train yourself to have alternative stress coping habits; I am/was the same way. Common stress relievers include: Eating, Sex with Women, Violence, Happiness
I cope using gym to simulate violence, and have delusional thoughts that make me happy. Anything to not eat.
I have not gone to the gym since monday
I feel good enough, but i have a wheezing cough and don't want to to spread my shit
... at least that is what I tell myself
I tweaked my right inner elbow a few weeks ago. I think it's somewhat serious because my bicep doesn't get solid when I try to flex it a certain way. My left doesn't have this issue. I also keep aggravating it once or twice a week, so it's not getting better. I'm scared. What do?
Get it checked out moron. If you have a tendon tear there's only a short window in which it can be fixed surgically before you have to live with it forever.
I'm on a harsh cut, but use the weekends to finish my Christmas candy. 400 calories on refined sugar and now a 500 cal mixed drink because ???. What must I do to make it, father?
im doing nofap and have reached an ungodly level of horniness. i might just frick my slampig coworker monday during our lunch break (i know she has a crush on me). she is slightly chubby but fat in all the good places
I used someone else's towel at the gym today. It was such a dumb mistake. I didn't know what to do. I rushed out of there. I think I'll leave a note to let them know in the changeroom. Maybe give them a gift card or something.
I started yoyoing; ever since thanksgiving my gains have stopped. I hit my peak panic button weight, but am down again. My faith has been waivering these last 3 months. O lord I have snacked forgive me.
I'm cutting but I binge ate today at work because people brought cake and pastries for someone's birthday, had to eat dinner without any rice to make up for it
Everybody at my gym knows me and hates me. I'm the only person the front desk people no longer greet because I dont look at them even when theyre right in front of me greeting, other regulars that work out at my time Ive seen glaring or being visibly annoyed at me because I walk with an autistic stride and occasionaly grunt (its a planet fitness so nobody ever makes any noise)
When I get fit I'm considering telling people that I talk to Aphrodite and that she's taken me as her lover. I want to see how far I can take the lie if I push it with zero irony.
I am quite fit but very lean, muscular but skinny and I'm having more and more thoughts of being a femboy twink
Not that I want to become one but I want to be used sexually as a femboy by my girlfriend
See I don't want to be used by a guy cause I'm not gay, I just want my girlfriend to sexually take advantage of me
I also looking fricking hot, like I watch myself frick her in the mirror a lot so idk what that means
I'm doing a bro split despite every internet fitness guru saying it's inefficient because I'm too afraid to change it. I'd like to, because 1h and a half of exercises 5 days a week are feeling too much, but I just don't really feel confortable doing it or trust any other split
3 beers and a handful of honey roasted peanuts
maintaining at 210 and slowly recomping instead of aggressively cutting and it's shit like that making life fat
How do you get banned on IST? Shithole seems unmoderated. Conversely, I'm serving a ban on /vr/, where they now ban you for the tiniest little infraction, makes Reddit look like 8- chan.
Honestly, with how often they ban me, I think I'm pretty much done, lamao
I don't post there too often but when I used to I'd get banned from all boards for "replying to off topic garbage" all the time.
Yeah, same. Always banned for "off-topic" citations, or "trolling." Like Jesus fricking Christ, board lost its sense of humor, or has taken itself too seriously. Board used to be utterly zany and irreverent, now it feels like an uncensored PTA meeting, only no one has any kids.
someone did a Sydney Sweetney coom thread and I post this as a reaction and they banned me
My wife leaves little plastic strips left over from opening packages on the counter. It pisses me off so much that I silently collected them for a couple months and dumped the whole lot onto her pillow so she could enjoy the mess before going to bed. She learned her lesson.
My wife also used to leave cupboard doors open which drove me fricking insane, how lazy is that, so I put child locks on them higher than she could reach. After a few days she acquiesced and I won. The locks are still on them as a threat and reminder but we have had few mistakes since that time.
My roommate's shitty pitbull cross used to steal my food and beg constantly and the roommate never did anything about it despite my complaints. So one day I fed it lots of raisins and grapes, partly to harm it but also to see if this was actually a real hazard to dogs, and the dumb dog almost died. I couldn't admit to this so a lesson was never learned but it was nice to know I was the alpha dog even surreptitiously.
When I was a teenager the nearby convenience store was owned by Chinese people who would always make me uncomfortable by staring at me and accusing me of trying to steal. I went in on a hot day and squeezed about 100 chocolate bars and used a razor blade to cut open about 50 bags of chips, all undetected. Didn't cost them very much but it made me feel better.
