How has your life changed since getting IST?
I was a fat turbosperg most of my life. Ever since cutting 50lbs and putting on a solid physique and grooming myself much better, I went from being invisible to the opposite sex to getting attention all of the time.
The problem for me is that I have almost zero social skills, so it is virtually impossible for me to interpret female behavior. For example, I've had multiple occasions now at my workplace where a female co-worker I've never met before has deliberately come up to me to start talking to me (usually making some sort of BS excuse asking for help with something that they then immediately forget about). They'll talk to me constantly and even give me their number before later telling me they have a boyfriend or fiance as soon as I start pushing things towards flirty. So what the fuck is that all about? Is that them genuinely trying to steer the convo away or just clearing their conscience?
me on the left
Yeah get plenty of attention. Thing is I have no desire to fuck them, this often causes a bit of a problem as they seem to think they'll get some action from any man they show active interest in.
Happened to me last summer after a solid year of lifting and cutting (25% bf to 12%). I honestly was shocked with how I went from no female attention to a lot. Didn't know how to respond at times lol.
the truth is that a lot of your social skills take a while to build up, along with how to interact with women. if you were fat and had no interaction with women, you are probably year behind men who are your age but got all of their awkward spaghetti years out of them as a teenager (as you should have).
so just go ahead and make mistakes no and accept that it make take a while to feel comfortable with it. social skills are something you can practice. now that you're not a fat ugly fuck, you can start practicing.
Not reading your blog. That's a same-day picture
>t. ugly fat copelord
I'll never understand the kind of retard who can't read 4-5 short sentences but can enter the thread, type up a snarky response, fill out the captcha and send it.
>That's a same-day picture
I don't care. It was just some picture I pulled from google for a thread starter. would you prefer I post some 'is coffee good for you'-tier shit?
Anon if it's out there on the shiternet then something is fishy
>lose 100 pounds
>face went from pudgy and ugly to chiseled and chad-tier
>loose skin on my midsection and ass is unsightly
>women hit on me but still ugly fat unconfident kid in my head
Is there literally any escape from eternal fat kid syndrome? This shit causes permanent ego scarring
It’s getting better, I had to go through a lot of self-flagellation to realize that it’s not as big a deal as I’m making it out to be. Just gotta learn to not care
Much like stretch marks it fades over time but theyre always there in the right light. t. 31 yo former fatty
i have a pretty intidimating face (not handsome), tall and a wide frame, used to be a lanklet but lifting has turned me from a skinny nerd into an ogre
i got more attention from girls when i was a stick than now. women don't like muscle.
I have gone from conplete dyel, glasses bad skin braces nerd fit, dating models to fat and now back to fit.
Nerd in high school and highly abusive parents. My mother in particular never complimented me and just a shrewish bitch about everything.
As a result I have crippling self confidence. Which is bizarre because I am a really good public speaker and always have been. I seriously think it's genetic, my grandfather was a high ranking intelligence officer who trained other officers and his lineage has quite a few high level public official types. He even had multiple wives and as a rwsult I knew little of him because my dad never talks about him.
Anyways, the point was I had a ton of self hate and zero support from home, but I still was innately driven and good with people and public speech.
So when my body caught up to my ability to appear confident, and intelligent I would get all kinds of bizarre interactions. Women would be genuinely surprised at my low body count, many assumed that I was the player type and when I am.fit, I can enter any room and basically have a commanding presecence.
I gaines a decent amount of weight for me (never really had highr than 25% bodyfat before) during COVID, stopped wearing my contacts and grew my hair out and I literally became unseen by pretty much everyone. My jokes were less well recieved, people made less eye contact and guys were less interested in what I had to say. They just didn't really have any joy when I tried to interact with them. I was just another body.
Here's the reason I brought up the crippling self conciousness I struggle with. Being out of shape made me really comfortable because I disn't have to fake it anymore. Internally I always kind of feel like a loser, and when people just dismiss you, it's harsh, but it aligned with how I deep down feel like I should be treated. It's not true of course, but it feels true, and that is good enough for the brain sometimes
Thr point I"m making is being out of shape and obese was extremely comfortable to me because it matched my internal dialogue which I never have (maybe never will) overcome. It was extremely comfortable. No gym, just work, go home (everything was lockdowned) so ordered pizza, watched movies and played games and then bed. Just be this comfotable loser that never amounted to anything. It was wonderful and I had a great time.
