You ARE strong enough to start a lawnmower, right? Posted on April 15, 2023 by Anonymous You ARE strong enough to start a lawnmower, right?
Even as a kid I remember thinking boomer lawn flexing is the gayest shit
Same thing with grills.
If you’re throwing a bbq party in your yard and you’re burning the food, you dont get to be butthurt when I take over the grill to ensure that all the food doesnt get ruined, yet some people do get really upset when another man uses their grill
Why would you ever touch another man's grill. If you didn't buy the food you don't touch my grill. I don't care if I cook your steak well done. Or if your hotdogs are beef jerky. You touch my grill you're getting grill lines on your face.
That's because you kids don't own houses. You live in apartments, perpetually pay rent and have no equity. When you have a house, a nice lawn is the icing on the cake to let all your neighbors know your house is nice. Because everyone has to mow their lawn, it's only natural to compare lawns. Its the equivalent of having better form and lifting more than someone else. Yeah you have a lawn 2, but its not as green and weed free as mine
LMAO I will take your grill, and you will stand there like a beta shit and watch me cook a proper steak.
Want me to raise your kids and fuck your wife for you too?
>watch me cook a proper steak
let me guess 30 seconds each side mr alpha male? and you have your own hot sauce collection too?
Hey, I was just joking man, no need to get upset. Now go home and get your fucking A1.
Its the best way you retarded veganbrained moron
oh for sure, the parasites are just extra protein if you're strong.
>he lives in a shithole with worms in the meat
if you live somewhere you cannot eat raw beef straight out of the package you are the cattle, bitch
Only if you're so masculine you let sitcom dads decide your personality for you.
If you enjoy anything more than a rare steak then you need to anhero unironically. Rare is objectively the most flavorful and best way to enjoy a steak
Hotsauce and Hispanicy food contests have also been pissing contest for wannabe macho whitemen.
In the US it's all "b-woy, ya'll can't yer hot sauce! Mexican Bob at the Taco-joint always makes em extra Hispanicy fur me!".
It's the same in the UK with geezers and curry "korrrr! Sanjay at the Curry-Ouse always duz me curry proper hotter cos 'e knows I can 'andle it!".
It's cringe whiteboi behaviour.
Don't forget the heckin bacon my dude!
why the fuck did soys take over hot sauce? i feel like a fag buying sauces now because of this. a good hot sauce (not HELL FIRE XTREME GHOST MEXICUNT PEPPER EXTRACT MEGA DEATH moron SAUCE, i just mean a nice flavour with a good nip of heat) is great on some chicken.
fuck you sean evans. bald cunt!
sorry bro we don't make the rules, hot sauce is extremely soi along with whiskey, beards and working out with those hammers or axes or whatever
I don't cook my steak, I eat it raw. Yes, that's safe if you don't live in a third world country.
>That's because you kids don't own houses.
Because boomers own more than half the houses here despite making up a minority of the population. Supply cannot meet demand.
Jesus, what a waste of life. You get 70 years on this planet and you waste them on meaningless pissing contests. You are pic related personified.
he said on IST.
>NO, REAL MEN AREN'T ALLOWED TO ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES WHILE TAKING A SHIT
if you take more than 30 seconds to take a shit there is something wrong with you.
Stfu boomer you assholes read the newspaper or magazines while taking a shit. Not much has changed.
>reading and updating yourself on world/local news versus IST
>nooo you can't judge me for using IST but I can judge you for taking pride in your house!!!111
You really are pathetic.
>reading and updating yourself on world/local news
Hahaha. Yeah, bro, sure, reading propaganda makes you a better person.
Imagine being that meaninglessly competitive w/other ppl your whole life. “My house is nice because I manicure my lawn pleb” jfc.
No alarms and no surprises
You can be OCD about your lawn and go way too hardcore and try to be "nicest house on the block" guy and you are then a douchebag.
However--if you don't take a little pride in mowing your lawn and having your house look nice you're trash. Thats poor people shit. What do you think separates the nice suburbs from the shit suburbs. Its called property taxes you fucking stupid kids. I'm 35 and while I'm not hardcore about my lawn since i live next to the woods I make sure I at least did some landscaping and my gutters are aranged properly for water flow (which helps prevent flooding) and I mow my lawn and weed whack 1x a week. Guess who doesn't give a shit about their lawn? Dindus. Indians. Guess who has low property taxes and higher crime? You guessed it. Its also healthier for your lawn to mow it every so often. You don't wanna be that guy that just has a big patch of dead grass or mud, it sucks letting the dogs out and letting the kids play and they come back looking like swamp thing.