Someone in my old neighborhood used to steal figs from my trees and also pick my strawberries near the road. I confronted them several times, once with video evidence, and they first denied it then told me to go frick myself. I knew they didn't have video surveillance so I waited almost a year until they went on vacation and I dumped 40 lbs of salt in their precious rhododendron garden. I would either pretend to knock on their door and throw pocketfuls of salt or walk my dog at night and dump salt hidden in dog shit bags. Their rhododendrons all died within a couple months. After trying to resod and replant they just spread riverstone.
Yeah, it's advice I need to take too. Just because I know what to do doesn't mean I'm good at doing it. But maybe someone else can do it better. I'm trying to get off it too. Using it less and less each day hopefully.
Though also, I don't have the same problems he confesses to have, and it doesn't bother me the way it bothers him, so I consider them two different situations
Serving my third consecutive ban from IST has convinced me that there new homosexual mods/jannys over there who don't know how board culture works. But its helpful because it's taught me alot. I'm 35. There's nothing for me to prove in videogames anymore. I've pursued videogames and porn since a young age to the point where I can say that being an archivist was like an actual hobby. Instead of building relationships or going on vacations I would collect videos of strangers fricking and get pissy with others when I wanted to see them to rub one out but couldn't. Crazy behavior. And with SJWs, feminists, gays and trannies actively ruining escapist fantasy I've decided to stop caring so fricking much about corporations and IPs I don't own making decisions I don't approve of. I don't have enough life experience or anything to call my own that I can afford to keep being so caught up in the culture war. I'll give a view and a like to internet personalities that have the passion and time of day to call out contradictions and shit on products that deserve it. But I can't feed into it or actively chase it.
WIthout porn and videogames to feed me a constant loop of distraction, of trying attain a false sense of achievement, I have a virtually untapped hard drive just waiting to be full of things. My brain, my life, is the exact same. Delete all of the bullshit and I find I have so much space to slot things in that matter. I know it'll come a time where I have to cut social media as well. I've been using the internet as a surrogate friend since I was 10 years old. If I don't break out of this funk I'll never find out who I am or what I'm meant to become.
I've been reading Marcus Aurelius, David Goggins and listening to motivational channels. I listen to professionals in careers I'm interested in describe how to break in instead of watching streamers bullshit to me about videogames that don't matter. Lost too many of my years to jacking off, man. Gotta lift and tell the truth more.
Was supposed to be lean bulking on 2300 kcal/day but this week I saw the same number on the scale as mid-december while previously believing I had gained a couple kilograms and it pissed me off so much I overate 3 days in a row pushing my weekly total towards 2500. I'm not sure it's a sin, but it sure felt like one.
I can't keep a sleep schedule for the life of me, I simply don't have responsibilities right now that require me to wake up at certain times. I can willpower my way through a lot but when I'm sleeping or sleepy all the willpower disappears.
>lifted for 5 years >took a 5 year break >been lifting from last november >lifts already heavier than before the break
What the frick did i do for 5 years
My former roommate (who is a femoid) in the past few months has turned from a skinny little thing to a nascent ogre-mode muscle mommy after taking creatine. She has feeling and looking as "beefy" as she does but I wish I could be living with her again, stuffing her full of high protein meals, and going gym with her. She also does pole dancing which a big powerlifter belly would get in the way of but I'd motorboat the frick out of it if I got her to grow one.
41 old. Still pay and have sex with teenage hooker. They still think im in my 20-30 age range because i look youthful and have my hair. Also im in shape. But all this empty sex without love slowly killing me inside and make me feel empty. Depressed. Have relationship with 24 old hooker that is also crushing my mental health. I live a worthless life now and stressing about the future. What will you do if you are me?
Im a neet who live off my saving but it will burn out in maybe 1-2 year if i continue living my life like this without any change
I have fallen out of all the habits I built up during winter break and I have a heavy sense of nihilism. Part of me doesn't mind this, and I can def still graduate, go to class, and just frick around on the internet all day. But another part of me still wants to develop. These includes hitting lower body fat percentage, writing, reading and drawing. It's almost like if I miss one thing, my mind tells me its over, even though its not. I'll try again next week tho so I won't give up completely.
I took kratom every day for 7 years. 7 years of no gains. 7 years of nuked testosterone. I was weak and depressed, and I thought this is how life is. It was the plant. The plant was sucking my vitality out of me.
My husband frequents this site, mostly /misc/ and IST. I asked him which board he recommended to a fatty like me, and he said IST so I could stop humiliating him every time I try to hold his hand in public. I'm not sure why he married me (I'm ugly and have never been thin and he's 6'5 and beautiful). I was not overweight when we first got married, but after having a baby, I have let myself go horribly. I think I have PPD which is no excuse since depression is supposed to make you uninterested in eating which I am but I still eat to fill the emptiness like the worthless piece of shit I am.
I told him I would understand if he wanted to leave me, and he got offended and said if I didn't shut up about it, he'd consider it. I also know that he is frustrated I didn't give him a son but rather a needy, clingy, useless daughter.
The only things I've done right so far are breastfeeding, cloth diapering (and not making my husband change diapers), and having a completely unmedicated birth with no complications.
I am 6 months postpartum and still 25+ lbs over where I was before I got pregnant, and back then I was still a good 30 lbs heavier than I wanted to be.
I'm a disgusting pig, so I've decided to start fasting one day per week since the new year. I've lost 10 lbs of water so far which is sad and disappointing. The baby doesn't want to sleep, be put down, or spend time away from me at all. I feel like I'm running on fumes. I get maybe 4 hours of broken sleep per night.
So my confession is that I plan to kill myself as soon as the baby turns 1 year and doesn't need my milk anymore. Single dads can remarry quite easily from what I've read (at least, more easily than single moms), and this way he can trade up to a better, less defective and used up model. I'm tempted to start pumping milk so I can build a stash in the freezer and possibly die by April instead. Not sure on timing yet, any of you anons care to weigh in?
I had a couple of those fun-size Reese's cups last week.
Haven't jerk offd since the year started. Fired up my dating apps again for the first time since I lost weight. Had a few matches, but I seem to get hit on by a lotta single mommies and/or hambeasts. It's demoralizing when OKCupid tells me "Ooops! You just missed a match" when I passed on some 300 lb blue-haired goblin of indeterminate gender.
But, I dunno. I used to frick a lot when I drank and shit. But it all felt hollow and was just a momentary bit of fun. Now, I'm a year and some change without getting laid. I feel a lot more focused. A lot less concerned with sex.
Hoping this is the last year I spend alone though. It'd be nice to be held again or to do couple stuff.
>approached a cute african girl on my way home from church >she was in church as well >we were both coming home the same way >talk for a bit and she was nice and kind. >unlike some white girls, she actually asked me my name after I asked hers.
She was midnight black. This was at 20h so I could only see her eyes and red lips lol. I mean I would, but I'm racist. Still was nice to talk to someone and practice. Just with I had the same courage and game to talk to the cute strawberry blond that sat in front of me(with her family)
Used to be a ISTizen back in the day and ended up throwing away all my gains for college.
Getting back into it at 25 and I see absolutely no reason not to get on gear as soon as all my muscle memory gains from the past come back. I'm weaker and my time is running out to be who I want to be. My dick already doesn't work so aside from balding there's nothing really telling me not to except the law.
I lost 100lbs in college, got a girlfriend, she took me out to bars, developed a lust for beer. Stopped dieting, gained back weight. Lost girl, spent 6 years drinking most days of the week and eating to soak up the alcohol. Losing my virginity and developing a social was the worst thing I did in my 20s. Stay autistic.
Pass year I’ve been getting back to my autistic ways, had a couple super autistic interactions with women. Focused on my goals. Actually got to work on the crew of a film and met some cool actors, started filming for my buddies YouTube channel, Cut out soda, started this year and I’ve cut out most carbs aside from veggies.
I don't know if this is the right place, but it kinda fits, I wanted to open a thread here about my weight and mental condition, but I fear a ban...and i truly need a way to vent.
Right now I feel very very bad, I skipped dinner, and I keep telling myself it must be the "chemicals in the brain" but the situation is beyond bad, I don't think it is "depression" when you have real horrible things going on.
Everything I had was destroyed, plain and simple. Covid took away my job,(and the demonic girl who was using me) when I was gonna start again in summer 2020 my brother got hit by a brain cancer.
I was shocked, soon after my dog also got sick, and died the Christmass of the same year. The job opportunity I had didn't come to fruition till 2022....gem dealing.
