Are you afraid you are getting OLDER?
I'm afraid my natty gains that took me so long to build will fade away with time
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 CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
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Are you afraid of time?
Are you afraid you are getting OLDER?
I'm afraid my natty gains that took me so long to build will fade away with time
|
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
|
>Still being afraid of aging when longevity research is making strides while AGI is also on the horizon
couldn't be me
better come quicker im decaying
Coal
If you think (affordable) immortality is <50 years away you got another thing coming. And who wants to live forever in the body of a 70-80 year old? Nah senpai we missed the boat
dont worry resurrection will be a thing eventually
I'm fricking terrified of time and getting older because I haven't accomplished anything with my life
>Never had a gf
>Don't have too many friends
>Dropped out of college
>Have been unemployed for two years
>My gains are mediocre as frick, I know teenagers with better bodies than mine despite working out constantly
People who have a relatively successful life don't fear the pass of time but I fricking do because I don't want to be +30 and still be this miserable, id rather kill myself
couldn’t be me
I'm all that and as a plus I never got my drivers license. I'm 26 years old, I got less than 4 years to get my life together or I'm eating a bullet
Getting fit is just a part of the whole process
>drivers license
Don't have mine either yet. But how hard can it be right? At first it's gonna take active concentration but over time it'll be like riding a bike, just more causiously.
Why do people feel like 30 is the age of no return?
>Why do people feel like 30 is the age of no return?
It IS the age of no return
If you are 30 and are still a loser chances are you are going to stay a loser forever.
It is the definitive end of youth
Like
said
>It's weird if I frick 20 year olds now
>Drinking isn't any fun because hangovers, gerd and too hard to stay skinny when older and drinking
>All of my friends are dead or married (basically dead)
Those were the only fun things in life and now outside of that I've done/experienced/been everywhere and have little curiosity or desire left for things I feel like are worth working for
Everything is fun the first time but after you have done everything it's just going through the motions tbh.
>It's weird if I frick 20 year olds now
who caaaaaaaaares
Usually the 20 year olds do.. I mean I totally would I don't give a frick but back when I was 20 I could frick prime pussy for like a little bit of weed or a bottle of vodka or something.
Youngest chick I've fricked in years was 23 and bipolar/daddy issues. Sex was great but it was just some weird kink for her.
my point is, if you can attract them then why the frick not?
The amount of work to pull prime pussy in your mid 30s is exponentially higher than when you are younger. The girls remaining in the dating pool gets worse and worse and worse the older you get because all the good ones get married
>Why didn't you get married
I tried. I wasted 6 years with someone and it didn't work out and now I get to dumpster dive scraps that expect 50x the effort of the hottest chicks I've been with
Im a virgin at 25, should I just kill myself now and get it over and done with?
If you haven't don't cool shit you have a lot to live for. I spent years traveling, whoring, doing extreme sports, trying pretty much every drug etc... but I dunno I feel like I've done more in my 34 years than most npcs do in multiple lifetimes and it's just kinda boring as frick and pointless now
You will care less when you get older.
t: NOGF who only got laid being dead drunk and moving on desperate girls like a pig, and escorts
Nonsesne about 20yolds
Your fault for ruining your liver at a young age. I am 35 and easily drink a TON of booze and still wake up fresh. My secret - didnt drink a drop till about 22 yo. And i also drink a lot of water before sleep if im drunk.
Also dont binge often. I dont drink beers or other shit daily i just get wated like once a month and it still makes me happy.
Also dont smoke, frick that.
Had 21yo gf
Ya friends are aging like crazy, but you just have to accept it, and keep living a healthier, better life.
>I can drink a ton and feel fine
>the trick is that I never drink
I didn't drink until 21 and at 31 alcohol kills me. Hangovers are so much worse now. You may be the unicorn with the rebound of a god, but it probably ain't related to not drinking until 22.
>>It's weird if I frick 20 year olds now
Just be like Leo DiCaprio
it's the end of youth and if you didn't reach certain life goals at that time you will NEVER have them.
that's why guys in their 60s go off and frick bawds in Laos and Cambodia to try and fulfill the hole in their soul from never getting something they wanted but couldn't get
I fricked plenty of prime pussy of all different races but going back to SEA (again) seems like a great way to spend time and money before I die. Blasting loads unprotected into 18 year olds while all the dudes that "made it" are picking up overtime shifts so their fat wife can put new countertops in the kitchen or whatever
COPE
Just because your life went to Shit after 30's doesn't mean the rest of us will
Fricking smoothbrain. No one said life is over after 30, your YOUTH is over. Definitively.
