How do I tell gf to lose weight without getting treated like shit and having sexual stuff withheld. Feel like I either accept her fat or step. Does anyone actually comment on their partner’s weight without creating a bunch of stressful drama? I just don’t understand why the women I’ve known pretty much claim their fat and bad diet as part of their identity. You know, if she was in a car accident and it fricked up her body I would cope with it. But this is just a lack of discipline from my perspective. Another issue is that the single women I’ve seen that are fit seem like they’re only that way because they were dumped by a guy that thought they weren’t fit enough or their parent has body dysmorphia or somethin. I know there are women that are fit because it’s their own choice, but they must be way out of league because I’ve never met any like that. I’d hate to think I’m a fricked up misogynist.. What’s true?
>Does anyone actually comment on their partner’s weight without creating a bunch of stressful drama
Well, my gf comments on my weight "o you really gained weight in the last months", but I am not allowed to say something to her about it.
Either say it, and see how she takes it, or directly break off.
I have before obviously, that’s how I know what the punishment will be. She’ll go on a rant about how her time is controlled by work and chores and she’s not spending her free time working out or whatever. And I say to stop eating sugary shit she’ll just mention how I ate a clif bar or somethin a few days ago. She sits at a desk all day, I have a very physically labor intensive job so I’m burning calories like crazy, and I work out and don’t eat junk food. She literally goes from sitting at a desk all day to the sofa. If she’s doing anything active it’s getting groceries or doing dishes which isn’t that strenuous.
Sounds like a lazy fat ass. Do you want that b***h raising your kids? Kick her out, or suffer the fate you've drawn up on yourself.
My friend. We do not live in a fair or equitable world. We live in a society where a wife can divorce her husband for becoming a paraplegic because "youre not the man I fell in love with" and her c**t friends will back her to the hilt, but if a man points out his girlfriend has literally tripled in weight and asks her nicely to work on dropping some of the weight because he'd like that, please, he gets crucified.
You either have to accept unhappiness, or be prepared to act in ways that run counter to mainstream, progressive, feminist dogma regarding a man's rights.
In short the only real way of tackling your problem is head-on. Be prepared to be met with confusion, hysteria, tantrums, rage, and tit-for-tat whataboutism, and be willing to not budge from your position.
>you mean to say you'd ACTUALLY end this relationship over something as trivial as my weight!?
Yes.
>seriously? This is the hill you're going to die on?!
Yes.
>well what about my conditions! My mental health! My stressful job! The patriarchy! The economy! My metabolic disprivilege!
I don't care.
>are you saying YOURE perfect!? You have some grey hair! You're only 5'11! You only drive a Toyota! You don't make as much money as my sisters brother! I don't think you're in any position to make demands, buster!
I don't care.
>I'll tell all my friends you have a tiny pecker!
I don't care.
And so on, you get the idea. Don't skirt around the issue, don't use vague metrics like "health" or "keeping active" as those give her opportunities to reframe the problem and solution as benefits her.
If push comes to shove, she may well leave you and make a noise on the way out, and you'll wonder if maybe you couldn't just have stayed quiet and lowered your standards for an easy life. But I'll leave you with this: resentment hurts more than regret.
Seems like guidance to become an incel. What’s the next step after leaving weight gaining gf? Find the perfect woman? That’s not gonna happen, right? I know I’m not perfect, but the things that make me imperfect are way more complicated than eating too many Oreos and not doing any physical activities. If there were only women in the world would they all be overweight? Cuz some of you make it seem like women are only in shape to manipulate men, not to be healthy.
>Cuz some of you make it seem like women are only in shape to manipulate men, not to be healthy.
That is exactly what we're saying. Look at 90% of women in long term relationships and you'll see the truth.
Ok. Well I’m going to conclude that a woman’s family is the most important factor in her not blinking out in a long term relationship. Higher education also a strong influence although I’m sure the two have a lot of overlap. If you are an average guy then it’s highly probable your partner will blimp if she doesn’t have a fit family or higher education.
Its hilarious that you equate having standards and boundaries, to being a bitter virgin misogynist who is holding out for the "perfect woman".
You're justifying your own unhappiness with the justification that, well, at least you're compromising like a decent human being would. While conveniently not acknowledging that you're letting your wife get off the hook and you're not requiring her to compromise at all.