I met my brother (who left us to stay with his wife) and I told him, and I remember: "I got it, I got the job, I am gonna fix everything"
For a while everything went well, then a colleague of my boss got robbed for 2 mil. It was already over I knew it, but the news of my nephew, son of my brother, being born, made me feel somehow hopeful. I refuse to congratulate with him via phone. Wanted to do things properly. I arrived in Rome, spent the night there, the following morning I got a call by my father telling me my brother was dead...5-10 days after turning into a dad. They told me he had years.
For a while I was hoping to jumpstart the gem work, but it didn't work, I ended up victim of a multilevel marketing. I wanted to start yet again this January but when I woke up the 7th of Jan I've found my father dead in his sleep.
In two days i am gonna start a job for a coop, 1000 euro per month, it is something I guess.
I got very fat in the meanwhile, I am at 84 in the morning (178-9) of stature....I am 32, and I don't know what is gonna be of me, and my mother...I just suffer, nothing gives me peace, I numb myself with friends, and games, but after 1 hour or so i am hurt again.
Not even sleep is safe, today I took a nap, and I woke covered in tears. I wish I could talk with a therapist, but I don't have the money (like the people that truly needs them) for it.
In 5 hours I am gonna wake up, go to the bar, eat the usual sanwich and a cappuccino and that's gonna be the best part of my week probably.
Any idea or advice are welcome.
By the way, i am that moron that left the serial number of the guns of the dad on k sorry guys, I can't think straight, literally...the other day I kept counting the same cents for 20 minutes in front of the balcony, the barman helped me snap out of it.
Sorry for the long post, I just need to talk with someone
I don't know if this is the right place, but it kinda fits, I wanted to open a thread here about my weight and mental condition, but I fear a ban...and i truly need a way to vent.
Right now I feel very very bad, I skipped dinner, and I keep telling myself it must be the "chemicals in the brain" but the situation is beyond bad, I don't think it is "depression" when you have real horrible things going on.
Everything I had was destroyed, plain and simple. Covid took away my job,(and the demonic girl who was using me) when I was gonna start again in summer 2020 my brother got hit by a brain cancer.
I was shocked, soon after my dog also got sick, and died the Christmass of the same year. The job opportunity I had didn't come to fruition till 2022....gem dealing.
I met my brother (who left us to stay with his wife) and I told him, and I remember: "I got it, I got the job, I am gonna fix everything"
For a while everything went well, then a colleague of my boss got robbed for 2 mil. It was already over I knew it, but the news of my nephew, son of my brother, being born, made me feel somehow hopeful. I refuse to congratulate with him via phone. Wanted to do things properly. I arrived in Rome, spent the night there, the following morning I got a call by my father telling me my brother was dead...5-10 days after turning into a dad. They told me he had years.
For a while I was hoping to jumpstart the gem work, but it didn't work, I ended up victim of a multilevel marketing. I wanted to start yet again this January but when I woke up the 7th of Jan I've found my father dead in his sleep.
In two days i am gonna start a job for a coop, 1000 euro per month, it is something I guess.
I got very fat in the meanwhile, I am at 84 in the morning (178-9) of stature....I am 32, and I don't know what is gonna be of me, and my mother...I just suffer, nothing gives me peace, I numb myself with friends, and games, but after 1 hour or so i am hurt again.
Not much you can do anon but keep living for them and your family. Shit will always hurt but in time you will just carry them with you. Now you know life can end in an instant. Be a good uncle for the kid to look up to
Not even sleep is safe, today I took a nap, and I woke covered in tears. I wish I could talk with a therapist, but I don't have the money (like the people that truly needs them) for it.
In 5 hours I am gonna wake up, go to the bar, eat the usual sanwich and a cappuccino and that's gonna be the best part of my week probably.
Any idea or advice are welcome.
By the way, i am that moron that left the serial number of the guns of the dad on k sorry guys, I can't think straight, literally...the other day I kept counting the same cents for 20 minutes in front of the balcony, the barman helped me snap out of it.
Sorry for the long post, I just need to talk with someone
Damn.
I am very sorry anon, I don't really have any remedy for your problems but you stil being there speaks of your resilience
I hope things work out for you
Everyday I just keep adding more and more sins to my list... everyday.....I can't confess them all...only the LORD can count them and view them all....
forgive me...
im indian and i continue to post on IST even tho the entire board (and internet and world) hates me
uh oh stinky!
victimposting will make people dislike you more.
drank some shit today gonna be honest
I was supposed to cut and get lean but I have been binge eating to cope with stress from uni
>binge eating to cope with stress from uni
You don't know what stress is fatty. Grow up and handle your shit. Wasted trips too
train yourself to have alternative stress coping habits; I am/was the same way. Common stress relievers include: Eating, Sex with Women, Violence, Happiness
I cope using gym to simulate violence, and have delusional thoughts that make me happy. Anything to not eat.