You can delay and elongate the aging process all you want. By all means enjoy, live well and be a healthy muscle-bound 40 year old. But it doesn't stop you being a middle aged man.
You're free to enjoy all the pussy you can get, be it teen or of a woman your own age, but the days are long gone when you can date a woman your own age and enjoy the spark of YOUTH shared between you. Those days are gone no matter how hard you hustle and how much money you make.
Your life isn't over, your YOUTH is. The gradual aging process has started and you can delay it all you want but each day you're less capable than the one before it.
Sorry for that, but I still can't cope
I feel like the life I know will come to an end soon
I mean I will probably miss fricking 21 year olds but at a certain point you can't keep doing that shit forever. Most people couldn't in the past, except for royalty I guess. It's just part of life.
It's kind of more cringe to hold on to something that wasn't meant to last.
>wah boo hoo there's a holey in my souley because i couldn't get laid when I was 18 wah boo hoo
fricking hell this is what I mean. Pathetic behavior.
Get zoomer hair and go back to college
>have been employed and in college for the past 4 years
>I've still never had a gf and barely have any friends
at least you have an excuse
There’s literal zoomer finance bros who have girlfriends, work, and lift while still looking like insane. This guy ain’t got a big excuse
damn bro that sucks but I'm sure posting on IST will help
>have been employed for the last 3 years
>in college for the last 2, graduate next year
>have a gf
>friends
>good gains, big by normie standards
So why do I feel so empty and depressed
lack of higher purpose
You caught me, I was kind of larping in my post. Truth is I've been an autist from the start and everything I have now feels fragile, on the edge of being taken away because none of it is my true desire, it's my social mask. I don't care about my job, I don't care about my studies, I don't even like my girlfriend that much.
All I want is to devote my life to restoring my country to its greatest religious, political and military glory, and I feel like I'm wasting my time even though I've achieved relative success in normie standards. I'm not chasing my true higher purpose, to be a vicar of Christ on Earth, and it's bugging me.
dont hurt her, its not her fault
otherwise burn this earth for all I care
Checked dubsguy, no I won't hurt her any more than I already inadvertently have, I'm not some sadistic psycho I'm just an abstract kind of autist that wasn't made for this world
start a cult
I don't need to, I just need a fanatically devoted base of high achieving turbo autists to work their way up the ranks of my country's political, financial and social institutions so we can coordinate a total collapse of the current regime and take our nation back for Jesus Christ. Not a cult, more of a club, if you will.
This is what I'm meant to do with my life, to lead a reactionary charge against modernity, not be a fricking goody two shoes working some boring casual job, studying lame shit amongst dimwits and hanging out with women
you should drink blood
why not start with your girlfriend
Wasting her time is honestly the wrong thing to do if you know you don't like her. It's just gonna get shittier the longer you wait to dump her or absolutely nightmare pilled if you get married knowing you don't like her
I've never really liked a woman before, never been in love or had a crush. I've always found women boring and uninteresting, and since it's been that way my whole life I don't think it's gonna change, so I might as well stay with the highest quality mate I can get. My gf is objectively attractive, she's fit and lifts/runs all the time, traditional and I'm her second, strong father, etc. Not gonna find another one like that easily so I'll stay, no sense in letting it go even though I'm mostly indifferent to her.
I do find the modern attitude of "I married my best friend" super cringe. Your wife is not meant to be your buddy or your mate, it's your wife. She has duties related to that, and being your pal and hanging out, shootin' the shit is not one of them. That's just my opinion though, what the frick do I know. It's not like I'm intentionally cold towards her or treat her badly on purpose
drink her blood
You are going to wake up one day wanting to blow your fricking brains out or she is going to eventually wake up and cuck you because you sound like a massive gay tbh
>Afraid to be alone
>Settle for whatever
Many such cases. Never ends up being a good story lmao
I’m a lot like you minus the gay religion stuff. I’ve been in plenty of relationships but I’ve never loved any of them and past the honeymoon phase I’ve barely even liked them. Still stay in multi-year relationships with them I dunno, for comfort? For routine?
It's nice to have emotional intimacy and as gay as it sounds, we need to be touched. Being touch-starved genuinely impairs your mental state, unless you are a super-giga turbo sperg who is completely schizoid. Kind of wish I was that, but I'm not.
I'm really not afraid to be alone. Before meeting her I was completely content being celibate and had internally accepted the fact that I'd be alone for a while. The reason I engaged with her isn't because I'm "settling for whatever", it's because I'm a pussy and I'm way too soft-hearted to reject a girl when she approaches me. I've never approached a woman in my life, all my past relationships have been women approaching me and me letting them in, but they've all been like this, an indifferent, somewhat amical relationship with a woman who is really into me. Helps that I'm handsome, if I weren't, I'd definitely be a forever alone robot. I don't think I'll blow my brains out or get cucked, I think either she'll accept the state of relationship I can provide or she can't and she'll move on, leaving to repeat the endless cycle until I find a woman who will accept it.
I do the endless cycle. My autism levels are pretty high as well but I can absolutely fake the normie dialogue to get my dick wet. It's not gay to say fricking is a psychological need if you don't wanna turn into a schizo or mass shooter. I dated an Indian girl that called it being skin hungry. Personally I just never take it passed relatively casual sex nowadays. I'm 100% straight up about not wanting kids or marriage or meeting your parents.
Physiological*
I swear googles auto correct is getting fricking worse with time
>boo hoo I don't have enough dopamine in my brain and only Wikipedia binges give me a kick
there are pills for this you spastic
Brain chemicals out of balance and lack of higher purpose
I have everything on your list and still am miserae 30+. 35 actually.
Me
i’ve been getting this a lot lately. i’m 24 now and still feel like i’m 19 max. occasionally it will hit me im no longer a teenager and that before i know it everything will be going downhill. balding coming in and my face is getting older too, shit sucks
Natty gains are for life bro. I recently started lifting again after 4 years of abstaining due to an injury. I gained back about 35~40% of my former strength in a month.
Natty gains are for life bro. I recently started lifting again after 4 years of abstaining due to an injury. I gained back about 35~40% of my former strength in a year.
kind of, I am turning 30 in a few months
I mostly still look young but the skin on my cheeks is starting to lose elasticity, I will end up with jowls someday
I started moisturising a few months ago and I drink a lot of water, take multivitamin, etc. I also wear sun cream whenever I go outside
As well as facial ageing I fear losing my gains. tbh I'll probably start pinning in 5 years or so, just gentle TRT doses so I can still make gains or at least keep what I have
Thanks for reading my blog
My world is fricking ending, I want to go back. I want to wake up from a fricking coma and be 16 years old again.
Turned 31 today bros. I hate being in my 30's, I hate my body aching, hair greying, feeling like so many good years are behind.
I feel you anon
i am not
its the time that shall be afraid of me
i will tear it apart
>verification not required
Honestly, i'm only afraid of losing those who i hold dear. I don't care much what time does to me.
can't be afraid of the inevitable. I'll die one day, like every man before me. And over time, I'll be forgotten, like every man will eventually become.
Doesn't matter. I won't be around for the disappointment. So for now, I'm gonna do my best and enjoy my fricking life.
>And over time, I'll be forgotten, like every man will eventually become.
Caesar, Hitler, Gengis Khan
yes they too will be forgotten
>I met a traveller from an antique land
>Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
>Stand in the desart Near them, on the sand,
>Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
>And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
>Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
>Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
>The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
>And on the pedestal these words appear:
>"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
>Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
>Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
>Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
>The lone and level sands stretch far away.
I’m terrified of it.
I’ll be 30 soon. And yet, I could have sworn I was just 5 years old. I have such vivid memories and it doesn’t feel that far away. When I was 5 I used to think “I wonder who I’ll be when I’m 30” and it seemed so far away, so old. But now at this age, looking backwards doesn’t seem that long ago. And it fricking terrifies me.
