Are you primarchmaxxing? Already installed your black carapace, citizens of holy terra?

Are you primarchmaxxing? Already installed your black carapace, citizens of holy terra?

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  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Horus is a manlet
    Figures

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He's not, the three big fellas are just really tall even by primarch standards
      Alpharius and Omegon are primarchlets in a literal sense, being roughly the same height as the space marines created from their geneseed, and Perturabo is a manlet in his mind

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        how tall is lion el'jonson? I like the dark angels

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Lion El'Jonson?!?!?!?!?!?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I don't think it was ever stated, but I think it was stated that he seems to have this noble, almost regal aura around him and is very imposing, so he might be a bit taller than average
          Also he's the only primarch Gorillaman is implied to be insecure around

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The lion is a fricking spastic. The fallen are 100% a problem of his own making.
          >the mortal who raised you has one moment of doubt
          >the problem is solved by him realising he fricked up and other 100% loyal brothers jettisoning the nuke
          >hurdur lets banish them to our home world which i know has chaos taint for centuries and leave them to rot
          >wtf why did these guys i abandoned to chaos taint revolt?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            the Lion has cool hair and beard, and the soul of an apex predator. and a sick sword

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >there exists 3 men that are taller than you
      >heh, manlet 😉

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, Rogal Dorn is canonically the shortest primarch, he's the true manlet.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Is he only 8.5 feet tall or what?
        Do the Primaris Marines end up even taller than the Primarchs? Do you guys like the Primaris Marines? I think some people find them OP

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Nope, Alpharius and Omegon are. They are the same height as their space marines (who happen to be unusually tall for an Astartes). They also all look very similar to each other, so they take advantage of that by doing cosmetic surgery on their faces so that they all look like Alpharius, and he actually did often send his officers to meetings and such in his stead

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Alpharius is able to pass as a regular legionnaire in the Bequin trilogy. It's an open question if Eisenhorn knows he's the primarch. The entire "nobility in shadows" description is limited to him and his brother.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Magnus can change his size at will, he can be the size of a Titan if he wants so putting him first seems disingenuous. Also everyone on this list is still over 10 feet tall.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        10 ft is the new 5'6 in the 41st millenium

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No, I am one of the innumerable DYEL Imperial Guard, one comrade of uncountable billions who will live until their last breathe to inch forward the boundaries of the Emperor's dominion far, far away from the home planet he will never see.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      duty only ends in death brother

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Imperial guard
      >dyel
      Heavy weapons trooper coming through with pic related
      >and you also forgot about Ogryns…

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        what the frick are these rules, is this 2nd edition autism
        t. still playing 7th ed to this day

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Only War TTRPG. Everyone plays IG guardsmen (or a tech priest, ministorum priest, or sanctioned psyker attached to them). It uses a d100 system.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Men of Tanith do you want to live forever

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Autistically good with numbers
    >Love elves
    >Favourite colours include blue/bronze
    I'm literally Roboute
    >Shouldn't vulkan be taller than Ferrus?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Iron hands
      I get it heh.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    imagine if they had a good leader instead of that moron emperor, humanity could have won the great by now

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He's just a sleepyboi

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you don't understand, we NEED the 5 dimensional highway of which we can only realistically control the one entrance on Terra that is held together with duct tape and chewing gum without any hope of ever building additional gates or even mapping out any fraction of it

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >webwaylet
        lmaoing @ ur race

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Remind me what happened to the knife ears again?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Always on the verge of extinction but still numerous to afford to lose armies and entire Craftworlds at the same time.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          At least humans didn't murderfrick the Warp god equivalent of a venereal disease into existence, knife-ear.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You wish you had such potential, now excuse me while I cast Mind War on your feeble psyche

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Sure thing, just remind me one more time, what's the name of the god we're talking about again? I know you know it 🙂

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                He Who Hungers

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                But enough about me after my workout

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Writers had to force moronness on him, he was too perfect, the whole Horus Heresy was his own fault

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Gold Daddy engineered this from the start so he could be worshiped as a god while having psyker energy fed into him leading to him one day being reborn as the warp god of Order and Humanity. All of the seemingly stupid and counterproductive moves were just 5D chess. Trust the plan. M (alcador) predicted this.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            didn't he punished everyone that worshiped him as a god?, that's how the entire horus heresy began

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >Lorgar, the warrior priest primarch, worships emperor as a God
              >emperor hates it and embarrasses Lorgar and boys
              >Lorgar sulks
              >eventually discovers the actual gods, the Four Chaos gods
              >worships them instead
              >eventually his boy Erebus is directly responsible for starting the Heresy after almost killing Horus but convinces him to rebel instead
              Ya you're not wrong

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Big E was very emphatic about not being worshipped as a god, Lorgar couldn't help himself and did it anyways, if he hadn't been so fricking slow at conquering the planets because he wouln't leave until they were converted, his daddy woun't have needed to show up and scold him, then he decided to worship demons instead and helped in corrupting the bald fraud, the emperor wasn't perfect, and it was outright moronic in not telling them about chaos, but the heresy was not his fault.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        How else are you gonna starve the warp without developing a better form of FTL travel?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Only a select minority of people (custodians and mechanicus) can make heads or tails of the Webway's geography. Even Vulcan has trouble navigating it. How would mass travel even work in these conditions? Hardly the democratization of space travel that the human webway was paraded as.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Well the emperor was clearly kind of modeling his plans after the success of the Eldar, while attempting to avoid their mistakes. I like speculate a bunch of reasons, but the quick version is that if other races could make use of the web way it stands to reason there are ways that humanity can as well.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Yeah we're left with speculations at this point. Perhaps the Emperor had a plan to genetically engineer a species of humans that would be able to make sense of the webway like Humans from the DAoT did with the Navigator lineages. Vulcan seemed to think that it was a fool's errand from the beginning and I tend to agree, but who knows.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The Old Ones made the Eldar capable of utilizing the webway extremely well.
                >Vulkan thought it was a fools errand
                Decent chance he’s right, it seems the Emp made plenty of mistakes in not only the small stuff but in his overall vision for humanity. But I don’t think we can say he was definitely wrong about the webway for sure.
                >schizoposting
                Lore says at least 1 Old One survived the war in heaven. I’d imagine he’s 100% dead at this point, but my pet theory is that he met/spoke with/influenced the Emperor. Tried to warn him about where things went wrong for them after their ascension and give him guidance. That’s why Emps uses the Eldar as a template but also a warning, and why he made the webway a priority. May have even been responsible partly for the creation/ascension of the Emperor.. but that’s probably less likely.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    look at Magnus hairfrauding. he was the psyker, right?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, he was the ''biggest'' by using magic to look bigger

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    For reference, Magnus is 6'1
    Perturabo is 5'3

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    That height chart is just some redditor fanfic.

    Not official scale

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Space Marines aren't natty tho. That said do you think you can survive the spess mahrine transformation process?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I definitely could, and they would probably fast track me to being an officer
      idk about any of you jokers, tho

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      In one of the books one of the characters is a failed initiate who didn't get through the trials, he's basically a drooling moron that's afraid of loud noises because of it and live with his dad. That's probably how it would go for me

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        There’s another where an initiate didn’t have all the geneseeds (including the Primaris ones) implanted right, and he was basically a huge hunchback. He still had super intelligence and was the captain of a chapters’ ship. “Darkness in the Blood”, Iirc

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Ah, mine was Devastation of Baal, also about the Blood Angels. Guess their trials are especially hardcore.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What about the Dark Angels, and their primarch... Lion El'Jonson

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Who?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Lion El’Johnson, Lord of the First Legion. Space daddy is coming back for his boys, all of ‘em; the short ones, the tall ones, the loyal ones, even some of the lost ones he found are coming back with him! You ready for space-daddy’s return? GW pushin it real hard!

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Hell yeah. Lion El'Jonson is gonna wake up, and set everything right

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Yep, and he’s gonna bring all his Rainbow Warriors with him! Gonna destroy all that Chaos and homophobia and transphobia in the Warhammer community with Lion El’Johnson’s huge primarch power!

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Lion El'Jonson doesn't have any Rainbow Warriors, and the word "transphobia" would be meaningless to him

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Chaos has an actual homo-troony faction though

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Chaos has an actual homo-troony faction though
                Yes, and Lion El'Jonson and his Dark Angels will eradicate them all, in the name of the Emperor

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Lion El'Jonson is gonna wake up
                >gonna
                anon...

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                hell yeah, the Primarch thread is still going

                I didn't realize they finally woke his sleepy ass up already, when did this happen

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >when did this happen
                A few months ago I think

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            SPOILER:
            -kid becomes Primaris Space Marine anyways. Turns out his drooling moron injury can be fixed with Primaris gene seed and Primaris plot armor.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Failed initiates are typically turned into servitors, I think Blood Angels are a bit different, they just shove failed initiates into their Berserker Squads and throw them at the enemy.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        There’s another where an initiate didn’t have all the geneseeds (including the Primaris ones) implanted right, and he was basically a huge hunchback. He still had super intelligence and was the captain of a chapters’ ship. “Darkness in the Blood”, Iirc

        Wasn't Luther a failed space marine, like he was too old for regular space marine-ification so they put him through some other process that made him essentially a diet space marine

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        failed initiates can have all sorts of fates, servators, serfs, getting sent back with honors. given that recruiting worlds are often eugenics/cultural experiments of chapters to make the best recruits, you probably get sent back with instructions to bang every woman possible and raise the boys to be warriors if it's just that you're too old.
        The Calgar comic had a failed aspirant who was hired by nobles to train their kids to be worthy. fell to khorne because of envy, but it's not a bad job, It's probably like being a college football coach.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Usually if they fail they just end up dieing. It's pretty rare to see initiates. There was one in the Heresy, a Death Guard initiate who ended up being Nathaniel Garrow's servant. He still got the shit killed out of himself, but his death was not in vain.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If you're talking about the Siege of Baal book, it was because the failed initiate hit his head during the trials. At the end the Apothecary says its a simple fix and he's still eligible for the turbosteroids treatment.

        Failed initiates usually serve the chapter in one form or another from what I've seen, either as men at arms/chapter troops or in some other capacity. Rynn's World had the chapter master's bodyman as a failed initiate.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, it's having several major organs taken out and replaced, without anesthesia.

      In one of the books one of the characters is a failed initiate who didn't get through the trials, he's basically a drooling moron that's afraid of loud noises because of it and live with his dad. That's probably how it would go for me

      The only other honest anon replying.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >be blood angel aspirant
      >go in coffin for a year in a coma
      >wake up as a space marine
      Ezpz. Unless you wake up and have to spend the whole year stuck in a coffin.. that would be hell and maybe drive you insane

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >asking Dorn how long he'll be in the squat rack for

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      what kind of sets and reps would old Rogal do?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Fortify glutes x infinity

        Chaos has an actual homo-troony faction though

        They also have an Indian faction

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Indian faction
          Nurgle?

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yes. Have you ever seen the ganges? They eat da poo poo.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yes.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    chaos has taken over my shoulder for too long.
    may the big E spare me from this pain.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you guys think they will ever reveal any info about the lost (II and XI) Legions

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >pulls the Heretic Alarm in Imperium Fitness

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think those are left as "blanks" on purpose. The 40k universe is first and foremost a table top game. By having blank legions, it allows players to build and create their own legions. One issue 40k runs into is when it tries to explain things too much. It needs some mystery to work well.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That is a good point. I find the mystery surrounding the [redacted] legions quite intriguing, tho.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There's very little, all of it vague enough to mean anything, as they should be. Little some pre heresy emperors children thought one of the primarchs was "Immature" and there's the time malcador force choked horus after mentioning them, while he was being choked he was saying "Mal", it's up to interpretation if it was begging, defiance of saying one of their names or bringing up malice/malal. Also dorn realises they where psychically removed from his memories.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think those are left as "blanks" on purpose. The 40k universe is first and foremost a table top game. By having blank legions, it allows players to build and create their own legions. One issue 40k runs into is when it tries to explain things too much. It needs some mystery to work well.

      It's one of the "set in stone" bits of lore from the early days. It's a fan favorite, it gives the franchise a bit of mystery, it's a big nod to the missing Roman legions, and if GW tries to mess with it fans will revolt.

      I'm pretty sure Magnussy's absurd height is canon (though illussionfrauding is a possibility) , what I think the pic got wrong is Ferrus and Vulkan, they should be switched in height

      Magnus is a notorious hairfrauder, we already discussed this.
      Also it sounds like some type of R*dditor might have made that chart, so take it with a grain of salt

      Pretty sure Magnus with his psyker powers just used a bit of Biomancy to augment his height.

      Who is your favorite primarch? Mine is...
      ...
      ..........
      Lion El'Jonson

      Pre crazy drugs and shit, Fulgrim. A preening drama bird he may be, but he was one of the deadliest Primarchs there is and he got a lot of shit done, especially with a depleted Legion. On record for defeating both Guilliman and Manus. On the other hand I simply cannot see any reason why anyone would like the Khan. Yeah he's Genghis in SPACE but notable accolades and deeds? Near nil. His best 'win' in the entire Horus Heresy is retaking a space port on Terra and that was merely a footnote in the franchise. It wasn't until recently that writers have been trying to embellish the Khan and give him chops, but his whole attitude of 'I'm an outrider and you don't know my strengths means I'm better then you' really sucks. Embarrassingly the Khan was the LAST to know about the Heresy so his whole schtick of being a loner backfired on him pretty badly.

      Basically Fulgrim was the lifter that worked with everyone and shouted his numbers to the whole gym. Khan was the guy that would drive 5 hours to a shipping container in the country he kept his gym equipment in and lifted there and thought he was better because of it.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        > he was one of the deadliest Primarchs there is and he got a lot of shit done
        > Basically Fulgrim was the lifter that worked with everyone and shouted his numbers to the whole gym.

        Meanwhile Perturabo out here out lifting everyone and not getting any attention for it. as it should be

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Perturabo is so inconsistently written his lifts are all over the place, some weeks he's on fire but other weeks he struggles. One thing he does do is autistically stare at the gym cameras and goes after every one of Dorn's records trying to beat him.

          >notable accolades and deeds? Near nil
          The point is that he's an exact opposite of a glory hound. He doesn't need anyone to hear about his heroic deeds and doesn't care for the recognition. He just gets stuff done and moves on.
          Some may say that this makes him boring, personally I think it's pretty based that he doesn't engage in the petty dick measuring contests that arise pretty much every single time two or more primarchs interact

          Khan was definitely a backburner Primarch, GW definitely were not that invested in him.

          friendly reminder that bobby G almost got killed by Khor Phearon. He is a weak b***h.
          Great statesman awefull fighter

          Nearly got killed by an Alpha Legion hit team too. Guilliman is weirdly written, like they're trying to make all his fights seem like he's winning/surviving by the skin of his teeth. Gulliman is the lifter who's form is impeccable, and does all the right dieting and accessories and even then he's barely able to keep up with the Primarches in the gym.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Perturabo pulls a world record lift in his home gym, films it, but when he wants to show everyone they just go "uh huh, sure" and go back to talking without watching it, while he seethes impotently.
            He's also the kind of guy to go around the gym and nitpick everyone's form down to absolutely minute details then seethe because everyone brushes him off and doesn't want to talk. He thinks this is because they all think they're better than him and/or are secretly jealous of his lifts when in reality he just comes off as a condescending prick
            >"uhm akchually you need to sit your hips .754in lower, enjoy your zero gains"

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              come to think of it he really is the most IST primarch isn't he?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >notable accolades and deeds? Near nil
        The point is that he's an exact opposite of a glory hound. He doesn't need anyone to hear about his heroic deeds and doesn't care for the recognition. He just gets stuff done and moves on.
        Some may say that this makes him boring, personally I think it's pretty based that he doesn't engage in the petty dick measuring contests that arise pretty much every single time two or more primarchs interact

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm a Dorn/black templat guy, but Khan is arguably the

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm a Dorn/black templar guy, but I have so much respect for the Khan for this reason.

          Did his job well, didn't become a gloryhound, incredible depth to him and his boys, and does not give a frick. And considering that Horus naturally assumed that Khan would turn because of their friendship, but he didn't.

          I know the general consensus is to get Vulkan or Dorn back, but I think the Khan deserves to bust out of the Webway with revelations about the Webway, and Drukhari inspired armor and concubines.
          I think that him, Guilleman, and Lion would have a great dynamic in the current timelime

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >space Mongolians on jet bikes
            How can you not love White Scars?

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Because painting white is agony

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous
  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Could the living Primarchs still take the average Primaris Marine 1v1?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, it would be like a grown man fighting a three year old.
      Primarchs are absurdly powerful, meanwhile primaris is "only" a space marine on (even more) steroids
      For reference, Angron, who in fairness is one of the more physically gifted primarchs, was able to resist a 400 ton Warhound Titan trying to stomp him and hold its leg in place, although he took very significant damage doing that (I believe the book described sounds of bones cracking and muscles and ligaments tearing under the pressure)

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Wasnt he a roided out daemon Primarch by then?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Not yet, that happened at the end of that book though. Demon Angron fricks.

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Who is your favorite primarch? Mine is...
    ...
    ..........
    Lion El'Jonson

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Objectively correct

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Rogal Dorn, obviously.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the only one doing things is Guilliman, everyone else is death or irrelevant, writers are too afraid to move the plot

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lion just woke up and is currently leading a crusade IIRC

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Alpharius
      The concept of "all acording to keikaku" space glowBlack folk is so silly that it's good

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Mortarion because he saw through the emperors hypocrazy traight away

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't get down with the forces of Chaos, but I must admit that Mortarion's whole grim reaper aesthetic is pretty awesome

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I love my Angel Boy Saguinius. Goal body for sure.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Sangunius*. That's embarrassing, Emperor forgive me.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sanguinius*. I think I'm having a stroke lads, I better sit down.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Vulkan, man. Anyone who has the stones to basically fistfight an ork the size of an office building deserves respect

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sanginius, G-Man, Khan.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dorn because autism
      Khan because he's based
      Sanguinius because he was the best of them

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Primarchs / Space marines are homosexuals that do nothing, the faction that get things done are the Astra militarum

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        what about the Tau? what's up with those funky guys?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          small enough faction to be irrelevant but strong enough to need a massive deployment for extermination. Since the emperium has bigger concernes they are mostly ignored

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          they're based, if they develop IA, like ancient humans did, they'll win the great game

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            If they develop AI like ancient humans did it'll go the same way it went for ancient humans during the Iron Men uprising, especially now that Chaos's hold on the galaxy is stronger than ever.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I wonder if ancient humans could obliterate everyone in the current setting

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I don't think so. Certainly not the Necrons. Humans had some funny gadgets though
                >a gun that removes you from reality, past and present (that includes memories people have of you)
                >a 50s sci-fi style disintegrator that just one-shots space marines in full armor
                >the ship that everyone knows about that shoots black holes
                Necrons however are still on a whole other level. Remember that they broke from under the yoke of and ultimately defeated the C'tan, basically the oldest living entities in our universe

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Space weebs scared of melee combat, they cope by saying it's dishonorabu and primitive

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Cowardly fricks who deserve the space rope

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I hate Primarchs, every single one of them. Arrogant pieces of shit that are only slightly less disconnected from humanity than Big E is. That goes even for Sanguinius.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Leman, I love the dumb jock trope, especially if there's a twist that they're actually really knowledgeable about a certain thing

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Konrad Curze, the guy is such an edge lord I can't help but find it hilarious

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Didn't know Magnus the Nerd was the biggest, always thought it was either Leman or Vulkan. Also, didn't need to look at the pic to know perty is a bitter manlet.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Magnus is a notorious hairfrauder, we already discussed this.
      Also it sounds like some type of R*dditor might have made that chart, so take it with a grain of salt

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I'm pretty sure Magnussy's absurd height is canon (though illussionfrauding is a possibility) , what I think the pic got wrong is Ferrus and Vulkan, they should be switched in height

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Working on my Iron Hands army.

    Might have to get an airbrush for the tanks because even with eob's tutorial, holy frick it's tough.

    Iron Hands also unironically the most IST Space Marines
    > Emotionally stunted
    > severe body dismorphia
    > shitty relationship with their father
    > besties with the femboy legion
    > overlooked by the general populace aside from niche folks

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      > 2 redemptors
      meta prostitute

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The Iron hands hate their flesh and would rather go mechanic than train their bodies, they are metal trannies that are too pussy to go full AdMec.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        as I said,
        > severe body dismorphia

        > 2 redemptors
        meta prostitute

        Iron Hands venerate dreads so thematically it makes sense. It also chaps my ass that space wolves get TWO named (albeit venerable) dreadnoughts, and Blood Angels with special themed dreadnoughts.
        I just want an Iron Council Dread character. Feirros is fun, but he's a techmarine with a few extra tricks.

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    friendly reminder that bobby G almost got killed by Khor Phearon. He is a weak b***h.
    Great statesman awefull fighter

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Primarchs in the Gym

    >Russ is one of the strongest lifters, very Bro like, will lift your PB as his warm up and insists on bringing his dogs to the gym

    >Johnson, a natural at lifting, bad at coaching.

    >Fulgrim, lifts for aesthetics but is surprisingly strong as well

    >Dorn, complains about his aches and pains but still lifts through them, seems to secretly enjoy the pain

    >Perturabo, follows Dorn around trying to beat him in lifts but Dorn doesn't know this.

    >Angron, bellows as he lifts, slams his weights down, doesn't clean up after himself, eats lifting chalk and unironically takes SWEET ANGER RAGE pre workout

    >Horus, the model lifter, but he changed once he started taking Chaos Creatine

    >Sanguinius, great lifter and work out buddy. Died when Horus refused to spot him on the bench press.

    >Ferrus Manus, uses machines only.

    >Cruze, doesn't lift just does parkour.

    >Mortatarion, friendly guy who offers his whey protein to everyone, no one wants to get near him though because he keeps ripping Primarch protein farts

    >Lorgar, too spiritual in the gym, says a prayer four times before every lift.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Magnus is the nerd who got assmad when he was outlifted by Leman Russ, and now he accuses everyone of not being natty even though he himself isn't natty either.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Kek very based. Guliman is over at the front desk doing gym logistics to figure out how everyone can maximize their time and energy while there in a way that will benefit the most people.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Roboute pretends to do basic all rounder routines, secretly loves maxing out on bench and deadlift
      >Khan exclusively does sprints on the treadmill, complains it isn't fast enough

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Corax - you know he goes to your gym, you know he lifts at your gym, but you never see him there

      >Vulkan - will stop in the middle of his set to spot you

      >Guilliman - not the best at lifting, but wrote the book on it

      >Alpharius - out of the bald manlets that go to your gym you’re not sure which one is him, if one is even him, or how many of them there even are

      >Khan - cannot do negatives, doesn’t rest between sets, exclusively drives a motorcycle to the gym

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Corax goes to the gym at 3:30am when no one else is around

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Corax, wears his hoodie and sweatpants, is polite and says hello to everyone but quietly does his sets then leaves. Cameras have no trace of him lifting.

      >Vulkan, very bro like, best gym buddy, strong to boot but takes very long rests and insists on bringing his own custom weights to the gym

      >Blood Ravens, first one 5 pound plate is missing, then all the sudden there's an odd number of clips, then more and more dumbbells and plates go missing, barbells too then one day the janitor walks in and the room is empty except for the smith machine.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think Corvus would mostly do calisthenics, gymnastics and crossfit type stuff

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I never considered the idea of Corvus being a crossshitter but now nothing else fits.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I see Cruze as the guy exercising in the corner, keeping to himself, muttering things under his breath, constantly glancing daggers at everyone else in the gym.

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is there any place at all in the 40k universe that is somewhat decent? It sounds like the whole universe is a literal hell hole for every race except like Orks who are just moronic. But this is just what I gather from what I hear peeps talk about.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No it's actually fairly decent for a lot of humans. We just focus on the bad part because, well, they're the most exciting.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Most factions have a few, the Imperium has pleasure planets which are exactly what they sound like, also plenty of governors have decent lives running relatively peaceful planets, Tau and Farsight enclaves seem to have the best lives for the average tau or human living within their empire, chaos worshippers seem to be having a great time, eldar according to their books have relatively calm lives on their craftworlds complete with alcohol and casual sex and orks have a good time as long as they're fighting

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Agri-planets are comfy ass planet farms, all you do is farm and load up your harvest into the giant ships. There are feudal worlds out there that are prime scouting places for space marines. The 500 worlds of McCrag or whatever are decent places, and I think in the old lore there were even pleasure planets for the Imperium's higher ups. But since the series is all about warfare with futuristic grim dark weapons, you won't hear about those places unless tey get attacked or something.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Most factions have a few, the Imperium has pleasure planets which are exactly what they sound like, also plenty of governors have decent lives running relatively peaceful planets, Tau and Farsight enclaves seem to have the best lives for the average tau or human living within their empire, chaos worshippers seem to be having a great time, eldar according to their books have relatively calm lives on their craftworlds complete with alcohol and casual sex and orks have a good time as long as they're fighting

        No it's actually fairly decent for a lot of humans. We just focus on the bad part because, well, they're the most exciting.

        Neat, how do I into 40K lore? What books/comics should I read?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Horus Heresy series is a good starting point to get a handle on the lore

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That’s 30k lore though

            [...]
            [...]
            Neat, how do I into 40K lore? What books/comics should I read?

            Personally the Caiphas Cain books are my favorite. They are written in mostly first hand accounts and he interacts with all of the major imperial factions which may serve as a decent introduction.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I got a good amount from /tg/ but it depends on what faction you like more than anything as that's what gonna get you reading more about the universe

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The Inquisition series from Dan Abnett are often recommended to newcomers because it's smaller in scope relatively speaking and has neat mystery elements to it. You'll see some of those places that were just mentioned where life isn't too bad for imperial citizenry by the way.
          You have the Ciaphas Cain books which are a more humoristic take on the setting (but still pretty warhammer-esque, it's not a comedy skit, just has the narrator cracking a few jokes)
          Then there's the big one, the Horus Heresy. The first ten books are a good read, then there is unfortunately a lot of trash that can be skipped over.
          There a some less Imperial centric series that I understand are pretty good like the Path of the Eldar series but I haven't had a chance to read them so I don't know

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          There’s no good answer for this question because there’s too many diverse options, and basically nothing is linear. Just pick a faction you like and ask about that specifically

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Don’t start with books written from the perspective of an Ork unless you want a very skewed, though arguably correct, version of the setting.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I've heard the Ciaphas Cain series is a good entry point. Some people recommend Horus Heresy books but I think that would just make many people confused

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Can confirm. The Ciaphas Cain books are, as far as I'm concerned, the definitive take on the 40k universe.
            It helps that Cain himself is fricking great.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The Gaunts Ghosts series was my first set of books and probably the best choice really. Its effectively the Band of Brothers in space, which introduces the most prominent faction in 40k after the speff mehrines got shafted.
          Then the Inquisition series from the Eisenhorn books to Ravenor and Bequin, which details the non warzone parts of the Imperium.
          Then Ciaphas Cain, as mentioned somewhere above.
          Once youre done with these 3 series, read the Heresy.
          Dont read anything by Graham McNeil, hes an absolute shite cringe author, on par with a reddit fanfic mod. E.g. he named Titan legion knights after Children of Bodom songs and various finnish metal bands and its just ill fitting.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            In Imperator: Wrath of the Omnissiah Gav Thorpe gives one of the main characters (a tech priest) nonsense pronouns and when the tech priests squirt wifi at each other their pronouns are so important they are the first item in the string of text. Like even before their name and position in the Cult Mechanicus. Ruined the story pretty hard. Can you think of anything else a tech priest could give less of a shit about than some bullshit gender identity and pronouns? They lobotomize their soldiery and slave them to their will, pretty sure they don’t give a shit if Magos Bet-Sóy 6 Gamma thinks he’s a demi-girl beyond it indicating malfunction, heresy, or corruption.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >incoming noosphere transmission...
              >dear (Fae/Faer) Magos Biologis:
              sounds absolutely cancerous

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Space Wolf Series is good for begginers even if the lore isnt 100% upto date. It shows the tale of a tribal guy as he becomes a space marine and climbs the ranks.
          Ialso like the beast arises series though it starts slow and drags a fricking lot. it does a great job of showing off the sheer scale of the the warhammer universe. Its humanity vs orks who at the time, are much much stronger than humanity. You have serious, dangerous orks instead of comic relief cannon fodder.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There’s plenty of places. You just can’t say “the entirety of X faction is easy mode”. Pretty similar to modern earth honestly. A random baby being born this second is more likely to be born poor in India or east Asia than anywhere with indoor plumbing, even today.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's described as "Grim Dark" for a reason mate.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Pleasure and paradise worlds exist if you have enough money and influence to go there

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        sounds dangerously slaaneeshi to me

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is it wrong to call the Primarch of the Ultramarines "Robot Girlyman?"

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's robooty girlyman, and I play ultramarines. You can thank matt ward's 5th edition codex propaganda for making me play smurf's at a young age.

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Which one is the hot twink primarch again? Thats me

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      no gay primarchs

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fulgrim. That homie is fruity. But some of his boys have weapons that are literally musical instruments that play noise so loud it rips people apart, so that's pretty neat.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        would you go so far as to call that homie "zesty?"

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I wouldn't but Jagatai might

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            lmao "they're devilishly fast"
            The Khan giving him the side eye for saying that

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Fulgrim calls Ferrus Manus a 'terrible gorgon' for not appreciating art
            >Manus just laughs and takes up the moniker of Gorgon, he and Fulgrim and as an extension their legions, are best friends and their friendship is heralded throughout the Empire
            >Fulgrim compliments Khan and asks him an innocuous question
            >Khan spills his spaghetti and goes 'No u'

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Ya...you should read about the Istvaan 3 drop site massacre and see how that friendship turned out.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Oh I know exactly what happens on Istvaan, and Fulgrim actually beats Manus twice, once on Manus's flagship and the other on Istvaan. I just think it's funny that Khan is so socially inept he can't handle Fulgrim's question with good grace, Khan's autism requires him to be the stoic steppe warrior. Despite what he thinks, Khan's aloofness does more harm than good.

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              yeah that was such a great friendship when Fulgrim fricking murdered Manus on Istvaan, wasn't it

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                would you guys bone a drukhari woman?

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                They get off on inflicting suffering since things like torture are the only way for their souls to stay in their bodies but to answer your question yes

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I can fix her

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >would you guys have the best sex in the galaxy with a woman who will flay your dick and then turn your skin into sentient artwork
                tough choice honestly

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          No, shut the frick up.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you shut up

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    hnng I want to get Magnus pilled so bad. Curse this second eye!

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    where's my homie fulgrim at

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Catachan maxing.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Catachan posting is cheating, they're all mini Schwarzeneggers.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I love the lore of this planet.
      >it's fricking hot and everything is going to kill you fast no matter what armour you wear so let's all just be space Rambos and wear nothing but pants

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        they're based as frick even with lore that moronic lel
        they should start throwing cadian pattern guard regiments onto the far side of catachan and then just use the ones who manage make it back to the spaceport. every other faction would be dead in 2 months, tops

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lion El'Jonson

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Reminder that Magnus was a DYEL lanklet and got BTFO by a real Chad.
    picrel

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Russ is either a moron or a massive hypocrite
      >has huge b***h fit about psykers at Nikaea
      >legion still uses rune priests
      >durr they're DIFFERENT because FENRIS
      The Kahn was literally the only primarch that had a reasonable take on Psykers/the warp.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, Russ is a moron.
        >Attempts to browbeat a legion and primarch well known for flying off the handle their berserker implants
        >Takes it upon himself to send teams of Space Wolves to other loyalist Primarchs 'just to make sure they don't turn traitor too' which is a massive insult
        >Absolutely hates psykers and sorcery despite his own dad being the strongest psyker in the galaxy
        >Got led around the nose by Alpharius severely diminishing the effectiveness of the Space Wolves in the Heresy, also leading them to NOT be at Terra during the siege
        >Goes into the Eye of Terror for no good reason, robbing the Imperium and Astartes of a Primarch

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >got btfo by a space furry
      yeah ok
      remind me how Fenris is doing after getting blown the frick out by nearly every faction, including other imperials

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He also figured out Alpharius/Omegon are twins, let's see that ginger nerd figure that out if he's so smart

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I suspect at least one of my departed brothers could attest to this
        That's right the theory is the Space Wolves took out one of the missing legions. Maybe both. GW better not flesh that out, leave it a mystery.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I believe one of the HH novels hints at them through a convo between Magnus and Lorgar where big red basically warns Lorgar to stop pissing off their dad ''lest he share the fate of our brothers who we no longer mention'' or something along those lines

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            there's a few instances of writers hinting that Russ and a few others aided in destroying the other 2 legions. Sanguinius was afraid what happened to them was going to happen to his legion when Horus found out about the Red Thirst.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      space wolves have the biggest plot armour in all of WH40K those morons charged at the thousend sons without helmets and somehow didnt get mowed down. Absolute clown legion

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    do you guys think Peturabo enjoyed choo choo trains as a young child?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      he and his legion play the equivalent of Warhammer 40 Million in their downtime so they're all genetically designed to have crippling autism

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Pert's the guy that obsesses over numbers in the gym, calculating weights down to the millionth of a gram.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        his armor is designed so he can personally take control of a single turret on a battlefield the size of a planet, he has the worst OCD in the history of the galaxy

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What if the Primarchs are your Gym's Personal Trainer:

    Alpharius
    >Actually makes you do everything from power lifting to calisthenics. You become a jack of all trades, able to do everything but not specialized in one thing. However you end up bald and your body exactly looks like everyone else's.

    Sanguinius
    >A noble coach and mentor, he inspires you to push yourself past your limits. But when he gets under the bar he loses control of himself and becomes enraged almost as much as Angron

    Guilliman
    >Everything is textbook, the workouts, the diet, the rest, everything. He even gives you a free copy of the book and you see that it was written by him.

    Angron
    >Will ignore you, so you end up doing what he does. If you cross his path however he will not hesitate to boot you out of the way and into a wall. Once a week or whenever he feels like it he moves all the gym machines to create a fighting pit and throws two men in there with EZ bars.

    Conrad
    >Kidnaps you and drops you off in the middle of the ghetto with just a knife and a picture with a red circle around a person.

    Russ
    >Makes you drink a beer after every set. As a practical joke he turns down the temperature to negative degrees then breaks the thermostat. You strongly suspect that all his advice is bro science.

    Lorgar
    >Believes in cultivating the mind as well as body. This just means that in the middle of your set he quizzes you on scripture. Unfortunately if you get it wrong he gets angry and presses the bar down on you.

    Vulcan
    >Genuine nice guy but he keeps the gym at a minimum of 100 degrees.

    Fulgrim
    >Will train you for aesthetics but will also encourage you do try new things, like different exercises, different lifts, maybe some cocaine laced workout protein powder. Unironically doesn't care if you have failure lifting as it's just another new experience.

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Kinda makes one wonder, if almost killing the Emperor and destroying the galaxy wasn't enough for Horus to be purged from the records, what did these two mystery primarchs do exactly?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      they were probably purged for their absolutely awful color schemes in Rogue Trader

      they haven't fleshed the legions out obviously but the hints we're given seem to suggest that one or both of the primarchs were corrupted by the warp after they were teleported from Terra, so it may just have been that they corrupted their legions and were purged to keep Chaos under wraps. Kurze, Angron, Lorgar, and a few others were in line to be purged before Horus threw the galaxy's biggest temper tantrum so their actions may not have even been particularly egregious if Kurze survived being purged for that long

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Put some real power into your armor.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >but muh knockoff gundamns
      Lol, the Imperium has models so powerful they cost too many points to use in a game of 40k. You have have to play Apocalypse or Legions Imperialis. Even in Legions you can only field one of the most powerful titans in a 3000 point game.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Black person every army has apoc options not feasible in a regular game

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          But they don’t have a 4-5 foot tall 1:56 scale “miniatures”

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Controlling a titan would be the most metal thing possible.
        >Link your brain to a 100 foot tall death robot so you literally think it's body is your own.
        >when you're done fighting, your brain cables are unplugged and you need to go back to your soft human body and hopefully not completely annihilate your sanity in the process
        Good thing only like 1/1,000,000 people have the capabilities to pilot one.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Titan fighting is so cool: I forget which book it's in but they described titan fighting as a long range battle; if two titans fight in close quarters the outcome is mutually assured destruction. But the pilot of one of the titans was so good he excelled at close quarters combat and shot up other titans through buildings. Of course he started to go insane, remembering people from 200 years past but he was too important to the campaign to remove him.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          There is a really cool moment in the siege of terra books (one of the rare ones) involving Titans. It's right at the end, the battle is all but lost for the imperials as the penultimate wall of the imperial palace has fallen and every renegade warrior is basically consumed by adrenaline and every one is just sprinting towards the Inner Sanctum in this sort of weird race without a care for anything else around them: enemy fire, their own comrades, it's like they have ultra tunnel vision. So you have this Legion Titanica running, the crews inside are either dead or covered in their own shit due to having been on the field for months but they're all in the same trance trying to climb the ruins of the wall (the rubble itself is a mile high), some titans are falling over, firing their grapple hooks trying to find balance, it's chaos. Basically a pack of rabid animals.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I read that, I just finished the seige.
            >titans climbing a hill of bodies to get to the palace
            >the bodies are fallen titans
            Then we saw the psy titans in Mortis, which was an awful book. Those homies shoot worm hole bombs and walk through them to literally teleport behind guys and unsheath their katanas.
            >heh, nothing personnel, kid

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sanguinius is supposed to be the most beautiful of them all, why is he the most fridgemoded?
      I always though his proportions would be closer to Lorgar's or Mortarion's in that picture

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Flying is a full body workout. Jk he flies using the warp, his wings are too small to carry himself and act more like stabilizers.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Horus the short king
      Is this the reason for the 10,000 year chimpout?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I still don't understand how the tallest primarch ended up being the biggest fricking beta nerd, like he heightmogged everyone

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