, the workouts took like 4 hours.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >constant sense of tension and anxiety in my chest
    >rush through everything as quickly as possible to get the stress of unfinished things out of the way
    >this is the same for work and for """leisure"""
    >feel nothing when I finish whatever I'm focusing on except more anxiety and regret that I didn't enjoy it
    How the fuck do I fix this? It unironically resulted in life changing injuries a few years ago when I was trying to finish up in the gym ASAP because I was incapable of relaxing and taking my fucking time

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >why would i want to suffer for myself?
    >I want to be liked
    sounds like you like being a loser

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm not motivated
    Enjoy being a loser, forever.

    Watch the whole damn thing

    • 2 months ago
      OP

      Couldn't last three seconds. Doubt these dumbasses have anything to say that's more profound than all the philosophy books I've read.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >That ring
    Sweet as fuck and my favourite thin in childhood.

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Well, you'll feel better after becoming healthy. Of course you give up when you just do it to be liked, such people are fake because they only have motivation to do something when others are watching.

    >why would i want to suffer for myself?
    It's not about that, you don't have to suffer. The point is delayed gratification.

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Genuine question; why don’t you just kill youself?

    If nothing seems worth it to you then why not just give up? Instead of whining about how much you think your life sucks on an exercise board of all places, why not just quit. Instead of counting your blessings and making a genuine effort all you’ve done is make excuses.

    Here’s a news flash for you Mr. Philosophy Reader (but managed to get nothing out of it somehow); maybe, just maybe, if you stopped living like a pathetic piece of shit, you wouldn’t feel like a pathetic piece of shit.

    • 2 months ago
      OP

      I'm afraid to kill myself and I want to be happy. I know it's possible and I'm just a weak-minded bitch but everytime I try I quit. I've been trying for 8 years now

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >i am genuinely asking, please help me understand, why am i not motivated?
    The lack of sleep and junk food will do that. Add cooming to porn to the mix and you're fucked.

    >but i always give up immediatelly when it gets boring, which it does after a few hours.
    It takes up to a week for me to start feeling like getting my shit back together after I slip and stay up late eating goyslopp. You're a target of parasites that want you like this, and it seems like they've got a solid hold on you. Fix your sleep and your diet for a week, and I bet you'll feel like getting out of bed to piss.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >i just dont care at all
    It's depression. It's normal, we live in a fucking retarded society. Try to see a doc, he will help you.

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