Shitting way too much in the morning.

Does anybody else spend 30-45 minutes EVERY goddamn morning shitting? It's like in comes in waves, and if I don't shit out at least 3 Elliot waves, I know that as soon as I'm out the door, or worse - at work, I'm gonna have the urge to shit again. The problem is, it doesn't come out all at 1 time, and I'm sitting there in between waves doing nothing.
I used to sit with my phone, but I was thinking maybe that's the cause of my problems, so I stopped, but 2 months later it's still the same shit, only now it's awfully boring to sit there for 30 mins without a phone for stimulation.
Did anybody else have this problem and how did they fix it? Because I'm honestly worried about getting hemorrhoids from this garbage. Not just losing my own sanity.

I've tried changing my diet and that hasn't worked either. I swear sometimes I'm wondering where all the shit that I shit out comes from. It's like it just keeps shitting and shitting. I eat about 3500 calories a day since I'm in a bulk, 6'3 195 pounds so that couldn't be causing it. But when I was cutting it was the same exact shit. No matter what I do the shit just keeps coming.
I've cut alcohol completely and it's still the same shit. Although I used to be an alcoholic so that might've possibly damaged the gut biome, perhaps I need some pro-prebiotics to fix it. But I just don't know the problem. That's why I'm here, not a doctor, it's fucking embarrassing, next they'll want a fucking stool sample.

Does anybody know?

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You need more fiber

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah but I eat sausages, meat and pasta almost every day, they have plenty of fiber right?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >need more fiber
        >no I don't
        Shit yourself to death brainlet

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Dude, I've ate tons of fiber dense foods in the past, like broccoli, and still had the same problems. I used to eat 1.5 cups of broccoli a day, and still the same shit. But ok, I'll try and drastically up my fiber intake to see if something changes.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            more magnesium and elecrolytes and more water, you're probably dehydrated all the time so your colon takes all the water and leave nothing for the poop = poop rock solid

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              My poop isn't solid though. It's literally 50-50 in the middle between diarrhea and rock solid. Like another suggested, problem might be fiber as well.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                And I drink plenty of water as well. But I drink it from the tap, as I'm too lazy to buy bottled water. Maybe the overconsumption of tap water might be an issue as well.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like my dads mornings. He has colitis. Good luck with that OP.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I've never had any blood or pus in my stools, and aside from the morning bullshit shits, i don't have an urge to go throughout the whole day, after the morning shits are done. I don't think it's colitis, hopefully.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Try removing all fructan and gluten from your diet for a few weeks
    Saved my fucking life, never felt better
    Some people can’t digest fructan and it converts to hydrogen inside you and irritates your intestines
    3 doctors couldn’t figure it out so I just ate rice and chicken for a week then started adding stuff one at a time to find out what was common in fucking me up

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >or worse - at work
    How is that worse? You get paid to shit.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'd rather be working not shitting, I come to work to be productive. Not to mention I work on the roof, so the only options would be using a portapotty - which is disgusting, or driving to a gas station every time.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        This.
        Some people take advantage of "getting paid to shit" and are unironically some of the least productive people, and they wonder why they aren't getting ahead.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Life is full of choices, I chose the shit-at-work-for-money approach and it has been good.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    your landlord must really hate leaky skylights

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    had the same problem. then i got that it was the daily zinc 25mg.

    now i take zinc only every 3-4 day and my shits are back to once a day 2-3 minutes.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Just ordered some zinc on Amazon, let's see what's gonna happen.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Let me guess you drink alcohol every night as well?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      No, I stopped 2 years ago. Now I drink 2-3 times a year max.

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