I"m starting to think I'm getting too old for this website. Fucking kids have no idea what they're talking about. I don't expect you to want your home to look like the Palace of Versaille
But if you are a MAN you:
>take care of yourself
>take care of your family
>take care of your palace (home)
Its called being a normal fucking good person and not living like a nog
This must be an American thing, no home owner in my country, even the in the richest neighborhoods, mows their lawn more often than maybe every two months. We just make sure to put down new grass seeds and remove aggressive weeds - but mowing once a week? Why would you? Longer grass looks nicer, it's better for insects and it is less likely to brown during summer.
maybe, I don't know. I have only been to a rural part of 2 other countries and one was Canada which is basically the same as us and the other was Finland, and I didn't ask them about their lawncare routine.
Around here most people have a lawn service, and those retards come weekly, even if it hasn't even rained, and cut on the shortest setting like giving the lawn a buzz cut, it's retarded. If I'm trying to maintain a lawn sometimes I cut frequently, depending on the rain and grass growth, but I cut at the highest setting on my mower so my grass and weeds nice and thick and lush.
This post is like the epitome of America , my sides omg...
The key to RIPPEN IT is to the pull the slack out of the cable before giving her a good ol yank
Imagine me paving my lawn and ruining your property values for the lulz
And ruining your own at the same time out of some weird bitter resentment.
>Yeah you have a lawn 2, but its not as green and weed free as mine
based boomer shitposter
I have a house with a nice garden, but I deliberately don't mow my lawn and let weeds grow there because I like a wild meadow better than a trimmed lawn. Also attracts more insects, which I like, especially bumblebees. I spend most of my garden time tending my flowers and trees, which I grow at the borders of the meadow. Lawns are both ugly and an offense to nature and God.
>dis burger ain't gots no seesonin on it. He prolly ain't even wash he meat.
>when you're in your yard you don't get to be upset when another man uses your stuff
nah, that one's fair.
No dude. You think you can commandeer someone's kitchen if they're throwing a dinner party and say "I'm taking over this oven as it's clear you can't cook properly, I am now master of the lasagna operation" without being fucking rude? Why is the grill any different?
>being so beta that you don’t host all parties, even the ones you are invited too
Haha your gay dude
I used to have parties at my dad's summer house and my 2 friends would always end up BBQing
I don't give a shit because then I don't have to do it
I enjoy a slightly burnt taste to shit when I grill, if you don't like it tough shit kiddo
lmao, using a pull start is all about technique.
>pull a couple times with it off to get some fuel in the cylinder
>turn on, choke depending on where you live/how cold it is
>get to tdc, reset handle
Looking good man.
seriously, but don't expect normies to understand this. I can drop start a chainsaw first try in any weather and know it has nothing to do with strength but knowing how to prep the motor to be able to do is job.
Careful with the yank though, so many pull start tools have old worn out or partially dry rotted cords. Got start easy and smoothly accelerate as it catches. Worst is if you just yank the fuck out of it from the start while there's slack, it'll tear right off.
What kind of enormous gay doesn't want some char on his meat? It's half the point of grilling, why would you even bother if you don't like it?
It's why I only grill with charcoal, propane is for cucks.
I cooked that chicken breast on propane retard. Propane starts faster is easier to temp control makes less of a mess and costs less than charcoal. I will admit that charcoal does taste better but it's a pain in the ass to work with and too expensive. Propane isn't perfect but it's a really good compromise especially if you don't have a lot of time or autism.
if you serve me burnt food i'm just throwing it out. money down the drain. sucks for you.
I just beat mine
Nah you can leave
>mfw all these replies
I learned something new today
i don't care how crispy the food gets you don't touch my fucking grill.
if you did this to me i'd make it my life goal to fuck your wife
you never touch another man's grill the hell is wrong with you. if you don't like the food don't it and don't come back. taking over the grill is a woman's move, be better then that
Lawns are fucking retarded. Ugly, bland, soulless. Get a real fucking garden.
What do you do for the birds, deer, raccoons, rodents, bunnies, and insects?
Most people don't actually do this shit. Anytime lawns get brought up online liberals and RETVRNfags alike come out of the woodwork to talk up their BASED garden lawns and how traditional lawns are a horrible waste of water, etc. yet you will see very very few people actually do this in real life. what they don't talk about is the pitiful yields these gardens have unless you put in a lot of work. I can tell you as someone has a small lawn and a small garden the lawn is much less work and resources. I can understand criticizes super short heavily overwatered lawns but you can take care of your lawn without making it into a golf course and most of these garden lawn people are talking out of their ass.
