>Me, 22 years old >Started lurking IST around February last year after a breakup with an off and on girl >Browsed casually and worked out >Get another girlfriend >"Hey anon, I want to see you in a swim suit" >Worked my ass off to lose fat >Post regularly and read threads here a lot more >Lost 30lbs in under 6 months >Girlfriend goes crazy and gets told her daddy issues is about how she needs some other gender identity by the university counselors >breakup >Met another girl who I ended up being friends with >Vibe really well with her mostly female group despite me being a massive weeb weirdo >Honestly, made me really good at talking with normal girls >Stopped going to IST after losing a lot of belly fat and being stronger than ever >FF to 2023, met one of the most unhinge, weeb, fujoshi girl >I love her and we're going strong to this day
I have no need for this place no more. Thank you IST for the one year I browsed and posted. I thank /fat/ in particular for being a source of motivation alongside /cbt/
Not him, but I'm Asian and my gf is white and skinny
I meet them at school clubs and classes + dating apps. I do find in person stuff way easier than dating apps, but my current relationship is from Hinge. Also, I seem attract a specific type of women which are those with yellow fever.
Gave up on that God homie, he never answered any of my prayers but when I gave up on his fake ass, life got better.
Remember anons, you can only rely on yourself as you are a man therefore you have the greatest might. No sky gayget is going to help you, answer your own prayers
Doing ok, had to take a brake cause I fell into some rapids and bruised the shit out of every joint in my body, but I should be back to the gym by next week.
I met a really cute 22yo (I'm 30) and we hooked up, she's great, but the age difference is starting to show, I think one of us will cut each other loose soon. Fairly sure I'm taking a break from women soon anyway, my 20s were filled with nothing but either long, loving, relationships that both ended in pain or random flings that numbed me to what actual love was. I need to try something different in this new decade of my life, and this new girl was hot enough that I'm content with her being the last for a while.
Job is good and still making me money, family ties are much stronger than they were 10 years ago. Lost a bunch of friends during my last major breakup, but I've made more fairly easily, still miss the good old days with some of my buds though, oh well
Lifts are fine and I'm content with how my body looks (finally). Still haven't gotten 2pl8 bench but I've come close, only thing from 1/2/3/4 I haven't gotten. I'd say that's decent for 2 years off and on of natty lifting.
How are you OP? Thanks for the excuse to blogpost before this thread gets nuked
>How are you OP?
i'm about to turn 30 too, bit of a mindfrick how quickly it creeps up on you. I've been with my GF for 5 years and her messages are gradually becoming blunter and less loving, I'm scared she's going to break up with me soon. Maybe I'm worrying too much and she's just going through a tough time
>Got injured on the job last week >Won't be returning for a few weeks >Won't be seeing that chick who actually likes me and me liking her >Gonna be isolated in my apartment 24/7
Finally got back into the mindset of self-improvement and hitting the gym. The first year and a half of fatherhood really fricks with your head, thankfully I got pretty fit while the wife was pregnant so lazy dadbod for me is just back to my old pre-kid fat self. Half this year I've been down with a fricked rotator cuff, which kind of killed motivation to do anything except recover.
Businesses I'm involved in seem to be going ok, I'm not making money yet, but the future is in sight.
I'm doing good. Just feeling kind of lazy as of late. Too much work and moving around for too long, exhaustion builds up. But I had somewhat figured july and august would be like that so I planned accordingly and it shouldn't get in the way of my fitness.
I got laid off 4-5 months ago and even though I got a CS degree, 2-3 years experience and have applied to over 1000 jobs I don't have a job yet, time is flying by, all days feels the same, I'm poor and living off my parents money which feels bad.
But at the end of the day I realized even if I did get a job it would still be the same meaningless life like this webm so that won't really fix the main problem. The void is here to stay I guess.
>But at the end of the day I realized even if I did get a job it would still be the same meaningless life like this webm so that won't really fix the main problem.
It's true >t.been 6 months without a job and just started another software job
Any IT related job is fricked ATM.
Here in Britain we have a massive deficit of IT workers in every sector, the government is constantly crying out for more university places, better courses, and more hiring, but employers just aren't hiring.
I've been rejected for the dumbest reasons >my degree is accredited by the British Computing Society but not the Institute of Engineering and Technology >I failed filtering within two minutes of applying >I'm too much of a maverick >I'm not enough of a maverick >I'm asking for too much money (asking for the salary stated on the listing) >the recruiter is concerned about my commute when I selected the "I'm willing to relocate" option (that one was really moronic the job was halfway across the country and the idiot thought I was going to drive it daily, "oh sorry anon but it's already been processed in our system please reapply")
I check companies LinkedIn before applying and if they're posting anything about DIE I skip them. NCSC (government cyber agency) is committed to half of new starters being gender, sexuality, and colour diverse: so they want every other employee to be gay transgender blacks with a strong IT degree and pass the security checks, just how many of those are there in Britain???
Kek then they say we need 600,000 immigrants every year because 'native Brits refuse to do the vacant jobs!'. It's all a disgusting guise to justify wage compression and shitter working conditions.
Anon, those companies are not actually hiring, at all. There's a handful of reasons for why they would want to post fake listings. I imagine more than half of job listings are fake by now.
Even worse - they are fake, or already fulfilled, or repost from report from report from another job-hunting place.
Job listed serve a purpose : make it look like the business is blooming. It's literaly SEO and success-signaling.
I've seen the same job listing for a few years in a row, literaly 100% the same.
It also serves the gov that will blame people that can't get a job that there are "millions of jobs to be fulfilled".
Obviously, everything about the job market is fake, and bottom-line jobs will make you want to rip your head apart anyway.
There is no espace. We're already fighting for scraps.
Its my birthday (thirty three) , I want to get trashed in few hours.... don't know if it will happen , other than that Im sitting searching and creating problems in my head to be "blackpilled" again.
Things are going really well actually, lifts are going well, losing fat and prob the leanest ive been in months. Nofap is going well too. I think im gonna make it bros
>hey where is the bar thread, I got some feels to share >wait >it's not friday >mfw I forgot what day it is >mfw for me it doesn't matter anymore what day it is
>moving in half a year >lost my job >been applying for jobs daily for nearly a month >nothing
was feeling pretty good because I'm keen to move but the job hunting is starting to wear me down
I am not strong enough, and the limitations of my body are fricking torturing me. I am so fricking frustrated that I can only do seven fricking push-ups in a set, that I'm only losing a pound and a half a week, that I'm seeing no visible or functional results after two weeks of work with a bodyweight program. I am trying very hard to stay positive and pace myself, but jesus christ I am losing hope in my ability to improve.
Oh dude, believe me, I know it's irrational. This is the first time in my life that I'm seriously working out, so I know I just need to keep with it. It's just difficult at times.
>I can only do seven fricking push-ups in a set, that I'm only losing a pound and a half a week
If you weigh 200-300 pounds and you can do 7 push-ups, you'll be able to do so many more when you weigh a third or half less.
YGMI , just be patient and persistent
get a promotion, get skills, get money, get b***hes, get a manageable property in the countryside, get the tools and knowledge required to thrive without the indirect support of society, that's your plan for when the arse falls out of the world again.
when covid happened I lost my job and moved in with my grandmother, I turned her yard into an allotment and we planted potatoes, tomatoes, cabbages, lettuces, leeks, onions, garlic, and chillies. we ate what we grew and sold the rest and replanted. I bought a chainsaw and worked cash in hand taking care of yards for people who didn't know how to. I washed my arse in the shower and put a brick in the cistern to keep our costs down when every moron was pushing the water bills up buying jacuzzis. I fixed my glow plugs, fuel temperature probe, and turbo by watching YouTube. I installed 4G WiFi in my gran's house and finished university studying online.
when the world breaks down everything that should be working stops working. if you can fix those things for yourself then you'll be fine and the world has only gone wrong for other people.
