We’re all autists, share your stories of pain. I’ll start:
>see open lat pulldown cable machine
>every other machine and free weight is busy
>girl next to it doing tri pulldowns finishes set
>she moves to it just as I walked over
>goddammit.png
>ask her if she’s going to use the lat pulldown machine
>her: ”Yeah, but you can go first.”
>me: ”No, it’s okay, I’ll figure something else out.”
>turn around and speedwalk to the locker room
>hear her going: ”Oh…”
>later
>doing dumbbell incline press
>see her in mirror
>she looks at me in in the mirror with a slightly disappointed look
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I farted at work today and my coworkers laughed, one of them was a girl
There that's my autism story
Not at the gym, but I’ll take it. Why are normies cruel to us autists? You did a completely natural action.
I did the same during highschool. I appologised and the cute girl I was next too laughed and told me she wouldn't have noticed if I didn't tell her.
This is the tyoe of moronic shit I still remember before gping to sleep even though it happened like 7 years ago.
I’m so glad COVID fricked my memory up, I’ve forgotten most of my most embarrassing memories from childhood. I’m not nearly as awkward as before because of it. I can’t wait until I get dementia, I’ll be a social butterfly(cruel genie, this is sarcastic).
Thst w3bm...
Japanese autism. Cool right?
Brütal mog
Why? Why do you gays remember stupid storys that really dont matter to your futures objectives
Im alpha because i chose how i make me feel not fricking random woman in the work or roasties, i remember when i was a stupid kid that make the ridículous in one theathre and today dont really care
LIFE IS SHORT REMEMBER WHAT IS IMPORTANT YOU FRICKING homosexualS
Why are you so worked up, man? Chill out.
>i remember when i was a stupid kid that make the ridículous in one theathre
Ayo this homie eating beans
once when getting up in the middle of the night to go piss I farted so loud I hear "Jesus CHRIST" from across the wall. in someone else's apartment. woke someone up through two layers of drywall kek.
damn that ass can fart
made me die laughing
good one
thanks for the ab workout
hahaha this reminds me of when i was taking a shit at an airbnb a few months ago
i farted loudly and the toilet amplified it even more
i could hear a neighbor (an old man) laughing through the walls right after
Am I autistic for not wanting to socialise at the gym?
I absolute cant stand it when people stand around talking in the gym. Its not a fricking pub.
Just fricking lift and leave man, frick sake.
nah, i’m a social being and still the gym is my private me time
For me, 24/7 is private me time. Haha
I talk to my bros between sets. When I was by myself, I had a fellow autist come up to me and start talking to me. I could tell he was nervous, but I chatted with him for a bit. He was just doing a different type of exercise.
>He was just doing a different type of exercise
Wholesome
WHy is it that when Im anywhere in public, gym or whatever, if a guy comes up to me and starts talking, I just automatically assume hes gay and trying to chat me up?
Globo homosexual has destroyed male friendship through the rainbow agenda.
Male friendship is too powerful a force and they had to stop it
because homosexuals are everywhere these days
and so are dishonest subversive ulterior motives
No you're not. I go to a large gym that rarely has more than 10 people in it when I'm there. I wear my earbuds to listen to audiobooks and people always walk up to me and start talking like I can hear them. It's gotten to the point I just blurt out "I can't hear you and I don't want to talk." So fricking rude and annoying but I bet they think that of me since I blow them off.
nice autist moment anon
Not really, I spend a lot of my day talking because of the nature of my work so I’d like a reprieve so I can focus on my lifts for the day. The other gymanons are probably really cool people and it’s not even a slight on them, it’s just I want to listen to my music and train upper body in peace.
>cant stand it when people stand around talking in the gym
especially when it's women, yes.
Agree with you mostly, only exception is when someone better than me tells me that my form is fricked up and gives me advice or if a complete beginner is asking me for advice, how to use a machine or do an exercise or whatever
only talk during rests or walking one bench to the next, if I'm done with my rest I check my watch, slowly get in position for my set while staring at the guy and nodding to whatever he's talking about and they get the message
You dont have to socialise but why tf do you get mad when other people do so
Hey anon, could you post your phone # so I can call you while you have sex.
Totally the same thing you showed me
Frick, you're autistic. Just have a nice day in the head.
Doing the activities you love is tenfold better when done in good company.
kys autismo
I talk to whoever I want in the gym
you're probably just annoyed because you are either too autistic to socialize yourself or no one wants to talk to you but let's be honest, it is definitely the first since people in the gym are usually nice and open to chit chat during breaks
Yeah I don't get this, but maybe that's because I mostly went to combat sport gyms and socialisation is more normal since you see the same people.
>Go to gym stoned to the BONE
>On rowing machine
>Girl walks past staring at me
>I smile but since im stoned and have a dry mouth my lips get stuck to my teeth
>Pic related was the girls POV
>She gives me a weird look
>Some guy who was watching laughs at me
That’s hilarious, I’m so sorry, dude.
I’m terrible with people’s names. I have a bro at my gym that I had to ask his name the second time. It’s not bad at all, as long as you remember his name the next time. Maybe you could ask for his social media to get his name?
The absolute worst. I end up going meme exercises on some shitty machines while I wait for the benches to open up.
I probably shouldn't crack up so loudly as I do, cause I do hard belly laughs after seeing anything that gives me the giggles but seeing that shit would just be too funny
Holy frick lmao thank you for sharing this. I did exactly the same thing when I saw my neighbour a couple weeks ago aaaaaa
hahahahahahahahah
best one so far
not a gym story but
>the last time I was really really high I was in my apartment (live alone)
>dancing around in the living room chanting "I am gonna coo - oom, I am gonna coo - ooom" because it was really funny to me
>laughing really hard, giving myself a constant headache and lightheadedness from wheezing laughter constantly
>All of a sudden hear laughter from the hallway
>I stop and basically throw myself to the floor and a wave of shame and fear creeps up over me
>the good trip turned into a bad trip in 0.00000001 seconds.
>Got over it in a few minutes and then found the whole thing funny again
I started talking to myself on a medium dose of acid once full volume, saying the thoughts going through my head laughing while living with 3 other guys I barely knew in the next 2 rooms over.
Fricking hell man, thanks for the laugh.
>stoned to the BONE
nice, I usuallly go 2 h after smoking so I'm not ZOOTED out of my mind
lost
Incredible stuff anon
>Some guy who was watching laughs at me
this was a climbing gym but still applies
>randomly start climbing with this asian guy, good dude and nice to talk to
>some other guy comes up and asks him something and then asks what our names are
>don’t quite catch the guy i was climbing witch’s name but he obviously heard mine
>seen him multiple times since and he’s always like “yo anon what’s up dude”
>haven’t got the balls to tell him i don’t know his name
this one isn’t really that bad but i still feel bad because he’s a nice guy and he’ll probably think im a dick for not knowing his name. im pretty sure it’s ming or something like that but it was so loud in the gym when he said it it just sounded like gibberish
thats happened to me at least 4 times in 2 different climbing gyms
hahaha once i had a lab partner for an entire semester and in week 3 of 12 i realized i didnt know his name. i spoke to a friend about it and decided to make it a challenge to never learn it. we went 12 weeks without ever finding out each others names, even outside of class if we randomly met
I know that feel, I talk with all the monitors at my gym and like 4 regulars yet I don't know a single name.
It's been a year already but sooner or later they'll find out.
I'm cool with a few people at gym too but I only remember the girls names
I've been small talking with a guy at the gym for years now and still don't know his name. I used to know it a few weeks in but then forgot it, now I'm too far in to ask his name
I had the same problem with a guy in my old gym, I would see him at least once a week and we would talk but I had no idea what his name was.
>Brought his gf to the gym one day and introduced her to me
>Can remember her name to this day but not his
>He dropped his wallet one day
>Found it and gave it to him
>Realized later I could have looked inside at his license to find out what his name was
He was a cool guy too.
I've got a similar one
>Go to mma gym for a while
>Have one dude I usually partner up with because we are similar enough size and skill
>one day forget his name but I have known him for a while so it is too awkward to ask at this point
>A year goes by with me referring to him as "dude" or "bro" until someone says his name
It was dimitri btw
I'm 38. Me and one friend from high school never asked each other for a name and simply called each other Josh. This went on for 2 decades. Only recently did I ask him what his real name is.
>be me
>go to gym at peak hours
>frick its crowded
>push day so i need a bench
>all taken ;-;
>idea
>go do pull day/leg day shit while waiting for bench to open
>benches open but immediately someone else takes it
>ffs
>ok ill just wait for next one
>repeat for like an hour
>literally spent 3 hour in the gym today just because i couldnt get a bench ffs
>probably looked autistic just wandering around and shit
>walk up to guy using the bench
>"hey man, how many sets do you have left"
>ask to work in
>do something easy very close to the bench if he's almost done
>expecting these literal autistes to fathom such a thing as asking to work in
Dude just ask to work in, if they say no just sit or stand next to them till they're done so no one else can bum your place. I just sit against a wall and check out their form till they're done.
just learn from what happened to me.
>Do some stuff at cable machine
>Guy approaches "how many have you left?"
>I say "about 5 sets, but just use it between my sets, no problems we will switch"
I do one set, go rest, in that time dude does his. Everyone happy. It's literally that easy.
Did the same shit today. Wanted to deadlift byt some guy was front squatting <1pl8 on the only deadlift platform instead of in either of the squat racks. Fricked around doing pull ups and shit until he finished. Didn't want to say anything because I'm visiting family, it isn't my home gym. Would have asked to deadlift between his sets but he had squat wedges set up in the middle of the platform, would have had to reset them every time and that would have been a pain for both of us.
Anyway I know I'm autistic but frick that guy. Squat in the rack.
>doing lat pulldowns
>after doing a set I let the bar pull me upwards a bit to decompress my spine
>bro stops me and asks what that's for
>get to talking and he's pretty chill
>we agree to hang out and I give him my facebook that I only use for messenger
>as I hand it to him I say you're not gay are you?
>N-no of course no bro
>never got that friend request
Well another night in I suppose
>you're not gay are you?
Sounds like you hate gays. Now, I'm sure you probably do, but when making the first impression that's a bad move
Should've said;
>are you gay?
>I got nothing against it but like just don't to lead you on, if you are.
I understand the benefits of discretion, but I'm just not looking for someone who might have any reason to roofie me, or hit on me. I also simply do not care if they think I'm anti-gay or not. I won't associate with the gays, simply, no amount of prudence would change my ways because it's just not a possibility I would entertain.
The point is he probably wasn't gay and was just looking to make freinds. If it's important to you to make freinds with people who dislike gay people then keep doing what you're doing.
Way too socially well-adjusted for this entire website.
You have these types of discussion all the time, right? In your head, of course. Fricking sperg.
i dont want to be friends with "people" who dont hate gays
>when you find out one of your bros goes to gay pride festivals
I'm gay and there's nothing you can do about it 🙂
people used to kill gays
just fyi
i mean people still do, but less openly
so he was gay?
I think that may be what was implied anon, but I’m not sure, I’m no expert
Or he doesn’t like homophobes.
I don't like the term homphobe, purely because people wrongly associate it with fear rather than hate. Phobias have, reasonably been associated with fear, but now unreasonably extended to cases where aversion is better suited. Like hydrophobia, for example, so stuff like this really ruffles my feathers.
Same reason I don't like the term holocaust. It refers only to the israelites that were killed during that time, and even assuming 7 million israelites were killed the remaining 5 million non-jews massacred during that time deserve more respect than to be remembered as a side note the murdered semites.
The only reason you would hate is because of fear. I’m sorry you’re too dumb to know.
>You only hate conservatism because you fear it
>You only hate abortion because you fear it
>You only hate incest because you fear it
I'm sorry you're too dumb to know
I don’t hate any of those things. I understand why they happen which leads me to sympathize. Have you ever heard of that word?
I was about to follow up but then I came across this thread
of a guy fricking a horse and the spirit has been taken from me to continue our back and forth. Forgive me, anon, but I'm done with the trolling for tonight. Farewell, friend.
>I'm afraid of the line at the DMV
>I'm afraid of the new Star Wars movies
>I'm afraid of shitty controls for video games
>I'm afraid of the guy that leaves weights on the ground
I'm not afraid of any of these, I just hate them.
have a nice day homosexual
Hate is from the same place as love. Comes from the heart chakra. Fear is the root chakra. They are not the same.
disgust has nothing to do with fear
the mere thought of man stubble rushing against man stubble disgusts me
It's like watching a person eat their own shit
it's gross
what's that have to do with fear?
ya, I fear that you're a homosexual
No probably he just forgot (I'm an expert)
Just ask them if you look like you’re just enjoying waiting for them to finish.
frickin hell
The real autism is not realizing that asking "You're not gay are you" after giving someone your contact information has the same energy as some guy asking a girl "You're not single are you".
He probably didn't respond because he thought you were gay. You ask if someone is gay before giving them your information because the implication is that it's a dealbreaker. Giving someone your information and then asking sounds like you are hitting on them coyly.
The intonation of someone asking if you're gay disapprovingly or hopefully would seem pretty obvious
You are treating an autist as if they have control over their intonations. I can almost guarantee you he like most autists asks questions in a flat tone and it's up to the person they are interacting with to figure out what they are actually getting at.
