>Sir, do you have any idea how hard you were bulking?

>Sir, do you have any idea how hard you were bulking?

Ape Out, Gorilla Mindset Shirt $21.68

Rise, Grind, Banana Find Shirt $21.68

Ape Out, Gorilla Mindset Shirt $21.68

  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    No, but my scale does!
    Ayyy!
    >gets shot 47 times

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      dont break the law and you won't get shot and killed. simple as. you dirty fricking criminal. (went 10lbs over the bulk limit)

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I swear it was just ONE Whopper, senpai ;~;

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >"Exhibit A: seventy-three discarded Burger King, Hardee's, and Carls Jr receipts in the floorboard of the defendant's vehicle, spanning the course of five weeks and three days immediately prior to the arrest"

          >jury gasps

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Aw frick

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        BULK LIVES MATTER

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          SAY HIS WEIGHT

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            FULL

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >“BULK AND CUT TOWARDS ME”
        >“w-what?”
        >get shot

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >dirty fricking criminal
        dirty fricking bulker

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >I ain't no clean bulkin leangainer like you. You know, I'm just a bloatmaxxer, I suppose. And I want my calories.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm sorry officer, I- hold on a second...
    >BBBBBBRRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPFFFFFFF
    >I don't know what you're talking about

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Underrated.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >*suddenly moves hand to glove compartment*

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >triglycerides over the legal limit
    >bulking license suspended

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >penis was obscured
      What do you expect? Atleast get a fake penis to stick over the top, it's rare that cops will stop you and check.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >bulking license
      You just know this will be a thing if it isn't already

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        The opposite.
        >oi mate, we lookin a bit fit today aren't we
        >you know the rules, no exercising without a loicense
        >is that WHEY protein in your shaker??

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        The opposite.
        >oi mate, we lookin a bit fit today aren't we
        >you know the rules, no exercising without a loicense
        >is that WHEY protein in your shaker??

        >license to bulk

        >"A protein shake, in a deep shaker bottle. Three scoops vanilla protein powder, one scoop chocolate, and make it up with full fat chocolate milk. Stirred, not shaken."

        Also:
        >You Only Lift Twice
        >Lift And Let Die
        >DYEL Another Day

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          jej

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Casino Royale with Cheese
          >The Man with the Golden Gains
          >From Rippetoe with Love

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Basically was during lockdown
        >gyms closed
        >allowed out for exercise which didn't include any form of exercise
        >only 1 meat product allowed per basket
        Haven't been to sainsbury's since they had a go at me like I was a naughty 6 year old for going in 3 times a day to buy chicken. I called the manager a sad c**t for spying on his customers and accused him of using CCTV to perv on women lol

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I was lucky enough to work from home during covid so most of the lunacy just passed me by. I forgot how fricking moronic the whole world was. The fact there were no mass riots over this shows that there will never be any grassroot evolution. We will be enslaved

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >The fact there were no mass riots over this shows that there will never be any grassroot evolution.
            There were literally tonnes. There was the Truckers convoy which went globally and shut down Ottawa and Tel Aviv, a march in London which 50,000 people attended, near constant riots in Paris (although that probably would've happened without lockdowns tbf), some politicians in Spain and one of the Scandi countries got assaulted, a senior politician somewhere in Europe got kidnapped and one in Germany had to be evacuated because about five hundred people stormed his home, and there was the riots in Australia which almost 100,000 people joined. None of that hit the news because it wasn't convenient for the global media, and when it was broadcast within their respective countries it was always with the condescending "these people are selfish and evil, we're the government and we know best" tone
            Whenever there was a protest the first thing governments did was contain the information. Unless you were on Telegram (I think the channel was called TyrantWatch or something like that, it got shut down by the glowies in late 2021) you would never know that something was happening just the next city over. Twitter, FB, plebbit, local news, national news, etc everything was totally censored.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              ok fair, there were riots but nothing has changed. Truckers got fricked by banks and horses and eventually went home. Nothing really changed, did it ? I think they dropped the covid shit because of the war

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    About 4500 calories a day and 100g of fat a day, officer.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I was at 3300cal and 115g of fat before my cut...I have never been so horny in my life

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know.
    I respectfully don't feel comfortable sharing that.
    I am exercising my right to silence.
    Am I being detained?
    Am I free to go?
    I want a lawyer.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      First two can be used against you.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >"Did you or did you not state to Officer Higgins that you, and I quote "respectfully don't feel comfortable sharing that."?
        >I don't recall

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          You can't he said she said a cop, they'll fricking pull up a video of you saying it right there.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I don't recall

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I don't recall

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Since the defendant has trouble recalling the events. I hereby sentence him to 6 months of mandatory rolling 48s. If you fail to adhere to the fast then you will be imprisoned in a crossfit gym for 5 years.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Kek

                https://i.imgur.com/wblbwgI.jpg

                >Since the defendant has trouble recalling the events. I hereby sentence him to 6 months of mandatory rolling 48s. If you fail to adhere to the fast then you will be imprisoned in a crossfit gym for 5 years.