I am dealing with some withdrawal symptoms from quitting some psych meds, but doing surprisingly well under these conditions.
I think I'll make it just fine. Just need some time to get things right. God forgive me.
In pretty stressful situation rn looking for a job, but not wanting one. Most my problems would be solve with money as I'm pretty used to solitude and can find solace in it, but I need to have money, and unfortunately I don't live in a country that would provide me gibs for faking mental illness
I live in a 8 room house. I have 2x cars that I love to look at. I have a wife that cares about me and my well being. Have a 3 yr old kid and a new kid on the way. No financial issues and work from home 4 days per week where I just relax.
I was looking at my chain saw today and was wondering how it would feel like to saw my leg off and if I would survive the blood loss.
Contemplating suicide but I can’t because my parents would be sad and my siblings are all useless frickups. I just wanna finish uni, get a job, move out and either start a family or rope. Whichever comes first!
my daughter was born a few days ago, but both her and my wife are still in hospital due to complications
really fricking sucks that they're not home yet, going a bit crazy driving back and forth
It's been a really fricking long year, and it's gonna keep being difficult until at least October. I'm not giving up though, hopefully I've worked myself to a much better position in Spring
The hardest part is having noone to share it with
Start forcing people to interact with you I’ve been sitting around the bus stop talking to whoever’s there until they get on I just never get on and go home eventually
Going to turn my life around this semester at uni, i just need to focus up and stick to my goals. it's over summer just ended and we're so back fall starts now.
good luck lil bro, i know your pain all too well. except in my case im the one who ended it, but i felt she didn't love me anymore. truth is she shouldve ended long before i did.
Don't grovel but show her your passion. This works for my wife: Grab her, hug her tight, kiss her passionately, then walk away. Don't act like you are doing it in an attempt to get laid. Unleash passion on her face and body, just enough to show her your physical attraction is stronger than ever, then walk away. Do nice shit for her. If she says thank you, don't respond. It's implied. Walk off, go back to your own thing. Don't act like she is your whole world even if she is. Idk what it is but women love intense passionate love without you hoping for a crumb of sex. Works in my case at least. Women love simps until you are in a relationship. Then they want a man
rite of passage man, everyone's "serious" "i'm so in love" relationship most likely ends with you going to the lowest low you've ever been in
not without its upsides though, those following weeks are when you realize that women don't and can't love at all and your perspective on the whole dynamic changes for the better and becomes healthier
It's what lets you grow up and realize that part of being an adult involves loss and being on your fricking own.
Those kind of relationships are, generally, good. While you're in them you gain experience, learn to utilize and practice empathy and you experience a variety of feelings you probably were not exposed to prior to dating.
In the same vein, the lowest low you will inevitably reach help cultivate emotional maturity, personal identity and all that homosexual shit.
They're good for self growth. That's the only thing one should ever really expect out of a relationship truly.
yeah, real
that said, your first love ending not on your terms will probably leave you somewhat fricked up for good, whether for better or for worse, i genuinely have not seen women the same way since
Yeah I was pretty fricked up after my first serious relationship ended. Just ended up having one night stands and did a frick ton of psychedelics for a year. Had a bit of a male manipulator arc. Granted, I ended the relationship somewhat on my own terms by cheating so not the exact same.
I think that in the end, you come out a better person for it. After that relationship and recovering, I view women differently sure, but I mostly just view them as other people. My standards are far higher now.
9 months ago
Anonymous
>My standards are far higher now.
That's my conclusion as well. My "seriously in love" relationship ended this past year, and I ended it. Ending it took a lot of guts because I've always been kind of a simp and I'm still learning to get past that.
rite of passage man, everyone's "serious" "i'm so in love" relationship most likely ends with you going to the lowest low you've ever been in
not without its upsides though, those following weeks are when you realize that women don't and can't love at all and your perspective on the whole dynamic changes for the better and becomes healthier
summarizes the experience perfectly.
Regarding high standards, I feel as if mine are incredibly high for another serious relationship. I would need her to have a good heart, family, positive mental attitude, and communication. Not to mention she better make money similar to me, or at least not be in crippling debt.
In the meantime I will be progressing to ottermode and exploiting other women for casual sex who don't meet the criteria. I grew up very naive and sheltered so I think it's important to meet with more women.
True. Though I think you have to experience the "love of my life" relationship first to better understand this dynamic. I once was this guy that was so in love.
yeah nah, it's something you have to go through yourself unfortunately
my relationship was something out of a fricking fantasy book it was so magical, up until the point where it just ended almost in the span of a week
i haven't involved myself in the degrading self-humiliation ritual of trying to woo women as if they're worth the effort since, my standards are paradoxically much higher despite me not initiating the breakup and the biggest takeaway is that for some reason i'm more at peace being alone - probably because the mystical nature of a woman is gone and you get to observe their true nature. women simply do not experience love like men do and this one fricking stings to realize, 'tis the truth
>30 yo >married 3 years >quit job, want to open my own place >stressful af but I have lots of savings >it's hard and slow but making progress >still stressed >wife pushes me to open up >always bottle up my emotions >men shouldn't show weakness sort of stuff >I don't cave in >she keeps pressing telling me it's ok >open up >she asks for divorce
never again I'll be in a relationship bros
now I'm gonna fully focus on work, get in the best shape of my life and make her regret
still wanna kms every night
Just go frick twinks >not as emotional as women >literally down to just frick and that's it >lil freaks in bed
Just don't go for any that id as trans or you'll get the same shit you'd get with a woman but with the aggressiveness of a man.
Since I got dental work done I've felt so much better about myself and my self image that I'm doing pretty good. Can't wait to go to church on Sunday. Can't wait to work out later today.
I'm holding up well.
About 1.5 hours until I head to the gym. Sunburnt from work (capenter), cats asleep in my lap, sons my lifting partner and he's taking a nap.
Honestly nothing I could really complain about. I drink one energy drink a day, and its calling to me but I gotta hold out a bit longer.
I think the most recent girl to frick me over completely broke my libido. I've been getting fricked around with and abused by women for about three years since breaking up with my abusive ex girlfriend, but this last girls seemed like she was gonna be different than that. I can't describe the amount of hope I had in her. She was a legit 9/10, used to be 10/10 but now 29 and showing some aging. Romantic and fun, low maintenance.
Then all of a sudden she just completely flipped and turned on me, became a nightmare and I had to cut her loose, and now, I just can't be arsed anymore. I don't know how to describe it. I see more hot girls and I just feel nothing. I look at them and just think they're going to turn out how every other of the dozens of girls I've gotten involved with turn out. Even ones who start off seeming sweet and nice turn fricking insane, and it just damages me to the point where now I experience a girl acting nice and I just wait for the other shoe to drop.
All of this has amounted to me basically only getting boners in the morning when I wake up, but through the day I'm mentally not there. I just don't ever feel turned on, no random boners popping up. I used to get a boner just texting a girl, but now texting anyone my brain just associates it with pain.
I know that depression and mentality have a lot to do with libido, but this feels like I'll never come back.
>Romantic and fun, low maintenance. >Then all of a sudden she just completely flipped and turned on me
wtf is wrong with women. they can't keep getting away with this shit. from my own experience you were probably overlooking some red flags. sorry bro.
Nah, I often ignore red flags but this girl was especially special because for the first time she seemed like someone who was actually really great and everything felt so natural from the start and all the usual shit girls pull she did not pull. She was always there and dependable, never had to chase her to get her attention, and she seemed head over heels for me. Then she completely 180'd because I didn't send her any good morning texts for three days after our second date.
It's not the first time it's happened either. If girls can go from acting in love with you to just lying then disappearing so easy, I just can't anymore. I kept thinking the next one would be different and not like that, but they always do.
One of my friends said he never dates girls over 8/10 and that's my problem, but frankly if I have to go so doomerpilled that I believe any attractive female is going to be impossible and insane then I might as well just not even bother.
Fricking Christ this is me. It has been a month and nothing turns me on any more.
If you ever meet a good girl it'll probably come back. The hardware is all still there, it's your software that's down. Before this experience I felt pretty much the same, then met her and suddenly was getting random boners just being around her again, but now I've got no reason to be turned on so the libido is just gone again.
Only thing that kinda gets me hard is treating women like objects and being, what feels to me anyways, like a monster. Like frick their feelings, frick their background, I'm filled with such bitterness and hatred I'm going to frick you and punch the back of your head because frick you. I'm not treating you like a human being so I don't get hurt. I want to hurt you. Funnily enough there's a part of me that thinks this is probably the best bet considering how many women, ESPECIALLY older women, there are into BDSM now.
I think we have the same problem. I once lost a boner with some girl who was not really up to my usual standards, but then when she let me choke her near unconscious my bone came back diamonds and I finished fricking the shit out of her. Only time that's happened to me so far.
Unfortunately, girls who are into that stuff are also insanely broken and unstable and you can't really make a relationship out of them. Can't speak to older women because I've only actually ever fricked girls 18-21 but a lot of girls in that age group are also into BDSM, choking, spanking, slapping, etc.
I've been having pain in both of my sides recently and I don't know whats the cause of it. Had a sharp pain on my right side and went to the ER and they found nothing wrong so I'm at a loss here
>turned 30 this year >hairline receding >waistline increasing >seeing signs of aging in my face >still single >have a good career, but not a great career >all my friends married/in relationships >have no prospects for women
>be 23 yo virgin, moderately depressed and passing through life >have always felt lonely and conscious of my lack of female affection >witness a man jump off my building's roof while I try to stop him >the joking thoughts of killing myself now have a grain of truth to them >think of suicide semi-ironically almost every day >decide to finally cave in and ask my doc for antidepressants to numb the unhappiness >feel more numb but at least I don't feel so self conscious anymore >no longer feel the urge to lift or keep my diet in check, to jerk off, even to meet women anymore >somehow suddenly manage to meet a girl >she likes me a lot >leads to sex >I can't cum >can't even stay hard >pretend to orgasm and go to sleep >girl is now my gf and she likes me a lot >I don't care much for her at all
I am no longer a virgin, I have a gf, but I don't really care. I cut the antidepressant dose too, but more or less I feel the same way. It feels strange that I achieved this goal of having the affection that I craved yet I don't care for it anymore. For instance, I dreamt many years of having a girl call me handsome, admire my physique, and find me funny which she does. Honestly, I think the fact that I don't care for it is what she finds attractive. It's all so tiresome and contradictory. At the same time I also managed to achieve my long term fitness goals after 8 years of lifting and now the idea of self improvement appeals less and less. Any of you guys here have thoughts on this or simliar experiences?
They made me less self conscious which in turn made my interactions with people a little more positive. At the same time, I am still the same socially moronic person so getting a gf was still a huge coincidence - I don't think ssri's will fix this. For instance the end of our first date she went in for the kiss but I wasn't feeling it so I just said "Sorry I'm really autistic" and gave her a hi-five instead before saying goodnight
How'd you meet?
I matched with her on tinder and ironically the same day I saw her in my apartment building so I hit her up about it
im self conscious too. One time when there was a "kiss" vibe going on between me and a girl, i know because we were so close by i had my hand against the wall and we just had pure eye contact and smiling at each other. What was going through my mind at that moment was basically "Oh god I think shes looking at my nose and she's disgusted by me" so I never took action.
I feel the same way. I needed a decent amount of alcohol to break the first kiss barrier when we were in my apartment. The other night she tried grabbing my dick and I felt ashamed because my penis is skinny and she would laugh at me or think I’m weird. She didnt seem to care and I had to convince myself that it’s ok to feel good sometimes. Maybe exposure is the solution idk.
>be 23 yo >decide to finally cave in and ask my doc for antidepressants to numb the unhappiness
The long lack of female affection has simply numbed you to emotions.Work on your micro traumata, pills only shadow your problems (unironically).You will have to learn to open your heart again.
Become the rage
Become the ugly
Become the monster
Become the forgiving
Become the savior
Become the angel
was in the same spot sometime ago, it's possible
>Become the rage
I think I understand what you are talking about anon. I used this rage to fuel my workouts for many years (ages 16-22) before I realized that they weren’t getting me anywhere with women which made me very jaded to said anger. Could you elaborate how you were able to open your heart again? I’m curious
>For instance the end of our first date she went in for the kiss but I wasn't feeling it so I just said "Sorry I'm really autistic" and gave her a hi-five instead before saying goodnight
based levels off the charts, and you even fricked her after it kek
>For instance the end of our first date she went in for the kiss but I wasn't feeling it so I just said "Sorry I'm really autistic" and gave her a hi-five instead before saying goodnight
Amazing , speechless...
>be 23 yo >decide to finally cave in and ask my doc for antidepressants to numb the unhappiness
The long lack of female affection has simply numbed you to emotions.Work on your micro traumata, pills only shadow your problems (unironically).You will have to learn to open your heart again.
Become the rage
Become the ugly
Become the monster
Become the forgiving
Become the savior
Become the angel
was in the same spot sometime ago, it's possible
it's different for every1 ofc, but for most dudes its just working. Seeing improv in something you put effort into is really rewarding. + tbh I kinda smell depression adhd in your posts, flexing for not caring about your gf etc.
don't quit SSRIs cold turkey they can have massive side effects that last for years. brain zaps, dulled emotions, bizarre emotional responses, seizures, etc. wind the dose down slowly. I did that and ten years later my brain is still only getting close to normal.
don't worry about not feeling any particular attachment to your gf, that'll pass. men and women feel emotions very differently especially when depression and SSRIs are involved. our emotions are far stronger but less frequent, however when they do happen they're more intense. your gf might feel warm and bubbly love when she's with you but you don't and that's fine, but you'll definitely feel something if she's gone from your life.
female emotions use the presence of something as a stimulus, they're strongly attached to something that is there
male emotions use the absence of something as the stimulus, we're strongly attached to something that isn't there. our emotions are far more abstract than the feel good chemical soup that fills women's brains constantly.
emotions exist to guide us through problems and solutions, and a lot of men find that they don't feel emotions strongly but that's because they don't need chemicals to tell them what to do in the day to day management of their lives. it's a sick joke of modern society that you're expected to always have a strong emotional response to the most mundane shit, but that's how women process the world. answering "how does that make you feel?" with "nothing" isn't abnormal at all, and you don't have to feel strongly about something that isn't on your emotional radar because you as a man don't need emotions to guide you through most situation.
i quit cold turkey and i'm fine, sometimes i wonder if i should be more excited when i pr but gym is such routine now that i'm not surprised by that.
sucks it effed you up though
SSRIs made me less self conscious as well, and it removed most of my anxiety, but as a result I realized everything I did was moved by anxiety >if I order food I will break my diet and get fat and waste money >if I don't lift today I will get flabby >if I don't sleep enough hours I will be too tired to work next day >if I don't put in the effort I won't get the tasks of the week done (WFH)
All of those worries gone, but in the bright side, now I have to do things out of discipline, so it's actually good. Still a virgin at 26 though.
Had a rough afternoon, I was eating some ground beef and rice, and I thought to myself I'd really like some cheese with it. I almost did it, but then I thought of the Rebbe and his teachings, so I stopped myself. Read some Psalms afterwards, life trully is blessed.
I am okay. Mentally speaking I’m doing way better than I have in years.
However that’s just the start. I’ve stood up in the hole I’ve been stuck in now it’s time for me to start climbing out of it.
Today I started applying to an apprenticeship but will have to wait on highschool transcripts to arrive in a week to turn it in. If I pass the aptitude test and get accepted I will begin working on January which is a big step for me. I’ll be able to recover my financial situation in about 1 year and finally leave the nest.
Aside from that I need to get my physical health in order. It’s a matter of consistency as I know what to do. I’ve done this in the past before falling into this hole and reverting back to my former 17 year old self. Get my diet in order, go on walks every day, cardio once a week, lift 2-3 times per week. And that’s it the fat will melt, I’ll muscle memory the lost gains back, 6 months to be down to na out 230lbs 6’2”, about 12 months to be in the teen body fat %’s, about 1.5 years to look actually good again and have my gains while being shredded probably would be about 195lbs @ 10%. Time frame doesn’t matter though and I’m mostly concreted with the fat. I just have to make that my lifestyle and not think about it, be consistent and before I know it I’ll look and feel 1000x better.
My ex texted me last Friday then told me to please ignore it immediately. I texted her back yesterday saying I hope she’s doing well and she said >okay you too.
And I felt nothing. So that’s a good sign. I’m not sure why I’m mentioning this, I guess I’m proud that I’ve moved on. I was hesitant to text her back because I thought it would make me sad. But it didn’t. In the future I won’t even respond.
Also I really like what I did at the top “I’ve stood up in this hole I’ve been stuck in and now it’s time I start to climb out of it” I’m proud of that. Sure it’s been said before but I like it.
Getting stronger than I ever have been before. Reaching new heights, physically, mentally, spiritually. Feeling in my lane, I have a purpose and a task, and each day I make progress towards it.
God and family first of all. Prayer, scripture study, loving deeds. Taking care of my home, building a future for a family. Then, community, contributing to my community and helping to uplift my neighbors. Next, my nation, overthrowing the corrupt government and bringing freedom and justice to my people. Then, the entire human race, settling conflicts between peoples and uplifting humanity towards a better future.
This is the plan for the immediate future. I have longer term goals, but I play my cards close to my chest. Overthrowing the corrupt government, bringing freedom and justice to my people, that is the beginning. Peace and prosperity for my nation, ending the injustice, apartheid, and genocide in the Holy Land as well. I care about the Hebrew people, as well as Christians and Muslims. A utopia is a satirical concept, but things could be a lot better.
going bald young (24 now) genuinely ruined my life, it's given me constant existential dread of feeling like I'm running out of time, I don't have that much else going for me I'm not tall or handsome or whatever so I feel the clock fricking ticking and it's making me miserable and stressed.
other than that I'm pretty apathetic about everything, which is concerning me a bit. I just feel nothing; knowing that all I will realistically amount to in life is making someone else money just fills me with spite but I'm so worn down I can't feel any anger just constantly numb. the few experiences I've had with women romantically have all been incredibly negative, I got laid for the first time in 4 years a few weeks ago and I couldn't even get it up, my self-loathing is so strong and I'm now so nervous about that happening to me again that I can't see myself ever having a good relationship with women in my lifetime, I think about killing myself most days tbqh.
>constant existential dread of feeling like I'm running out of time
Same, balding, it sucks. I won the genetic lottery in a lot of ways but this one is a killer. Only worse genetic curses a man can get are manletism or dickletism.
Daytime is good
But the nights are just miserable, it's like after 7pm I want to kill myself. I literally go to sleep at 8 - 9 pm because I don't want to feel
I posted about it last week but I tore my pec benching 360 like a tard last Tuesday. Got surgery on Friday and now I'm recovering. Surprisingly, the pain isn't bad at all. I don't need any kind of pain killers any more and I'm already getting range of motion back. Long road of recovery ahead, which is fricking annoying.
Was supposed to fly out to see this girl that I like, but I had to cancel that so I'm just lonely and recovering at the moment. I'm good. Feeling blessed that I didn't fricking die and that I have insurance to cover costs.
Alcoholic here .I haven't gotten blackout drunk in a month or so, which is very big progress for me. I fantasize about drinking myself to oblivion often. Like how people dream about starting a Vineyard, or an pet orphanage.
I want to save up enough money to move out to a cheap city alone and just get shitfaced every day.
Not so great. Something broke in my mind yesterday, and I think I'm done trying to get women. I've been miserable the past idk how many years trying to make something work, and it's not working. Too ugly for frequent random hookups, very shitty personality for a relationship, and I'm extremely socially isolated and I have zero friends around me here. I hate that I had to leave my country, but whatever. It used to motivate me that when I have kids, they'll have a good future, not start out as poor as I did, not be brought up in a shit environment, grow up with some fricking stability and less mental illness. I don't know what motivates me to keep working hard now away from everyone I love.
Sorry for the gay blogpost. I just need to let this off my chest.
My family are unsuccessful, dysfunctional, and delusional. They're a drain on me. And to add to that, I have no idea what career path to pursue. I burnt out in other fields. I'm disciplined, motivated, and all that gay shit but I'm stuck against a wall.
I have talent in things that are hard to commodify, some odd jobs, and what I was in before. I've thought about starting a snow blowing business this winter but I don't fricking know man.
I'm 31 and have accomplished literally zero in my life. I'm despondent about my life but I still do nothing to improve because I don't see a point when I've missed on everything. Socially, financially, career, life steps, I've accomplished absolutely zero. I realized that I've literally never had ambition or taken initiative to accomplish a single task in my entire life. If it wasn't already laid out for me or given to me, I did nothing and do nothing to seek out better development. My useless pathetic job is a big thing that makes me feel the most useless and pathetic and I would like to just drop it and leave, but I know that if I do, I'll likely never have another job again
I'm miserable from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open all day because of how miserable I am and how utterly useless I feel.
I don't even have the motivation required to commit suicide because it would require me taking the initiative to do it. Instead I just hope that something happens to me, like getting stage 4 cancer or a car hits me or person randomly pulls out a gun and blows my head off.
Honestly, it depends on the day. Maybe I'm manic depressive. One day I'm on top of the world, have a wife that loves me, two daughters to bring up as best I can, own my home, have a job and comfortable amount of money.... Other days I'm barely getting by, ISTness isn't progressing like I'd like, I feel like my wife doesn't love me like she used to, I'm fricking up raising my kids, I'm not living up to my potential, I'm flirting with alcoholism, etc. >inb4 talk to psychiatrist
First off, I don't have the time. Second, I don't need some pharmajewtical pills fricking up my brain.
Not great honestly, not great at all. However, I am lucky that I have a decent friend group, I know a lot of guys that don't so I should consider myself lucky.
The concept of having even a basic life is outside my realm of comprehension. Having friends, having a relationship, having a fulfilling career, wanting to own a house, have kids, I literally cannot even fathom having these things.
>family business in shambles >family broken essentially
Dont listen to anyone who tells you "it gets better with time"
It doesnt, you just learn to cope with your objectively shittier life after a close loved one dies.
Death is common, everyone else learns to cope, you dont really have a choice and will eventually learn too.
The question is, are you going to let the family business go down in shambles or let your government frick over your chance at having a family?
You have it in you to lift, you absolutely have it in you to cope and persevere.
im aight. just feel like im on a treadmill in life right now. work/come home/take care of baby/try (and fail) to get personal projects done or other learning/do errands and other adult bs. same shit, doing everything right but dont feel like my family is going anywhere. savings isn't building as fast as i would like it, still in a fricking apartment and a house seems less and less possible with each year. updated my resume and started browsing for something new but i just dont want to do anything. no job interests me, id rather just go provide my own services and pave my own way but cold approaching and committing work to a business or person gives me anxiety that im not powering through. idk, just feeling kinda cowardly lately. that i know i can do XYZ and be successful and improve the situation for myself and my family but just lacking the courage to even step in that direction.
My only friend just moved to the other side of the country, I got fired from my job 4 months ago, and I haven't lifted properly in months. I'm going back at it tomorrow.
I'm gonna make it bros, no matter how hard it gets. WAGMI
met a good young woman
1/1000 kind of gal
modest clothes don’t hug body and beautiful without makeup
naturally pale white skin and has a light healthy tan from going on picnics every week with her family (I find that more attractive than pale white)
wears beautiful arabian traditional clothes and light makeup when I visit her and her family
she loves me a lot and I would never admit it until maybe after we’re married or special circumstances but I love her too
her family not only approves of me but they like me and are proud of me for my achievements and career
they pray together daily about on par with me and my family
we’re the same religion
by chance I used to coach her niece and younger sister for elementary school sports (that’s actually how I met her)
her whole family even extended family is fit (except her dad is a bit chunky but he works construction until he finishes his program [they’re new to Canada] and is only like 40 lbs overweight, classic dad bod)
they appreciate the fact that I’m really fit
she’s super family oriented
my sister is 1 year older than her, and loves her and openly tells me she wishes she’d had a sister around her age all the time, so i imagine they’d be great friends. I ran a social media background check and she doesn’t post pictures of herself just emotionally positive stuff and pictures of her grandparents holding her and her siblings as babies.
my whole family approves of her
she passes my mom’s manners and beauty standards
my mom wants me to cut all connection with her family my — mom feels her mom complains a lot and her mom has brick red skin, which is a bit darker than my mom’s beauty standards
she wants me to meet her new friend’s daughter
how can i proceed in a way that honors my mother— I’m more than happy to just say get over these complaints you have and proceed, but is there a way to get her on board? (Also, could my mom be right?)
How does a woman having brick red skin not passing your mothers standard of beauty mean you’d have to cut all contact? Is this some deep cultural issue? That sounds weird. What religion?
I took my little brothers to the park
her family was at the park
and her younger sister and niece wanted to come by and say hello because they know me from when I used to coach them
then she came by to check up on them and we talked for a bit and then I mustered the courage to go up to their family and get parental blessing and a phone number for both and got invited to join their picnic with my little brothers, which was very nice and enjoyable
How does a woman having brick red skin not passing your mothers standard of beauty mean you’d have to cut all contact? Is this some deep cultural issue? That sounds weird. What religion?
both families are muslim >cultural weirdness
yep, some pale skinned syrians (and I’m sure a lot of other groups, Africans and asians buying skin lighteners, 1488 and all that jazz) take a skin color thing a bit too deep. the girl herself looks nothing like her mom so she passes my moms beauty standards, and frankly her mom looks very healthy for her age and is not ugly at all, but My mom’s so pale she’s been mistaken for a nun multiple times while working at the hospital and she’s pretty convinced that because her mom is like a lighter brick red tone that the kids would be darker (like a heavy tan) which 1. I wouldn’t care if my kid is a bit tan, as long as it’s my kid, being tan isn’t a pro or con, 2. That’s not how biology works, it’s very rare for two people to have a kid is noticeably darker or lighter than an average of the two people.
local imam told me her skin tone complaints are not a valid criticism and religiously I have no obligation to honour them but I do have to honor her and show kindness as much as possible so idk
is the skin stuff just a beauty preference or is it bordering on actually thinking certain people are truly beneath others on a deeper level? hearing non-whites or at least those that aren’t euro-white treat skin colour that’s way is bizarre since by their rules they would be beneath even me.
yes and no, for example a Greek can view all Greeks as superior to anglos, but also view fairer Greeks to be superior to more tanned Greeks
however they may put anglos above Sudanese folk by skin color
for this skin tone dynamic some people are obsessed with it, and other people are barely conscious it exists and only notice when someone brings it up— kind of like height
>Couldn't get hard with this new girl I'm seeing >even with a pill
I think my head is messed up from years of being alone/porn. With my ex, it took me around 3-4 encounters to become comfortable too
I'm going back to college after realizing the army wasn't for me, I'm starting to see actual visible gains, working on improving my mind and getting back into hobbies (bass, skating ,etc)
But frick you know, it's like there's something missing? Maybe it's just because I'm 20, but even after smoking DMT and having my whole existential crisis solved, I still don't know what the frick I want to do with my life?
Then again, everything isn't great. I'm leading a girl on that I'm not exactly all that interested in, but frick it, sex is sex. Smoking way too much weed as of late.
Depressed and lonely. Lifts are getting back up to previous levels, tho. Would help if all the new PED monkeys would stay out of the gym long enough in this post COVID world for me to actually use gum equipment. You don't need to fricking deadlift at max, for 4 sets, 6 days a fricking week. How is your spine not popcorn you rich daddy's boy, generational wealth exploiting PED abuser?? At least the fricker nearly got kicked out, for bringing his party speaker in, again.
After breaking up with gf that I had for 10years, i had to move back with my parents to the others side of their country.
Here I am totally alone. No friends, no job. No nothing.
I'm not used to being dependent on them, and want to escape, but the job market here is atrocious.
I've been thinking all night about suicide, how to do it, when to do it, writing a suicide letter.
Problem is, this isn't the first time i battle with it.
Last year, even while having gf, i promised myself I would suicide by December, if things didn't change.
And in December, things did change. We moved from a place we hated, to a much better place, a much much better house.
Only to stay there for 3 months, and see all that progress negated, and be thrown in a deeper pit of Despair, without what I considered my wife, without friends, and without freedom.
Having to rebuild everything, and I mean everything, from nothing.
You see anon, I think I have a logical mind. When I ask myself "what will suicide accomplish?"
Something on there replies "everything. The release of a life not worth living".
And I have no argument against that.
It is that grim.
I hate bong dentistry.
my teeth are utterly fricked for various reasons (mostly from drinking 2 litres of doctor pepper a day and never cleaning my teeth as a kid) and I've been flossing, mouthwashing, and brushing daily for months and quit smoking 2 months ago, but there's a lot of staining and the right side of my lower jaw has swollen up around the teeth and the gums are climbing up my premolars. I paid the dentist £80 to check it out cos y'know cancer from smoking 40 a day for a decade, and also book a deep scrub to get rid of the baccy stains. I'm also getting constant ulcers which I'm convinced is an allergic reaction to an ingredient in one of the dental products I use. My gums don't hurt even when I poke at them but they bleed like a b***h.
The dentist said that the swelling is nothing to be concerned about and it will go away on its own, the ulcers can't be caused by an allergic reaction because the only ingredient I could be allergic to is sodium laureth sulfate and it can't be that because I don't get a burning sensation when I use it, and I can't book a deep clean until the swelling has gone down.
I really feel like she's fobbing me off and am already calling other dentists for a second opinion, and have replaced my oral products with SLS free ones. If anons have any other advice please let me know.
i dont know if i got autistically exposed or mired. this happened a week or so ago and im still thinking about it
>get home from work >take off clothes >work out >shower >put on post-shower clothes (random hawaiian shirt and pic related shorts, would never wear these in any other occasion, they are my post workout shower clothes) >walk over to grocery store a block away >always bring red college grocery bag >buy w/e i felt like cooking for tonight >return home, cook, and change into pajamas >been doing this for at least 3 years >... >week ago >buying some crap >checkout clerk is a female >bought some peanut butter filled pretzels >she says >"oh are these healthy? ive never tried them before" >"huh?" >"oh well youve lost so much weight, i assumed they were healthy, haha" >finished bagging everything and scanned my card >pick up all my bags (1 hand) >make eye contact >"yeah they have lots of protein" >flex bicep >her eyes grow wider >walk away
should i find a new store or should i make small talk
neither
she’s kind and chubby and is a little self conscious about her weight
it’s been on her mind and she’s struggling to cope/deal with the issue and kinda knows pb pretzels aren’t healthy but is kind of hoping that somehow they might be healthy so she could enjoy the taste of junk food and still lose the weight that’s been weighing on her
why yes I did just finish the first episode of suits, how did you know?
P.S. if you’re interested, you’re interested— that’s the deciding factor if you should go for it
>date a girl from 19-24 >actually engaged 3.5 years in >a few months later she gets cancer >tried to fight it >does around 1.5 years later
>spend forever grieving >couldn't seem to get another relationship as meaningful >go on a self destructive tear for year
>covid hits and I was isolated >realized I was pushing people away and acting out in my anger and pain >work on myself for two years >eventually get a fantastic job, 6 figures after tax, move internationally
>place is hard to meet people but thought I met someone >open, communicative, got along both emotionally and physically >she had a traumatic past but was willing to talk about it >promised me she wasn't planning to leave >told me she wasn't going to leave >said she liked everything about me >leaves eventually anyways saying "I am too good to be true" and "I deserve someone better" >basically the "it's not you it's me talk"
>been months again and I can't get myself to meet or talk to anyone because I still don't know what's wrong with me >why did she leave? >I was straight up told everything was going well and they left >hard to trust people again
I'm 33 years old now, I'm IST, have a great job, it still doesn't seem enough. Want to throw myself out a fricking window.
>fricking window
these fetishes are getting out of control anon
also you’re 33, and that’s when my brother got married so I believe in you and you’re gonna be more than okay plus only occasional depression and existential crises just like normal healthy people experience from time to time okay? The thought of you worrying makes my big heart weep and shed tears so you keep your chin up and I wish you the best
Anon I'm sorry about your fiance, I can't imagine the feeling of loss and unfairness.
The complete degradation and loss of trust after is something I can relate to though. Since breaking up with my gf in 2020 I've spent three years experiencing nothing but lying, ghosting, and abuse from literally dozens of girls, trying to find one to trust. I've arrived at the point where I honestly am feeling disinterested in girls at all, my libido is crushed, and I see beautiful women and just feel nothing because of my experiences with them. I'm 30 as well.
But, you can't win if you don't play. I have a friend who checked out of women when he was only 20 or so because he got a girlfriend in uni, moved across the country to be with her, then she cheated on him. Since then, the last ten years, he hasn't bothered with women, hasn't even tried. Me, I've had similar shitty experiences but just kept trying, again and again, knowing the outcome was going to be bad but holding on that maybe I'd win the lottery somehow. Gotta just keep going. You really have no choice. If you want a happy, healthy future, you literally just have to keep doing the thing that hurts you until maybe one day it doesn't.
I just don't get the fricking lying. It's not that I know it doesn't happen, hell people tell little white lies and position themselves at shit like work.
But to do so to someone you apparently care/cared about?
Even when I was going through my self-destructive behaviour I never led anybody on. It was basically, I'm just interested in fricking and want nothing more, then I am going to frick off somewhere. And I view myself as a piece of shit during that time.
>lying >ghosting >abuse
Just frick people man. I need to keep doing the thing that hurts but I still miss my most recent ex as well. I also don't want to hurt anyone else, so I can't tell if I'm in some chicken and egg situation. Do I try to feel better first, or do I just say frick it and start throwing myself out there again.
Many people don't think of others as being human at all and therefor there is nothing wrong in lying to you. In particular, women, despite being thought of as empathetic and compassionate, by and large don't think of men as humans or consider that men have feelings. Men are disposable for women. Every even marginally attractive girl existing today in the first world has an absolutely infinite supply of men in the palm of their hand through social media and dating apps, and that makes any one of them about 1/10000th of the attention she's receiving that day. Eventually they see so many men's "Hey whatsup thought you were super cute and wanted to DM and..." messages that they all become the same and all run together.
Bottom line being, attractive women with empathy and who haven't been mindraped by being raised on social media since middle school are extremely rare. It is what it is.
>Do I try to feel better first, or do I just say frick it and start throwing myself out there again.
No point in wasting time out of your life waiting for some arbitrary day in the future you may feel better. Finding someone new and genuine may remedy what ails you.
I just don't get the fricking lying. It's not that I know it doesn't happen, hell people tell little white lies and position themselves at shit like work.
But to do so to someone you apparently care/cared about?
Even when I was going through my self-destructive behaviour I never led anybody on. It was basically, I'm just interested in fricking and want nothing more, then I am going to frick off somewhere. And I view myself as a piece of shit during that time.
>lying >ghosting >abuse
Just frick people man. I need to keep doing the thing that hurts but I still miss my most recent ex as well. I also don't want to hurt anyone else, so I can't tell if I'm in some chicken and egg situation. Do I try to feel better first, or do I just say frick it and start throwing myself out there again.
I mean no offense but you're both part of the problem and the reason why you're experiencing what you are. The fact that men are still spiraling in the humiliation ritual of trying to court women when they completely dominate the sexual market and thus, being an addition on top of their pile of 200 other simps who are craving for her attention to feel validated is why they feel like it's not even morally wrong for them to treat you like you're disposable. Because you are. Because you chase relentlessly and have no standards. Just like the other 200 options that they have.
Oh well. This era fricking sucks, I am deeply disappointed to be here.
brother, unironically see a therapist. It sounds like you need to talk to someone who can help process this shit. If the woman i was going to marry died of cancer that young then I'd be devastated. It sounds like you're afraid of the people you love leaving you. Sending my condolences.
Right now, a lot of things look better than ever, but I still have to capitalize on my better situation. I guess this time now is even more important than the steps it took to get here, because I'm just starting to get on the right track, I'm not there yet. One thing that is helping me get better is that a good friend is also trying to "turn his life around". The problem now is that we are both at a point where we have made our first good decisions, but we haven't really put them into action yet. We're on the doorstep, but we haven't opened the door yet. I know it's wrong, but I also depend a lot on my mate, and I think I'm more capable of changing my life than he is. For clarity, in my case it was about drugs and money issues (no debt, just being perma broke), in his case alcoholism and also money issues. We both got clean and started a business together (I know, I know. There's no significant financial risk and we've done all the paper work), and everything was looking promising but then he had an accident, relapsed, and now we've put everything on hold for the past 2 or 3 weeks. When I get in touch with him he always assures me that he's getting back to work asap. I guess I might need a plan b (e.g. a job).
awful. every time I get into decent fitness through a strict regimine, it only ends up lasting 3-4 months maximum before something shit happens in my life that requires my full attention for a few weeks, and breaks the habit. then it takes me another 3-4 months of backsliding until things get so bad that I'm forced to take my health seriously again. idk how to develop the discipline to get back on the proverbial horse after an absence
this is the way
I lift twice a week and run twice a week and yoga once a week and bike daily
because I enjoy these things
look into swimming and skip rope, calisthenics, biking, boxing, yoga and weightlifting out but skip the parts you don’t want to do.
Yesterday I was feeling good, today not so much. My big problem is loneliness, no friends no gf. I feel like I'm not a real person, the only thing I have going for me is an aesthetic body and a pretty face.
15 hours a week stocking groceries. Probably better than being a neet, the small social I do is basically it for the day. Dont really have much motivation to get a better job or improve my life beyond lifting
I’m ok but I binged on pasta bake my wife made last night and then woke up in the middle of the night with terrible stomach pains and still feel shitty. Also my heart was racing. I think I need to do a water fast today.
I'm literally not holding up at all. I'm literally a seething ball of cataclysmic lava, I'm literally 1 bad day away from ending up in a mess >tfw that's probably what they want anyway
The only thing holding me together is "mom would be sad"
>make progress. Everything is fine >cut >start bulking but no progress >get fatter but barely stronger >cut >get fatter but barely stronger
I used to bench 60kg with 2 dumbbells, which was okay back then, but now im stuck at sub 50kg
i want to die and take the rest of every living being with me
the people in my ex-family were monsters (which is why I went NC as soon as I hit 20 years old). want to trade? you can make their lives hell if you want, and I'd like to at least have someone close in my life that I can call family
i'm going to try to taper my drinking down today, it's been a rough year and i've been off the rails for too long - i've averaged around 600-1000ML vodka per day for the past 2-3 months so i'm a bit reluctant to just quit cold turkey
i'm thinking of drinking 50ML 4x per day at scheduled intervals for the next week, it's still a lot at 200ML per day but it should be enough to kick the DTs and seizures
from next friday onwards i'll move it to 25ML 4x per day and see how i feel, trying not to have medical intervention since luminal makes me feel like death and benzos for WDs are too easy to get hooked on, i don't want to replace one addiction with another
there's a light a the end of the tunnel, or at least we have to tell ourselves that - i wish you all luck and happiness in the future
Great. I just got my dream job as a scientist and I’m making enough money to live in a house with my wife. I’m so aryan giga chad that everyone calls Dr.X. I program in 8 programming languages and do any type of mathematical modeling yet I work in a completely different science but occasionally use those skills. Life is awesome. I’m going to gym every night
Spent the last 3 years in a cult if sorts (not religious), now thinking about leaving but not sure what I'll do after. I came here because my previous life sucked.
I wish I could find something meaningful to do which didn't include sitting on the pc, but that seems unlikely.
inside the cult i'd imagine everything was planned out for you, the the cult is all-encompassing but now you're out the whole world is there for you to explore - it's big, scary, unfriendly, and intimidating sometimes but it's also beautiful if you don't let yourself get downtrodden
Essentially there was this big software project that the cultists worked on, but it wasn't successful enough and now I'm kinda done here.
I've lived a normal life before, but the 9to5 ain't for me, so I'm out of ideas on what next. I'm all out of ambition
can't complain tbh.
I have a job and I feel I have no fricking clue what I'm supposed to do, yet I get paid.
It's an 8 to 6 (yeah, frick that 9 to 5 weak bullshit) but still I manage to train fro around 2h after I get home
things don’t bring forth happiness nor an end to suffering
embrace part of life (one could argue a large part) is suffering. This is a good or bad thing depending on your view
People wouldn’t even believe how pathetic my life is if I described it. People would just ask how it’s possible to live like this when you’re older than 30, how could you waste and ruin all your best years like this, how could you never have any motivation for anything.
I honestly don’t even care anymore. I don’t have any goals, any motivation, no ambition for anything. I don’t care about having a family, having a career, having a house, fitness goals, hobbies, money, nothing. I have never woken up excited to start the day. I have never been happy in my entire life. When I read stories about people dying young or committing suicide, I am envious of their courage or jealous that they got to die.
Im trying to find and apartment so i can move out of my grandmas house but its hard to find a place in my price range that isnt full of criminal scum, thin walls, and ancient appliances. Starting to worry Ill be stuck here for another year.
Dunno. I have great education, better than 99% of people, and now I'm working on my body to get it back in the top shape but when it comes to career it's dead. I just wanted to live an honest live but the game is rigged. I'm not willing to take a job that will suck all the life out of me just to be able to survive. I just want a semi-decent job. It's been over half a year of unemployment and sometimes I'm thinking of ending my life to not be a burden to anyone.
Went to go to the gym this morning, found my back window busted out and my ignition all fricked up.. also they stole my pack of gum. I drive a Hyundai but it has an immobilizer, this is the 2nd attempted theft this year, I think I’m going to have to get rid of it just because the brand is too hot. Sitting around waiting on an estimator to call me so I can get it towed to a shop.
I’m supposed to go to a concert today for my bday, the person I was going with had to cancel and I have no one to give me a ride. Guess I’ll have to dump $200 on Ubers.
I just wanted to work out and enjoy my day off. Now I’ll have to cancel all my plans for the weekend. Happy birthday lol.
I talked to my gym crush of 2 years yesterday.
We had a nice convo. She put on a huge smile when I saw her today as I was walking out.
I’m gonna full send hit on her next time the opportunity is right. Frick it, I don’t care anymore. I deserve a woman of her caliber and I can’t settle for less.
Been hooking up with tinder/hinge girls and I realized only a fitgirl is going to satisfy my needs. Gotta hunt homie.
Third time in a row that I go alone to a concert today. My girlfriend has to work again, I have no other friends and even though I'm an extrovert, I am not THAT confident to talk to total strangers who most of the time arrive there in groups... Well, this will be fun....
I become a wizard in less than 2 weeks. Realistically how bad is it? I don't think I can ever be intimate at this point bros. I feel like even if I found a girl my lack of experience would ruin any chance of a relationship.
Last weekend my dad and I went on a father-son trip and got to watch one of his best friends get inducted into the NFL hall of fame.
Pretty crazy that the guy that used to come over to our house ever week for a sunday evening barbecue is one of the 371 best pro football players of all time. My fricking peewee football coach. Such an awesome time.
Outside of that work is going well, my gf is happy and finally starting school again (she's a teacher) so she'll be out of the house while I'm wfh which is nice. Getting in really good shape too. It's all looking up right now
Terrible. I keep getting filtered by recruiters for even the most basic jobs. I'm broke and want something to give me purpose besides just lifting. I don't have much work experience, so I've mainly been applying for apprenticeship and entry level jobs. How do I get my shit together if recruiters won't allow me to wageslave entry-level jobs? I'm too old to get the lowest allowed minimum wage, but to inexperienced to hire at minimum wage.
Really well. I’ve started organizing bare knuckle boxing matches with my friends. We’re all learning together, and it’s gotten some of my more out of shape buddies into running and lifting to box better.
>moved to another city to live closer with my gf >brought my brother with me >I was staying at her place for nearly 4 months >my brother was with us the last month >lost access to my weights since they were in his room/spare room >my brother and I finally got a nice place to move >now my relationship with my gf feels strained and she is sad I moved out >I have been so stressed out the last 5 months I fricking gained 10lbs from eating and drinking too much >set up my home gym in the basement earlier this week >can finally skip and do burpess for cardio again >actually counting and keeping track of my calories again
I am hopefull things will go good and I am on an upswing. But I just feel burnt out and like a failure. I got my brother to move with me since he doesn't really have anyone else and I worried about him living alone. In my attempts to find a decent middle ground for everyone I feel like I fricked up. And I saw myself in the mirror the other day and I hated what I saw so thats some good motivation to stay consistent with exercise and diet.
AHHH FRICK. I just want to live alone in a fricking small shed in the swiss alps with a dog and a couple chickens, sheep and cows. Why is this so much to fricking ask.
When I was around 1 year old, I had an ear infection. During that year, my family says I cried non-stop from the pain, so they gave me many doses of antibiotics, until finally a tube was placed into my ear which solved the problem.
...So far so good.
Around the age of 15, my life fell apart. Color began to fade from the world, I couldn't love people anymore, I couldn't enjoy anything, food tasted like cardboard, my stomach was constantly upset, I had severe chronic constipation, my hearing went to shit, my circadian rhythm was destroyed, etc. Everyone said it was because my parents had a messy divorce, "it would heal over time", they said. They put me on antidepressants, none of them worked.
Now, I'm 24, almost 25. I'm just now discovering the new volume of research on antibiotics, how they can destroy the stomach environment almost irreparably. How they increase risk for childhood obesity and ADD, both of which started in me after the antibiotics. I guess I should be angry, furious that they ruined my childhood with obesity and my adolescence with depression. But honestly, I'm just glad to know why it happened. And maybe I still have a chance to recover.
Starting to think my gf was raped when she was a kid, now feeling a little bit off from the relationship and I know Im a bad bad man from that
Havent gone to the gym 3 weeks in a row
Im just awful lads
So tired today, was gonna skip the gym and go to bed early after jacking off. So I went to /gif/, saw an mff threesome thread, and the first webmaster was some guy railing some tiny Asian bawd while a second Asian bawd was watching and talking about how hot it was. Then the guy pulls out of the first girl and finishes in the second girl's mouth. I then turned my computer off, put on my gym clothes, downed a protein shake, got in my truck, and now I'm busting out my bench press sets, already did my squats, then I'll finish with some barbellnrows, and maybe some core work if I'm not to tired after the rows. I'm tired of watching some other guy have Asian girls worship his wiener, I want to be the guy having Asian girls worship his wiener(and white girls, and Latin girls, and black girls if they have a nice face and aren't lard beasts). I don't know if I'll ever be that guy, but I know I don't want to be the guy that's ust watching anymore. I have to try.
