anons who suffered with suicidal thoughts, did lifting help?

anons who suffered with suicidal thoughts, did lifting help?

  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yes.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      thats good. going to start tonight hopefully it will give me a sense of power over my life

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        dont just lift tho. lift while eating clean and not doing drugs.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          And don't jackoff, have a good sleep schedule.

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    yes

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    It’s the only thing that kept me alive.

    The Bible was the only thing I could fix the root problem with.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      yes

      >The Bible

      no

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      who did you hit with the bible to fix your problems?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        my kids

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I can neither confirm nor deny the existance or nonexistance of thoughts, actions, established or related emotions that present as a threat to myself and/or others.

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I do not recall.

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    pregnenonlone dhea progesterone

    sunshine and nature

    "Never trust a thought that occurs to you indoors." - Nietzche

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >"Never trust a thought that occurs to you indoors." - Nietzche
      is this true? ive basically spent my entire life indoors

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing.
        Hemingway

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          walk at night bro. but hes right

          >"Never trust a thought that occurs to you indoors." - Nietzche
          is this true? ive basically spent my entire life indoors

          sincerely, go outside

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            I used to do nightwalks. Don't any more. Hard enough just getting out of bed, and going on walks in a big city is somehow more depressing than in a small quiet town with no people around after 8pm.

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              just do it dude. literally just walk

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                It doesn't help.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        It's a phrase. It's not literal, but time spent outdoors absolutely enhances mood. It might not cure you, but it'll help.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >- Nietzche
      Is that supposed to give the quote more credibility? Nietsche was a dyel schizo

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    No. I became even more depressed when I realized I had a bad frame

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    BLACKED JAV saved my life

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      what is blacked jav?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      lel

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      How do I star in blacked jav

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah, though I wouldn't say it made me ecstatic.

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    yes, it's really the main reason I lift

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    For a few months, sure, right up until I hit a hard plateau and they came back even harder.

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    yes and muay thai helped more

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    once the devil grab hold, that bro aint letting go

  14. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    yeah

  15. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Kind of

  16. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Okay, bro. I will tell you the truth. I started lifting after breaking up with my abusive bipolar ex. I was suicidal, and lonely. We lived together for 2 years and dated for 3. I started lifting since it was better than self harm yet still felt like it. After a while the routine: eating healthy, going to gym at same time daily, going to bed at a decent hour, etc. all became natural. I noticed my body changing and it gave me some kind of purpose in life. It made me forget about girls and focus on myself. The discipline I acquired from the gym transferred to other parts of life. It wasn’t easy, but I knew nothing was easy from my fitness journey. I looksmaxxed myself and socialmaxxed by becoming a non autist and talking to people. I developed character and became aware of what a healthy relationship with another human is. This ultimately made me more happy. This board is toxic and makes you think all women and “normal fags” are losers. But the reality is that we are social creatures and we need others to be happy. Fitness can give you this. Good luck.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Adding to my post, lifting alone won’t fix your problems. But it will give you the discipline to fix them yourself.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      How old were you when the relationship ended and how old are you now? Any gfs since her?
      Good job on making it anon, proud of you.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        I was 21 when the relationship ended. I am 23 now. Have been lifting for 1.5 years 6x a week non-stop. I've had 1 girlfriend since then (still in the relationship). Through discipline from lifting I was able to become more social and develop skills needed to filter out through dogshit women like my ex. Never, ever give up.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Okay, bro. I will tell you the truth. I started lifting after breaking up with my abusive bipolar ex. I was suicidal, and lonely. We lived together for 2 years and dated for 3. I started lifting since it was better than self harm yet still felt like it. After a while the routine: eating healthy, going to gym at same time daily, going to bed at a decent hour, etc. all became natural. I noticed my body changing and it gave me some kind of purpose in life. It made me forget about girls and focus on myself. The discipline I acquired from the gym transferred to other parts of life. It wasn’t easy, but I knew nothing was easy from my fitness journey. I looksmaxxed myself and socialmaxxed by becoming a non autist and talking to people. I developed character and became aware of what a healthy relationship with another human is. This ultimately made me more happy. This board is toxic and makes you think all women and “normal fags” are losers. But the reality is that we are social creatures and we need others to be happy. Fitness can give you this. Good luck.