                >crossfit
                Oof, easy there judge- we trying to rehabilitate xir back into society or snap his shit?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      "Am I free to travel, not drive, my vessel, which is not required to have a license plate because I'm free?"

      Cop: *looks up thankfully; says* "Thank you Lord" *Pulls you out of the car and begins doing some light cardio with his baton.*

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >implying that the only words that should come out of your mouth are
        >invoking your right to silence
        >Am I being detained/Am I free to go?
        >I want a lawyer
        >Is a sovereign citizen thing and not just what every person supposed to say when interacting with cops.

        I got out of two situations with cops just saying those 3 things. The other time the cop was a roided tatted up gang member looking guy who wouldn't take his hand off his pistol so I had to play that one by ear and deescalate. If I had said "Am I free to go" he might of freaked out.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          How'd you go about that last one?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            played the victim and did what he said while saying as little as possible.
            Guy just rolled up on me while I was walking down the street, gets out of his car, and detains me, while habitually putting his hand on his pistol.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              This is why you need to record every interaction with cops, frick them, they've betrayed citizens over and over again, if they slip up and get sued and fired, that's their fault! Frick boot lickers.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                recording won't stop every cop from mercing you. So you have to be smart and asses what kind of cop you are dealing with. Is he just a regular cop doing his job and not an unhinged thug or is he going through a break up with his gf and wants to take it out on you? Some cops wake up in the morning and think "I'm gonna kill some random dude today for shits and giggles". So you have to be careful.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                They won't, but you will always have evidence when they don't that you can directly show to the judge when they hear your case.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I care more about staying alive than winning a case
                see

                https://i.imgur.com/trwehu9.png

                >“BULK AND CUT TOWARDS ME”
                >“w-what?”
                >get shot

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          played the victim and did what he said while saying as little as possible.
          Guy just rolled up on me while I was walking down the street, gets out of his car, and detains me, while habitually putting his hand on his pistol.

          a lot of cops are just fricking nuts thanks to departments hiring veterans

          i have three close friends who are cops in three different states, and all of them have several ex-military coworkers/superiors with PTSD that see civilians as enemy combatants

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            They don't even hire veterans, they hire domestic abusers and shit like that who won't get a real job.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            > T. Fed bootlicker.

            Yeah yeah we know you are a fed.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              So he's licking his own boots?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Hey, pretty much every fed has tried to do that at least once in their life. Nothing to be ashamed of.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          You don't need to talk to cops and you shouldn't.
          It's the courts job to determine guilt and execute justice, not the cops. Cops just make arrests.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I love sovereign citizens. I love to see them get away with it, but it hurts my heart to see them get their asses kicked.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Personally I think sovereign citizens are just embarrassing. And it's shitty when clearly guilty criminals use sovereign citizen arguments in court. But I can appreciate the spirit of challenging unnecessary bureaucratic laws in the rare instances that happens, though most of the time sovereign citizens are usually bullshit.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              You better check that out with the law of the sea anon, I think they have the right to travel in their conveyance.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >SIR, I WILL SHOOT YOU IF YOU REACH FOR THAT QUEST BAR
    >DON'T DO IT
    >DO-
    >[gunfire]

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Taking into account all evidence, and seeing as your BMI was over 25, I have no choice but to hand down the maximum sentence...
    >200 hours of cardio!

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      My gains! NOOOO

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >YOU CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO ANY MORE CARDIO
      >*induces heart attack in himself*

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I'm not bulking.
    I'm on keto.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >sentence: five years in San Rippetoe Maximum Deficit Penitentiary for the Criminally Obese

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >sentence: five years in San Rippetoe Maximum Deficit Penitentiary for the Criminally Obese

      >OBJECTION
      >My client was merely entering an insanity plea
      >we move to have our client evaluated by a psychiatrist.

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I’ve been bulking at a speed of about 8 pounds a month for the last three months.. I’ll slow it down, sir.

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    H-hey c'mon man..
    Mr Piano said five scoops, right?

