strange/funny mires thread

>be me
>walking to college class in the morning
>see teacher's brother who has down syndrome,5 ft 6 stubby looking
>gestures to me
>walk over to him and ask what is it
>he's mumbling something but I don't understand anything he's saying
>ask him to repeat himself 4 times but still can't make out what he meant by this
>see him flex his right arm,point at it with his left arm and point at me while mumbling something
>Respond ''yeah that's how it is man''
>he goes on mumbling some more stuff as I pretend to understand what he's saying while shrugging his shoulders a few times and looking left and right

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    He was saying he needs you to be his muscle in the upcoming heist most likely

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        is that pete davidson

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I’m putting together a team

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >extra chromosome
    >walking back from hot campus party
    >just pumped two 9/10 varbies shit was cash
    >see this skinny gay in my class
    >always up early doing fag shit
    >call him over
    >watch his skinny calves drag his twink frame towards me
    >”nice arms dyel fag”
    >his body shudders and he freezes
    >repeat myself again
    >”nice arms dyel fag”
    >he starts to stutter
    >”uh… uh.. uhhhh”
    >repeat it once more as I gesture to my 24 inch retard strength bicep
    >”NICE ARMS DYEL FAG”
    >tears swell in his eyes
    >”Uh.. uhhh.. y-yeah haha that’s how i-it is man!”
    >god this OP is a fag

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >t. the coping retard

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Heh

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >at school
    >using my laptop with headphones in
    >girl asks if she can sit next to me
    >tell her to go ahead
    >few minutes later she asks me something about her laptop
    >we get to talking
    >invites me to grab coffee after school
    >we do and have a good time actually
    >add her on snapchat
    >we talk for 2 days
    >send her a snap of me in the gym
    >replies with heart eyes emoji
    >”i didn’t know you were so huge anon!”
    >fast forward to the next day
    >she asks if i want to watch a movie
    >ask what she had in mind
    >”oh we can find something on netflix”
    >mfw i thought she meant at the cinema
    >mfw i canceled because im a virgin with crippling anxiety

    had literal diarrhea, constant stomach cramps and a panic attack after i agreed to it so i had to cancel. i have no control over it and i feel helpless. it’s infuriating. i can control anger, sadness but this is impossible to manage. because she put me on the spot when we first met i didn’t have the chance to freak out and i was fine. it’s stupid.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Had something similar happen to me earlier in the week but it was mostly nonverbal
      >be me
      >going to buy some food at restaurant then head home
      >as soon as I enter and go into line notice 7/10 lightskinned milf staring at me for 3 seconds
      >be behind her in line
      >notice she'll glance at me for a few seconds then look somewhere else
      >prefer to assume she's just looking around and think nothing of it
      >at one point hear her sigh and look in my direction as if she's hoping I say something
      >look at her ass a few times retrieve my meal go home,eat,then masturbate later while thinking about her

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      just gotta breathe, muh bro

      girls are awesome but never put them on a pedestal. what can a little girl do to hurt you?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        yeah i do breathing exercises i got from when i used to visit a therapist for anxiety (didn’t help, the therapy that is). it helps a little but it comes back full force after a minute or two. it’s not strictly limited to girl unfortunately.

        Take a single xanax or vicodin or even a benadryl

        My bro try theanine 900mg (not a medication)

        ill have a look, i’d rather not get addicted as i have trouble controlling myself, xanax is off the table. i’ll do some research, ive heard good stuff about phenibut

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >ive heard good stuff about phenibut
          Be careful with that one too, some people seem to get dependent on it really badly while others hardly at all, I used a lot of it every other day or even more frequently for a year or so and stopped cold with no symptoms whatsoever but I've heard of people having nasty withdrawals from even less than that

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Take a single xanax or vicodin or even a benadryl

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        what would the benadryl do? wouldnt pheni be a better choice?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >realize a girl likes me like THAT after talking to her for 2 days
      >start shidding and farding
      Jesus christ, anon...

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      My bro try theanine 900mg (not a medication)

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      just like your dopamine spikes in anticipation of the reward rather than whwn receiving the actual reward, your anxiety spikes before the actual event, during its not that bad.
      also it could be helpful to just give your vcard to an escort to cool off all the internal hype you build up for sex, good luck anon.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        makes sense, but turning up with a flushed face and sweating like an ape is also not a good look. an escort is definitely something ive been considering, just to do it once