          Based
          I welcome more anons like you rather than the whiny childish incels

  17. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Lifting can help with depression. I recommend adding running for best results. I rarely go to the gym now, mainly run, pushups, and pullups.

  18. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I had suicidal thoughts since I was in 3rd grade. I didn't stop having them until I was 24. You need to move out, change your diet, AND change your thoughts. You need to think more positively. You could say, "well that's not the truth everything is really bad" and even in the most dire circumstances that is not true. Be thankful for every moment you get, treat every misfortune as a chance to grow and learn, and don't focus on things that are fearful or anxiety inducing.

  19. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Not really to be honest with you OP whenever I’m lifting or running I feel great but it only takes about an hour after I’m done to feel depressed again I literally contemplate my suicide almost everyday

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      This.
      And seeing as you posted a Berserk image anon I'll share autism:
      >do core/ab meme workout every evening just to do something that properly distracts my depression retard brain
      >when I start struggling activate autism mode and think of when Guts cut his arm off and lunged at Griffith
      >or when Griffith lies broken and he sees himself pointing at his dream
      >or when she broke my heart
      >completely drenched in sweat
      >alternate between being hyped up and angry, and laughing at myself for being such a fucking mess
      >shower, eat, tired enough to fall asleep within 10 minutes
      >wake up after a shitty sleep and depressionmax in bed for at least 3 hours
      I really should try forcefully rolling myself off the bed to hit the floor and immediately do the memecercises, maybe it would help. I hate mornings so much. I wish a bus would flatten my fucking skull bros.

  20. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    No.
    Got a bad depression after looking back on my childhood and realizing that what I considered "normal" was actually abuse and that a lot of my issues as an adult comes from that (sister was even diagnosied with PTSD, not looking good for me).
    Taking anti-depressants actually helped me get out of it (even if they have the secondary effect of making it harder for me to coom). And yes, I know it's not a permanent fix.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >And yes, I know it's not a permanent fix.
      Can't live with them, can't live without them. It fucking sucks. They really have to stop being called "anti-depressants", it doesn't remove depression, it removes feelings period. I read there was a study that showed how even though they don't have any effect on cognitive abilities or feeling, you still subjectively feel sluggish and foggy mentally, and I felt that for sure. A couple months after I got off them I was out on a walk and I was listening to music, got random goosebumps, and it made me realize I hadn't felt that in almost 2 years. It's such a small thing but made me realize how a lot of those little positive things disappear when you're on the meds. And then being off the meds, fuck, sure you get to have those brief nice moments where it all washes away for no reason, like a burden off your entire body gets removed. And you get to feel alright or outright good sometimes. But man the low periods are fucking low. I really don't know what the fuck you're supposed to do. Just the cards some people are dealt in life, right? Just gotta fucking cope every day for the rest of your life.
      Reminder:
      >There is no chemical solution to a spiritual problem

      Man it sucks, I'm so tired. I hope you figure something out anon. A psychologist to talk to might be better for you than a psychiatrist and meds.

  21. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    We shall see

  22. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    running, working out, eating healthy whole foods only, progressing towards something, yeah my mood is wayyy better since I started a few months ago.

  23. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Help? Yes.
    Cure? No.

  24. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >anons who suffered with suicidal thoughts
    Suppression from deca made me suicidal. Having no test or estrogen in ur body will also age you like 10 yrs in a few months.

    Walking helped me recover. My test is 650 now (It was 890+ before) and I am alive and grateful.

  25. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    No. Only giving your life over to God can help. If you are not religious you have a hole in you that nothing else will ever fill. Turn to Christ.

