maybe try just a small dose? im doing a microdose protocol right now. idk if its actually helping but im certainly a lot more positive throughout the week and weirdly socially fluid when im on them
Personality disorders aren't treatable, things won't get better, your life will be a living hell. Also, as I'm sure you know, any advice you get from non-APD gays on here is worthless.
And yes I'm well used to people giving advice along the lines of nutrition, sleep, exercise so I was hoping maybe someone here overcame it through some other means
Cognitive Behavior Therapy - forcing yourself to go out and interact with other people - will help to a certain extent but it's not going to 'cure' you. I'm at the point now after many years where I can do a reasonably convincing impression of a normal person as long as I don't have to keep it up for too long. I never managed to find a way of avoiding the agonizing self-analysis that every social situation causes though.
>Did you have any associated strategy to accompany putting yourself out there?
I didn't do it as a deliberate strategy it's just that at various points in my life I had no choice but to be in situations I would have otherwise avoided, sometimes it just became overwhelming and everything turned to shit but mostly I was able to at least learn to get by. Like I said before though the endless painful self criticism never went away and unfortunately that's the thing we're fundamentally trying to avoid when we say Avoidant Personality Disorder.
checked. busy fixing my digestive system + probiotics and all that shit.
Personality disorders aren't treatable, things won't get better, your life will be a living hell. Also, as I'm sure you know, any advice you get from non-APD gays on here is worthless.
It'll take a lot of work but it's just a learned response refined over years. I'm GOOD at solving problems through avoidance through countless usage of it.
maybe try just a small dose? im doing a microdose protocol right now. idk if its actually helping but im certainly a lot more positive throughout the week and weirdly socially fluid when im on them
I've tried a couple times, it definitely helps unstick issues but nothing breakthrough worthy. If anything it opened my eyes to my issues but left me without the tools to solve them
>lonely >avoidant
lol frick you. Either go meet people and make connections or enjoy being avoidant and alone.
Not this shit where >ohhh I don't want to have human connection but I also want human connection
Don't misunderstand and think I'm tackling this problem from stage 1. I'm 28 years old I've tried exposure therapy and "putting myself out there" since high school ended to zero effect. I have social contacts and attend hobby groups through sheer forcing myself to not lose to it, but it hasn't led to any improvement of the core issues associated with AvPD
Cold showers in mornings
Diet
Drink water
Workout
Meditate
Read books
Get your personal economy under control
>Cold showers in mornings
Yep >Diet
Yep >Drink water
Yep >Workout
Yep >Meditate
Yep >Read books
What kind? >Get your personal economy under control
Yep
I just had three back to back encounters with women looking at me and I couldn't make eye contact. I barely glanced at their hands and feet while holding my stone cold demeanor. Is this what you're like too?
On that level it could be anything starting from social anxiety. AvPD shares a lot of similarities with social anxiety and it's common for both to exist but it runs a lot deeper than what most people consider social anxiety.
>Don't misunderstand and think I'm tackling this problem from stage 1
Don't misunderstand and think I'm a normie telling you shit.
I'm a Avpd myself, I'm so sick and tired of feeling unaccepted by anybody that I want to off myself, I don't even want to try any more to talk to another person because my "feeling" is that nobody will EVER like me for who I am, only if I put up some kind of front, or am useful to people. But me, just as is, honest, nobody will like me.
After cutting off some long time friends that were shit talking me, I decided my psyche will be better of alone than under this assult.
After years of being completely utterly alone, and feeling utter despair to the point of wanting to kill myself most of the day and actively having to fight off the urge to end myself, I had to accept that I'm either going to off myself or I'm going to ceede some ground and put myself out there again to get hurt.
I recently was socilizing with a lot more people trying to make new friends and maybe lol find a gf. I did try my best without being fake. And the result that I percieved was that nobody was interested and that I was even a bother or annoyance to some of the people.
My first emotional response is to go "well frick this, these people clearly don't want me around, maybe it's best if I move on and stop bothering them. They are probably cringing at this guy showing up and trying to be friendly"
Resist the urge to panic and do something unless they explicitly tell me to frick off. Not going to make actions based on my assumptions of their feelings.
Resist urge to jump under the bus.
Don't tell anybody anything is wrong to not bother them becuase nobody wants to deal with emotional problems of others and so on.
Try to keep it together to not fall apart. Try to gather enough enthusiasm and faith in myself to try again.
Desperately want to be accepted by at least one person. Really don't want to go through finding out nobody does.
I just had three back to back encounters with women looking at me and I couldn't make eye contact. I barely glanced at their hands and feet while holding my stone cold demeanor. Is this what you're like too?
30 year old schizoid here. It doesn't get better bro. Adapt your life around your personality and learn to be happy with what you have, don't think too much about the things you will never be able to have
That feels like one of the major options out of like 3 that lead to relative happiness with this condition. I don't think I'm ready to accept that yet I didn't try enough or with enough consistency and balls to the wall attitude.
Indeed the negative feed back loop and self fulfilling prophecy of acting like a weirdo nobody likes is quite something to overcome from nothing and requires unconditional love and acceptance as a starting condition - or the ability to suddenly acquire enough self esteem to ignore the opinions of others but that's nigh impossible for an AvPD without severe mental conviction of principles
Yes. Don't get caught up in the "disorder" part. The big giant nota bene here is that I applied this strategy to me being ADHD as frick, not me being APD as frick.
HOWEVER. I found that when I was more able to identify (be thorough, write down a list) what traits, quirks, and actions compile together to make you "odd", you can do some mental rearranging to turn some of that shit into "le ADHD is my superpower" except for you APD. good luck anon, hope this helped, I'm in my 30's still figuring out my own brain but I'm having a blast doing so at this point.
>Enjoy your morning coffee >Birds singing in the morning is the best music on a quiet day >Read a lot even tho its all the same trash after the 300 book and classics are the best >If she ask for a cigarette you always light it up for her >Starbucks is trash >Prada shades are where its at >If you want to enjoy wine at least understand the different ranking of Bourgogne and Burgundy >Chablis is overrated but that's personal opinion >Spending lot of money won't make you happy >Read the scriptures if you feel weak >Read the scriptures just because you didn't >Theres never enough >Its about what you have and not otherwise , show gratitude >Even for the bad things >Therapy cost a lot and worth for long term >Find a job where you have to talk to people if you feel that's you problem >Learn to say thank you and please and put down the toilet sit for a start >Not being addicted to something is lying to yourself >norms are trash but what are scenes for? >you don't know how a person truly fricked up in their head until you truly talk to them >don't follow fast trends >be kind and help people around you >learn to live with your disadvantages >we are alone in this thing together >im just lying were not >shitpost as hard as you can >you are not immune to propaganda so choose yours >there's is not rich look there are rich people >know your local history >streets are saying things >visit barcelona >take photos for memmories >learn to express your feelings >learn your triggers and what you feel what >don't judge a person if he made a decision when he were in his rage >small talk is always nice >don't jump into the fire there is no one to hose it down >tomorrow worries leave for tomorrow >if you doing drugs remember after up there's is a heavy down >don't do drugs >you not missing out even if you feel it >set your priorities straight >nothing to fear only the fear itself >don't ever ever trust nobody >specially me
No such thing, don't believe scooooience
I thought I had some "disorder" until I changed the direction of my life.
Science is a religion of matter, matter is just thought of very low vibration. Science is the lowest of the lowest and filthiest form of belief
Okay but I lived for 99.999% of my life not knowing that what I was experiencing had a name and that didn't change shit. Having a diagnosis gives resources and templates for "recovery" in a way that blindly going about all these problems cannot do.
Multiple people said the same thing ITT, and if it was true people wouldn't be able to have disorders until they find out what it's called
Giving it a name is cool but what do these templates tell you? I doubt it's what you really need. They're templates made to fit everybody not the individual. You won't get more insight from them than from self reflection while being calm. Find out your patterns and come to conclusions daily, it will take you about a year depending how spiraled out of social cohesion your mind is. No psychiatrist/template/name/psychologist helped me. I became an expert at being myself so I know what I'll feel and how I'll react and how to change it.
But I know I'm throwing words into the wind since no one will change their mind until they're ready to it so good luck OP
>Find out your patterns and come to conclusions daily, it will take you about a year depending how spiraled out of social cohesion your mind is.
Not him , but that's pretty much the point of therapy , at least in my point of view , I needed a second opinion from someone who actually studied this shit and takes my money to tell me this shit.
Not to discredit your efforts by saying this but therapists basically ask you questions and make you answer them. Yes it helps but that's just self reflection which is doable anywhere by yourself if your mind is calm.
Also therapists, psychiatrists ect are usually not mentally better than their patients on average from what I've seen
yes and no , the question part , is different when you answer to somebody else and not yourself , you can't compare.
self reflection , same point , second opinion from someone. >doctor state of mind
not related
Well part of my process of understanding myself is the mass uptake of information related to the subject - so reading your experience is indeed helpful and will help me arrive at my own conclusions unique to my case
Since I doubt any kind of cognitive therapy would work, is there any anti-anxiety drug or substance that can reduce social anxiety? Possibly obtainable without involving doctors or therapists.
If you are of middling height and semi-attractive the best thing you can do (imo) is to just start talking to random people at work/on the street/maybe even at the gym. Smile and ask how their day was or if they are having a good day. If they mirror your smile, you’re fine. Don’t be an autistic self-obsessed homosexual and listen to their answer then ASK THEM follow-up questions. Sometimes the convo will last 20 seconds, sometimes longer. It’s always kind of uncomfortable but that’s where the growth is for me. If a woman says something funny/ridiculous, immediately clown her for it.
t. Got asked to play on two volleyball teams this for a work thing coming up. Got asked to lunch by a black girl with big tiddies at work.
heroic dose of mushrooms. also i love you.
love you too breh. heroic might just induce schizophrenia I have a few ancestors who went wild
similarly train insane or remain the same. good words to live by.
maybe try just a small dose? im doing a microdose protocol right now. idk if its actually helping but im certainly a lot more positive throughout the week and weirdly socially fluid when im on them
go big or go home
Personality disorders aren't treatable, things won't get better, your life will be a living hell. Also, as I'm sure you know, any advice you get from non-APD gays on here is worthless.
And yes I'm well used to people giving advice along the lines of nutrition, sleep, exercise so I was hoping maybe someone here overcame it through some other means
Cognitive Behavior Therapy - forcing yourself to go out and interact with other people - will help to a certain extent but it's not going to 'cure' you. I'm at the point now after many years where I can do a reasonably convincing impression of a normal person as long as I don't have to keep it up for too long. I never managed to find a way of avoiding the agonizing self-analysis that every social situation causes though.
Did you have any associated strategy to accompany putting yourself out there? Did you mask or go full authentic mode - sounds like the former
>Did you have any associated strategy to accompany putting yourself out there?
I didn't do it as a deliberate strategy it's just that at various points in my life I had no choice but to be in situations I would have otherwise avoided, sometimes it just became overwhelming and everything turned to shit but mostly I was able to at least learn to get by. Like I said before though the endless painful self criticism never went away and unfortunately that's the thing we're fundamentally trying to avoid when we say Avoidant Personality Disorder.
Love this picture, and the op pic made me think of this too.
You are objectively wrong
nonironically make sure your testosterone levels are good and so is your sleep. makes a YUGE diffference with avpd
checked. busy fixing my digestive system + probiotics and all that shit.
It'll take a lot of work but it's just a learned response refined over years. I'm GOOD at solving problems through avoidance through countless usage of it.
I've tried a couple times, it definitely helps unstick issues but nothing breakthrough worthy. If anything it opened my eyes to my issues but left me without the tools to solve them
Double down and schizoidmaxx.
bases toromi poster
>lonely
>avoidant
lol frick you. Either go meet people and make connections or enjoy being avoidant and alone.
Not this shit where
>ohhh I don't want to have human connection but I also want human connection
Don't misunderstand and think I'm tackling this problem from stage 1. I'm 28 years old I've tried exposure therapy and "putting myself out there" since high school ended to zero effect. I have social contacts and attend hobby groups through sheer forcing myself to not lose to it, but it hasn't led to any improvement of the core issues associated with AvPD
>Cold showers in mornings
Yep
>Diet
Yep
>Drink water
Yep
>Workout
Yep
>Meditate
Yep
>Read books
What kind?
