Come take a seat. Have a drink, on the house. Happy Friday to you all. Another week down. How the hell have you been?
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The bar is open
Come take a seat. Have a drink, on the house. Happy Friday to you all. Another week down. How the hell have you been?
Thread Theme:
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Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
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My parents are insane now that they're in their 50s.
I need to move out, I have money and a job but they'll hate me if I leave.
>they'll hate me if I leave.
why? I moved out a few years ago and it was the best decision for all of us. I could not stand being in the house any longer and they knew it
Understandable. It feels like they’re becoming the children as I get older.
I’m turning 26 next friday. Never had sex. Never kissed a girl. Pretty fit, good looking, and in grad school but I have self-confidence issues, oneitis, and I live with my parents in a neighborhood without young people.
Also, I was socializing a feral cat recently and made great progress. However, a few nights ago my dad said he heard a cat fight outside, and I haven’t seen the cat since. I’m afraid that its hurt or afraid to come back to the yard. I named him Dean Martin.
I don't understand why I keep going on.
My life is shit, I get minimum wage and have to keep putting overtime in. Have no real friends or anyone to really talk to. I should just off myself but I can't, guess I am a pussy.
What do you guys do with your lives?
>inb4 friends or gf
Putting the 'why' into other people has backfired so fricking hard on me, I don't want to live for others it makes me feel even worse as there is never a return of effort.
You and me both.
Every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I hope I don't wake up... and then I wake up.
Life feels like purgatory. Complete stagnation of constant waiting on improvement.
The only thing I have going for me is my commitment to 5 days a week in the gym.
Everything else sucks.
Also in the same boat as this anon
My parents are insane control freaks who take every opportunity to put me down. I can't stand living with them but can't afford to move out.
Seriously, I want to go hang myself from a tree.
Bro I tried, I just can't fricking go through with it. I still can't bring myself to believe that things will never change, I still hope that shit will get better even though I can't even imagine what a better world/life could look like.
Yeah.
I keep getting 'visions' of different futures. Visualizing myself in better circumstances.
It's really the only thing that keeps me going.
Patience is all we really have.
It's just hard to shake the depression. Especially when there's no one to support you, but plenty of people to put you down at the first opportunity.
Just keep going I suppose.
I am so sorry to hear that you guys are feeling that way about life. Please do not give up. I know things seem fricking awful right now, maybe they more than seem awful and outright just are awful. But please know that things do change. Things can get better. Things will get better.
I have felt what you are feeling and finding meaning and purpose in life is one of the most difficult things that we all have to do. It is great that you are trying to improve yourselves but change happens slowly. I know it sounds stupid and you have probably been told it before but maybe try getting involved with your community or volunteering if you have the time. It might be scary/stressful to get yourself into a new social situation/environment but I have always felt better when I know I am doing something that is objectively good. We should not put our happiness in the hands of others, you are very right about that, but it is hard to hate yourself or see only the bad when you yourself have become the source of good. It is hard to convince yourself that the world is a hopeless place when you yourself find the strength to wake up and become a source of hope for others. What are you passionate about? Animals? Education? Kids? Religion? Access to food? The outdoors? See what opportunities you can find in your local area. Volunteer at a shelter or do some tutoring (I did k-8 with the salvation army for a few months). If you start small and find that it is making a good impact maybe build up to something more? I was a volunteer at dementia homes a few years ago where I would just go and spend time with these people who had no family at all visiting them. Nothing. Not even their minds. It helped me to put things in perspective.
Things will get better, brothers.
Thank you for the kind words anon.
tequila please. up.
decided to come back to IST on whim and calculated BF% yesterday. I'm obese, apparently. wonderful
got meals on deck, got my gram scale, got a running/calisthenics routine
we're so back bros. here's to the gains
Yeah I’m a moron my sister fell in love with a psychopathic criminal.
We work together weekends and one day when she tried to dump him and ghosted him that homosexual called on my phone and told him to frick off
2 weeks later they are back together and that homosexual treats my sister like shit and he is stalking her everywhere where we work.
What do I do if he appears at work ?