  26. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah. Been off the pills for months. If you have actual clinical depression the hardest part is the inertia to start going and to show up to the gym regularly. Some days I really don't want to do it but I noticed I always felt better after so on real low days or weeks I have really force myself to show up. "You know you'll feel better gay" I tell myself and put the keys in the ignition. Also, organize all your stuff in a gym bag and track your progress. Energy is a big problem too so make sure you automate anything that is a barrier (protein bars or shakes if you get too low energy to cook, everything in the gym bag beforehand, etc)

  27. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Lifting and getting fit has amplified my suicidal thoughts.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Why, because it didn't fill the hole inside?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        It finally made me realize after many years that no matter how much I improve myself physically absolutely nothing can fix the mess that is my brain.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah I figured.. I'm not at where I want to be physically yet, but at least the road there is a decent distraction sometimes, everything disappears every once in a while during a struggle.
          What about a gf, anon? That's the only thing I can imagine would help cope with this shit. But man she would have to have a lot of love to give to deal with this. But I guess it's the same shit as getting fit, novelty wears off. Fall in love but over time the brainrot returns. I don't know. Feel like that's the best longterm bet to keep from an heroing.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            If you're lifting with the purpose of getting a gf I think you should give up. The biggest blackpill of them all is that the only thing that matters is your mentality and your personality. I go outside everyday and I see fat, ugly, short men with beautiful girlfriends. If you're a turbo autist who gets anxious at the thought of speaking to a girl then getting fit will not help, at least it didn't help me. The only reason I keep lifting is because it's legitimately the only thing that bring any sort of happiness into my life

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          no because the reason for my suicidal thoughts is my debilitating social anxiety and autism, and my avoidant personality disorder. lifting and cardio have not fixed those problems, therefore i remain a suicidal severely depressed autist

          >It finally made me realize after many years that no matter how much I improve myself physically absolutely nothing can fix the mess that is my brain.
          this is also kinda true for my situation. especially with when you get fit and actually get some female attention but are completely unable to act on it because of your autism. or being fit which makes some guys have something in common with you but you just shut down around them.

          as long as i have severe anxiety and avoidant actions, i will always want to kill myself.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            >my avoidant personality disorder
            Can you expand on how this manifests in you? I'm fairly certain I've got this. Haven't made a new friend in 15 years. I always self isolate

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              i completely avoid social situations and really any sort of regular life processes because i am terrified of failure and rejection. friendships, relationships, even talking to my family, job-related stuff, driving, everything.

  28. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >ITT: wahhh my life isn't perfect I have muh Depression™ and Suicidial Ideation™

    Pathetic. Life's hard, deal with it. Only people with easy-ass lives get Depressed™, people with real problems are too busy for that shit. Grow up, cunts.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I hope you or someone you care for deeply gets depression some day. Or cancer, all the same.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >wahhh, you can't tell me tough truths! Muh Depression™ is totes real!

        Depression™ wasn't a thing until after the industrial revolution, getting increasingly more common the more technologically advanced life becomes. Go live as a hermit in the woods without modern technology and marvel as your fake condition evaporates. Also I used to think I was Depressed™ too, when I was a young stupid gay. Luckily I grew up. At least I was never enough of a piece of shit to wish disease on someone just for telling me the truth. You gay.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Sure, and PTSD and cancer didn't exist either in the past, where's the proof, right? Fuck you're so ignorant it's embarrassing.
          >wishing disease on someone for telling the truth
          I'm wishing you disease because you're one of those annoying know-it-all high school tier retards confidently talking about something they clearly have no idea about. You literally wrote you grew out of your "depression". People like you deserve some real bad shit so you can wisen up and shut the everloving fuck up.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            Correct, those also didn't exist before the industrial revolution.