I currently rent, but when I had a house I just mowed and that was it. Men who spray their lawns are mentally ill. The point of a lawn is to use it not to show it off. I'm not gonna put poison everywhere so dogs and kids can't be let out on it.
>growing a garden in the car infested murrican suburbs
>he doesn't live in a climate with high annual rainfall
Doesn't even have to be a garden, just plant a variety of wild flowers and other native plants to create an oasis for insects and other wild life. They desperately need it.
>aaah fuck why do i keep getting stung by bees?!?!
Lawns are gay, but I don't want to deal with a shitload of bees every time I walk outside
You some kind of gay?
Bees are based bro insects. And so are wasps and hornets and ants and all the rest 2bh. As long as you're in tune with nature they don't fuck with you, they just chill.
This poster is a bee or wasp
Don't believe his lies
Nah he's right, at least about bumblebees. When I was a kid I saved one from drowning in our pool and he let me pet him. Ever since I have felt a natural bond with this creature. They're bros.
yeah, bumblebees are nice. do a bzzzz and then SMACK when they hit your forehead by accident
I always thought guys who simped for bees seemed like bitches. To be honest, the kind of guy who thinks fucking bees and wasps are cool is probably the kind of twink gay that I'd fuck if I met him in a dark alley. I can just imagine myself overpowering him, growing erect as he quivers in fear of a real man. I could probably secure both his wrists with one hand, and pull his pants down to his thighs with the other. I'd enter him missionary, to complete my dominance of him.
See, men enter each other from behind bent over like animals blindly following their instincts. But a woman, a woman you enter while facing her. You look her in the eye to watch the look in her face as she takes your length. I'd do the same with this fag. I'd slip myself inside his tight hole, and jackhammer that shit until his prostate was throbbing with pleasure. Honest to God, it would give me perverse pleasure to watch his eyes roll into the back of his head as I flooded his boyhole with cum, and then went back to my life of enjoying mantids as the best insects
HOAs are to blame more than le dumb public, you're literally obligated to follow their rules or you don't get your mortgage
Most people put up with it because homeownership means more to them
What's the cost difference if I just astroturf?
I grow sugarcane for shading my house.
I'm honestly thinking about beemaxxing, but I'm afraid of getting sued if someone gets a really bad reaction to a sting.
This post is invalidated if you have kids though. A lawn is where the kids can actually play outside.
This. Boomers blow the leaves and mow their lawns because they're too fhcjinf stupid to figure out how to garden or landscape. Its symbolic of everything that is wrong with our modernist hellscape. Instead if actually achieving something beautiful or worthwhile, obese men lazily push machines around their cookie-cutter property, which looks exactly like that of millions of others. Our European Hunter Gatherer and Early European Farmer ancestors KILLED, RAPED, and fucking ATE eachother. Before that hunter gathererwancestors in Africa killed large game during extended multi day hunting trips, picked fruit from trees, and watched their women give birth squatting like fucking players instead if needing pitching drips and C sections to rip children out of bodies so corrupted by the modern world that western woman are increasingly capable of BREASTFEEDING their own children. 50,000 years ago a boy became a man in an elaborate ritual whereby trials and feats of endurance were needed. Now they learn how to start the lawn mower and walk in straight lines.
It's like watching a dog try to dig a hole in a carpeted floor, or "cute" videos of domesticated beavers building dams in their owner's houses out of retarded shit like pillows. It's a hollow, desperate, mindless mammalian reflex that is but the faint echo of what our species is capable of doing. Men are hunters, achievers, and conquerors of spaces--not juat militarily, but logistically. Male humans evolved to execute complex series of camp-building, hunting, group-organizing, and tool using behaviors in-tune with the specific demands and limitations of his local biome. Now they boast of their skill in cookin meat others have killed in metal boxes. moron, 8,000 years ago people being tossed into the TALHEIM DEATH PIT and were being mutilated in gory cannabilistic RITUAL SLAUGHTER. Life is so fucking easy now and I'm fine with that, but modern males having ANY pride in it is the greatest cope in history.
read like the first 2 or 3 lines but you're overthinking it
it depends upon the ratio of lawn to house size (ground floor anyway)
a lawn which is WAY bigger than its house looks pretty weird, at least within the city. for instance there are some yards that are like a half acre here with these little 4-bedroom ranch houses. if you could fit more than one additional house on your yard it's too big to be tbh.
Keep renting poorfag.