I can’t stop aging. It just happens. And I’m disappointed. This is what I was put on this earth for? To get some job I don’t want so I can be a tax cattle for already rich people, and maybe if there’s a war I get drafted to die as fodder so their sons can stay at home fricking hookers and doing crack cocaine while speeding down the highway, worst case they get detained for 30 minutes and then walk away no problem? This sucks. This is bullshit. And best case, I continue working as a slave tax cattle in hopes that houses worth a quarter mill return to their original price and don’t stay at their current inflated price of $1mil so that I can maybe own a house and MAYBE, just maybe settle with some b***h who’s already fricked 15 dudes to have kids with, grow old and watch them do the same? This isn’t fair. Time is so limited… and I can’t even make the most of it doing what I want?
But anyways, yeah it’s terrifying.
I went through a law school and life school and the correct way to approach life is to scam the rich. Never the poor.
The rich are smart, so you have to be smarter.
Most people here need to take their meds myself included
>meds
why don't you stop with this disgusting goyslop propaganda, homosexual
kys
In my late 20s I had fomo or whatever the zoomers call it nowadays. Now I just don't really care if I die or not.
I'm 36, soon to be 37.
At 30+, especially after 35 I clearly feel the aging process. Need my 8+h of sleep, can't binge drink, dick doesn't get as hard etc.
I'm horrified looking at my elderly mum, don't even want to imagine her become frail and dying.
I'm nowhere near set in my life despite having a good job. I used to dream about retiring early, but that "early" can be 55 at the very least, and this time I would need to absolutely bust my ass.
If you have a place to sleep at night you can literally retire whenever the frick you want. I don't get why normies are obsessed with stacking shekels for when they are old and crusty and just have to give them all to a doctor. If I get cancer or whatever I'll do a sick flip off a bridge and live stream it on IST
>dick doesn't get as hard
WHAT
He is probably fat, stressed or depressed. Also why a lot of worker drones lose their hair in their 30s. My dick works fine but I'm a borderline societal dropout that doesn't give a frick about anything
Yeah buddy, stiffy will greet you less and less frequently in the morning.
I'm skinny and don't have high blood pressure, just aging...
And Norwood reaper knocked on the door. I jumped on Fin in panic
Do you exercise?
yes, brosplit 2/week and jogging or swimming albeit only maybe every 10 days
those are rookie numbers mr softsausage
bump those numbers up
He said he is skinny. I doubt it's fitness related. Probably stress. Maybe he hates his job. Most people hate their jobs
>Probably stress. Maybe he hates his job
bingo
I have no debt and quit my job in October. Have enough cash to frick off for a while. Still not happy outside of dopamine hits from cooming, drinking or smoking. My dick works fine and it's better than being a slave but it's more of a neutral gray feel all the time. French gays call it ennui. I don't think there is an English word that portrays it as accurately.
There is. I’d suggest the book of Ecclesiastes for a better idea why you feel that way.
I wish I could "dude just believe" it would make me happier for sure. I understand "everything under the sun is futile" but living in fear of God doesn't seem based at all. I try to be a good person and have my own view of morality that is closer to the Golden rule. Keep it pretty simple.
Taking pride in building something and toiling with your own hands is part of why I'm a gym gay to begin with. My family is shit/non-existent and I won't ever be building one of my own so it just makes the time under the sun more meaningless. I can't accept God on faith alone but I do not deny his existence or pretend to know what will happen when I die.
Well, I’ll share my perspective, and if it makes sense to you, great. I don’t think it’s “faith alone” as most people define it, as though you can’t have any proof, just believe because I say so. However, what I present as proof isn’t accepted by many. But there are so many prophecies that have come true throughout history, guideposts, if you will, showing that God’s word is true. Study prophecy alongside a history book. Now, look through end times prophecy, and see how many are coming true and have come true today. God said if any prophet speak a false prophecy, then he is no prophet and was to be executed. The extremity of this statement was to deter false prophets. This means not one prophecy could be wrong, or even partially right. It had to be completely correct. There was no way those prophets could have guessed what was coming in these days. From manmade horrors beyond comprehension, to the general attitude of people believing themselves to be more intelligent simply because they don’t believe in God. Having what was called a “form of godliness without acknowledging the Creator.” Think about all the “manifestation from the universe” stuff, or how vile acts are considered admirable and worthy of praise, even to the point of worship. “Lovers of themselves rather than lovers of God.” I obviously don’t even need to bother to point out how that’s rampant. Again, this is a small snippet, just some of the many proofs the word is true. There’s so much. But nothing compares to the greatest prophecies, fulfilled by Christ Jesus, every single one. Ecclesiastes shows Solomon’s pain without God, though he had every earthly thing. But Paul points out we live in a much better time, with Jesus as our savior now rather than having to wait. If nothing else, read the gospel of John to start. Be informed before writing it off. I hope you find your faith brother. Amen.