It's one of the biggest problems that autists tend to have. They don't intone shit. You can read their general emotions for signs but the actual tone of their voice is flat. If an autist is having a friendly conversation and asks a serious question only he knows its serious because his tone is exactly the same as when he was talking about Godzilla fighting Superman four minutes ago.
based
nothing wrong with hating gays
and nothing wrong with letting other people know you hate gays
i don't want to be friends with people who are okay with gays
but i do want to be friends with people who also hate gays
it's okay to not be friends with everyone
the real autism is this take
what a moronic take lmao
I don't have a gym one but I have a military PT one
>Doing some bullshit military body cardio routine
>PTI is walking around helping people
>We're doing squats, just after doing pushups
>PTI walks past me and remarks that my form is good
>I say "thanks I do them in the shower every day"
>PTI thinks I meant pushups
>Is visibily confused
>Say nah I mean I do squats in the shower in the morning, like somehow that is better
>PTI just say ok good work and walks off
I started doing it when I was /fat/ and had gut problems, as squatting aligns the bowels and helps everything flow good.
I am dangerously autistic and should not be allowed to leave the house but thankfully half the military is as well so I get away with it.
Pic related cause this is the first google search result that came up and I happen to know the PTI in the picture.
>dangerously autistic
Sounds like FA
God I hate raafies
If it helps I am not one
>That pic
ChairforceBlack folk never shed a single drop of sweat in their lives
Frick yo airBlack person
I bought a gym membership a year ago to get out of the house to lift occasionally instead of in my basement
I log on last week and check how many times I've gone
Mfw 3 times
bump
>Be me, have been working out for about 7month
>It's my first gym ever
>One morning, I was in middle of a session
> some hot girl walks in kinda skinnyfat but 9/10 face, you can tell she's gonna start working out for the first time in her life
>Asks "how is this gym?"
>*Wheeeze hufff huff* *deep breathe huff huff wheeeze*
>Ask her "What?", Even though I heard her the first time
>Is this gym good? How long have you been working out here?
>* Wheeze huff puff wheeze deep breathe*
>Yes is good.
>Put my headphones back on and go back to my routine
I don't know why I said and did the things I did, I guess my brain stopped working because it got overloaded or something
>I don't know why I said and did the things I did, I guess my brain stopped working because it got overloaded or something
Your brain is too busy recruiting all the muscle fibers it can, it doesn't have time for roasties asking moronic questions.
what difference does it make? not like you were gunna woo a 10 with an answer to a simple small talk question while working out
protip: talk casual to girls
Seeing these stories makes me happy knowing I'm not the only autist in the world
I can feel these feels
>Be me, go to the gym in the middle of the day on july 4th
>Zoomers everywhere
>Manage to get through most of my leg day without waiting cuz zoomers don't train legs
>finishing up with standing calf raise
>machine was loaded tf up so I started taking plates off
>zoomer approaches maybe 16 yo , scrawny
>"Ay bro I was just about to use that"
>I tell him lets work in
>we both do a set with 4pl8, he goes for a second
>Zoomer looks at me
>"You wanna add more weight?"
>"Frick it, worst case scenario I can't walk tomorrow"
>Add 2 more pl8 and grind it out
>Zoomer take off the 2 extra plates
>buffering...
>Umirin.jpg
>Continue working in with 4pl8 and 6pl8 respectively
>"Thanks bud" and leave
>You wanna add more weight
>add 2 more pl8s
>zoomer takes off 2 pl8s
>buffering...
you know 4pl8 isnt 4 total plates on the bar, right?
There is no bar on a calf machine. DYEL?
Lol you don't know how plates work bro
Who's the chick, OP?
She's cute as frick
Not Op, but Miki Matsubara I think. Not 100% sure though - all dragon ladies kinda look the same to me
Whenever I see a person I kinda know or wanna impress I do this really moronic thing:
>finish my set
>walk to where I have to go, person I know or that I want to impress stands there
>doesn't look at me yet
>change into a ''crazy guy''
>widen my eyes
>twitch my right eye
>make noises like there's slime in my throat
>move my jaw around like I did cocaine
>drink an excessive amount of water with water dripping out as I lean with my back to the ground, my head to the roof and my bottle straight to the moon
>walk around broadly
>see them, say ''hi'' and walk to where I have to go
I don't know why I do this and it's weird af, I bet everyone at the gym thinks I'm some autistic junkie who takes cocaine before the gym
How would this impress them in any conceivable way?
i dont know, maybe it makes them think I am cool
I kind of do the same thing but instead of all that I kind of just bare my teeth instead of learning proper breath control so I just grind through every heavy rep. I also grunt occasionally
>working out with friend at uni gym
>new to gym, asked for help to get fitter
>leg day, showing her how to do squats
>she hits her weight, not bad, good form all that jazz
>load up my weight
>each rep, my face is struggling and I keep being audible, but not obnoxiously loud, to keep me going
>quoting Ronnie Coleman and grunting
>go to rerack
>as the weight is lifted off me I make a face of satisfaction and go "Juicyyyy"
>look back at friend
>she's looking past me
>see she's looking at the weight on one side
>no wait, behind that
>couldn't see her, view was blocked by the weights
>woman standing there meekishly the whole time I was squatting, clearly looking at me like I'm deranged
>"...is anyone using the [squat rack] next to you?"
Kek, worse for me anon
>hit a pretty good deadlift
>qt with nice breasts comes over with big smile and gives me a thumbs up
>I get embarrassed and turn away
Thank god I met my girlfriend. Once I get past the initial stage I’m actually pretty good socially and my pp is big but damn if I’m not hopeless in the initial stages
Not at the gym but exercise related
>Be office job
>Need to go to logistics to ask inventory girl about something
>Solid 4/10, arrogant butter face
>Walk into her office and she's literally got one of those portable pussy stretcher abductor machines
>Start talking to her and she continues looking at me and doing reps
>Extremely uncomfortable, mutter "that's my favorite exercise"
>She gives me a disgusted look and ten minutes later reports me to my supervisor for sexual harassment
>My entire section of men except for one dude all agree I was in the wrong and being unprofessional
I don’t understand what the harassment is. Are you very ugly anon?
I'm not even ugly , honestly I'm above average, she was just a b***h I think.
You should have reported her back for doing pussy flies in your face? How moronic can you be? Does the shithole you work at have cameras?
Bro wut, that’s so bad that no one else backed you up, what kind of absouletly cucked men do you work with?
1. It would be easy to argue it’s not “sexual” as you didn’t mean it that way, and
2. Even if it was harassment cause “the intent doesn’t matter, how it’s perceived does” and bullshit like that, you could argue that you didn’t know and it was meant to be a joke.
Any follow up to this, did that lead to disciplinary action? This is the kind of shit that gets me worried about working in any corporate office job
Yeah those guys were mostly a bunch of gays and I think they were just afraid of backing me in order to cover their own asses. Thankfully I wasn't formally reprimanded or disciplined but it was certainly eye opening to see this group of men turn into complete pussies at the drop of a hat. I agree with you on your arguments , but I think you and I both know that logical arguments don't mesh well with sexual harassment nonsense , and the girl is always right. I found a much better company now so I'm not even bitter
Oh ok so it’s a larp.
I don't follow you
Nah, didn't even want to escalate after no formal counseling took place, I was TDY making great per diem and didn't want any trouble
>one of those portable pussy stretcher abductor machines
Oh ya, one of those...
what's is that?
Wouldn't it be an ADDuctor exerciser. The sorta hinged ones you squeeze between your legs?
Only way i see people doing any sort of portable ABDuctor exercise is bands, but you wouldn't call them a machine.
Kek my coworkers flick each others dicks and no one gives a shit
>doing incline bench on the only fixed bench in the gym
>some guy comes over to use it after I was finishing up
>tell him to wait a second while I wipe it down
>he says something but I can't hear him over my music
>start cleaning off the bench
>he yells "NO don't do that"
I still have no idea why
Probably used ur sweat as some sort of smelling salt
>be me
>powershitter
>trying a new gym
>pleb tier shit kit only has olybars, bumper plates
>stock spring collars mostly loose fitting no grip
>spotter arms removed entirely from the bench, not anywhere to be seen
>programmed dropsets for squats first
>warmup sets everything fine everything k, 5s up to 160kg
>olybars spring much more than I remembered
>rack up 182.5
>unrack
>one collar remembers it left the oven on and shoots across the room
>every single plate falls off both sides of the bar
>rerack now empty bar
guess not, maybe lets try deadlifts
same plan, dropset
>new collars seem much tighter
>everything going good, 5s up to 180
>load 200
>hit it, noice
>standing in the corner picking a new song, check messages, standing there for maybe a minute
>some guy walks up and asks "are you ok?"
>"yeah im fine just doing deadlifts"
>"i think you passed out"
>"nah im fine just doing deadlifts" (actually repeated it)
>"you're bleeding"
>blood all over the platform
>blood all over my headphones which are now around my neck (previously on my head)
>tell him i dont remember falling down
>"how many sets you got left?" mfw pic rel
>packed up my plates, went to the locker room and spotted the massive split in my chin that was dripping blood
I must have absolutely decked it because I had a pretty bad concussion, none of the staff stopped me from walking out and I refused to go to ER because frick the NHS, concussion didnt set in for a few hours
Did he actually ask how many sets left? What's he going to do work in on the blood stained rack?
Is the NHS really that bad? Stories?
thats fricking badass
leena btfo. based malfunctioning robot anon
I don't know what you think a concussion is but from your story you were concussed immediately. Hope you're OK.
So when did you pass out
>leaving gym
>see cutie walking my way
>she looking hard at me
>take my earbuds out
>she smiles
>Autism engage
>Her: "I love your shirt, that's my favorite band
>Me: "Yeah, thanks me too"
>Her: "My name is "Leena"
>Me: "Thanks, Thanks, thanks"
>Her:....
>Walks away in shame
Hahahaha holy shit
I laughed, thanks anon
lmao dude she actually tried and you blew her out
It is because you have elevated women in your mind to be this magical thing better than you. Women are just people. Talk to women like you would a child and you will be golden.
What would normal people say here?
Your name
I think the real hiccup is the "Thanks, Thanks, Thanks."
Instead of that abomination of the English language, I would probably say "Oh nice to meet you, Im Anon."
Then, because we are meeting at the gym, I might offer to workout together, which I would say right after introducing myself (aka, saying my name) and it would look like: "Anyway, do you want to workout together some time?"
However, working out together may not be the best practice for you because (and i personally relate to this) you probably want to be able to focus on your lifts instead of dealing with women when lifting. In that case, you can offer something different like getting coffee or food elsewhere: "Anyway, do you want to get coffee this Saturday?" or something like that. Better yet, I personally (without personal experience) believe it might also be better to say something like "Hey we should get XYZ this Saturday." Rather than asking it as a question, and instead asserting it.
>Then, because we are meeting at the gym, I might offer to workout together, which I would say right after introducing myself (aka, saying my name) and it would look like: "Anyway, do you want to workout together some time?"
>Anonymous 07/09/22(Sat)08:40:15 No.67510822▶
>File: 8fd.png (262 KB, 600x685)
>>
No but really I think you're a bot unless you can tell me whats wrong with it.
>Then, because we are meeting at the gym, I might offer to workout together, which I would say right after introducing myself (aka, saying my name) and it would look like: "Anyway, do you want to workout together some time?"
lmfao don't do this
>working out with someone else: shit
>working out with a woman: why even bother
Autist of the week.
imagine how depressed Leena was at that moment in time. years and years of being put into a pedestal only to be shut down by an awkward gymcel. kek
>hey anon how did you get so strong?
>thanks I don’t know
I have a really funny autism story
>freshman year of college
>go to gym with roommate who basically begged me to go
>i had no clue what to do and was emaciated so i couldnt lift any weight
>if i remember correctly i believe i was there in a t shirt and jeans
>remember seeing all the fit guys and hot girls and nearly had a panic attack from how pathetic i felt and ran out of there
>back at the dorm
>roommate making fun of how weak i was to a group of people there, he gets my attention, i basically just have to joke and self-deprecate to cope
>over 10 years later, havent gone into a gym since because especially now as im almost 30, i cannot even begin to comprehend the level of utter humiliation i will face being this age, as weak and completely emaciated as i still am
im sorry bros
I’m genuinely curious what you’re doing on this board kek
Bro get the frick in the gym and stop comparing yourself to others
Started at 29. Best decision I ever made.
No one cares, plus in 6 months you'll be at decent levels if you do a routine, count protons and get sleep while avoiding alcohol
>The best time to plant a tree was a decade ago. The second best is now
count your protons boys
Are my electrons supposed to be higher than my protons?
electrons don't matter just worry about protons and quarks.
I've been just as weak as you or more but no one made fun of that, haven't been to the gym in years but it was pretty chill place when I did (around 10 years ago). Barely any women in the weights section and everyone entering would make a round to greet others in with this bro shake. Trainers, sport players, bunch of local hooligans without necks and among them me, a pathetic high school boy doing a 30kg bench press. No one gave a frick unless you what you were going to do would hurt yourself or your form was terrible.
But my friend who has visited a lot of gyms said it just depends on the place and its customs, also much more women now.
why are you on IST?
Noone gives a frick about you bro and i mean that in a good way
>t. one of the people intentionally bitterly giving out terrible advice here on IST, probably
your problem isn't a weak body, I'm afraid
Consider taking the home gym pill. I bought some basic weights until I had enough confidence to go to my local gym
heres a good autism story
>30 years old
>very fit
>no friends, khv, severe depression, severe anxiety, barely even speak to people anywhere, literally afraid to talk to people
>people try to ask me fitness tips in gym and i just give curt answers and sometimes get red-faced and they leave
>girls try to make conversation with me and i try to make a joke and they get offended and leave
>at regular gym
>one day see a regular gym thot show up with a friend
>super cute light skinned latina with a nice body
>don't care about any of that as I immediately love her smile and she's always smiling
>friend becomes a regular as well
>notice she deadlifts and actually does some decent weight
>notice she also uses paper towels to grab the bar like I do and we're the only ones who do it so think she saw me do it and copied me feel cool afterwards
>notice throughout the weeks we would look at each other
>finally one day notice she's waiting for me to finish using the deadlift platform as there is only one
>finish up and tell her to which she immediately smiles and goes to the platform and starts setting her stuff down and setting up
>i brought a bench over behind the platform to sit and am sitting down getting my stuff
>look up and her ass is in my face as she's already warming up with the bar
>completely taken back and we catch each others eyes in the mirror
>stand up and see she has the paper towels in her hand so blurt out 'have you ever tried straps?'
>she turns around passes me within an inch of each other touching the other and shakes her head no while not even looking at me before she beelines it to the girls lockerroom
>feel completely embarrassed as people are staring at me and I just got blown off so blatantly
>go completely red and hot and move to the other end of the gym to hide basically
>afterwards notice her constantly staring at me to the point if she was working out with her friend she'd put her back to the wall and her body towards me and look constantly towards my direction
>feel embarrassed every time now thinking she's making sure I don't walk up to her
You thick-skulled frick. She likes you.
maybe she was thinking strap-ons
bru just talk to her are you moronic???
>finish up and tell her to which she immediately smiles and goes to the platform and starts setting her stuff down and setting up
>i brought a bench over behind the platform to sit and am sitting down getting my stuff
Jfc how much "stuff" do you people bring?
>Be at the gym Saturday morning with chadbro
>Finishing my set of incline chest presses to meet him at the flat bench he saved us
>homosexualass boomer tunes on as always
>Thinking: “Man, I should really invest in a set of headpho—
>WAIT, WHAT THE FRICK IS THAT?”
>All of the sudden I hear the intro to Midnight Pretenders by Tomoko Aran
>Vid related: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ-fuYZnVCE
>Can barely believe what I’m hearing
>Think I’m hallucinating from the set
>Listen a bit more
>It really is the very long intro to Midnight Pretenders, one of my favorite songs
>Start to think someone at the front desk, probably the little Asian girl, put a citypop channel on since it’s the weekend
>Let out a loud AWW YEAAAAH! while smiling and fist pumping
>Some guy looks over at me, probably multiple guys
>Realize what I just did and laugh it off while walking over laughing to my friend, happy as can be
>Gonna murder this next se—
>Suddenly vocals
>It’s not Midnight Pretenders.
>It’s the fricking Weekend.
>Vid related 2: Electric Boogaloo
>Nearly fall over myself facepalming in absolute despair.
>Look like such an butthole gayging out over the Black person Weekend
Black folk, specifically Black folk, who plagiarize good music and call it “sampling” or “covering” while putting their own shit vocals overtop of something good should be flayed alive and hung. I HATE this shit. I hated when Kanye ruined Daft Punk years ago, and I hate this. It is so goddamn cruel to the artists. We call it theft when the Chinese do it, and “sampling” when Black folk do it. I hate Black folk.
frick the weekend
>frick the weekend
He's not that bad
That one song he did with Daft Punk was pretty ok, although that's probably because it's fricking Daft Punk
Lol, this is pretty funny
Why can't Black folk make their own music? Gotta steal from the based nips
I actually don't mind that weeknd song. Original tomoko aran is far superior, obviously.
Hey this Japanese city pop is comfy, thanks for the recc anon
Kanye unironically did nothing wrong
He rapped over Daft Punk— It was not a fricking improvement, unless you’re some homosexual zoomzoom that ejaculates every time a Black person rapes our earholes by speaking over another person’s music. JESUS IS KING was good, and I think Kanye is sometimes based. That said, he’s a plagiarist eternally sponging off the success of others, and his abortion of a rap track that was “Stronger” holds ZERO merit. Go frick yourself.
Yes and yes. Piracy is one thing, but I hate plagiarism, as well as censorship, revisionism, trannies, music israelites, etc...
drop dead philistine moron
>AY YO YO
>ANY GIRL AH CHEETED ON
>SHEETZ A SKEETED ON—
>what? Someone doesn’t like my monkey jams? drop dead philistine moron
Are you mad at china for plagiarizing and making money?
Are you mad at Black folk making money?
Life is more comfy the more you can enjoy things anon 🙂
Man I can't imagine letting something so benign and pointless bother me that much. Being racist and hating rap music sounds exhausting
You will own nothing and be happy.
Not just material, but cultural and mystical.
You will realize the effect of your ways in about one or two centuries.
I love how relatable these autism threads are.
Not an autist story but something really weird happened lately
>sitting on the bench in between sets doin bp
>some really buff Arab dude enters the free weight room, spots me and looks really happy
>comes over
>”Hey Sahmi man, long time no see, how are you doing?”
>I’m an average looking white dude???
>holds his hand out for a fist bump
>utterly bewildered, I bump and think maybe I misheard something (dude was basically mumbling)
>”yeah everything’s fine, how are you doing mate?”
>”good good”
>immediately turns around and starts doing 5 plate dls without warming up
I mean he was nice I guess but I think he may have been on psychedelics or some shit
I've had two older ladies in my gym greet me like they knew me and ask how I'd been. I just went along with it to be nice.
>do hipthrusts yesterday, be femoid
>during second or third set, one of the biggest guys in the gym sets up weighted dips next to me
>see him dipping like 3plaet in my peripheral vision, try not to mire too obviously
>get to 240lbs on last set for my HTs
>have a folded up yoga mat on my thighs as padding
>can't pull the bar vigorously enough to roll it over the padding
>he sees me struggle and comes over
>'do you need help placing that on your thighs?
>'huh?'
>repeats
>so nervous I can't really talk
>'middle of thighs?'
>still can't talk, vaguely nod
>he deadlifts the bar onto me, saying 'oh but this is heavy'
>don't know whether this was a joke or not, don't know what to say
>he's bending over to me and so close I can smell him, both extremely sweaty, basically coital position
>stammer 'thanks', immediately put headphones back on and finish set
>awkwardly tidy up weights and leave section quickly
does this mean he finds me attractive? or is he just nice? aaaa
Sounds like a nice enough guy and maybe
>posting this again
bro I'm on the spectrum and I find this guy attractive but I don't know what this interaction signals
just put your ass in his face
probably funny joke but in case it's real: There's no way to know if he likes you, he might have just helped you out because you looked like you needed help.
Just meet eyes next time you see him and smile, he'll do the rest if he's not autistic and likes you. Or you could find an excuse to talk to him like working in on the same machine.
>he'll do the rest if he's not autistic and likes you
i don't unless i'm staying around for longer as i'm not going to bother smiling at someone i won't be seeing again (and this doesn't mean i don't like them back)
thanks. am definitely too shy to talk to him/work in (he does crazy heavy lifts anyways) but I will try to go during the times he goes and smile at him
youre lame
>be femoid
ywnbaw bro sorry
if I was a troony I probably wouldn't need help pulling 240 over my thighs
injecting estrogen makes you weak homosexual who would have though
that's what they want you to believe so you don't think they're a menace to women when they are
mainlining estro is not gonna erase the diff in base skeletal muscle, frame, etc
>go in today just to see him again, same time as always
>decide to do arms even though it's rest day
>he's not there
>bunch of 15 year old boys hogging the cable machines
>fail last week's BP weight
stop posting ur gay fantasies homosexual
https://voca.ro/16YKgmDZUBMK
You're halfway there, now show breasts.
nice your voice almost passes keep going for it bro
breasts with timestamp or get the frick off.
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
Post ass and thighs and abs please
S O M A L I A
O
M
A
L
I
A
>femoid
Stopped reading there, go gather attention somewhere else homosexual
Trainer once told me to never use the clips to hold the weights on when doing bench press alone, so you can slide the weights off if you get into trouble.
>be dumb one day and decide to to bench press right after military press
>can't do my normal weight for some reason, keep trying any way
>get stuck, can't lift the bar up
>by myself
>slide weights off one side of the bar
>random dude runs over and pulls the bar off me puts back onto the rack
>walks away before I can even say anything
>I looked like a dumbass
Ah shit I had an experience just like this
>In uni gym
>Tryna Ohp 135 lbs but doing it in the bench half rack rather than full rack
>Lift it up, plates hits weird shit at top of the rack
>Immediately damn near lock out my arms, bar tilts over and 1 plate falls off from basically 8ft off the ground
>Other one follows soon after
>Cute latina gym manager starts looking at me all concerned, prolly thinks I'm dyel
Tbh what sorta poorly designed rack doesn't let you ohp in it?
We have those at my gym. Annoying. The shorter they are the cheaper they are, I guess
>girl taking selfie right as I walk past her
>glance in her direction
>i have a resting angry face so it just looks like I’m thinking about killing her
>she probably posted it
Why the frick do people take pictures at the gym?
Frick
Bro you are lowkey hoping the girl posts it
>looking for the 2.5lbs plates
>only 4 in the whole gym
>been looking for 5 minutes
>see one on a bench behind a bunch of 5s and 10s
>fricking finally
>bench is being used by a giant black trainer and his trainee
>"hey, can I take that 2.5?"
>hear the trainee mumble a yes
>he starts helping me remove the 5s and 10s
>giant black trainer towers over me
>"ayo we're using dat"
>already have the 2.5 in my hand, so I just turn around and leave
>black guy huffs and puffs
>start my set within earshot
>"i can't believe dat shit. you don't go up to someone's bench and start taking shit"
>black guy is staring at me through my entire set
>I finish and put the weight back
>"uh, thanks"
>black trainer scowls at me every time he sees me now
>this has been going on for 2 months
From now on, every time you see him work out or train others, just steal his weights.
Ultimate mog
call the cops on him
Who's the cutie, OP?
Sometimes when im out running for cardio. I struggle to get the last extra laps SO in my mind i pretend that we are in pre-historic times during the time the meteor hit and i am an very ancient dinosaur whos running trying to find family and protecting them. Then i make this small owl sound but in my mind its an ancient dino brul. Anyway a girl heard it and idk i might seem insane now
yeah you sound insane even after explaining yourself
>listening to Battle Beast with the windows down
>one arm turn perfectly into parking spot
>get out, I'm 6'5" but autist
>woman parks behind me
>I'm walking away
>she calls out
>"hey nice parking job that was smooth!"
>I automatically assume she's being a passive aggressive b***h because nobody is ever nice to eachother in a parking lot
>I kinda stop half-turned and just look at her for probably way too long silently
>"you have a problem?"
>she keeps smiling
>" n-no I actually think that was pretty badass"
>I struggle internally
>is she actually nice?
>is she actually this amazing at sarcasm?
>I can't fricking tell!
>I've been silent way too long again
>say "okay" and just walk away
>ignore eachother in the gym
So she was probably flirting with me but I thought she was seething about a parking spot.
I'm never gonna make it.
Are you sure you're autistic? Wouldn't an autist think she was being totally literal?
Let me guess, you heard that autistic people take everything literally... and you took it literally.
Well boy, do I have some bad news for you.
(truth is autistic people read social situations like a computer programme. "If X equals Y, then Z." You build up a set of pre-programmed cues in your head to bring out in case you ever get in a similar spot to the situation that made you consider the possibility it might happen in the first place. Of course, you only have cues for things you've thought about, so it's easier to just read the room. So you can see the problem.)
>be me
>doing deadlifts
>qt occasionally glances my direction, not used to femoid attention so i ignore and assume not for me
>finish set she walks up to me
>“Anon you have very large hands”
This is true i have absurdly large hands.
>dont really know how to respond so just say “Yea”
>”I bet you can grab alot with those”
My confused autism kicks in and i say “yea” again.
>she turns her ass towards me so i can see it better and says “could be very usefull in certain situations.”
>i respond “yea sometimes but whenever i hold my dick it looks very small.”
>she just stares and walks away.
>i realize what i said and go home
Wagmi guys, someday i will cure my communication with the other 50% of the planet.
Worst thing is my dick isnt even small, 17cm but dear god fml
WAGMI
You could not have said anything more autistic, even if you had full blown autism, like the kind where you can barely say words.
lmfao
>I went to the gym for 2.5 years
>had some almost friends there
>during our conversations in the past, I mentioned that I was about to take an entrance exam for my country's aeronautical school
>the date arrives, the test takes place, a week passes
>unexpectedly an almost friend of mine asks me how I did in that test
>I passed, I was admitted
>a girl who had been looking at me for months listened to the conversation
>From the blue she approaches and starts a dialogue
>my brain stops working
>She says "wow anon, that's cool! It's a very competitive test, good luck there!"
>I look at her brainsystemcrash.jpg
>I say "Good luck for you too"
..... I wanna die
>Girl at gym who never talked to me before
>Overhears that I am on the path to a prestigious job that will pay a lot of money
>She suddenly is interested in me
You did the right thing. Love from the first country to launch somebody to space.
>Kazakhstan
Your women are incredibly hot.
>finish with equipment
>get sanitary wipes
>clean the wrong piece of equipment
>stare into the void and scream internally
>start going to gym last year
>one of the staff members seemed excited when I signed up since I was clearly new to lifting
>very cool dude, always says hi to me and chats with me when he's lifting too
>knows my name since he signed me up and can see it on their system
>realized it's been months and I still never asked him his name
What do bros? I feel like it would be toxic at this point to finally ask for his name, but it would be awkward to keep talking to him and not know it too
>toxic
Better ask for pronouns too.
when i started lifting i once fell over when trying to squat
>quite a few years ago
>a few of my mates are at the gym (i'm not there this day but they told about it the next day)
>we often tease our shy but jacked mate
>the rest of us are dyel and he's ripped and got us all going to the gym but it's funny to joke with him about sex stuff because he gets shy
>also have extremely lecherous mate who gets obsessed with some woman in each place we go and turns them into a group meme we all joke about
>he gets us all obsessed with this one extremely fit PT woman who's always there, constantly talks and jokes about her
>PT woman is doing some kneeling ab exercise by crunching forward with cable machine
>lecher says to jacked/shy "what does it look like she's doing there, (name)?"
>jacked/shy nervously stammers "it's looks like she's giving a blowjob"
>as soon as he starts speaking, the loud gym music stops for some reason and there is complete silence, no one else talking
>because he was trying to talk over the music, he pretty much shouts it through the whole room
>everyone hears him including her and there is just a silent stare from that entire section of the gym until the music starts up again
>mates piss themselves laughing at him while he blushes and probably considers suicide
>he sees her talking to this 40 odd year old fricking massive stedhead guy who was always there we called 'american flag pants guy' later on
>he's terrified and always avoids american flag pants guy after that because he's scared she told him and he's gonna kick off about it
lmfao
>finally decide to go to the gym
>Have been hyping myself up for days
>Watching tutorial vids so I don't embarrass myself
>Enter the gym and go to the locker room
>Change clothes
>Get more nervous
>Nervous shits
>Get back to the locker room bench
>Sit on the bench for an hour trying to hype myself up so I can go inside
>Same guy that was in there when I was changing comes back in to change back
>Think it would be weird if I was still just sitting there
>Change back in normal clothes
>Go home
>Never go back
I done this at three different places and I think I'll just stick with the home gym, lifting can't fix autism
Why don't you just skip the 'hyping' (overthinking) part and try just going in? Maybe turn up in your gym clothes and just lift without the locker room breakdown you keep having. Also why aren't you going back to the same one? Do you actually think a single person there remembers you?
I know they don't remember me that's just paranoia, but i do the same for groceries.
I have a system so I never go to the same store once a month.
It has improved a but I do regularly swim but I do that in the very early morning when it's just old people
>finally decide to go to the gym
>Have been hyping myself up for days
>Watching tutorial vids so I don't embarrass myself
>....
>Never go back
There is no substitute for actual hands-on experience anon, you must go back
I really want to go with a friend so that I have a reason to commit but most of my friends are fat weebs or emo chicks so nobody goes or want to go to the gym I'm the only one who's in shape
you cant outlift the autism
>one day certain qt joins the gym
>cute face, amazing body, has great form on lifts and tries hard
>make it my goal to talk to her
>eventually do chat her up
>ask her name and introduce myself
>she seems to not mind, and compliments my lifts too
>wtf i didnt expect that to happen
>anyways, wish her good workout and frick off
>see her here and there, chat a bit
>want to ask her out
>coof hits and gyms suddenly close
>dont see her for entire coof lockdown period
>she comes back
>still smiles and recognizes me
>but i creep her away and she is clearly not interesed
>one day i see her arriving the gym with her boyfriend
its over my dudes
Plenty of fish in the sea
Gotta fish with more lines bud
My job made me go to UK once since I work in a serious company that does work all around the world
>at a particular gym in a town near Brighton, early hours, only a few people around
>since everyone but me and one pajeet work out using machines I take the liberty to take all the necessary equipment to the spot I picked
>a cute girl comes by while I'm working out
>wants to work in, I'm game
>just need to take the heavy plates off the bar for her every time we switch
>we start talking
>she starts some banter based on Polish people stereotypes since I'm Polish
>some jokes about us going out and drinking only vodka, me cooking pierogis for her, her hoping I won't steal her car one day
>I try to joke too
>"Well, I'm game if you are, just let me finish working out, I didn't exactly come here to talk about shoes and abortions haha"
>she looks at me weird and goes away
>won't even look at me anymore
No regrets though
It sucks when people can’t take it but they can dish it out
Don't feel too embarrassed about it but i'll tell it regardless.
>Mom makes her famous chilli
>Ground beef, beans, corn the whole nine yards
>I love mom's chilli
>Eat it exclusively for 2 days
>In the third day there is still around 2 pounds of it left
>I don't want my mom to get sad if it got spoiled
>Eat two pounds of chilli in one sitting
>Feel a massive surge of energy and power
>Hit the gym
>New one because it was cheaper and had less people to mog the machines
>Feel the chilli coming in the locker room
>Ohshit.jpeg
>I don't fart loudly when i take a shit but you can audibly hear the shit hitting the water in the whole room
>Trying to rush the whole thing because im scared someone might be in the locker room with me
>Take the fattest, smelliest shit of my life
>It smells like greenhouse gases, absolutely toxic
>Get up, sweating, and stand in awe of my shit
>Im proud
>The smell doesn't go away
>Get dressed
>Just as im about to leave the locker room, two dyels come in
>"WHAT THE FRICK IS THAT?"
>I stay silent
>"OH MY FRICKING GOD, IT'S SO DISGUSTING"
>Remain silent
>As im leaving i make eye contact with one of them
>His eyes are watery
>They widen in pure terror
>He knows
>I do not break eye contact
>He looks away
>Successfully hit my bench pr
>Go home
>Hug my mom and thank her for the chilli
I love you mom
bruh imagine opening your ice cream and there's a frog in there
>at local boxing gym with my trainer
>he has an amazon echo
>doing my skipping rope routines
>ask if I could put music on
>says yes
>connect phone tk Bluetooth speaker
>decide to play red sun from metal gear rising
Squat 160
Deadlift 260
People all stare at me while I do both likely because it's girl and children lifts.
I believe in you bro
Although your squat should prolly be a little closer to your DL
>be me
>consistently avoid eye contact with girls miring to prevent public humiliation
>finishing an circuit, top 4 abs popping
>sexy redhead next to me
>decide to take off shirt and bait a mire out of her to boost ego
>she mires, makes eye contact and smiles, goes to take earbud out
>completely avert gaze and speed walk away
>she gives me a weird look as I walk out of the locker room
Bros how do I stop being so fricking moronic and anxious around girls holy frick
It's autism bro, I have the same thing. I've got the biggest squat in my gym and after I finish a set I intentionally walk with my head down so nobody makes eye contact and compliments me.
>ask the gym receptionist what her name is
>she points her nametag
>I laugh it off and say oh I didn't see that
>she says no problem and wish me a good workout
>you too!
classic
>Plan to run on the treadmill
>They all are taken
>See gym cutie on the treadmill
>Ask her, mind if I work in?
>She screams NO at the top of her lungs
>Management tells me I am not allowed to talk to girls anymore
lmfao please tell me you just made that up
>new to gym
>go at 1-3am every night after work
>doing arms and back
>at one of those multi-use cable machines
>some guy and his gf using other side
>need straight bar for tricep pushdowns
>they're using it
>they sit down for a few minutes without doing anything
>nervous because I was still a fat loser back then
>ask if they're still using it
>guy snips back "yeah"
>say okay and go back to doing rows
>finger busts open for some reason
>start bleeding slightly on the v handle
>guy and his gf staring at me
>run to cleaning station and grab a paper towel
>wrap finger and then powerwalk out of gym and ride bike home
I unironically started my home gym after that and I'm glad I did tbh
I go to commercial gyms with friends sometimes and it's always fricking miserable waiting for squat racks (LA shitness only has 2 FRICKING SQUAT RACKS)
>stretches in curl rack for 30 minutes
>be me in hs
>fat as fatass
>that quiet tall kid with long hair, but well-mannered
>generally liked by everyone, could fit in any group, but not really a part of any except the nerds
>like a girl, she's a swimmer
>she likes me back
>when necessary would gladly sit next to me in class
>on valentine's, we "rolled" each other whom to get presents to (roll was obviously rigged)
>got her a potted plant...
>on a class holiday party girls gossip and shit
>*teehee* you like anon, don't you
>"yes no maybe"
never do anything about it, start lifting instead
>fast forward 3 years
>be fit, have a good haircut and actually dress decently
>go to a reunion
>arrive a little late, most are already there
>get attention left and right
>"wow anon, you've changed xoxo"
>"what's your routine, bro"
>grab a drink and settle down next to my crush
>she's a bombshell and our convo is going great
>has been abroad, studying
>she suddenly pulls out a sketch of herself a street artist made
>i blurt out: "that's a man"
>everybody go quiet
bros, how do we lift the autism away
>just me and some hot varbie at the gym
>avoid being near her when training cuz dont wanna creep her out
>look away when she's in front of me (hard when you squat)
frick bros im scared of women
>go to the gym
>slowly start developing small talk with cardio bunny
>she is basically mine now because she greets me back and gives me a smile
>take it slow because i dont want to rush this potential relationship
>2-3 months go by all i have to do now is ask her out
>shows up with gigachad bf that day
>no big deal it wasnt meant to be
>start looking for the next female to start saying hello and smiling to overcome my disappointment
>cycle keeps repeating
am i in limbo bros
>no big deal
>overcome my disappointment
cope lmao
>>2-3 months go by
you fricking moron
At least he's trying. After two centuries of feminism we're still waiting for the first woman out of a population of 4 billion to break programming and realize she's equally capable of making the first move.
>she is basically mine now because she greets me back and gives me a smile
bro....
>doing ohp today
>some qt redhead with enormously long hair walks up and does squats in rack next to me
>mfw her hair reaches way beyond her butt, and with a high ponytail mind you
>nice butt too
>at one point gather my marbles and ask her "is it difficult for you to exercise with hair this long"
>she smiles a bit and says its not a big deal with a pony
>i smile and say cool and go back to doing OHP
Damn, she was pretty cute and had nice cameltoe aswell.
you spanked the monkey furiously right after you got home didn't you?
why would he do that to his monkey friend?
monkeyboy is getting naughty. teaching it a lesson is vital.
And why would i do such naughty thing haha
>Britbong living in Germany for almost a decade
>barely speak a word of German because I'm not even convinced it's a real language but some kind of nonsensical cosmic joke
>join gym for first time in life
>using the only assisted pull up machine in the gym
>gym bro comes over and mumbles something at me in German
>look at him in hopeless confusion, unable to differentiate even a single syllable of his horrible meme language
>he instantly intuits I'm a Brit and asks in perfect English how many sets I have left
>tell him one more and he nods waits patiently til I'm done
>next time I'm in the gym at the same machine, a different gym bro comes over to me and mumbles something equally incoherent
>assume he's asking me how many sets I have left, so I give him a big smile and tell him three more – "Noch drei Sätze"
>he gives me a funny look and wanders off
>rinse-repeat for the next few weeks with different gym bros and gym thots
>visit /fit and see anons keep mentioning asking to "work in"
>Google the concept of "working in" and realize I've alienated the entire gym by basically telling them to frick off until I've finished my sets when they'd been politely asking me in German if they could work in
>now have intense paranoia that the whole gym thinks I'm a massive butthole all because of my inability to understand their vile language
German people are undoubtedly based. The world would be a better place if we were all german
.tt Indian
It would be if not for that war monger churchil
correct, the world would be a much better place if Hitler won
Britbong here. Just left Deutschland after 7 years. Sätze means "sentences" you fricking mong. Learn the language.
ffs What's German for "set" then? Probably some horrendous compound word with 67 letters.
Full nazi here. Sätze is correct. "Sets" and "sentences" are homonyms in german.
Just like a "date" (fruit) and "date" (rendezvous).
I bet you could make a gym pun with that... If you guys understood jokes that is
German Humor sehr gut, yes. Thank you a lot, mein Freund.
Maybe it's not a difference in definition but because a sentence is a set of words so they just call it a set.
In mathematics, a set is called "Menge". But since "Menge" also means "amount", it's kind of weird to use it.
That'd be like saying "I only have 2 amounts left" when saying that you have 2 sets left.
>tfw when you can't finish your last amount
How do you ask to "work in" in German?
Usually 'abwechseln' - taking turns
>Können wir uns abwechseln?
you seem like such a homosexual
>long time ago at old fairly posh/expensive gym (student discount)
>gym lockers need you to put a pound in before they lock
>don't have any pound coins, only a two quid/some shrapnel
>say to the guy next to me "do you have any pound coins you can swap for two quid? I don't have a pound for the locker."
>the guy is the typical type of scot we get in north england
>big, fat and bulky, middle aged and covered in shitty football team/thistle tattoos, wearing only his towel kilt
>he goes '"AYE, HERE YE'ARE", takes my two quid and give me one quid back
>gives me the moray eel look
>I say no, I meant two pound coins (since I was giving him two quid)
>He goes, fricking well loud, "OOOOOH YE'VE CHEENGED YER CHOON NOO YE'VE CHEENGED YER CHOON"
>packed out changing room (obviously, he's scottish) hear this and all start laughing
>I laugh politely and he gives me another quid
>lock up and get the frick out of there