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I had a similar thing this week
      >last week of work before leaving to grad school and start new job when I get back
      >gay friend/coworker, secretary and I have a group chat
      >they start talking sex and ask me things
      >secretary asks what a vagina feels like with a penis
      >gay friend doesn't know, I explain
      >she asks more questions about positions, says what her fetishes are, and prefers strong guys
      >says she hasn't had any sex in a while, asks me when the last time I had sex was
      >messages me separately if I still want to go to concert on Sunday
      >say yes
      >she suggests booking a stay out there and drive back on 4th of July so we can get drinks after the concert
      I got sick on Tuesday and I haven't gotten better. I got tested 6 times for the coof since I can't go to grad school if I'm positive. I had to tell her I can't go to the concert if I don't get better by then.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        not the guy you responded to
        but at least give her an alternative date plan, or else she might think you're just not interested in her

        godspeed, you can still get the puss

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I have the exact same feeling before every big race I participate in. It's not unusual for me to shit 3-4 times in a 2-hour span before my start. I often feel so anxious that I want to cry or feel like passing out. But once I actually get out of the gate all of my nerves calm down and I feel completely normal. Also

      just like your dopamine spikes in anticipation of the reward rather than whwn receiving the actual reward, your anxiety spikes before the actual event, during its not that bad.
      also it could be helpful to just give your vcard to an escort to cool off all the internal hype you build up for sex, good luck anon.

      anon is right about the escort. You'll gain valuable experience and will feel more comfortable with being around women in a sexual context.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Lol what a beta male
      You’ll be weeded out this generation, don’t worry

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I noticed a girl at my club struggles with maintaining eye contact when I'm talking to her, is this a mire?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Depends. What were you wearing?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      at your club? what does this mean?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Fuck, idk why I said club, it was a bjj dojo

        Depends. What were you wearing?

        Bjj kimono

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Oh that’s cool. Does she act shy around you, stealing glances or smiling after she can’t maintain eye contact?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Does she act shy around you
            I never noticed to be honest, maybe?

            >stealing glances
            It happens sometimes

            >smiling after she can’t maintain eye contact
            Never noticed this as well

            She has a bf anyway, so not like I have a chance, but still it's nice to know that there's a possibility that a girl is dropping her spaghetti next to me lol

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >On vacation
    >Climbing up a tower in a medieval cathedral to see the view from the top. (popular spot for tourists)
    >About 500 steps in a tight staircase
    >I feel satisfied so have this slight smile as I go out on the terrace
    >As I go through the door out my gaze meets with this 8/10 chick
    >She doesn't break eye contact for way too long
    >My gf is walking behind me so I decide to break the eye contact with the chick
    >One guy asks me if I could make him a pic with his camera as he's no selfiestickfag
    >"sure.mp3"
    >As I make pic for the dude I see with the corner of the eye the chick pulled out her phone and is making a pic of me
    >wtfisthisshit.webm
    >Wanted to ask if she wants to have a pic together, but at the same time dude asked me for one more pic with a flash on
    >"dude are you a primadonna?"
    >Anyways I made pic because a nice dude
    >Chick left
    >Tell gf "babe this chick made a pic of me"
    >Gf lols
    I keep wondering what the fuck was that about till this day.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      they wanted to harvest your oranges

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >out for a jog on along the creek
    >shirtless to mog plebian cattle
    >homeless crackhead day shouts 'nice abs' as I run by
    I take those, thanks lady

    >another jog near the creek
    >obviously shirtless
    >pack of obese gays ogling me and one says 'nice abs'
    >'I know'
    I really do have great abs.

    >another daily creek jog
    >pack of women wearing 19th century Victorian dresses for some reason
    >they are mirin
    >literally tip my hat and say 'm'ladies' as we pass
    >they giggle

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >gf says she just LOVES my benis
    >"heh, thx babe"
    >"yeah Anon, my ex's penis was really big - too big and sex was never good due to this but yours is so cute! I love it inside me"
    >"erm... t-thanks!"
    >many months pass by; she keeps mentioning how she loves her "little love toy" (= my penis)
    >when we broke up she said really sad "I'm gonna miss your penis so much"
    my benis is 13.5cm. It made me feel both confident & somewhat insecure at the same time.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      ...how big?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      what the fuck did i just read

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      you have a very nice feminine benis anon

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds like a very good gf.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Be me
    >In downtown Clematis
    >Group of black girls start circling me
    >Have a good pump from the gym
    >One grabs my arm
    >"He got muscles!"
    >Some of them take pictures of me and a few take pictures with me
    >Walk off confused

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      That's horrible, anon. Do you need to talk about it?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      if it was white girls it'd be hot

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      My dream fantasy is being gang raped on a rocky beach by a bunch of skinny, curvy black girls who feed me pineapples so my cum tastes good.

      I end up cuming so much that I stop coming for the rest of my life.

      They all become pregnant and my muscular children build a raftboat and we sail off to an island to live out a happy and peaceful life.

      I keep orgasming with my harem of black wives, but nothing comes out.

      When my children reach puberty (they are all men), they murder me so they can take their moms as wives.

      It would be a good life.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    He was mocking your stick arms, DYEL

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >send ex nudes posing with pic related covering my meat for lulz
    >'damn anon, why so serious? its like you're actually trying to impress me.'
    >screenshots
    >"I keep thinking about your body, all the things I like about it."
    >sends back with "hawt spots" highlighted, whole upper body.
    >proceed to deny her the satisfaction of a date she planned, fuck that bitch. earn the title of "worst person ever".
    feelsgoodman, even tho i'm dyel

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Its your prerogative as a man, considering you are righteous and she acosted you. Keep going anon. WAGMI

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