>Get your personal economy under control
Yep
On that level it could be anything starting from social anxiety. AvPD shares a lot of similarities with social anxiety and it's common for both to exist but it runs a lot deeper than what most people consider social anxiety.
>Don't misunderstand and think I'm tackling this problem from stage 1
Don't misunderstand and think I'm a normie telling you shit.
I'm a Avpd myself, I'm so sick and tired of feeling unaccepted by anybody that I want to off myself, I don't even want to try any more to talk to another person because my "feeling" is that nobody will EVER like me for who I am, only if I put up some kind of front, or am useful to people. But me, just as is, honest, nobody will like me.
After cutting off some long time friends that were shit talking me, I decided my psyche will be better of alone than under this assult.
After years of being completely utterly alone, and feeling utter despair to the point of wanting to kill myself most of the day and actively having to fight off the urge to end myself, I had to accept that I'm either going to off myself or I'm going to ceede some ground and put myself out there again to get hurt.
I recently was socilizing with a lot more people trying to make new friends and maybe lol find a gf. I did try my best without being fake. And the result that I percieved was that nobody was interested and that I was even a bother or annoyance to some of the people.
My first emotional response is to go "well frick this, these people clearly don't want me around, maybe it's best if I move on and stop bothering them. They are probably cringing at this guy showing up and trying to be friendly"
Resist the urge to panic and do something unless they explicitly tell me to frick off. Not going to make actions based on my assumptions of their feelings.
Resist urge to jump under the bus.
Don't tell anybody anything is wrong to not bother them becuase nobody wants to deal with emotional problems of others and so on.
Try to keep it together to not fall apart. Try to gather enough enthusiasm and faith in myself to try again.
Desperately want to be accepted by at least one person. Really don't want to go through finding out nobody does.
>I'm a Avpd myself
Really? you sound more schizo than Avpd
based on what?
based on your schizo-post
is this the part where you shitpost at me with 10 word replies like a bot?
?
answer the question like a human being.
Cold showers in mornings
Diet
Drink water
Workout
Meditate
Read books
Get your personal economy under control
I just had three back to back encounters with women looking at me and I couldn't make eye contact. I barely glanced at their hands and feet while holding my stone cold demeanor. Is this what you're like too?
30 year old schizoid here. It doesn't get better bro. Adapt your life around your personality and learn to be happy with what you have, don't think too much about the things you will never be able to have
That feels like one of the major options out of like 3 that lead to relative happiness with this condition. I don't think I'm ready to accept that yet I didn't try enough or with enough consistency and balls to the wall attitude.
Indeed the negative feed back loop and self fulfilling prophecy of acting like a weirdo nobody likes is quite something to overcome from nothing and requires unconditional love and acceptance as a starting condition - or the ability to suddenly acquire enough self esteem to ignore the opinions of others but that's nigh impossible for an AvPD without severe mental conviction of principles
i can’t help you but any words for a 23yo in a similar situation?
Yes. Don't get caught up in the "disorder" part. The big giant nota bene here is that I applied this strategy to me being ADHD as frick, not me being APD as frick.
HOWEVER. I found that when I was more able to identify (be thorough, write down a list) what traits, quirks, and actions compile together to make you "odd", you can do some mental rearranging to turn some of that shit into "le ADHD is my superpower" except for you APD. good luck anon, hope this helped, I'm in my 30's still figuring out my own brain but I'm having a blast doing so at this point.
Stop identifying as someone with a disorder
>Enjoy your morning coffee
>Birds singing in the morning is the best music on a quiet day
>Read a lot even tho its all the same trash after the 300 book and classics are the best
>If she ask for a cigarette you always light it up for her
>Starbucks is trash
>Prada shades are where its at
>If you want to enjoy wine at least understand the different ranking of Bourgogne and Burgundy
>Chablis is overrated but that's personal opinion
>Spending lot of money won't make you happy
>Read the scriptures if you feel weak
>Read the scriptures just because you didn't
>Theres never enough
>Its about what you have and not otherwise , show gratitude
>Even for the bad things
>Therapy cost a lot and worth for long term
>Find a job where you have to talk to people if you feel that's you problem
>Learn to say thank you and please and put down the toilet sit for a start
>Not being addicted to something is lying to yourself
>norms are trash but what are scenes for?
