the lockets in my gym don't have mirrors, but the weight rooms have them, so if i ever want to see myself with a good pump i have to take my shirt in the weights room and pose like a douchebag
I keep getting addicted to Kratom and I’m tired of it. I’m about to go on a life changing trip in 2 weeks and still stuck taking this green powder everyday. Yet I know if I bring it on this trip and keep using it, it won’t be as enjoyable or fulfilling. Kratom does a great job at minimizing the bad parts of life, but it does the same thing for good things, leaving you as just this numbed shell of who you were. Tonight, im dumping the bag for the last time. Im putting this in writing, right here and right now, to hold myself accountable. Tonight, I will stop making excuses and dump the bag.
I take kratom everyday, bali gold, and I dont experience any numbing sensation emotionally. I use it before workouts and the pain suppression markedly increases my cardio endurance.
Was also a lifesaver when I was working 10 hour days in construction. Seems to help with my depression better than my lexapro does tb
Good looking out anon. I know why I do, its stupid, it’s a relapse to making bad decisions. I was feeling very down and didn’t catch myself in time. And I have to not entertain those intrusive thoughts when I’m down. I’ll be going to therapy in a couple of weeks for help with other things.
I'm over 30 and a complete and utter loser, and my lifetime of failure has made it so that I don't even care about improving because I cannot even comprehend what even a semi-normal life would look like. Instead I just rot and think about suicide.
Have you failed or have you even tried? I’m sure you still have goals right?
What are some things you would like to do?
If you’ve jacked to frotting multiple times you might as well give it a try.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I have before and I’m all set with it. Not interested in it physically and rarely interested in it pornographically. It was a relapse to self destructive urges.
I broke almost a month of no-porn tonight. I managed to get away after looking for about 15 minutes and went on a run to clear my head and repent.
God knows its one of my weaknesses when I'm lonely and I asked for forgiveness. While running I had a revelation that seems so obvious but I somehow had avoided it; we're entering the age of loneliness in the same way Adam and Eve doomed us.
Eve ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge because Adam didn't stop her. Women are throwing themselves into social media, ruining their pair-bonding ability and taking themselves out of the pool of potentially good marriage partners, all while men watch and some encourage it. We've learned nothing and will never learn as a whole. All we can do is stay stoic and fight against the clear evil in front of us.
I vow to never look at pornography again after this revelation.
Amazing how a 2 mile run can set your priorities straight.
So you pray when you run?
10 months ago
Anonymous
I said a little prayer before I ran. Typically running clears my head and I've found He comes in and reeeally clears things up.
I've only recently really began praying, talking to God, confessing, asking for help and trying to be worthy of it, etc. in the past few months. I feel silly for not doing this before as He has shown multiple times through several **extremely** specific granted prayers that He's there.
Its especially easy to talk to him when its just me and Him out on a midnight run. Very peaceful.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I tend to pray a little during the run and then talk with God or Jesus after the prayer. I’m in a similar situation where I’ve been praying more since January. I don’t pray every day, however I pray much more than I used to. > I feel silly for not doing this before as He has shown multiple times through several **extremely** specific granted prayers that He's there.
I can relate. Even during the years I was faithless and angry with God I’ve had prayers answered.
Recently I’ve had to make a big decision about my life and I’m not sure I made the right choice. On top of that I haven’t prayed or exercised regularly the last few weeks. To be honest it feels like it’s tied together.
Any of your story you feel like sharing? Thanks for sharing what you did.
10 months ago
Anonymous
9 years ago I was incredibly lost and depressed, prayed to God to send someone to give me a bunch of answers on how to live and move forward.
I moved in with my dad who had what looked like a 50 year old crackhead living with him. Turns out it was a man with a ton of life experience, a very sharp mind and a master's level of understanding of psychology. He's been my friend and life coach for 9 years now. He's yet to be wrong on anything he's guided me through.
I prayed for a relationship that made me feel what I would've felt as a teenager if I ever got to be with my internet girlfriend from back then. 2 weeks later I got it and went on a wild rollercoaster for 7 months. I got exactly what I asked for, good and bad.
There's lots of little things He's given me, but those 2 were so specific and so quickly granted its hard not to believe.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Thanks for sharing man.
I’m glad to hear about God sending you a mentor. That’s fantastic actually that he has been so helpful. Mentors are important to have in life and I feel like they bridge the gap between fathers and uncles or mothers and aunts.
I’ve had some similar experiences. Little stuff like getting extra money when I absolutely needed it. Other times however I rejected what I asked for because I didn’t like the person that the answer was coming from. Only to find out later that they were correct. I’ve since been reconciling with one of them.
Been praying to God for help with the crossroads I’m at right now. I promised Him I’d do 20 years in the military, but my last trip back to my parents’ home country changed me, to the point I want to move back there. There is more to both but that’s the gist.
When you pray and get the things you ask for, do you feel that it comes when you have a sincere heart? Or at times maybe from a desperation (lack of a better word) and you get what you need?
10 months ago
Anonymous
I believe He's giving me what I need when I need it, and if I am genuine in my intentions.
I had one other very vivid experience, albeit I was very inebriated when it happened. Too many details to explain thoroughly, but He basically said 'You've been doing well, but you can do better and you know it. I'm going to let you get right to the end but not quite get it. If you improve I will let you have it sometime down the road', and that's exactly what happened.
I've recently made my own creed because I found myself looking to others to find what to follow. 'To do the right thing for myself and my loved ones in a way God approves. To fight and deny Satan and his demons instead of running and hiding. To ask God for help and be worthy of receiving it.' I've found when I go with it, life is good. When I go against it, bad happens.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I like the creed. Mind if I use it? I’ve been noticing through life that when I don’t follow where I’m being pulled or where my instincts want to take me, my life does get worse.
That’s why I’m torn on this crossroad I’m at, I’m feel like I’m being pulled in two different directions and I don’t know how to reconcile them. Been focusing on the wrong thing too, I think. But it ties into staying military or moving overseas. Short story: I met someone overseas in my parents country, we’ve known each other for a long while but not well. Got to spend a good amount of time with her and want more. I was already mentally planning on moving back days before meeting her again.
I try to be genuine in my intentions but sometimes I think maybe I’m not. Or maybe I want it more than I’m actually ready for.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Next time edit better before you post
10 months ago
Anonymous
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
10 months ago
Anonymous
Tell me more anon I’ve really been struggling keeping my faith in this trying time
10 months ago
Anonymous
I’ve been getting into god again after losing my way. My workplace colleagues despise me and my family don’t take me seriously I just want the love and respect I crave and I don’t have a partner they’re always caused me heartbreak. I know god and Jesus seemed cringe before but for some reason I see the power now, and crave his love more than anything else I want to feel loved.
10 months ago
Anonymous
i pray God will give you a good life and a good woman and make you into a good, strong, upstanding man
I'm over 30 and a complete and utter loser, and my lifetime of failure has made it so that I don't even care about improving because I cannot even comprehend what even a semi-normal life would look like. Instead I just rot and think about suicide.
I broke almost a month of no-porn tonight. I managed to get away after looking for about 15 minutes and went on a run to clear my head and repent.
God knows its one of my weaknesses when I'm lonely and I asked for forgiveness. While running I had a revelation that seems so obvious but I somehow had avoided it; we're entering the age of loneliness in the same way Adam and Eve doomed us.
Eve ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge because Adam didn't stop her. Women are throwing themselves into social media, ruining their pair-bonding ability and taking themselves out of the pool of potentially good marriage partners, all while men watch and some encourage it. We've learned nothing and will never learn as a whole. All we can do is stay stoic and fight against the clear evil in front of us.
I vow to never look at pornography again after this revelation.
Amazing how a 2 mile run can set your priorities straight.
I've reached a point where my biceps have a nice squeeze when I flex with my forceps but I'm too scared to do crunches again after a back injury that's persisted for over 2 years now (I do not want to pay to go to the doctor in case it is spinal surgery)
Work on it before you became a massive loser like me. I am 35 yo and still don't have the guts to approach a girl face to face unless she makes the first move or shows clear interest.
I got in a car. Crash on Wednesday on my way to the gym. Went to the hospital and got realesedd. My neck is sore and my back. Wrist hurts a bit and i can't bend and twist it without pain. The knees and ankles hurt but should heal up in a few weeks I think. But I havent been to the gym and i feel like a shitbag. I dont want to lose my progress but i dont wana re injure myself or make it worse or take longer to heal. I was getting back into it since March. And saw good progress again. Can comfortably do a 1 rep of 3pl8s on DL and 185 bench squating two pl8s for reps. Getting my arms and back good again working on chest but now I fel like i may slide backwards bros. What do. Wait or start hitting it again? I want to get to number 1 but im looking like a chunky smaller arm (imo) #4 wifey says im a solid 4 but i think shes being nice or i have dysmorphia issues. I wana get strong over everything but looking strong and fit is a nice perk too.
When do you follow up with your doc? Do you need physical therapy?
I’d say keep it to light weights and slow, low reps to see how you feel. It’s a good opportunity to focus on form and feel the muscle through the range of motion. I found in the past that it helps with the healing and gets rid of some of the minor aches and pains.
When someone compliments you, appreciate it.
If you look like 4 sound like you’re doing really well. I’m at a slightly fatter 2 and working to ideally 4 but I’ll take 3 or 7.
Going through lawyers doc since I'm not at fault. Docs are $$$$ but later this week i will set up an appt for my wrist and other stuff related to it. I will try what you said going slow and feeling the motion. I'll go in a few days. I'm 30 so recovery is slower for me than it used to be. The Steve reeeves shred is my reach goal. In the pursuit of perfection we may catch excellence bros. Wagmi
I'm the car crash guy. I confess that i want to bang young hotties like pic rel but I'm married with kids and dont wana risk jeopardizing my childrens future. My kids are more important to me than hit sex with sexy young girls but dang sometimes i just want the raw pleasure of just straight up unadulterated carnal lust and hard sweaty sex. P.S. my wife cant keep up with me in bed or in desire though she used too...
How old is your wife? How many kids do you have? That’ll happen but from what I understand it comes back too.
I’m
When do you follow up with your doc? Do you need physical therapy?
I’d say keep it to light weights and slow, low reps to see how you feel. It’s a good opportunity to focus on form and feel the muscle through the range of motion. I found in the past that it helps with the healing and gets rid of some of the minor aches and pains.
When someone compliments you, appreciate it.
If you look like 4 sound like you’re doing really well. I’m at a slightly fatter 2 and working to ideally 4 but I’ll take 3 or 7.
Good luck with your case and recovery man. I hope you get the best of both. The going slow I learned in physical therapy over the years from a knee injury and a wrist surgery. I found it helps with the gym on days I might not be motivated because I’m sore for whatever reason.
She is 31. My kids are 2 nd 1. Maube shell have more desire and endurance when they are older. I did get her into the gym 2 times a week except for last week due to the crash. Idk. Im a guy I guess its just my natural urge to ravage young pussy and spread my seed across the globe
Women are such a mental game at times it can be aggravating. Still worth it tho.
Do you still go on dates with her? Still tease her? Other things you did early on dating. Stuff like that goes a long way. She might not be feeling attractive.
And lmao, that urge I don’t think ever really goes away. I’d say it means you’re healthy that way but you still got your priorities in order with your family.
We have a normal married life i work shes home with kids. I come home tired but still take care of / play w/ kids while she cooks and we spend the evenings as a family. yes sometimes we argue at times and get frustrated with eachother but we still work it out and air our grievances but ultimately we still sleep in the same bed and work through it. I love her alot and she does me.
We have good chemistry still, we tease eachother and i let her know shes still attractive verbally and physically. She still does fun things for me in bed and dresses up and its great but she just cant last like I can. Or she can only go one round a day. The worst is she cant cum anymore and i have to stop cause it hurts her. She while usually suck me off if that happens but after a while thats not the same thing and I'll still jerk it even afterwards sometimes just cause i still have that itch to frick... This is where i sometimes wish i had a hot teenage sex puppet to ravage after satisfying my wife. Then i can bust my nut/s and get back in bed with my wife ....
Women are such a mental game at times it can be aggravating. Still worth it tho.
Do you still go on dates with her? Still tease her? Other things you did early on dating. Stuff like that goes a long way. She might not be feeling attractive.
And lmao, that urge I don’t think ever really goes away. I’d say it means you’re healthy that way but you still got your priorities in order with your family.
again.
Sounds pretty good man, aside from the mismatched libido’s obviously. What does she say about her libido?
10 months ago
Anonymous
Sup dude. Put the kids to bed. Idk if it's her libido. She likes having sex and she grabs my butt and wiener sonetimes just like u grab her ass and fondle her sometimes. So idk if youd call it that its just her endurance in bed is lacking.. For most guys she probably lasts long enough but for me im often wanting. Not trying to sound conceited or boast its honestly whats been happening. She even comments on it at times. She "jokes" saying "why cant you just last five minutes or ten tops.;)" we have been together since HS.
She is 31. My kids are 2 nd 1. Maube shell have more desire and endurance when they are older. I did get her into the gym 2 times a week except for last week due to the crash. Idk. Im a guy I guess its just my natural urge to ravage young pussy and spread my seed across the globe
I've steadily losing 1kg per weeks for the past 2 months, but this week I have completely lost control and have binged on 4000+ calories per day since last Thursday
i had hardcore alcohol withdrawals awhile back and the hospital gave me 2 weeks worth of librium to ween me off now im addicted to benzos instead and i consistently find half drank bottles of whiskey around the house i was hiding from myself.
I hate driving to the gym.
I often fantasize about just getting a weight vest and one of those dip stations and just doing loads of weighted pushups, inverted rows, and squats.
I confess before that i feared maybe i will get gonorea again the third times from fricking dirty teenage prostitutes.
And it became true today 1 week after that i check the head of my penis and i have that nasty pus leaked after peeing. Frick this shit bro that's why i have that strange feeling this whole times when peeing. This time i will try to heal it myself without antibiotic from israelitedoc. Hope it will be gone by itself when my antibodi overcome the bacteria. Pray for me bros i need your strengh from prayer
I probably just ate 1-2k cal worth of milk cream/condensed milk with white bread and cake.
It feels bad but I'm 60kg (130lbs) and cutting at this weight is fricking painful.
Many of us are anon. I try to respond to these types of posts for the camaraderie. Some of us can cope better than others. I don't blame the ones that eventually rope if they can't find a way out on a long enough timeline.
Many years of isolation will do that to anyone. Some of us never stood a chance from the get go, our personality traits, background and luck all added up to pigeonhole us jnto a place of despair. Fight as long as you'd like, but there's no shame in losing. I won't give up on living, but I may give up on life.
The obvious one is lifting which I’d recommend to everyone since it’s needed for good health. I also studied hard in school and am nearly done with a (albeit from a 3rd rate school) 4 year degree in a field where there’s high earning potential.