I only managed to lose weight after my diploma. I can't multitask.
I have not gone to the gym since monday
I feel good enough, but i have a wheezing cough and don't want to to spread my shit
... at least that is what I tell myself
I tweaked my right inner elbow a few weeks ago. I think it's somewhat serious because my bicep doesn't get solid when I try to flex it a certain way. My left doesn't have this issue. I also keep aggravating it once or twice a week, so it's not getting better. I'm scared. What do?
Get it checked out moron. If you have a tendon tear there's only a short window in which it can be fixed surgically before you have to live with it forever.
I gave up on powerlifting type workouts a while ago and mainly do kettlebells, calisthenics, and machines.
I've looked at everything stevencarson has put out. IYKYK
I’ve given up
I'm on a harsh cut, but use the weekends to finish my Christmas candy. 400 calories on refined sugar and now a 500 cal mixed drink because ???. What must I do to make it, father?
im doing nofap and have reached an ungodly level of horniness. i might just frick my slampig coworker monday during our lunch break (i know she has a crush on me). she is slightly chubby but fat in all the good places
I used someone else's towel at the gym today. It was such a dumb mistake. I didn't know what to do. I rushed out of there. I think I'll leave a note to let them know in the changeroom. Maybe give them a gift card or something.
I forgive you. Please don't mention it.
I pay women to frick me and I love it
So you’ve been married a few times, is what you’re saying?
um...this is a fitness board. Does that help you lose weight?
Yes it’s good cardio and good for your hips. Quads too since you have to sometimes hold certain angles depending on their height
Me too
It's way cheaper to frick a different prostitute a week than to have a wife
Idk my gf gives me money
But you’re stuck fricking the same pussy.
And you’re broke because you have to ask your gf for money lol no bueno
I started yoyoing; ever since thanksgiving my gains have stopped. I hit my peak panic button weight, but am down again. My faith has been waivering these last 3 months. O lord I have snacked forgive me.
I'm on IST despite having lost every reason to be here.
We're a social species. You didn't lose anything.
I'm cutting but I binge ate today at work because people brought cake and pastries for someone's birthday, had to eat dinner without any rice to make up for it
Everybody at my gym knows me and hates me. I'm the only person the front desk people no longer greet because I dont look at them even when theyre right in front of me greeting, other regulars that work out at my time Ive seen glaring or being visibly annoyed at me because I walk with an autistic stride and occasionaly grunt (its a planet fitness so nobody ever makes any noise)
LIFT
Any publicity is good publicity
i jerked off this morning, i wasnt watching anything weird tho
I keep skipping workouts because I’m ”tired”.
But the truth is, I’m just lazy
When I get fit I'm considering telling people that I talk to Aphrodite and that she's taken me as her lover. I want to see how far I can take the lie if I push it with zero irony.
Whenever I stop jerking off I get the urge to put things in my ass.
>it's day 5
put sharpie in pooper
Not big enough.
It's never big enough
I am quite fit but very lean, muscular but skinny and I'm having more and more thoughts of being a femboy twink
Not that I want to become one but I want to be used sexually as a femboy by my girlfriend
I'd use you sexually (with my penis)
See I don't want to be used by a guy cause I'm not gay, I just want my girlfriend to sexually take advantage of me
I also looking fricking hot, like I watch myself frick her in the mirror a lot so idk what that means
Patrick Bateman
I'm doing a bro split despite every internet fitness guru saying it's inefficient because I'm too afraid to change it. I'd like to, because 1h and a half of exercises 5 days a week are feeling too much, but I just don't really feel confortable doing it or trust any other split
Splits are fine, good even. Sure there are more efficient ways but who cares
Anon bro split is most time efficient split wise bc each muscle only once per week.
3 beers and a handful of honey roasted peanuts
maintaining at 210 and slowly recomping instead of aggressively cutting and it's shit like that making life fat
I jerk off to executrix femdom stuff.
I been visiting LULZ since I am currently serving a ban on tv
How do you get banned on IST? Shithole seems unmoderated. Conversely, I'm serving a ban on /vr/, where they now ban you for the tiniest little infraction, makes Reddit look like 8- chan.
