What routine will keep me young forever?

What routine will keep me young forever?

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Killing yourself the day before you turn 26

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Consuming a regimented dose of mercury

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      RFK Junior coded

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Grow up manchild autismo

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Unironically this, infantilism is a fricking disease on society

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Unironically this, infantilism is a fricking disease on society

      Not wanting to age is natural, only losers who let themselves go completely act like it doesn't bother them.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You live with your parents

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Your parents are dead

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Nothing wrong with that

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >lives with parents
            >contributes nothing to the house
            >posts on IST
            If these apply to you, there absolutely is everything wrong with you

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I do all the chores on the farm before I go to work

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          My parents live with me

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    1xf trusting on the Lord Jesus.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Straight up

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Don't ever become cynical, negative or stuck in your ways. I've seen people age with exuberant spirits and a joie de vivre that far exceeds lil' shitty chubby zoomers. Youth is part mentality, part habit, and the two construct each other.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    facials from twink tops

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Retinol in the winter and vitamin C creams in the summer
    Sunscreen all year round (face, neck, hands mainly - if you are showing more skin, apply to those areas as well) avoid the sun in general
    Lots of water
    Exercise
    Moisturise your body (never forget knees, elbows)
    Sweet potato improves your skin as well
    Clean your insides too (green juices and avoid milk products, especially highly processed ones)
    Do not pop pimples until they are ready (or invest in pimple patches)

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah dude rubbing Chinese chemicals on your face, staying indoors and not popping pimples sure is going to slow down the inevitable march of time and degradation of the human body

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Do you have any other sardonic blabberings to share with the board, anon?

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Pumfly stretches.
    The pumfly is a little known muscle that controls aging. The more you stretch it, the longer you live, and strengthening it will make you look younger.
    It is anatomically located between the postcentral gyrus and the distal phalangus.
    It’s a very deep muscle, kinda like the transverse abdominus, but even deeper, beneath the bone.
    The way you stretch it is by reaching with your hand over your head (not around or to either side, only over) grab your scrotum, and pull it to your chest. Most people can’t do this, which is why they grow old and die.
    Once you can pull it to your face, you will become immortal, but still suffer the effects of aging. To prevent this, start adding weight beginning with a two pound dumbbell. Don’t start with a five pound dumbbell, or try to push your progress to much, as injury of the pumfly will result in instant bodily death, but you will remain conscious until your body rots away. The fastest you should progress with this exercise is by adding one pound a week.
    Seriously, don’t snap your shit.
    Once you work your way up to your body weight, you will stop aging, and any weight more than that will put your aging in reverse.
    Also don’t forget about diet. One of the best foods for your pumfly is raw garloid milk. They don’t sell it in stores, and don’t be fooled by bottled garloid milk that says “RAW” that’s just a brand name. You’ll have to get one of your own garloids for that. There’s usually a garloid thread every once in a while on this board, keep lurking till you find one, and you’ll learn all you need to know from one of those. And, of course, the most important thing to do to stay young forever, is to stay playful. Not that it has anything to do with this post.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Just so you know, I've talked to a lot of troons, and this is the most common denominator. Even more than being feminine. Get this impulse out of your head immediately.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Not working. I was a neet until 2 years ago, and in these two years I’ve aged what I didn’t age in 10.

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