My gf is becoming anorexic bros... I don't know what to do.
She's becoming scarily thin and she barely eats. She doesn't listen to the doctor or dietitian.
I wanted to get her to start working out to show her she can gain weight without gaining a ton of fat but she's still in a massive deficit so not a good idea right now.
How do I make her realize she's destroying herself?
You have to eat with her. Small frequent portions of good food. Learn to make canapes and healthy shit women like to eat. Add cheese and heavy cream to her meals without her noticing. Cook her meals, control her calories. Don't discuss any of this with her. Take away from the chore of eating entirely.
much to my current frustration, she's vegan (who could've guessed?)
I know. I've tried to find out what's driving the eating disorder since it's fairly new and she used to love eating.
But she's not very honest with me when we talk about it so no progress there.
>she's vegan
unironically drop her
low iron lowers appetite
menstruation depletes iron > lower appetite > less food > weaker thyroid > lethargy and torpor > depression
more red meat
Mate just tell her youll leave her if she doesnt act normal
Absolutely don't add random shit to her meals.
I would kill whoever did that to me and I assume she would too.
Good luck though.
Usually there's an underlying problem to eating disorders so try and find out whatever that is and work on it, and then as she improves so too should the anorexia
>Dump her
>Either she starts binge eating, then you take her back (problematic girls lite that are too easy to manipulate) or she kills herself
>Problem solved either way
Btw I hate women so much it's unreal
>Dump her
She will just immediately text her guy friends and get her brains fricked out by everyone she knows
as if she hasn’t already done that before/during getting with this dude
So?
How is that op's problem?
This vegan/anorexia brain rot is pretty much a known pattern.
1 she continues to do that, fricks up her hormones and bones, ages rapidly, goes to shit
2 she starts binge eating or you force feed her, she balloons and is now depressed, fat and suicidal
I wish I had something positive to say op, I was talking to a girl who went through this roller coaster for a few months. It's a plight of reasonably smart internet addicted women. Eating enough heathy food and exercising is impossible for them because they use food/the lack there of to self harm
>How do I make her realize she's destroying herself?
you can't. as sad as it may be, look for a way out of this relationship. if it doesn't get better, she'll eventually drag you down with her.
don't confront her, if you do that she'll get defensive and accelerate her demise. she has to get out of that hole by herself. other than that:
100% true, also speaking from experience. either she becomes a disgusting skeleton (who also has ZERO energy whatsoever, so say goodbye to doing anything with her besides laying in bed watching netflix) or she becomes a disgusting pig who'll clock in at 300lbs soon enough.
Hips >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ass > breasts
Be happy that you have a gf who diets without outside pressure.
and this is bad why?
It hurts to have sex with bony girls
because actual anorexia is basically just killing yourself
you can frick up your hormones and system to the point of never being able to have children
"actual anorexia" basically doesn't exist. It's vanishingly rare. Most anorexia is just attention-seeking self harm or, more commonly, just extreme dieting
It's literally the most fatal mental illness dumbass
you're being an idiot
OP's grl isn't anorexic though, he's just having body dysmorphia from watching too much SS/GOMAD vids.
some people naturally don't have much appetite and they're just fine. i never ate much and i'm fine, my bloodwork is fine, my test is fine, my strength is fine. i'm like 9% bodyfat and my ribs show, but it's perfectly normal. 5% and below is where it gets dangerous.
this
is definitely anorexia idiot
>t. micropenis
Tummies are so erotic. It honestly makes no sense.
You're supposed to put baby in there, makes sense to me.
You do realize that if you hook her up to exercise she will just develop a different eating disorder? You homies got to buy an inflatable doll and frick it instead
Get her pregnant and tell her she has to start eating enough to properly grow your child. Or just tell her that you need her to be in top form for when you get her pregnant if you're a pussy.
Get me to frick her
Wait until she is 16bmi first.
Plaster images of holocaust victims everywhere in the apartment.
What do you mean "scarily thin"?
Because to an average american a "scarily thin" person is someone at an actually normal weight.
Show pics.
she is 45kg and 177cm
what a twink, post pics
wtf
I’ve known some crazy women. But anorexics are extremely difficult to get past their eating defence. Good luck, I would get out of there.
If you really care about her you'll be proactive in trying new things to find what she is receptive to. Make eating and exercise fun, get playful, cook healthy meals that she really enjoy, schedule personal nights where you cook for her and listen to music and dance around the kitchen. Look into some personal activities you guys can do together "Hey I found this great nature trail nearby, wanna check it out with me?" type thing.
If you're doing it because you want to "Better her" that's great, but that shit comes secondary to enjoying your relationship with her.
Just find fun ways to spend quality time with her and the rest will follow.
bro we already did all that shit
she isn't allowed to go hiking now, obviously.
And half of these things would just be 'triggering' for her anyway
Having a good relationships with somebody you're supposed to love is "Triggering"?
If you can't enjoy very basic human activities with your girlfriend without her neurotically rejecting them then what the hells the point of your relationship dude?
Put your own health before hers bro, for your own sake. What's it really worth?