Make your decision pal, but don't bullshit us or yourself
I pretty much have nothing to barter, get real. Maybe if she was depending on me financially I could be an butthole and give her a contingency, but that’s not the case. And even if it was she could go around making a case out of how big of an butthole I am. And I wouldn’t do that anyways because she would just turn into a soulless b***h. Idk why any woman would like a man so much that she genuinely would want to lookmax for him. Finding a woman that wants to look good her whole life is a slippery slope because you don’t know what her true agenda is. If you’re looking for a partner based on looks that could be fricked too. How hard is it to not eat fricking cake and Oreos and work out a little bit?! Jesus Christ frick. Why are women so fricking goofy
realest post itt
This is how you should deal with everyone btw
Keep it honest and direct without being unnecessarily offensive
Just break up dude this isn't worth your time and it will not get better
honestly that sucks. it's really difficult because her values don't align with yours.
you wouldn't be having this issue if you were going out with someone that goes to the gym regularly.
Yeah, there’s a lot worse things she could be doing besides gaining weight though. She doesn’t do drugs or even drink. She’s not loose at all and is somewhat low drama and low maintenance. Stays employed and is tidy around the house. I just wish she’d lose some weight, but mentioning it is a huge trigger for some reason. I get that it’s just another routine that takes up her time that she doesn’t want to do, but really she could just not eat frickin Oreos and shit and slowly lose the weight. She must lie to me or eat more when I’m not home because I don’t see her eat shitty good enough to really gain weight. I have been gone a trip for the past 5 days and it was noticeable that she had gained weight when I got back. She doesn’t weigh herself and doesn’t tell me what she weighs so I can’t exactly keep track.
yeah of course, but it's two things for me: it's a big clash of values and self-respect, and it's also about being physically attracted to your partner.
you can avoid it or walk on eggshells, but stuff like that grows over time into resentment.
it's hard to approach because you still care about her and don't want to upset her, but it's doing yourself a diservice.
>She doesn’t do drugs or even drink. She’s not loose at all and is somewhat low drama and low maintenance. Stays employed and is tidy around the house.
Bare fricking minimum. Unless you are some kind of incel-faced guy, there is no need to have such low standards.
Bare minimum is a pussy and a pulse. Don’t like you have your pick of women that have their shit together.
I'm going to assume you're at least in your early twenties because otherwise there's not much chance of dodging the drama, teenagers be teenaging.
When I had to talk to my girlfriend about her weight I brought it up casually but also stated honestly from the start of the conversation that it wasn't anything major for me but I told her how it made me feel similar to what you're talking about. At the end of it she's gonna react however she's gonna react but you can't let her slide into becoming large Marge and getting a pissy attitude to match, it's only gonna create resentment and worse arguments.
Good luck brother
Yah I would assume I’m in my twenties too but I’m in my thirties. Now I feel pathetic. That advice wouldn’t work btw. Been there done that. I know guys older than me that have fat wives and they’re pretty fit and decent looking. Always wondered how it happened and now I’m starting to figure it out. If a woman wants to get fat, she’s gonna get fat. Intervening is not a possibility unless you’re willing to ruin your life for it.
>Intervening is not a possibility unless you’re willing to ruin your life for it.
This is what I did. I got tired of it and went nuclear, had many fights about it, stopped fricking her, and overall made it clear if she wants a life with me then no getting fat. Now she has a female nutritionist/trainer and is down 30 lbs or so. She says she "already feels so much better" and will "meet my goal it's the last thing I never do."
Just takes balls I assume?
Interesting. Can you elaborate more on what going nuclear means and the living situation? I live with my gf and we own a house together. I feel like having a huge fight would be way more taxing on me than her. Her whole family lives near us and mine live like 12 hours away. Also people usually side with the women on arguments like this. Feel like she would start telling people how I’m a huge butthole and try to kick me out of our home.
I live with mine as well. Going nuclear means just what I said, without saying it directly, I made it very clear to her that there is no future with me if she stays fat. However, my girl was always interested in weight loss and keeping herself skinny, she just dropped the ball for a few years and got fat and hated herself. My intervention was the kick in the ass she needed to get in gear. If your girlfriend doesn't give a shit about how fat she is my strategy won't work. Everyone's situation is different.
Yah I don’t think my gf think she’s fat or she’s in extreme denial. She won’t even step on our scale and has never mentioned losing weight ever. She’s worked out a couple times to YouTube yoga videos and it was a joke. I got her to squat and bench press once and she was over it after being sore the next morning. Idk, it’s a game of chess and I lost. Maybe I’ll hit the lottery and she’ll decide to lose weight on her own, but I doubt it. Been hoping she’d get fit for a long time now. The only way I could make it happen is if I got rich and told her she didn’t need to hold a job anymore. Almost every couple I know that both partners work, the woman gets fat. I work for couples where the man works and woman stays home and most of the women in those situations are decently fit. I do know some outliers, but I can tell the woman probably has fit parents. If the woman has parents that are slobs it seems improbable that she’s gonna be fit. Although my gf has alcoholic parents and she doesn’t drink. Idk man, shit is complicated. I also have noticed that women that have more education tend to be more fit. I’ve worked for a few female doctors and they were all fit af.
Why do you own a house with a woman you've been with for 12 years but aren't married to?
And she can't much you out of a house that both of your names are on just fyi, but you've put yourself in a real bind don't that without being married.
Have you talked marriage/kids? You could use that "what do you want to look like going down the aisle".
Yeah I know she can’t. But I live in state where I’m sure I’d get fricked if came to any legal action. Not married because neither of us really care about getting married. Neither of us want a wedding, we don’t see our families all gathered together because both of our families are kinda shitshows. Only would get married for insurance, but I hate doctors so I try to stay as healthy as possible. Neither of us wanted kids either. I actually more on the fence about kids than I used to be but society is pretty fricked and like I said our families are shitshow so I can’t really form any kinda protective bubble for a child.
Do you ever get the feeling when writing this, that your reasoning seems watery and messy?
You don’t need a celebration to be married, you can just go to an office and sign a document. You don’t have to buy a $15k ring, silver bands with no stone is fine, or if too “uncomfy” order some silicone ones off the internet. Ritual and symbolism is more powerful than you think.
If she’s a woman who thinks she “doesn’t care” to be ritually bonded to someone, she probably doesn’t respect you as much as you think. Probably because of your watery reasoning, it makes you appear weaker.
Wanting to not have kids because of the climate or “muh comfy spending lifestyle!” is part of the psychological manipulation of western society to make you feel guilty and spend more on stupid shit. Business earns more money from singles than married couples. They want everyone to be “independent” for a reason. You both have been manipulated.
You doubt yourself in creating a safe bubble for your children. Please consider learning to get more confidence in yourself. You can be a good father just like the thousands of fathers before you. Don’t let a feminist LGBTQ flag flying mega corp convince you otherwise.
Nah man, I am definitely saving a ton of money not having kids. I have lots of friends with young children and they spend a small fortune on child care. We’re both pretty frugal so we don’t spend money on bullshit. I’m so frugal that I could live off the the money I make in my high yield savings account. And as for all the fathers from previous generations doing their part and manning up, well they’re the ones that got us to this fricked up point in society. My frickin boomer parents had way easier than I have. And now they’re divorced. So your argument is bullshit dude. I have no bloodline to honor. I’m a mutt and I’m not so arragant and proud that I’m gonna make a child just because “MuH blood, MuH father” shit. I fricking lgbt left wing shit too, so don’t lump me in with those baby killer homosexuals.
It’s sounds like you are financially secure, but you feel you cannot also support your wife to raise the kids until they’re toward the end of elementary school years. Is your gf also frugal?
Regardless, it’s not impossible, you just have to accept that you two can’t buy yourself a new cellphone every 2 yrs, reduce your entertainment subscriptions, have cheaper hobbies or ones that provides direct benefit to your family, drive a 2nd hand car etc. if you were raised in low or low-mid class life you probably feel your kids deserve better than you, to have Nintendo and guitar lessons and never have to worry about money. But survival has always been a thing in families. Pre 1940s, before mass psychological warfare tactics were made, every commoner had to make sacrifices and live less comfortably than we see the families on Instagram live.
I think you may be projecting your experience with your own father onto the men before him. He too, lived in the society that’s been under unopposed psychological warfare to disrupt the family unit and gain more profit. Boomers learned to be greedy and selfish, and why they kick their kids out at 18 and tell them to go buy their own 1.2 million family home on $70k a year.
It’s not about securing your bloodline, but to give you more purpose in life besides working and entertaining yourself with the money you made. Suggesting you are derogatory things like a mutt, it sounds like you have been beaten down successfully by mass psychological tactics to produce millennials and zoomers in state of helplessness. I believe you can reclaim yourself, and rise above it. It may even really motivate your partner to see that life back in you. As right now you seem weary and exhausted by the situation you’re in. And feel the victim in everything - from your interactions with women, to your freedom to give yourself some purpose.
Dude, first of all you have have an idea of that way off. I said we’re frugal. We have old ass cell phones. Only update when they break. No subscriptions. Everything is paid off.
Having a child to give myself purpose is exactly what my boomer parents did. It’s fricked up and selfish. Making a human when you really just need a fricking dog or cat.
I can tell you’ve given people this bullshit motivational bit before. You sound like a moronic wannabe cult leader.
I am a “mutt”. Had a prostitute grandmother and my mother is pretty much a prostitute too. I’m physically racially white but I have no heritage. Strong families run the world. I do not have a strong family. You think you’re way smarter than you are.
And earlier you said you have good earnings now? I think you can have a child then.
I think your parents were well intentioned, until they turned on the TV and spent an inordinate amount of time with it after working for 8hrs and desiring the lifestyles of what they saw on the shows and TV ads. Remember how ads always make you feel like you’re missing something? They weren’t psychologically prepared for that. And you had internet and noticed the problem with the media as a teen, and saw through the veil. But still blame yourself and identify as worthless and greedy just like them. You don’t have to be, and it sounds like you actually aren’t.
You don’t need to replicate what happened in your recent bloodline. Also, any dna test a person takes is gonna make you a mix of different cultures, nobody is 100% pure.
“Not 100% pure” , no shit. I’m saying that people in family had children because of lust/alcohol/drugs and insecurities. Not because they consciously selected good partners. Having a child is absolutely pointless for me. If I had generations of family I respected I would definitely have a child and be proud. Smart enough to not be poor and addicted to drugs, fricked up enough to never have a great life. It’s just how it is. And please don’t reply with more antisemitic antimedia brainwash shit, I’m well aware
Did you get the feelin that you’re a dumbass for suggesting that I should get married so that my gf will lose weight? If we got married literally nothing would change. I would get better health insurance, that’s it.
I’m not for modern day marriage, I believe in symbolism and ritual that leads to respect of a union.
Previously you didn’t need to have a marriage registered, you just agreed and had a little ceremony. Ceremony is part of ritual.
Regardless, I pointed out “we both agree to not wanting to be married” because it aligns with a complex typically observed where two people don’t respect the relationship they embarked upon, leading to situations like op where a woman doesn’t understand her place in a union.
To disrupt family units, your goal is to have men and women lose identity of their role in a union. This is by making women value less her role in the relationship, and men to not believe in a union all together.
Also to clarify - I wanted to draw out why he didn’t want a marriage, by first weeding out reasons he raised such as the cost, and that he doesn’t want their families to come. A ceremony can just be boiled down to signing a document if he so chooses, and skip the symbolic reminder. However I think wearing a symbol is important, just like how it’s important you wore the clothes you wear and not a clown costume. Because you identify with the clothes you wear, and not that you are a clown. By both wearing rings, a dot on your forehead or a headpiece, you now say to yourself you adopted the new aspect in your identity. A gf & bf are just two single people who aren’t confident in binding with each other.
Modern marriage is a mess because of the divorce system. Otherwise, you’re just a couple of people going nowhere in life except to pleasure yourselves for decades. This shit gets old. That’s what children are for. It reignites you, provided you don’t get side tracked by junk and wealth you “don’t have” like boomers did.
You’re just a romantic and probably a control freak. Not everyone is into that shit. Marriage is meaningless. It’s more about creating social restraints than anything. It’s the pinnacle of pda. Boomer shit.
I am not here to attract everybody, I found who I was looking for. There’s no need to scatter gun and hope for any woman who is ok to be your GF. Hold your standards, and you’ll attract alike. Like attracts like, and all that.
Marriage doesn’t make a woman conform automatically to a role you fricking moron. Maybe if your parents, your friends, your family, her family, all apply social pressure on her to behave a certain way then she will try to fulfill the role but it’s really just a fricking psyop on the woman if that’s what’s going on. This scenario has been played out a million times. This is why women divorce men. Women that can’t escape do crazy shit.