>dick not as hard
>I jumped on fin
Hmmm. If only there was some way to know why (you) get less hard.
It is so weird and so much based in genes.
I at 36 am more active than ever and i think i have massive T and HGH surge thanks to better daily routine. All i can think of is sex i masfurbate or frick like 6 times a day and work out 4x/week.
The best thing i did was got rid of shit in my life that was drsgging me down. Like endless parties with friends. Frick it, few true friends remined, and i just stopped wasting my time and it nwver has been better.
Like now i meet friends once a year and always have stepped up my life so itnis actually cool to be The Guy everyone eyes, instead of just another dude among everyone else.
If i mqnage to start my dream business next year i am buying a 70s Mustang and i bet it will inspire some friends to step up.
Be the inspiration.
Nope. Early 50s, currently the best I've looked since early 20s. I train with and race guys up to 20 years older (and lose to them occasionally), running, jumping, throwing examples of what can be done as you age. Need to put the effort in, though.
Worried about how long I have? If I take after my dad, checking out soon (and why I got fit again). The women tend to live into their 90s (one 101) so who knows.
No, not really. I made it in the end. Met my now wife at 29. Had my first kid at 33 and my second at 35. Started lifting at 34. Have an engineering degree and a decent job. "Own" a house since a few years back.
Having kids is the trick though. It shifts your perspective on life from yourself to them. Some may find the idea of living through your kids as sad (and it can be if you go overboard) but it's essentially how you live forever. Play your cards right and a part of you lives on through them.
That being said I don't look forward to potential alzheimer and the like.
>I was born in '67 the year of Sgt Pepper's and Are You Experienced
>into a suburban heaven, yeah it should've been forever, it all seemed to make so much sense
>but after a while you realize time flies
>and the best thing that you can do is take whatever comes to you
>because time flies
Cheers, Steve, it does indeed.
I just want to live long enough that I get to partake in real human longevity. We’re only decades away from doubling human lifespans (I’m talking living to 130 in a body of a todays 50 year old) and dying at 150 or so.
Chances are if we get there in time I can “halt” my age at 50 maybe even reverse it to that of a 40 year old and by the time I’m close to death we’ve improved it enough to make me live a total lifespan of maybe 250 years which I think is a perfectly reasonable amount of time to experience why you want in life and get to explore the universe a bit
I mean the part that really bums/scare me is missing out on manned missions around our solar system. Knowing humanity is going to spread among the galaxy. If I got to choose my death it would be staring at saturn from one of its moons
Holy shit bros.
You are dreaking mw out.
I am 35 and still work out and have positive outlook for life and just recently staryed a startup.
Dont take the oldpill. Hang around young or at least driven people.
If you are aching, god, redo your routines.
I cant be like a single human being blessed with some genes to still feel relatively young at my age?
And you know what i do when i feel shitty mentally? I make a list of priorities, pick top 3, forget the rest (yea its sacrifice time) and follow the main one of those 3, two others being accessory
>mid 20s
>been working at a warehouse for 5 years
>still live with parents
>never had a gf
It’s so over
You are getting older every day, one day closer to death. Times running out.
I'm already older. It creeps up on you. Be warned.
Yes. I turn 26 next month.
>turned 32 less than a week ago
>useless college degree, no career, pathetic job where i've wasted and ruined my life but too afraid to leave
>live with parents and have zero desire for any sort of property ownership
>kissless virgin with no friends, barely any social life, hobbies, or activities, so ashamed and humiliated of my life that i barely even speak to people anymore, but the social isolation is what made me give up on life
>dont care at all whatsoever about anything, dont have a single goal i am striving for in life except to get the courage to commit suicide
i dont even have any memories of when i was a teenager or kid, and it doesnt matter, because i was miserable then too. i literally cannot remmeber a single time in my entire life where i was happy. my entire life has just blended into one fog of nothing. ive lived one of the most pathetic, humiliating lives that is humanly possible for a person in the west to live. due to my lack of life experience it blows my mind to think of myself as being 32 years old. i feel like im 13-14.