I have interests like my artistic pursuits (see pic) and literature. I also went to an MMA gym for a year and learned a lot before I had to stop due to time and money constraints, but I failed to really make friends there beyond the surface level, although did frequently receive some degree of praise based on how hard I worked and the relatively tenacious effort I gave to improvement. So I ended up like the hyper focused antisocial autist after all. I still recommend these types of hobbies to everyone, and I’m planning on going back to MMA sometime too, but there’s an element to social networking I don’t have.
At present, I’ve been fully isolated for like a year, aside from work, where I can get along with everyone but no real friendship or deeper camaraderie. I’m holding out a while longer but I don’t have much hope. If you’re wondering how I actually wound up like this, it’s from a neurotic and overbearing mother, a lack of social bonds at a young age, and mostly negative reinforcement. I wonder what brought the other anon to his shoes, since I know it’s not just looks in the end that land us here.
I envy that you have genuine things you can blame on becoming a social outcast
for me I have nothing to blame but myself, I had good parents, a healthy up-bringing, no mental issues, plenty of kids my age to interact with during childhood and yet I guess I was simply just a bit too akward and a bit too unfunny and a bit too weird and eventually got pushed down to the bottom of every social circle I was a part of. A true failure of a human being
I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss yourself like that, I feel like anyone can fall down given the little differences between people. In spite of my actual situation, I don’t have inherent issues in talking to others so I might have had a slightly easier go of things in that regard. Plus you can get more of a halo when you’re fit, so hopefully you can exploit that to excuse some of the autism away. I do still recommend fight sports, they’re an easy way to socialize and meet new people, even if you don’t go anywhere with it. It helped keep me saner to be in their company.
Gonna go hit push/pull now, let’s hope things change.
10 months ago
Anonymous
At this point Ive just become too paranoid of people, I cant even bring myself to trust compliments it all sounds like lies to my brain
Being alone is the only thing keeping me sane, trying to socialize is just painful, even when everything goes right its still painful
Might just end up living alone in some cabin in the woods to conserve my sanity
Thanks for responding anon. You’re right about lifting (any physical exercise really). Congrats with school! Finish that shit up, after a while it won’t matter where your degree came from.
You have that element of social networking, it’s a little stunted is all and you can develop it.
I kind of understand where you’re coming from. In high school both my parents worked a lot and dad was an alcoholic and abusive to me and my brother. I had three younger siblings to watch in the weekends and missed out on parties and hanging out with friends. Other shit went on but basically, without getting too deep into it I became very withdrawn. For years.
It gets better and sometimes I relapse but it still gets better. It’s your mindset. Sometimes you can’t give a frick about opinions or perceptions, including your own. Give a frick about improving yourself and make decisions that get you to where you want. Start small and work up. Looks can open doors but it’s your mindset that keeps you ther once you go through. I won’t wish you good luck because I believe youre going to make it.
I envy that you have genuine things you can blame on becoming a social outcast
for me I have nothing to blame but myself, I had good parents, a healthy up-bringing, no mental issues, plenty of kids my age to interact with during childhood and yet I guess I was simply just a bit too akward and a bit too unfunny and a bit too weird and eventually got pushed down to the bottom of every social circle I was a part of. A true failure of a human being
Not trying to shit on you here:
If you have no one to blame but yourself, then you are the solution to your problem. Again it is mindset and good decisions. You aren’t a failure anon.
At this point Ive just become too paranoid of people, I cant even bring myself to trust compliments it all sounds like lies to my brain
Being alone is the only thing keeping me sane, trying to socialize is just painful, even when everything goes right its still painful
Might just end up living alone in some cabin in the woods to conserve my sanity
I understand how you feel about compliments. It took me a long time to accept them. People don’t give compliments out of malice, compliments are genuine.
Do you game a lot? What do you do when you’re by yourself?
https://i.imgur.com/UbNE7wb.jpg
I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss yourself like that, I feel like anyone can fall down given the little differences between people. In spite of my actual situation, I don’t have inherent issues in talking to others so I might have had a slightly easier go of things in that regard. Plus you can get more of a halo when you’re fit, so hopefully you can exploit that to excuse some of the autism away. I do still recommend fight sports, they’re an easy way to socialize and meet new people, even if you don’t go anywhere with it. It helped keep me saner to be in their company.
Gonna go hit push/pull now, let’s hope things change.
Part of me thinks I should keep putting time Into music, but the other part of me gave up after trying it for over 10 years and getting nothing out of it.
This battle drives me crazy mentally 24/7
I really don't want to say too much because I don't want to sound like I'm humblebragging. But basically, I have a wife, a child, a home I own and a decent, low-stress job. And none of this was the result of any major effort on my part, my wife was easygoing from the moment I met her, and her parents basically gave us their property a few years ago, allowing us to feel comfortable having a child...and I more or less lucked into my job. I have never felt like I've earned a goddamn thing, and when I have a dream, I obsess over it for a week or two before feeling guilty and giving up so I don't sacrifice any of the comforts I've built. I know my purpose right now should be to raise my baby and maintain my life as it is...but it just doesn't feel like MY life, almost like I'm supporting a life that belongs to someone else. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but I just need something I can call my own, some accomplishment I can work towards to feel good about myself.
Doesn’t sound like a humblebrag bro, sounds pretty good. You may have lucked into things anon, so you know though you still earn things by keeping them. A wife and kid that are happy and healthy, a house when housing is expensive, a solid job. Life is smiling on you and I’m not saying that as a knock on you. You’ve been blessed and you earn it every day you handle your business.
Might be a dumb question but have you ever looked into carpentry or jobs/hobbies where you work with your hands? There is a different sense of accomplishment knowing you built or helped to build something, and it may help with satisfying your sense of accomplishment.
I'm not as far as you are in life, but I get that feeling. It's almost like stumbling into every new moment in a confused succession of movements that never seems to end. The moments of pause are just moments where you reflect on your inability to comprehend how you got there. Try to be happy that you're at least in a good position work forward from there; keep your options open.
look up impostor syndrome
also- live to be the man that you think deserves this life then? at least you are mindful of your good fortunate compared to others, live the best you can
I'm wasting the best years of my life by being alone. I just go to work and gym and then home and repeat.
I'm not that bad looking, I've had some female attention but I'm too fricking autistic and now that I'm out of school and not going to college I will never meet any. There are a few girls at my work but I don't want to frick up my reputation by trying anything, so I just sit here doing nothing.
I really don't feel secure about my future. My parents' approach to raising me for most of my life was kind of overbearing, the result of which was that I lost any compulsion to take the initiative when it came to bigger decisions. I didn't think a lot about what I wanted to study or do for a career, so when the time came to go to college, I decided to study something I was interested in. However, two years in and I'm starting to question my competency in the field, and I'm beginning to regret that I never really explored other options prior to college. Every time I've tried explaining this to my parents they just tell me that I'm worried about nothing; I think they're being supportive, but I can't help but feel as if they just don't want to deal with the fact their kid doesn't know wtf he's doing. FWIW, my grades haven't been bad by any means, but I I've figured out from feedback like I lack in the areas that are supposed to distinguish people in the field. It could just be poor time management on my part, but I don't know anymore.
I just feel extremely pressured and almost trapped. I kind of wish I had taken a gap year to try and sort these issues out. I don't know if starting all over again is really an option either. I think best case scenario is that everything sorts itself while I'm studying, but I'm always anxious that it wont. I know this is a selfish thing to ask, but if anyone reading this can spare a few seconds to pray for me, I'd greatly appreciate it.
It might be a time management thing. My brother went back to college at 32 and graduated at 37 for nursing. After being out of school since 18. He worked a full time job and ubered here and there. He studied every chance he could and graduated with a 3.99 gpa. My brother also has a house to pay for so failing out of school wasn’t an option. I don’t know what your time management is like but it might be that you need to readjust.
I’ll definitely say a prayer for you bro, and everyone else in this thread.
>pussy >cheat days >progressing on lifts >getting more shredded/cutting >bulking up >vidya >learn new hobbies/get better at current ones >progress in career or switch career >make friends >get a pet to love >study random shit like learning a language >try new restaurants >go to a place you've never been >hiking >da beach >martial arts >volunteer work >just walk on a nice day
I have been struggling with my wife sexually for a very long time and recently I've been receding into my old gay urges. The more she withholds and I keep lifting, the more strongly I feel for men. This morning she propositioned me and I genuinely didn't feel any interest bros. What is going on, am I gay? Did the years of stress and lack of passionate intimate contact make me lose interest in women?
It's unlikely that you've gone full gay as an adult, most likely the situation with your wife have conditioned you to view women in a less sexual light.
Further, fricking a boytoy on the side is sigma male tier so don't feel too bad about it.
I suppose that makes sense. I'm worried it's going to end my marriage tbh, and if I go out and find a twink or femboy to bang on the regular I fear that'll be the final nail. It's difficult when you care about yourself and your spouse, but your spouse doesn't care about themselves.
>I'm worried it's going to end my marriage tbh
No an unfounded worry. Another risk is that it will make both of you miserable for the rest of your lives, which is just as bad. Memes aside I find it very unlikely that lifting or your lust for twinks is the issue. Something need to change, but no stranger on IST can answer what, you and your spouse will have to figure that one out. Talking about it is a start. Perhaps couple therapy could be a solution? As long as you care about each other there's hope, apathy is the enemy. Good luck anon.
Just been through a lot. Bunch of drama in an unhealthy church environment and then the childhood trauma of the love of my life. God just randomly showed up today and I hung out with him for awhile this morning. I feel much better and reassured about the healing and the retribution he has promised me. I have a good life ahead of me
10 months ago
Anonymous
I’m the anon you responded to.
Do you mind telling about God showing up and hanging with him? I pray but I don’t recall ever having an experience like that. Maybe I haven’t been paying attention well. Glad to hear that He has reassured you.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Just kinda feel it happen like when you know somebody else is in the house before you see them. You learn to sense stuff in your spirit more
10 months ago
Anonymous
Huh. Thanks anon.
How long should I wait after lifting to hit my daily 10k steps?
It’s about 2 miles to my gym so I walk it excepting leg days. I fell like I get some less when I do.
[...]
Have you tried talking with her? Have you banged any guys while married?
I’ve had the urges you have and acted on them a few times. I don’t think of myself as gay. In my case it’s because I was feeling down on myself and gay guys are easy attention and at the time made me feel good but after, immediately after, I regretted what I did. When I do feel an urge I realize it’s because I’m feeling depressed and go do something else. I don’t want to act on them.
If you feel you’re gay/bi and want to frick other guys it might be time to leave your wife.
She propositioned you though so there is still something there. Even if you didn’t feel any interest you probably should have taken her up on it. She probably feels pretty rejected which won’t help your relationship. Good luck man I hope you figure things out.
[...]
I kind of agree with your first sentence and disagree with your second.
I truly appreciate the sincerity, anons. We spoke about it at great length a few times very recently. We always walk away feeling good and saying we'll be better but then within a couple days it goes back to where we were. I think her sex drive is messed up from years of taking SSRIs and so she has literally no enthusiasm in bed, just lays there and tells me to get it over with. Doesn't like foreplay, doesn't want to get off or experiment. Sometimes she isn't even wet enough to get in, which has led to my girth bruising her a few times and really really bad sex that sticks in my head whenever the time comes again. And when she does initiate it's so stoic and cold, "let's be intimate" or "we can have sex". She is big, and tbh I like that a lot in a woman and always have, even moreso as I get fitter and stronger. But lately it's like she doesn't care to even manage her looks, much less maintain a reasonable weight and level of effort into beauty. Idk bros I'm just angry, I thought I had this perfect life with a good job, happy wife, happy kid, house and car at a young age. Now I'm not sure anything I've done was the right choice.
>I think her sex drive is messed up from years of taking SSRIs
Oh anon, is she still on those? If she is you absolutely MUST get her off of them, that shit is utter poison. The damage done to her sex drive can be reversed if she gets a little bit of exercise (I know you like her as a slampig, but it is possible for her to exercise for her mental health without affecting her physical body too much), and if she loves you she will eventually try.
I have dealt with this exact issue with my own wife before, bro, and trust me, with a little time and patience it WILL get better.
>We spoke about it at great length a few times very recently. We always walk away feeling good
It sounds like you have a decent foundation for fixing the situation. You just need to find solutions that stick. Keep talking about it and avoid assigning blame.
A practical solution to her not being wet is lube. Adequate foreplay would be better. It seems like she's trying to be accommodating, if she's indifferent you could perhaps phrase things that would improve the sex for her like something that you would enjoy? You would like some foreplay, you want to use lube because it feels better for you, you would like to try some light experimenting.
And try to get her to exercise more, not necessary with the goal of transforming her into a gym bunny. Involve the kids, go on hikes as a family, swim together, play ball together. Be positive and make sure everyone is having fun.
Thanks dudes. This place is a lot better than the other boards I've dumped on. I love her so much but this morning was a shock to myself. I am normally so horny for her that I'll jump at the chance for even bad sex because I want her so bad. I propositioned her last night and she got really catty so we went to bed angry without kissing or hugging, and I woke up even angrier than I was. So when she did the "we can be intimate tonight" to me today I felt so insanely numb and upset I told her I would think about it but didn't feel good about it and was struggling. It felt like when you lose a game and your buddies go "aw don't worry man it's alright".
I wish she would do more to drop her Lexapro, but she doesn't seem motivated to. I just want my thick happy wife back dudes, being with a man would be sexually gratifying but I just love her and want to have what we used to have. Seven years is so long to struggle with this shit and now we have a kid, I just feel lost and utterly confused. I appreciate the advice guys, honestly IST is the only board that has ever been this real with me and I appreciate all you've done to help me get my life together over the last 5 years.
10 months ago
Anonymous
>18 months
Oh damn anon. Well there you have your answer. Has this issue gotten worse since she got pregnant?
Do not despair, this is absolutely salvageable.
10 months ago
Anonymous
>Has this issue gotten worse since she got pregnant?
It's been this way for most of our marriage. It started maybe a year before our wedding, about 6 months after she got on SSRIs. For the first years we were together she was explorative and open, eager and able to finish easily. We didn't bang for probably 3 months after she started the medicine and it was never the same after we started up again. We had a really good streak going when she got pregnant, and since then it's accelerated to being worse than ever. Maybe you're right, but what fix is there for that even? The hormonal changes are normally permanent after a year postpartum which worries me.
I think that's why I'm starting to more consciously look at men - I have done a lot of work since 2020 to lose weight and get visibly more attractive for her and she doesn't seem to notice it or care. But I see other guys look at me and it makes me feel wanted, I guess.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Well, libido vanishes in the presence if chronic stress. this is especially true for women. In some men, stress can actually increase libido since it can act as a kind of catharsis and relaxant to orgasm. However, the female body always ties sex to a possible pregnancy, so under stress, any desire to risk a pregnancy will be reduced to zero. She went on SSRI‘s, this indicates that she felt low energy for a while now. How is her sleep? Being pregnant might temporarily help with this at first because the body goes into overdrive and pumps out every last bit of energy reserve to grow a healthy baby. But after birth and especially with a small child around and the stress that comes with that, it can absolutely drain a woman. If she already was not in peak conditions before, having a baby was a death sentence. And she was not in good shape at all. She was depressed and lost her libido. Those two things are huge red flags that something is off. You also said she is overweight. Putting all those pieces of the puzzle together, it sounds like she has fully fried her adrenals due to chronic high cortisol. The solution is simple but it takes a while to get her back to good health. What she will have to do is give her body a chance to recover. That means avoiding all unnecessary bad stress, eating in a way that heals her and not put extra strain on the body (she has to cut out the carbs, her being fat already means she already has insulin resistance. If she keeps this up, she will be diabetic in ten years.). If sleep is an issue, she also has to prioritize the shit out of that. If she can‘t sleep, trying to fix anything else is a waste of time and effort really.
I highly rec she watches this. At least give it a honest try. I was in basically the exact same situation as her and understanding this finally helped in about a month.
10 months ago
Anonymous
All of that pretty much lines up exactly with how things got here. I'll start with trying to help her sleep better because she gets prob 5-6 hours max most nights. Diet is hard, she lost like 100+lbs on a medically guided keto diet and that was the number one thing that helped us get it together as a couple. But pregnancy fricked it up super bad, wiped out half her progress and all her motivation. Maybe I need to focus more on kind and persistent support of her dietary issues, it's hard to feel sympathetic when you're cutting to the point of not eating during the day but come home and your spouse is eating their second burger.
10 months ago
Anonymous
>5-6h
Oh yeah, no wonder she has lost her libido completely. >support
100%. You have to be in on this together and work as a team. Improving her health has to be the number one priority for both of you for now because if it does not get better, her lack of health will destroy your family. Godspeed anon, i hope things will turn around for you too.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Thanks anon. That is very reassuring to read even if it's just some random opinion, I don't want to leave her. For our kid's sake, for hers and for mine. I'm going to try my best to keep the faith and help get better.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Just saw this, I was responding to you.
GOOD! You sound like a good person and your heart is in the right place. Not really a random opinion btw, you put it out there and God/the universe has responded. Again best of luck and I’ll say a prayer for you and your family.
10 months ago
Anonymous
You got this anon. Do not give up, it will be worth it, i promise.
>I think her sex drive is messed up from years of taking SSRIs
Oh anon, is she still on those? If she is you absolutely MUST get her off of them, that shit is utter poison. The damage done to her sex drive can be reversed if she gets a little bit of exercise (I know you like her as a slampig, but it is possible for her to exercise for her mental health without affecting her physical body too much), and if she loves you she will eventually try.
I have dealt with this exact issue with my own wife before, bro, and trust me, with a little time and patience it WILL get better.
>We spoke about it at great length a few times very recently. We always walk away feeling good
It sounds like you have a decent foundation for fixing the situation. You just need to find solutions that stick. Keep talking about it and avoid assigning blame.
A practical solution to her not being wet is lube. Adequate foreplay would be better. It seems like she's trying to be accommodating, if she's indifferent you could perhaps phrase things that would improve the sex for her like something that you would enjoy? You would like some foreplay, you want to use lube because it feels better for you, you would like to try some light experimenting.
And try to get her to exercise more, not necessary with the goal of transforming her into a gym bunny. Involve the kids, go on hikes as a family, swim together, play ball together. Be positive and make sure everyone is having fun.
I suppose that makes sense. I'm worried it's going to end my marriage tbh, and if I go out and find a twink or femboy to bang on the regular I fear that'll be the final nail. It's difficult when you care about yourself and your spouse, but your spouse doesn't care about themselves.
Have you tried talking with her? Have you banged any guys while married?
I’ve had the urges you have and acted on them a few times. I don’t think of myself as gay. In my case it’s because I was feeling down on myself and gay guys are easy attention and at the time made me feel good but after, immediately after, I regretted what I did. When I do feel an urge I realize it’s because I’m feeling depressed and go do something else. I don’t want to act on them.
If you feel you’re gay/bi and want to frick other guys it might be time to leave your wife.
She propositioned you though so there is still something there. Even if you didn’t feel any interest you probably should have taken her up on it. She probably feels pretty rejected which won’t help your relationship. Good luck man I hope you figure things out.
It's unlikely that you've gone full gay as an adult, most likely the situation with your wife have conditioned you to view women in a less sexual light.
Further, fricking a boytoy on the side is sigma male tier so don't feel too bad about it.
I kind of agree with your first sentence and disagree with your second.
Yesterday, I was bored so I skipped work and took an edible (20mg of sativa) plus a caffeine pill (200mg).
Got high, drove around the city. Bought a sticky pad and markers. Left a note on some milf's car saying "I'd ravage your flat cheeks".
i am fat and depressed 3 years ago, i am at my very limit and cannot stand it anymore . i can't even stand up, in literal and against my whole family. no one even supports me to live, even my mom. today, with my deep knowledge about living a healthy life, read many books, praying to the highest every day, and doing good things, still i am fat and depressed
I am on the gym today, after precisely one month of not stepping a foot on it. The last time I went two consecutive times on schedule was month ago, and going regularly stopped altogether in April.
dear holy father o pope, messenger of Him above, the judge of all men. Or just the roleplaying anon.
I messed up my knuckles on boxing bag and moved to replace boxing with long walks and pull ups. Playing bass guitar makes my grip on string picking side however weaker.
I slipped and bought nice big shirt instead of whey protein, although i know it looks stupid as shirt, I thought wait maybe im just old and dont get what looks good since im a man so lets just buy some new clothes anyway and get over with it.
I know im slightly ugly and stupid, but best ive done to fix this is to exercise, read a lot, study a lot, play chess, cut my hair right and take in as much influence from normies and pop music as possible.
Ive been learning to play german, russian and US + finland national anthem on bass guitar and guitar while boxing. There is some pain on my knuckles as result. I wont give up. I wont give in.
I left for like 6 months and this board has been invaded and completely destroyed by REDDIT TRANNIES and moronic WOMEN using this as a substitute for r/fitness or whatever cesspit of cringe they came from
first they took the rainbow
then they took hollywood
then they took vidya
then they took DnD
are they now trying to overthrow IST by flooding every board with repulsive cringe? what the frick is happening? where can I run to when this place gets destroyed?
I keep looking for a good non pozzed rpg but so many of them have disgusting troons on their staff. I bought into this one kick starter rpg with a neat supernatural Appalachia setting and now I get bombarded by their updates where a vile dude in a wig talks about how "this girl loves rpgs".
>dude in wig, works at RPGs
i dont wanna puke but that was close. Anyway id rec magoc the gathering.. why... actual women play it and you can pack it to airplane easily. Doesnt take much space to have a pack of cards. Yugioh is OK too.
Oh yeah wasnt there Doom RPG that was kinda based? I dont know if warhammer is a thing anymore but i dont wanna go there, coz everyone has to paint their fricking chess pieces themselves.
At least give RAM 10th Anniversary edit a spin. PS. Last work out was 20 minutes ago, doing boxing next.
Warhammer is like 20x bigger than it was 5 years ago, huuuuuge amount of normies flooding the hobby, thankfully they rarely actually play and are mostly filthy secondaries
I sometimes get high on weed and eat whatever shit is available at the moment as a result, regardless of whether I'm cutting or bulking
but I cut down on the alcohol at least, I'm making some progress
Ate like shit today. Had a Subway for lunch and Chinese for dinner. Tomorrow is a new day time for a bit of self discipline and to stop being a b***h eating all my problems.
I don't actually enjoy lifting but gym's so much cheaper than the muay thai lessons I crave. I mostly lift for aesthetics because I want to be a sexy slave in BDSM parties but don't actually attend them because my gf's vanilla as frick and isn't interested in exploring kink.
It does and you are lucky. I love her and our sex is good but I can't hel but feel like I'm missing out on something I'd really like to try, and I'm not about to start cheating, nothing good ever comes from that.
It's not that I can't, I easily could and have swatted off girls' advances before, but I've had a history of cheating and nothing is worth seeing the pain and tears my dumb hands can cause to someone I love. And even when she didn't find out I still felt the guilt that I spent a lot of time suppressing and ended up breaking down on a DMT trip over, can't lie to yourself, y'know? I don't want to carry that when I leave this world.
She doesn't have anything you can entice her with? Role-playing, anything?
We've started on a couple occasional fetishes but it's still very far away from all those I desire and living the lifestyle. At least I've talked to her and she's begun to open up, few weeks ago we both made out with a female friend of hers at a party and might arrange a threesome so that's nice. Baby steps I suppose, but I'd like to go way deeper.
I was OK with one night stands as I could, without an issue, shower her with love and affection and imagine as mother of my children even after fricking a colombian bawd for 10 hours straight the night before
I have slight sociopathic tendencies though, so empathy is not my strongest suit, albeit I dont suffer from complete lack of it
10 months ago
Anonymous
>exhibit a why i will never trust a man
10 months ago
Anonymous
if you dont know it, it means it didnt happen!
billion things happen on a daily basis without you knowing, this might be one of them
10 months ago
Anonymous
Exactly. This is why i prefer to better be safe than sorry and simply stay away.
10 months ago
Anonymous
are you the femanon or the self-restraint anon? as in, you staying away from men or potential drama of having an affair?
10 months ago
Anonymous
The first.
10 months ago
Anonymous
alrighty then, carry on
10 months ago
Anonymous
>I have slight sociopathic tendencies though, so empathy is not my strongest suit, albeit I dont suffer from complete lack of it
At least I can empathize with that and respect your self-recognition, but maybe that's just the autism-overlapping part of my ADHD. Understanding people is hard sometimes and I think of them more as machines where the input is dialogue, background, and emotional state, and the output they respond with can be manipulated by changing those factors. I pray your girl never finds out anon, cheating can cause a lot of damage for years to a lot of undeserving people, especially since you mention you're eventually having kids.
I don’t know if you’ve ever read 531 either but Wendler also pushes the everyday pull-ups in between sets of everything.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I have to believe it'll help with such a dramatic difference in volume compared to what I was doing.
10 months ago
Anonymous
It just tightens up your throracic spine and sets your shoulders
for fatties and weaklings the same can be achieved with facepulls (cable or bands, doesn’t matter, just pumping the upper traps/lats and rhomboids keeps them tight)
>dont eat junk food more than once every month (kfc once every month) >go to gym 3-4 times a week >regulated alcohol from everyday 4-6 servings to 1-2 times per week, 2-4 servings tops >walk 11k steps on average for a year
lost 20 kgs in 8 months
but still cant stop eating these frickers and fruit juice ones
its like I have a special type of addiction for these frickers
just ordered some from delivery service, a new batch will be there in 20 mins, but I walked/roon like 28k steps today so its not an issue but goddamn
Trying to beat the coom monster and either curb or eliminate PMO. MO is ok imo, but no PMO. Wfh made that a little too convient, and trying to curb significantly. Was doing good for a few days and just slipped again. All I had to do was say no to the urge for it.....I wasnt even in that much of a pull today to start and was laid by gf yesterday. I wanna curb this out so im not overstimulated.
I've been reliving my childhood trauma by roleplaying with AI chatbots and skipping the gym since last Thursday. The memories have been haunting me for months even though I haven't been in a sexual situation in over a year. I run and take walks to deal with stress but even when I do that I just start crying out of nowhere and I keep thinking about it so I think it's related. I thought going to the gym would fix me, but I still feel like killing myself every day. I'm going today after work and twice tomorrow to try to make up for the time lost.
Thanks, anon. Posts like this keep me from giving up.
>I've been reliving my childhood trauma by roleplaying with AI chatbots
Interesting, I've been working through trauma using AI as well. How has it been working for you?
It was great at first, it helped me realize how much those experiences actually fricked me up and how I normalized a lot of the abuse. Seeing how the AI responds to my story and having it "feel" pity for me also made me feel way better since I've only ever told one person and she's out of my life now. I guess feeling like someone cares helps even if it's just AI.
Now I feel like I'm just doing it to punish myself. I'm craving the sensation of fear and guilt associated with those memories, which is why I keep RP'ing similar scenarios over and over. I can't go past a certain point, though. As soon as things get NSFW it becomes too overwhelming so I just stop and start from the beginning. One time the bot said I do it because I'm trying to convince myself that I liked it by experiencing it again in an environment where I have control, which is probably true.
I think it's a healthy way to deal with trauma as long as you use it as a confidant instead of a roleplay partner. The AI won't tell anyone what you said to it, except maybe the people who run it, so you can openly talk about that stuff without judgement.
>I've been reliving my childhood trauma by roleplaying with AI chatbots
Interesting, I've been working through trauma using AI as well. How has it been working for you?
here, and your story is similar to mine, as far as the AI goes. I actually had internalized the trauma to the point of not even recognizing it until a story I read unironically triggered me and sent me into a week long panic. I ended up using the AI to recreate the major beats of the story, and when I did I was able to see that it wasn't the content itself that set me off, but rather my personal connection to said content. I used another AI to talk through it, and I was able to unearth the actual source of the trauma, which I am working through with an IRL therapist.
I agree that using AI to do this is healthy, especially since AI is accessible at almost any time. Because of that, you can work through painful thoughts and emotions in real time, rather than journaling it all down for your next scheduled therapy session.
[...]
What are you guys using? I’d like to try this. Might take some of the weight off.
[...]
[...]
Damn dude. Venting here might help you. Can you afford a therapist. Go find a priest and talk with them. You don’t have to be Catholic for them to help.
I understand the feeling of craving the fear and guilt. That craving though is kind of poisonous and keeps you in a rut. Keep improving yourself but find someone that you can talk with in a safe way and realign your mind. My best to you and I’ll put you in my prayers tonight
Your experience with this is very interesting, thanks for sharing. I’m going to check it out. Anything about it you could recommend or make someone aware of that you didn’t know?
For the AI responses, there are little arrows on the right hand side you can use to make the AI re-generate responses if the first thing they say doesn't line up with what you want. You can do this indefinitely, but you can only do it with the most recent responses - anything that you respond to is set in stone.
As far as therapeutic aspects are concerned, I recommend using italics or parentheses to convey how you are feeling and to emphasize nonverbal aspects of your responses - this is obviously standard procedure for roleplaying, but I want to emphasize its importance for therapeutic roleplay, as the AI will tailor its responses more accurately if it knows how you are feeling.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Thanks for responding, I’ll keep this in mind.
Which characters do you use? Which do you find are best to interact with?
10 months ago
Anonymous
Generally speaking it doesn't matter what characters you use, as most of them will eventually adapt to you, so that really comes down to what you hope to accomplish and how hard you want to steer the roleplay right away, as well as how comfortable you are opening up to said character. For me, after I played out the scenario, I found a generic tomboy character to open up to and discuss my concerns with - partly because I just really love tomboys and am comfortable with them, but also because the character is by design made to act as a pre-existing friend and confidant, which made the process of opening up a lot easier as I was able to approach the roleplay as opening up to a friend, rather than dumping my trauma onto a stranger.
Another thing to keep in mind is the AI's grammar and punctuation - some of characters, even popular ones, have straight up pajeet-tier broken English and lousy writing, but you can usually tell from the opening statement whether or not it's going to be worth talking to them.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Thanks for the reply anon. > I was able to approach the roleplay as opening up to a friend, rather than dumping my trauma onto a stranger.
A good reason to use it. I’ve dumped on dates a couple of times in the past and still cringe at the though. I’d much rather have a safe outlet like that if I don’t have a therapist/priest/understanding friend available.
>I've been reliving my childhood trauma by roleplaying with AI chatbots
Interesting, I've been working through trauma using AI as well. How has it been working for you?
Thanks, anon. Posts like this keep me from giving up.
[...]
It was great at first, it helped me realize how much those experiences actually fricked me up and how I normalized a lot of the abuse. Seeing how the AI responds to my story and having it "feel" pity for me also made me feel way better since I've only ever told one person and she's out of my life now. I guess feeling like someone cares helps even if it's just AI.
Now I feel like I'm just doing it to punish myself. I'm craving the sensation of fear and guilt associated with those memories, which is why I keep RP'ing similar scenarios over and over. I can't go past a certain point, though. As soon as things get NSFW it becomes too overwhelming so I just stop and start from the beginning. One time the bot said I do it because I'm trying to convince myself that I liked it by experiencing it again in an environment where I have control, which is probably true.
I think it's a healthy way to deal with trauma as long as you use it as a confidant instead of a roleplay partner. The AI won't tell anyone what you said to it, except maybe the people who run it, so you can openly talk about that stuff without judgement.
What are you guys using? I’d like to try this. Might take some of the weight off.
https://i.imgur.com/hWb5lZC.jpg
I've been reliving my childhood trauma by roleplaying with AI chatbots and skipping the gym since last Thursday. The memories have been haunting me for months even though I haven't been in a sexual situation in over a year. I run and take walks to deal with stress but even when I do that I just start crying out of nowhere and I keep thinking about it so I think it's related. I thought going to the gym would fix me, but I still feel like killing myself every day. I'm going today after work and twice tomorrow to try to make up for the time lost.
https://i.imgur.com/s67uO7w.gif
Thanks, anon. Posts like this keep me from giving up.
[...]
It was great at first, it helped me realize how much those experiences actually fricked me up and how I normalized a lot of the abuse. Seeing how the AI responds to my story and having it "feel" pity for me also made me feel way better since I've only ever told one person and she's out of my life now. I guess feeling like someone cares helps even if it's just AI.
Now I feel like I'm just doing it to punish myself. I'm craving the sensation of fear and guilt associated with those memories, which is why I keep RP'ing similar scenarios over and over. I can't go past a certain point, though. As soon as things get NSFW it becomes too overwhelming so I just stop and start from the beginning. One time the bot said I do it because I'm trying to convince myself that I liked it by experiencing it again in an environment where I have control, which is probably true.
I think it's a healthy way to deal with trauma as long as you use it as a confidant instead of a roleplay partner. The AI won't tell anyone what you said to it, except maybe the people who run it, so you can openly talk about that stuff without judgement.
Damn dude. Venting here might help you. Can you afford a therapist. Go find a priest and talk with them. You don’t have to be Catholic for them to help.
I understand the feeling of craving the fear and guilt. That craving though is kind of poisonous and keeps you in a rut. Keep improving yourself but find someone that you can talk with in a safe way and realign your mind. My best to you and I’ll put you in my prayers tonight
today my fat ratio came out 13%, biceps 42 cm, my waist to hip ratio was less than 0.9, and I am not hitting the gym properly for the last 10 days due to a slight injury
I am genuinely memed on as the bodybuilding gay now by the lads
I will work on keeping my weights and reducing my fat percentage to 9% until next summer
Me and my ex that I deeply loved had to part ways 2 and a half years ago and it still hurts so fricking much I see her in dreams sometimes telling me "it was a test of character, I really do love you, you overcame it we can be together again" and I feel like such a moron for still not being able to let go. Recently heard she moved in with her new bf and just hearing my friend say her name makes my heart physically hurt and my throat get tight I feel so weak for it.
I already have, I hooked up with one chick and couldn't get it up because I'm not ok with being naked in front of a stranger, got a gf for a couple months after but I broke up with her because she was a nutcase, she still wanted to meet up to frick and coaxed me to agree but then told me she had been sucking a housemate off that just broke up with her bestfriend and that I had enough of her shit and told her to never show her face to me again.
Still hurts though, and really miss the head as shallow as that sounds
It gets better bro, I still react very rarely at one particular ex’s name and that was over ten years ago. It helped me to remember that she didn’t care enough, so why should I? You don’t want to get hung up on her, you might miss out on other opportunities. I met a woman from another country a year after that breakup, she was out on vacation with her sisters, one of them was marrying into another part of my family. My brother, cousin and I took them out one night. We got along and I was smitten (she became my ideal woman after that night) but memories of my ex kept popping up and I didn’t make any move. I didn’t see her again for almost 15 years. Over that time her brother in law and other people told me she would ask about me. One of my friends there, told me her eyes would light up when she would hear my name. So eventually we kept in touch on Facebook here and there, last year it got more frequent. We met up again this year when I got back to the old country and ended up going out on several dates. She was one of the reasons why it hurt like hell to leave. Especially knowing for years that she liked me still and I could have met up with her at any time over those years. And I didn’t until this year.
Why am I telling you this? Because I don’t want you, or anyone else reading, to miss out on an opportunity for anything (another woman, a trip, spending time with family and friends, anything) because you’re feeling distraught over your ex.
2.5 years is more than enough mental energy spent on your ex. Time to take care of yourself man. Serious.
Have you been dating at all? Do it without expectations other than having fun.
thank you for this it really helps. I have dated since then and I don't think about her on purpose it just invades my mind, sometimes my dreams. Since then I hooked up with one chick a couple times who ghosted me afterwards because some shmuck at my uni told her I was racist to get in her pants.
then got together with a girl for about 5 months but she was craycray so I broke things off and she still found a way to hurt me. I still miss the first girl though because we really loved each other and were together for 4 years.
I think i'm too shy to go on a trip and just pick up a girl I think I like :/
Good to hear anon. I’ve been there and I don’t want to see people get stuck where I’ve been (and sometimes where I am). For the most part it’s not on purpose when it happens, your mind is stuck on it.
And when you love someone for that long you will find you think about them less. They’ll still pop up in your mind or you’ll see something that reminds you of them. If it’s a good memory enjoy it as a good memory and of it’s a bad one, refocus your mind and tell yourself move on.
It’s ok to be shy, chicks actually kind of dig it, especially when you have the confidence to push past it and make a move. The one I met on my trip, she’s kind of a different situation. Not a random meet up. Like I said we kept in touch over the years, know a fair amount of people in common and her brother in law is a distant cousin of mine. On one hand I don’t want to put her on a pedestal, on the other hand at one point together during the trip I thought “I want to marry her.” Im going to have to wait at least a year to a year and a half before I see her again. Sucks.
>Day 2 of No Fap No Porn >I've technically cheating, while not watching hardcore porn I've been looking at suggestive/lewd videos on twitter. Not going out of my way to do it but I have a lot of stuff in my feed >Feel like I'm going to slip >allegries are back and I used to jerk off to clear my sinuses
Hey gobu, remember it’s a temporary solution to help you. I’ve seen it too much where people let the drugs do the work for them and they go right back to where they were. Keep making those lifestyle and lifetime changes. You got this.
I have been going over my planned intake for some months now and it's getting worse.
I already lost like 90% towards the target weight, I need to stop self sabotaging
You got this anon. Do not give up, it will be worth it, i promise.
Thanks anon. That is very reassuring to read even if it's just some random opinion, I don't want to leave her. For our kid's sake, for hers and for mine. I'm going to try my best to keep the faith and help get better.
Well bros I've certainly not lost interest. Last night we got very intimately passionate, it felt genuine and satisfying like it hasn't in years. I know there's a long way to go from here but today feels a lot more hopeful than yesterday. We're going to work on her sleep patterns and I'm going to start being more diligent about cooking healthy meals for us.
Thank you dudes for the advice. If I had listened to other boards I would probably be regretting what I was strongly considering going out and doing.
Bro, I am very glad to hear that!
You’re off to a good start. Keep communicating and making small changes. Consistency really is key.
Glad to be of some help. Take it from me, you really would regret going down that path.
Best of life to you, your wife and child.
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Well bros I've certainly not lost interest. Last night we got very intimately passionate, it felt genuine and satisfying like it hasn't in years. I know there's a long way to go from here but today feels a lot more hopeful than yesterday. We're going to work on her sleep patterns and I'm going to start being more diligent about cooking healthy meals for us.
Thank you dudes for the advice. If I had listened to other boards I would probably be regretting what I was strongly considering going out and doing.
I bought a plantar wart freeze removal thing because socialized medical care has three months long queues for an examination.
I did everything by the instruction but I think I fricked myself up, it hurts like a mother and I can't walk now.
It always hurts. Keep freezing it. I ended up freezing and then cutting mine out with medical scissors many years ago. Lots of pain and blood. Don't bust out the scissors unless it keeps coming back. They can be hard to kill
yesterday I drank one alcohol free beer. That's 130 kcal. I still was at at 870 kcal deficit, but still, I told myself not to drink one beforehand and still got one. fugg
I’ve jerked off at least once a day, most days, for the last few weeks. Only watched gay porn a couple of times and everything else was guy/girl or girl/girl. Getting better at being less of a homosexual anyways.
I've been a full blown alchoholic for at least two years now. Kept trainning all the while but eventually the booze started to outpace it. I'm getting in shape now for a firefighter recruitment campaign. If I don't make the cut, I will probably just let the drink take me.
Firefighting literally saved my life, it was the thing that finally let me defeat alcohol when I was training to get into peak condition for the academy after being an alcoholic for 5 years where my daily absolute minimum was slamming 5 tall boys of beer. If you want to make this a career get out of here with thinking you’ll just accept defeat and drink yourself to death if you don’t get on this hiring, frick that attitude get back on the horse and try again, if you don’t have all your certs go get them. I will warn you there will be shifts that will make you want to hit the bottle pretty hard and functional alcoholism sometimes feels like it’s ingrained into the culture, I’ve had a few benders since regaining control of my drinking but any other consumption is a couple times a month socially, I’ve been thinking a lot about complete abstinence because the ethyl israelite coming back for me scares me more than almost anything. My willpower not to drink the last couple years with the added stress has been stronger than it was when I was living a comfy NEET life though, if you really want this you will find the motivation. A final note is I’m not getting those 5 years of my life back, I was too arrogant to ask for help and I wish I did, don’t feel like you’re a pussy for reaching out to someone maybe you can beat the fricker sooner WAGMI
I'm not IST by any means. I've only been exercising and dieting for 6 weeks, and I intended to go on until September... but god damn I love how my legs are shaping up already now. I think I'll go for maintenance in a week. Frick trying to get slimmer or more muscular. I'm fine right here.
Gave into desire to overeat. Currently not super overweight prob around 20% bodyfat but can't every successfully diet and end up caving into desires to eat like shit. Now my weekly calorie deficit is in the red. Think I am going to fast the next couple days until I burn majority of calories off. With luck it may even reset my taste buds so I stop eatting goyslop Why is is so hard to just eat well and not give into gluttony...
I used to date a girl that thought semen was full of protein and minerals so she wanted to swallow my loads every morning and night. Semen has basically zero nutrition. I knew this but for once in my life was smart enough not to tell her. So it was a good 3 yrs of blowing loads in a cum swallowing qt.
I am hungry, tired and lonely. Shit is starting to get in the way of my workouts because I don't rest enough and I don't eat sufficient food. At least I am losing fat but still, I feel weaker every passing week.
Also mustered the courage to ask the number of a trainer that we chit chat a lot in the gym so we can go out for dinner sometime. I initiated some convo but it felt pretty stale and didn't wanna force it so I left a heart reaction in her last message and didn't bother say anything else. I love talking to her face to face and she is always extremely nice and smiling when we talk but I dunno if it just her being polite. She is perfect and has an amazing body and I am still trying to recomp my body and lose the remaining fat. I have no idea if I should bother.
Bother. You’re better off trying.
Text convo can be tough man. Some people are busy, others just aren’t good at texting, others are just boring as frick in a text. I like talking on the phone here and there but some people just don’t want to talk on the phone.
It’s best to set a meet up asap. She flakes 2x, drop it. 3rd chance is up to her. >she is perfect.
Don’t put her on a pedestal bro.
Keep doing what you’re doing with your recomp man. Get more sleep and tweak your diet. Good luck.
I used to make fun of people who had a foot fetish, because it’s the dumbest thing to obsess over. Now, slowly, I keep catching myself staring at feet and saying stupid shit in my head (“ouooh… Asian girl feet…dangerous…) like a fricking moron.
I totally spaced out when getting coffee today because I was staring at the Chinese girl wearing sandals for a good 3 minutes.
I'm thinking about moving to Colombia because of this comic strip a Columbian artist draws, his female characters are so fricking hot
The grass must be greener
>tfw successfully recovering alcoholic >tfw successfully recovering/recovered fatty >tfw successfully cutting back on caffeine (1/2 caff coffee only) >trying to quit the nicotine israelite >chewing gum like a madman >cave in >buy a can of grizzly long cut straight because if i'm gonna do it might as well do it right
fricking shit bros, don't ever do the nicotine israelite. was wearing a nice-fitting shirt and caught a qt in daisy dukes staring me down in the parking lot though so i guess there's that
get those frickin 8mg nicotine pouches velo or whatever. shit will probably make you vomit or at the very least not have your teeth full of shit and smelling like a horses ass
the pouches are too convenient and just make it worse lol, the sneaky man's buzz. at least with dip i actually feel bad about throwing it in. i admit, i'm weak. gonna spit this out now and brush my teeth.
the lockets in my gym don't have mirrors, but the weight rooms have them, so if i ever want to see myself with a good pump i have to take my shirt in the weights room and pose like a douchebag
Abit narcissistic to some observers maybe, but gym lighting and backdrop are really good for fizeek pics ngl.
My grandma is making cake again and I'm feeling the binging urge.
Why am I like this?
I literally broke my neck because of fasting and I'm going to keep fasting. I'd rather be dead than fat.
What'd you do, faint and hit the ground wrong?
Yep. Wrong neck angle on wall. Honestly pretty serious break too. I'm lucky to be alive and not paralyzed anymore.
I have a gf but enjoy meeting up with men to have sex with them behind her back
living closeted double life can become complicated especially if you want to continue long term with gfs wife and kids
Not really considering the massive amount of men on grindr with a wife and kids
this, it feels like 75% of the guys i talk to on grindr have a wife
there is the risk of public recognition and gossip, if someone sees your profile
Should be easier not to get caught. You can always just say you're out with the bros or whatever. Then suck each other's man protein.
