>gym chronomancer asks how many sets I have left
>"2 bro, won't take long"
>"yeah I bet it won't"
>he speeds up my reps and thus reduces time under tension
>make minimal gains and am obligated to leave the bench after 2 sets
Why are mages allowed to cast in the gym? It's not fucking fair.
>chromomancer slowed down 1rm attempt mid-lift again
FUCKING MAGES
I'll be utilizing the dark arts for manifesting unholy gains. Christcucks can't compete.
>necromancer brags about his 6pl8 deadlift
>he conjures spirits to help him lift
>point this out
>says it still counts because they are dead
What bullshit mental gymnastics. I fucking hate necrophiles.
take the gym barbarian pill
>lift heaviest you can
>growl blood for crom each rep
>skinny fag mage approaches you to cast a trick
>stare right into his eyes
>keep repping
>immune
>intimidate.exe
>mage flees
>win
>gym mage has been training low intensity high rep evocations
>he casts fireball on the ground below me so I can't ass-to-grass while squatting
fucking gains goblin
>Using huge diameter stone plates so your "deadlift" is actually an above the knee rack pull
Ego lifting barbarian cope
you better not let me or any of my fellow brethren of the silver barbell catch you doing that unholy shit, we WILL fuck you up
this is why you bros don't have sex
>gym succubus raped me in the bathroom again
Speak for yourself
>gym trickster replaces water tap with horse cum tap
Not again.....
free protein is free protein
>gym tulpamancer always has a spotter
It's not fair bros
>gym shaman enters bear mode again
>last time he broke into my car and ate all the prepped meals while I was bench pressing
The skellies are squatting with just the bar.
They don't even have muscles bros...
>gym druid trying to pitch his homebrew preworkout again
>comes in reeking of weed
>brings his eagle familiar although gym rules clearly say NO PETS
>this fucking bird blocks the squat rack HALF AN HOUR IN ADVANCE
>tried complaining to gym master, but it's some retarded service animal copout
I've just about had it with this hairy stoner
>Gym illusionist made me think I benched 4pl8
>I tried to show off for my gym bros and it backfired badly
Now I look like a fucking joke
you always looked like that though
>gym rogue pickpockets my shit every day
>about sick and tired of gym bard's Journey covers
>gym warlock has some weird grudge against me for no reason, casts curse of weakness on me, ruining my workout
>gym thot is squatting ass to grass in a thong
>she is trying to catch people staring
>cast farsight directly beneath her brap hole
>success
can't wait to level up so i can cast farsniff next
>gym hypnotist offered to help me break through a plateau
>it worked, felt like 10x pre workout
>fuck yeah 3 pl8
>actually manage it one handed
>whole gym laughing as I'm showing off
>asked the manager for the footage
>was only lifting the bar the whole time
I DON'T NEED POWERS TO PUT YOU TO SLEEP ZAMBINO
WATCH YOUR BACK
>gym jester put a whoopie cushion under me while I was squatting ass to grass again
Add some magical resistance training into your program.
>be zoomer mage
>reclass to barbarian and chug potions of monstrous strength like they're candy
>ignore all the warnings about fertility debuffs
>me and druidbro checking out girls at the gym
>bets me 100 coins that he can get one to fuck right after this workout
>fugg it why not
>transforms into a dog and just walks up to a white woman
>lose 100 coins
>go home
fuck you morons
The dyel was uninterested in testing his lifts against the leanpill spammer, no matter how much his fellow anons raised the stakes. Finally the leanpill offered the dyel substantial odds: "I will give you 50 dollars for every lift of yours I cannot outlift, if you will give me 5 dollars for every lift YOU cannot outlift."
At this, the dyel agreed.
"Very well!" exclaimed the leanpiller. He eagerly tried to think of a lift sufficient to challenge the dyel, but light enough to keep the game interesting. "1/2/3/4?" he asked, his eyes gleaming.
Without even bothering to think about it, the dyel handed the monk 5 dollars.
The leanpiller was disappointed, but prepared himself for the dyel's challenge.
For his turn, the dyel pinched his face deep in thought. Suddenly, he asked: "post body"
The leanpiller leapt to his feet and began pacing around the room. For six hours he was mercifully silent as he pondered the dyel's conundrum. Soon, he grew irritable. Eventually his face sunk with fury and disdain. "Alas, alas! I give up!" he cried, waving his arms. Reluctantly he withdrew a sack of coins and counted out fifty precious dollars for the dyel. The dyel happily accepted his winnings.
The leanpill spammer stared at him. "Well!" he said at last. "Post body"
Wordlessly, the dyel handed the leanpiller 5 dollars.
>whorelock starts stretching in the freeweights section
>has her imp simp on sentry
>imp starts screeching my truename every time I so much as look at the clock
Is there anywhere I can get a banish scroll without a prescription?
enchantless runt, consider throwing yourself down into the dark pit of manlets for if you cant even banish a imp or poke it with a demonbane blade then why even live?
Best thread on IST right now