Problem I had been better, I had tasted a better life of sorta and I was getting lonely. So when Covid restrictions lifted I started over. Again, something instinctually doesn't let me half ass shit, so I got my hands on some adderrall, hit the gym and lost 20 pounds in 3 months. Not bad, but still around 20% bodyfat.
Here's the rub. I'm getting attention again from people and women. But NOW I remember how comfortable it was to just be me. I don't like women just liking me for my looks and personality because I want a woman that can live with that fat slob I was a year ago because I kinda like that guy too. He's very comfortable and low maintenance. This guy before you lady that has you rubbing your legs together as we talk? He takes a ton of work. From logging my food, to training 6 days a week and just the general intensity I live my life he is a huge pain in the ass to be. Most importantly, can you keep up with this version or are you going to drag me down. Because I ain't doing it just for your attention and admiration, I'm doing this for everyone's attention and admiration because I'm one of the smaller percentage of the population that fucking can do this has done it and I want all the rewards that come with it, not just your pretty face with a dead soul behind it. You're not even the finish line, you're the one of the people on the sidelines cheering me on that motivates me to keep driving forward. Thats it.
The reward is I get to fuck beautiful shallow women. I walk into a room and guys get intimidated. Some start kissing my ass, other secretly wish I would die. I see it in their eyes. I can feel better than everyone because on a technical level because I am, I am more disciplined. I am stronger. I am more goal oriented and can achieve things I put my mind to.
Thats the difference. Thats how your life changes. The shit inside you? The self hate I have for example? That doesn't change.
What changes is you can now deal with that part by creating a new narrative for both yourself and others to see. Being fit is something everyone wants. They will love, admire, resent or hate you for that because this is the ultimate truth:
Evryone can relate to that lazy, degenerate version that just wants to stay comfotable and live without responsibilty to even their own health. I get that.
But if you overcome that? Fuck. You will be something they can't be but want to be. That is very powerful, but it can be a million different things to people. Learning to navigate that world is a whole other thing.
Now I'm in the sphere of getting all that attention again, I have to remember that I have to manage expectations of others. You don't need to do that as a fat loser.
People already have such low expectations of you what's to manage? It's fucking a get out of jail card when you no one expects anything good from you.
No responsibilty beyond the lowest expectations. You already live as a disappintment so it barely even registers. Rejection is barely an issue because people have to forst even acknowledge or see you for that, and more importantly, rejection is usually voluntary. Meaning you have to put yourself out there to get rejected.. don't put yourself out there? No rejection! Problem solved!
>because on a technical level because I am, I am more disciplined. I am stronger. I am more goal oriented and can achieve things I put my mind to.
They hate you because you think like this not because you are. Assuming an oedipal antagonism can serve as a barrier though so that's good for you
No, you are wrong. Because I have and still try to bring every man up with me as I go along. It is in my ethic. Anyone who has ever felt the kevel of rejection, abandoment (i once, in an arguement, told my sister how the reason I wasn't doing anything was I was constantly dealing with thoughts of suicide. My father was nearby and yelled, "You should do it. You should just have a nice day")
I feel for others very deeply because I have a very close attachment with pain. It is a very real thing that lives with me, all the time.
The reality, after years, a decade even, most people simply cannot keep up. They are not built for it. I have tried over and over and almost every guy I talk up or support cannot do what I do.
The guys who can? I meet them as they are already doing it. They don't need others, they just do what they do.
Hard to explain, but talk to a person who lives with fat people who is fit and tries to help them. It is very rare where you see it successful, until it gets so bad there is no other choice. And even then people often fail.
Now I have women who will get mad at me for not approaching them fucking sooner when they make it obvious they want to talk.
In their head they see a handsome fit guy who is ignoring their passive advances or their version of letting him know they're interestrd, do of course he's either gay or an asshole. No bitch, I have such crippling self confidence when it comes to women I have to either be drunk or actively get over that mindset to walk over to you and not sound like a nervous fucking idiot.
Shit like that becomes the next level game you start having to play and be aware of. Managing others expectstions of others because guesss what, you are setting or buttressing up against they higher expectations for men. You are in that 20% or smaller of guys that have their shit together, at least on the surface level, but thats where all the shit starts.
So you have to start working on yourself internally AND externally. When you start doing that you never have to worry about getting a date. You will be the 1% of the 1%. You will date models, daughters of rich businesses men who know what power looks like instinctually, they will smell the odor of your fucking soul and turn their heads like "What the fuck is that?" Because you will be a breath of fresh air to a person who has never had anything but the hot breath of rotted losers suffocating them with their pathetic and polluted oxygen around her.
Still won't make up for the fact my mom was a vindictive, emotionless and heartless growing up. But man, does it feel good.
Shit man, long ass post but I relate with everything you said. The feeling of becoming someone who stands out from the crowd is intoxicating. It's one of the main things that keep me going.
How fit are you brother? Height? Frame?
6' aiming for thr golden ratio look of 1.61. Shoulders measured around are 50, chest is 44, waist is still at 35. Just got done with abulk in Jan and been trying out recomp and switching to a straight up cut in April. Natty, but no hate of frauds because I think about it a lot.
I was lucky because I'm in early 30's now and been lifting since high school because A) i hated going home, b) I had a great gym teacher who was a marine drill instructor who just fucking spoke my language. He was one of maybe5 teachers I had that wasn't fucking full of shit and I took it and ran. By the time I was in college I had hit my full height, was hitting 3 plates on my bench by sophmore/junior year in college and 10% bf was normal year round. As a fucking 4.0 OMIS major btw. Again, I was naturally gifted with people despite my crippling self doubt/hate.
I had so many women that were into me, but these head issues I had? Didn't deal with them yet. For example, I had a girl, blonde, blue eyes, typic english/Irish mix from the suburbs. 5'10, solid size C and fit and 20 years old. We would run, workout and I had her on my bed one day giving a back massage, bra undone, but not exposed, but I couldn't make a move. I justified it because she had a boyfriend back home, but she would have left him if I told her I wanted no messy strings for us to move forward. In a heartbeat.
Never did that, I just pussied out in frustration and just hid that I was being a honorable guy by not sleeping with her because she was involved. Bullshit. I would have never even gone there in the first place if that shit was true.
Thats what I'm getting at here bros. Don't be me in college. Or get past that. Once you can identify your own bullshit thinking snd translate what you want in a cool but direct fashion? Women will fall for you. So hard that in my experience the game becomes no longer about managing pussy as an inventory, but managing it as logistics and profitability.
Dont forgot the golden rule: dont be short
Why do manlets live rent free in your head?
In highschool I went from 250 to a muscular 175 and it was lifechanging.
After college I blew up to 310lbs at 6ft. Currently cutting and I'm back down to 255 at the moment. Still fat, but stocky with broad shoulders.
The difference is absolutely night and day. When I was 300lbs I was pretty much just ignored in public. My self confidence was already shit, so my personality couldn't shine through the fatness. Now that I'm less of a lardass strangers at least chat with me. Cashiers will make small talk, I catch women staring sometimes, etc. Nothing dramatic romantically because I'm mostly still a shutin autist, but I've been approached at social outing by women and was able to get their number. Dates fizzled out to nothing because my social skills are very poor, but I'm getting better and also losing weight.
>treated like a person
>clothes fit better
>hate myself less
I'll throw in my story.
obese through high school. Got fit last year of high school. Fit all of college until about 2 years past (~24yo old). Obese again until ~30. From 30-33 (now), became fit.
It's night and day. My fat face looks disgusting. My fit face is very handsome and proportioned well. I got 0 notice, totally invisible until college. There I became the typical college bro and fucked a lot of women, etc. Post college, super easy to pick up women in bars (boston), but then as soon as I hit a particular tipping point in weight, my face swelled up with fat, and absolutely 0 interest. I'm not kidding when I say night and day.
Rat race, fat, made it up the ladder. Covid let me re-evaluate, I hermit'd and got fit again. Now I've had interest from really drunk MILFs at bars since I'm "exotic", a lot of the women are gross but I'll take the compliment (seriously older women love me, no idea). Also had interest from some acquaintances/friends. It's almost annoying when a platonic friend who you have 0 attraction to is really crushing hard and you're trying not to notice.
I have a long-term GF now, soon to be fiance this year. Met while I was fit of course.
My personal experience is that being fit vs. fat is an entirely night and day experience in life.