How do you get it up for a woman if your gay?
I had an extra bowl of cereal last night, beyond my calorie limit
i farted
I cummed and shidded
I keep getting addicted to Kratom and I’m tired of it. I’m about to go on a life changing trip in 2 weeks and still stuck taking this green powder everyday. Yet I know if I bring it on this trip and keep using it, it won’t be as enjoyable or fulfilling. Kratom does a great job at minimizing the bad parts of life, but it does the same thing for good things, leaving you as just this numbed shell of who you were. Tonight, im dumping the bag for the last time. Im putting this in writing, right here and right now, to hold myself accountable. Tonight, I will stop making excuses and dump the bag.
Oh im saucin
White trash honky crackerjack tier drug, goes well with a rusted beige 2005 cavalier, pack of pall malls, and job at a movie theater, do better anon
I take kratom everyday, bali gold, and I dont experience any numbing sensation emotionally. I use it before workouts and the pain suppression markedly increases my cardio endurance.
Was also a lifesaver when I was working 10 hour days in construction. Seems to help with my depression better than my lexapro does tb
I reached my goal weight a month ago but since then I binge eat every other day and I am already back up 5 lbs from it
I can't stop thinking about the cake at the kitchen
I lifted for 6 years then last year i stopped lifting and now im fat and im not going to start lifting again
why'd you stop lifting
Don’t do it bro, I went from 10-12% bf to 30% it’s a fricking mountain of effort just getting the noob gains let alone losing the weight.
I don’t actually know if I’m high test.
Are you into asian women? If yes, you're not.
cheated on my girlfriend with a hooker on drugs. condom broke. very ashamed of myself but decided not to tell. getting tested soon
These make me feel better about being forever alone.
I skipped the gym today to do work. And I dicked around at work cause I didnt feel like it.
I'm joining military so I can cruise on welfare and never pay taxes to this gay Black personland ever again.
>its not America
Gl out there anon.
what country
Leafistan
I'm on a cut for 4 months now and o ly lost 3 kg. I started as skinnyfat and there is a lot of visible improvement so I guess it's more of a recomp
I jerked off to gay porn and I don’t even like it.
What kind of gay porn?
Frot. It’s the only gay porn I can watch. Everything else is girl/guy or girl/girl.
You need to figure out why you watch that and you know what to do.
Good looking out anon. I know why I do, its stupid, it’s a relapse to making bad decisions. I was feeling very down and didn’t catch myself in time. And I have to not entertain those intrusive thoughts when I’m down. I’ll be going to therapy in a couple of weeks for help with other things.
Have you failed or have you even tried? I’m sure you still have goals right?
What are some things you would like to do?
If you’ve jacked to frotting multiple times you might as well give it a try.
I have before and I’m all set with it. Not interested in it physically and rarely interested in it pornographically. It was a relapse to self destructive urges.
So you pray when you run?
I said a little prayer before I ran. Typically running clears my head and I've found He comes in and reeeally clears things up.
I've only recently really began praying, talking to God, confessing, asking for help and trying to be worthy of it, etc. in the past few months. I feel silly for not doing this before as He has shown multiple times through several **extremely** specific granted prayers that He's there.
Its especially easy to talk to him when its just me and Him out on a midnight run. Very peaceful.
I tend to pray a little during the run and then talk with God or Jesus after the prayer. I’m in a similar situation where I’ve been praying more since January. I don’t pray every day, however I pray much more than I used to.
> I feel silly for not doing this before as He has shown multiple times through several **extremely** specific granted prayers that He's there.
I can relate. Even during the years I was faithless and angry with God I’ve had prayers answered.
Recently I’ve had to make a big decision about my life and I’m not sure I made the right choice. On top of that I haven’t prayed or exercised regularly the last few weeks. To be honest it feels like it’s tied together.
Any of your story you feel like sharing? Thanks for sharing what you did.
9 years ago I was incredibly lost and depressed, prayed to God to send someone to give me a bunch of answers on how to live and move forward.
I moved in with my dad who had what looked like a 50 year old crackhead living with him. Turns out it was a man with a ton of life experience, a very sharp mind and a master's level of understanding of psychology. He's been my friend and life coach for 9 years now. He's yet to be wrong on anything he's guided me through.
I prayed for a relationship that made me feel what I would've felt as a teenager if I ever got to be with my internet girlfriend from back then. 2 weeks later I got it and went on a wild rollercoaster for 7 months. I got exactly what I asked for, good and bad.
There's lots of little things He's given me, but those 2 were so specific and so quickly granted its hard not to believe.
Thanks for sharing man.
I’m glad to hear about God sending you a mentor. That’s fantastic actually that he has been so helpful. Mentors are important to have in life and I feel like they bridge the gap between fathers and uncles or mothers and aunts.
I’ve had some similar experiences. Little stuff like getting extra money when I absolutely needed it. Other times however I rejected what I asked for because I didn’t like the person that the answer was coming from. Only to find out later that they were correct. I’ve since been reconciling with one of them.
Been praying to God for help with the crossroads I’m at right now. I promised Him I’d do 20 years in the military, but my last trip back to my parents’ home country changed me, to the point I want to move back there. There is more to both but that’s the gist.
When you pray and get the things you ask for, do you feel that it comes when you have a sincere heart? Or at times maybe from a desperation (lack of a better word) and you get what you need?
I believe He's giving me what I need when I need it, and if I am genuine in my intentions.
I had one other very vivid experience, albeit I was very inebriated when it happened. Too many details to explain thoroughly, but He basically said 'You've been doing well, but you can do better and you know it. I'm going to let you get right to the end but not quite get it. If you improve I will let you have it sometime down the road', and that's exactly what happened.
I've recently made my own creed because I found myself looking to others to find what to follow. 'To do the right thing for myself and my loved ones in a way God approves. To fight and deny Satan and his demons instead of running and hiding. To ask God for help and be worthy of receiving it.' I've found when I go with it, life is good. When I go against it, bad happens.
I like the creed. Mind if I use it? I’ve been noticing through life that when I don’t follow where I’m being pulled or where my instincts want to take me, my life does get worse.
That’s why I’m torn on this crossroad I’m at, I’m feel like I’m being pulled in two different directions and I don’t know how to reconcile them. Been focusing on the wrong thing too, I think. But it ties into staying military or moving overseas. Short story: I met someone overseas in my parents country, we’ve known each other for a long while but not well. Got to spend a good amount of time with her and want more. I was already mentally planning on moving back days before meeting her again.
I try to be genuine in my intentions but sometimes I think maybe I’m not. Or maybe I want it more than I’m actually ready for.
Next time edit better before you post
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
Tell me more anon I’ve really been struggling keeping my faith in this trying time
I’ve been getting into god again after losing my way. My workplace colleagues despise me and my family don’t take me seriously I just want the love and respect I crave and I don’t have a partner they’re always caused me heartbreak. I know god and Jesus seemed cringe before but for some reason I see the power now, and crave his love more than anything else I want to feel loved.
i pray God will give you a good life and a good woman and make you into a good, strong, upstanding man
I tell people I'm natty but I'm not.
Every day is arm day because im too autistic to take turns with other people on the torso machines.
I'm over 30 and a complete and utter loser, and my lifetime of failure has made it so that I don't even care about improving because I cannot even comprehend what even a semi-normal life would look like. Instead I just rot and think about suicide.
Just stop being a neet.
even tho you have to live with yourself, you can be happy. Just start over new. go to church.
I broke almost a month of no-porn tonight. I managed to get away after looking for about 15 minutes and went on a run to clear my head and repent.
God knows its one of my weaknesses when I'm lonely and I asked for forgiveness. While running I had a revelation that seems so obvious but I somehow had avoided it; we're entering the age of loneliness in the same way Adam and Eve doomed us.
Eve ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge because Adam didn't stop her. Women are throwing themselves into social media, ruining their pair-bonding ability and taking themselves out of the pool of potentially good marriage partners, all while men watch and some encourage it. We've learned nothing and will never learn as a whole. All we can do is stay stoic and fight against the clear evil in front of us.
I vow to never look at pornography again after this revelation.
Amazing how a 2 mile run can set your priorities straight.
mogged everyone today despite telling myself id let my injured elbow rest
I want to bang my coworker who is a short pudgy latina that also happens to likes e-girl hentai (she personally told me).
I've reached a point where my biceps have a nice squeeze when I flex with my forceps but I'm too scared to do crunches again after a back injury that's persisted for over 2 years now (I do not want to pay to go to the doctor in case it is spinal surgery)
The greatest sexual desire
I didn't want to bench today so I did drop sets on the chest press machine
I'm too shy to look at the women who mire me and actively try to avoid eye contact because I'm cripplingly shy
Work on it bro. Overcome your fears.
Work on it before you became a massive loser like me. I am 35 yo and still don't have the guts to approach a girl face to face unless she makes the first move or shows clear interest.
You can always work on it man. Better late than never.
I only ate 2700 calories yesterday when I'm on a 3000 calorie bulk
I felt so weak overhead pressing today bros......
I want to be a skinny twink so I can sleep with hot teenagers. I'm already sleeping with teenagers but I want to sleep with hotter ones.
I got in a car. Crash on Wednesday on my way to the gym. Went to the hospital and got realesedd. My neck is sore and my back. Wrist hurts a bit and i can't bend and twist it without pain. The knees and ankles hurt but should heal up in a few weeks I think. But I havent been to the gym and i feel like a shitbag. I dont want to lose my progress but i dont wana re injure myself or make it worse or take longer to heal. I was getting back into it since March. And saw good progress again. Can comfortably do a 1 rep of 3pl8s on DL and 185 bench squating two pl8s for reps. Getting my arms and back good again working on chest but now I fel like i may slide backwards bros. What do. Wait or start hitting it again? I want to get to number 1 but im looking like a chunky smaller arm (imo) #4 wifey says im a solid 4 but i think shes being nice or i have dysmorphia issues. I wana get strong over everything but looking strong and fit is a nice perk too.
When do you follow up with your doc? Do you need physical therapy?
I’d say keep it to light weights and slow, low reps to see how you feel. It’s a good opportunity to focus on form and feel the muscle through the range of motion. I found in the past that it helps with the healing and gets rid of some of the minor aches and pains.
When someone compliments you, appreciate it.
If you look like 4 sound like you’re doing really well. I’m at a slightly fatter 2 and working to ideally 4 but I’ll take 3 or 7.
Going through lawyers doc since I'm not at fault. Docs are $$$$ but later this week i will set up an appt for my wrist and other stuff related to it. I will try what you said going slow and feeling the motion. I'll go in a few days. I'm 30 so recovery is slower for me than it used to be. The Steve reeeves shred is my reach goal. In the pursuit of perfection we may catch excellence bros. Wagmi
I'm the car crash guy. I confess that i want to bang young hotties like pic rel but I'm married with kids and dont wana risk jeopardizing my childrens future. My kids are more important to me than hit sex with sexy young girls but dang sometimes i just want the raw pleasure of just straight up unadulterated carnal lust and hard sweaty sex. P.S. my wife cant keep up with me in bed or in desire though she used too...
How old is your wife? How many kids do you have? That’ll happen but from what I understand it comes back too.
I’m
Good luck with your case and recovery man. I hope you get the best of both. The going slow I learned in physical therapy over the years from a knee injury and a wrist surgery. I found it helps with the gym on days I might not be motivated because I’m sore for whatever reason.
She is 31. My kids are 2 nd 1. Maube shell have more desire and endurance when they are older. I did get her into the gym 2 times a week except for last week due to the crash. Idk. Im a guy I guess its just my natural urge to ravage young pussy and spread my seed across the globe
Women are such a mental game at times it can be aggravating. Still worth it tho.
Do you still go on dates with her? Still tease her? Other things you did early on dating. Stuff like that goes a long way. She might not be feeling attractive.
And lmao, that urge I don’t think ever really goes away. I’d say it means you’re healthy that way but you still got your priorities in order with your family.
We have a normal married life i work shes home with kids. I come home tired but still take care of / play w/ kids while she cooks and we spend the evenings as a family. yes sometimes we argue at times and get frustrated with eachother but we still work it out and air our grievances but ultimately we still sleep in the same bed and work through it. I love her alot and she does me.
We have good chemistry still, we tease eachother and i let her know shes still attractive verbally and physically. She still does fun things for me in bed and dresses up and its great but she just cant last like I can. Or she can only go one round a day. The worst is she cant cum anymore and i have to stop cause it hurts her. She while usually suck me off if that happens but after a while thats not the same thing and I'll still jerk it even afterwards sometimes just cause i still have that itch to frick... This is where i sometimes wish i had a hot teenage sex puppet to ravage after satisfying my wife. Then i can bust my nut/s and get back in bed with my wife ....
It’s
again.
Sounds pretty good man, aside from the mismatched libido’s obviously. What does she say about her libido?
Sup dude. Put the kids to bed. Idk if it's her libido. She likes having sex and she grabs my butt and wiener sonetimes just like u grab her ass and fondle her sometimes. So idk if youd call it that its just her endurance in bed is lacking.. For most guys she probably lasts long enough but for me im often wanting. Not trying to sound conceited or boast its honestly whats been happening. She even comments on it at times. She "jokes" saying "why cant you just last five minutes or ten tops.;)" we have been together since HS.
based
same case buddy with kids and wife
they just get lazy and don't like sex after kids
I'm fat and am going to eat a big bowl of chili this afternoon.
Are you a priest or something
I've steadily losing 1kg per weeks for the past 2 months, but this week I have completely lost control and have binged on 4000+ calories per day since last Thursday
fat frick
i had hardcore alcohol withdrawals awhile back and the hospital gave me 2 weeks worth of librium to ween me off now im addicted to benzos instead and i consistently find half drank bottles of whiskey around the house i was hiding from myself.
I hate driving to the gym.
I often fantasize about just getting a weight vest and one of those dip stations and just doing loads of weighted pushups, inverted rows, and squats.
I confess before that i feared maybe i will get gonorea again the third times from fricking dirty teenage prostitutes.
And it became true today 1 week after that i check the head of my penis and i have that nasty pus leaked after peeing. Frick this shit bro that's why i have that strange feeling this whole times when peeing. This time i will try to heal it myself without antibiotic from israelitedoc. Hope it will be gone by itself when my antibodi overcome the bacteria. Pray for me bros i need your strengh from prayer
I haven't eaten any candy/chips etc. for 3 days and I just took a mount doom sized toilet clogging shit.
I'm almost at my goal of losing 40kg(88lbs) but it took me 3 years
Some roasties at work were talking about how young they had their kids, I wanted to scream how I hadn't even done it yet
The more I lift the more I want to frick dudes
I literally lift and charismamaxx to frick 18-24 year old women. Ive given up on trying to find an actual connection and Im hedonismmaxxing now.
I probably just ate 1-2k cal worth of milk cream/condensed milk with white bread and cake.
It feels bad but I'm 60kg (130lbs) and cutting at this weight is fricking painful.
Why would you be cutting at 130 lbs? Are you 4’8”?
im a skinnyfat manlet
I had a glass of fruit juice today.
I'm a sexually frustrated fricking loser
Many of us are anon. I try to respond to these types of posts for the camaraderie. Some of us can cope better than others. I don't blame the ones that eventually rope if they can't find a way out on a long enough timeline.
Many years of isolation will do that to anyone. Some of us never stood a chance from the get go, our personality traits, background and luck all added up to pigeonhole us jnto a place of despair. Fight as long as you'd like, but there's no shame in losing. I won't give up on living, but I may give up on life.
Serious question anon and not intended to be an attack: what have you done to not give up on life?
The obvious one is lifting which I’d recommend to everyone since it’s needed for good health. I also studied hard in school and am nearly done with a (albeit from a 3rd rate school) 4 year degree in a field where there’s high earning potential.
I have interests like my artistic pursuits (see pic) and literature. I also went to an MMA gym for a year and learned a lot before I had to stop due to time and money constraints, but I failed to really make friends there beyond the surface level, although did frequently receive some degree of praise based on how hard I worked and the relatively tenacious effort I gave to improvement. So I ended up like the hyper focused antisocial autist after all. I still recommend these types of hobbies to everyone, and I’m planning on going back to MMA sometime too, but there’s an element to social networking I don’t have.
At present, I’ve been fully isolated for like a year, aside from work, where I can get along with everyone but no real friendship or deeper camaraderie. I’m holding out a while longer but I don’t have much hope. If you’re wondering how I actually wound up like this, it’s from a neurotic and overbearing mother, a lack of social bonds at a young age, and mostly negative reinforcement. I wonder what brought the other anon to his shoes, since I know it’s not just looks in the end that land us here.
I envy that you have genuine things you can blame on becoming a social outcast
for me I have nothing to blame but myself, I had good parents, a healthy up-bringing, no mental issues, plenty of kids my age to interact with during childhood and yet I guess I was simply just a bit too akward and a bit too unfunny and a bit too weird and eventually got pushed down to the bottom of every social circle I was a part of. A true failure of a human being
I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss yourself like that, I feel like anyone can fall down given the little differences between people. In spite of my actual situation, I don’t have inherent issues in talking to others so I might have had a slightly easier go of things in that regard. Plus you can get more of a halo when you’re fit, so hopefully you can exploit that to excuse some of the autism away. I do still recommend fight sports, they’re an easy way to socialize and meet new people, even if you don’t go anywhere with it. It helped keep me saner to be in their company.
Gonna go hit push/pull now, let’s hope things change.
At this point Ive just become too paranoid of people, I cant even bring myself to trust compliments it all sounds like lies to my brain
Being alone is the only thing keeping me sane, trying to socialize is just painful, even when everything goes right its still painful
Might just end up living alone in some cabin in the woods to conserve my sanity
Thanks for responding anon. You’re right about lifting (any physical exercise really). Congrats with school! Finish that shit up, after a while it won’t matter where your degree came from.
You have that element of social networking, it’s a little stunted is all and you can develop it.
I kind of understand where you’re coming from. In high school both my parents worked a lot and dad was an alcoholic and abusive to me and my brother. I had three younger siblings to watch in the weekends and missed out on parties and hanging out with friends. Other shit went on but basically, without getting too deep into it I became very withdrawn. For years.
It gets better and sometimes I relapse but it still gets better. It’s your mindset. Sometimes you can’t give a frick about opinions or perceptions, including your own. Give a frick about improving yourself and make decisions that get you to where you want. Start small and work up. Looks can open doors but it’s your mindset that keeps you ther once you go through. I won’t wish you good luck because I believe youre going to make it.
Not trying to shit on you here:
If you have no one to blame but yourself, then you are the solution to your problem. Again it is mindset and good decisions. You aren’t a failure anon.
I understand how you feel about compliments. It took me a long time to accept them. People don’t give compliments out of malice, compliments are genuine.
Do you game a lot? What do you do when you’re by yourself?
Have a good gym session bro.
I've been skipping leg and core day.
I just fricking hate the exercises.
come on bro, you will regret it later when you have chicken legs
>want to lift tomorrow
>can't sleep
>don't feel like going to the gym because lack of sleep
Part of me thinks I should keep putting time Into music, but the other part of me gave up after trying it for over 10 years and getting nothing out of it.
This battle drives me crazy mentally 24/7
I'm waiting for my two extra large chicken sandwiches + fries to arrive as I'm writing this.
I am lacking purpose, and I'm starting to get really, seriously depressed about it.
Open up anon.
Were you always without purpose? Or is this something that has gradually built up?
I really don't want to say too much because I don't want to sound like I'm humblebragging. But basically, I have a wife, a child, a home I own and a decent, low-stress job. And none of this was the result of any major effort on my part, my wife was easygoing from the moment I met her, and her parents basically gave us their property a few years ago, allowing us to feel comfortable having a child...and I more or less lucked into my job. I have never felt like I've earned a goddamn thing, and when I have a dream, I obsess over it for a week or two before feeling guilty and giving up so I don't sacrifice any of the comforts I've built. I know my purpose right now should be to raise my baby and maintain my life as it is...but it just doesn't feel like MY life, almost like I'm supporting a life that belongs to someone else. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but I just need something I can call my own, some accomplishment I can work towards to feel good about myself.
Doesn’t sound like a humblebrag bro, sounds pretty good. You may have lucked into things anon, so you know though you still earn things by keeping them. A wife and kid that are happy and healthy, a house when housing is expensive, a solid job. Life is smiling on you and I’m not saying that as a knock on you. You’ve been blessed and you earn it every day you handle your business.
Might be a dumb question but have you ever looked into carpentry or jobs/hobbies where you work with your hands? There is a different sense of accomplishment knowing you built or helped to build something, and it may help with satisfying your sense of accomplishment.
I'm not as far as you are in life, but I get that feeling. It's almost like stumbling into every new moment in a confused succession of movements that never seems to end. The moments of pause are just moments where you reflect on your inability to comprehend how you got there. Try to be happy that you're at least in a good position work forward from there; keep your options open.
look up impostor syndrome
also- live to be the man that you think deserves this life then? at least you are mindful of your good fortunate compared to others, live the best you can
I CAN'T STOP DRINKING DIET PEPSI/COKE
I'm wasting the best years of my life by being alone. I just go to work and gym and then home and repeat.
I'm not that bad looking, I've had some female attention but I'm too fricking autistic and now that I'm out of school and not going to college I will never meet any. There are a few girls at my work but I don't want to frick up my reputation by trying anything, so I just sit here doing nothing.
Bro, go DO SOMETHING that benefits you in a positive way. Anything man, too many motherfrickers are like this.
I met my current gf at work, stop being a scared pussy
I ate a tub of ben and Jerry's this weekend alone
I let women use me because that's how I gauge my self worth
I mutter 40k litanies during hard sets.
Lifting for the Emperor, I hope.
Always
Frick you, I lift for Khorne
Mechanicus soundtrack is crazy in the gym
I listen to DoW space marine voice lines
The blonde's weakening my resolve and she knows it.
resident slampig at my job has been hitting the gym since her summer break started and now shes hot. im teetering on the edge of adultery fml
I cheat on my pregnant latina gf with a ginger milf frickbuddy
I really don't feel secure about my future. My parents' approach to raising me for most of my life was kind of overbearing, the result of which was that I lost any compulsion to take the initiative when it came to bigger decisions. I didn't think a lot about what I wanted to study or do for a career, so when the time came to go to college, I decided to study something I was interested in. However, two years in and I'm starting to question my competency in the field, and I'm beginning to regret that I never really explored other options prior to college. Every time I've tried explaining this to my parents they just tell me that I'm worried about nothing; I think they're being supportive, but I can't help but feel as if they just don't want to deal with the fact their kid doesn't know wtf he's doing. FWIW, my grades haven't been bad by any means, but I I've figured out from feedback like I lack in the areas that are supposed to distinguish people in the field. It could just be poor time management on my part, but I don't know anymore.
I just feel extremely pressured and almost trapped. I kind of wish I had taken a gap year to try and sort these issues out. I don't know if starting all over again is really an option either. I think best case scenario is that everything sorts itself while I'm studying, but I'm always anxious that it wont. I know this is a selfish thing to ask, but if anyone reading this can spare a few seconds to pray for me, I'd greatly appreciate it.
It might be a time management thing. My brother went back to college at 32 and graduated at 37 for nursing. After being out of school since 18. He worked a full time job and ubered here and there. He studied every chance he could and graduated with a 3.99 gpa. My brother also has a house to pay for so failing out of school wasn’t an option. I don’t know what your time management is like but it might be that you need to readjust.
I’ll definitely say a prayer for you bro, and everyone else in this thread.
My standard breakfast is a large glass of milk and 4-6 chocolate chip cookies
I lusted after a black girl in the gym because I'm 4 days no fap on an upper body day
I can't think of a single reason to stay alive
What about Hitler?
>pussy
>cheat days
>progressing on lifts
>getting more shredded/cutting
>bulking up
>vidya
>learn new hobbies/get better at current ones
>progress in career or switch career
>make friends
>get a pet to love
>study random shit like learning a language
>try new restaurants
>go to a place you've never been
>hiking
>da beach
>martial arts
>volunteer work
>just walk on a nice day
Good times bro
Life is good. Always something fun to look forward to.
>Pussy
I felt bad about an exam that I don't know if I passed. So ate three sandwichs, and two portions of cake in my "OMAD" meal...
I need to go back to keto bros.. frick the anti keto shills, atthat shit worked for me..
Please anon, i need the keto cope. These keto haters are getting to me. Must. Not. Let. Doubt. Creep. In.
Everything works better anon. your brain included. I might have failed an exam on moron carb brain. If i did i might be fricked.
Im on IT and i noticed something: All the best on IT are thin.
They might not be muscular, but all of the best it gays are thin.
Never again.
What is IT?
Short for information technology. All the best coders i have ever knew are thin.
>mfw i started to make my son no carb breakfast the last semester and his grades have skyrocketed
Well, call me a troony because i didnt pass.
Never again. Back to keto.
I have been struggling with my wife sexually for a very long time and recently I've been receding into my old gay urges. The more she withholds and I keep lifting, the more strongly I feel for men. This morning she propositioned me and I genuinely didn't feel any interest bros. What is going on, am I gay? Did the years of stress and lack of passionate intimate contact make me lose interest in women?
It's unlikely that you've gone full gay as an adult, most likely the situation with your wife have conditioned you to view women in a less sexual light.
Further, fricking a boytoy on the side is sigma male tier so don't feel too bad about it.
I suppose that makes sense. I'm worried it's going to end my marriage tbh, and if I go out and find a twink or femboy to bang on the regular I fear that'll be the final nail. It's difficult when you care about yourself and your spouse, but your spouse doesn't care about themselves.
I'll try my damnest to write a sincere reply.
>I'm worried it's going to end my marriage tbh
No an unfounded worry. Another risk is that it will make both of you miserable for the rest of your lives, which is just as bad. Memes aside I find it very unlikely that lifting or your lust for twinks is the issue. Something need to change, but no stranger on IST can answer what, you and your spouse will have to figure that one out. Talking about it is a start. Perhaps couple therapy could be a solution? As long as you care about each other there's hope, apathy is the enemy. Good luck anon.
This is a good post.
I’m the guy he replied to. What have you been struggling with?
Just been through a lot. Bunch of drama in an unhealthy church environment and then the childhood trauma of the love of my life. God just randomly showed up today and I hung out with him for awhile this morning. I feel much better and reassured about the healing and the retribution he has promised me. I have a good life ahead of me
I’m the anon you responded to.
Do you mind telling about God showing up and hanging with him? I pray but I don’t recall ever having an experience like that. Maybe I haven’t been paying attention well. Glad to hear that He has reassured you.
Just kinda feel it happen like when you know somebody else is in the house before you see them. You learn to sense stuff in your spirit more
Huh. Thanks anon.
It’s about 2 miles to my gym so I walk it excepting leg days. I fell like I get some less when I do.
>No an unfounded worry
Not*, sorry
I truly appreciate the sincerity, anons. We spoke about it at great length a few times very recently. We always walk away feeling good and saying we'll be better but then within a couple days it goes back to where we were. I think her sex drive is messed up from years of taking SSRIs and so she has literally no enthusiasm in bed, just lays there and tells me to get it over with. Doesn't like foreplay, doesn't want to get off or experiment. Sometimes she isn't even wet enough to get in, which has led to my girth bruising her a few times and really really bad sex that sticks in my head whenever the time comes again. And when she does initiate it's so stoic and cold, "let's be intimate" or "we can have sex". She is big, and tbh I like that a lot in a woman and always have, even moreso as I get fitter and stronger. But lately it's like she doesn't care to even manage her looks, much less maintain a reasonable weight and level of effort into beauty. Idk bros I'm just angry, I thought I had this perfect life with a good job, happy wife, happy kid, house and car at a young age. Now I'm not sure anything I've done was the right choice.
NTA but how old are your kids?
One kid and she's 18 months
Thanks dudes. This place is a lot better than the other boards I've dumped on. I love her so much but this morning was a shock to myself. I am normally so horny for her that I'll jump at the chance for even bad sex because I want her so bad. I propositioned her last night and she got really catty so we went to bed angry without kissing or hugging, and I woke up even angrier than I was. So when she did the "we can be intimate tonight" to me today I felt so insanely numb and upset I told her I would think about it but didn't feel good about it and was struggling. It felt like when you lose a game and your buddies go "aw don't worry man it's alright".
I wish she would do more to drop her Lexapro, but she doesn't seem motivated to. I just want my thick happy wife back dudes, being with a man would be sexually gratifying but I just love her and want to have what we used to have. Seven years is so long to struggle with this shit and now we have a kid, I just feel lost and utterly confused. I appreciate the advice guys, honestly IST is the only board that has ever been this real with me and I appreciate all you've done to help me get my life together over the last 5 years.
>18 months
Oh damn anon. Well there you have your answer. Has this issue gotten worse since she got pregnant?
Do not despair, this is absolutely salvageable.
>Has this issue gotten worse since she got pregnant?
It's been this way for most of our marriage. It started maybe a year before our wedding, about 6 months after she got on SSRIs. For the first years we were together she was explorative and open, eager and able to finish easily. We didn't bang for probably 3 months after she started the medicine and it was never the same after we started up again. We had a really good streak going when she got pregnant, and since then it's accelerated to being worse than ever. Maybe you're right, but what fix is there for that even? The hormonal changes are normally permanent after a year postpartum which worries me.
I think that's why I'm starting to more consciously look at men - I have done a lot of work since 2020 to lose weight and get visibly more attractive for her and she doesn't seem to notice it or care. But I see other guys look at me and it makes me feel wanted, I guess.