Throw the whole b***h away at that point
Give me the strongest thing you got barkeep, I just want to forget
It hurts so fricking bad bros. After a year of being in love, I find out today that she's getting married. Coincidentally exactly a year after I fell in love with her. I feel like absolute shit. I know I should've made a move or said something earlier but I didn't know how to, and besides what can I do when I'm a loser who's still living with his parents and has no prospects. I didn't even know she had a bf, I just assumed but I guess I was hoping it was just a fear and not a reality.
Don't make the same mistake I did anons, if you start having feelings, go for it immediately no matter the circumstances. If you get rejected at least you'll know before you get too invested. I've never spent a day without thinking about her, honestly at this point I actually thought it was established that it would happen and I just had to wait for the right moment or something idk
At least now I know there's nothing holding me at this job anymore. I still have to stay until October though, but after that I'm fricking gone. I don't know what I'll do, but I'm leaving my parent's house for sure
Last time I heard her voice was in January. I really thought there was something in her tone, I thought there was hope. It was all in my head probably. I haven't seen her face since May 2022. And now I'll have to see her again on June 9th, god I wish I could skip that day. In fact I wish I could skip the next 5 months and be done with it
Jfc lads, sorry for the rant but I feel like I might kill myself. It really hurts. I've had feelings for other girls before but this was different. I realize now how one-sided this whole thing was. Either way it's over now and I'll get over it some day
Lifting-wise it's pretty stale, I haven't made much progress since I started. I guess I need to try harder and eat more/better. I do feel better and I can lift heavier than I did but what's the point when I still look the same
that sucks anon, it really does. the only advice i can give you is get your shit together and move on.
it might sound stupid but try dancing. if you learn a couple of basic shuffling moves and go to a party you can take out a lot of stress in a single night and meet a frick ton of new women.
women find dancing quite attractive. many of them will approach you at clubs so you even get to chose which one you want. but you have to be patient and confident. if you want to pull this off you need to dance alone in the center of the club with full confidence for 2 hours or something before they decide to approach you.
Thanks anon, I appreciate the advice. And yeah dancing sounds like a pretty ridiculous idea to me lol, but I might try it. The only times I've danced were when I was really drunk so that tells you what level I'm at lol
It will have to wait til October though, cause I have no friends and never get out of my parent's house other than going to work. Til then I'm gonna move through the pain
Thanks again anon, wish you all the best
The advice you gave earlier about going for it right away whatever the circonstance is golden. I discovered I’m good at dancing also recently and its true woman absolutly love that shit. Last day of vacation in NYC and I’m going dacing alone right now.
Based. Have fun anon
I'm 20. It's just that I can't get a new job before autumn, and I don't want to move out before I have a stable job. I barely finished high school with no interest in higher education so I don't expect it to be easy. I'm still at my first job, I lucked out on that one and I would've stayed there for a while longer if it hadn't been for what I said in my first post. I had a good run though
why are you waiting to leave your parents house? how old are you?
Wanted to respond to this. It seems like this woman is someone you barely knew. Am I correct in that assumption? That fact that you didn't know that she was taken gives me the feeling she was someone you were just watching from afar. If you were together and she was engaged within a year to someone else, I am very sorry. But if my hunch is correct I would like to be real with you, not to criticize but because I genuinely care and want to help you out here. You were not in love. It seems like you barely knew the girl and she has been out of your life for some serious time now. To be in love with someone it takes the two of you to have mutual feelings and care for one another. I don't think that was the case in your situation. It sounds as though you let having a crush grow into becoming smitten which then developed into a romantic obsession. I think in the meantime of not seeing her you have allowed your fixation to grow instead of busying yourself with other pursuits. It doesn't seem like this could have been more one sided.
But let me tell you the good part, anon. If you can find the strength in yourself to push through this, to grow and develop yourself spiritually, physically, and emotionally... to conduct yourself with respect and honor... then good will come in to your life. Do not have a nice day. Find strength. Even in the little things. Your family and loved ones, your pets, your career, your community. Find strength in the sun shining on your face and the wind in your hair. Realize that you are alive. You are here in this moment living this insane life, full of its hardships and struggles. You are blessed to be here. To experience all of it. Even the bad. And along with the bad comes the good. I cant promise you that you'll find some love of your life and she will just appear when you have suddenly "become the man you were meant to be" but I can tell you that if you truly find love (truly IN LOVE) you will not be able to help but laugh at what you are going through now. Your pain now will be trivial compared to the depth and purpose and feeling of belonging that comes with it. So head up. Tomorrow is a new day. You got this.
Thanks anon, I was hoping someone would tell me this. You are right that I didn't really know her, just through work. And yeah we just talked face to face that one time, which was very brief, but we used to talk regularly on the phone in the first half of '22. After July/August it kind of dwindled and then I phoned her only once every few months and now I just need to send one email and she'll respond quickly. It hurts that I can't call her anymore but damn I love the way she writes to me. God I wish I had said/done something last year
>you will not be able to help but laugh at what you are going through now. Your pain now will be trivial compared to the depth and purpose and feeling of belonging that comes with it.
That's what I'm most afraid of, I know it will come one day and I know it's a good thing, but it fricking hurts to know that what I've been feeling in the past year was just a big joke
Its okay, anon. We have to make these mistakes to grow and learn about the world and ourselves. I assume you are probably young or at the least inexperienced. Things will get better and the pain will go away. bit by bit. You fell in love with an idea of someone, not the actual person or reality in front of you. I sent you that poem IF by Kipling because of the third verse.
"If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss"
Right now, despite your misreading of the situation, it feels like you just risked everything and lost. You let your heart get attached to someone and it got broken. But be brave. Ride out the pain. Tomorrow is a new day. I know the pain wont be gone but make the effort to "start again at your beginnings". Look at the situation for what it is and accept it. Then pick yourself up and march on. You'll march on long and far enough that the pain will go away step by step and you'll look around you and realize that it left your life long ago and that you are in an entirely different place than when you started.
Yeah I'm just 20 lol. I don't know, I guess I thought this would be it. I just hope I get my shit together early on and manage to find love while I'm still young, I'll put more effort next time
Thank you anon, you really did help me, and I'll definitely save that poem. Wish you all the luck with school and girls. I obviously can't give you advice lmao, but I hope this counts for something
Why does it feel socially unacceptable for me to just go for a walk in my neighborhood. I'm trying to lessen my screen time, but I feel like I have to be running or something if I'm going around the neighborhood as a single fit 29 year old. Like I'm ashamed I don't have a family or something. It's probably that
What? Jesus Christ, if you're that autistic, take a bag tote with you.
>schedule a lasik consultation
>eye immediately goes red and in a few hours I've got a full blood blister on it
I think the universe is trying to tell me something
>be me
>around 8 years old
>hanging out at school during recess
>one of my guy friends takes me to a hidden spot by some stairs
>convinces me to kiss
>we kiss
My only kiss on the lips to this day. Is it gay and will I ever kiss a girl that loves me?
t. 24 yo recluse
No, you gay now
shutup Black person dont tell people what to be
>be me
>university EEE student working in a kinda remote office environment
>there is a qt grill that I am interested in, we get along and we meet when she comes to my city
>have a nice date together
>go to office tomorrow, boss' wife asks me about the date I had
>whathowdoyouknowthat.jpg
>turns out qt told her sister (co-founder of company) and she told her bf (also co-founder) who told her aunt (main boss' wife)
>she chats about my work and love life being entangled and other shit. tells me to not tell the qt
>I eventually decided to tell the qt about this
>she gets sad, depressed and angry (to everyone in the company)
>romance goes away she tells me we should stop
I'll take a ginger beer.
Finished work for the week and just did a two hour workout.
Feeling pretty amazing but don't really have anyone to share it with.
I feel like I'm in a strange place mentally, though because of this.
But well, tomorrow I'm going for my first ever yoga class with a, seemingly, cute instructor.
Looking to up my mobility game and try something new.
>work crush chose another dude over me
>coworker told me there's one girl looking for me
>I'm not attracted to her at all
What is it like to have friends? Like how do you tell if someone is an actual friend?
