>go to gym just now. >christmas eve. >it's packed. >boomers, zoomers, brocolli haircuts

>go to gym just now
>christmas eve
>it's packed
>boomers, zoomers, brocolli haircuts
>turn 360 and walk away

Ape Out, Gorilla Mindset Shirt $21.68

Rise, Grind, Banana Find Shirt $21.68

Ape Out, Gorilla Mindset Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is the weirdest b8 thread I've seen for a bit

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    12/23/23
    am I schizo or are you moronic Christmas Eve is 24th

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >what are timezones

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Australia gets Christmas early

        I dont' think about yuropoors and those nobodys at all anon

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Australia gets Christmas early

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        wtf not fair

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He's right, but it is now Christmas eve. Happy holidays bros.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      I dont' think about yuropoors and those nobodys at all anon

      The most American moment.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Funny thing is, I would eat that whole stinky log like a bratwurst

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Your right that is pretty funny because I’m imagining you pulling a bun out of your pocket and gently cradling the log before lovingly placing it in your pocket warmed bun and taking fastidious neat little bites while patting your lips with a handkerchief and making soft “mmmm” groans of pleasure.

      Me? I’d eat it like a cob of corn and enjoy making a mess all over my face and clothes. Or I’d quickly snake out my hand and grab the log and wrap it in a napkin and have it stashed away in my pocket before anyone knew what happened. I’d immediately say I have to go the the bathroom and sneak home. I’d put the log on some parchment paper and freeze it for a few hours. Then I would lick and suck it like a popsicle and if I’m being completely honest id probably try deepthroating it before realizing how ridiculous I must look. I would make it last and enjoy it over several weeks, returning it to the freezer after each tasting.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I would fight every man in that club in order to take tasty turd home and season it with my saliva.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          That’s why I’d be quick and snatch the turd the moment it hits the ground. I’d know most men would be horrified at the fecal mishap and others would be drunk and laughing. So I’d act fast knowing there was a good probability that at least two stool savants would be in the room. I would have to grab it and quickly but casually leave or else you and I and any other arse-fruit aficionados would have to battle it out to see who gets to leave with the turd trophy. If there was a clear winner in the lot I’d be willing to share half of it with you if we can work together to kick his ass. What do you say, can we have a truce in this hypothetical scenario? Half a log in hand is better than none.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Sharing that 9' dookie delight? It's too good to pass up, but don't be surprised if I betray you to claim that poopy prize for myself.

            In any case, I could tell the moment I sat in my sticky seat that this spinster had the mother of all shits in her. The crazed caca smell indicating a turd poking out like a baby bird breaking from its shell.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              It’s a betrayal that would infuriate me but after I cooled down I’d smile to myself and nod “that sonofabitch, wish I thought about a shit heist myself”.

              Imagine seeing her stripping and before she takes her panties off you can see the faintest bulge in the silk gossamer. Your eyes lock in and analyze the topography, you open your nose to help waft any would-be excrement odours into your olfactory senses and your mind filters out all the ambient noise so that your heightened sense of hearing may detect any gastrointestinal murmurs. Yes, she’s turtle heading and it looks like it’s a beautiful big baby brown. She must be diabetes at least an inch and the look of discomfort and growing awareness on her face is enough to compel you to check your inside pocket for your stash of large freezer Ziplock bags. You’re poised and ready.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                *diabetes = dilating

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I can imagine a most monstrous pain on her visage. But to see that brown bouncing baby glimmer into my (our) hands is a gift from God himself. Knowing what was once Chipotle, monster energy, dorritos, and a heavy whiff of cigarettes, has now become something greater than they could ever have been alone.

                God works in mysterious ways, but creation is his most precious one.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I have to (try to) go to sleep but this discourse will surely keep me awake staring at the ceiling with my brain alight with fecal fantasies, which I hope end up being dookie dreams.

                Good night friend and if we find ourself at the club and lock eyes right before sliding forward with outstretch hands, I can’t promise I won’t fight for the log but if I am the victor I’ll let you at least sniff the baggie and maybe take a small keepsake with my cigar cutter.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Goodnight fren. May the best dookie dude win.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Your right that is pretty funny because I’m imagining you pulling a bun out of your pocket and gently cradling the log before lovingly placing it in your pocket warmed bun and taking fastidious neat little bites while patting your lips with a handkerchief and making soft “mmmm” groans of pleasure.

      Me? I’d eat it like a cob of corn and enjoy making a mess all over my face and clothes. Or I’d quickly snake out my hand and grab the log and wrap it in a napkin and have it stashed away in my pocket before anyone knew what happened. I’d immediately say I have to go the the bathroom and sneak home. I’d put the log on some parchment paper and freeze it for a few hours. Then I would lick and suck it like a popsicle and if I’m being completely honest id probably try deepthroating it before realizing how ridiculous I must look. I would make it last and enjoy it over several weeks, returning it to the freezer after each tasting.

      how do the logistics of her dropping it mid-dance by accident actually work? A shart I can imagine, but a full-size solid chunk? Moreso, who had to clean it up?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Moreso, who had to clean it up?
        My friend you do not understand!

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You took ironic shitposting way too fricking far

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You don't get it

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah ironic heh it’s just a joke

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      and too literally

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you want them gone, you need to go in and brutally mog them all, they wont come back.

    Most of them can't even Bench 1 plate

    So what you do is simple

    Take a barbell

    Drop it on the floor

    Put 1 plate on each side

    Pull it off the floor and clean it, then Overhead Press the weight for 10 reps, then calmly and quietly put the weight down and then open your phone and scroll IST

    This will have people realize how pathetic and weak they are, that you can bring a milestone of their goals off the floor onto your upper chest and then over your head for reps, like its nothing

    This will make them think "frick it lmao" and never go back

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks for saving this thread, Merry Christmas wise one

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Absolutely nothing can save this thread at this point

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I got mogged like this recently. Was doing squats with 0.75pl and some big guy came in, asked if he could work in, and just started doing overhead press with the barbell.
      Pretty impressive, motivated me more than anything

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Yer, no joke. I went thinking it would be quiet. Still got in a quality workout. Aint going to complain about Zoomettes working out in sports bras

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ill be hitting the gym in an hour. It will probably be empty as frick as i go to a commercial gym populated by 90% less than a month dyels and the gym is almost empty every monday because "le sleepy i hate mondays" and on days close to holiday days because "le quirky rest days life is to enjoy tehehe". But they will flood the gym on january and a month before summer for "le epic comeback". I hate normies so fricking much

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >gym is open 24 hours
    I'll be going tomorrow morning

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Consider yourself lucky. My gym opens in 39 hours

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >be me, hitting chest session
    >start at 1pl8, I always do that for a warmup
    >i usually keep adding weight in increments of 10kg, finishing at 2pl8. So I go 60, 70, 80, 90, 100 and that's it for bench
    >but I finish warmup, and all the baby plates are nowhere to be seen
    >I look around, and see that zoomers/brocolli heads have them all
    >on the next bench across, a group of 6 brocollis. 2 of the 5kg plates on each side of the bar, yet for that weight they've gotten chalk everywhere, using smelling salts. They think a 40kg bench pr is impressive enough to film
    >on other bench down from that, more zoomers. These ones have half the 2.5kg plates in the gym on the bar, and are doing sets of like 3 reps
    >same story with squat racks, all full of zoomers using all the light plates in the gym
    I found it interesting though actually, zoomers online always claim to be pushing massive numbers like 2.5pl8 on bench or 4pl8 squats, but I only ever actually see them using baby weight. Gym zoomers are big fat frauds lying about their lifts

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I found it interesting though actually, zoomers online always claim to be pushing massive numbers like 2.5pl8 on bench or 4pl8 squats, but I only ever actually see them using baby weight. Gym zoomers are big fat frauds lying about their lifts
      This so much, when I go on social media I constantly see zoomers and broccolis with impressive physiques claiming 100kg bench and 200kg diddies but for the life of me I've yet so see one in person.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    9 inches?

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    There were a ton of people at the gym today. There are a lot of college guys home from school

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >34 replies
    >no video
    it has to be out there

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >bullied by kids and the elderly
    you are weak, you must commit seppuku
    >captcha:W44KDR
    im cracked in tarkov

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *