>go to gym just now
>christmas eve
>it's packed
>boomers, zoomers, brocolli haircuts
>turn 360 and walk away
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 Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
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>go to gym just now. >christmas eve. >it's packed. >boomers, zoomers, brocolli haircuts
>go to gym just now
>christmas eve
>it's packed
>boomers, zoomers, brocolli haircuts
>turn 360 and walk away
|
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
|
This is the weirdest b8 thread I've seen for a bit
12/23/23
am I schizo or are you moronic Christmas Eve is 24th
>what are timezones
I dont' think about yuropoors and those nobodys at all anon
Australia gets Christmas early
wtf not fair
He's right, but it is now Christmas eve. Happy holidays bros.
The most American moment.
Funny thing is, I would eat that whole stinky log like a bratwurst
Your right that is pretty funny because I’m imagining you pulling a bun out of your pocket and gently cradling the log before lovingly placing it in your pocket warmed bun and taking fastidious neat little bites while patting your lips with a handkerchief and making soft “mmmm” groans of pleasure.
Me? I’d eat it like a cob of corn and enjoy making a mess all over my face and clothes. Or I’d quickly snake out my hand and grab the log and wrap it in a napkin and have it stashed away in my pocket before anyone knew what happened. I’d immediately say I have to go the the bathroom and sneak home. I’d put the log on some parchment paper and freeze it for a few hours. Then I would lick and suck it like a popsicle and if I’m being completely honest id probably try deepthroating it before realizing how ridiculous I must look. I would make it last and enjoy it over several weeks, returning it to the freezer after each tasting.
I would fight every man in that club in order to take tasty turd home and season it with my saliva.
That’s why I’d be quick and snatch the turd the moment it hits the ground. I’d know most men would be horrified at the fecal mishap and others would be drunk and laughing. So I’d act fast knowing there was a good probability that at least two stool savants would be in the room. I would have to grab it and quickly but casually leave or else you and I and any other arse-fruit aficionados would have to battle it out to see who gets to leave with the turd trophy. If there was a clear winner in the lot I’d be willing to share half of it with you if we can work together to kick his ass. What do you say, can we have a truce in this hypothetical scenario? Half a log in hand is better than none.
Sharing that 9' dookie delight? It's too good to pass up, but don't be surprised if I betray you to claim that poopy prize for myself.
In any case, I could tell the moment I sat in my sticky seat that this spinster had the mother of all shits in her. The crazed caca smell indicating a turd poking out like a baby bird breaking from its shell.
It’s a betrayal that would infuriate me but after I cooled down I’d smile to myself and nod “that sonofabitch, wish I thought about a shit heist myself”.
Imagine seeing her stripping and before she takes her panties off you can see the faintest bulge in the silk gossamer. Your eyes lock in and analyze the topography, you open your nose to help waft any would-be excrement odours into your olfactory senses and your mind filters out all the ambient noise so that your heightened sense of hearing may detect any gastrointestinal murmurs. Yes, she’s turtle heading and it looks like it’s a beautiful big baby brown. She must be diabetes at least an inch and the look of discomfort and growing awareness on her face is enough to compel you to check your inside pocket for your stash of large freezer Ziplock bags. You’re poised and ready.
*diabetes = dilating
I can imagine a most monstrous pain on her visage. But to see that brown bouncing baby glimmer into my (our) hands is a gift from God himself. Knowing what was once Chipotle, monster energy, dorritos, and a heavy whiff of cigarettes, has now become something greater than they could ever have been alone.
God works in mysterious ways, but creation is his most precious one.
I have to (try to) go to sleep but this discourse will surely keep me awake staring at the ceiling with my brain alight with fecal fantasies, which I hope end up being dookie dreams.
Good night friend and if we find ourself at the club and lock eyes right before sliding forward with outstretch hands, I can’t promise I won’t fight for the log but if I am the victor I’ll let you at least sniff the baggie and maybe take a small keepsake with my cigar cutter.
Goodnight fren. May the best dookie dude win.
how do the logistics of her dropping it mid-dance by accident actually work? A shart I can imagine, but a full-size solid chunk? Moreso, who had to clean it up?
>Moreso, who had to clean it up?
My friend you do not understand!
You took ironic shitposting way too fricking far
You don't get it
Yeah ironic heh it’s just a joke
and too literally
If you want them gone, you need to go in and brutally mog them all, they wont come back.
Most of them can't even Bench 1 plate
So what you do is simple
Take a barbell
Drop it on the floor
Put 1 plate on each side
Pull it off the floor and clean it, then Overhead Press the weight for 10 reps, then calmly and quietly put the weight down and then open your phone and scroll IST
This will have people realize how pathetic and weak they are, that you can bring a milestone of their goals off the floor onto your upper chest and then over your head for reps, like its nothing
This will make them think "frick it lmao" and never go back
Thanks for saving this thread, Merry Christmas wise one
Absolutely nothing can save this thread at this point
I got mogged like this recently. Was doing squats with 0.75pl and some big guy came in, asked if he could work in, and just started doing overhead press with the barbell.
Pretty impressive, motivated me more than anything
Yer, no joke. I went thinking it would be quiet. Still got in a quality workout. Aint going to complain about Zoomettes working out in sports bras
Ill be hitting the gym in an hour. It will probably be empty as frick as i go to a commercial gym populated by 90% less than a month dyels and the gym is almost empty every monday because "le sleepy i hate mondays" and on days close to holiday days because "le quirky rest days life is to enjoy tehehe". But they will flood the gym on january and a month before summer for "le epic comeback". I hate normies so fricking much
>gym is open 24 hours
I'll be going tomorrow morning
Consider yourself lucky. My gym opens in 39 hours
>be me, hitting chest session
>start at 1pl8, I always do that for a warmup
>i usually keep adding weight in increments of 10kg, finishing at 2pl8. So I go 60, 70, 80, 90, 100 and that's it for bench
>but I finish warmup, and all the baby plates are nowhere to be seen
>I look around, and see that zoomers/brocolli heads have them all
>on the next bench across, a group of 6 brocollis. 2 of the 5kg plates on each side of the bar, yet for that weight they've gotten chalk everywhere, using smelling salts. They think a 40kg bench pr is impressive enough to film
>on other bench down from that, more zoomers. These ones have half the 2.5kg plates in the gym on the bar, and are doing sets of like 3 reps
>same story with squat racks, all full of zoomers using all the light plates in the gym
I found it interesting though actually, zoomers online always claim to be pushing massive numbers like 2.5pl8 on bench or 4pl8 squats, but I only ever actually see them using baby weight. Gym zoomers are big fat frauds lying about their lifts
>I found it interesting though actually, zoomers online always claim to be pushing massive numbers like 2.5pl8 on bench or 4pl8 squats, but I only ever actually see them using baby weight. Gym zoomers are big fat frauds lying about their lifts
This so much, when I go on social media I constantly see zoomers and broccolis with impressive physiques claiming 100kg bench and 200kg diddies but for the life of me I've yet so see one in person.
9 inches?
There were a ton of people at the gym today. There are a lot of college guys home from school
>34 replies
>no video
it has to be out there
>bullied by kids and the elderly
you are weak, you must commit seppuku
>captcha:W44KDR
im cracked in tarkov