It’s been a while since I’ve had good friends, but when I was 12-14 I had the best friends of my life. It was me and 2 other guys. This was before every kid had a phone so we mainly organised things through our mums. Man there’s not really a way to describe it except awesome. When we were together it was just constant laughs and good times. We’d explore abandoned buildings, look for money around to go buy energy drinks and then come back home and watch R-rated movies that we knew we wouldn’t be allowed to watch. My favourite part was at sleepovers at like 2am when we’d be watching YouTube, knowing we couldn’t laugh because then our parents would come in and get mad, which just mad it funnier. We all split up when we turned 15 though, it was hard. But I’m grateful that I got to experience it
If he goes out of his way to help you.
checked
i dont drink but have fun 😀
29 years old. I kissed a girl for the first time in my life this weekend. We were nude both topless cuddling, even fingered her but last moment I backed down and didn't have sex.
It's like an alarm went off inside me and told me to leave her house. Anyway I'll probably get another chance to have sex with her but even if I don't I don't really care.
Well still I got my first taste of kissing, cuddling, nipple sucking etc. It was fun and all, but nothing that special.
Is it better with girls you have feelings for? One night stands don't really seem my thing tbh
it can sometimes be from drinking too , ive had whiskey dick before and if i didnt i wouldnt be a virgin rn
oh no which one do we pick ???
I've been thinking about the difference between what makes a man masculine and what women say a man is.
I work at a mine and a lot of those dudes are more masculine than anyone I'd ever met in the city. They aren't bullies by any means: generally calm, tough, kind, assertive but considerate, compelled to act based on a sense of responsibility. However while they're generally quite fit, none are by any means fashionable and many carry a bit of weight, are missing hair, or wear bulky thick framed soviet era glasses.
Then the girls I've been meeting romantically generally express an interest in a different type of man. Usually timothy calamet types or tiktok homosexuals or tom holland, etc. Softer, more compelled by hedonism, fashionable sensibilities, social status.
It seems like all the men were so busy working that their daughters grew up only knowing masculinity for the charade it was to boys at school or in bars or on TV. Not what it really is.
Normally my path would be clear. However what makes this difficult is that the women that the mine guys end up with (almost all are married or engaged) are generally unattractive to me. Fat blue-collar white women who look 45 at 30 and who largely live for daytime TV and decennial trips to the big disney. More into the city babes who look good and have finer sensibilities.
Surprised I've never heard this situation described before
>city babes who look good and have finer sensibilities are for girls <30 year old, I wouldn't expect many past that age
I agree with everything else you said
I get what you mean- as women get older they naturally age into an era of responsibility where they become less attentive to and reliant on their appearance. However that doesn't mean they should become total beasts, mentally and physically. The 'big disney' thing around here is fricking barbaric, as is a lot of the food and drink and music and TV and entertainment. I'd rather be with someone who liked ABBA, maybe drank wine or beer from time to time, enjoyed tasteful cooking, classic movies, had an appreciation for classic art and vacations to historically rich cities. Someone who keeps herself in shape and at least looks no older than she actually is. Someone who can hold a conversation with my nerdier friends and who has interests in nature related stuff like gardening.
Its a fricking joke how we see men and women as remotely similar. The only women I've dated who read shit and thought seriously about like in a non-self-aggrandizing manner were indian, chinese, or mexican. Its either bookshelves filled with books about naive well-meaning women getting fricked by pirates and knights and dogs and vampires or else books that they dont understand
been exercising about 3 hours a day for 2 months, been eating clean with a calorie deficit while meeting protein and fiber goals, but this week I've been mentally struggling. Still doing all that except eating clean. Staying in my calorie deficit but didn't get the chance to mealprep last sunday so I've been eating dogshit fast food and really struggled to do more than the bare minimum of daily exercise. Was looking forward to a cycling meetup that was yesterday for weeks but when it came I never even went. Worried I'm starting a depressive episode or something and I'm terrified of going back to emotional eating but I'm trying to take steps to prevent it. planning to go grocery shopping and mealprepping tomorrow for the weekend/next week so that I don't lose my progress or kill myself or something.
>be me at work (sort of premium walmart if that makes sense)
>qt coworker has her break, always comes asks me what she should eat
>i tell her sushi because women do be liking sushi
>”omg yes but i want to go to a restaurant again”
>i take this as a hint and tell her we should go sometime in the future
>she happily agrees
still surprised it worked. i don’t care much for this temp job anyway but it’s my first proper date. no clue if i can talk and ‘vibe’ with her for 2 hours straight, seems like an awful lot of time to fill. in case you couldn’t tell yeah i’m a khv. think imma set it up next week
Had a long chat with the younger woman that has been distracting me. We train at the same sports facility, occasionally in the same group. She trains harder when I'm there, to the point her coach glares at me when she overreaches.
Normally fine carrying on a conversation, I stutter, trip over my words when I talk to her, fumble sentences. This time she dropped her slightly shy manner and lead the conversation, knowing smile on her face. One of the middle aged mums was watching us, amused.
Didn't get a chance to chat next session but she made sure she detoured past me when she had the opportunity.
She's 25, amazonian. I'm closer to 50, should know better and in danger of losing control...
I'm leaving this place for good. Too much moronic shit, pharma shilling, and coombait. I don't wanna subject myself to this garbage. I wish all normal non coomer anons the best.
>inb4 nobody cares
Good.
Whisky. Double.
It happened. The divorce is coming through. Now the frickin'hard part.
No anon. Now life can start.
I’m literally addicted to sex and pornography. I’ve stopped for a bit but my urges are driving me crazy and giving me intrusive thoughts. I think of impregnating random women, think of fricking twinks and femboys. I don’t want to be controlled by it and surpass it. I don’t act on these thoughts but frick it’s driving me nearly insane at times now that I’m going through a stressful time. Don’t want to be weak willed and let the thoughts win.
As for myself, I'll have a coffee. Don't feel like sleeping much anymore. Was a tough week for me. Had two big exams (which did go well) but struggling with a procedure I am trying to learn in lab. Spent 4 hours today trying it over and over and it just not working. Need to reassess, slow down,, calm down, and keep trying.
Mentally was a tough week as well. I got this really cute girls number at my gym last week and she told me she would text me Sunday to figure out a time to go out with me this week. Never hit me up. I reached out Sunday evening and it took her two days to respond. I know she is just trying to lead me on so im just letting it go. I am no stranger to women or rejection but it just sucks. I am trying to date seriously/with intention after years of being an idiot on dating apps and I guess I had hopes for her. Life goes on.
Then this monday I suddenly had a full scale panic attack brought on by body dysmorphia. Nearing the end of my cut and just not tolerating the mental toll its taken on me in addition to school and my poor social/romantic life. Fortunately an anon helped me realize my delusions so I am trying to pay the world back and give me advice to some anons here with their own struggle tonight.
>Graduate highschool
>No idea what to do
>Boomer dad convinces me to join military
>Do
>4 years later
>Finally out of military, didn't mind being in but hated my job
>Now out of military, sitting on $50K in savings
>No job, no idea what to do
Considering doing a trade or going to school since it'd basically be free. I genuinely have no fricking clue.
Trade would honestly be your best bet.
If you do choose to go to school, do community college for basic courses then transfer over credits to your main school, it's the way I did it and was 1000x cheaper.
Good luck fren
Are you academically inclined? Do you do well in the classroom setting? Any background or ability in STEM? What kind of work interests you? How much money would you like to be making? How many days of the week are you comfortable working? Do you want to be your own boss or are you okay with working for someone? What are your weak points? What are your expenses like currently? Would xyz career provide you the lifestyle that you can envision for yourself? What do you want to become genuinely GOOD at?
All of these are questions you should be asking yourself. I was an electrician for a few years and now I am working on my career in medicine after getting a 4 year degree. The trades are hard work but there is going to be major, MAJOR opportunity in them for those who are willing to put in the time and hours in the coming decades. Very easy to clear 6 figures as a residential contractor once you've established yourself. That being said the money is there in fields that require time in academia as well. It is just a matter of getting there. Honestly I would tell most people to avoid the college route if they are pursing a career that will bottom out under 80k or at least do community/commuter college. Not worth the debt. But you do have that sweet sweet GI bill money...