>you don't know how a person truly fricked up in their head until you truly talk to them
>don't follow fast trends
>be kind and help people around you
>learn to live with your disadvantages
>we are alone in this thing together
>im just lying were not
>shitpost as hard as you can
>you are not immune to propaganda so choose yours
>there's is not rich look there are rich people
>know your local history
>streets are saying things
>visit barcelona
>take photos for memmories
>learn to express your feelings
>learn your triggers and what you feel what
>don't judge a person if he made a decision when he were in his rage
>small talk is always nice
>don't jump into the fire there is no one to hose it down
>tomorrow worries leave for tomorrow
>if you doing drugs remember after up there's is a heavy down
>don't do drugs
>you not missing out even if you feel it
>set your priorities straight
>nothing to fear only the fear itself
>don't ever ever trust nobody
>specially me
mental ISTness
No such thing, don't believe scooooience
I thought I had some "disorder" until I changed the direction of my life.
Science is a religion of matter, matter is just thought of very low vibration. Science is the lowest of the lowest and filthiest form of belief
Okay but I lived for 99.999% of my life not knowing that what I was experiencing had a name and that didn't change shit. Having a diagnosis gives resources and templates for "recovery" in a way that blindly going about all these problems cannot do.
Multiple people said the same thing ITT, and if it was true people wouldn't be able to have disorders until they find out what it's called
Giving it a name is cool but what do these templates tell you? I doubt it's what you really need. They're templates made to fit everybody not the individual. You won't get more insight from them than from self reflection while being calm. Find out your patterns and come to conclusions daily, it will take you about a year depending how spiraled out of social cohesion your mind is. No psychiatrist/template/name/psychologist helped me. I became an expert at being myself so I know what I'll feel and how I'll react and how to change it.
But I know I'm throwing words into the wind since no one will change their mind until they're ready to it so good luck OP
>Find out your patterns and come to conclusions daily, it will take you about a year depending how spiraled out of social cohesion your mind is.
Not him , but that's pretty much the point of therapy , at least in my point of view , I needed a second opinion from someone who actually studied this shit and takes my money to tell me this shit.
Not to discredit your efforts by saying this but therapists basically ask you questions and make you answer them. Yes it helps but that's just self reflection which is doable anywhere by yourself if your mind is calm.
Also therapists, psychiatrists ect are usually not mentally better than their patients on average from what I've seen
yes and no , the question part , is different when you answer to somebody else and not yourself , you can't compare.
self reflection , same point , second opinion from someone.
>doctor state of mind
not related
Well part of my process of understanding myself is the mass uptake of information related to the subject - so reading your experience is indeed helpful and will help me arrive at my own conclusions unique to my case
Since I doubt any kind of cognitive therapy would work, is there any anti-anxiety drug or substance that can reduce social anxiety? Possibly obtainable without involving doctors or therapists.
Yeah, it's called alcohol
I haven't had a drop of alcohol in 5 months, guess I should get back on it only at social occasions.
Everyone on earth is experiencing an emotion right now
If you are of middling height and semi-attractive the best thing you can do (imo) is to just start talking to random people at work/on the street/maybe even at the gym. Smile and ask how their day was or if they are having a good day. If they mirror your smile, you’re fine. Don’t be an autistic self-obsessed homosexual and listen to their answer then ASK THEM follow-up questions. Sometimes the convo will last 20 seconds, sometimes longer. It’s always kind of uncomfortable but that’s where the growth is for me. If a woman says something funny/ridiculous, immediately clown her for it.
t. Got asked to play on two volleyball teams this for a work thing coming up. Got asked to lunch by a black girl with big tiddies at work.
They use "clusters" now so anyone saying "I'm so avoidant bro" is attention whoring e-diagnosis shit.
go to an Orthodox church
It might seem hard but i believe in you.
And yeah definitely get your sleep and exercise in order. Helps me with sub-clinical feeling like shit and avoidance.