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >I need facts Kowalski
    >...well sir...
    >Spit it out!
    >...we've recieved words hes imported 500g of creatine through his contacts in east asia
    >My God... Thats enough to remove the hair of every man, woman and child in america!
    >Do you have his location
    >W-we're working on it sir! I have my teams searching every planet fitness west of the mississippi.
    >I pray to god you find him Kowalski, or its goodbye luscious locks, hello norwood six...

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I may be bulking but my speed and reflexes are still on point, see...
    *Grabs officer's sidearm*

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Just think of all the hot gay sex waiting for us in prison.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Some troon out expecting it

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I am a sovereign/ fit/izen. I wasn't bulking, I was attaining a calorie surplus.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >sovereign/ fit/izen

      zozzler

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      AM I BEING DEGAINED?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Lel

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >defendant tested positive for creatine
    >traces of mass gainer were found in the trunk

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    best thread on the board right now

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Ate one of those little Debbie oatmeal cream pies with a scoop of vanilla icecream on it for dessert
    Is there a problem officer?

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    you are hereby sentenced to a maximum sentence of dreamer bulk of peace

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Sir you were eating 5000 calories in a 2000 calorie zone.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Oh really, haha, well you know, I had some Christmas leftovers frozen and-

      >"Sir, it's almost Spring"

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >I swear it's just a baby bulk
    >W-what? You want me to get out of the car?
    >Okay hold on *sucks in deep and takes off seat belt*
    >*Opens door and rolls outside*
    >You want me to walk on this line? Officer that's asking a lot
    >*Tries to walk and falls over own fat*
    >OFFICER PLEASE *breaths in* I HAVE A FAMILY *breaths in* IT WAS A BABY *breaths in* BULK I SWE *breaths in* AR!

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM
    >DON'T MAKE ANY SUDDEN FEEDING MOTIONS
    >my god, what's that in the back seat
    Anons, what's in the back seat?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Several cartons of eggs.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >dozens of discarded butter wrappers

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      a 10 lbs bucket of extra smooth peanut butter thinned with coconut water and a straw

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      le cookies

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I don't want to do this but we gotta drop the donuts

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >I-It was just one thin crust pizza officer! I was doing OMAD with protein powder!

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    SORRY OFFICER BUT I AM BEING LATE TO MY ANABOLIC WINDOW

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >suspect is fleeing eastbound on- wait, no, he's pulling into a wendy's

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >suspect is seen carrying excessive amounts of food, possible armed robbery
        Kek but gotta admit its about time to switch to cut, I remembered 2 days ago the qt at the burger joint was confused with my order for a bit because I was taking 3 burgers.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Not related but has anyone noticed how often qts work at fast food and retail? I had to give my information to my university for work and all the girls were ugly when walking along the street as it's Portland, a girl in my elevator going up was ugly, but I go into the office and a qt redhead my age was working the counter.
          Or at a value village, literally one of the cutest girls I've seen was working as a self checkout assistant. Why is every girl I have the ability to talk to further ugly, but the girls I only get to talk to once are so cute!

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            luck probably but we can pull some assessment out of our asses. a common pool of that sort of characters would come from, if you are walking on selfmade (wo)man path, or something like if you're foreign to that place in scale of different city or country, you'd be likely doing such jobs on the side along with your primary goal like the education or other. you might be running into those. take your chances and gradually snipe one, someone like mentioned would make a good character.

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I need help.
    A lot of fat people have low blood sugar. and low insulin resistance.
    Every time I try to gain weight my fasting glucose goes up 122-132 mg/dL.
    My A1C is 5.4.
    I am 6'6 and 194 pounds right now. How do I gain 20 pounds in 1 month without becoming diabetic? I lose weight in my sleep.
    I am self medicating metformin and pioglitazone 30mg right now.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      frick dude are you eskimo or something?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        no but I am worried about becoming type 2 diabetic. my doctors tell me only the A1C matters but in the past my fasting blood sugar was 132 when I woke up and it was like that several times.
        Lowest it has been on healthy diet was 105 mg/dl.
        I just really want to gain at least 20 pounds in a month 🙁

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >20 lbs in one month
      Won't happen in your case.
      You gotta slowly adjust your diet to lower your insulin sensitivity. Also if you're worried about blood sugar, mix whatever bulking food you enjoy with some low glycemic foods to balance it out.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        why not? a fat guy told me to just drink tubs of melted ice cream. I want fat on my chest.

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    3400 calories in a single meal!?
    There was only FIFTEEN grams of protein you sick frick!

Leave a Reply to Anonymous Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *