>Be me. >At the grocery store. >Got 3 large 30 packs of eggs (90 eggs total), for the week

>Be me
>At the grocery store
>Got 3 large 30 packs of eggs (90 eggs total), for the week
>Standing at the cashier line
>Blonde milf in front of me, turns around and asks
>"Ok, I gotta ask... whats with all the eggs?"
>Just say "I eat a lot of eggs"

If I wasn't such a DYEL, would she even have asked?

Ape Out Shirt $21.68

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  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe she thought you'd be doing something like throwing them at houses or hard boiling, painting, then hiding them for an early easter hunt.
    Normal people don't eat 90 eggs in a week. Your farts must be rancid.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Your farts must be rancid.
      Hello fat person. Your digestive system adapts to the things you eat.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Your digestive system adapts to the things you eat
        Yea by making your farts smell a certain way... Whats next? Telling me your body will adapt to ingesting poison ivy?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Explain to me how you believe that is an adaptation

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Im not OP but how damn dumb are you to think the body would adapt the smell of it's own farts over time? Do you think natural selection killed all the smelliest farters?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          There are next to zero farts from eating animal products because of how well they digest.
          If you subsist entirely on milk (it's not a complete diet, but it works for a while) you will even stop generating shit, you will take a weird shit every 3 days which is basically dead colon lining or some bacteria, but that's it, the digestion is basically 100%.
          I was living on about 3-4l of milk for a few days as an experiment. Literal zero farts as far as I remember.

          Vegetables, especially stereotypically beans, now that is a fart generator.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's always hard to strike a balance when it comes to consuming animal vs. plant products. I had a scare with impacted stool as a teenager so I've always tried to consume fiber, but this is legit. Fiber as a concept makes no fricking sense to me, why do we need to eat things we can't digest so we can digest all the stuff we CAN digest???

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Just eat a balanced diet and stop taking advice from schizos

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, this is what I've opted for. Fiber is good for losing weight, anyhow. I just find it interesting how it's a necessary part of our diets even though nutritionally it is functionally useless.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                It’s not a necessary part of your diet you brainwashed vegan homosexual

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                >just eat the foiber goy
                >it's good for you

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            You are moronic and mentally ill

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Troll

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          I actually know outdoorsmen who do eat small quantities of poison ivy leaves in the belief that it makes them more resistant to getting P.I. rash. No idea if it works, but they're mostly old guys, so it at least hasn't killed them.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yes it actually does

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        We can all smell you lil bro.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I eat 15 raw eggs a day. That's 105 a week.

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >be OP
    >go to store, buy alotta eggs
    >wild-cougar-approaches.jpg
    >OP drops spaghetti

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Ok, I gotta ask... whats with a

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >If I wasn't such a DYEL, would she even have asked?
    yes, she was just curious why a single person is buying 90 frickin eggs. this isn't normal

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >be in my keto phase
    >buy a bunch of mozzarella and put it in my backpack
    >go to hairdresser
    >woman takes my backpack to hang up
    >she says it's heavy and asks what's in it
    >i just say "cheese"

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    "i have 89 girlfriends"
    don't elaborate

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >'Making up for the lack of them in your ovaries. Here's my number.'

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sauce on OP?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      incel coomer, have sex

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >sees a woman
      >sauce???

      Beyond repair

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Can you just tell me?

        incel coomer, have sex

        No, you

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          https://www.mtlblog.com/a-canadian-dietician-shared-tips-on-how-to-actually-grocery-shop-at-dollarama-video

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            God bless anon. She’s very pretty

    • 3 months ago
      As far as they will go but even farther

      Some random slav prostitute

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://www.abbeyskitchen.com

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Abbey Sharp, she used to be really hot believe it or not

      ?si=UmnXAGhwZqEbpL65

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'd still give her the ol in and out

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    She was hitting on you, brah. Should have asked offered to cook eggs for her

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      this is true. i was once buying two cupcakes for a cheat day and the cashier refused to believe it wasn't for my girlfriend. she then told me about how she was separating from her husband. read the signs OP

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      this
      or should have asked her to show you how to cook them

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I’d agree if there was more to the conversation, but the mental capacity of the majority of normies is easily overestimated
      >sub 100iq
      >no inner monologue
      >no minds eye
      >completely unable to consider things from the viewpoint of another person
      These people have to talk, otherwise they’re just staring into a terrifying thought void from which they can’t otherwise escape.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >These people have to talk, otherwise they’re just staring into a terrifying thought void from which they can’t otherwise escape.
        Sounds like a symptom of an inner monologue

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        you’re not the joker bro

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      should have offered to fertilize some of her eggs for her

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      that's flirting!? i know i'm legit autistic, but maybe i am moronic!
      so at work, an older woman who either works or rents at my work (work place is in a giant building that doubles for high end flats), says hi when she see's me and said she saw me at the gym (i don't make eye contact at gym, wear headphones and stare at my stopwatch in between sets).
      is that flirting?

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >(90 eggs total), for the week

    Enjoy your stroke. Why on earth are you morons promoting eatign that amount of eggs?

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >"What's with all the eggs?"
    >They're for you..

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      hehe

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    She was fiishing for an invite to come over for an omlette.
    You blew it, OP

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    ah, the classic TEADBOTOS (thirteen eggs a day but only twelve on sundays) diet

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I prefer DEAD (Dozen Eggs A Day)

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Damn that looks good

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah homie dead is what you’ll be if you keep eating all those eggs

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe she thought you'd be doing something like throwing them at houses or hard boiling, painting, then hiding them for an early easter hunt.
        Normal people don't eat 90 eggs in a week. Your farts must be rancid.

        When I started adding veggies(fried onion and carrot) to my daily 10 eggs omelette, the farts were gone.

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Requesting stories of fitbros hookups with milfs.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I've hooked up with around 15 milfs/gilfs. The first one:

      >milfs start finally matching with me on tinder
      >arrange to meet one at her house
      >small, slim, perky breasts, brunette, mid 40s
      >i was around 28 at the time
      >she tells me I'm actually a bit older than the guys she usually goes for
      >end up in the bedroom
      >finally got my head in between the legs of a milf
      >im fricking diamonds
      >she keeps saying "good boy, good boy!"
      >holy frick
      >end up banging her, she says the same thing
      >all i can think of is mommy fetish stuff
      >blow like an absolute motherfricker inside her
      >ghosts me, probably because I was bit inexperienced and also too old lel

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I hate ghosting culture
        Why dont you stalk her and rape her?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          I found a gilf a week or so later so I didn't give a frick anymore. Fricking other women is the best cure for rejection, aside from detachment.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          what do you mean? Her sending you a message like 'lol, you're bad in bed, I'm never going to interact with you again' would make you feel better?

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            its an incel don't bother trying to figure out their weird mental gymnastics

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        maybe she actually ghosted you because you are ugly, and you suck dick at eating pussy
        have you considered this?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          I said I was inexperienced back then in my post you stupid homosexual

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've gotten comments about how much beef I buy at the store (14 lbs for 1 week).

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      2 pounds a day, sounds about right. People need to learn how to mind their business.

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I would reply with "i'm practicing shoving eggs up my ass without cracking them. It's a homosexual thing you wouldn't get it."

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    she's hot sauce?

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >professor failed me
    >need to show him who’s boss
    >wink
    >leave

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >"I'm starting a chicken farm and figured this would be the cheapest way to grow my first few chickens"

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm making mother of all omelets Jack

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I want to beat the egg high score.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      O
      M
      G

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >would she even have asked?
    Yes because it was a way to break the ice and start a comfy conversation.

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    4680 eggs per year or 28080 grams of protein
    360 eggs per month or 2160 grams of protein
    90 eggs per week or 540 grams of protein
    13 eggs per day or 78 grams of protein
    4 eggs per meal or 24 grams of protein

  24. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You know Im kind of embarassed to say this, but Its a fetish, Makes me think Im eating pussy when I eat them scrambled with honey on top

  25. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I would have replied, I can crack YOUR eggs if you know what I mean.

  26. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    dear diary, things that never happened today

  27. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    12 eggs a day is insane

  28. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >why do you ask? do you feel threatened by someone who has way more eggs than you at this point in your life?

  29. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >not breaking out into song
    gay

  30. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >If I wasn't such a DYEL, would she even have asked?
    see youre larping you're a big boy eating all the eggs. you havent naturally grown into this need of eggs yet. she knew and btfo'd you right there on the spot. women are good at sniffing out larpers.

  31. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    "That's right b***h, you no longer have any."

  32. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >give me your number and maybe you'll find out

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      rizzler

  33. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You fricked up. The only way to meet women nowadays is if they approach you to strike up a conversation. That's a green light. Yeah, it may not work every time but you have a better chance than if you cold approached them.

  34. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Be me
    >beans are on sale, dishomieeatinbeans.jpg
    >eat the beans
    >fast forward 2 days later
    >1-and-a-half-year-old son starts telling everyone, "daddy toot!"

  35. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Based.
    I do 90 eggs called "checks" for $6 from local farm. They are "checked" because the AI sorting machine determines they are inferior for retail sale, but they're just fine.

  36. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    OP is an autistic sperg who's never heard of these guys who have been selling these for decades. And the pasturization kills the avianin(sp?)in raw eggs that prevent vitamin E absorbtion so these are far healthier and more convenient.

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