>don’t want to get married
>didn’t want kids
>signed a house with a woman he’s not married to
>dated her for 12 years
You’re wasting her time and her getting fat is what you deserve for wasting a, presumably, good woman’s best years
You’re a dipshit. As if you know what woulda happened if I was t in her life. What a piece of shit. Frick you. Who the frick do you think you are? What a fricking joke
Why is it a bind to share a home with someone you’re not married to? I thought the whole point behind marriage being dangerous is that women can take your shit. How is being married supposed to save him from crippling divorce settlements now?
I may be wrong but I don't think you can force the sale of a home to collect your equity without divorce proceedings. At the very least it would be more difficult.
It's also tricky if one of the partners were to die without a will in place, as technically the parents would be considered next of kin and would own half the house.
Honestly given what OPs said about their families they should both at the very least get wills to protect each other from their families.
stop doing as much sexual stuff with her, but don't say anything about it
let her catch you whacking off to a photo of her at her skinniest
Lol I’m not gonna play a stupid game like that. I don’t even want her to be skinny for sexual gratification, she could gain 100 pounds I’d probably still frick her, although I’d have way more pride in fricking her if she lost weight. She’d look way better in social situations and I know she’d feel better if she lost weight. She’s always been a little chubby but was more active and it didn’t bother me too much. She’s developing a subtle fupa now though and that’s where I draw the line I guess. When we hike she sweats really bad and gets crabby because she’s out of shape. Idk it’s sucks. She’s never had kids either.
>tee hee, my PERVERTED boyfriend stopped CONSTABTLY pestering me for sex - and he supports me getting fat!
>this totally rocks, I wonder what else I can get now he knows who's in charge
Yah my gf isn’t a sex fiend. I’m always the one that instigates sexual shit so if I stopped pestering her for sex she wouldn’t be bothered by it for a long time. I on the other hand would be bent out of shape in a few days. It’s terrible advice to withhold sex. Maybe it’s me, maybe she doesn’t value having sex with me enough so I have no bargaining chips. That’s definitely possible.
Well yeah, almost every relationship will have a libido mismatch, and that takes dialogue and compromise. Like many things in a relationship, if one person is always bending over backwards, or always steamrolling their partners wishes, that's an unequal partnership.
The fact that it's ALWAYS you initiating sex is a bad sign in itself. Would she be happy never having sex; is she functionally asexual? That would mean she's having sex under duress each and every time. Have you never communicated how important sex is to you? Does she not care about your needs?
Put the shoe on the other foot. Is there any need she has, that you would feel comfortable repeatedly neglecting?
Nah she wouldn’t be happy never having sex. She knows how important sex is to me, we’ve been together for like 12 years. She doesn’t communicate about sex at all. She just won’t.
If I was in a relationship with a chick that wanted to frick more than me (only possible if I’m not attracted to her) and I didn’t like it I would just dump her. Or a chick that did some shit I didn’t like sexually, I would dump so fast. So the fact that she puts up with me having a higher libido seems to me to mean she’s ok with it. If she’s not ok with it, she may be moronic or something, idk, or just considers it being somewhat of a chore. Maybe she’s gay and our relationship is a big coverup and she justifies it as the price she has to pay. lol idk dude. Gf’s I’ve had before all seemed pretty similar. Aside from very special occasions, their arousal seemed completely random. The special occasions are usually situations where sex is expected like prom or some shit. Those are the limited times I can predict sex in the future and it happens. I’ve also noticed hornier women make terrible decisions and I try to avoid shitshows.
>I know there are women that are fit because it’s their own choice
They're just trying to lock down a man with money. Don't worry they'll get fat as soon as they can. Never underestimate the laziness and self destructiveness of a female.
If commenting on your gfs weight creates drama then she's not your gf. You're just a temporary partner until she finds someone else.
Idk we’ve been together for like 12 years and she didn’t have a bf before. I’m not naive enough to believe that’s not a possibility though. I was hoping to get responses about how anons got their partners to lose weight. I was being optimistic I guess.
Been together 12 yrs and haven’t settled down? It’s certain once she begins to have kids, she will feel more dependent on you. At this stage it’s impossible to tell her to lose weight coz she can just leave you, she is not dependent on you. Once she is, like she’s been out of work for 3 - 4 yrs, she’ll have to do what her “boss” says to keep getting “paid” to be a mother.
Employment for women is just a surrogate for a man to financially support her. Same “hard work” just different pay, and her boss doesn’t always get the opportunity to be sucked off by his staff.
Man up and either get her to lose the weight or kick her ass to the curb.
Also OP jannies are going to trash this and send you to /adv/ where you will get no helpful advice. Getting your girlfriend to lose weight is *technically* relationship advice but it's absolutely on topic for IST. STOP TRASHING THESE THREADS JANNIES
>send you to /adv/ where you will get no helpful advice
/adv/ is ironically the worst fricking board for advice on this site and I have no idea why. Also, everyone there is a teenager. At least that's how it was when I went there several years ago.
the answers to these threads is always dump her.
why bother making them anymore.
That’d be good advice for a younger guy that’s in a newer relationship. That’s not me though. In 30s, long relationship, own home together. Searching for better advice. You’d think someone is able to reason with their partner about their weight but those people must not use IST, which makes sense, ha.
then if you genuinely care about her you can tell her you want to start eating more healthily together and start working out more as a couple, shell get the hint without you destroying her self esteem by saying she's not hot enough for you to frick anymore. its nice to tackle issues together anyway. reassure her that you care about her health and love her. Don't make it about yourself unless you want it to go really badly for you and her.
otherwise if her being hot is just your main concern then the advice remains the same; dump her and find a new woman.
Ask around and I think youll find this is a universal problem. There are no magic words to charm a contented, lazy, entitled wife into doing something if she knows she can decline with no negative consequences.
sunk cost
give her an ultimatum and if she has any respect for you she will honor it, if not then end things. If it isnt good now it wont be better later, no matter how long you guys have been together
You wont change her, why even try. Just accept it and either enjoy fat pussy or move on man. It is what it is. If she cant find intrinsic motivation to lose weight, you wont be able to motivate her to. Maybe you leaving is the catalyst she needs to turn her life around.
Let her catch you jerking off to Eugenia Cooney, then let her female mind do the rest!
Of course this might backfire and before you know it you're back here asking for a polite way to get her to go to rehab for her eating dissorder.
I've been there and the best thing you can tell her is she's getting fat. Straight up tell her. The shock alone will curb her appetite for the next few days.
Tried and true method: next time you're doing the sexy time, roll her over, shout "Piggies get it in the ass!" and then jam your dick right up in there, and then snort and oink the whole way through. When she asks wtf after, you just say, "Oh, you know, you've gained a little weight recently, so I just kind of figured it was time for hog-fricking."
Yeah, it's over bro. This is a tale as old as time.
She will
1. lose the weight and then leave you, or
2. not lose the weight
Either way the resentment will stay simmering forever. No way to handle this. Leave her or don't
I told my current gf 3 months into our dating that I will never accept her getting fat and same goes for myself. If she's about to get fat I will let her know and help her. If she b***hes and moans I am going to leave her fat ass with zero hesitation.
No dispute. She knew I meant what I said and acknowledged it.
Some shit has to be established asap when entering a relationship. No discussing it later.
"Hey pretty lady, I love you and think you're beautiful but you're starting to get a little chubby. Wanna start going back to the gym with me?"
Boom. Did that and now we go 2/3x a week together, only down side is I have to spot her and it takes a little longer to get my sets in.
It’s hard to believe she doesn’t hide resentment towards you for calling her chubby. She must respect you quite a bit to not retaliate or she’s dependent on you for a lot of stuff. Or she just has not retaliated yet or you’re unaware that she has retaliated lol. Idk, that wouldn’t work for me. I don’t tell anyone I love them either or say hallmark card type shit, especially before criticizing someone. It like you’re disappointment is strongly implied and she understands that you have expectations that’s she’s failing to meet. What’s the X factor that makes her want to appease your vanity?
>It’s hard to believe she doesn’t hide resentment towards you for calling her chubby.
She got a little butthurt but she knows she's a little soft around the edges, she also knows I'm saying it from a place of love and am also working to not be soft around the edges myself.
>She must respect you quite a bit to not retaliate or she’s dependent on you for a lot of stuff. Or she just has not retaliated yet or you’re unaware that she has retaliated lol.
We've been together a while, she knows who I am and how I am and still sticks around, comes to me for advice and picks me up when I'm down. We don't retaliate, we accept criticism from one another and then act on it. It's a partnership, we choose to be together knowing full well what we're both like and love one another flaws and all. Mutual respect is key in love.
>Idk, that wouldn’t work for me. I don’t tell anyone I love them either or say hallmark card type shit, especially before criticizing someone.
We do a lot of nicknames and cutesy shit, it makes her happy and that makes it worth it for me.
>It like you’re disappointment is strongly implied and she understands that you have expectations that’s she’s failing to meet.
She hasn't dissapointed me, we got fat and happy together and we'll get fit and happier together. If she decided to gain 50lbs out of spite I'd get dissatisfied and likely leave because I expect my partner to value my opinion, I'd expect her to do the same thing.
>What’s the X factor that makes her want to appease your vanity
Could be that I'm funny, could be that my dick game has her clutching at the bedsheets, but I'm almost certain it's that same mutual respect I was talking about earlier. She knows I've gone through hell to make things happen for her, and she's gone through hell to make things happen for me. We're devoted to one anothers happiness and find our relationship greatly fulfilling, as a result a simple request like getting in shape together isn't a big deal.
Who cares what she thinks. If you dont like her being fat you really want to be diplomatic just mention that you chat to all the regulars at the gym. If you work out a lot and are jacked she will know what that means. Source: currently hooking up with slightly chubby submissive girl who doesn’t like to exercise. But it doesn’t bother me because I enjoy handcuffing her and making her wear a collar while she fulfills my sexual needs. Truth is that she enjoys the sex and probably knows that she needs to up her game if she wants to be eligible for the gf title.
Nah she probably has a better plan to trap your ass. You underestimate women my friend.
Submissive as you like, she forfeited to you while not being guaranteed any exclusivity which suggests she’d do the same for any other man. There’s more foul to this situation than just her weight. I’d leave this be and find a woman with more self respect.
There’s a seed of truth in that women primarily don’t enjoy sex for the physical, but the psychological- that she is desired.
If you stop showing signs of desire, that’s typically when they panic (is the honeymoon phase over with him???) or lose interest in him and get ideas once a man flirts with her at the grocery store.
It’s dangerous to play this card.
Exactly. She comes to you to comfort/validate her feelings on things. She knows she’s fat, and if you immediately invalidate her and she’s unaware of biases in her own mind without priming her with some wisdom on when and when it’s not appropriate to be emotionally validated, she’ll just double down and put you as a perpetrator.
Ahead of making your claim, you need to encourage her to learn about how she can learn to psychologically prepare for critique, and give her an end goal that’s foreseeable.
For example, if you tell her you need her to do exercise 3x a week, in 1 yr she will be the size you prefer. Also remind her of her progress, because she’s thinking about the size she’s currently not, and not that she’s getting closer to it.
honestly, judging by this thread, you deserve a fat disgusting wife because you're a pathetic worthless man
What do you deserve? A prostitute with aids?
fix yourself you pathetic excuse of a man
Ok. Keep fricking roasties from the gym to boost you’re moronic ego
reread all your posts in this thread. is this the man you want to be? fix yourself, turn yourself into a man of action worthy of respect and maybe your fat disgusting wife will want to please you.
or just stay a worthless miserable pathetic excuse of a man and stay unhappily sexlessly married to your fat whale of a wife who shows you the amount of respect you honestly deserve
Just cuz you can get away with raping your dumb prostitute wife doesn’t mean I’m not a man, brother. I bet you’re on steroids too.
where do your're are guy's find those gym roastie's?
Just stop fricking her until she figures it out.
I would say focus on the health aspect - how you want a healthy partner to spend a good life with, and not frame it as ‘weight loss’
I’ve never called a woman fat but I have calculated their BMI and the chart, not me, confirmed their overweight statuses
The number one thing you can do is have them acknowledge the weight on the scale and not just try to avoid reality, once they know the truth they can track an objective metric and work towards improvement in the way that they like most
Tl;Dr: You can’t force feelings or motivation
Bad advice
Not great advice but it can work depending on your relationship
Pretty good advice, HOWEVER this will discourage her from ever wanting to get pregnant
Yah I’ve done that. And will continue to do that. It’s the best advice by far. Gotta get her on a scale.
She knows she getting fat. Talking to her about it won't be some new revelation to her or insulting to her. She will feign outrage only to manipulate you into backing down from the confrontation. All you can do is tell her how this makes you feel. You don't enjoy fricking her anymore, you're concerned for her health, and she is embarrassing you when you're together in public. If she won't change after a conversation like that break up with her with extreme prejudice. She is testing your manhood seeing if she can make you eat shit.
Start cooking healthy foods for her. Have sex with her more often. It is hard to get women to work out, but you can trick them into it with stuff like going to conventions, zoos, and camping. Buy some adderall and start microdosing (also gets her addicted to being around you as that is the only times she will get her fix).
Tell her she's a disgusting pig and make oinking noises while holding your nose up like a pig nose. Then call her Miss Piggy or Piggy for short, especially in front of her friends / family or strangers in public.
My gf is thin and hot, but she started shit talking to me when we have an argument and she won’t shut the frick up. She will even make fun of me. She never cleans my home because she says it’s not her house despite her sleeping her 4-5 days a week and eating rice cakes on my bed and always leaving plates on the table after eating. Whenever I bring it up she told me that my house was a mess before she met me and that she helped me cleaned it twice(4 months ago was the last time) she told me that she has a house of her own to clean ( she lives with parents) and they even have a female cleaner from Phillipines or something.
We are getting married in August
Thanks sharing. Good luck god bless.
If her being lazy about cleaning a place that isn’t hers is your most serious complaint, your situation is not bad at all
If you’re serious about her, tell her that once you buy a house for her you’ll expect her to help keep it clean (she’ll still want to hire somebody else to do it though tbqh)
“It’s your house..” is a tactic to say, you does not feel responsible for a “boyfriend” and to hurry up and buy her a house to care about (secure her in marriage). Looks like it worked.
Does she have a job? Coz she’ll always have it over you to not clean the whole house, and that you do your share. If your house was already with dust bunnies and disorganised, she’ll mental gymnastics her way to saying her contribution of mess is like putting more mud on a muddy pig.
If you bought a house for you two and you stayed as bf gf, shed probably only clean “her space” until she can claim her half of the property, then maybe, she’ll feel some pride in being in “your space”.
I've found with women that typically anything you say will piss them off, and whenever a woman is in a mood there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, you just have to let them vent until they run out of steam.
Your comment about the cliff bar tells me she's dogshit at arguing and using reason and logic, so I wouldn't even engage.
"Hey, your unhealthy eating habits affect us both, your long term health is important to me, I want us to be healthy in our old age, we need to make changes"
If she loses her shit welp, there's nothing you can do about that, so just give her time and space to cool off.
Good advice thanks
I'm 27khv so take what I say with a grain of cum. I just have experience with being fat and losing weight. I know why I become fat and I understand how hard it feels at first. How insurmountable and meaningless the grind appeared to my comfortable immobile flesh.
I'd say it's a very intimate and personal change that you want from your woman, maybe a bit late but not impossible if she wants to please you. Sadly if she doesn't see the appeal, if she isn't really, truly, 100% motivated, she will never do it.
The risk of her losing fat to regain it a few years later is really high.
It will mean a complete change in her life and a lot of effort, encouragements and love from you.
In the end, she's doing it for her, with your love/hate as a catalyst.
I think the way to do it is with complete honesty and clarity. Don't use euphemisms and try to hide your dislike of her fat behind vague shit like health. She will want to know exactly what weight is acceptable and you should use old photos of her as examples if she were thinner in the past.
>why you don't like her body, how it makes you feel, why you considered leaving her, why you stay.
>precise weight goal
>Don't be afraid of hiring a coach, female if you're afraid of horns, but he/she will have to be in on why your couple is doing all that. It's not like you can just stop working.
She will never make it on her own, be sure of that.
You aren't a misogynist for having preferences. "All women are prostitutes/weak/bitchy" is misogynistic, "my peepee not big when I see fat" isn't.
I think we're all conditioned by our nature and environment, our mother, parents, the movies we watch, the friends we emulate, the infotainment, every single tiny thing is a reason for any other thing. There is enough reasons in you, for you to prefer thin rather than fat, and it might be impossible to explain it all and do a deep dive in your psyche, but I think your wife deserve to know a few of them.
Agree. Good advice.
> I’d hate to think I’m a fricked up misogynist
Pussy. You’ll never make it.
I do sympathize because I’m in the same boat with a gf getting fat. I haven’t confronted it yet because I’m being a b***h. I know I’ll end in a breakup and I’m ok with that because I respect myself enough to not date a fattie.