Stop playing videogame
Honestly, with how often they ban me, I think I'm pretty much done, lamao
Yeah, same. Always banned for "off-topic" citations, or "trolling." Like Jesus fricking Christ, board lost its sense of humor, or has taken itself too seriously. Board used to be utterly zany and irreverent, now it feels like an uncensored PTA meeting, only no one has any kids.
LMAO
What a bunch of sensitive shitters
I don't post there too often but when I used to I'd get banned from all boards for "replying to off topic garbage" all the time.
someone did a Sydney Sweetney coom thread and I post this as a reaction and they banned me
its fricking over, i will simply not recover ever aga- WE'RE SO BA- its over
My wife leaves little plastic strips left over from opening packages on the counter. It pisses me off so much that I silently collected them for a couple months and dumped the whole lot onto her pillow so she could enjoy the mess before going to bed. She learned her lesson.
My wife also used to leave cupboard doors open which drove me fricking insane, how lazy is that, so I put child locks on them higher than she could reach. After a few days she acquiesced and I won. The locks are still on them as a threat and reminder but we have had few mistakes since that time.
My roommate's shitty pitbull cross used to steal my food and beg constantly and the roommate never did anything about it despite my complaints. So one day I fed it lots of raisins and grapes, partly to harm it but also to see if this was actually a real hazard to dogs, and the dumb dog almost died. I couldn't admit to this so a lesson was never learned but it was nice to know I was the alpha dog even surreptitiously.
When I was a teenager the nearby convenience store was owned by Chinese people who would always make me uncomfortable by staring at me and accusing me of trying to steal. I went in on a hot day and squeezed about 100 chocolate bars and used a razor blade to cut open about 50 bags of chips, all undetected. Didn't cost them very much but it made me feel better.
Someone in my old neighborhood used to steal figs from my trees and also pick my strawberries near the road. I confronted them several times, once with video evidence, and they first denied it then told me to go frick myself. I knew they didn't have video surveillance so I waited almost a year until they went on vacation and I dumped 40 lbs of salt in their precious rhododendron garden. I would either pretend to knock on their door and throw pocketfuls of salt or walk my dog at night and dump salt hidden in dog shit bags. Their rhododendrons all died within a couple months. After trying to resod and replant they just spread riverstone.
I'm a porn addict.
Also no gf.
Get off the Internet. Truly. Make this your last post. And your first step into a new life.
You're still on the internet
Yeah, it's advice I need to take too. Just because I know what to do doesn't mean I'm good at doing it. But maybe someone else can do it better. I'm trying to get off it too. Using it less and less each day hopefully.
Though also, I don't have the same problems he confesses to have, and it doesn't bother me the way it bothers him, so I consider them two different situations
Serving my third consecutive ban from IST has convinced me that there new homosexual mods/jannys over there who don't know how board culture works. But its helpful because it's taught me alot. I'm 35. There's nothing for me to prove in videogames anymore. I've pursued videogames and porn since a young age to the point where I can say that being an archivist was like an actual hobby. Instead of building relationships or going on vacations I would collect videos of strangers fricking and get pissy with others when I wanted to see them to rub one out but couldn't. Crazy behavior. And with SJWs, feminists, gays and trannies actively ruining escapist fantasy I've decided to stop caring so fricking much about corporations and IPs I don't own making decisions I don't approve of. I don't have enough life experience or anything to call my own that I can afford to keep being so caught up in the culture war. I'll give a view and a like to internet personalities that have the passion and time of day to call out contradictions and shit on products that deserve it. But I can't feed into it or actively chase it.
WIthout porn and videogames to feed me a constant loop of distraction, of trying attain a false sense of achievement, I have a virtually untapped hard drive just waiting to be full of things. My brain, my life, is the exact same. Delete all of the bullshit and I find I have so much space to slot things in that matter. I know it'll come a time where I have to cut social media as well. I've been using the internet as a surrogate friend since I was 10 years old. If I don't break out of this funk I'll never find out who I am or what I'm meant to become.
I've been reading Marcus Aurelius, David Goggins and listening to motivational channels. I listen to professionals in careers I'm interested in describe how to break in instead of watching streamers bullshit to me about videogames that don't matter. Lost too many of my years to jacking off, man. Gotta lift and tell the truth more.
Nice going, you can do it!
Was supposed to be lean bulking on 2300 kcal/day but this week I saw the same number on the scale as mid-december while previously believing I had gained a couple kilograms and it pissed me off so much I overate 3 days in a row pushing my weekly total towards 2500. I'm not sure it's a sin, but it sure felt like one.