You should go through a therapist to figure out how to not make her worse. Many of the things a person thinks will help end up reinforcing the bad habits, depending on what the root cause of her anorexia. For me, it was self loathing and feeling out of control. If you compliment self loathing, it reinforces the behavior. "They think I'm pretty when I'm like this", "can't they see I'm starving", "they think I deserve this". Removing the situation that made me feel out of control was helpful, but with someone else, that could make them feel even more out of control as if the one constant is now gone. All of this rambling to say: anorexia is pretty person specific and the best course of action will be bringing in a professional
>Not make her worse
>Go to therapy
Lmao the irony
>therapy BAAAAAD
Ok boomer lmao
It's not that the psychiatric method is "Bad", it's that if psychiatry was really concerned about helping people then they would teach people to employ their techniques on their own. Instead most psychiatric methods breed dependence onto the doctor, if not blatantly through the use of experimental and highly temperamental pharmacological substances, then indirectly through the ineffective methods they use to instill codependence into their patients; i.e. gaslighting, doubt, teaching strategies that are inherently anxiogenic, etc.
There are plenty of positive sides to psychiatry however, but you can learn all you need to learn about psychiatry without paying some social science quack 100$ a week to do it (Or falling into some insurance scam). I'm a zoomer, and I studied various psychiatric methods for years until I realized how cucked the industry is by the pharmaceutical industry, not to mention that despite all they claim about "Coming a long way since Freud" they still believe self-analysis is impossible simply because it doesn't pay their bills.
But heres a simple fact for you moron: If Therapy actually worked, then mental health rates wouldn't be on the rise, the use of pharma wouldn't be a booming industry, and their wouldn't be a 100 different ads for "BetterHelp" and therapy offices popping up in every strip mall across the world. Read a book.
>it's that if psychiatry was really concerned about helping people then they would teach people to employ their techniques on their own.
> then they would teach people to employ their techniques on their own.
literally what they do in therapy, in the literal meaning of the word 'literally'
I am trained in behavioral health, I'm well read on all the common approaches, as well as the older approaches that we're far more effective and didn't rely on pharmaceutical drugs (i.e. Jung, Lang, and many of the eccentrics).
Of course yes, it can work for some people depending on what you define as functionality, just as any other method might Not work for someone else, the issue that I and my peers have with the modern industry is that it IS an industry, meaning they are suppressing all other kinds research and techniques that would conflict with the generation of revenue, meaning the more the industry is allowed to spread (As it has been for decades) unchecked the less genuine treatment will people receive. There are great Therapists and Psychiatrists out there, but most of them are quacks who put the paycheck before the real experience.
Exhibit A: Doctors in regards to Transgender people allowing them to go on Hormone replacements as well as a plethora of other substances that are riddled with side effects, side effects which Mask the initial problem and replace it with new problems to be solved by further medication. No "Doctor" in their right fricking mind would ever prescribe drugs as dangerous as those we use today, and even if the patient does see improvement they will see that as a sign of the Drugs doing the improvement and not They themselves, meaning whenever they have another problem as life is want to give them they will go back to the doctor rather then develop their own personal skills. Psychiatry works in favor of quick remedy, and even if they teach you to handle that initial issue their techniques are horrible teaching that person to simply adapt to life and not act like a fricking pussy.
Once more, there are many fine people in the industry but they are relatively few, and of what they can teach you you can learn on your own by going out and buying a fricking book about this shit, way cheaper to.
>Cont
My initial post contained a book by Karen Horney, her career speaks to the suppression and tyranny of the medical industry (Psychiatry in particular.)
When she first started advocating topics of Self-Analysis she effectively committed professional suicide, she was ostracized by her peers to the point where she went to start her own school of thought, they black listed her and dismissed everything she said. What's funny is that the book itself is rather constructive and never tries to suggest Self-Analysis above therapy, but instead spoke that Therapy should try and teach people to do these things more autonomously free of having to pay a weekly therapist.
>Inb4 we've come a long way
We haven't, only everyone says that because that's what their psychology professor told them to say, the industry is still very much the same except now the industry is far more rampant and dogmatic seeing now that topics of Mental Health are coming to the forefront of the public eye.
Obviously do whatever works for you, but from my experience and the experience of everyone I know both in and around this field, the really therapy starts when people stop taking Drugs and start taking their life (And their weekly 100$) into their own hands, Afterall, that's what humans were doing long before and what Strong humans continue to do today.
Therapy is a predatory industry which preys upon the weak.
>But heres a simple fact for you moron: If Therapy actually worked, then mental health rates wouldn't be on the rise
here's a simple fact for you moron: therapy can work and mental health problems could still be on the rise societally because the world is a shitty place and things keeps getting worse
ReAd a frickin BoOk
>the world is a shitty place and things keeps getting worse
lmao, the world is a better place to live in than ever before. Most of the shitty bits can be easily avoided
She’s emotionally damaged, just abuse and control her. Call her fat and make her your death slave.
Have you tried a full on intervention?
Sit her down, tell her exactly what you're seeing and feeling, tell her you don't know what to do about it but you can't just sit and watch her starve, give her the "either you get support and help now or I'll look into inpatient care" with the implication of it not being voluntary
It might help to find an anorexic support group in your area for this, maybe go speak to someone there and ask for their thoughts.