Well, libido vanishes in the presence if chronic stress. this is especially true for women. In some men, stress can actually increase libido since it can act as a kind of catharsis and relaxant to orgasm. However, the female body always ties sex to a possible pregnancy, so under stress, any desire to risk a pregnancy will be reduced to zero. She went on SSRI‘s, this indicates that she felt low energy for a while now. How is her sleep? Being pregnant might temporarily help with this at first because the body goes into overdrive and pumps out every last bit of energy reserve to grow a healthy baby. But after birth and especially with a small child around and the stress that comes with that, it can absolutely drain a woman. If she already was not in peak conditions before, having a baby was a death sentence. And she was not in good shape at all. She was depressed and lost her libido. Those two things are huge red flags that something is off. You also said she is overweight. Putting all those pieces of the puzzle together, it sounds like she has fully fried her adrenals due to chronic high cortisol. The solution is simple but it takes a while to get her back to good health. What she will have to do is give her body a chance to recover. That means avoiding all unnecessary bad stress, eating in a way that heals her and not put extra strain on the body (she has to cut out the carbs, her being fat already means she already has insulin resistance. If she keeps this up, she will be diabetic in ten years.). If sleep is an issue, she also has to prioritize the shit out of that. If she can‘t sleep, trying to fix anything else is a waste of time and effort really.
I highly rec she watches this. At least give it a honest try. I was in basically the exact same situation as her and understanding this finally helped in about a month.
All of that pretty much lines up exactly with how things got here. I'll start with trying to help her sleep better because she gets prob 5-6 hours max most nights. Diet is hard, she lost like 100+lbs on a medically guided keto diet and that was the number one thing that helped us get it together as a couple. But pregnancy fricked it up super bad, wiped out half her progress and all her motivation. Maybe I need to focus more on kind and persistent support of her dietary issues, it's hard to feel sympathetic when you're cutting to the point of not eating during the day but come home and your spouse is eating their second burger.
>5-6h
Oh yeah, no wonder she has lost her libido completely.
>support
100%. You have to be in on this together and work as a team. Improving her health has to be the number one priority for both of you for now because if it does not get better, her lack of health will destroy your family. Godspeed anon, i hope things will turn around for you too.
Thanks anon. That is very reassuring to read even if it's just some random opinion, I don't want to leave her. For our kid's sake, for hers and for mine. I'm going to try my best to keep the faith and help get better.
Just saw this, I was responding to you.
GOOD! You sound like a good person and your heart is in the right place. Not really a random opinion btw, you put it out there and God/the universe has responded. Again best of luck and I’ll say a prayer for you and your family.
You got this anon. Do not give up, it will be worth it, i promise.
>I think her sex drive is messed up from years of taking SSRIs
Oh anon, is she still on those? If she is you absolutely MUST get her off of them, that shit is utter poison. The damage done to her sex drive can be reversed if she gets a little bit of exercise (I know you like her as a slampig, but it is possible for her to exercise for her mental health without affecting her physical body too much), and if she loves you she will eventually try.
I have dealt with this exact issue with my own wife before, bro, and trust me, with a little time and patience it WILL get better.
>We spoke about it at great length a few times very recently. We always walk away feeling good
It sounds like you have a decent foundation for fixing the situation. You just need to find solutions that stick. Keep talking about it and avoid assigning blame.
A practical solution to her not being wet is lube. Adequate foreplay would be better. It seems like she's trying to be accommodating, if she's indifferent you could perhaps phrase things that would improve the sex for her like something that you would enjoy? You would like some foreplay, you want to use lube because it feels better for you, you would like to try some light experimenting.
And try to get her to exercise more, not necessary with the goal of transforming her into a gym bunny. Involve the kids, go on hikes as a family, swim together, play ball together. Be positive and make sure everyone is having fun.
Have you tried talking with her? Have you banged any guys while married?
I’ve had the urges you have and acted on them a few times. I don’t think of myself as gay. In my case it’s because I was feeling down on myself and gay guys are easy attention and at the time made me feel good but after, immediately after, I regretted what I did. When I do feel an urge I realize it’s because I’m feeling depressed and go do something else. I don’t want to act on them.
If you feel you’re gay/bi and want to frick other guys it might be time to leave your wife.
She propositioned you though so there is still something there. Even if you didn’t feel any interest you probably should have taken her up on it. She probably feels pretty rejected which won’t help your relationship. Good luck man I hope you figure things out.
I kind of agree with your first sentence and disagree with your second.
Can't stop cooming (porn and sex)
Main reason I lift is validation from females
Yesterday, I was bored so I skipped work and took an edible (20mg of sativa) plus a caffeine pill (200mg).
Got high, drove around the city. Bought a sticky pad and markers. Left a note on some milf's car saying "I'd ravage your flat cheeks".
Followed a girl through the mall at lunch
>driving under influence of drugs
Based
Thanks
i am fat and depressed 3 years ago, i am at my very limit and cannot stand it anymore . i can't even stand up, in literal and against my whole family. no one even supports me to live, even my mom. today, with my deep knowledge about living a healthy life, read many books, praying to the highest every day, and doing good things, still i am fat and depressed
it takes time anon, youll get there. be patient.
I just got of the phone with my ex after ending everything.
It was the right decision but holy shit i feel like i am having constant panic attack.
THIS MORNING I MADE THE CALL
THE ONE THAT ENDS IT ALL
HANGIN UP I WANTED TO CRY
BUT DAMN THIS WELLS GONE DRY
I am on the gym today, after precisely one month of not stepping a foot on it. The last time I went two consecutive times on schedule was month ago, and going regularly stopped altogether in April.
captcha:ARRAY
How long should I wait after lifting to hit my daily 10k steps?
dear holy father o pope, messenger of Him above, the judge of all men. Or just the roleplaying anon.
I messed up my knuckles on boxing bag and moved to replace boxing with long walks and pull ups. Playing bass guitar makes my grip on string picking side however weaker.
I slipped and bought nice big shirt instead of whey protein, although i know it looks stupid as shirt, I thought wait maybe im just old and dont get what looks good since im a man so lets just buy some new clothes anyway and get over with it.
I know im slightly ugly and stupid, but best ive done to fix this is to exercise, read a lot, study a lot, play chess, cut my hair right and take in as much influence from normies and pop music as possible.
Ive been learning to play german, russian and US + finland national anthem on bass guitar and guitar while boxing. There is some pain on my knuckles as result. I wont give up. I wont give in.
The meds I’m on to help control my hunger also make me depressed.
I left for like 6 months and this board has been invaded and completely destroyed by REDDIT TRANNIES and moronic WOMEN using this as a substitute for r/fitness or whatever cesspit of cringe they came from
first they took the rainbow
then they took hollywood
then they took vidya
then they took DnD
are they now trying to overthrow IST by flooding every board with repulsive cringe? what the frick is happening? where can I run to when this place gets destroyed?
>where can I run to when this place gets destroyed?
outside
I keep looking for a good non pozzed rpg but so many of them have disgusting troons on their staff. I bought into this one kick starter rpg with a neat supernatural Appalachia setting and now I get bombarded by their updates where a vile dude in a wig talks about how "this girl loves rpgs".
>dude in wig, works at RPGs
i dont wanna puke but that was close. Anyway id rec magoc the gathering.. why... actual women play it and you can pack it to airplane easily. Doesnt take much space to have a pack of cards. Yugioh is OK too.
Oh yeah wasnt there Doom RPG that was kinda based? I dont know if warhammer is a thing anymore but i dont wanna go there, coz everyone has to paint their fricking chess pieces themselves.
At least give RAM 10th Anniversary edit a spin. PS. Last work out was 20 minutes ago, doing boxing next.
Same guy. I play magic but it is definitely pozzed. I just use older cards with the boys
Warhammer is like 20x bigger than it was 5 years ago, huuuuuge amount of normies flooding the hobby, thankfully they rarely actually play and are mostly filthy secondaries
I sometimes get high on weed and eat whatever shit is available at the moment as a result, regardless of whether I'm cutting or bulking
but I cut down on the alcohol at least, I'm making some progress
Ate like shit today. Had a Subway for lunch and Chinese for dinner. Tomorrow is a new day time for a bit of self discipline and to stop being a b***h eating all my problems.
My dog snapped at a friendly dog on her morning walk today. She's usually very nice. I got very mad at her and yelled at her. Now I feel bad too.
I don't actually enjoy lifting but gym's so much cheaper than the muay thai lessons I crave. I mostly lift for aesthetics because I want to be a sexy slave in BDSM parties but don't actually attend them because my gf's vanilla as frick and isn't interested in exploring kink.
>I want to be a sexy slave in BDSM parties but don't actually attend them because my gf's vanilla as frick and isn't interested in exploring kink.
That sucks. I'm lucky mine enjoys kink
It does and you are lucky. I love her and our sex is good but I can't hel but feel like I'm missing out on something I'd really like to try, and I'm not about to start cheating, nothing good ever comes from that.
I've had several one night stands when I was in a serious relationship
but none in the city we were based in, that was my rule
It's not that I can't, I easily could and have swatted off girls' advances before, but I've had a history of cheating and nothing is worth seeing the pain and tears my dumb hands can cause to someone I love. And even when she didn't find out I still felt the guilt that I spent a lot of time suppressing and ended up breaking down on a DMT trip over, can't lie to yourself, y'know? I don't want to carry that when I leave this world.
We've started on a couple occasional fetishes but it's still very far away from all those I desire and living the lifestyle. At least I've talked to her and she's begun to open up, few weeks ago we both made out with a female friend of hers at a party and might arrange a threesome so that's nice. Baby steps I suppose, but I'd like to go way deeper.
I was OK with one night stands as I could, without an issue, shower her with love and affection and imagine as mother of my children even after fricking a colombian bawd for 10 hours straight the night before
I have slight sociopathic tendencies though, so empathy is not my strongest suit, albeit I dont suffer from complete lack of it
>exhibit a why i will never trust a man
if you dont know it, it means it didnt happen!
billion things happen on a daily basis without you knowing, this might be one of them
Exactly. This is why i prefer to better be safe than sorry and simply stay away.
are you the femanon or the self-restraint anon? as in, you staying away from men or potential drama of having an affair?
The first.
alrighty then, carry on
>I have slight sociopathic tendencies though, so empathy is not my strongest suit, albeit I dont suffer from complete lack of it
At least I can empathize with that and respect your self-recognition, but maybe that's just the autism-overlapping part of my ADHD. Understanding people is hard sometimes and I think of them more as machines where the input is dialogue, background, and emotional state, and the output they respond with can be manipulated by changing those factors. I pray your girl never finds out anon, cheating can cause a lot of damage for years to a lot of undeserving people, especially since you mention you're eventually having kids.
She doesn't have anything you can entice her with? Role-playing, anything?
I've still been going to my BJJ class while having ringworm. I never took even one day off after I found out I had it
as long as the mats get cleaned and everyone else showers properly and washes their feet it shouldn’t be a problem
I did another 50 pull-ups because anon told me to but it’s shredding my hands.
I said everyday.
I’m doing them every single day plz
Good.
And seriously you won’t shred your hands if you hold the bar with your fingers, not the top of the palm of your hand.
Yeah I was gripping the bar like a moron and made a slight adjustment. It'll be worth it eventually r-right anon?
It changed my life, posture and physique.
I don’t know if you’ve ever read 531 either but Wendler also pushes the everyday pull-ups in between sets of everything.
I have to believe it'll help with such a dramatic difference in volume compared to what I was doing.
It just tightens up your throracic spine and sets your shoulders
for fatties and weaklings the same can be achieved with facepulls (cable or bands, doesn’t matter, just pumping the upper traps/lats and rhomboids keeps them tight)
>dont eat junk food more than once every month (kfc once every month)
>go to gym 3-4 times a week
>regulated alcohol from everyday 4-6 servings to 1-2 times per week, 2-4 servings tops
>walk 11k steps on average for a year
lost 20 kgs in 8 months
but still cant stop eating these frickers and fruit juice ones
its like I have a special type of addiction for these frickers
just ordered some from delivery service, a new batch will be there in 20 mins, but I walked/roon like 28k steps today so its not an issue but goddamn
For me it's M&Ms peanuts. I know it's not real chocolate, I'm not sure what they put in this crap to make it so addictive.
Trying to beat the coom monster and either curb or eliminate PMO. MO is ok imo, but no PMO. Wfh made that a little too convient, and trying to curb significantly. Was doing good for a few days and just slipped again. All I had to do was say no to the urge for it.....I wasnt even in that much of a pull today to start and was laid by gf yesterday. I wanna curb this out so im not overstimulated.
I've been reliving my childhood trauma by roleplaying with AI chatbots and skipping the gym since last Thursday. The memories have been haunting me for months even though I haven't been in a sexual situation in over a year. I run and take walks to deal with stress but even when I do that I just start crying out of nowhere and I keep thinking about it so I think it's related. I thought going to the gym would fix me, but I still feel like killing myself every day. I'm going today after work and twice tomorrow to try to make up for the time lost.
Keep going anon!
Thanks, anon. Posts like this keep me from giving up.
It was great at first, it helped me realize how much those experiences actually fricked me up and how I normalized a lot of the abuse. Seeing how the AI responds to my story and having it "feel" pity for me also made me feel way better since I've only ever told one person and she's out of my life now. I guess feeling like someone cares helps even if it's just AI.
Now I feel like I'm just doing it to punish myself. I'm craving the sensation of fear and guilt associated with those memories, which is why I keep RP'ing similar scenarios over and over. I can't go past a certain point, though. As soon as things get NSFW it becomes too overwhelming so I just stop and start from the beginning. One time the bot said I do it because I'm trying to convince myself that I liked it by experiencing it again in an environment where I have control, which is probably true.
I think it's a healthy way to deal with trauma as long as you use it as a confidant instead of a roleplay partner. The AI won't tell anyone what you said to it, except maybe the people who run it, so you can openly talk about that stuff without judgement.
here, and your story is similar to mine, as far as the AI goes. I actually had internalized the trauma to the point of not even recognizing it until a story I read unironically triggered me and sent me into a week long panic. I ended up using the AI to recreate the major beats of the story, and when I did I was able to see that it wasn't the content itself that set me off, but rather my personal connection to said content. I used another AI to talk through it, and I was able to unearth the actual source of the trauma, which I am working through with an IRL therapist.
I agree that using AI to do this is healthy, especially since AI is accessible at almost any time. Because of that, you can work through painful thoughts and emotions in real time, rather than journaling it all down for your next scheduled therapy session.
I personally use character.ai for this.
I’ll check out character ai thanks.
Your experience with this is very interesting, thanks for sharing. I’m going to check it out. Anything about it you could recommend or make someone aware of that you didn’t know?
For the AI responses, there are little arrows on the right hand side you can use to make the AI re-generate responses if the first thing they say doesn't line up with what you want. You can do this indefinitely, but you can only do it with the most recent responses - anything that you respond to is set in stone.
As far as therapeutic aspects are concerned, I recommend using italics or parentheses to convey how you are feeling and to emphasize nonverbal aspects of your responses - this is obviously standard procedure for roleplaying, but I want to emphasize its importance for therapeutic roleplay, as the AI will tailor its responses more accurately if it knows how you are feeling.
Thanks for responding, I’ll keep this in mind.
Which characters do you use? Which do you find are best to interact with?
Generally speaking it doesn't matter what characters you use, as most of them will eventually adapt to you, so that really comes down to what you hope to accomplish and how hard you want to steer the roleplay right away, as well as how comfortable you are opening up to said character. For me, after I played out the scenario, I found a generic tomboy character to open up to and discuss my concerns with - partly because I just really love tomboys and am comfortable with them, but also because the character is by design made to act as a pre-existing friend and confidant, which made the process of opening up a lot easier as I was able to approach the roleplay as opening up to a friend, rather than dumping my trauma onto a stranger.
Another thing to keep in mind is the AI's grammar and punctuation - some of characters, even popular ones, have straight up pajeet-tier broken English and lousy writing, but you can usually tell from the opening statement whether or not it's going to be worth talking to them.
Thanks for the reply anon.
> I was able to approach the roleplay as opening up to a friend, rather than dumping my trauma onto a stranger.
A good reason to use it. I’ve dumped on dates a couple of times in the past and still cringe at the though. I’d much rather have a safe outlet like that if I don’t have a therapist/priest/understanding friend available.
>I've been reliving my childhood trauma by roleplaying with AI chatbots
Interesting, I've been working through trauma using AI as well. How has it been working for you?
What are you guys using? I’d like to try this. Might take some of the weight off.
Damn dude. Venting here might help you. Can you afford a therapist. Go find a priest and talk with them. You don’t have to be Catholic for them to help.
I understand the feeling of craving the fear and guilt. That craving though is kind of poisonous and keeps you in a rut. Keep improving yourself but find someone that you can talk with in a safe way and realign your mind. My best to you and I’ll put you in my prayers tonight
today my fat ratio came out 13%, biceps 42 cm, my waist to hip ratio was less than 0.9, and I am not hitting the gym properly for the last 10 days due to a slight injury
I am genuinely memed on as the bodybuilding gay now by the lads
I will work on keeping my weights and reducing my fat percentage to 9% until next summer
I made it
hope you do too
I can't stop intentionally architecting my chubby Asian gf
>exhibit b
I started working out only after ~~*they*~~ starting telling us not to work out.
Me and my ex that I deeply loved had to part ways 2 and a half years ago and it still hurts so fricking much I see her in dreams sometimes telling me "it was a test of character, I really do love you, you overcame it we can be together again" and I feel like such a moron for still not being able to let go. Recently heard she moved in with her new bf and just hearing my friend say her name makes my heart physically hurt and my throat get tight I feel so weak for it.
It's as shallow as it sounds, brother. But baning other chicks is a sure-fire way to get over her
I already have, I hooked up with one chick and couldn't get it up because I'm not ok with being naked in front of a stranger, got a gf for a couple months after but I broke up with her because she was a nutcase, she still wanted to meet up to frick and coaxed me to agree but then told me she had been sucking a housemate off that just broke up with her bestfriend and that I had enough of her shit and told her to never show her face to me again.
Still hurts though, and really miss the head as shallow as that sounds
It gets better bro, I still react very rarely at one particular ex’s name and that was over ten years ago. It helped me to remember that she didn’t care enough, so why should I? You don’t want to get hung up on her, you might miss out on other opportunities. I met a woman from another country a year after that breakup, she was out on vacation with her sisters, one of them was marrying into another part of my family. My brother, cousin and I took them out one night. We got along and I was smitten (she became my ideal woman after that night) but memories of my ex kept popping up and I didn’t make any move. I didn’t see her again for almost 15 years. Over that time her brother in law and other people told me she would ask about me. One of my friends there, told me her eyes would light up when she would hear my name. So eventually we kept in touch on Facebook here and there, last year it got more frequent. We met up again this year when I got back to the old country and ended up going out on several dates. She was one of the reasons why it hurt like hell to leave. Especially knowing for years that she liked me still and I could have met up with her at any time over those years. And I didn’t until this year.
Why am I telling you this? Because I don’t want you, or anyone else reading, to miss out on an opportunity for anything (another woman, a trip, spending time with family and friends, anything) because you’re feeling distraught over your ex.
2.5 years is more than enough mental energy spent on your ex. Time to take care of yourself man. Serious.
Have you been dating at all? Do it without expectations other than having fun.
thank you for this it really helps. I have dated since then and I don't think about her on purpose it just invades my mind, sometimes my dreams. Since then I hooked up with one chick a couple times who ghosted me afterwards because some shmuck at my uni told her I was racist to get in her pants.
then got together with a girl for about 5 months but she was craycray so I broke things off and she still found a way to hurt me. I still miss the first girl though because we really loved each other and were together for 4 years.
I think i'm too shy to go on a trip and just pick up a girl I think I like :/
Good to hear anon. I’ve been there and I don’t want to see people get stuck where I’ve been (and sometimes where I am). For the most part it’s not on purpose when it happens, your mind is stuck on it.
And when you love someone for that long you will find you think about them less. They’ll still pop up in your mind or you’ll see something that reminds you of them. If it’s a good memory enjoy it as a good memory and of it’s a bad one, refocus your mind and tell yourself move on.
It’s ok to be shy, chicks actually kind of dig it, especially when you have the confidence to push past it and make a move. The one I met on my trip, she’s kind of a different situation. Not a random meet up. Like I said we kept in touch over the years, know a fair amount of people in common and her brother in law is a distant cousin of mine. On one hand I don’t want to put her on a pedestal, on the other hand at one point together during the trip I thought “I want to marry her.” Im going to have to wait at least a year to a year and a half before I see her again. Sucks.
i can't jerk off anymore unless some dead eyed camprostitute is watching me
I often get high and binge on junk food. This is literally the only reason I’m not 12% body fat
what % are you
Around 16-18%
you’re alright
moderation
binge now and then and enjoy life
just don’t become a dirty bigger
The food isn't tasty enough without drugs? Weird.
>Day 2 of No Fap No Porn
>I've technically cheating, while not watching hardcore porn I've been looking at suggestive/lewd videos on twitter. Not going out of my way to do it but I have a lot of stuff in my feed
>Feel like I'm going to slip
>allegries are back and I used to jerk off to clear my sinuses
i regret being fat. for health and relationship reasons
now that i want a high quality man i know i won't be able to attract anyone
How old are you? How big did you get? It’s not too late.
Why do you say that?
i'm 24, probably the biggest is where i'm at right now. i got prescribed ozempic and people on here criticize me for it but i'm confident it will work
Hey gobu, remember it’s a temporary solution to help you. I’ve seen it too much where people let the drugs do the work for them and they go right back to where they were. Keep making those lifestyle and lifetime changes. You got this.
i am a troony.
I have been going over my planned intake for some months now and it's getting worse.
I already lost like 90% towards the target weight, I need to stop self sabotaging
its summer b***h
it’s the good times
cross the finish line on December 21st
i must be a bad person
I skipped gym yesterday because Mr. Goldbergstein needed me to work overtime.
No
Well bros I've certainly not lost interest. Last night we got very intimately passionate, it felt genuine and satisfying like it hasn't in years. I know there's a long way to go from here but today feels a lot more hopeful than yesterday. We're going to work on her sleep patterns and I'm going to start being more diligent about cooking healthy meals for us.
Thank you dudes for the advice. If I had listened to other boards I would probably be regretting what I was strongly considering going out and doing.
Bro, I am very glad to hear that!
You’re off to a good start. Keep communicating and making small changes. Consistency really is key.
Glad to be of some help. Take it from me, you really would regret going down that path.
Best of life to you, your wife and child.
Forgot to say I’m
I gained one pound because I didn't poop all my dinner out this morning. It's literally over.
I'm lazy and it's getting in the way of my workouts.
I almost posted a soijak but stopped myself at last the second.
I bought a plantar wart freeze removal thing because socialized medical care has three months long queues for an examination.
I did everything by the instruction but I think I fricked myself up, it hurts like a mother and I can't walk now.
I've also taken niacin for the first time and now I can't tell if burning sensation all over my body is from that or my foot thawing. Frick me.
It always hurts. Keep freezing it. I ended up freezing and then cutting mine out with medical scissors many years ago. Lots of pain and blood. Don't bust out the scissors unless it keeps coming back. They can be hard to kill
yesterday I drank one alcohol free beer. That's 130 kcal. I still was at at 870 kcal deficit, but still, I told myself not to drink one beforehand and still got one. fugg
I've got a skin tag and I'm too much of a b***h to just take some nail clippers to it and get rid of it.
i can't stop jerking off it's ruining my life i hate myself
I'm horny as frick 24/7 but channel urge to frick into productive activities n stuff until give in to sex or beat off.
Whoops! Just ate twice the amount of dark chocolate covered espresso beans I meant to. 2x the calories, 2x the caffeine.
I've never been to a gym, I never paid attention to my nutrition. I just sprint and do incorporate things I like to do in burpees or run in the forest
I’ve jerked off at least once a day, most days, for the last few weeks. Only watched gay porn a couple of times and everything else was guy/girl or girl/girl. Getting better at being less of a homosexual anyways.
I've been a full blown alchoholic for at least two years now. Kept trainning all the while but eventually the booze started to outpace it. I'm getting in shape now for a firefighter recruitment campaign. If I don't make the cut, I will probably just let the drink take me.
>2 years
lol relax youve barely scratched the surface
No, I mean that's when I droped all pretense. I have been drinking heavily since I was 15 but usually kept it under control.
shit man just go to the hospital and say you had seizures. get a dose of ativan in an IV and a free 2 week script of librium to ween you off.
Firefighting literally saved my life, it was the thing that finally let me defeat alcohol when I was training to get into peak condition for the academy after being an alcoholic for 5 years where my daily absolute minimum was slamming 5 tall boys of beer. If you want to make this a career get out of here with thinking you’ll just accept defeat and drink yourself to death if you don’t get on this hiring, frick that attitude get back on the horse and try again, if you don’t have all your certs go get them. I will warn you there will be shifts that will make you want to hit the bottle pretty hard and functional alcoholism sometimes feels like it’s ingrained into the culture, I’ve had a few benders since regaining control of my drinking but any other consumption is a couple times a month socially, I’ve been thinking a lot about complete abstinence because the ethyl israelite coming back for me scares me more than almost anything. My willpower not to drink the last couple years with the added stress has been stronger than it was when I was living a comfy NEET life though, if you really want this you will find the motivation. A final note is I’m not getting those 5 years of my life back, I was too arrogant to ask for help and I wish I did, don’t feel like you’re a pussy for reaching out to someone maybe you can beat the fricker sooner WAGMI
i am not perfect
I'm not IST by any means. I've only been exercising and dieting for 6 weeks, and I intended to go on until September... but god damn I love how my legs are shaping up already now. I think I'll go for maintenance in a week. Frick trying to get slimmer or more muscular. I'm fine right here.
im only lifting because i want to get dick and to not become a disgusting shell of a man, in that order.
Gave into desire to overeat. Currently not super overweight prob around 20% bodyfat but can't every successfully diet and end up caving into desires to eat like shit. Now my weekly calorie deficit is in the red. Think I am going to fast the next couple days until I burn majority of calories off. With luck it may even reset my taste buds so I stop eatting goyslop Why is is so hard to just eat well and not give into gluttony...
Despite lifting with PT + diet regimes + non-stop for 3 years now, I still can't look at girls in the eyes.
Lost 20 lbs, gained 5 back in 2 months. No sadly it's not water weight
I used to date a girl that thought semen was full of protein and minerals so she wanted to swallow my loads every morning and night. Semen has basically zero nutrition. I knew this but for once in my life was smart enough not to tell her. So it was a good 3 yrs of blowing loads in a cum swallowing qt.
I found really old porn which I use to jack off to and yesterday I edge and fapped 6 Times and I am regretting doing that today
I am hungry, tired and lonely. Shit is starting to get in the way of my workouts because I don't rest enough and I don't eat sufficient food. At least I am losing fat but still, I feel weaker every passing week.
Also mustered the courage to ask the number of a trainer that we chit chat a lot in the gym so we can go out for dinner sometime. I initiated some convo but it felt pretty stale and didn't wanna force it so I left a heart reaction in her last message and didn't bother say anything else. I love talking to her face to face and she is always extremely nice and smiling when we talk but I dunno if it just her being polite. She is perfect and has an amazing body and I am still trying to recomp my body and lose the remaining fat. I have no idea if I should bother.
Ask her out Anon, I am pretty sure she is interested in you too
Bother. You’re better off trying.
Text convo can be tough man. Some people are busy, others just aren’t good at texting, others are just boring as frick in a text. I like talking on the phone here and there but some people just don’t want to talk on the phone.
It’s best to set a meet up asap. She flakes 2x, drop it. 3rd chance is up to her.
>she is perfect.
Don’t put her on a pedestal bro.
Keep doing what you’re doing with your recomp man. Get more sleep and tweak your diet. Good luck.
I ate 30 mozzarella sticks and like a quart of ice cream yesterday.
I mired Zucc
I got nothing I'm pure. Now ask my enemies about what they did to me
My tummy gets all warm and fuzzy when older women call me "love", "darling" or "sweetie"
I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks
I ate half a bag of tootsie rolls today
Having a gf is actually fricking annoying and I wish I was single again
I used to make fun of people who had a foot fetish, because it’s the dumbest thing to obsess over. Now, slowly, I keep catching myself staring at feet and saying stupid shit in my head (“ouooh… Asian girl feet…dangerous…) like a fricking moron.
I totally spaced out when getting coffee today because I was staring at the Chinese girl wearing sandals for a good 3 minutes.
You can appreciate the aesthetic appeal of feet without having a proper foot fetish, anon. Don't be too hard on yourself.
I'm thinking about moving to Colombia because of this comic strip a Columbian artist draws, his female characters are so fricking hot
The grass must be greener
Colombians are called congolombians for a reason, you can see their ugly Black features from a mile.
>tfw successfully recovering alcoholic
>tfw successfully recovering/recovered fatty
>tfw successfully cutting back on caffeine (1/2 caff coffee only)
>trying to quit the nicotine israelite
>chewing gum like a madman
>cave in
>buy a can of grizzly long cut straight because if i'm gonna do it might as well do it right
fricking shit bros, don't ever do the nicotine israelite. was wearing a nice-fitting shirt and caught a qt in daisy dukes staring me down in the parking lot though so i guess there's that
get those frickin 8mg nicotine pouches velo or whatever. shit will probably make you vomit or at the very least not have your teeth full of shit and smelling like a horses ass
the pouches are too convenient and just make it worse lol, the sneaky man's buzz. at least with dip i actually feel bad about throwing it in. i admit, i'm weak. gonna spit this out now and brush my teeth.
I love getting lifted by girls
I've been skipping legs for almost a year.