>qt gf of 3 years breaks up with me a month ago >did it over face time because long distance and I was traveling for work >don’t show any emotion because I was unironically at the airport >month passes >start swiping >have multiple girls that want to hook up and made out with one >today >knowing that sex will likely happen this week I text her to see how she is >ask if she’s had any second thoughts >she tells me no and that my lack of emotion more or less confirmed her decision
Girl is supposed to come over to my place in 2 hours. I just want her back bros. I had the perfect girl.
She’s a med student expecting to make 400-500k with no debt and I make 63k a year and gained a substantial amount of weight following surgery. I’ve lost 30 pounds since then but I understand that it’s not attractive and that I’m not the same man she started dating.
She said that it was because our goals didn’t align
>She’s a med student expecting to make 400-500k with no debt
Those are some high expectations. 500k is extremely high end for a Doctor, and no med school loans means she came from a seriously wealthy family and you likely stood no shot unless you stack up.
1 year ago
Anonymous
Her family is very well off but they’re blue collar at heart. Very good people who treated me very well. Her dad is a retired trooper who made it big on real estate and yes they paid for med school, but only because she got a full academic ride to undergrad.
Yeah I know. I don’t stack up but I want to for future situations.
1 year ago
Anonymous
wish i could fucc me a rich girl if it meant id never have to work again.
cool, gotta be a better version of yourself then - when she was talking about goals, she meant that it felt like she cared more about you kicking ass than she did, and the lack of feelings bit afterwards confirmed it for her
ultimately, she wasn't the right person for you because she couldn't help you be the best version of yourself, however fair or unfair that is
make yourself into the best version of yourself, find the person who best suits what you want and need and apologise to no one for selfishly pursuing both
if you can get girls like that once, you are definitely in the right league, so chin up old boy and you could be dating someone with bigger breasts, a bigger bank balance, raise your kids and who would sacrifice the world for you in no time
you deserve someone you think is a goddess who treats you like a god, and yes someone that dumb really is out there, I promise you
now put one good foot in front of another and start walking towards your destiny, don't turn Eurydice to stone by looking back now
Was it the recovery that caused the weight gain or did you get lazy? Medical school is stressful enough without a boat anchor of a partner holding one back.
>breakup with gf of 5 years >asks if I think it's mutual >"haha yeah of course" acting stoic because all the PUA advice from the past told me to not be needy and never chase (ignoring has worked in the past) >week goes buy without message >2 weeks >1 month
She's gone. She's just fkn gone.
[...]
Let yourself experience it. A feeling has a beginning, a middle and an end.
Trying to be cold and indifferent to a loss will only delay the pain or you'll just dig it deeper and it will eat your from the inside - and it IS a huge loss to detach from someone you've been so close to for so long. Getting over a breakup is not supposed to be easy if you have a heart. Don't deny your humanity. Being in love and suffering when losing someone you loved is what makes us human.
t. broke up with my gf of 4 years, took me 2 months to even start thinking about swiping
[...] >What’ll it be?
A shot of vodka as always. It's been a rough patch, these last 2 months. But I managed to channel my heartache into creating a bodyweight routine, lost 4 kilos, reaching 10 pull-ups in one go, and walk for 2 hours almost every day.
Working from home, eating clean, fasting, exercising, living alone for the first time in years; I feel almost like a monk.
We’re on pretty good terms after our discussion yesterday. Fricked some Asian chick last night which was okay.
Today my ex texted me that she got into a top 25 MBA program with a 55k scholarship. I encouraged her to apply and I’m very happy for her. Still wish we were together though.
>breakup with gf of 5 years >asks if I think it's mutual >"haha yeah of course" acting stoic because all the PUA advice from the past told me to not be needy and never chase (ignoring has worked in the past) >week goes buy without message >2 weeks >1 month
She's gone. She's just fkn gone.
>breakup with gf of 5 years >asks if I think it's mutual >"haha yeah of course" acting stoic because all the PUA advice from the past told me to not be needy and never chase (ignoring has worked in the past) >week goes buy without message >2 weeks >1 month
She's gone. She's just fkn gone.
Let yourself experience it. A feeling has a beginning, a middle and an end.
Trying to be cold and indifferent to a loss will only delay the pain or you'll just dig it deeper and it will eat your from the inside - and it IS a huge loss to detach from someone you've been so close to for so long. Getting over a breakup is not supposed to be easy if you have a heart. Don't deny your humanity. Being in love and suffering when losing someone you loved is what makes us human.
t. broke up with my gf of 4 years, took me 2 months to even start thinking about swiping
https://i.imgur.com/EfnVDDT.jpg
What’ll it be?
>What’ll it be?
A shot of vodka as always. It's been a rough patch, these last 2 months. But I managed to channel my heartache into creating a bodyweight routine, lost 4 kilos, reaching 10 pull-ups in one go, and walk for 2 hours almost every day.
Working from home, eating clean, fasting, exercising, living alone for the first time in years; I feel almost like a monk.
I should've never stopped, I was running everyday. Did it for 370 days straight, was cut, disciplined, and fitter than ever. If I kept that up and started lifting I'd love my body so much more than where I am. And the drugs I'm smoking and the life I'm living are so far removed from that insane endless climb that distance running brought me towards. I was fast. Like Boston Qual Marathon fast, speedwork for 6 weeks I'd have been there I have a 1:29:31 half marathon.
>my mother has tried to kill herself >my sister has tried to kill herself >my worst concern in life is that i have never had a girlfriends
im a monster
You're comparing apples and oranges here anon. Your family have their challenges, you have yours. Its not a straight comparison, much less a competition, so don't feel guilt for wanting to be happy.
went before a judge for fricking a hooker today. got a small fine and that was that. but i've been stressing hard and have been in a constant state of dread since i got the call from the police a week ago. luckily it all got sorted pretty quickly cause idk how much more of that shit i could take. awful experience all in all, definitely never fricking a hooker again
water please. Bros I dont know if this girl likes me or not. She randomly started sitting beside me in class and we've been talking a bit. I've been to her place twice and we just chatted and had some tea. Idk how to move forward or if shes even interested. This might be some plot for her to get me to do her work for her... its happened before. Im a 22y/o khv and have no idea how to assess the situation really
ask her out for drinks or food. make it clear that you want to go with just the two of you, or tell her it's a date. get to know each other, you'll know by the end if she's reciprocating or not. if you're completely socially clueless and can't tell by the end just tell her you like her and accept whatever answer she gives you.
I joined a new gym local to me today, and I feel so bad since I’ve realised how weak I am. I thought I was intermediate tier, and given the time I’ve been lifting (over a year now) I should be at least intermediate but I’m novice at best. My lifts are:
Ohp: 43.5kg for 3 sets of five reps
Bench: 5 reps of 80kg
Row: 3 sets of 7 reps at 80kg
Romanian deadlift: 3 sets of 5 reps at 85kg
How do I even get better?
you should know that what you're doing is the exact right move in the situation you're in, and feel good about that
so long as you keep making the best moves, you will eventually see the best results
wanting to feel good immediately is just another problem you have to solve - if it's getting in the way of you making the best moves, regulate your goddamn emotions
this is what it means to be a man
if you could wave a wand and be as strong as you wanted, you would ironically be pathetically weak
now stop whining and overtraining
I am cheating on my gf currently with a femboy at my uni gym and its kinda been eating me up everyday I spend time with her and I am sexting my femboy in the back idk what I should do baka
Im still finding it such a struggle to make friends & keep friends. I missed a really important window for developing healthy social skills when I was younger & now at 26 I just feel like a fish out of water whenever I'm trying to navigate a friendship with somebody.
I used to paper over this gap in my life by talking to girls, jumping in and out of relationships, cheating constantly etc. but it always left me feeling empty inside. Its been a terribly lonely life, honestly.
the past is gone - forget everything about missing windows, all you have to work with is how you are now
you are likely trying pretend to be what you think people want to compensate for your crippling insecurities
this is sabotaging the depth of intimacy of the relationships you are able to form
represent yourself honestly, sometimes that's meant to be feel like shit, and sometimes you will get made fun of, dumped or ghosted
by trying to artificially prevent these from happening because you can't deal with the resulting bad feelings, you are robbing yourself of the growth that comes with lived experience
the authentic life you live as a result of these changes might be smaller and dimmer than your bullshit front at first, but you will feel 10x happier with it because you know it's real
tl ; dr stop being manipulative with people to avoid bad outcomes and be genuine instead
of course, we all strive to say the right thing to the right people at the right times
there is a fundamental difference between choosing to say what you think other people will like and making that the basis of your character, and choosing to say your truth in the most decent and fair way you can
people will want you to tell them they're good people, that they're productive, that they're not addicts, that you love them
but the right thing to do is tell you what you really think, even if it hurts them, because pretending to be someone you're not and prioritising their immediate feelings over their long-term well being is poison for both of you
if you have a truly good friend, you might do something bad enough that will cause them to beat the shit out of you to try and get you to see the error of your ways
someone who always tells you that you've done the right thing, or stays silent to avoid conflict, is only your friend when it's convenient
The kid I was in my early 20s was the exact brand of hyper self conscious manipulative weirdo you initially described. These days though, I feel pretty settled in my thoughts and views on life, what my priorities are, whats important to me etc. And I think that comes through in how I talk to people. I'm not afraid to challenge people or offer up my conflicting views on things.
Tbh what spurred my initial post was that a friend ghosted me over the weekend. He's a cool dude and I thought we were pretty much on the same frequency & it's kinda getting in my head a little that things are falling off already. Its not just him either. I've had a few people over the past couple months who I really hit it off with initially, but then they just fell off later.
I'm talking "missing windows" and shit because, I dunno - maybe this is just normal? Maybe not every connection is supposed to stick? I'm not afraid of rejection or getting criticized, I just don't exactly know how to navigate social topography. These kinds of things are a little demoralizing & I start to wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
I might just be getting a little in my head though.
ok, so two possibilities here:
- it might not be you, people are dealing with their own shit, and if you're a former self-professed weirdo, chances are the people who were comfortable with you are also weird
- there are things you are doing that are causing this that you are currently unaware of
really deep dive into how you talk to people, frequency, topics, intensity, duration - there's going to be something there
you might come off as clingy, or abrasive, or inconsiderate - you can authentically be these things as well
might not be how you talk, but how you listen
1 year ago
Anonymous
>clingy, or abrasive, or inconsiderate
I hit all three from time to time.
Maybe not clingy so much, but I can have a pretty nervous energy when I'm talking to someone. Laughing a little too much, etc.
late bloomer here
i developed late but now find in a position where i'm rather liked by people, but im still very selective of people to call friends
develop your loneliness into a healthy calling for you to improve.
Jesus Christ, reading this thread is the saddest shit I’ve seen in a while
Work on yourselves, seek truth, and live your best life. Wallowing in your sorrows/anxieties and typing paragraphs on 4chin will not make you feel better.
people need avenue to vent out, this is healthy and you damn well now this isn't somewhere like tumblr where everyone will give out validations or le upvoots
https://i.imgur.com/1a878Fd.jpg
A cup of water.
I broke up with my long distance gf (we travled to see each other a couple of times) of three years 4 months ago. It's been quite tough. In fact, I think am going through depression, which is not surprising since I've been a sad c**t all my life. I was happy with her most of the time, but there was a lot of bad shit too . That plus me being a moron who is never satisfied with reality... We maintained contact (basically her choice, I felt guilty of breaking up and let her decide whether or no to keep contact) and have been treated like shit by her many times, but I still have feelings for her and blame myself for breaking up... I also was always considering whether we should try again or not... Anyways, she blocked me today after calling me names and all. I am sad. I guess my story is quite pathetic, but what can I do if I have feelings... I wish I was a better man and that I could just make the right choice...
I haven't had a genuine social interaction in months. I only make small talk with coworkers and store clerks. How do I break this cycle? Do I need to do something gay like volunteer. I am becoming socially detached and would like some bros and a gf
don't jump to the conclusions of conversations based on what you think people want basically
go through one line at a time, don't try to skip ahead and be present and genuine
expectations kill intimacy
I would like a hug please. Just some sort of physical contact with another human. I guess I may hug someone around Christmas, but those are more of a formality than anything. It's just been so painfully obvious recently that I am sleeping alone in a bed made for two.
Even if I wanted to I couldn't where I live.
Also sounds like a bad idea tbqh, even if the effects are similar it's still just a surrogate for genuine human relationships. Like couples getting pets instead of children.
>physical affection 8 (EIGHT!!) times per day >per day
This cannot be real right? I've been hugged like 5 times this entire year and that's more than usual. I know that I crave physical affection/intimacy more than anything and I know it's bad to not have it, but is this really the solution to my misery? Daily hugs?
Physical touch from someone you care about is like crack cocaine.
>physical affection 8 (EIGHT!!) times per day >per day
This cannot be real right? I've been hugged like 5 times this entire year and that's more than usual. I know that I crave physical affection/intimacy more than anything and I know it's bad to not have it, but is this really the solution to my misery? Daily hugs?
Jesus Christ, reading this thread is the saddest shit I’ve seen in a while
Work on yourselves, seek truth, and live your best life. Wallowing in your sorrows/anxieties and typing paragraphs on 4chin will not make you feel better.
>get masters >find no job with it in 3 years since that will pay me a livable wage because I'm not in a rich family or a hot young girl
lmao
what can I even do with little/no experience that will pay $25+/hour, that isn't backbreaking construction work? and i don't even know if they'll start you that high, fricking doubtful
everything i see is entrylevel bullshit, even basic WFH jobs on indeed have hundreds or thousands of applicants
keep looking, change areas, get other qualifications and actually network - ask people and ask people to ask people
you only need to find one job
keep grinding until you do
it will happen, but not if you look at your competition instead of the goal
>change areas
yeah I'm flat broke, holy frick I wish I could simply move to another area like everybody tells me to; even then rent is astronomically high all around the country
tried everything else, please keep your platitudes to yourself
i sure hope you got a scholarship or paid your own way, if i keep seeing any government just shelling out money to burn on useless paper shit like that im gonna go insane. homosexuals cant even spare the meager salary of one detective to find some Black person who vandalized my car but can give billions to run institutions that train people for nothing
>errbody wanna be a CEO but no one wanna start from the frickin bottom
I got on Ritalin recently because my grades started to spiral, and I still cannot encourage myself to work until it’s well into the night and the effects of the Ritalin have worn off. I spend the rest of my day either working or aimlessly surfing the internet pursuing whatever random interest or question comes into my head. Maybe I’m just terrified to discover that the Ritalin doesn’t work, proving that my ADHD and dysgraphia were never the problem and that I’m really just lazy and moronic. I don’t want to believe that the slow, incremental descent of my mental health and life are completely the result of my actions, especially now that I’m an adult and I’m expected to be totally in control. I don’t even have a drivers license on account of my awful focus.
I broke up with my long distance gf (we travled to see each other a couple of times) of three years 4 months ago. It's been quite tough. In fact, I think am going through depression, which is not surprising since I've been a sad c**t all my life. I was happy with her most of the time, but there was a lot of bad shit too . That plus me being a moron who is never satisfied with reality... We maintained contact (basically her choice, I felt guilty of breaking up and let her decide whether or no to keep contact) and have been treated like shit by her many times, but I still have feelings for her and blame myself for breaking up... I also was always considering whether we should try again or not... Anyways, she blocked me today after calling me names and all. I am sad. I guess my story is quite pathetic, but what can I do if I have feelings... I wish I was a better man and that I could just make the right choice...
Strawberry mango smoothie please
I need to dump my boyfriend but I just can't do it. Every time I go to break up with him he starts crying and begging me to stay and I cave. He does do a lot for me and he's a sweet guy but I just want someone who's ambitious. He smokes weed all day and has no real future plans. It hurts. I look at other men with jobs and ambitions and I feel disgusted with my bf. I know I need to end it but it's so hard to do. I worry I'll regret it as well, but I don't want to have kids with someone so lazy.
just do it homosexual ! he already knows its gonna happen So just rip the bandaid off! youre already looking elsewhere for other guys so relatiionship is spiritually over anyuway just finalize it homie
He desperately wants to save the relationship. I understand why, I'm way out of his league both physically and generally in life (he is very overweight and does not have a job or goals, this is not me bragging). I just feel so guilty leaving him. He can't even fend for himself. I buy him most of his stuff.
Even though I hate weedtards and I agree you need to leave, I gotta know: what the frick is the female obsession with "ambition"? What if he had a decent job but didn't want to work harder and get promoted because it would mean more work hours and responsibility?
He doesn't have a job and decided he should go back to school for a second associates...
If he did what you mentioned I wouldn't complain.
as a real femoid (i hope) you have that empathy thing where you see a hopeless guy and you feel the need to take care of him even though he's a deadbeat
cut him off, the best thing that can happen that he takes it as a sign and goes on to improve, you will not be guilty for any of the stupid decision he does
[...]
best thing to do with it is to get work experience in your related field, then you can go on to be in academics.
Yeah that's essentially it. I feel bad. He's going to be heartbroken and his quality of life will diminish significantly once I leave. I can't take it when he cries.
i dont smoke weed, i have a job. and im still lazy.
wanna frick? im a big upgrade from your current boy toy kek
I doubt you're my type, sorry. Smoking weed isn't an issue although I don't smoke.
You're with him out of pity. And even if he gets heartbroken, it might be a good motivator for him to change. Or, he's going to wallow in self-pity and do frick all. Either way it's not on you.
Leave.
I tried. But he cries and begs and I just can't take it. My heart hurts seeing him so upset. He calls me crying and I give in. Sigh. How do I be heartless ?
give him an ultimatum there, you got your whole life in front of you and being dragged down isn't gonna be a fun ride i'll tell you
I don't think that will work. He has no real goals and if I demand him to come up with one it won't be genuine. I should leave but as I stated above I'm a b***h.
>I'm way out of his league both physically and generally in life (he is very overweight and does not have a job or goals, this is not me bragging)
ive heard this 'hot woman dating loser' shit so many times im starting to think women date people like this on purpose either consciously or unconsciously cos it gives them leverage and makes the guy unlikely to leave or cheat
ik talking about relationships in terms of power structures or whatever is kinda gay but it would make sense
I started dating him two years ago because I had no self confidence. I now realize I'm actually decently worthwhile as a partner and I feel like I deserve someone who matches that but I feel guilty leaving someone who is so enamored with me.
>not her type
gay, dyke and gay and fake and YWNBAW
just kidding lmao. yeah theres a reason i havent had any kind of relationship in the past 10 years, i definitely dont want to do shit for anyone other than myself. nor do i want/need someone else being dragged down by me enjoying my life. that being said...
kick that dude to the curb, learn to be selfish for once. love your life and dont be ashamed or feel remorse for others feelings because theyll be the last ones to care about yours.
>t. dated over a dozen women over a span of years >realized im tired of digging through sludge to find
the happiness i had inside myself the whole time
I'm going to save this post, thanks anon. I'm not very good at being selfish. I wish I could be. I want to be. Frick.
>a second associate's
lmao an A.A. is useless
I KNOW. I TOLD HIM THAT. I'm finishing up a BS in a decently cool field and he's getting a second AA and it is art related. I can't take it. My head hurts. He literally jokes about being a stay at home dad. Sigh.
>He calls me crying and I give in. Sigh. How do I be heartless ?
By breaking up with him face to face, saying all you gotta say, and ending it with telling him you want to cut contact. You block his number and everything. You're literally being emotionally manipulated by a weeping manchild. I thought it was only dudes who fell for girls' tears in these situations, and that girls would get the "ick" and leave over their bf being this pathetic but damn alright you keep on slayin queen.
How to be heartless? I don't know, listen to some hard music to psych yourself up.
>I'm way out of his league both physically and generally in life (he is very overweight and does not have a job or goals, this is not me bragging)
ive heard this 'hot woman dating loser' shit so many times im starting to think women date people like this on purpose either consciously or unconsciously cos it gives them leverage and makes the guy unlikely to leave or cheat
ik talking about relationships in terms of power structures or whatever is kinda gay but it would make sense
>not her type
gay, dyke and gay and fake and YWNBAW
just kidding lmao. yeah theres a reason i havent had any kind of relationship in the past 10 years, i definitely dont want to do shit for anyone other than myself. nor do i want/need someone else being dragged down by me enjoying my life. that being said...
kick that dude to the curb, learn to be selfish for once. love your life and dont be ashamed or feel remorse for others feelings because theyll be the last ones to care about yours.
>t. dated over a dozen women over a span of years >realized im tired of digging through sludge to find
the happiness i had inside myself the whole time
Even though I hate weedtards and I agree you need to leave, I gotta know: what the frick is the female obsession with "ambition"? What if he had a decent job but didn't want to work harder and get promoted because it would mean more work hours and responsibility?
>what the frick is the female obsession with "ambition"
Women truly only care about one thing: Status. Wealth is just a natural byproduct of status. If you aren't overtly ambitious then you are seen as less likely to obtain or improve status. The problem really is that status has no upper boundary, you can always be richer, have a better job, a nicer house, cooler cars, take more exotic vacations, etc. This is where the pervasive thought of "Is he really the best I can do" comes into women's heads. They are hardcoded that way, all of them.
as a real femoid (i hope) you have that empathy thing where you see a hopeless guy and you feel the need to take care of him even though he's a deadbeat
cut him off, the best thing that can happen that he takes it as a sign and goes on to improve, you will not be guilty for any of the stupid decision he does
https://i.imgur.com/CcLfTbY.jpg
>get masters >find no job with it in 3 years since that will pay me a livable wage because I'm not in a rich family or a hot young girl
lmao
what can I even do with little/no experience that will pay $25+/hour, that isn't backbreaking construction work? and i don't even know if they'll start you that high, fricking doubtful
everything i see is entrylevel bullshit, even basic WFH jobs on indeed have hundreds or thousands of applicants
best thing to do with it is to get work experience in your related field, then you can go on to be in academics.
Unfortunately, my field is experimental psych and, considering most jobs involving any research or aren't entry-level, want doctorates or are clinical-related (normally Counseling). Anything else is generic case manager shit or psych ward orderly making pennies at both.
My uni did frickall to help post-grad which has left me rather bitter.
try going for an associate diplomas or any other post graduate cert and look for an adjacent field of work.
i know it's more paper and studying bullshit but it could work out for you especially if you have good grades and can get scholarships
>celebrated three years with gf on Sunday >we end the night talking >been dealing with some issues regarding marriage and commitment for a while now, and she pressed me about it >basically told her I need to see more effort on her end with self improvement because I don't want to outpace her and grow apart >she's upset (understandably) and avoiding me, but she's also restarted a personal growth program she dropped previously
I feel like I'm pushing her towards the limits of what she can take, but I also feel like she's not pushing herself at all unless I set it up, and we naturally move at different paces. It's like she won't do anything to improve herself unless she thinks someone is going to drop her.
I'm tired and frustrated.
I guess I'll just have water.
Basically, she's just kinda... not trying with life. No career ambitions, no personal goals, no learning new things, nothing. She just goes to work (at a job she doesn't like, but can't be bothered to leave), comes home to watch trashy TV and browse Instagram, and spends time on the weekends shopping or visiting friends and family. It's like she only cares for comfort.
I'm actively trying to better myself, always learning new skills, taking classes, reading, building my career, etc etc, and I feel like it's only a matter of time before I'm just in a completely different realm from her. I really want to take her with me, but... How can I, at this pace? I feel like I'm gonna wake up one day and think I tripped and fell into the time chamber or something.
I'm honestly not sure if this is just a me problem. I started therapy last week to try to sort it all out, because I just can't fricking believe people are totally fine living like this, and it's throwing me for a loop.
Because not everyone has their shit together, or can work a fulltime job and have enough mental energy to do more shit, or have this "drive" to improve just for the sake of improvement. Don't get me wrong, not like you should settle for a total couch potato, but realistically speaking most people are fine with work, gym, and spending time with friends and family.
If you found someone more like yourself, how would the two of you even find time to spend together?
maybe she found you and she's happy with what she have, maybe you can push her into something more but what's wrong with her enjoying what she has right now
I tried. But he cries and begs and I just can't take it. My heart hurts seeing him so upset. He calls me crying and I give in. Sigh. How do I be heartless ?
[...]
I don't think that will work. He has no real goals and if I demand him to come up with one it won't be genuine. I should leave but as I stated above I'm a b***h.
[...]
I started dating him two years ago because I had no self confidence. I now realize I'm actually decently worthwhile as a partner and I feel like I deserve someone who matches that but I feel guilty leaving someone who is so enamored with me.
[...]
I'm going to save this post, thanks anon. I'm not very good at being selfish. I wish I could be. I want to be. Frick.
[...]
I KNOW. I TOLD HIM THAT. I'm finishing up a BS in a decently cool field and he's getting a second AA and it is art related. I can't take it. My head hurts. He literally jokes about being a stay at home dad. Sigh.
seems like you two are meant for eachother
look IST we've played cupid and done our good deed for the day kek
you are not responsible for her feelings
boundaries are healthy and even if they end a relationship, it's a good thing
if she can't meet, or more accurately doesn't want to meet your standards, it's better that you get out
don't feel bad, either way this is what's best - the right thing isn't always pleasant
Well, after we talked on Sunday, she also deactivated Instagram. I've got a good feeling about that. Hopefully she can see how much it was affecting her and how much time it was taking up.
>Get on it, anon. Life is too short to waste, and too long to spend wasting it.
I don’t know much else I can do though. I lift and do HIIT class pretty much everyday. Im planning to back to school in a couple years and switch industries to something higher paying. I go to church pretty much every week. I’ve been seeing a bunch of prostitutes since the breakup and it just makes me sad.
How do I direct my rage towards productive purposes? I have an IQ high enough to understand that chimping out will get me nowhere but the anger hurts my ability to focus.
you need to find the meta feeling behind it
people aren't simply angry because they're angry, nor are they angry because of the immediate trigger of their anger
resolve your anger by working on, minimising or otherwise managing the root causes
if people don't listen to you, find ways to make them or find other people who do
if your job frustrates you, change how it works or change your workplace
if you are stuck with the things that make you angry, try and put yourself in the best position possible to handle via self-care, space and good things that balance them out
rage isn't rla power source, it's a message
listen to it
>be me, last night >put kids to bed >climb into bed with my wife, big spoon >she has a thong on, rarely wears one >thought she was on her period but OK >grope her asscheeks unashamedly >slip my hand under her shirt >no bra either >wasn't expecting sex, haven't had it in a week, welcome surprise >play with her breasts while she pulls my shorts down >she's super horny, unusual, already moaning and grinding against me >"make me cum anon" >"then do my ass" >wtf is going on she hasn't actually asked for anal in years >pull her to the edge of the bed, rip the thong off, spread her legs >literally thirty seconds in I go in, hit just the right spot, and blow my load in her like some 16-year-old getting his dick wet the first time >frick me >keep pumping but I'm on borrowed time >she gives up, climbs back up in bed, go back to spooning with my hand on her pussy >fuuuuuuuuck
>be me, last night +40 minutes >wake up from dozing, hand still on her pussy >start rubbing her >after a few minutes she turns over, points to lube on the nightstand >start fingering her ass >"I need your dick anon" >get on top of her >can't get hard enough to get in her ass even 40 minutes after >end up fingering her until she fakes an orgasm
>be me, today >mad all day at work because I wasted a super horny wife on some rookie bullshit >come home, cook while she gets kids in bath >she comes down wearing a nightshirt before kids come down for dinner >while she bends over counter reaching into cabinet I pull up her nightshirt >now it's a G-string >"I wore this all day at work thinking about you anon, I need you to take care of me tonight" >first of all, where the frick is this coming from all of a sudden >second, can't tell her I don't think I can go multiple rounds anymore >now I'm about to have to go up there and put on the performance of a lifetime
I'm either too young for this bullshit or too old, I can't figure out which
It's not all it's cracked up to be anon, it's actually frustrating as shit.
Maybe not for the guys who have wives who frick daily or who come to them for sex. But when you have one who is on and off and who won't just come out and say she needs some dick but makes you find out like it's a fricking scavenger hunt the pressure is insane.
I've been doing this 11 years now and I think I liked it better just hitting women up in bars or on thefacebook because at least then it was cut and dry. She was either interested or not, if yes then you run through your game and if no you move on. When you're married you're on your game 24/7 because everything you do affects whether you're getting laid that night, not to mention all the things that can wreck your shit like having a kid run in the room and jump in the bed with you right when you finally get your hand down your wife's panties.
Then the missed opportunities, if I hadn't gotten in bed last night and decided to spoon, if I had stopped to watch football or whatever, I wouldn't have had sex and she wouldn't have said a word, or she would have texted me today at lunch saying she was waiting on me last night so then I'd be mad about missing that. But then it's pathetic when you have to constantly beg for it when she's not interested, I could just as easily have been spooning last night and she'd get mad because she wasn't in the mood. If she hadn't been wearing what she was wearing there's not a whole lot to go on. I'd hate to hear how many times I missed sex because I didn't want to drag myself down and beg for it when I didn't, in fact, have to beg for it.
Then the horniness level, I'll get vanilla barely-interested missionary five times in a row and then suddenly one night she's sucking my dick or asking for anal. Or the frequency, we'll frick every day for a week then go three weeks with nothing. I've gotten to where once I seal the deal I just do what I want with her but it's a crapshoot whether she'll be into it
It's either me initiating sex every. Single. Time. And being made to feel like a borderline spousal rapist because she is so clearly ambivalent about the whole thing.
Or, I take the hint and don't pay her as much attention, and then get all the stamping around the house and aggressively wearing makeup and perfume and being asked if I think the girls at my office are pretty.
Just cannot fricking win. I'm considering putting a three-times-a-week sex rota on the bedroom wall, there's nothing sexy or spontaneous about it but at least I'd know where I fricking stand for once.
It's not all it's cracked up to be anon, it's actually frustrating as shit.
Maybe not for the guys who have wives who frick daily or who come to them for sex. But when you have one who is on and off and who won't just come out and say she needs some dick but makes you find out like it's a fricking scavenger hunt the pressure is insane.
I've been doing this 11 years now and I think I liked it better just hitting women up in bars or on thefacebook because at least then it was cut and dry. She was either interested or not, if yes then you run through your game and if no you move on. When you're married you're on your game 24/7 because everything you do affects whether you're getting laid that night, not to mention all the things that can wreck your shit like having a kid run in the room and jump in the bed with you right when you finally get your hand down your wife's panties.
Then the missed opportunities, if I hadn't gotten in bed last night and decided to spoon, if I had stopped to watch football or whatever, I wouldn't have had sex and she wouldn't have said a word, or she would have texted me today at lunch saying she was waiting on me last night so then I'd be mad about missing that. But then it's pathetic when you have to constantly beg for it when she's not interested, I could just as easily have been spooning last night and she'd get mad because she wasn't in the mood. If she hadn't been wearing what she was wearing there's not a whole lot to go on. I'd hate to hear how many times I missed sex because I didn't want to drag myself down and beg for it when I didn't, in fact, have to beg for it.
Then the horniness level, I'll get vanilla barely-interested missionary five times in a row and then suddenly one night she's sucking my dick or asking for anal. Or the frequency, we'll frick every day for a week then go three weeks with nothing. I've gotten to where once I seal the deal I just do what I want with her but it's a crapshoot whether she'll be into it
This is exactly the shit I'm talking about >be me, three hours ago >head to bed with the intention of fricking my wife's brains out >spoon again, rub her leg, rub her butt >she's too busy browsing Facebook to respond >put my arm around her, give her a few minutes >start up again >"ugh anon my back hurts, I was running around all day at work" >sounds like you need a backrub then >"I'm serious anon" >she rolls over anyway, I rub her back with one hand, liberal ass squeezing >"c'mon anon" >woman, you are the one who's been wearing a G-string all day. do you want to get fricked or not? >"ugh" >she is snoring five minutes later, I keep rubbing her back/ass for a few more minutes >wake up three hours later when a kid dive-bombs us in bed
Like, what the frick do you want? I've got shit I need to do and I don't really want to fawn over you for an hour hoping to get my dick wet and then looking like a moron when I don't, so don't lead me on then change your mind.
what does love feel like anons?
I feel like I might already love the girl I'm seeing, even after just 2/3 months >she's kind, thoughtful, considerate, hard-working, family-oriented, intelligent >she's beautiful, committed to self-development, easy to talk to, honest, endearing, genuine >I feel like I can be myself around her >I want the best for her - I want to buy her nice things, I want to spend time with her >would feel comfortable introducing her to my family
but I don't feel "infatuated" or "head over heels" or "butterflies". It feels like a deep knowing, a desire to see her have good things and be appreciated because I like who she is. is this love? to me it seems like enough. is it too early to express this to her? I want to be honest with what I'm looking for, what I like about her, and where I see things going in the future
Did she ever make your heart beat harder, and faster? Even just from thinking about her? Did you ever feel like you couldn't focus or concentrate on what you were doing because she kept popping up in your thoughts, compulsively?
I've had that "excited" feeling in previously relationships with women that I was incompatible with. Feelings of nervousness/constant excitement are not pleasant and I didn't feel comfortable around those women
There is a difference between love (lust), love (compassion for another), and being /in love/.
what's the difference then between love of commitment and compassion, and being "in love"? infatuation doesn't feel like "love" to me, nor obsession. I still find her extremely attractive and sexy but I don't feel overwhelmed with desire. I feel a more "pragma" type of love
I mean what's the point in being with her if there's no fire? You know you don't have to be with a girl just because she wants to be with you, right?
1 year ago
Anonymous
but is "passion" the basis of a stable relationship, or is fundamental trait compatibility? I want to be with this girl, I'm asking if what I'm feeling here
what does love feel like anons?
I feel like I might already love the girl I'm seeing, even after just 2/3 months >she's kind, thoughtful, considerate, hard-working, family-oriented, intelligent >she's beautiful, committed to self-development, easy to talk to, honest, endearing, genuine >I feel like I can be myself around her >I want the best for her - I want to buy her nice things, I want to spend time with her >would feel comfortable introducing her to my family
but I don't feel "infatuated" or "head over heels" or "butterflies". It feels like a deep knowing, a desire to see her have good things and be appreciated because I like who she is. is this love? to me it seems like enough. is it too early to express this to her? I want to be honest with what I'm looking for, what I like about her, and where I see things going in the future
can be described as love. I've experienced the "excitement/obsession/anxiety" and I'm pretty sure that wasn't love
1 year ago
Anonymous
Romantic love was invented by and is only felt by men, if that clears the true nature of it up for you.
I'm not dissuading you from finding your life partner or soulmate or whatever bullshit you want to call it but when you're deciding such things don't do it on the basis of "love"
If you think you love a woman romantically you need to figure out why instead of just going with that feeling. It's one of the few times your gut feeling will get you in trouble if you just go with it.
1 year ago
Anonymous
everyone experience love differently but the initial part will have that excitement part when you find someone that you feel worth pouring your heart over with, overtime that feeling will peel off and you will stay with that person because you feel it's worth to stay over with that person
this lovey dovey thing people feel is just a temporary thing anyway, it'll settle down in 2 months or so and then you go to the stable phase of the relationship where you really see the person for they are and decide whether this is the kind of partner you want to stick with for hopefully the rest of your life.
you probably just like her, maybe see her as someone you can potentially love, I've been through that, but if you were in love you'd know it, your heart races when you see them, face goes red, you'll feel pretty fricked up for a long time after they're gone.
sounds like infatuation, not love. you really think lovingly married couples feel nonstop excitement after even 1 year together? that shit ain't even close to love bruv kek
I see all my friends getting married, and I feel a little bit jealous. I know I don't *need* a boyfriend, but I genuinely want someone who is love with me, and who I love back. But I don't want to download a dating app before losing weight first
I got in a minor motorcycle accident and fricked up my finger
I think I'll be fine but I feel very weird, my mortality and vulnerability has never been so apparent. I don't want to be killed by some stupid fricking boomer driving a piece of shit Saturn
I really want to share this somewhere but I finally managed to clear my sinuses after years of breathing problems and headaches.
Started sleeping on the floor with only one pillow, this stopped me from sleeping with my head propped too much and creating position induced sleep apnea.
I found a way to manually hold the sinuses open. Basically you take your right thump and kind of press into between your cheekbone and nose and try to push the cheek bone towards the ear, and also pull on that same sides ear downward and back a bit. It stimulates the sinuses to open and also holds it open. Then do the same on the other side.
I can finally fricking breath. I’ve had so many boogers big chunky ones all day.
That's huge, anon, I'm really happy for you! Clear sinuses is such a good feeling. I got a bunch of polyps cut out of mine, and it's a big help. Kinda miss those super boogers...
Because not everyone has their shit together, or can work a fulltime job and have enough mental energy to do more shit, or have this "drive" to improve just for the sake of improvement. Don't get me wrong, not like you should settle for a total couch potato, but realistically speaking most people are fine with work, gym, and spending time with friends and family.
If you found someone more like yourself, how would the two of you even find time to spend together?
This is a valid point, and part of my confusion / hesitance. It's possible that we can balance each other out in such a way that she gets off her ass and I don't burn myself out working too much / never socializing. Also, I have to wonder if there's enough space in a relationship for two very driven people. Like you said, when would we even see each other?
maybe she found you and she's happy with what she have, maybe you can push her into something more but what's wrong with her enjoying what she has right now
Appreciation of what you have is not my strong suit, to be fair. I struggle to define the line with complacency.
you are not responsible for her feelings
boundaries are healthy and even if they end a relationship, it's a good thing
if she can't meet, or more accurately doesn't want to meet your standards, it's better that you get out
don't feel bad, either way this is what's best - the right thing isn't always pleasant
I'm hoping it doesn't have to end the relationship, but my gut tells me it's only a matter of time until she snaps or I give up.
Have you posted about her before? You need to bounce from that instagram-browsing sack of brain rot.
I have, yeah. Three years (and one year living together) was kind of a mental milestone for me as far as commitment, and I'm more confused now than I was when moving in.
[...]
seems like you two are meant for eachother
look IST we've played cupid and done our good deed for the day kek
don't live in hope - you give her the choice, she chooses, and you both live with it
do not prolong the agony to avoid bad feelings if it has logically run its course
give her real, tangible goals that you can ask for because of real, tangible reasons
if she can't or won't meet them, explain the reasons again and explain it's better you broke up, wish her the best and offer to be a friend if you feel like it, and move on
you are ultimately trying to spare yourself the pain, not her
Take that as tacit permission to cheat. Drop hints about "never mind, I know the number of the local prostitutehouse, haha" and see if that spurs the b***h into action.
Had a shitty day yesterday. Finally got a job working on an ambulance. And I hated it. It was disgusting. The agency was bullshit too. The boss lied to me about a certain protocol which can hold you for a few hours after your shift ends to run more calls. The protocol is actually that shifts are 15 hours and not 12 they just tell you something like 9am-9pm but it’s really 9am-12am. Which is fricked up itself. Shitty unlivable wage means you must work 6 days a week to just get by. I hated seeing truly sick people all fricked up. Had a braindead guy and his soulless eyes really fricked with me. I would look up and just freeze staring into his eyes but I know he was dead. The nurses weren’t bathing him either in the month they had him. Alive, but barely even existing. It made me change my views and desires for if I’m on life support. I didn’t have the passion I thought I did. I feel gross. I quit after one day. It’s not something I have any interest in.
But now idk what to do with my life and I need a job. I’m about to just stay a NEET for a little more to do some fasting and finally cut.
get back on the truck anon. yes the lowers are lower than anything you've probably experienced before but believe me the highs make up for it. >t. 5 year medic
Man I don’t think I have any real interest in it anyways. Even if it was just an IFT agency, that one shift was enough for me to know it’s not for me. I thought I had this strong interest but I’m realizing I didn’t and what was so appealing to me was it being a hands on job instead of being in an office punching numbers all day. I think it goes without saying it would be u fair to patients, co workers, and myself to stay in it. I have the upmost respect for you guys and I’m a bit sad for it turn out like this but frick man it’s just not for me.
>work 15 hours a day 6 days a week
you couldn't pay me enough
That's called a benefit pussy. You don't make shit but you don't have time to spend it, it evens itself out. Please. C'mon man. We need the fodder.
I value my free time way too much. Even if I had the passion I thought I had, I simply can’t put myself into a life that’s literally just >work >sleep sub 6 hours >work >repeat
Like if I’m up at 6am by the latest maybe I can squeeze lifting in there and have a few half awake hours to myself, but thats fricked up. If you love EMS and it gets your hard I could see that being acceptable.
And its not supposed to be about the money but frick I can’t justify killing myself sacrificing my health to essentially be at work 90% of my life for less than $20/hr. $15 is what that job paid and in my area that’s the most you’ll see. I had planned to go fire but I literally have zero desire to do that any longer.
Another issue is I’m not a people person. I don’t mean to sound homosexual but I’m a perfect example of a true introvert. I CAN interact with people, but it takes a lot out of me to do it, and maybe it’s some tism but I can’t really fake my emotions and put on a happy face for too long. Give me a shitty call with distressed family members while I’m sleep deprived and haven’t had a chance to even get fluids in me due to the volume and you can see how annoyed or sad or upset I am. I just don’t belong here.
The cons outweigh the pros way too much for me. I’m 27 this month and I’m broke with no skills or certs outside of EMT-B. I have no clue what I’m gonna do.
I reached out to my ex who I broke up with two months ago to see if she was okay. We kind of argued, then had a real talk. Basically explained I only broke up with her because I can’t do long distance, explained to her how anxious it makes me feel. I told her I want to be with her and I have so much shit to fix in life I just can’t do a long distance relationship that causes me to feel anxious because the anxiety will get in the way of my goals. But that once I’m closer to having things in life be better I want to try again. She’s hurt and is afraid to just expect me to come back which I feel is fair. But she doesn’t seem to realize I suck at getting girls and felt lucky to have her. I’m going to bust my ass so that I can try again with her and have getting rid of the 4 hour distance an option if I determine I want to take the relationship that far which I think I would but I’m not sure.
She waited to date me for 4 years and I feel crappy about it. I’m broke and just gave up on my planned career path after discovering it’s not something I have any desire or interest in doing so I have to figure that out, I have to cut some fat, and I’m in the process of beating some addictions, and just unfricking my life in general. She tells me she was happy with me but I need to remove all distractions to get out of this hole. I’d still be with her if it wasn’t long distance and just grind with her at my side. But it is and it makes me too anxious to focus on anything else.
I'll take a club soda. Guh.... shit just ain't fair bros. Every girl I ask out either cancels on me last second or stands me up. Like why not just fricking straight up reject me in the first place? What's the fricking point of playing these stupid little fricking games and getting my hopes up for no reason? I swear the last 3 girls straight have done this to me. Why the frick does it keep happening. At least finals ends tomorrow, I've even neglecting working out the past couple weeks cause I've been so busy with it and work.
my fitness journey is progressing well, i have lost 41 pounds since around June, have stopped smoking weed apart from maybe once a week with friends and at a heavily reduced intake. Ive begun reading more and educating myself on self improvement and philosophy., i got a promotion a work too and have long term goals i wish to accomplish. However i still feel alone and still feel >tfw no gf and literally just want a nice qt to go on dates with and cuddle. To be loved and to love.
We will make it no matter how turbulent and difficult the journey may seem at times.
every single day it is getting better for you
things like relationships are not linear, but by loving yourself and taking care of yourself you make it so much more possible
you're in the home stretch
it was raining pretty hard, fog everywhere, I couldn't see shit, a cop came up behind me while I was driving down the highway, I got to the lights went forward and he pulled me over, I was in a left only lane going straight. I couldn't see the signs on the ground because it was too dark and went, that light specifically didn't have a left only, so I had no idea it was a left only. personally I feel like it's the streets fault for not having a left turn only sign you can see at night during rain. Is it worth going to court & fighting it?
Yes. Claim the signage was inadequate and the onus will be on them to demonstrate the opposite. Chances are they'll drop the charges rather than escalate or, heaven forbid, concede they have to improve the roadways.
I am feeling pessimistic. I want to become the best version of myself but I'm to addicted to my screens. I feel like I could've conquered the world if I could get off the internet but don't know how.
Embed small positive actions and build on them. Something as little as committing to read for 5 minutes a day, or promising yourself you'll shower and leave the house every day, even if it's just to take out the trash or go for a walk.
nah man, they're different as frick, a fricking hooker whos hot enough can make a guy feel butterflies, love is way different from puppy love 5th grade crush bullshit
you do realize there's different types of love right? do you love a cookie like you love your wife? getting "excited" about something is irrelevant about whether you love someone in a permanent way. what if your wife gets disabled or disfigured? you sure as frick aren't gonna feel excited or "butterflies" to see her. but obviously, if you stay with her, you love her.
the idea that love = emotional stimulation is juvenile bullshit that should be left on the kindergarten playground
don't know what you're trying to get at, op is asking if he's "in love" in the sense that I'm talking about, and you're just being a semantic queer when in reality you don't realize love also means what I'm talking about and it's widely acknowledged that's why he described it being that way, but you're just a giant homosexual and feel the need to make that clear for some reason.
>in the sense im talking about
lmao youre moronic bruv, you're literally talking about grade school crushes when op specifically mentions its NOT a grade school crush >it's widely acknowledged
are you in 7th grade? pretty much everyone outside of primary school can separate love and lust >youre a homosexual
gb2 tiktok b***hboi zoomzoom
>sounds like infatuation, not love. you really think lovingly married couples feel nonstop excitement after even 1 year together? that shit ain't even close to love bruv kek
There's a big difference between saying "I'm in love with this person" and "I love with this person" even then people still use love to define the feeling I and he is describing "butterflies" "head over heels".
Been watching Friends recently and I want to frick Lisa Kudrow so bad, the fact that she's more than 30 years older than me in real life and was older than I am now when Friends premiered makes her even hotter. Yes I have seen what she looks like in 2022. Thanks for reading my blog.
24 yo khhv and socially moronic. Never been on a date. Fantasizing about hero'ing myself on my 30th bday. I would clean my apartment spotless. Destroy all stuff that wouldn't be passed on to family. Leave all assets in a neat stack on the table. No note. Gas bag.
I just want a girl to hold me.
I am 35. I have no skills or friends. I live in isolation because the outside world makes me want to die. Every day goes to waste because I have nothing useful to do that will contribute to the rest of my life. I don't even know what to strive towards anymore. My hands are tied regarding the few things in life that matter to me.
i don`t understand how something so easy for other people it`s so impossible for us.
You're fantasising - ruminating - SULKING about a hypothetical bittersweet middle finger to your loved ones over half a decade from now, but you won't take action today to improve your chances?
The world doesn't owe you a girlfriend, buttercup. How many dates have you been on in the last 12 months? How many girls did you ask out? How many did you talk to, in person or online? Answer: not enough, evidently.
I just wish that I could reasonably become my own support system. I just want someone to hold my hand and guide me through life. I don't know how to become that person for myself.
In my case I started achieving that when I finally quit watching porn after a decade of trying and failing. I read easypeasy and it worked. Now I'm not sharing my brain with a demon and, not to imply at all that it magically solved all my problems, but I feel like I can be my own man. But in my case that's taken the form of constant anger overriding all anxiety that I feel, and I acknowledge that I need to address that. I guess what I'm saying is step one is to identify things in your life that make you feel like you don't desnerve happiness.
Only somebody more experienced or capable could become your "support system" but maybe think of it more like being a friend to yourself, rather than a critic.
Why'd you quit?
Remember that booze literally has no benefit for you. > anon it calms me down
And then you wake up the next day wracked by anxiety and guilt. I know you know exactly what I'm talking about. Remember every cope excuse the addictive voice gives and why they're all bullshit.
I already drank a bottle of wine tonight but give me some Gin on the rocks.
Been working out.
People tell me I’m attractive.
Had a week and half of getting drunk every night but Saturday I played through Snoot Game and cried intensely.
I don’t want to be alone anymore anons.
The crying turned my anxious misery into a calm misery so I guess that’s an improvement.
It's almost 4 am and I can't sleep. I also finally kind of realize why I've been so anxious for so long but idk what to do about it. I feel emotionally bound by my parents, like I'm not "allowed" to be a happy individual in a weird way. This has resulted in repression of my true feelings which in turn has caused me to feel inadequate and fearful around women and men of authority.
I feel like I need to say something to them to finally sever the emotional enmeshment which essentially happens in every movie ever, but they would certainly not take kindly to it or maybe even have any idea what I'm talking about, and idk what I'd even say, but I don't think I will ever feel able to take on life until I can somehow separate from them. I'm fricking 27 by the way.
Sounds similar to me anon, childhood conditioning can establish permanent mental boundaries on what you feel permitted to do, even well into adulthood.
There's the anecdote - probably bullshit - about how in India, they tie the baby elephants to a sapling using a thin rope. The elephant tries to escape or run to its mother but is too weak and eventually gives up. Even when the elephant is full grown, they still bring bit back after a day's work to the same sapling and tie it with the same thin rope leash, and the elephant doesn't try to escape. It's strong enough to easily uproot the small tree or break the rope, but it doesn't even attempt it because its remembers once trying and failing, and that has become its reality.
Confronting your parents with an angry monologue (and they apologise with tears in their eyes, and the the whole restaurant stands up and claps) is what would happen in some fricking Hallmark movie. In real life, parents are stubborn, cynical old shits who are actively invested in not admitting guilt or showing weakness in front of their children. You're welcome to try but in my experience don't expect understanding, let alone sympathy. The best weapon in your toolkit is grabbing hold of the realisation, pushing yourself repeatedly out of your comfort zone and demonstrating to yourself just how weak the sapling is, and don't waste any more time looking back. Be ready for people to jokingly or disapprovingly tell you "you've changed".
>It's almost 4 am and I can't sleep
thanks for reminding me anon, I've now turned off the main light and left only the sexy light on (and blue filters on monitor)
time to floss, brush and hit the sack
Water.
I'm tired of neeting lads. I know what needs to be done but im so fricking lazy. My days are maybe 30 minutes of work a day. I have to break this cycle
Didn't manage to prove that the dimension of the domain of linear map is equal to the dimension of the kernel plus the dimension of the image.
Got halfway in (proved span) but couldn't prove the second half (independence) even tho it was so obvious.
Is it over bros?
{w_1,...,w_n} basis of range(T) with {v_1,...,v_n} elements of your vectors space V such that T(v_i)=w_i. Let {u_1,...,u_m} be the basis for the kernel.
1. >a_1v_1+...+a_nv_n+b_1u_1+...+u_m=0
2.Apply linear map T to the equation and use properties of linearity: >a_1T(v_1)+...+a_nT(v_n)+b_1T(u_1)+...+b_mT(u_m)=0
3. Since u_i are in the kernel T(u_i)=0, so: >a_1T(v_1)+...+a_nT(v_n)=0
<=> >a_1w_1+...+a_nw_n=0
4. w_i are linearly independent. Therefore a_i=0 for all i in {1,...,n}
5. Putting this result in the equation from 1. we get this remainder: >b_1u_1+...+u_m=0
6. We know u_i are linearly independent. Therefore b_i=0 for all i in {1,...,m}
7. {v_1,...,v_n,u_1,...,u_m} are n+m linearly independent vectors in our vectors space V and thus a basis. So dim(V)=n+m=dim(range(T))+dim(kernel(T))
Linear Algebra Done Right is the first thing I tried to learn from but it is a very mathy math book(first thing you learn are direct sums like wtf?). Instead I am doing Lang's book and Paul's Halmos's problem book(which is very psycho too but I have gotten the hang of it). Rn I am feeling confident enough to read Linear Algebra Done Right.
Linear independence:
{w_1,...,w_n} basis of range(T) with {v_1,...,v_n} elements of your vectors space V such that T(v_i)=w_i. Let {u_1,...,u_m} be the basis for the kernel.
1. >a_1v_1+...+a_nv_n+b_1u_1+...+u_m=0
2.Apply linear map T to the equation and use properties of linearity: >a_1T(v_1)+...+a_nT(v_n)+b_1T(u_1)+...+b_mT(u_m)=0
3. Since u_i are in the kernel T(u_i)=0, so: >a_1T(v_1)+...+a_nT(v_n)=0
<=> >a_1w_1+...+a_nw_n=0
4. w_i are linearly independent. Therefore a_i=0 for all i in {1,...,n}
5. Putting this result in the equation from 1. we get this remainder: >b_1u_1+...+u_m=0
6. We know u_i are linearly independent. Therefore b_i=0 for all i in {1,...,m}
7. {v_1,...,v_n,u_1,...,u_m} are n+m linearly independent vectors in our vectors space V and thus a basis. So dim(V)=n+m=dim(range(T))+dim(kernel(T))
Now go lift you moron
is it normal for new students to struggle with the proofs? Sometimes I just miss the most obvious stuff and it's so painful. I am one failed proof away from changing my mind on what major I I will pursue(I am not in uni rn)
Lifted yesterday and between sets I did some LinAlg and successfully did a proof so there is that.
You get a feeling for how to come up with proofs after a while. What helps is just writing down known theorems and properties etc. Also this isn't really mathematical skill but in university you'll very likely only ever be asked to come up with proofs that are reasonably straight forward and always using shit you did in the lecture up to that point. So when confronted with some question, like proving the rank-nullity theorem, just look through the lecture notes for anything that seems relevant and play around with that.
35 and just ghosted a 25yo girl because I didn't really feel like seeing her that day
I have zero problems getting laid but after two breakupts I don't think my brain will never be open to the idea of a long lasting relationship, at least I'm making a lot of money in the country i live
Feeling fricking sick for past three days , and overall I hate to find myself again jumping on that “hype trendy shit” , I need to stay loyal to myself and the things that I like and not try to be something I’m not for frick sake.
I forget how hood b***hes are cool and icy ngl , they show me kindness.
I’m feeling so trash and damaged , frick I’m not used to it , so weak lmao.
Sorry for the rant. LORD bless you all.
Also want to add that for past month were talking with homies that have kids about family life to see what’s up , I’m getting less anxious about it overall. It were nice to meet someone than to see him bring his kid to a pub while we’re getting crazy , two of my most vicious homies were sitting with his kid all night at the table and drawing , it was just beautiful to watch. And I dedicate this song to my other homeboy that told me “just be a simple man you know , tell her sometimes there’s cash sometimes there isn’t it” “ don’t overcomplicate yourself” , that’s when I told him I wanna buy my future wife loubutins and Hermes and just treat her with whatever, he’s wife is super chill and he have 2.
I can't stop binge drinking. I had a handle on it for a while by only drinking cider once a week but the last two weeks I ended up drinking a litre of vodka and making an absolute fool of myself by messaging people absolute lunatic ravings through discord.
>hooked up with girl last night >first time getting laid since gf left me >Cum while putting the condom on >she waits for me to be ready to go again in 15 minutes >cum in 3 minutes
Pain. Luckily I’ll never have to see her again
How do I resist the temptation not to cheat on my wife (29F). It's only been 3 months but a friend's friend (19y.o. 8.5/10) has been making it clear she wants to have an affair.
Assuming I could get away with it, why shouldn't I?
Adultery is one of the lowest and scummiest things a person could do, if you're willing to destroy your marriage and break your wife's heart for some poon you're probably a subhuman
Gist of what happened. >gf of 6 years and i break up because i was going through a stressful period during the goyvid mass psychosis >I think we jsut need space for a while >she moves out >leads me on like she still wants me >find out later she had been seeing someone while telling me she wanted to get back together >get depressed as frick and cut contact >sulk for months >finally get on tinder >meet really nice sweet grill >we hit it off >3 months in >find a bunch of messages on app i barely use from ex spanning weeks >telling me we were meant for each other, she loves me, sending me cute memes we used to look at >it fricking rips my heart out and puts me back to square one >I cant forget what shes done so i tell her its too late but im still hella depressed cause now i felt like it was me who made the final decision(i know logically she decided that but still how i felt) >I had figured her new thing hadnt worked out and she was feeling nostalgic >tell her I cant talk anymore >feel even worse cause I have a loving gf who does so much for me and now thinking about ex >try to repress all emotions >nother 2 months go by and get message from ex >we chat just catching up but still makes me sad >find out she had still been with the dude while she was texting me she still loved me >tell her never to talk to me again
I just miss the times we had together. I have so much nostalgia. We spent 6 years together. The amount of movies and shows and music I cant even think about watching or listening to is crazy. Everything just reminds me of her. Even my family. Watching my nephew grow up is now just a physical reminder of how long weve been apart. All this and she just treated me like nothing after the break up. Not an ounce of consideration for my feelings. Its just like the girl I loved never existed.
women dont love the same way that men do, once she finds someone else you literally disappear from her mind
as you said when she contacted you it was because her new thing was going bad, not because she missed you
girls cry a lot for a couple of days but then their mind just resets, they dont miss like we do
This is the right path anon. Remember she basically dumped you for this other guy the moment you showed weakness, and now it hasn't worked out for her she wants to come back. It would be an enormous disrespect to yourself to get back with her.
women dont love the same way that men do, once she finds someone else you literally disappear from her mind
as you said when she contacted you it was because her new thing was going bad, not because she missed you
girls cry a lot for a couple of days but then their mind just resets, they dont miss like we do
This anon is right. I believe every man should go through a breakup which destroys all the romantic bullshit he still had in his head. The sooner the better and be thankful there was no divorce and kids involved.
Just think how a girl can lovebomb you and cover your entire body with kisses and swallow your loads and saying how she LOVES LOVES LOVES you when you know she's been saying that exact thing to the man before you. It's all worthless. It lost all appeal for me. And that's a GOOD thing.
You guys should really, REALLY stop focusing on finding the one. Just frick from time to time, be out there, and simply wait for God to put a good woman in your life. Doesn't matter if it happens or not, it's God's plan.
But don't actively look for a comforting concubine you call "gf" and stop wallowing in self-pity and nostalgia for the times when you had one.
I am 35. I have no skills or friends. I live in isolation because the outside world makes me want to die. Every day goes to waste because I have nothing useful to do that will contribute to the rest of my life. I don't even know what to strive towards anymore. My hands are tied regarding the few things in life that matter to me.
It's more so that God won't be angry, if I do it while not fully fit then he'll surely be angry but if I am fit then he'd see the effort put into it and wouldn't mind
I still miss my ex-fiancee. It's been almost a year and everyday I am reminded of my failure. Being heartbroken has led to so many things going bad in my life that I can't even properly sleep anymore. That's fun.
I wish I could get on with it and maybe find someone else but I don't want it, not really. Don't feel like I got a short or even that I deserve one, funnily enough, but trying to kill that desire hasn't worked. I'm a hopeless romantic, the two girls that were in my life were both gfs and I can't even stand the idea of a hookup. Maybe I am just not right in the head.
Oh well, life goes on. Either I die or I get better, but someday this will pass.
water .
I am so fkn tired of my anxiety, of being alone...
Day after day I tell myself that I need to go out and socialise with people , get a job and help my poor father,finish my citizenship application, get a girlfriend, that I am being left behind.And yet day after day fear stops me .I am so fricking tired of being afraid of people. I try to socialise with people but either they find me boring or difficult to understand because my language is shit yet I know the only way to get better is to keep on trying but what is the point if it leads to nowhere? I am so tired my anxiety, of my autism ,of this catch 22 that i live in, so fricking tired ...
I understand that this won't be the response you were hoping for, but anxiety doesn't exist (for example we don't even have a word for it in my language, only for a short-term worry).
You either want something bad, or you don't. And if you really want something, you will try regardless of your social shortcomings and learn in the process.
[...] >You either want something bad, or you don't
I want to change, I really do. It is not the first time that I try in fact. Is just that no matter how hard I try I can never shake of that voice In my head that say " you act like a moron " , " people don't like you ". Sometimes I ruminate for hour on something bad that happened even though I KNOW I shouldn't. I just can't shake of the dread that people cause me.
>You either want something bad, or you don't
I want to change, I really do. It is not the first time that I try in fact. Is just that no matter how hard I try I can never shake of that voice In my head that say " you act like a moron " , " people don't like you ". Sometimes I ruminate for hour on something bad that happened even though I KNOW I shouldn't. I just can't shake of the dread that people cause me.
I'm overall pretty content with life right now. I'm only jerking off once a week and trying keto again >Inb4 keto schizo
It easy not to eat unnecessary carbs and easier to track what you do need and losing my virginity is no longer a priority as I'm approaching 23 in 2 days, I'm more focused on my career and I'm going to hit a PR of 495 on deadlift >Again inb4 snap city
I actually know how to lift and this is a really good and progressive peak in my life wagmi
My friends and family look at me and think I've made it, but little do they know I havn't had a gf in 5 fricking years
A girl I've known for years and really like recently moved to my country and we've started talking alot more
It's going good, but I might be friendzoned and I'm not certain
This month, I'm planning on calling her and telling her how I feel
If this crashes and burns I'm getting yuge and moving my career to asia
Merry christmas lads, wish me luck and good luck to you too
Are you fricking moronic? Stop watching anime, in real life you don’t call a girl and “tell how you feel about her”, you ask her out and let things happen
Fricking weebs man
My life only continues due to unnatural influence. I should have died in childhood from my illnesses, and modern medical science just manages to extend my functioning further.
In some ways I'm grateful that I can live longer than people used to with this horrible shit. Yet I hate it because now I am beholden to living in miserable corporatocracy to pay for the drugs that can extend my life. Man is not meant to sit in front of screens, review spreadsheets and get shit on by some boss who gaslights those below him into thinking he is so self-sacrificing.
I'm finding it hard to justify continuing on.
When I drop my child off at school today I am going to force my 338 pound worthless fat American ass on my exercise bike for at least an hour. Then I will do an hour before bed. I will force my worthless, lazy, cowardly American fat ass on the bike two hours every day high. This is the moment I stop being a worthless goyim.
you're not going to be able to do it. doing an hour+ on a bike is very hard for me and I'm fit. just get on a diet, an hour on a bike is only going to burn 400-500 calories anyway, you'll wipe that out with a single "snack" based on how fricking fat you are already
do cardio, but don't plan on being able to burn 1000 calories a day doing cardio when you're a barely functional landwhale homie. start doing OMAD and track your calories
The first thing a fatty should do is light exercise, the benefits are almost instant, fixing your diet is obviously the immediate next step, but going from larding to light and eventually moderate cardio is a big feeling of success that's a good basis for proper weightloss with a diet regimen. Losing weight might be all about diet, but for fatties, the process is extremly dependent on slowly replacing the instant gratification they get from food. That being said, he likely can't do 2h of light exercise bike cardio immediatly, but something in that ballpark (maybe an hour at first) is a good goal to work towards that can be achieved in a reasonable time frame
to be fair I NEVER do light cardio. I probably wouldn't survive an hour straight at 170hr
but that also means he's going to be burning like 200 calories in an hour even if he does it. 300+ pounds is totally dysfunctional tier
>300+ pounds is totally dysfunctional tier
Depending on height, but yeah it's pretty big. It's not about the calories though, your metabolism is in fricking sleep mode if you're at that weight and sedentary, just getting half an hour of light cardio into your day can make a pretty quick and huge difference in how moving around in your every day life feels, these kinds of positive changes that your body can immediatly work with are a good place to start with when it comes to breaking the fat-cycle
any diet that allows him to get down to sub 200 pounds in less than years is going to be crippling
we're talking fasting here, it's not going to be pleasant
1 year ago
Anonymous
Who said anything about getting to 200lbs in a year? If you're not seriously obese, weightloss is pretty simple, but if you're the type of person to pass that threshold it becomes an entirely different ordeal. If OP actually wants to change, that doesn't mean getting to 200lbs as fast as possible, it means getting to 300lbs and keeping that, then getting to 280lbs and keeping that, then getting to 250lbs and so on until he reaches a somewhat healthy weight that he can be active and comfortable at. To salvage a 300lbs+ body isn't an easy task, and people shouldn't be under the illusion that they can just fully crack a lifetime of pathologic habbits and keep a normal weight, but they can gain a tremendous amount of quality of life and return to participating in society in ways that allow them to be happy and contend with themselves
Based and Dadpilled, keep biking and break the fat-cycle for yourself and the next generation
Update... Put best of 80s synthwave with saxophone on YouTube and peddled my fat ass for exactly one hour. I be in sweat like an American man. Here we go gentlemen.
I’ve only been lifting for a month, and it changed me. My fear of women and other people in general fell off dramatically. My interest in women also spiked dramatically. I don’t know if it’s because I learned about ‘resistance’ from an excerpt from War of Art, but damn if things aren’t finally looking up for me. We’re all gonna make it bros.
>6'2", IST enough to get the occasional mires >Meet grill on hinge >Talk about how our society is kind of shit when it comes to communication and the dating scene >Both agree that communication is super important >Meet up the same day we started talking >Start out at a starbucks, end up going to an arcade, all in all the date lasted about 8 hours >No awkwardness, occasional laughter, both engaged in conversation >End of date asked her for her number, but it was cold as shit so I said just toss it to me on hinge >Small talk the next day about how the food might have gotten us sick, but it was strangely presentable for a fricking dave and busters >3rd day she unmatches me with no explanation
It's getting harder and harder to have any empathy for women.
When every date you go on ends in being ghosted, whats the point of trying again and again? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result
>Seek average woman >Meet low quality woman >Get nowhere many times >Begin treating all woman like low quality women >They become jaded and become low quality
Dating apps work like that, you're not meeting a women by chance, you're meeting her because she's looking for a guy , and while you can never be certain that any women you meet isn't talking to other guys, you can be certain that a women on hinge is doing just that, so you either get a date and escalate quickly, or chances are you'll miss out. There's no "starting off slow" phase and just having small talk after an 8h date, you're both on a dating app, you either go for it or not.
There is a level at which a man exists in which the category of existence becomes less common.
There is both an ascent and descent from normalcy that a man can achieve in his life. To be extraordinarily weak, to be extraordinarily strong. What separates the man from these extremes is the force of will or lack thereof, which motivates all actions away from the norm.
In search of comfort, of safety, we are compelled to march along paths laid before us without daring to break off to the left and to the right.
Yet, unprovoked, without being forced or coerced, a man may ascend beyond what is given, expected, or even believed to be capable, by the transformation led by force of will. By the vital fire within mankind that yearns for the strength to command fate and defend what is precious.
In this process, the man becomes unusual. Unusually strong, unusually keen, unusual in the sense of being beyond. Unrequested, without demand, the man simply chooses to ascend beyond what is expected or even believed to be capable.
Maybe one day I'll find a girl and have a real relationship, but as the years go on it seems less and less likely. I'm 25 and never dated anyone or had sex. What kind of woman is going to want to deal with that? I feel like I've missed the window where I can reach these milestones, you're supposed to have this sorted out by 22 or so or the end of college. I've already graduated and now I'm working with little free time. It honestly feels like it'll be impossible, and even if I do meet a woman attracted to me due to the years of inexperience I will come off as inept, naive, immature, etc and drive her away
As someone who is in the process of getting out of the exact same situation (at 27) I can only tell you the obvious: the longer you wait, the harder it'll get.
And yes, you are right, you will come off as inexperienced and likely fail at first. But that's the only way you can learn how to do it properly, like with any other skill. I'm in the process of completely fricking up a relationship with a girl I actually had feelings for (who sadly turned out to be a c**t, but my lack of experience also played a big part). It sucks and it's really painful but at the same time it made me realize that, well, this is doable. Mistakes I made can be avoided in the future. I no longer feel like it's unreal for me to flirt with girls, to date, to have sex.
But I've also started from a point where I was a complete social outcast who basically didn't talk to people IRL. I was afraid of having phone calls. I felt out of place even while shopping like I was some kind of an alien. So looking back at that it's crazy to me how far I've come and I'm glad I didn't give up.
Not that anon, but what specifically helped you?
I've struggled holding onto a job so I should be focusing more on a career and money, but I honestly feel lost socially.
Socially? Really nothing specific besides just forcing myself to be social. Helped that I still had opportunities as I was in a sort of training period in my career with a bunch of my peers. I also did it step by step so starting with just having conversations, then getting involved in some activities, then initiating them too. That went pretty well. Then I got a crush on a girl there, not gonna go into specifics but I probably made every mistake you could make when trying to build a relationship, it also took me months to make any sort of move on her. It was miserable and humiliating at times but as I said before, there's no other way really. I made a choice at 24 that I would at least try to confront my irrational fears. It really doesn't feel that scary or impossible after you've tried it at least once.
Socially? Really nothing specific besides just forcing myself to be social. Helped that I still had opportunities as I was in a sort of training period in my career with a bunch of my peers. I also did it step by step so starting with just having conversations, then getting involved in some activities, then initiating them too. That went pretty well. Then I got a crush on a girl there, not gonna go into specifics but I probably made every mistake you could make when trying to build a relationship, it also took me months to make any sort of move on her. It was miserable and humiliating at times but as I said before, there's no other way really. I made a choice at 24 that I would at least try to confront my irrational fears. It really doesn't feel that scary or impossible after you've tried it at least once.
, getting comfortable talking to people and getting comfortable with putting aspects of your real personality into conversations was the biggest step to me. It helps to notice that people generally don't give a shit if you're a somewhat moronic as long as you're not a total freak and generally nice to people. Everybody has their social hang ups and the majority of people aren't extroverts that have an easy time holding a conversation, and everybody is bored in one way or another. Once I started having the most moronic conversations possible with people I barely knew, my social skills improved tremendously, because they either got what I was saying and we got along or they didn't and talking to them didn't matter in the first place. This is how I made my closest friends, making jokes and talking stupid shit, you can't "be normal" your way into connecting with someone on a meaningful basis
>got led on and ghosted by coworker because I was plan B >I keep my cool, distance myself but she acts kinda weird and avoids me at all costs >There's a job opportunity in her department which would give me a raise of 5 dollars
Is it not worth the /drama that may come? I would not make any advances again
Nta but what do you think is gonna happen >anon asked me out, I said yes and didn't go cause I set up two dates at the same time cause I'm a prostitute
How does that make you look bad ?
finally hooked up with this hot e-girl type that has been my friend for 10+ years. She's also in a relationship. I kind of feel like a trash can but at the same time I feel worse because I don't feel that bad about it. Just kinda conflicted.
Ran 3x, played hockey 3x, and lifted 4x this week alone. Wife wanted to be nice so she booked me a massage, my very first one. Just came back from one hour of a very fat, very pierced, and very hideous woman giving me a 'deep tissue' massage. She basically used her fat hands to move my skin around. I told her several times where I have the most pain and would like the most attention, but she didn't really care. Her belly was constantly rubbing against my head and limbs, and she was just breathing hard over me. After every limb she'd run her fingers down it a few times. Sensual music and lightning. I sat up ten minutes early and said 'ok thanks that's enough now' and just got dressed in front of her. The woman at the front said 'sir you need to check out here!' as I just walked out to the parking lot. I feel really, really, REALLY gross. My pulse is heightened and won't come down. I'm also a little pissed at my wife because I've booked her about a dozen massages over the years, all at different places, and I always pick the most attractive dude based on their linkedin or instagram (if there isn't a headshot on the website), because if someone's gunna be touching you, they may as well be hot. She told me she just booked the first available. Her face is right on the website and fricking hell. idk maybe I'm just being selfish. Thanks for reading my blog post. I really wish I didn't feel this way rn.
why didnt your wife just give you a massage (even if she wouldn't be the best at it)
she spent your money to give you a bad experience instead of taking the opportunity to spoil you a little bit
definitely not something to be happy about
Because she broke her wrist a month ago. Otherwise yeah we massage each other once a week. I'll still book her someplace quality so she can get her hair done too, and have a real professional massage her. Also she makes more than me so it's not MY money she's spending
this thread is literally just betas that went to the gym and are now complaining about getting used by women while also realizing that's the only way they will get any
LOL
I'm 28 and coming to terms with the fact that I wasted my youth and ruined my life. I haven't had sex since 2015 and haven't had a girlfriend since 2010. I'm completely bald and have loose skin and stretchmarks from being a fatass. I'm going back to school because my previous career was going nowhere, and living with family to save money. I live across the country from all my friends and will get to see them every 1-2 years if I'm lucky. I have no idea how to make friends or interact with peers. If I'm not on some kind of positive trajectory by age 30 I will probably kill myself to spare my family the humiliation of watching me grow into an old pathetic lonely man.
On the upside lifting and school are going well. I started playing the drums again, though I'm having pathetic fantasies of playing in a band like I'm 16.
>Be me >Mega loser mega fastass shitty childhood autist >Before turning 30 took the self improooooving pill >Fast forward 5 years of self improooooving > Doing well kinda Chad. >Still khv because you can't outlift autism and a VERY shitty parenting.
What should I do anons? You aren't as horny at your 30 so my dick isn't pushing the need to bring a woman into my life. But on the other side it would probably be good for me.
Should i hire a hooker to kick start my need to get women? Should i self improve to the point that women become easy?
>Should i self improve to the point that women become easy?
if you've been lifting 3x a week for 5 years you should already be pretty near the natty limit tbqh
if it's been on and off I understand, but even 2 or 3 cumulative years of 2-4x a week lifting will give you over half the gains you could reasonably make in your lifetime
You need to change your mind like you changed your body. Start hobbies, get out of your comfort zone, interact with women.
This idea that you can self improve yourself to the point where your attractiveness negates your autism doesn't work, trust me. The problem is that you are essentially pushing their expectation of your game upwards as you push your attractiveness. The more you improve, the more they expect you to make moves, be receptive to their advances and the more they are intimidated by you. Essentially the bonus you get from being more attractive is canceled out by the increased difference in your social skills to your looks.
Despite what the lookism incels try to tell you, it doesn't matter how attractive you are, women will never present themselves to you without effort. At some point between a woman seeing you and you sticking your dick in her you will have to interact with her. And you acting like a shizoid will push them away even if you look like a chad. Keep in mind that your lack of social skills is an immediate red flag of low status and reduces your desirability.
Most people know this deep down. But it's much easier for most of us to just hit the gym religiously and shit like that, instead of going out and actually facing unknown social situations and try to meet some people
Checked and ty for the advice. I was invited to a party with the box club, and your comment push me enough to go.
Bunch of sweaty dudes with very few women on sight, but every small step counts, right?.
Yes. I made a rule for myself. Every time I'm invited somewhere or otherwise have the to opportunity to go to a social event and I have no legitimate reason not to expect "I don't feel like it" I just go. Of course I had a few boring or awkward incidents. But plenty of great experiences and the only real success I had with women in my life where when I went somewhere where I didn't know what to expect.
And yes every small step counts. Even if the qt you are looking for isn't at that party, you will still practice your social skills. And when you eventually meet someone all those hours of practice will pay off
Have my exams in 4 days, didn't bother to work despite having 2 weeks for this. I've been on a mindset of regrets about my life since middle school. Always the same cycle with exams, I don't know how I manage to make it every year. I'm never in control of my life, i don't know how I will make it if I don't fix this shit
Honestly this is the worst year of my fricking life dude. > 26 > gf of four years left me > lost a writing job > step-grandmother potentially has liver cancer > 25k in debt because lol college > descending further into alcoholism and insanity
Finally got my script for fin. I know it's now or never but I'm staring at the bottle too afraid to start because anons have me worried about sides even though the ~~*doctor*~~ said it was safe and effective. Take it or not, I may never have sex again.
I don't want to be a wagie anymore i want to quit i want to disappear far away i don't want to live like this i dont want to live like that i just want to drift in this world until i die i am alone no one cares at my only social circle (work) what is the point
I unironically wish a bunch of us could get together and live in a community in the woods like ripped, racist amish. The government would invade and kill us all in less than 3 years though.
What I feel is. I am a human, exacly like everyone around me. And as a human, I feel human emotitons, just like everybody else. But, through my life, whenever the rare occassions come when I become angry or disappointed. Then this becomes an issue for everyone around me. Co-workers, friends etc. Just because I dont have the energy to be the pillar which everyone leans on all the time. I got my own shit. You know, I am strong, I can carry people. But I also have my own problems. And If I have a bad week, then it is not fair for coworkers and shit to complain or make a deal of out if, if I am happy and lightgoing 95% of the day.
Because if I got my issues, rarely, then I dont have any obligation or energy to deal with other peoples reacation to me having a bad day. Because then I have 2 problems. Their feelings and my own. And this is not fair nor easy. If I have a bad day then just gtfo and I can be normal rest of the time. I cant be happy 24/7.
>friends invite me to their church dinner thing last night >not religious, but go because I want to hang a bit with friends >19yo ex was there too with her fiance >still bubbly and friendly towards me >I definitely mog her fiance
I'm 28 btw. It was a very mutual breakup that I initiated. We had a lot of physical chemistry, but boy did that age difference start to show. I guess I feel good about the whole situation.
the thought that I'm leaving the possibility of this situation happening and shes with someone that I WONT mog, gets my ass up when i cba
pretty sure this possibility became ridiculous a while ago since i was already pretty fit before the breakup but i still use it to get up if im feeling lazy
Cheapest vodka you have
Been seriously thinking these past months about leaving everything behind and becoming a mercenary, an idea that's been lingering in my mind since i was 18. Life's been shit for a while now, 22, khv, a family which i hate, 3 friends from middleschool with whom i barely talk, uni's monotone and endless (medicine), the days pass on without even realizing it. I have no dreams, no aspirations, no hope for my future. Only thing i have going for myself is good physical condition. The thing still holding me back from enrolling is my old grandpa (funny thing he was a colonel in the army way back). He's the only one in my family that i care about and respect. Once he's dead (which sadly won't be long now since his health is getting worse) i'll either go to fight in ukraine (for russia) or somehere in africa, depending on how fond i am of death.
Oh and no, i won't an hero myself, not because i fear death, just because it's pathetic. Dying "for something" seems more "noble" i guess
>have a beautiful gf who I want to marry and impregnate >There's a girl at work 10 years older than me that I'm starting to develop feelings for
Get me off this ride please
Year has been dogshit. First love broke up with me, friendgroup broke down, grandpa bit the dust from alcoholism, I keep not meeting my goals in uni, anxiety and depression are just getting worse, and despite working out since last summer, I feel like I've barely made any gains.
In fact, I think at some point I actually lost some of the strength I've built. A few months ago my mental health was so fricked I barely ate anything at all, and couldn't get myself to lift. I remember one day all I ate was a single PB&J sandwich.
Feels like shit walking into a gym and being the smallest guy there, despite working out for a while.
i havent had a no-wipe shit for a while now
>not fibermaxxing
ngmi
I haven't had a no-shit talk to a woman in five years, they call me poopy boy behind my back now.
Less fiber. My shits have never been cleaner since I stopped eating livestock feed.
Eat more monkey feed
one gf please
ill take a peanut butter+chocolate syrup whey protein shake with a shot of
>dianabol
i need the extra boost to gains
>qt gf of 3 years breaks up with me a month ago
>did it over face time because long distance and I was traveling for work
>don’t show any emotion because I was unironically at the airport
>month passes
>start swiping
>have multiple girls that want to hook up and made out with one
>today
>knowing that sex will likely happen this week I text her to see how she is
>ask if she’s had any second thoughts
>she tells me no and that my lack of emotion more or less confirmed her decision
Girl is supposed to come over to my place in 2 hours. I just want her back bros. I had the perfect girl.
>she left you
>the perfect girl
not so perfect now is she? go to pound town and cum on this chicks face
It was pretty amicable. Neither of us have anything bad to say about the other. Just didn’t work out unfortunately.
if you can't actually identify why you were not compatible, that's the problem - I hope you realise this
She’s a med student expecting to make 400-500k with no debt and I make 63k a year and gained a substantial amount of weight following surgery. I’ve lost 30 pounds since then but I understand that it’s not attractive and that I’m not the same man she started dating.
She said that it was because our goals didn’t align
>She’s a med student expecting to make 400-500k with no debt
Those are some high expectations. 500k is extremely high end for a Doctor, and no med school loans means she came from a seriously wealthy family and you likely stood no shot unless you stack up.
Her family is very well off but they’re blue collar at heart. Very good people who treated me very well. Her dad is a retired trooper who made it big on real estate and yes they paid for med school, but only because she got a full academic ride to undergrad.
Yeah I know. I don’t stack up but I want to for future situations.
wish i could fucc me a rich girl if it meant id never have to work again.
cool, gotta be a better version of yourself then - when she was talking about goals, she meant that it felt like she cared more about you kicking ass than she did, and the lack of feelings bit afterwards confirmed it for her
ultimately, she wasn't the right person for you because she couldn't help you be the best version of yourself, however fair or unfair that is
make yourself into the best version of yourself, find the person who best suits what you want and need and apologise to no one for selfishly pursuing both
if you can get girls like that once, you are definitely in the right league, so chin up old boy and you could be dating someone with bigger breasts, a bigger bank balance, raise your kids and who would sacrifice the world for you in no time
you deserve someone you think is a goddess who treats you like a god, and yes someone that dumb really is out there, I promise you
now put one good foot in front of another and start walking towards your destiny, don't turn Eurydice to stone by looking back now
Was it the recovery that caused the weight gain or did you get lazy? Medical school is stressful enough without a boat anchor of a partner holding one back.
Just got done it was bad! I miss my gf so much it’s unreal
We’re on pretty good terms after our discussion yesterday. Fricked some Asian chick last night which was okay.
Today my ex texted me that she got into a top 25 MBA program with a 55k scholarship. I encouraged her to apply and I’m very happy for her. Still wish we were together though.
>breakup with gf of 5 years
>asks if I think it's mutual
>"haha yeah of course" acting stoic because all the PUA advice from the past told me to not be needy and never chase (ignoring has worked in the past)
>week goes buy without message
>2 weeks
>1 month
She's gone. She's just fkn gone.
brother I don't think you know what Stoicism means
What's the best how to? Meditations?
Seneca
>She's gone. She's just fkn gone.
Yes, this is typically what happens when your girlfriend breaks up with you
Let yourself experience it. A feeling has a beginning, a middle and an end.
Trying to be cold and indifferent to a loss will only delay the pain or you'll just dig it deeper and it will eat your from the inside - and it IS a huge loss to detach from someone you've been so close to for so long. Getting over a breakup is not supposed to be easy if you have a heart. Don't deny your humanity. Being in love and suffering when losing someone you loved is what makes us human.
t. broke up with my gf of 4 years, took me 2 months to even start thinking about swiping
>What’ll it be?
A shot of vodka as always. It's been a rough patch, these last 2 months. But I managed to channel my heartache into creating a bodyweight routine, lost 4 kilos, reaching 10 pull-ups in one go, and walk for 2 hours almost every day.
Working from home, eating clean, fasting, exercising, living alone for the first time in years; I feel almost like a monk.
i can feel it coming in the air tonight lads...i will try to see her again and hopefully we can rekindle and i get my second chance.
One husband please
am i ever gonna frick a female again or am i just gonna stay this way
why dont i seem to care about anything in life anymore
I should've never stopped, I was running everyday. Did it for 370 days straight, was cut, disciplined, and fitter than ever. If I kept that up and started lifting I'd love my body so much more than where I am. And the drugs I'm smoking and the life I'm living are so far removed from that insane endless climb that distance running brought me towards. I was fast. Like Boston Qual Marathon fast, speedwork for 6 weeks I'd have been there I have a 1:29:31 half marathon.
I used to run like this too, its extremely hard to come back after giving it up. I feel like a different person than I was back then.
>my mother has tried to kill herself
>my sister has tried to kill herself
>my worst concern in life is that i have never had a girlfriends
im a monster
It's okay, anon.
Should have let them fo it then you could have atleast smash
You're comparing apples and oranges here anon. Your family have their challenges, you have yours. Its not a straight comparison, much less a competition, so don't feel guilt for wanting to be happy.
went before a judge for fricking a hooker today. got a small fine and that was that. but i've been stressing hard and have been in a constant state of dread since i got the call from the police a week ago. luckily it all got sorted pretty quickly cause idk how much more of that shit i could take. awful experience all in all, definitely never fricking a hooker again
Why is that shit illegal?
You're telling me your society thought two consenting adults having sex in private merited the intervention of law enforcement and the legal system?
Land of the fricking free!
It's Tuesday you fricking alcoholic degenerates
i can't drink but i'll take a diet coke no caffeine.
i'm really looking forward to the New York meetup even if it ends up being a disaster
I haven't drunk coffee in two weeks.
I feel much better now.
Are you sure it's not placebo? Unless you overdid coffee there is no real benefit from not drinking it
water please. Bros I dont know if this girl likes me or not. She randomly started sitting beside me in class and we've been talking a bit. I've been to her place twice and we just chatted and had some tea. Idk how to move forward or if shes even interested. This might be some plot for her to get me to do her work for her... its happened before. Im a 22y/o khv and have no idea how to assess the situation really
just say this montra over and over
>no free work for chicky chick
>until she sucks my dicky dick
>no free work for chicky chick
>until she sucks my dicky dick
i think you get the idea, realized your worth bro if she gets the free work done first what reason would she have to do shit for you?
you dont go to the store grab what you want and leave with it, then pay for it later.
nice trips.
I think Im just being paranoid. I meant that other girls got me to do work for them - not her. But your right
ask her out for drinks or food. make it clear that you want to go with just the two of you, or tell her it's a date. get to know each other, you'll know by the end if she's reciprocating or not. if you're completely socially clueless and can't tell by the end just tell her you like her and accept whatever answer she gives you.
I joined a new gym local to me today, and I feel so bad since I’ve realised how weak I am. I thought I was intermediate tier, and given the time I’ve been lifting (over a year now) I should be at least intermediate but I’m novice at best. My lifts are:
Ohp: 43.5kg for 3 sets of five reps
Bench: 5 reps of 80kg
Row: 3 sets of 7 reps at 80kg
Romanian deadlift: 3 sets of 5 reps at 85kg
How do I even get better?
who cares if your lifts suck, turn up regularly and improve them gradually, that's what real shit is made of
Yeah but it’s just really depressing honestly, I’m working myself until I can’t even complete the sets and I’m still so weak. I’m fat too
you should know that what you're doing is the exact right move in the situation you're in, and feel good about that
so long as you keep making the best moves, you will eventually see the best results
wanting to feel good immediately is just another problem you have to solve - if it's getting in the way of you making the best moves, regulate your goddamn emotions
this is what it means to be a man
if you could wave a wand and be as strong as you wanted, you would ironically be pathetically weak
now stop whining and overtraining
>How do I even get better?
Believe it or not anon, but average lifts may be the least of your problems right now.
I am cheating on my gf currently with a femboy at my uni gym and its kinda been eating me up everyday I spend time with her and I am sexting my femboy in the back idk what I should do baka
Get a rope
Kys post haste
Shot of vodka, whatever's cheapest
Im still finding it such a struggle to make friends & keep friends. I missed a really important window for developing healthy social skills when I was younger & now at 26 I just feel like a fish out of water whenever I'm trying to navigate a friendship with somebody.
I used to paper over this gap in my life by talking to girls, jumping in and out of relationships, cheating constantly etc. but it always left me feeling empty inside. Its been a terribly lonely life, honestly.
the past is gone - forget everything about missing windows, all you have to work with is how you are now
you are likely trying pretend to be what you think people want to compensate for your crippling insecurities
this is sabotaging the depth of intimacy of the relationships you are able to form
represent yourself honestly, sometimes that's meant to be feel like shit, and sometimes you will get made fun of, dumped or ghosted
by trying to artificially prevent these from happening because you can't deal with the resulting bad feelings, you are robbing yourself of the growth that comes with lived experience
the authentic life you live as a result of these changes might be smaller and dimmer than your bullshit front at first, but you will feel 10x happier with it because you know it's real
tl ; dr stop being manipulative with people to avoid bad outcomes and be genuine instead
There's a lot of truth to what you're saying. We all try to represent ourselves a certain way though, right?
of course, we all strive to say the right thing to the right people at the right times
there is a fundamental difference between choosing to say what you think other people will like and making that the basis of your character, and choosing to say your truth in the most decent and fair way you can
people will want you to tell them they're good people, that they're productive, that they're not addicts, that you love them
but the right thing to do is tell you what you really think, even if it hurts them, because pretending to be someone you're not and prioritising their immediate feelings over their long-term well being is poison for both of you
if you have a truly good friend, you might do something bad enough that will cause them to beat the shit out of you to try and get you to see the error of your ways
someone who always tells you that you've done the right thing, or stays silent to avoid conflict, is only your friend when it's convenient
The kid I was in my early 20s was the exact brand of hyper self conscious manipulative weirdo you initially described. These days though, I feel pretty settled in my thoughts and views on life, what my priorities are, whats important to me etc. And I think that comes through in how I talk to people. I'm not afraid to challenge people or offer up my conflicting views on things.
Tbh what spurred my initial post was that a friend ghosted me over the weekend. He's a cool dude and I thought we were pretty much on the same frequency & it's kinda getting in my head a little that things are falling off already. Its not just him either. I've had a few people over the past couple months who I really hit it off with initially, but then they just fell off later.
I'm talking "missing windows" and shit because, I dunno - maybe this is just normal? Maybe not every connection is supposed to stick? I'm not afraid of rejection or getting criticized, I just don't exactly know how to navigate social topography. These kinds of things are a little demoralizing & I start to wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
I might just be getting a little in my head though.
ok, so two possibilities here:
- it might not be you, people are dealing with their own shit, and if you're a former self-professed weirdo, chances are the people who were comfortable with you are also weird
- there are things you are doing that are causing this that you are currently unaware of
really deep dive into how you talk to people, frequency, topics, intensity, duration - there's going to be something there
you might come off as clingy, or abrasive, or inconsiderate - you can authentically be these things as well
might not be how you talk, but how you listen
>clingy, or abrasive, or inconsiderate
I hit all three from time to time.
Maybe not clingy so much, but I can have a pretty nervous energy when I'm talking to someone. Laughing a little too much, etc.
Oh well. Tomorrow's another day
Why'd you cheat?
late bloomer here
i developed late but now find in a position where i'm rather liked by people, but im still very selective of people to call friends
develop your loneliness into a healthy calling for you to improve.
people need avenue to vent out, this is healthy and you damn well now this isn't somewhere like tumblr where everyone will give out validations or le upvoots
move on, she's not the one.
I haven't had a genuine social interaction in months. I only make small talk with coworkers and store clerks. How do I break this cycle? Do I need to do something gay like volunteer. I am becoming socially detached and would like some bros and a gf
be more open with people and be a better listener
do not think out loud when you talk to people, or talk over them
Good advice, I am too moronic to apply it but I will try
don't jump to the conclusions of conversations based on what you think people want basically
go through one line at a time, don't try to skip ahead and be present and genuine
expectations kill intimacy
I would like a hug please. Just some sort of physical contact with another human. I guess I may hug someone around Christmas, but those are more of a formality than anything. It's just been so painfully obvious recently that I am sleeping alone in a bed made for two.
Touch starvation is a real killer, you should receive physical affection 8 (EIGHT!!) times per day to maximize the benefits.
>you should receive physical affection 8 (EIGHT!!) times per day to maximize the benefits.
Just go on without me bros, I'm not gonna make it...
The good news is that it doesn't have to be a human, studies show that affection from a pet is effectively the same as if from a significant other.
Even if I wanted to I couldn't where I live.
Also sounds like a bad idea tbqh, even if the effects are similar it's still just a surrogate for genuine human relationships. Like couples getting pets instead of children.
Physical touch from someone you care about is like crack cocaine.
>physical affection 8 (EIGHT!!) times per day
>per day
This cannot be real right? I've been hugged like 5 times this entire year and that's more than usual. I know that I crave physical affection/intimacy more than anything and I know it's bad to not have it, but is this really the solution to my misery? Daily hugs?
It certainly depends on the person, but yes you should receive some kind of touch from a living regularily. However, as I posted here
it can be relatively simple to accomplish.
Jesus Christ, reading this thread is the saddest shit I’ve seen in a while
Work on yourselves, seek truth, and live your best life. Wallowing in your sorrows/anxieties and typing paragraphs on 4chin will not make you feel better.
>get masters
>find no job with it in 3 years since that will pay me a livable wage because I'm not in a rich family or a hot young girl
lmao
what can I even do with little/no experience that will pay $25+/hour, that isn't backbreaking construction work? and i don't even know if they'll start you that high, fricking doubtful
everything i see is entrylevel bullshit, even basic WFH jobs on indeed have hundreds or thousands of applicants
keep looking, change areas, get other qualifications and actually network - ask people and ask people to ask people
you only need to find one job
keep grinding until you do
it will happen, but not if you look at your competition instead of the goal
>change areas
yeah I'm flat broke, holy frick I wish I could simply move to another area like everybody tells me to; even then rent is astronomically high all around the country
tried everything else, please keep your platitudes to yourself
platitudes?
no senpai, that's basic economics
how long have you been trying for and what have you done
move country if you have to dumbass
i sure hope you got a scholarship or paid your own way, if i keep seeing any government just shelling out money to burn on useless paper shit like that im gonna go insane. homosexuals cant even spare the meager salary of one detective to find some Black person who vandalized my car but can give billions to run institutions that train people for nothing
>errbody wanna be a CEO but no one wanna start from the frickin bottom
I got on Ritalin recently because my grades started to spiral, and I still cannot encourage myself to work until it’s well into the night and the effects of the Ritalin have worn off. I spend the rest of my day either working or aimlessly surfing the internet pursuing whatever random interest or question comes into my head. Maybe I’m just terrified to discover that the Ritalin doesn’t work, proving that my ADHD and dysgraphia were never the problem and that I’m really just lazy and moronic. I don’t want to believe that the slow, incremental descent of my mental health and life are completely the result of my actions, especially now that I’m an adult and I’m expected to be totally in control. I don’t even have a drivers license on account of my awful focus.
A cup of water.
I broke up with my long distance gf (we travled to see each other a couple of times) of three years 4 months ago. It's been quite tough. In fact, I think am going through depression, which is not surprising since I've been a sad c**t all my life. I was happy with her most of the time, but there was a lot of bad shit too . That plus me being a moron who is never satisfied with reality... We maintained contact (basically her choice, I felt guilty of breaking up and let her decide whether or no to keep contact) and have been treated like shit by her many times, but I still have feelings for her and blame myself for breaking up... I also was always considering whether we should try again or not... Anyways, she blocked me today after calling me names and all. I am sad. I guess my story is quite pathetic, but what can I do if I have feelings... I wish I was a better man and that I could just make the right choice...
Strawberry mango smoothie please
I need to dump my boyfriend but I just can't do it. Every time I go to break up with him he starts crying and begging me to stay and I cave. He does do a lot for me and he's a sweet guy but I just want someone who's ambitious. He smokes weed all day and has no real future plans. It hurts. I look at other men with jobs and ambitions and I feel disgusted with my bf. I know I need to end it but it's so hard to do. I worry I'll regret it as well, but I don't want to have kids with someone so lazy.
just do it homosexual ! he already knows its gonna happen So just rip the bandaid off! youre already looking elsewhere for other guys so relatiionship is spiritually over anyuway just finalize it homie
He desperately wants to save the relationship. I understand why, I'm way out of his league both physically and generally in life (he is very overweight and does not have a job or goals, this is not me bragging). I just feel so guilty leaving him. He can't even fend for himself. I buy him most of his stuff.
He doesn't have a job and decided he should go back to school for a second associates...
If he did what you mentioned I wouldn't complain.
Yeah that's essentially it. I feel bad. He's going to be heartbroken and his quality of life will diminish significantly once I leave. I can't take it when he cries.
I doubt you're my type, sorry. Smoking weed isn't an issue although I don't smoke.
You're with him out of pity. And even if he gets heartbroken, it might be a good motivator for him to change. Or, he's going to wallow in self-pity and do frick all. Either way it's not on you.
Leave.
I tried. But he cries and begs and I just can't take it. My heart hurts seeing him so upset. He calls me crying and I give in. Sigh. How do I be heartless ?
I don't think that will work. He has no real goals and if I demand him to come up with one it won't be genuine. I should leave but as I stated above I'm a b***h.
I started dating him two years ago because I had no self confidence. I now realize I'm actually decently worthwhile as a partner and I feel like I deserve someone who matches that but I feel guilty leaving someone who is so enamored with me.
I'm going to save this post, thanks anon. I'm not very good at being selfish. I wish I could be. I want to be. Frick.
I KNOW. I TOLD HIM THAT. I'm finishing up a BS in a decently cool field and he's getting a second AA and it is art related. I can't take it. My head hurts. He literally jokes about being a stay at home dad. Sigh.
>He calls me crying and I give in. Sigh. How do I be heartless ?
By breaking up with him face to face, saying all you gotta say, and ending it with telling him you want to cut contact. You block his number and everything. You're literally being emotionally manipulated by a weeping manchild. I thought it was only dudes who fell for girls' tears in these situations, and that girls would get the "ick" and leave over their bf being this pathetic but damn alright you keep on slayin queen.
How to be heartless? I don't know, listen to some hard music to psych yourself up.
give him an ultimatum there, you got your whole life in front of you and being dragged down isn't gonna be a fun ride i'll tell you
I just got to this thread don’t know the whole story but the love of my life leaving me was the hardest and the greatest thing that happened to me.
>I'm way out of his league both physically and generally in life (he is very overweight and does not have a job or goals, this is not me bragging)
ive heard this 'hot woman dating loser' shit so many times im starting to think women date people like this on purpose either consciously or unconsciously cos it gives them leverage and makes the guy unlikely to leave or cheat
ik talking about relationships in terms of power structures or whatever is kinda gay but it would make sense
If that was true then how come she didn't want me?
JDIMSA
>not her type
gay, dyke and gay and fake and YWNBAW
just kidding lmao. yeah theres a reason i havent had any kind of relationship in the past 10 years, i definitely dont want to do shit for anyone other than myself. nor do i want/need someone else being dragged down by me enjoying my life. that being said...
kick that dude to the curb, learn to be selfish for once. love your life and dont be ashamed or feel remorse for others feelings because theyll be the last ones to care about yours.
>t. dated over a dozen women over a span of years
>realized im tired of digging through sludge to find
the happiness i had inside myself the whole time
>a second associate's
lmao an A.A. is useless
Even though I hate weedtards and I agree you need to leave, I gotta know: what the frick is the female obsession with "ambition"? What if he had a decent job but didn't want to work harder and get promoted because it would mean more work hours and responsibility?
Women just want somebody who makes more money than they do, which is why women in high-income positions statistically reproduce less frequently.
I know that statistic, but I want a fem to try and explain what she's feeling/thinking.
You might as well ask a duck why it quacks
>what the frick is the female obsession with "ambition"
Women truly only care about one thing: Status. Wealth is just a natural byproduct of status. If you aren't overtly ambitious then you are seen as less likely to obtain or improve status. The problem really is that status has no upper boundary, you can always be richer, have a better job, a nicer house, cooler cars, take more exotic vacations, etc. This is where the pervasive thought of "Is he really the best I can do" comes into women's heads. They are hardcoded that way, all of them.
"Ambition" and "potential" are woman-speak for how much money the dude is bringing to the table. That's all.
as a real femoid (i hope) you have that empathy thing where you see a hopeless guy and you feel the need to take care of him even though he's a deadbeat
cut him off, the best thing that can happen that he takes it as a sign and goes on to improve, you will not be guilty for any of the stupid decision he does
best thing to do with it is to get work experience in your related field, then you can go on to be in academics.
Unfortunately, my field is experimental psych and, considering most jobs involving any research or aren't entry-level, want doctorates or are clinical-related (normally Counseling). Anything else is generic case manager shit or psych ward orderly making pennies at both.
My uni did frickall to help post-grad which has left me rather bitter.
try going for an associate diplomas or any other post graduate cert and look for an adjacent field of work.
i know it's more paper and studying bullshit but it could work out for you especially if you have good grades and can get scholarships
i dont smoke weed, i have a job. and im still lazy.
wanna frick? im a big upgrade from your current boy toy kek
>celebrated three years with gf on Sunday
>we end the night talking
>been dealing with some issues regarding marriage and commitment for a while now, and she pressed me about it
>basically told her I need to see more effort on her end with self improvement because I don't want to outpace her and grow apart
>she's upset (understandably) and avoiding me, but she's also restarted a personal growth program she dropped previously
I feel like I'm pushing her towards the limits of what she can take, but I also feel like she's not pushing herself at all unless I set it up, and we naturally move at different paces. It's like she won't do anything to improve herself unless she thinks someone is going to drop her.
I'm tired and frustrated.
I guess I'll just have water.
What does she need to self-improooooov? Is there something wrong with her? She's not enough as she is?
Basically, she's just kinda... not trying with life. No career ambitions, no personal goals, no learning new things, nothing. She just goes to work (at a job she doesn't like, but can't be bothered to leave), comes home to watch trashy TV and browse Instagram, and spends time on the weekends shopping or visiting friends and family. It's like she only cares for comfort.
I'm actively trying to better myself, always learning new skills, taking classes, reading, building my career, etc etc, and I feel like it's only a matter of time before I'm just in a completely different realm from her. I really want to take her with me, but... How can I, at this pace? I feel like I'm gonna wake up one day and think I tripped and fell into the time chamber or something.
I'm honestly not sure if this is just a me problem. I started therapy last week to try to sort it all out, because I just can't fricking believe people are totally fine living like this, and it's throwing me for a loop.
Because not everyone has their shit together, or can work a fulltime job and have enough mental energy to do more shit, or have this "drive" to improve just for the sake of improvement. Don't get me wrong, not like you should settle for a total couch potato, but realistically speaking most people are fine with work, gym, and spending time with friends and family.
If you found someone more like yourself, how would the two of you even find time to spend together?
maybe she found you and she's happy with what she have, maybe you can push her into something more but what's wrong with her enjoying what she has right now
Have you posted about her before? You need to bounce from that instagram-browsing sack of brain rot.
seems like you two are meant for eachother
look IST we've played cupid and done our good deed for the day kek
>"Y-you're trans? That's perfect, I'm trans too!"
This is why my gf left me I think. It’s sucks and feels very demoralizing afterwards. I am working on improving myself again now.
you are not responsible for her feelings
boundaries are healthy and even if they end a relationship, it's a good thing
if she can't meet, or more accurately doesn't want to meet your standards, it's better that you get out
don't feel bad, either way this is what's best - the right thing isn't always pleasant
Well, after we talked on Sunday, she also deactivated Instagram. I've got a good feeling about that. Hopefully she can see how much it was affecting her and how much time it was taking up.
less than 7 days before she reactivates it, remember this post
I'll be watching VERY closely.
Get on it, anon. Life is too short to waste, and too long to spend wasting it.
>Get on it, anon. Life is too short to waste, and too long to spend wasting it.
I don’t know much else I can do though. I lift and do HIIT class pretty much everyday. Im planning to back to school in a couple years and switch industries to something higher paying. I go to church pretty much every week. I’ve been seeing a bunch of prostitutes since the breakup and it just makes me sad.
How do I direct my rage towards productive purposes? I have an IQ high enough to understand that chimping out will get me nowhere but the anger hurts my ability to focus.
you need to find the meta feeling behind it
people aren't simply angry because they're angry, nor are they angry because of the immediate trigger of their anger
resolve your anger by working on, minimising or otherwise managing the root causes
if people don't listen to you, find ways to make them or find other people who do
if your job frustrates you, change how it works or change your workplace
if you are stuck with the things that make you angry, try and put yourself in the best position possible to handle via self-care, space and good things that balance them out
rage isn't rla power source, it's a message
listen to it
I just want a meaningful life
>be me, last night
>put kids to bed
>climb into bed with my wife, big spoon
>she has a thong on, rarely wears one
>thought she was on her period but OK
>grope her asscheeks unashamedly
>slip my hand under her shirt
>no bra either
>wasn't expecting sex, haven't had it in a week, welcome surprise
>play with her breasts while she pulls my shorts down
>she's super horny, unusual, already moaning and grinding against me
>"make me cum anon"
>"then do my ass"
>wtf is going on she hasn't actually asked for anal in years
>pull her to the edge of the bed, rip the thong off, spread her legs
>literally thirty seconds in I go in, hit just the right spot, and blow my load in her like some 16-year-old getting his dick wet the first time
>frick me
>keep pumping but I'm on borrowed time
>she gives up, climbs back up in bed, go back to spooning with my hand on her pussy
>fuuuuuuuuck
>be me, last night +40 minutes
>wake up from dozing, hand still on her pussy
>start rubbing her
>after a few minutes she turns over, points to lube on the nightstand
>start fingering her ass
>"I need your dick anon"
>get on top of her
>can't get hard enough to get in her ass even 40 minutes after
>end up fingering her until she fakes an orgasm
>be me, today
>mad all day at work because I wasted a super horny wife on some rookie bullshit
>come home, cook while she gets kids in bath
>she comes down wearing a nightshirt before kids come down for dinner
>while she bends over counter reaching into cabinet I pull up her nightshirt
>now it's a G-string
>"I wore this all day at work thinking about you anon, I need you to take care of me tonight"
>first of all, where the frick is this coming from all of a sudden
>second, can't tell her I don't think I can go multiple rounds anymore
>now I'm about to have to go up there and put on the performance of a lifetime
I'm either too young for this bullshit or too old, I can't figure out which
shit i have the same problem too like you all the time anon haha us and our suddenly randy wives haha
It's not all it's cracked up to be anon, it's actually frustrating as shit.
Maybe not for the guys who have wives who frick daily or who come to them for sex. But when you have one who is on and off and who won't just come out and say she needs some dick but makes you find out like it's a fricking scavenger hunt the pressure is insane.
I've been doing this 11 years now and I think I liked it better just hitting women up in bars or on thefacebook because at least then it was cut and dry. She was either interested or not, if yes then you run through your game and if no you move on. When you're married you're on your game 24/7 because everything you do affects whether you're getting laid that night, not to mention all the things that can wreck your shit like having a kid run in the room and jump in the bed with you right when you finally get your hand down your wife's panties.
Then the missed opportunities, if I hadn't gotten in bed last night and decided to spoon, if I had stopped to watch football or whatever, I wouldn't have had sex and she wouldn't have said a word, or she would have texted me today at lunch saying she was waiting on me last night so then I'd be mad about missing that. But then it's pathetic when you have to constantly beg for it when she's not interested, I could just as easily have been spooning last night and she'd get mad because she wasn't in the mood. If she hadn't been wearing what she was wearing there's not a whole lot to go on. I'd hate to hear how many times I missed sex because I didn't want to drag myself down and beg for it when I didn't, in fact, have to beg for it.
Then the horniness level, I'll get vanilla barely-interested missionary five times in a row and then suddenly one night she's sucking my dick or asking for anal. Or the frequency, we'll frick every day for a week then go three weeks with nothing. I've gotten to where once I seal the deal I just do what I want with her but it's a crapshoot whether she'll be into it
bro i wish i had these problems, i feel you tho in the sense that no matter how things are going i can always find some way to b***h about it
I FRICKING feel you man.
It's either me initiating sex every. Single. Time. And being made to feel like a borderline spousal rapist because she is so clearly ambivalent about the whole thing.
Or, I take the hint and don't pay her as much attention, and then get all the stamping around the house and aggressively wearing makeup and perfume and being asked if I think the girls at my office are pretty.
Just cannot fricking win. I'm considering putting a three-times-a-week sex rota on the bedroom wall, there's nothing sexy or spontaneous about it but at least I'd know where I fricking stand for once.
Get some illicit research tadalafil and try not to OD and ruin it for the rest of us.
This is exactly the shit I'm talking about
>be me, three hours ago
>head to bed with the intention of fricking my wife's brains out
>spoon again, rub her leg, rub her butt
>she's too busy browsing Facebook to respond
>put my arm around her, give her a few minutes
>start up again
>"ugh anon my back hurts, I was running around all day at work"
>sounds like you need a backrub then
>"I'm serious anon"
>she rolls over anyway, I rub her back with one hand, liberal ass squeezing
>"c'mon anon"
>woman, you are the one who's been wearing a G-string all day. do you want to get fricked or not?
>"ugh"
>she is snoring five minutes later, I keep rubbing her back/ass for a few more minutes
>wake up three hours later when a kid dive-bombs us in bed
Like, what the frick do you want? I've got shit I need to do and I don't really want to fawn over you for an hour hoping to get my dick wet and then looking like a moron when I don't, so don't lead me on then change your mind.
Viagra, you're welcome.
what does love feel like anons?
I feel like I might already love the girl I'm seeing, even after just 2/3 months
>she's kind, thoughtful, considerate, hard-working, family-oriented, intelligent
>she's beautiful, committed to self-development, easy to talk to, honest, endearing, genuine
>I feel like I can be myself around her
>I want the best for her - I want to buy her nice things, I want to spend time with her
>would feel comfortable introducing her to my family
but I don't feel "infatuated" or "head over heels" or "butterflies". It feels like a deep knowing, a desire to see her have good things and be appreciated because I like who she is. is this love? to me it seems like enough. is it too early to express this to her? I want to be honest with what I'm looking for, what I like about her, and where I see things going in the future
Did she ever make your heart beat harder, and faster? Even just from thinking about her? Did you ever feel like you couldn't focus or concentrate on what you were doing because she kept popping up in your thoughts, compulsively?
I've had that "excited" feeling in previously relationships with women that I was incompatible with. Feelings of nervousness/constant excitement are not pleasant and I didn't feel comfortable around those women
what's the difference then between love of commitment and compassion, and being "in love"? infatuation doesn't feel like "love" to me, nor obsession. I still find her extremely attractive and sexy but I don't feel overwhelmed with desire. I feel a more "pragma" type of love
Well you do you then. Seems kinda pointless to me if you're not feeling shit like that from her.
what do you mean anon?
I mean what's the point in being with her if there's no fire? You know you don't have to be with a girl just because she wants to be with you, right?
but is "passion" the basis of a stable relationship, or is fundamental trait compatibility? I want to be with this girl, I'm asking if what I'm feeling here
can be described as love. I've experienced the "excitement/obsession/anxiety" and I'm pretty sure that wasn't love
Romantic love was invented by and is only felt by men, if that clears the true nature of it up for you.
I'm not dissuading you from finding your life partner or soulmate or whatever bullshit you want to call it but when you're deciding such things don't do it on the basis of "love"
If you think you love a woman romantically you need to figure out why instead of just going with that feeling. It's one of the few times your gut feeling will get you in trouble if you just go with it.
everyone experience love differently but the initial part will have that excitement part when you find someone that you feel worth pouring your heart over with, overtime that feeling will peel off and you will stay with that person because you feel it's worth to stay over with that person
this lovey dovey thing people feel is just a temporary thing anyway, it'll settle down in 2 months or so and then you go to the stable phase of the relationship where you really see the person for they are and decide whether this is the kind of partner you want to stick with for hopefully the rest of your life.
There is a difference between love (lust), love (compassion for another), and being /in love/.
you probably just like her, maybe see her as someone you can potentially love, I've been through that, but if you were in love you'd know it, your heart races when you see them, face goes red, you'll feel pretty fricked up for a long time after they're gone.
sounds like infatuation, not love. you really think lovingly married couples feel nonstop excitement after even 1 year together? that shit ain't even close to love bruv kek
I see all my friends getting married, and I feel a little bit jealous. I know I don't *need* a boyfriend, but I genuinely want someone who is love with me, and who I love back. But I don't want to download a dating app before losing weight first
You ain't gonna find love In a dating app. It's not impossible, but don't count on it.
I got in a minor motorcycle accident and fricked up my finger
I think I'll be fine but I feel very weird, my mortality and vulnerability has never been so apparent. I don't want to be killed by some stupid fricking boomer driving a piece of shit Saturn
Dying of prostate cancer at 80 is much more enviable.
>anon makes a post pretending to be a woman
>endless and instant (You)s
do better
I really want to share this somewhere but I finally managed to clear my sinuses after years of breathing problems and headaches.
Started sleeping on the floor with only one pillow, this stopped me from sleeping with my head propped too much and creating position induced sleep apnea.
I found a way to manually hold the sinuses open. Basically you take your right thump and kind of press into between your cheekbone and nose and try to push the cheek bone towards the ear, and also pull on that same sides ear downward and back a bit. It stimulates the sinuses to open and also holds it open. Then do the same on the other side.
I can finally fricking breath. I’ve had so many boogers big chunky ones all day.
i might have to try that i forget to wear my respirator at work sometimes and get home with my sinuses completely ravaged
That's huge, anon, I'm really happy for you! Clear sinuses is such a good feeling. I got a bunch of polyps cut out of mine, and it's a big help. Kinda miss those super boogers...
This is a valid point, and part of my confusion / hesitance. It's possible that we can balance each other out in such a way that she gets off her ass and I don't burn myself out working too much / never socializing. Also, I have to wonder if there's enough space in a relationship for two very driven people. Like you said, when would we even see each other?
Appreciation of what you have is not my strong suit, to be fair. I struggle to define the line with complacency.
I'm hoping it doesn't have to end the relationship, but my gut tells me it's only a matter of time until she snaps or I give up.
I have, yeah. Three years (and one year living together) was kind of a mental milestone for me as far as commitment, and I'm more confused now than I was when moving in.
It all works out lol
don't live in hope - you give her the choice, she chooses, and you both live with it
do not prolong the agony to avoid bad feelings if it has logically run its course
give her real, tangible goals that you can ask for because of real, tangible reasons
if she can't or won't meet them, explain the reasons again and explain it's better you broke up, wish her the best and offer to be a friend if you feel like it, and move on
you are ultimately trying to spare yourself the pain, not her
Imagine being married and being declined sex on the reg. Heheheh. Yeah.
Leave.
Take that as tacit permission to cheat. Drop hints about "never mind, I know the number of the local prostitutehouse, haha" and see if that spurs the b***h into action.
Had a shitty day yesterday. Finally got a job working on an ambulance. And I hated it. It was disgusting. The agency was bullshit too. The boss lied to me about a certain protocol which can hold you for a few hours after your shift ends to run more calls. The protocol is actually that shifts are 15 hours and not 12 they just tell you something like 9am-9pm but it’s really 9am-12am. Which is fricked up itself. Shitty unlivable wage means you must work 6 days a week to just get by. I hated seeing truly sick people all fricked up. Had a braindead guy and his soulless eyes really fricked with me. I would look up and just freeze staring into his eyes but I know he was dead. The nurses weren’t bathing him either in the month they had him. Alive, but barely even existing. It made me change my views and desires for if I’m on life support. I didn’t have the passion I thought I did. I feel gross. I quit after one day. It’s not something I have any interest in.
But now idk what to do with my life and I need a job. I’m about to just stay a NEET for a little more to do some fasting and finally cut.
get back on the truck anon. yes the lowers are lower than anything you've probably experienced before but believe me the highs make up for it.
>t. 5 year medic
>work 15 hours a day 6 days a week
you couldn't pay me enough
That's called a benefit pussy. You don't make shit but you don't have time to spend it, it evens itself out. Please. C'mon man. We need the fodder.
Man I don’t think I have any real interest in it anyways. Even if it was just an IFT agency, that one shift was enough for me to know it’s not for me. I thought I had this strong interest but I’m realizing I didn’t and what was so appealing to me was it being a hands on job instead of being in an office punching numbers all day. I think it goes without saying it would be u fair to patients, co workers, and myself to stay in it. I have the upmost respect for you guys and I’m a bit sad for it turn out like this but frick man it’s just not for me.
I value my free time way too much. Even if I had the passion I thought I had, I simply can’t put myself into a life that’s literally just
>work
>sleep sub 6 hours
>work
>repeat
Like if I’m up at 6am by the latest maybe I can squeeze lifting in there and have a few half awake hours to myself, but thats fricked up. If you love EMS and it gets your hard I could see that being acceptable.
And its not supposed to be about the money but frick I can’t justify killing myself sacrificing my health to essentially be at work 90% of my life for less than $20/hr. $15 is what that job paid and in my area that’s the most you’ll see. I had planned to go fire but I literally have zero desire to do that any longer.
Another issue is I’m not a people person. I don’t mean to sound homosexual but I’m a perfect example of a true introvert. I CAN interact with people, but it takes a lot out of me to do it, and maybe it’s some tism but I can’t really fake my emotions and put on a happy face for too long. Give me a shitty call with distressed family members while I’m sleep deprived and haven’t had a chance to even get fluids in me due to the volume and you can see how annoyed or sad or upset I am. I just don’t belong here.
The cons outweigh the pros way too much for me. I’m 27 this month and I’m broke with no skills or certs outside of EMT-B. I have no clue what I’m gonna do.
Try firefighter. Plenty of ex medics and ex cops in the job.
I reached out to my ex who I broke up with two months ago to see if she was okay. We kind of argued, then had a real talk. Basically explained I only broke up with her because I can’t do long distance, explained to her how anxious it makes me feel. I told her I want to be with her and I have so much shit to fix in life I just can’t do a long distance relationship that causes me to feel anxious because the anxiety will get in the way of my goals. But that once I’m closer to having things in life be better I want to try again. She’s hurt and is afraid to just expect me to come back which I feel is fair. But she doesn’t seem to realize I suck at getting girls and felt lucky to have her. I’m going to bust my ass so that I can try again with her and have getting rid of the 4 hour distance an option if I determine I want to take the relationship that far which I think I would but I’m not sure.
She waited to date me for 4 years and I feel crappy about it. I’m broke and just gave up on my planned career path after discovering it’s not something I have any desire or interest in doing so I have to figure that out, I have to cut some fat, and I’m in the process of beating some addictions, and just unfricking my life in general. She tells me she was happy with me but I need to remove all distractions to get out of this hole. I’d still be with her if it wasn’t long distance and just grind with her at my side. But it is and it makes me too anxious to focus on anything else.
It's really funny how desperate for attention women are
I'll take a club soda. Guh.... shit just ain't fair bros. Every girl I ask out either cancels on me last second or stands me up. Like why not just fricking straight up reject me in the first place? What's the fricking point of playing these stupid little fricking games and getting my hopes up for no reason? I swear the last 3 girls straight have done this to me. Why the frick does it keep happening. At least finals ends tomorrow, I've even neglecting working out the past couple weeks cause I've been so busy with it and work.
my fitness journey is progressing well, i have lost 41 pounds since around June, have stopped smoking weed apart from maybe once a week with friends and at a heavily reduced intake. Ive begun reading more and educating myself on self improvement and philosophy., i got a promotion a work too and have long term goals i wish to accomplish. However i still feel alone and still feel >tfw no gf and literally just want a nice qt to go on dates with and cuddle. To be loved and to love.
We will make it no matter how turbulent and difficult the journey may seem at times.
every single day it is getting better for you
things like relationships are not linear, but by loving yourself and taking care of yourself you make it so much more possible
you're in the home stretch
it was raining pretty hard, fog everywhere, I couldn't see shit, a cop came up behind me while I was driving down the highway, I got to the lights went forward and he pulled me over, I was in a left only lane going straight. I couldn't see the signs on the ground because it was too dark and went, that light specifically didn't have a left only, so I had no idea it was a left only. personally I feel like it's the streets fault for not having a left turn only sign you can see at night during rain. Is it worth going to court & fighting it?
Yes. Claim the signage was inadequate and the onus will be on them to demonstrate the opposite. Chances are they'll drop the charges rather than escalate or, heaven forbid, concede they have to improve the roadways.
At least thats how it works in Bongistan.
I am feeling pessimistic. I want to become the best version of myself but I'm to addicted to my screens. I feel like I could've conquered the world if I could get off the internet but don't know how.
find something else to do
read a book, go outside, cook something, talk to someone
all you need to do to break a habit is not do it
find other things
Embed small positive actions and build on them. Something as little as committing to read for 5 minutes a day, or promising yourself you'll shower and leave the house every day, even if it's just to take out the trash or go for a walk.
nah man, they're different as frick, a fricking hooker whos hot enough can make a guy feel butterflies, love is way different from puppy love 5th grade crush bullshit
lmao people use "I'm in love" with x all the time as adults, how do you explain that gay?
you do realize there's different types of love right? do you love a cookie like you love your wife? getting "excited" about something is irrelevant about whether you love someone in a permanent way. what if your wife gets disabled or disfigured? you sure as frick aren't gonna feel excited or "butterflies" to see her. but obviously, if you stay with her, you love her.
the idea that love = emotional stimulation is juvenile bullshit that should be left on the kindergarten playground
don't know what you're trying to get at, op is asking if he's "in love" in the sense that I'm talking about, and you're just being a semantic queer when in reality you don't realize love also means what I'm talking about and it's widely acknowledged that's why he described it being that way, but you're just a giant homosexual and feel the need to make that clear for some reason.
>in the sense im talking about
lmao youre moronic bruv, you're literally talking about grade school crushes when op specifically mentions its NOT a grade school crush
>it's widely acknowledged
are you in 7th grade? pretty much everyone outside of primary school can separate love and lust
>youre a homosexual
gb2 tiktok b***hboi zoomzoom
you're gay, you make shit gay semantic arguments and still lose, have a nice day
>sounds like infatuation, not love. you really think lovingly married couples feel nonstop excitement after even 1 year together? that shit ain't even close to love bruv kek
There's a big difference between saying "I'm in love with this person" and "I love with this person" even then people still use love to define the feeling I and he is describing "butterflies" "head over heels".
Give me a miller bottle
Gfs dad got diagnosed with leukemia. She asked me with tears in her eyes, if worse comes to worst, I’ll promise her father to always take care of her.
Life’s precious anons. Don’t waste it. Become strong enough to protect those who can’t protect themselves.
Been watching Friends recently and I want to frick Lisa Kudrow so bad, the fact that she's more than 30 years older than me in real life and was older than I am now when Friends premiered makes her even hotter. Yes I have seen what she looks like in 2022. Thanks for reading my blog.
She was an annoying forced-quirky wine-aunt c**t then and she's worse now.
You have had the pleasure of reading my rebuttal. Sources: Google it, I don't owe you my emotional labor.
24 yo khhv and socially moronic. Never been on a date. Fantasizing about hero'ing myself on my 30th bday. I would clean my apartment spotless. Destroy all stuff that wouldn't be passed on to family. Leave all assets in a neat stack on the table. No note. Gas bag.
I just want a girl to hold me.
i don`t understand how something so easy for other people it`s so impossible for us.
You're fantasising - ruminating - SULKING about a hypothetical bittersweet middle finger to your loved ones over half a decade from now, but you won't take action today to improve your chances?
The world doesn't owe you a girlfriend, buttercup. How many dates have you been on in the last 12 months? How many girls did you ask out? How many did you talk to, in person or online? Answer: not enough, evidently.
I just wish that I could reasonably become my own support system. I just want someone to hold my hand and guide me through life. I don't know how to become that person for myself.
In my case I started achieving that when I finally quit watching porn after a decade of trying and failing. I read easypeasy and it worked. Now I'm not sharing my brain with a demon and, not to imply at all that it magically solved all my problems, but I feel like I can be my own man. But in my case that's taken the form of constant anger overriding all anxiety that I feel, and I acknowledge that I need to address that. I guess what I'm saying is step one is to identify things in your life that make you feel like you don't desnerve happiness.
Only somebody more experienced or capable could become your "support system" but maybe think of it more like being a friend to yourself, rather than a critic.
The jobs I'm trying to apply for have a minimum filesize requirement for resumes. 4kb. Mine is at 3kb.
I thought adding my references would push me over the threshold but no, it's not budging. Wtf am I supposed to do
FRICK
I managed to submit it but I forgot to spell check it before sending. Its riddled with mistakes. Frick me.
Been sober 14 months after 10 years of drinking daily and a failed suicide attempt but booze has been singing it's siren song lately.
Why'd you quit?
Remember that booze literally has no benefit for you.
> anon it calms me down
And then you wake up the next day wracked by anxiety and guilt. I know you know exactly what I'm talking about. Remember every cope excuse the addictive voice gives and why they're all bullshit.
Ruined my life and mental health. I don't intend to drink again but sharing that I feel like it, even to anons, helps.
Avoid, distract, replace. Stay strong brother.
I already drank a bottle of wine tonight but give me some Gin on the rocks.
Been working out.
People tell me I’m attractive.
Had a week and half of getting drunk every night but Saturday I played through Snoot Game and cried intensely.
I don’t want to be alone anymore anons.
The crying turned my anxious misery into a calm misery so I guess that’s an improvement.
It's almost 4 am and I can't sleep. I also finally kind of realize why I've been so anxious for so long but idk what to do about it. I feel emotionally bound by my parents, like I'm not "allowed" to be a happy individual in a weird way. This has resulted in repression of my true feelings which in turn has caused me to feel inadequate and fearful around women and men of authority.
I feel like I need to say something to them to finally sever the emotional enmeshment which essentially happens in every movie ever, but they would certainly not take kindly to it or maybe even have any idea what I'm talking about, and idk what I'd even say, but I don't think I will ever feel able to take on life until I can somehow separate from them. I'm fricking 27 by the way.
Sounds similar to me anon, childhood conditioning can establish permanent mental boundaries on what you feel permitted to do, even well into adulthood.
There's the anecdote - probably bullshit - about how in India, they tie the baby elephants to a sapling using a thin rope. The elephant tries to escape or run to its mother but is too weak and eventually gives up. Even when the elephant is full grown, they still bring bit back after a day's work to the same sapling and tie it with the same thin rope leash, and the elephant doesn't try to escape. It's strong enough to easily uproot the small tree or break the rope, but it doesn't even attempt it because its remembers once trying and failing, and that has become its reality.
Confronting your parents with an angry monologue (and they apologise with tears in their eyes, and the the whole restaurant stands up and claps) is what would happen in some fricking Hallmark movie. In real life, parents are stubborn, cynical old shits who are actively invested in not admitting guilt or showing weakness in front of their children. You're welcome to try but in my experience don't expect understanding, let alone sympathy. The best weapon in your toolkit is grabbing hold of the realisation, pushing yourself repeatedly out of your comfort zone and demonstrating to yourself just how weak the sapling is, and don't waste any more time looking back. Be ready for people to jokingly or disapprovingly tell you "you've changed".
>It's almost 4 am and I can't sleep
thanks for reminding me anon, I've now turned off the main light and left only the sexy light on (and blue filters on monitor)
time to floss, brush and hit the sack
>finally stop being skinnyfat
>some girls start miring
>too moronic to make any moves
oh well
Water.
I'm tired of neeting lads. I know what needs to be done but im so fricking lazy. My days are maybe 30 minutes of work a day. I have to break this cycle
What do you do for the rest of the day
Are you living on your own or with your parents?
How much money are you making with your 30 minute work days?
Didn't manage to prove that the dimension of the domain of linear map is equal to the dimension of the kernel plus the dimension of the image.
Got halfway in (proved span) but couldn't prove the second half (independence) even tho it was so obvious.
Is it over bros?
Linear independence:
{w_1,...,w_n} basis of range(T) with {v_1,...,v_n} elements of your vectors space V such that T(v_i)=w_i. Let {u_1,...,u_m} be the basis for the kernel.
1.
>a_1v_1+...+a_nv_n+b_1u_1+...+u_m=0
2.Apply linear map T to the equation and use properties of linearity:
>a_1T(v_1)+...+a_nT(v_n)+b_1T(u_1)+...+b_mT(u_m)=0
3. Since u_i are in the kernel T(u_i)=0, so:
>a_1T(v_1)+...+a_nT(v_n)=0
<=>
>a_1w_1+...+a_nw_n=0
4. w_i are linearly independent. Therefore a_i=0 for all i in {1,...,n}
5. Putting this result in the equation from 1. we get this remainder:
>b_1u_1+...+u_m=0
6. We know u_i are linearly independent. Therefore b_i=0 for all i in {1,...,m}
7. {v_1,...,v_n,u_1,...,u_m} are n+m linearly independent vectors in our vectors space V and thus a basis. So dim(V)=n+m=dim(range(T))+dim(kernel(T))
Now go lift you moron
Should've read Linear Algebra Done Right bro
Linear Algebra Done Right is the first thing I tried to learn from but it is a very mathy math book(first thing you learn are direct sums like wtf?). Instead I am doing Lang's book and Paul's Halmos's problem book(which is very psycho too but I have gotten the hang of it). Rn I am feeling confident enough to read Linear Algebra Done Right.
is it normal for new students to struggle with the proofs? Sometimes I just miss the most obvious stuff and it's so painful. I am one failed proof away from changing my mind on what major I I will pursue(I am not in uni rn)
Lifted yesterday and between sets I did some LinAlg and successfully did a proof so there is that.
You get a feeling for how to come up with proofs after a while. What helps is just writing down known theorems and properties etc. Also this isn't really mathematical skill but in university you'll very likely only ever be asked to come up with proofs that are reasonably straight forward and always using shit you did in the lecture up to that point. So when confronted with some question, like proving the rank-nullity theorem, just look through the lecture notes for anything that seems relevant and play around with that.
I'm alone forever
35 and just ghosted a 25yo girl because I didn't really feel like seeing her that day
I have zero problems getting laid but after two breakupts I don't think my brain will never be open to the idea of a long lasting relationship, at least I'm making a lot of money in the country i live
>nothing to drink
Feeling fricking sick for past three days , and overall I hate to find myself again jumping on that “hype trendy shit” , I need to stay loyal to myself and the things that I like and not try to be something I’m not for frick sake.
I forget how hood b***hes are cool and icy ngl , they show me kindness.
I’m feeling so trash and damaged , frick I’m not used to it , so weak lmao.
Sorry for the rant. LORD bless you all.
mood:
https://www.theinternationalconnect.net/kalash-criminel-savage-ft-soolking-english-lyrics/
Also want to add that for past month were talking with homies that have kids about family life to see what’s up , I’m getting less anxious about it overall. It were nice to meet someone than to see him bring his kid to a pub while we’re getting crazy , two of my most vicious homies were sitting with his kid all night at the table and drawing , it was just beautiful to watch. And I dedicate this song to my other homeboy that told me “just be a simple man you know , tell her sometimes there’s cash sometimes there isn’t it” “ don’t overcomplicate yourself” , that’s when I told him I wanna buy my future wife loubutins and Hermes and just treat her with whatever, he’s wife is super chill and he have 2.
https://www.theinternationalconnect.net/lacrim-papa-trabaja-ft-brulux-english-lyrics/
>that’s when I told him I wanna buy my future wife loubutins and Hermes and just treat her with whatever
u dumb
yeah his wife deserve fully bespoke stuff i agree
IST and the internet at large has fricked my brain up so much I'm not sure I'd be able to have a gf anymore.
Can you elaborate?
I can't stop binge drinking. I had a handle on it for a while by only drinking cider once a week but the last two weeks I ended up drinking a litre of vodka and making an absolute fool of myself by messaging people absolute lunatic ravings through discord.
>hooked up with girl last night
>first time getting laid since gf left me
>Cum while putting the condom on
>she waits for me to be ready to go again in 15 minutes
>cum in 3 minutes
Pain. Luckily I’ll never have to see her again
>me watching this video, wanting to be less socially awkward
How do I resist the temptation not to cheat on my wife (29F). It's only been 3 months but a friend's friend (19y.o. 8.5/10) has been making it clear she wants to have an affair.
Assuming I could get away with it, why shouldn't I?
I love my wife to bits and all but damn...
>Assuming I could get away with it
A dangerous assumption.
Adultery is one of the lowest and scummiest things a person could do, if you're willing to destroy your marriage and break your wife's heart for some poon you're probably a subhuman
Im back again..
Gist of what happened.
>gf of 6 years and i break up because i was going through a stressful period during the goyvid mass psychosis
>I think we jsut need space for a while
>she moves out
>leads me on like she still wants me
>find out later she had been seeing someone while telling me she wanted to get back together
>get depressed as frick and cut contact
>sulk for months
>finally get on tinder
>meet really nice sweet grill
>we hit it off
>3 months in
>find a bunch of messages on app i barely use from ex spanning weeks
>telling me we were meant for each other, she loves me, sending me cute memes we used to look at
>it fricking rips my heart out and puts me back to square one
>I cant forget what shes done so i tell her its too late but im still hella depressed cause now i felt like it was me who made the final decision(i know logically she decided that but still how i felt)
>I had figured her new thing hadnt worked out and she was feeling nostalgic
>tell her I cant talk anymore
>feel even worse cause I have a loving gf who does so much for me and now thinking about ex
>try to repress all emotions
>nother 2 months go by and get message from ex
>we chat just catching up but still makes me sad
>find out she had still been with the dude while she was texting me she still loved me
>tell her never to talk to me again
I just miss the times we had together. I have so much nostalgia. We spent 6 years together. The amount of movies and shows and music I cant even think about watching or listening to is crazy. Everything just reminds me of her. Even my family. Watching my nephew grow up is now just a physical reminder of how long weve been apart. All this and she just treated me like nothing after the break up. Not an ounce of consideration for my feelings. Its just like the girl I loved never existed.
Lmao bro my GF of 4 years dumped me and never spoke a single word to me again, get over it
Dump your GF (you are not ready and it's not fair) and block your ex and just do yourself for a while man
women dont love the same way that men do, once she finds someone else you literally disappear from her mind
as you said when she contacted you it was because her new thing was going bad, not because she missed you
girls cry a lot for a couple of days but then their mind just resets, they dont miss like we do
This is the right path anon. Remember she basically dumped you for this other guy the moment you showed weakness, and now it hasn't worked out for her she wants to come back. It would be an enormous disrespect to yourself to get back with her.
This anon is right. I believe every man should go through a breakup which destroys all the romantic bullshit he still had in his head. The sooner the better and be thankful there was no divorce and kids involved.
Just think how a girl can lovebomb you and cover your entire body with kisses and swallow your loads and saying how she LOVES LOVES LOVES you when you know she's been saying that exact thing to the man before you. It's all worthless. It lost all appeal for me. And that's a GOOD thing.
You guys should really, REALLY stop focusing on finding the one. Just frick from time to time, be out there, and simply wait for God to put a good woman in your life. Doesn't matter if it happens or not, it's God's plan.
But don't actively look for a comforting concubine you call "gf" and stop wallowing in self-pity and nostalgia for the times when you had one.
I am 35. I have no skills or friends. I live in isolation because the outside world makes me want to die. Every day goes to waste because I have nothing useful to do that will contribute to the rest of my life. I don't even know what to strive towards anymore. My hands are tied regarding the few things in life that matter to me.
>crush likes a completely different kind of guy
Oh well
At least you know the joys of Buc-ees
As the Lord intended.
Whatever's cheapest. At what point would you guys consider a person fit? I plan to anhero once I reach point where I'm generally considered fit
And let the gains go to waste?
It's more so that God won't be angry, if I do it while not fully fit then he'll surely be angry but if I am fit then he'd see the effort put into it and wouldn't mind
Water, please.
I still miss my ex-fiancee. It's been almost a year and everyday I am reminded of my failure. Being heartbroken has led to so many things going bad in my life that I can't even properly sleep anymore. That's fun.
I wish I could get on with it and maybe find someone else but I don't want it, not really. Don't feel like I got a short or even that I deserve one, funnily enough, but trying to kill that desire hasn't worked. I'm a hopeless romantic, the two girls that were in my life were both gfs and I can't even stand the idea of a hookup. Maybe I am just not right in the head.
Oh well, life goes on. Either I die or I get better, but someday this will pass.
water .
I am so fkn tired of my anxiety, of being alone...
Day after day I tell myself that I need to go out and socialise with people , get a job and help my poor father,finish my citizenship application, get a girlfriend, that I am being left behind.And yet day after day fear stops me .I am so fricking tired of being afraid of people. I try to socialise with people but either they find me boring or difficult to understand because my language is shit yet I know the only way to get better is to keep on trying but what is the point if it leads to nowhere? I am so tired my anxiety, of my autism ,of this catch 22 that i live in, so fricking tired ...
I understand that this won't be the response you were hoping for, but anxiety doesn't exist (for example we don't even have a word for it in my language, only for a short-term worry).
You either want something bad, or you don't. And if you really want something, you will try regardless of your social shortcomings and learn in the process.
bad reply
>You either want something bad, or you don't
I want to change, I really do. It is not the first time that I try in fact. Is just that no matter how hard I try I can never shake of that voice In my head that say " you act like a moron " , " people don't like you ". Sometimes I ruminate for hour on something bad that happened even though I KNOW I shouldn't. I just can't shake of the dread that people cause me.
I'm overall pretty content with life right now. I'm only jerking off once a week and trying keto again
>Inb4 keto schizo
It easy not to eat unnecessary carbs and easier to track what you do need and losing my virginity is no longer a priority as I'm approaching 23 in 2 days, I'm more focused on my career and I'm going to hit a PR of 495 on deadlift
>Again inb4 snap city
I actually know how to lift and this is a really good and progressive peak in my life wagmi
My friends and family look at me and think I've made it, but little do they know I havn't had a gf in 5 fricking years
A girl I've known for years and really like recently moved to my country and we've started talking alot more
It's going good, but I might be friendzoned and I'm not certain
This month, I'm planning on calling her and telling her how I feel
If this crashes and burns I'm getting yuge and moving my career to asia
Merry christmas lads, wish me luck and good luck to you too
Are you fricking moronic? Stop watching anime, in real life you don’t call a girl and “tell how you feel about her”, you ask her out and let things happen
Fricking weebs man
wholesome reply dickhead, I am asking her out and I hate anime way more than you do
get fricked
Yeah better go back to Asia to buy a wife dumb frick
holy shit destroyed
Never tell a girl how you feel first. Trust me, I've learned that the hard way
I hate that whenever I start gaining weight when I try to bulk the first place size/fat shows up is in all the areas that make my pants feel tighter.
My life only continues due to unnatural influence. I should have died in childhood from my illnesses, and modern medical science just manages to extend my functioning further.
In some ways I'm grateful that I can live longer than people used to with this horrible shit. Yet I hate it because now I am beholden to living in miserable corporatocracy to pay for the drugs that can extend my life. Man is not meant to sit in front of screens, review spreadsheets and get shit on by some boss who gaslights those below him into thinking he is so self-sacrificing.
I'm finding it hard to justify continuing on.
When I drop my child off at school today I am going to force my 338 pound worthless fat American ass on my exercise bike for at least an hour. Then I will do an hour before bed. I will force my worthless, lazy, cowardly American fat ass on the bike two hours every day high. This is the moment I stop being a worthless goyim.
Based and Dadpilled, keep biking and break the fat-cycle for yourself and the next generation
you're not going to be able to do it. doing an hour+ on a bike is very hard for me and I'm fit. just get on a diet, an hour on a bike is only going to burn 400-500 calories anyway, you'll wipe that out with a single "snack" based on how fricking fat you are already
do cardio, but don't plan on being able to burn 1000 calories a day doing cardio when you're a barely functional landwhale homie. start doing OMAD and track your calories
The first thing a fatty should do is light exercise, the benefits are almost instant, fixing your diet is obviously the immediate next step, but going from larding to light and eventually moderate cardio is a big feeling of success that's a good basis for proper weightloss with a diet regimen. Losing weight might be all about diet, but for fatties, the process is extremly dependent on slowly replacing the instant gratification they get from food. That being said, he likely can't do 2h of light exercise bike cardio immediatly, but something in that ballpark (maybe an hour at first) is a good goal to work towards that can be achieved in a reasonable time frame
to be fair I NEVER do light cardio. I probably wouldn't survive an hour straight at 170hr
but that also means he's going to be burning like 200 calories in an hour even if he does it. 300+ pounds is totally dysfunctional tier
>300+ pounds is totally dysfunctional tier
Depending on height, but yeah it's pretty big. It's not about the calories though, your metabolism is in fricking sleep mode if you're at that weight and sedentary, just getting half an hour of light cardio into your day can make a pretty quick and huge difference in how moving around in your every day life feels, these kinds of positive changes that your body can immediatly work with are a good place to start with when it comes to breaking the fat-cycle
any diet that allows him to get down to sub 200 pounds in less than years is going to be crippling
we're talking fasting here, it's not going to be pleasant
Who said anything about getting to 200lbs in a year? If you're not seriously obese, weightloss is pretty simple, but if you're the type of person to pass that threshold it becomes an entirely different ordeal. If OP actually wants to change, that doesn't mean getting to 200lbs as fast as possible, it means getting to 300lbs and keeping that, then getting to 280lbs and keeping that, then getting to 250lbs and so on until he reaches a somewhat healthy weight that he can be active and comfortable at. To salvage a 300lbs+ body isn't an easy task, and people shouldn't be under the illusion that they can just fully crack a lifetime of pathologic habbits and keep a normal weight, but they can gain a tremendous amount of quality of life and return to participating in society in ways that allow them to be happy and contend with themselves
Update... Put best of 80s synthwave with saxophone on YouTube and peddled my fat ass for exactly one hour. I be in sweat like an American man. Here we go gentlemen.
I’ve only been lifting for a month, and it changed me. My fear of women and other people in general fell off dramatically. My interest in women also spiked dramatically. I don’t know if it’s because I learned about ‘resistance’ from an excerpt from War of Art, but damn if things aren’t finally looking up for me. We’re all gonna make it bros.
i decided to break up with gf and im fricking sad
Reason? I am thinking of the same
>6'2", IST enough to get the occasional mires
>Meet grill on hinge
>Talk about how our society is kind of shit when it comes to communication and the dating scene
>Both agree that communication is super important
>Meet up the same day we started talking
>Start out at a starbucks, end up going to an arcade, all in all the date lasted about 8 hours
>No awkwardness, occasional laughter, both engaged in conversation
>End of date asked her for her number, but it was cold as shit so I said just toss it to me on hinge
>Small talk the next day about how the food might have gotten us sick, but it was strangely presentable for a fricking dave and busters
>3rd day she unmatches me with no explanation
It's getting harder and harder to have any empathy for women.
See this is why I gave up on dating in general. This kind of thing kept happening so eventually I just said frick it why bother
She wanted the dick and did not receive it
captcha: 8XKHV
>Meet grill on dating app
>is a c**t
>"hurr women bad"
Every time
When every date you go on ends in being ghosted, whats the point of trying again and again? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result
I think it's how the circle begins.
>Seek average woman
>Meet low quality woman
>Get nowhere many times
>Begin treating all woman like low quality women
>They become jaded and become low quality
Dating apps work like that, you're not meeting a women by chance, you're meeting her because she's looking for a guy , and while you can never be certain that any women you meet isn't talking to other guys, you can be certain that a women on hinge is doing just that, so you either get a date and escalate quickly, or chances are you'll miss out. There's no "starting off slow" phase and just having small talk after an 8h date, you're both on a dating app, you either go for it or not.
There is a level at which a man exists in which the category of existence becomes less common.
There is both an ascent and descent from normalcy that a man can achieve in his life. To be extraordinarily weak, to be extraordinarily strong. What separates the man from these extremes is the force of will or lack thereof, which motivates all actions away from the norm.
In search of comfort, of safety, we are compelled to march along paths laid before us without daring to break off to the left and to the right.
Yet, unprovoked, without being forced or coerced, a man may ascend beyond what is given, expected, or even believed to be capable, by the transformation led by force of will. By the vital fire within mankind that yearns for the strength to command fate and defend what is precious.
In this process, the man becomes unusual. Unusually strong, unusually keen, unusual in the sense of being beyond. Unrequested, without demand, the man simply chooses to ascend beyond what is expected or even believed to be capable.
Who is to deny the few who truly wish to visit the potential of their limits?
Man may exit the statistical realm of normalcy and find himself in a much more sparsely populated category, but this is only the beginning.
It is in this realm in which the limits of excellence are sharpened and compared, a higher realm in which the limits of mankind itself is defined.
In this there is a breaking free, a defying of category, when one transcends the mediocre and truly begins to compete.
Are you a product of statistics, or are you a product of will and drive? Are you a passive creature, or are you in control?
Maybe one day I'll find a girl and have a real relationship, but as the years go on it seems less and less likely. I'm 25 and never dated anyone or had sex. What kind of woman is going to want to deal with that? I feel like I've missed the window where I can reach these milestones, you're supposed to have this sorted out by 22 or so or the end of college. I've already graduated and now I'm working with little free time. It honestly feels like it'll be impossible, and even if I do meet a woman attracted to me due to the years of inexperience I will come off as inept, naive, immature, etc and drive her away
As someone who is in the process of getting out of the exact same situation (at 27) I can only tell you the obvious: the longer you wait, the harder it'll get.
And yes, you are right, you will come off as inexperienced and likely fail at first. But that's the only way you can learn how to do it properly, like with any other skill. I'm in the process of completely fricking up a relationship with a girl I actually had feelings for (who sadly turned out to be a c**t, but my lack of experience also played a big part). It sucks and it's really painful but at the same time it made me realize that, well, this is doable. Mistakes I made can be avoided in the future. I no longer feel like it's unreal for me to flirt with girls, to date, to have sex.
But I've also started from a point where I was a complete social outcast who basically didn't talk to people IRL. I was afraid of having phone calls. I felt out of place even while shopping like I was some kind of an alien. So looking back at that it's crazy to me how far I've come and I'm glad I didn't give up.
Not that anon, but what specifically helped you?
I've struggled holding onto a job so I should be focusing more on a career and money, but I honestly feel lost socially.
Socially? Really nothing specific besides just forcing myself to be social. Helped that I still had opportunities as I was in a sort of training period in my career with a bunch of my peers. I also did it step by step so starting with just having conversations, then getting involved in some activities, then initiating them too. That went pretty well. Then I got a crush on a girl there, not gonna go into specifics but I probably made every mistake you could make when trying to build a relationship, it also took me months to make any sort of move on her. It was miserable and humiliating at times but as I said before, there's no other way really. I made a choice at 24 that I would at least try to confront my irrational fears. It really doesn't feel that scary or impossible after you've tried it at least once.
not OP, but I agree with
, getting comfortable talking to people and getting comfortable with putting aspects of your real personality into conversations was the biggest step to me. It helps to notice that people generally don't give a shit if you're a somewhat moronic as long as you're not a total freak and generally nice to people. Everybody has their social hang ups and the majority of people aren't extroverts that have an easy time holding a conversation, and everybody is bored in one way or another. Once I started having the most moronic conversations possible with people I barely knew, my social skills improved tremendously, because they either got what I was saying and we got along or they didn't and talking to them didn't matter in the first place. This is how I made my closest friends, making jokes and talking stupid shit, you can't "be normal" your way into connecting with someone on a meaningful basis
>got led on and ghosted by coworker because I was plan B
>I keep my cool, distance myself but she acts kinda weird and avoids me at all costs
>There's a job opportunity in her department which would give me a raise of 5 dollars
Is it not worth the /drama that may come? I would not make any advances again
What drama? Just ignore the c**t
I will but maybe she's a shittier person than I imagine and she creates drama to get me out
Nta but what do you think is gonna happen
>anon asked me out, I said yes and didn't go cause I set up two dates at the same time cause I'm a prostitute
How does that make you look bad ?
I mean she can make up some shit saying I follow her around and keep staring at her or some shit making her uncomfortable at work
this why you dont date women at work
>Co-workers
>Neighbors
There was a 3rd thing that I've forgotten but yeah those are basically no-nos
Family members?
just fake coming out as gay
finally hooked up with this hot e-girl type that has been my friend for 10+ years. She's also in a relationship. I kind of feel like a trash can but at the same time I feel worse because I don't feel that bad about it. Just kinda conflicted.
Ran 3x, played hockey 3x, and lifted 4x this week alone. Wife wanted to be nice so she booked me a massage, my very first one. Just came back from one hour of a very fat, very pierced, and very hideous woman giving me a 'deep tissue' massage. She basically used her fat hands to move my skin around. I told her several times where I have the most pain and would like the most attention, but she didn't really care. Her belly was constantly rubbing against my head and limbs, and she was just breathing hard over me. After every limb she'd run her fingers down it a few times. Sensual music and lightning. I sat up ten minutes early and said 'ok thanks that's enough now' and just got dressed in front of her. The woman at the front said 'sir you need to check out here!' as I just walked out to the parking lot. I feel really, really, REALLY gross. My pulse is heightened and won't come down. I'm also a little pissed at my wife because I've booked her about a dozen massages over the years, all at different places, and I always pick the most attractive dude based on their linkedin or instagram (if there isn't a headshot on the website), because if someone's gunna be touching you, they may as well be hot. She told me she just booked the first available. Her face is right on the website and fricking hell. idk maybe I'm just being selfish. Thanks for reading my blog post. I really wish I didn't feel this way rn.
why didnt your wife just give you a massage (even if she wouldn't be the best at it)
she spent your money to give you a bad experience instead of taking the opportunity to spoil you a little bit
definitely not something to be happy about
Because she broke her wrist a month ago. Otherwise yeah we massage each other once a week. I'll still book her someplace quality so she can get her hair done too, and have a real professional massage her. Also she makes more than me so it's not MY money she's spending
this thread is literally just betas that went to the gym and are now complaining about getting used by women while also realizing that's the only way they will get any
LOL
I'm 28 and coming to terms with the fact that I wasted my youth and ruined my life. I haven't had sex since 2015 and haven't had a girlfriend since 2010. I'm completely bald and have loose skin and stretchmarks from being a fatass. I'm going back to school because my previous career was going nowhere, and living with family to save money. I live across the country from all my friends and will get to see them every 1-2 years if I'm lucky. I have no idea how to make friends or interact with peers. If I'm not on some kind of positive trajectory by age 30 I will probably kill myself to spare my family the humiliation of watching me grow into an old pathetic lonely man.
On the upside lifting and school are going well. I started playing the drums again, though I'm having pathetic fantasies of playing in a band like I'm 16.
Go play in a band moron
Water for me.
>Be me
>Mega loser mega fastass shitty childhood autist
>Before turning 30 took the self improooooving pill
>Fast forward 5 years of self improooooving
> Doing well kinda Chad.
>Still khv because you can't outlift autism and a VERY shitty parenting.
What should I do anons? You aren't as horny at your 30 so my dick isn't pushing the need to bring a woman into my life. But on the other side it would probably be good for me.
Should i hire a hooker to kick start my need to get women? Should i self improve to the point that women become easy?
>Should i self improve to the point that women become easy?
if you've been lifting 3x a week for 5 years you should already be pretty near the natty limit tbqh
if it's been on and off I understand, but even 2 or 3 cumulative years of 2-4x a week lifting will give you over half the gains you could reasonably make in your lifetime
Yesterday I broke the punching bag. After 5 years of training I'm fricking strong.
But i was morbidly obese. In those 5 years i lost a lot of weight, but i am still overweight.
At a muscular 5'8, 30 pounds is the difference between ripped Chad and the shy chubby guy who tells jokes.
>5'8
women will never be easy
but it sounds like you just need to do a mega cut to max out your fitness score
>Women will never be easy
Wrong. Right now I'm a socially inept fatass and ugly girls simps hard.
But you are right on the lose the weight part.
>Wrong. Right now I'm a socially inept fatass and ugly girls simps hard.
I don't consider whales "women"
Me neither, that is why I didn't do any of them.
I don't know you but I could bet that I'm stronger and more successful than you, homosexual.
>I'm a literal 0/10 and women are just all over me
(You)
You need to change your mind like you changed your body. Start hobbies, get out of your comfort zone, interact with women.
This idea that you can self improve yourself to the point where your attractiveness negates your autism doesn't work, trust me. The problem is that you are essentially pushing their expectation of your game upwards as you push your attractiveness. The more you improve, the more they expect you to make moves, be receptive to their advances and the more they are intimidated by you. Essentially the bonus you get from being more attractive is canceled out by the increased difference in your social skills to your looks.
Despite what the lookism incels try to tell you, it doesn't matter how attractive you are, women will never present themselves to you without effort. At some point between a woman seeing you and you sticking your dick in her you will have to interact with her. And you acting like a shizoid will push them away even if you look like a chad. Keep in mind that your lack of social skills is an immediate red flag of low status and reduces your desirability.
Most people know this deep down. But it's much easier for most of us to just hit the gym religiously and shit like that, instead of going out and actually facing unknown social situations and try to meet some people
Checked and ty for the advice. I was invited to a party with the box club, and your comment push me enough to go.
Bunch of sweaty dudes with very few women on sight, but every small step counts, right?.
Yes. I made a rule for myself. Every time I'm invited somewhere or otherwise have the to opportunity to go to a social event and I have no legitimate reason not to expect "I don't feel like it" I just go. Of course I had a few boring or awkward incidents. But plenty of great experiences and the only real success I had with women in my life where when I went somewhere where I didn't know what to expect.
And yes every small step counts. Even if the qt you are looking for isn't at that party, you will still practice your social skills. And when you eventually meet someone all those hours of practice will pay off
Have my exams in 4 days, didn't bother to work despite having 2 weeks for this. I've been on a mindset of regrets about my life since middle school. Always the same cycle with exams, I don't know how I manage to make it every year. I'm never in control of my life, i don't know how I will make it if I don't fix this shit
know this feel. been told to solution is starting your own company. Easier said that done.
>upcoming corporate party with 1000 people from all over the country
which department do you think has the most prostitutes
Honestly this is the worst year of my fricking life dude.
> 26
> gf of four years left me
> lost a writing job
> step-grandmother potentially has liver cancer
> 25k in debt because lol college
> descending further into alcoholism and insanity
I need fricking help man.
Finally got my script for fin. I know it's now or never but I'm staring at the bottle too afraid to start because anons have me worried about sides even though the ~~*doctor*~~ said it was safe and effective. Take it or not, I may never have sex again.
I don't want to be a wagie anymore i want to quit i want to disappear far away i don't want to live like this i dont want to live like that i just want to drift in this world until i die i am alone no one cares at my only social circle (work) what is the point
I unironically wish a bunch of us could get together and live in a community in the woods like ripped, racist amish. The government would invade and kill us all in less than 3 years though.
We die as martyrs fren
>some men get rejected constantly, fail and try again and again and become stronger
>me, I just get weaker
I can't even fail correctly
What I feel is. I am a human, exacly like everyone around me. And as a human, I feel human emotitons, just like everybody else. But, through my life, whenever the rare occassions come when I become angry or disappointed. Then this becomes an issue for everyone around me. Co-workers, friends etc. Just because I dont have the energy to be the pillar which everyone leans on all the time. I got my own shit. You know, I am strong, I can carry people. But I also have my own problems. And If I have a bad week, then it is not fair for coworkers and shit to complain or make a deal of out if, if I am happy and lightgoing 95% of the day.
Because if I got my issues, rarely, then I dont have any obligation or energy to deal with other peoples reacation to me having a bad day. Because then I have 2 problems. Their feelings and my own. And this is not fair nor easy. If I have a bad day then just gtfo and I can be normal rest of the time. I cant be happy 24/7.
>friends invite me to their church dinner thing last night
>not religious, but go because I want to hang a bit with friends
>19yo ex was there too with her fiance
>still bubbly and friendly towards me
>I definitely mog her fiance
I'm 28 btw. It was a very mutual breakup that I initiated. We had a lot of physical chemistry, but boy did that age difference start to show. I guess I feel good about the whole situation.
the thought that I'm leaving the possibility of this situation happening and shes with someone that I WONT mog, gets my ass up when i cba
pretty sure this possibility became ridiculous a while ago since i was already pretty fit before the breakup but i still use it to get up if im feeling lazy
>took an iq test
>got in the 80's
Jesus christ lads I don't feel moronic
>starting to fall for my manager
>she's way out of my league
And it's eating me from the inside. I don't know what to do.
I am so lost in life
Cheapest vodka you have
Been seriously thinking these past months about leaving everything behind and becoming a mercenary, an idea that's been lingering in my mind since i was 18. Life's been shit for a while now, 22, khv, a family which i hate, 3 friends from middleschool with whom i barely talk, uni's monotone and endless (medicine), the days pass on without even realizing it. I have no dreams, no aspirations, no hope for my future. Only thing i have going for myself is good physical condition. The thing still holding me back from enrolling is my old grandpa (funny thing he was a colonel in the army way back). He's the only one in my family that i care about and respect. Once he's dead (which sadly won't be long now since his health is getting worse) i'll either go to fight in ukraine (for russia) or somehere in africa, depending on how fond i am of death.
Oh and no, i won't an hero myself, not because i fear death, just because it's pathetic. Dying "for something" seems more "noble" i guess
>inb4 "edgelord"
>have a beautiful gf who I want to marry and impregnate
>There's a girl at work 10 years older than me that I'm starting to develop feelings for
Get me off this ride please
HELP!
Ask her if she's an archaeologist
I seriously hope you go out with her.
Whatever makes me pass out the fastest.
Year has been dogshit. First love broke up with me, friendgroup broke down, grandpa bit the dust from alcoholism, I keep not meeting my goals in uni, anxiety and depression are just getting worse, and despite working out since last summer, I feel like I've barely made any gains.
In fact, I think at some point I actually lost some of the strength I've built. A few months ago my mental health was so fricked I barely ate anything at all, and couldn't get myself to lift. I remember one day all I ate was a single PB&J sandwich.
Feels like shit walking into a gym and being the smallest guy there, despite working out for a while.