I think I'm suited for anything, honestly. I took some college while I was enlisted and I honestly didn't try very hard and still had a 3.5 GPA. I was basically a mechanic while I was in the military, I hated my job but I do enjoy woodworking. At least, I did in highschool.
I like working with my body. I fricking hate computer shit or sitting around. I hate to admit it, but part of me has considered re-joining the military but trying for special operator. Its really a pipedream, though. I'd be joining as an older guy with mostly 18-19 year olds. I knew guys like that when I joined and they were usually the odd man out.
Special operations is a young mans game. Not to mention if its worth becoming a killing machine for politicians and banks. A lot of those guys are heroes. A lot of them are killers with the endorsement of the government. I love working with my hands too, hated the idea of being in a cubicle, but knew I wanted to do something in medicine/health so I chose to pursue dentistry. I get to help people find confidence in how they look/feel or take them out of pain or help them learn more about their health. I get to work with my hands and every day is a new challenge/experience. Its like being a craftsman but the thing you are sculpting is teeth.
I don't know if it would be a good fit for you because it is an 8 year education but you never know. Dental hygienists make a shit ton right now (over 100k in most states) and all you need is an associates degree. Totally slept on career but female dominated. Wish I could offer more advice but dentistry is most of what I know haha. Any advice on surviving military life? I owe them 4 years because they're paying my full education. I'm getting commissioned as an O3 when I graduate and I am really uncertain what to expect. Pretty sure getting moved around a lot is going to frick up my dating prospects because most girls in my city treat me like I just told them I have cancer when I tell them im in for 4 years once I graduate.
>Any advice on surviving military life?
It ain't that bad. Don't know shit about being an officer, though. Just don't be moronic, any time somebody fricks up bad it was usually something a moron could've told you not to do. Also don't frick with military girls, period. I don't care what branch you're in. They're just crazier and grimier than civilian girls. I saw a girl frick half my school, and then on graduation her fricking civilian husband showed up and didn't know shit. She never mentioned him. When she got exposed, she took the young man down with her and cried rape. To my knowledge, she is still in the military and is doing just fine and is married to her cuck. I could tell quite a few similar stories, but you get the idea.
Oh trust me, I know about military girls. Went out on a date with one who did 3 in the navy and got out. I shit you not I am telling the truth here. She got out early because "tinnitus and PTSD"... she was a fricking mechanic in the engine room on ships... what?? She was rated 80% disability and straight up told me the tinnitus was a lie. She was literally bragging to me about how she played the system. I have heard of guys getting their bodies and minds ruined and denied compensation. I got irrationally angry when she said that but kept it together. Then she went on to tell me how common it is for females in the navy to have sex with officers in exchange for signatures. Then proceeded to tell me she got pregnant twice in her three years (once from a marine which was a miscarriage and then another from an officer which she aborted). THIS WAS A FIRST DATE. I WAS LIKE WTF. Never saw her again. Not even joking. Fricking insane.
As a straight man, How am I supposed to live in a world where everything is homosexual?
Tequila shot no lime.
Got a lot on my mind bros. Moved to new city for a job. Met a girl was seeing her for a few months before she ended it for having “different goal”. I’m for traditional she’s a modern woman. Anyways been using it as motivation and losing a lot of weight. Starting to look really good imho. Saw that girl yesterday and I realized I’m still not over her after 2.5 months. I won’t reach out tho. Also have a brother dealing with serious mental health issues and a sister struggling to finish her schooling. As the big brother I feel a lot of pressure from all of this, but it making me work harder at the gym and try to make more money out side of my main job (good job). Don’t ever doubt yourself, everything around you might seem like it’s burning to the ground but keep grinding you’ll get through it all
> Don’t ever doubt yourself, everything around you might seem like it’s burning to the ground but keep grinding you’ll get through it all
I really needed to hear that, thanks bro