This os the best answer but leave the thread of involuntary institutionalization until later if she doesn't get better
I've sat her down and told her in a million ways how serious this is
I've told her 'now' is the point of no return
I've told her she might not have kids in the future cause of this
I've sat her down and tried to find the underlying cause, but she just lies about her motivation to not eat
I've screamed at her about it
Nothing worked. I'm honestly insanely fed up with it as well. Like it just makes me fricking angry.
Yeah, go talk to professionals, be ready to have her committed to an inpatient facility, get her family on board
Or
Leave.
congrats on having a skinny girlfriend you fricking normie. KILL YOUR SELF AND NEVER COME BACK HERE
you can't do shit
ignore her
talk to other women
Tell her she have 2 weeks to stop being mentally ill or you'll dump her. Then dump her.
Load her up on nuts. Like peanuts and cashews. They are high in protein and non filling so she can get to a healthy weight without even realizing. You can always go the psycho route and ring a bell or chime everytime she eats for a few weeks then play the same bell or chime to make her hungry more often
my imouto has been sick for 4 years now and this winter has been a fight to not have her die. professional care is about all you can do, that and time. No well chosen word is gonna break thru the barrier they build for themselves. I gave up college to stay home and care for her and family and my days are feeding her, wait until she faints from screaming and then make sure she dosent kill herself afterwards.
honestly op 45 kg at her height is already immediate hospitalisation tier, get her help and move on, if you dont think your love is strong enough to last 5 years of more of this shit and personality changes
Hey OP, i'm just a guy but ill tell you what i can. Im not massive but i am big. Every girl i seriously dated was an anorexic, before i just observed because i couldn't comprehend how someone would not glutton themselves on all the moronic food options the western world has brought upon us. But people, especially girls are super susceptible to eating disorders. Looking back on all of my ex’s, its truely heartbreaking how frail and fricked up they're bodies became. So i do empathise with you. My last ex, i helped considerably. What one of the anons said in here is true, the anorexia is a byproduct of an underlying issue that probably is not obvious. Mental or biological, i have read some of the research on this and it suggests that this is one of the hardest disorders to treat.
What i would do, is allow my ex to have say and control over what she ate, doing so only to make sure she doesn't feel like anyone is worried about her or is forcing her to do anything. I would make decadent loaded sandwiches for lunch, make insane pizzas for dinner, make her try more esoteric foods like different herbs and things like seaweed. Seaweed especially due to its high iodine content which would make all the bruises on her body go away fairly quickly. And basically BEING a pig WITH her so that she doesn't feel like some research patient. A huge part of this is helping her develop an appetite. Suggesting that she skip the second coffee, if she vapes or smokes, hiding her vape or cigs 30 mins before and after a meal is being presented to her. (i know this shit is borderline psychotic but its the little things that make a big picture).
Helping her develop an appetite is so important, so get to know what her favourite foods and meals are and make sure you have those ingredients on surplus so that there is never a time where she is skipping a meal because its different from what she is used to. Make food fun for her, dont turn it into a logical debate or shameful issue for her.
CONT
Keep in mind, its super easy for a girl to gain many kilos this way, and almost as easy for them to shed it, quickly. So really there is an underlying issue that she needs to solve through probably therapy. But dont get your hopes up too high, cause these kinda of girls probably hide some kind of substance abuse from you, will binge speed or some shit and totally become a skeleton before you know it. Be careful, and be aware that when people starve themselves, psychosis is imminent. Make food fun, let her eat chocolates and junk SOME of the time, avoid shit like soft drinks but dont shame her. When she FEELS good and healthy, she will be more inclined to continue habits and routines that keep her in that good and healthy place. One day at a time little homie.
Unfortunately there is not a whole lot you can do. Be supportive, eat with her if she wants that, but honestly the best thing that can help her is gonna be a good therapist.
Alright buddy, first of all, most important bit:
You do NOT have the final say on her problems. By this I mean, it is not your problem, you are not in control and as such, you can help, you can make it worse, but you can't dictate what ultimately goes down.
The good news are that once you internalize that, you can help and keep a clear conscience no matter what. This is the 101 of helping someone with real problems and you NEED to internalize it if you want this to be healthy.
Second, it's a psychological issue. No matter what you tell her, her perception is fricked. It's important to note that she is not pretending, she is not "wrong" she really does see herself as fat. It's a concept hard to understand if you have never felt anything similar, imagine if you woke up tomorrow and everybody told you that you have no left hand. Imagine how hard would it be for you to believe them. Imagine how much it would frick with your perception if you finally caved in and started trying to believe you don't have a left hand. Shit is fricked up man.
Third, she needs therapy. A doctor can't help for the same reason a carpenter can't. If this is seemingly not an option, look for associations to help women or such, you might get some luck, not every sector of feminism is turbo moronic.
And also, you want someone to help YOU. This is usually not easy and you can't unload your frustrations on her, that will make her feel guilty and is not productive. You need someone you can (ideally that you both can) trust to support you emotionally somewhat.
Best of luck mate. You are a good man for wanting to help no matter what.