Aren't most "homeowners" just renting from the bank?
it's not renting if you get the thing at the end of payments
Do you get to stop paying property taxes to the state after you pay off the mortgage, you cuck retard?
that wasn't what you asked retard, you aren't indebted to the bank anymore, you are just paying the state
So you still don't own it then huh? If you have to keep paying someone so they don't take your housing and kick you out you don't own it. Whether it's a landlord, the bank, or the government. It's not yours, cuck.
Fucking idiots. Homesteading isn't a thing anymore unless you go out to Alaska or some shit and live a ROUGH live. Dick Proneke was a rare breed man. Shit isn't easy.
Yes, in 1st world countries, even if you own your land you have to pay property tax. Welcome to reality.
"HURR DURR YOUR JUST A SLAVE TO THE garden gnome STATE INSTEAD OF THE garden gnome BANK"
Yes you fucking retard this is how the world works. But once you have your house paid off you will never have to worry about being homeless. Average home is probably 250,000$ in the US. Property Taxes are less than 10,000$ in most places. In my city they're only 3100 because I live in a 3000 person town.
Property taxes pay for shit like schools, roads, salaries of the local city workers, cops fire department, infrastructure....
You can't opt out. Even if you could. I highly doubt you'd like not having a PD, FD, roads, water, sewage and functioning street lights you buffoon
Does fuck all, just state enforcers
Sure but if you were in a proper community you'd probably have a volunteer FD made up of you and neighbors
Would still exist, and I'm fine with dirt/gravel. People who require them would maintain them to a sufficient level
>functioning street lights
Street lights are an affront to nature. Fuck light pollution.
The bank owns it and can take it at any time. And you'll also need to pay the government for permission to live their for your entire life, including when you also pay the bank for permission to live there.
LITERALLY NOTHING makes your balls secrete more test as when your lawn absolutely MOGS a neighbour's one
It is like killing a man in armed combat
I am superior to you
>rentoids need not respond they don't even exist in mans's world
>LITERALLY NOTHING makes your balls secrete more test as when your lawn absolutely MOGS a neighbour's one
>It is like killing a man in armed combat
Nothing except watching them seethe as they pour expensive chemicals and bullshit over it because your natural "weed" (wildflower) filled yard colonizes their gay barren monoculture.
pic VERY relevant
>butthort rentoids using their big boy words like 'milk toast' thinking they're smart when they get no bitches
I just want you to look at yourself and realize what your life has become. It's embarrassing.
>I have achieved nothing and I take believe myself superior for not taking pride in things
Ok, whatever helps you cope at night.
this post brought to you by the homeowner's association. I can't imagine anything more milquetoast than taking care of your lawn, and you compare it to killing a man in armed combat. Sad.
i had a house and i stopped cutting the lawn and the city threatened to cut it for me and bill me
i was just not cutting it to spite my neighbors because i hate morons who try to tell me how to maintain my house and lawn
the lesson i learned is that the government are morons
>cranking a push mower
so that dude starts a landmower for the rival dad?
what's next, mowing rival dad's lawn? raising rival dad's kids?
I like mowing MY lawn
never saw the whole season, did the nihilistic twink fuck the other guy's wife?
Yes. First he mowed his lawn, then he ploughed his wife
yes, but it was his wife getting revenge for her husband having an affair.
My father in law bought my house, mows my lawn, raises my daughter, and cooks dinner for my wife while I'm at work. He's extremely helpful but he's mogging the shit out me.
You just know
If you don’t like my cooking at my party you can leave my yard.
anon... i don't think that it's your daughtstm2ter...
Dude you need to put your foot down and get some distance. He doesn’t see you as a capable adult and there is a small but significant chance he is fucking your wife aka his daughter.
I berate him for wanting to be the father of my house when it gets egregious but talk only goes so far and the money I'll never have to pay for said house goes a little further.
Next step is mowing the other dudes wife
>ah thanks, man. i was struggling with this for a while i really appreciate it.
Anything beyond that is prick waving by 2 dudes insecure in themselves whether it be the guy starting the mower to "prove" his worth or the other guy being assblasted because he had to ask someone for help. It is some of the gayest, gayiest shit imaginable that makes literal gays say, "That's pretty gay, bro."
Is this really the shit natty dyels do to prove they are slightly less weak than some other loser?
Just add an extra 3 priming pumps to fraud mower starts.
T. Mowed lawns for over a decade as a kid.
>Just add an extra 3 priming pumps to fraud mower starts.
>T. Mowed lawns for over a decade as a kid.