I can't keep a sleep schedule for the life of me, I simply don't have responsibilities right now that require me to wake up at certain times. I can willpower my way through a lot but when I'm sleeping or sleepy all the willpower disappears.
>lifted for 5 years
>took a 5 year break
>been lifting from last november
>lifts already heavier than before the break
What the frick did i do for 5 years
I'm tired
My former roommate (who is a femoid) in the past few months has turned from a skinny little thing to a nascent ogre-mode muscle mommy after taking creatine. She has feeling and looking as "beefy" as she does but I wish I could be living with her again, stuffing her full of high protein meals, and going gym with her. She also does pole dancing which a big powerlifter belly would get in the way of but I'd motorboat the frick out of it if I got her to grow one.
I stole 3k from my dad.
I stole 6k worth of stuff
I stole some random glasses
I stole protein powder from a cousin
I stole gf from ex friend
I stole bench press from local gym
I stole squat rack from gym in other city
Can i get your pardon dear lord.
there's no salvation for dark skinned individuals
41 old. Still pay and have sex with teenage hooker. They still think im in my 20-30 age range because i look youthful and have my hair. Also im in shape. But all this empty sex without love slowly killing me inside and make me feel empty. Depressed. Have relationship with 24 old hooker that is also crushing my mental health. I live a worthless life now and stressing about the future. What will you do if you are me?
Im a neet who live off my saving but it will burn out in maybe 1-2 year if i continue living my life like this without any change
I have fallen out of all the habits I built up during winter break and I have a heavy sense of nihilism. Part of me doesn't mind this, and I can def still graduate, go to class, and just frick around on the internet all day. But another part of me still wants to develop. These includes hitting lower body fat percentage, writing, reading and drawing. It's almost like if I miss one thing, my mind tells me its over, even though its not. I'll try again next week tho so I won't give up completely.
i lift, and pretty well. i pretend to be a dyel and give false advice because it's funny.
I took kratom every day for 7 years. 7 years of no gains. 7 years of nuked testosterone. I was weak and depressed, and I thought this is how life is. It was the plant. The plant was sucking my vitality out of me.
Lads
My husband frequents this site, mostly /misc/ and IST. I asked him which board he recommended to a fatty like me, and he said IST so I could stop humiliating him every time I try to hold his hand in public. I'm not sure why he married me (I'm ugly and have never been thin and he's 6'5 and beautiful). I was not overweight when we first got married, but after having a baby, I have let myself go horribly. I think I have PPD which is no excuse since depression is supposed to make you uninterested in eating which I am but I still eat to fill the emptiness like the worthless piece of shit I am.
I told him I would understand if he wanted to leave me, and he got offended and said if I didn't shut up about it, he'd consider it. I also know that he is frustrated I didn't give him a son but rather a needy, clingy, useless daughter.
The only things I've done right so far are breastfeeding, cloth diapering (and not making my husband change diapers), and having a completely unmedicated birth with no complications.
I am 6 months postpartum and still 25+ lbs over where I was before I got pregnant, and back then I was still a good 30 lbs heavier than I wanted to be.
I'm a disgusting pig, so I've decided to start fasting one day per week since the new year. I've lost 10 lbs of water so far which is sad and disappointing. The baby doesn't want to sleep, be put down, or spend time away from me at all. I feel like I'm running on fumes. I get maybe 4 hours of broken sleep per night.
So my confession is that I plan to kill myself as soon as the baby turns 1 year and doesn't need my milk anymore. Single dads can remarry quite easily from what I've read (at least, more easily than single moms), and this way he can trade up to a better, less defective and used up model. I'm tempted to start pumping milk so I can build a stash in the freezer and possibly die by April instead. Not sure on timing yet, any of you anons care to weigh in?
>wordswordswordswords
ENOUGH! Just pick up a barbell and eat less, fatty.
LMAO agreed not that hard to lose weight, eat less plus workout
>there are people here who actually believe in this shit
4 cookies and a wank to outrageous porn.
I had a couple of those fun-size Reese's cups last week.
Haven't jerk offd since the year started. Fired up my dating apps again for the first time since I lost weight. Had a few matches, but I seem to get hit on by a lotta single mommies and/or hambeasts. It's demoralizing when OKCupid tells me "Ooops! You just missed a match" when I passed on some 300 lb blue-haired goblin of indeterminate gender.
But, I dunno. I used to frick a lot when I drank and shit. But it all felt hollow and was just a momentary bit of fun. Now, I'm a year and some change without getting laid. I feel a lot more focused. A lot less concerned with sex.
Hoping this is the last year I spend alone though. It'd be nice to be held again or to do couple stuff.
>approached a cute african girl on my way home from church
>she was in church as well
>we were both coming home the same way
>talk for a bit and she was nice and kind.
>unlike some white girls, she actually asked me my name after I asked hers.
She was midnight black. This was at 20h so I could only see her eyes and red lips lol. I mean I would, but I'm racist. Still was nice to talk to someone and practice. Just with I had the same courage and game to talk to the cute strawberry blond that sat in front of me(with her family)
Used to be a ISTizen back in the day and ended up throwing away all my gains for college.
Getting back into it at 25 and I see absolutely no reason not to get on gear as soon as all my muscle memory gains from the past come back. I'm weaker and my time is running out to be who I want to be. My dick already doesn't work so aside from balding there's nothing really telling me not to except the law.
I spent the last 6 years sinning.
I lost 100lbs in college, got a girlfriend, she took me out to bars, developed a lust for beer. Stopped dieting, gained back weight. Lost girl, spent 6 years drinking most days of the week and eating to soak up the alcohol. Losing my virginity and developing a social was the worst thing I did in my 20s. Stay autistic.
Pass year I’ve been getting back to my autistic ways, had a couple super autistic interactions with women. Focused on my goals. Actually got to work on the crew of a film and met some cool actors, started filming for my buddies YouTube channel, Cut out soda, started this year and I’ve cut out most carbs aside from veggies.
Just broke a 36hr fast with 923 calorie OMAD.
I don't know if this is the right place, but it kinda fits, I wanted to open a thread here about my weight and mental condition, but I fear a ban...and i truly need a way to vent.
Right now I feel very very bad, I skipped dinner, and I keep telling myself it must be the "chemicals in the brain" but the situation is beyond bad, I don't think it is "depression" when you have real horrible things going on.
Everything I had was destroyed, plain and simple. Covid took away my job,(and the demonic girl who was using me) when I was gonna start again in summer 2020 my brother got hit by a brain cancer.
I was shocked, soon after my dog also got sick, and died the Christmass of the same year. The job opportunity I had didn't come to fruition till 2022....gem dealing.
I met my brother (who left us to stay with his wife) and I told him, and I remember: "I got it, I got the job, I am gonna fix everything"
For a while everything went well, then a colleague of my boss got robbed for 2 mil. It was already over I knew it, but the news of my nephew, son of my brother, being born, made me feel somehow hopeful. I refuse to congratulate with him via phone. Wanted to do things properly. I arrived in Rome, spent the night there, the following morning I got a call by my father telling me my brother was dead...5-10 days after turning into a dad. They told me he had years.
For a while I was hoping to jumpstart the gem work, but it didn't work, I ended up victim of a multilevel marketing. I wanted to start yet again this January but when I woke up the 7th of Jan I've found my father dead in his sleep.
In two days i am gonna start a job for a coop, 1000 euro per month, it is something I guess.
I got very fat in the meanwhile, I am at 84 in the morning (178-9) of stature....I am 32, and I don't know what is gonna be of me, and my mother...I just suffer, nothing gives me peace, I numb myself with friends, and games, but after 1 hour or so i am hurt again.
Not even sleep is safe, today I took a nap, and I woke covered in tears. I wish I could talk with a therapist, but I don't have the money (like the people that truly needs them) for it.
In 5 hours I am gonna wake up, go to the bar, eat the usual sanwich and a cappuccino and that's gonna be the best part of my week probably.
Any idea or advice are welcome.
By the way, i am that moron that left the serial number of the guns of the dad on k sorry guys, I can't think straight, literally...the other day I kept counting the same cents for 20 minutes in front of the balcony, the barman helped me snap out of it.
Sorry for the long post, I just need to talk with someone
Not much you can do anon but keep living for them and your family. Shit will always hurt but in time you will just carry them with you. Now you know life can end in an instant. Be a good uncle for the kid to look up to
Damn.
I am very sorry anon, I don't really have any remedy for your problems but you stil being there speaks of your resilience
I hope things work out for you
Everyday I just keep adding more and more sins to my list... everyday.....I can't confess them all...only the LORD can count them and view them all....
forgive me...