my biggest regret in life was not being stillborn or aborted.
hello CPTSD-freeze bro. It isn't your fault man. Unless you're a 1%er your parents and childhood are responsible for all that comes after. They failed in turning you into a unique and capable individual
Because blaming your parents will definitely make your life any better
I've been brutally afraid of aging since age 20, it's a bit more gradual for me, at least i won't be slammed with the realisation at age 30 like with the hylics shitting down their 20s and thinking bullshit like "26 is young"
lots of people get their shit together after 30, a lot of people change careers and get better jobs around that point. lots of actors didnt make it until way after that. whats important is that BEFORE that point who have it set in your mind that you care and want to make it. That way you're on the track at least to get there. dont wake up way past that age and then randomly realizing shit is fricked up.
Life has no meaning without death. The greatest achievement in your life should be your death. If you want to be a family man, see you it that when you die you are surrounded by generations of your offspring; they will have fond memories of you. If you want to make a change in the world see to it that your death has meaning. Frick all these mind rapists who want you to worry over staying young. Youth is for homoeroticism and to cultivate dreams; to try to stay youthful forever is pointless.
"the whole creation is travailing in pain and laborious working to be delivered from the vanity of time"
William Law.
https://ccel.org/ccel/law/doubt/doubt.i.iii.html
Become the divine ground within you, homosexual.
No
some insane bum grabbed me from behind the other day and starting saying "give me my money!" and although i haven't competed in combat sports in a decade, i still do calisthenics and kettlebell shit to stay reasonably fit though nothing like fight shape, and i broke out of his grasp and stared him down, but it made me think, i won't always be young enough to do that. gotta move to an area that isn't urban hellscape before i get too aged.
terrifying.
I'm 22 and it's crazy how fast life travels once you finish school. Everyone always tells you but well you never listen. I see my 93 year old grandfather and wonder why he keeps going. He has diabetes, covered in skin cancer, he can barely stand up, barely eat, sleeps 18 hours a day, can't remember much, is stone deaf, his body falls apart giving him massive cuts after the slightest impact (he knocked the edge of his calf on an open car door and totally tore it open, they couldn't even stitch it up since his flesh is too weak). I look at myself now and know he was once like that, and by that token provided I live that long I will one day be like him. Horrible.
I'm not afraid of getting older, I'm afraid of wasting my life
In the end up just find myself paralyzed and stuck in the past.
>fearing the inevitable
embrace it. I'm becoming an old rock climbing weirdo, which is the course. Dudes who dickride their fear into their 40s-50s are a joke.
This. I Han do problem not existing for a practical eternity before my birth, I’m sure I’ll be fine.
Don’t express this sentiment in front of normies though, you’ll get labeled a threat lmao
>normies
everyone gets old. Everyone can relate. The key to aging gracefully is basically expressed by
's sentiment. I'm really only climbing and working because I ain't dead yet.
Wish I started working out (seriously) when I was like 15
Im so afraid of wasting time I dont end up actually doing anything. Its a curse tbh
I'm so miserable
My T-levels must be absolutely cucked to oblivion
I have no lifts to speak of
My physique isn't even laughable, it's just pitiful. 5'9 and skinnyfat. KHHV too before I stopped giving a shit about that at the age of 22. The most average of all averages.
And I feel like I'm double my age.
The gym is literally a walk right down the street and I have a friend who goes religiously. Like, we correspond daily over text. I have an opportunity that people would kill to have and it's just blowing up in my face.
I owe it to that friend at least to be a man and pick myself up and at least do this one single thing consistently.
I have constant, painful, miserable thoughts full of negativity. Even when I'm offered positivity it's like I can't even grab hold of it.
I flippantly parrot lines like "Eat to live, not live to eat" while eating donuts and drinking cappuccinos. I wank off to pornography nightly. I eat food that I don't even like that completely destroys my body. I watch videos that I don't even like just to feel anything and I still feel nothing.
If I had an ounce of virtue, I would just kill myself. At least with one courageous act I could exterminate the pestilence I am in other people's lives. I bring no lasting or stable joy to anyone. I provide nothing to anyone. I truly and honestly hate myself and you can see it expressed clearly in my actions. I hope I die every night and just go straight to hell.
>All conditioned things have the nature of vanishing, including your sick gainz