            >implying nothing bad ever happened to me

            You're literally making shit up because you're a pussy retard that can't accept that you're an enormous useless pussy who has too much free time and has been infected with memes that give you a proclivity toward an artificial emotional state. You also on some level know that I am right about Depression™ only existing in people with easy lives. Can you even imagine a caveman sitting around stroking his apthetic wounded ego crying "wahh life isn't perfect I want to die only I don't really because if I actually wanted to I could easily accomplish it but I want to think about it and tell everyone about how totes sad I am and get attention wahh". No, that shit is ridiculous. Cavemen had to stay busy to survive so didn't have time for attention-seeking fake and gay emotional states.

            I grew up in poverty, had abusive parents, suffered relentless bullying for decades, had violence committed against me since I was a toddler (since I was poor and lived in bad neighborhoods around morons), been harassed by police, lost jobs and relationships due to baseless lies against me, suffered medical issues (some precipitated by the aforementioned unprompted violence against me), have been homeless and malnourished, and more. You're literally just a moron. Pic related, grow up.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >another "le ted kaczynski" gay on IST

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >source: ass

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            source isnt his ass, he's just one of the losers on here who thinks ted kaczynski is his daddy

  29. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    no

  30. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    for me it was cardio and sunbathing

    and yes one hundred percent, i fixed my brain without using psychotropic drugs

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      There was nothing actually wrong with you if all it took was going outside for a run/walk in the sun for 30 mins. That's literally the fucking meme "advice" braindead NPCs give for "curing" depression.

  31. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    No
    I want to kill myself every day I work

    Becoming a NEET is the best decision in my life

  32. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Before lifting
    >suicidal thoughts
    >After lifting
    >homicidal thoughts
    Anyone else?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah doc told me that depression in men can actually just manifest as anger and aggression. Thats what i have mostly. Now you are hyped and confident but still have no dopamine

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Can I get dopamine by assaulting strangers for no reason

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          i mean, my heart says yes, and my brain also says yes. but another part of my brain doesnt want to get cucked by the legal system. i think it should be legal to beat someone with a pipe if they were asking for it.

  33. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    anything that will occupy your mind and keep you from thinking about it will help.

    the more you think the worse it is

    the more you do (anything) the better

  34. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Totally. Working the work I love and lifting made my life great. Would recommend 10/10.

  35. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    It helps, but maturity helps better. Realizing that an "always happy" life doesn't exist for anybody was a good realization, but it helped to hear that from others:

  36. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I actually made a pretty good attempt at suicide when I was 20. Used a box razor, succeeded in hitting one of my wrist veins first try and split it vertically, made a couple other cuts that didn't go anywhere useful. There was no real ideation to it. I had cut myself a few times prior but it was not a major thing for me and I had never really thought of suicide at all. Just broke up with me oneitis and decided that my life had ended.

    At some point watching the blood come out of my wrist I realized I was going to die. Things started to get kind of dark around the edges of my eyes. I hadn't really planned it out or anything, I just drove into a shitty neighborhood so no one that I knew would have to find me. Thankfully I was near enough to an ER that I drove myself there and got patched up. Getting out of the car was the scariest part because I could feel things getting fuzzy every time I stepped with my left foot. I knew I was fucked up but trying to actually walk is when I realized how bad.

    I am ultimately glad that I did not try with a more instantaneous or incapacitating method. Had I been unable to salvage the situation I would have died alone and terrified in crack alley in my shitty Mazda. Maybe I would not have had a chance to be afraid if I used a gun but nothing about nearing death made me believe anything pleasant would follow.

    Some of my "suicidal" friends really hate me. I never told anyone I intended to do it, had no real buildup to it and made a very effective effort at dying. The doctors told me I would have 100% died if I had been a few mm over on one of those cuts and hit another vein. It was enough to shock me back to reality I guess. Maybe it woke up some primal part of my brain that panicked and said "fuck the bitches dont fucking die dont fucking die dont fucking die" or something similar.

    tl;dr death is terrifying and having been on the verge of it, would not rec

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      If real, crazy story bro. Sometimes you don't feel the weight of life until it's nearly gone from you. Lucky you didn't end up crashing the car and dying anyways.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Sometimes anon speaks the truth. The scars are old and I've tried all kinds of ointments to fade them out over the years.

        The middle cut was the real money shot, cut the vein and split the sidewall. The others didn't hit anything good but the middle one produced so much blood it was hard to keep score. I was really lucky I didn't fuck up the tendon in my wrist and spend the rest of my life with a drop hand.

        There are some people nothing is going to help and there are some people who want to die because of some temporary situation they cannot see the other side of. That second one was me. Having someone tell me what it was like to be there, not some bullshit about taking too many xanax and waking up with charcoal on your teeth in the hospital, sitting there watching your shit bubble out every time your heart beats sits different. If I had known what all it would be like, that panic, realizing your closing in on death and your life is down to being measured in minuets and pints, I would not have tried it. I was sober and there for the whole ride from striking the vein to calling my friend's mom to bullshit my way through the psych eval.

        Thinking you want to die and then realizing you fucked up and the clock is ticking are two very different deals. I was lucky that I knew what part of town I was in and there were easy to follow street signs leading me to the ER. Like you said I was lucky I didn't pass out and wreck. I made it inside the building before I really got weak, if I had fallen out there in a dark parking lot 30 feet from the door I would have been toast before anyone found me.

        It wasn't like I was afraid I was going to Hell or had a religious epiphany either. I just felt that survival instinct kick in and everything from there on was just flying by wires. It's not a cool feeling and I'm not tough or cool for putting myself in that shit over a girl.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/1qRu7J4.jpg

      Sometimes anon speaks the truth. The scars are old and I've tried all kinds of ointments to fade them out over the years.

      The middle cut was the real money shot, cut the vein and split the sidewall. The others didn't hit anything good but the middle one produced so much blood it was hard to keep score. I was really lucky I didn't fuck up the tendon in my wrist and spend the rest of my life with a drop hand.

      There are some people nothing is going to help and there are some people who want to die because of some temporary situation they cannot see the other side of. That second one was me. Having someone tell me what it was like to be there, not some bullshit about taking too many xanax and waking up with charcoal on your teeth in the hospital, sitting there watching your shit bubble out every time your heart beats sits different. If I had known what all it would be like, that panic, realizing your closing in on death and your life is down to being measured in minuets and pints, I would not have tried it. I was sober and there for the whole ride from striking the vein to calling my friend's mom to bullshit my way through the psych eval.

      Thinking you want to die and then realizing you fucked up and the clock is ticking are two very different deals. I was lucky that I knew what part of town I was in and there were easy to follow street signs leading me to the ER. Like you said I was lucky I didn't pass out and wreck. I made it inside the building before I really got weak, if I had fallen out there in a dark parking lot 30 feet from the door I would have been toast before anyone found me.

      It wasn't like I was afraid I was going to Hell or had a religious epiphany either. I just felt that survival instinct kick in and everything from there on was just flying by wires. It's not a cool feeling and I'm not tough or cool for putting myself in that shit over a girl.

      this is crazy man. i want to kill myself every day and hate being alive but the thought of having to physically do something myself to kill myself brings me great terror.

  37. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yes

  38. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Nope!

  39. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Nothing has helped.

  40. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    yes but not fully. still needed da meds. tried to quit them and became dangerously aggro. it was basically either start them up again or go to jail.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Big pharma owns your soul.

  41. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    No. Seek therapy.

  42. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Nope, still think of roping constantly. Just have come to the conclusion I’m too fucked up. I hang on for mom but once she’s gone I’m saying good night too.

  43. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly it did for a little while but now I feel my situation is worse. Before I had hope that everything would be better as soon as I got a shredded athletic physique, that somehow it would all fall in place. But I got knocked down a few times and suddenly all that confidence I had developed was gone. I realised my friends were incompatible with my new healthy lifestyle so now I have no friends and with no one to go out with and do things or take photos of me I still have very minimal social presence and no chance of getting a girlfriend. I am shredded as fuck, I'm talking full blown 8 pack, 20 strict form pull ups, it takes me forever to fatigue when I target my core and my cardio is through the roof but it isn't enough. The thing is I cannot do any better than this. I gave it my all and I didn't make it. Sometimes that's just how it is. I cannot make it in this world. But it's not too late for some of you. You will never know unless you try.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      This is word for word my life story, damn...

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        I hope that you make it, anon. The truth is I was in an accident two years ago and it truly fucked me up. It wasn't that bad physically but I had insomnia for a year afterwards and I've never been the same since then. I had completely accepted that I would have to kill myself but funnily enough I felt ashamed to leave behind a disgusting skinny fat pear shaped body so I resolved to work out to get in shape. I know it's ironic that I worked out so that I could kill myself, not so that I could live, but after a while my overall health started to get better, I felt better physically and mentally and people started treating me better. People were happy to see me, I was confident and feeling great just walking around knowing I had the best body in 9/10 rooms I went in. I genuinely started to believe that I could be happy and live a good life. But the thing is that feeling of knowing I have to kill myself has always been there and it surfaces from time to time when I start to feel down. Lately I've been feeling really down. The girl I was seeing all of a sudden just stopped talking to me a few weeks ago, I've been a bit sick and I've unintentionally lost weight so now I'm feeling tired and weak all the time. So I'm feeling that feeling resurface right now and this time I don't think it will go away. It's not just that girl, it's not any girl really, it's me. I just cannot make it in this world. My spirit is truly broken and each day the sun shines a little less bright. One day soon it will not shine at all for me. But please don't give up. If you have a choice in the matter do not give up. My death warrant was signed two years ago, but if you can still make it I beg you to make it. Please make it.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          I am sorry to hear that anon, if you don't mind me asking what kind of accident were you in? As for me it wasn't any tragedy that made me like this, it's more like I've been this way since I was a kid, struggling to fit in, faking every single interaction, not really knowing who I really am. I've known since then that there is simply something wrong with me that I can't fix and that one day I have to kill myself, just a matter of when.So in the past 2 years I have decided that before I bite the dust, I have to try and do as many new things as I can, becoming fit being one of them, but also "bad" things like drugs, alcohol etc. And while they help in the short term, nothing really fills the void that keeps growing larger every day. At this point I have no friends, no gf, no job and not really any hope left, I will just keep living until I've had enough.

  44. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Exercise will literally cause your body to produce endorphins. Add to that the objective improvement once you get healthier and the results are massive.

  45. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I use exercise as self harm, I diet so I feel pain. I go harder then last time so the weight might drop on my head. I use cardio to throw up and make my heart pound. I want to kill myself because my macros aren't perfect for tomorrow. I have became so despondent with food that I only allow myself to eat what I buy/make, I will binge eat and feel nothing, but only if I made the meal or purchased it. I simply smell other peoples food now, as I am not allowed to have it because I did not make the decision on the food. I go on my 10k 4.5 mile walks so my legs feel numb when I sit down.

    I have switched my suicidal thoughts for the better, but no it did not get rid of them/

  46. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yes and no. At first yes, greatly, confidence shot up. Then I got upset I wasn't progressing and it resurfaced. Then I got giant biceps and now It's better again. Just don't expect your body to look like Jack Dempsey after 2 months of lifting and you'll be fine.

    I actually think cardio has been better for my mind than the lifting, but if you consistently get yourself wiped working out you should feel better, sleep better, look better.

  47. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    lifting + cycling.

    Nothing beats spending week nights at the gym then all weekend out in the sun on the road. Gives me no time to have mopey thoughts

  48. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yes.

  49. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Shrooms

  50. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Lifting for 10 years, and suicide just seems more attractive the more I think about it. Imagine, all the bullshit life has thrown at you goes quiet, depression, anxiety, regret, shame, low self esteem, bullying, being let down, all the internal chatter that never stops, POOF, KAPUT. Everything ends in an instant, any and all suffering is gone forever. And what if there is no afterlife? Who cares, your mind is gone, you wont even know that there is no afterlife. Just like a reversed big bang, it is all gone.
    Its like playing a videogame where something goes wrong at the tutorial island and you stubbornly keep struggling, while you could simply just hit the restart button and the handicap ends right there.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      And what if you get reincarnated into hell or just go to hell for eternity? Your suicide would also cause anguish among those that love you. More people love you than you think anon. You need to learn to love yourself.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >reincarnation
        >hell
        grow up

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Wise man I see. You must have all the answers?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        There cant be no hell or heaven. God made you, and something along the line didnt go right, so you end it all. Is he really going to judge you? Going to hell because you want the suffering to stop? It would be like getting mad at your car because it broke down after 200k km of no oil change. The car is just a victim of the citcumstances. Other than that, yes, anguish for my parents is really the only thing holding me back. But at the same time, you wont even acknowledge or see their anguish, since you are dead. Everything goes black and no single though will be formed. Also, they clearly see my fucked up state, yet they cower from really helping me out, or talking to me in a really deep way, since it makes them uncomfortable. You see how there are priorites even among those loved ones? Idk dude, there are more shitty hours and good ones in my life, why keep going? Other thing stopping me is my thirst for vengeance for those that did me wrong, that made my life a living hell. If I were to definetely kill myself I would first fuck up really bad all the cunts I had the misfortune of coming across. And I mean REALLY fuck them up

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Then why did the bastard put adam in that situation

  51. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    getting 100% of my micronutrients and daily 30min walks in sun unironically
    also drop caffeine completely for sleep quality

    i go straight back to being suicidal when i fast

  52. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yea. If I stop lifting they come back.

  53. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I'm so sorry that so many of you feel this way. It's shocking, truly. People throw a lot of suicide jokes around here but it's a wakeup call realizing that a lot of them are based on real feelings you're having. I came to this thread because I was morbidly curious. Personally I have the opposite feelings- I don't think there's a situation on earth that could make me take my own life except maybe constant excruciating pain. No matter how bad things get, no matter the shame or guilt of past decisions, no matter how much harm I may have done, no matter the consequences of my continued existence, I would simply walk away from everything and start anew somewhere else a million times before taking my life. This is a choose your own adventure and yes many people have a shitty start but you can always, always just walk away and build an entirely new life for yourself. Sorry if that sounds preachy, I just wanted to state some things I've learned from having done it before- it's a big world we're in and you deserve to be part of it, somewhere.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      thats nice that you would have the motivation to completely drop everything and start new

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah..not really. Once your brain is fucked up from bad experiences, its likely it will stay like that. Even if you leave everything behind, and "start new", your fucked up thoughts will keep chasing you relentlessly. New experiences will always be stained by the past. You have no idea how fucked up your mind can get from trauma. It gets to the point where you start losing the grasp of reality and who you are, who is that pestering voice that commands this weird flesh vehicle.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      You have good intentions anon but your views are a bit naive. It's hard to explain if you've never experienced it, but it's like a voice in the back of your head that tells you you are not good enough, you will never succeed, you are ugly, you don't fit in, nobody likes you, and you should just die, things like that. And maybe you only hear this voice once every few years, on a really bad day, but you ignore it, obviously. I know you've probably felt like this at least once in your life, right? Then the voice starts talking to you more frequently, now you hear it every month. And then you start hearing it on good days as well, and then you start hearing it when things are going good, when you are supposed to be happy you still hear this voice. And now you can't ignore it anymore. You begin hearing it daily, and then you push away all the good things in your life, until all you have are these dark thoughts destroying you. There is no starting over. That was it.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Life is really just a bad RNG joke. You are either lucky or you arent. Just a sick joke from a randomly generated universe and life. We really are no different than unlucky insects or critters. Worst part is, there is no punchline to the joke, there is no purpose, its just there.

  54. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    what helps me is getting consistent stimmy. in the absence of stimmy i begin to spiral.

    money stimmy, muscle gain stimmy, brain stimmy, work growth stimmy. i must always be growing.

  55. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, but not nearly as much as getting the proper medical treatment and I had to try a few until I was tested for ADHD and got the right meds for that.

    My intrusive suicidal thoughts started to dissipate and on days now they completely disappear.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >until I was tested for ADHD and got the right meds for that.
      >tfw hear about all these people who had undiagnosed adhd and wonder if that could be what led me to this humiliating life state at 30 years old
      what were your signs

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Pretty much exactly what you’d expect. Trouble focusing on even simple tasks. Very little ability to stay motivated long enough to finish a task. Rather stay in bed than do anything, basically depression.

        The shocker was the negative and intrusive thinking started to go away. All day long my brain would be basically filled with “what’s the point” kind of thinking. Which kind of made me feel worthless as well. There wasn’t a point, life was just something we existed in. I was tired mentally all the time. Physically I was fine.

        After a week or so I picked up on how the nature of my thinking had changed. I just stopped thinking those thoughts and instead I would just go and do what I needed to do. Sure I’d be tired in the morning, but so I’d get a cup of coffee to wake me up. Prior to that I’d spend half an hour in bed thinking about how daunting the day was going to be and how coffee wouldn’t do much to help or something along those lines.

        After a few months I stopped playing video games regularly. I still do, but far less. Prior it was a nightly thing, I’d game for hours at a time. Now I’ll have a few days here and there, but it sure isn’t a daily thing anymore.

        If it’s even in the realm of possibility I recommend getting tested. I know some people may have a different opinion, but I still have a full range of emotions, unlike Wellbutrin which I had tried. That just made me numb.

        Also, ADHD meds work without the need to build up. Meaning you could go the weekend without taking it to remove any tolerance you’ve been building up and then get back on during the week.

        At this point haven’t heard of any side effect from using it in that manner.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Which particular meds worked for you anon?

  56. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Lifting is pretty good. You feel better about yourself, and a lot of social things are easier. Better time usage, better blood flow to the brain, consistent endorphin release, something to tire out your body before bed, less joint pain, something to set goals with. It won't fix your depression, but it will ease some of the symptoms. Having a good lifting buddy will help just as much; picking up a drop in sport and being part of a community will help. Lifting is a good place to start, but you are a social animal; what you are missing is friendship, achievement, and respect.

  57. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I have mommy issues, only intimate connections with other people starve off the thoughts of worthlessness

  58. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >anons who suffered with suicidal thoughts, did lifting help?

    Yes, but pinning Test helped more.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >going to gym in goth outfit
      >clearly DYEL
      >pulldowns behind the neck
      woman moment

  59. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    It did, temporarily, but then my recent plateau has been a reminder that I'm shit at everything. I'm skinny fat and weak as piss. I'm just not cut out for this world. No friends. Ugly. Stagnant in my career despite honestly trying - I'm an autist and career advancement is really all about talking shit, not putting your head down.

    I'm not meant for this world. Sticking around means I agree with how things are - this world is for other people's enjoyment. I only observe, don't participate.

    I should really do more cardio and try a different routine, but instead I'm going to quit fooling myself and do what I should've done a decade ago.

    Don't be like me - I doubt you will. It's pretty hard to be this shit at EVERYTHING. I'm just here to make other people feel good by comparison. Have been selfless in that regard for way too long.

  60. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    feeling down? go to the gym for 6-8 hours, really fucking helps you

  61. 1 week ago
    Anonymous
  62. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    It helps, but doesn't make voices go away

  63. 1 week ago
    Anonymous
  64. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, I don't think about killing myself anymore

    However it didn't fix all my problems

  65. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Doing exercise only helps keep away the depression and suicidal thoughts while I am doing them. Once I am not doing them, it all comes back. Lifting weights, running, using my bicycle as my main transportation source, non-exercise like watching tv/internet and working, it's all the same, just distracting the thoughts.

  66. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yes.

  67. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    No. Nothing brings me joy. I am here to exist.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      nice

  68. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    My friend did and then focused himself by training intensely for triathlons. It definitely seems to help him

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