THIS. OP's pic is not telling people his little secret.
i'm a natural gardener
The first dad probably primed it for him. This is my true story:
>bolt is frozen
>can't break it loose
>spray it with PB blaster, let it soak
>4 hours later bro comes over with his gf
>mention how I was struggling with the bolt earlier
>he walks over and breaks it loose
>girls look at me like dyel
>mention how I was struggling with the bolt earlier
>he walks over and breaks it loose
you set yourself up for that one
>"never open yourself to a potential mog unless you're preparing a reverse mogging trap"
>niccolo machiavelli, the prince, ch14
I forgot how well that PB blaster shit works. I was going to let it sit overnight but 4 hours was more than enough time. He easily broke it loose with one hand
>and so prince anon was mogged by his friend and rival
>his protests of adept rulership went unheard, and his kingdom was lost
>"it was the work of alchemy!" he screamed as he was driven into the wastes
i have an identical story except instead of breaking it loose he rounded the bolt off
>boomers think the deciding factor of starting a push mower is cord pulling technique
Kek. They are just shitty old motors with clogged up carb. Its just a game of luck whether it starts first pull or not.
Americans are all closeted gays
If you do this, just remember to start the mower OFF THE GRASS. You'll look like an absolute retard if you try to start it on the grass, especially if the grass is wet, pro tip
>You'll look like an absolute retard if you try to start it on the grass, especially if the grass is wet
only if you're a dyel
>only if you have a dyel mower
>pull lawn mower cord
>the entire mower moves but the cord is just as short as before
Wtf is this gay bullshit.
>lawn mower crank-mog a rival dad in front of his family
that goes on my bucket list
gotta have goals to aim for in life and that one is stupid enough for me
The crankshaft on my mower is bent and makes the whole thing vibrate like crazy. Hands literally hurt after mowing my lawn. I'm too weak to bend it back without using tools.
Rival Dad? What king of gay, gay shit is that? This dude deserves to be cucked for being a petty retard.
This is some fucking sad, boomer shit.
Pretty sure he's being a bit ironic and is self-aware of it.
Cranking lawnmowers has nothing to do with being strong. I could start them when I was 11 years old. When I was 20 I would have to pull it to start the lawnmore for my really old dad (RIP) who still had a lot of farmer strength but was 73 and slower. I could pull it quickly while his arms were strong but he couldn't pull it as fast.
Did I mention I was a complete dyel.
im gonna fuck his wife
Man, this thread just shows me how many lazy & advert to nature Americans there are
>abuuuuu da beez & laydeebuhgz & wormz & butterflyz n shiet theyz gun hurt me booooo
>i aint wastin' my time to tend to no gadamn dert
>why grow vegetuhbulls n frootz when eyez can buy demz frum walmart
> da HOA wown lemme chaynge mai lawn n shiet
have a nice day right now. If you dont live in a hellhole megacity with skyscrapers & you dont have ANY crops in your yard nor any native flora that attracts native cute birds to the area, have a nice day.
Fuck you, bumblebitches. I'll fuck you straight up your fuzzy, stripped asses
Man, FUCK you. Bees produce the best & only honey in the world. Or do you eat vegan honey which is just sugar turned into a paste?
you live in some shitty flat in a moronmetropolis in europe. what would you know about lawns? you've never even seen anything but brick and concrete in your life. you've never seen a wolf or a bear or any wildlife at all. you've never been camping because you don't own a car and rely on public transport. you've never lived in a house in the woods because euros aren't allowed to build in a green belt. you've never lived in a comfy suburb either because "suburbs" in europe are just moron project buildings on the outskirts of the moronmetropolis. when we need advice on getting raped by pakis, or not questioning the holocaust, we'll ask you.
>he thinks Im a euro
Lmao, have a nice day Ligger Nover
You didn't deny or disprove anything I said
I'm not a weak gay. I use a scythe like my ancestors before me.
wtf is that shit? not american
It's something we usually refer to as a 'joke.'
this is the most American thread I've seen today
Yes, because my mower is electric and requires a gentle button-press to start.
You can tell things never went beyond that because he posted it on Twitter. That single event must have made his month
Exactly lol the other dude might have thought about it for 3 seconds but it's made this retard's month
I could start a lawnmower when I was a twiggy 12 year old. Why would I struggle to do that now?
If you really want to mog another dad. Play with their kids. Most dads are out of shape and can't keep up with their kid. A little foot racing, play wrestling, or even playing cars will get all the wives looking at you wishing their husband's were like you
>make lawnmower thread
>all 40 to 60 fitzens come out of the woodwork and start arguing