2pl8
it'll be alright in the long run
Imagine that girl's sexual past.
Hafthor is so big but yet he's just a cuck really.
lmao what the frick are you talking about?
Not the anon, but definitely a israelite or Chang whose seething they can’t have white women
>Me, 22 years old
>Started lurking IST around February last year after a breakup with an off and on girl
>Browsed casually and worked out
>Get another girlfriend
>"Hey anon, I want to see you in a swim suit"
>Worked my ass off to lose fat
>Post regularly and read threads here a lot more
>Lost 30lbs in under 6 months
>Girlfriend goes crazy and gets told her daddy issues is about how she needs some other gender identity by the university counselors
>breakup
>Met another girl who I ended up being friends with
>Vibe really well with her mostly female group despite me being a massive weeb weirdo
>Honestly, made me really good at talking with normal girls
>Stopped going to IST after losing a lot of belly fat and being stronger than ever
>FF to 2023, met one of the most unhinge, weeb, fujoshi girl
>I love her and we're going strong to this day
I have no need for this place no more. Thank you IST for the one year I browsed and posted. I thank /fat/ in particular for being a source of motivation alongside /cbt/
Not him, but I'm Asian and my gf is white and skinny
How'd you meet these girls?
I meet them at school clubs and classes + dating apps. I do find in person stuff way easier than dating apps, but my current relationship is from Hinge. Also, I seem attract a specific type of women which are those with yellow fever.
godspeed, anon
might kms today, not sure yet
Cool, let us know
IST still hasn't found God, huh?
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Bible-Verses-About-Seeking-God/
Gave up on that God homie, he never answered any of my prayers but when I gave up on his fake ass, life got better.
Remember anons, you can only rely on yourself as you are a man therefore you have the greatest might. No sky gayget is going to help you, answer your own prayers
God was made by men not the other way around
It's one of the most freeing feelings once yoy decide to do it. Not going to lie.
True
Doing ok, had to take a brake cause I fell into some rapids and bruised the shit out of every joint in my body, but I should be back to the gym by next week.
I met a really cute 22yo (I'm 30) and we hooked up, she's great, but the age difference is starting to show, I think one of us will cut each other loose soon. Fairly sure I'm taking a break from women soon anyway, my 20s were filled with nothing but either long, loving, relationships that both ended in pain or random flings that numbed me to what actual love was. I need to try something different in this new decade of my life, and this new girl was hot enough that I'm content with her being the last for a while.
Job is good and still making me money, family ties are much stronger than they were 10 years ago. Lost a bunch of friends during my last major breakup, but I've made more fairly easily, still miss the good old days with some of my buds though, oh well
Lifts are fine and I'm content with how my body looks (finally). Still haven't gotten 2pl8 bench but I've come close, only thing from 1/2/3/4 I haven't gotten. I'd say that's decent for 2 years off and on of natty lifting.
How are you OP? Thanks for the excuse to blogpost before this thread gets nuked
>How are you OP?
i'm about to turn 30 too, bit of a mindfrick how quickly it creeps up on you. I've been with my GF for 5 years and her messages are gradually becoming blunter and less loving, I'm scared she's going to break up with me soon. Maybe I'm worrying too much and she's just going through a tough time
Im sorry anon, i've been there
its over
everything is fine but i dont fricking know how am i going to get a job
the only thing i hope is finding a work that only relies on physical strength
>Got injured on the job last week
>Won't be returning for a few weeks
>Won't be seeing that chick who actually likes me and me liking her
>Gonna be isolated in my apartment 24/7
And school starts in a few weeks too
Finally got back into the mindset of self-improvement and hitting the gym. The first year and a half of fatherhood really fricks with your head, thankfully I got pretty fit while the wife was pregnant so lazy dadbod for me is just back to my old pre-kid fat self. Half this year I've been down with a fricked rotator cuff, which kind of killed motivation to do anything except recover.
Businesses I'm involved in seem to be going ok, I'm not making money yet, but the future is in sight.
I'm cutting. I'm hungry and spaced out, but I feel good. My sleep is so much better without all that crap in my stomach.
Just looking forward to sewercide day, whenever that ends up being
I'm... actually, frick you.
I'm doing good. Just feeling kind of lazy as of late. Too much work and moving around for too long, exhaustion builds up. But I had somewhat figured july and august would be like that so I planned accordingly and it shouldn't get in the way of my fitness.
i have a cold and skipped gym today and on tuesday 🙁
Im in the same boat with a really bad cough but u dont see me complaining, still showed up at the gym and at work
Rub your face and handle all the equipment cough cough Im helping ME.
>i have a cold and skipped gym today and on tuesday 🙁
when i have a cold i usually just drink pwo and kill it anyway
I got laid off 4-5 months ago and even though I got a CS degree, 2-3 years experience and have applied to over 1000 jobs I don't have a job yet, time is flying by, all days feels the same, I'm poor and living off my parents money which feels bad.
But at the end of the day I realized even if I did get a job it would still be the same meaningless life like this webm so that won't really fix the main problem. The void is here to stay I guess.
>But at the end of the day I realized even if I did get a job it would still be the same meaningless life like this webm so that won't really fix the main problem.
It's true
>t.been 6 months without a job and just started another software job
try and freelance webdev on upwork and shit
Any IT related job is fricked ATM.
Here in Britain we have a massive deficit of IT workers in every sector, the government is constantly crying out for more university places, better courses, and more hiring, but employers just aren't hiring.
I've been rejected for the dumbest reasons
>my degree is accredited by the British Computing Society but not the Institute of Engineering and Technology
>I failed filtering within two minutes of applying
>I'm too much of a maverick
>I'm not enough of a maverick
>I'm asking for too much money (asking for the salary stated on the listing)
>the recruiter is concerned about my commute when I selected the "I'm willing to relocate" option (that one was really moronic the job was halfway across the country and the idiot thought I was going to drive it daily, "oh sorry anon but it's already been processed in our system please reapply")
I check companies LinkedIn before applying and if they're posting anything about DIE I skip them. NCSC (government cyber agency) is committed to half of new starters being gender, sexuality, and colour diverse: so they want every other employee to be gay transgender blacks with a strong IT degree and pass the security checks, just how many of those are there in Britain???
Kek then they say we need 600,000 immigrants every year because 'native Brits refuse to do the vacant jobs!'. It's all a disgusting guise to justify wage compression and shitter working conditions.
Anon, those companies are not actually hiring, at all. There's a handful of reasons for why they would want to post fake listings. I imagine more than half of job listings are fake by now.
Even worse - they are fake, or already fulfilled, or repost from report from report from another job-hunting place.
Job listed serve a purpose : make it look like the business is blooming. It's literaly SEO and success-signaling.
I've seen the same job listing for a few years in a row, literaly 100% the same.
It also serves the gov that will blame people that can't get a job that there are "millions of jobs to be fulfilled".
Obviously, everything about the job market is fake, and bottom-line jobs will make you want to rip your head apart anyway.
There is no espace. We're already fighting for scraps.
haha this niggs forgot to settle down with a homely wife who cooks and cleans and gives you many children
Its my birthday (thirty three) , I want to get trashed in few hours.... don't know if it will happen , other than that Im sitting searching and creating problems in my head to be "blackpilled" again.
>creating problems in my head to be "blackpilled" again.
Ah, my favourite pastime
lost 2-3kgs while still on my perma bulk. its over.
Things are going really well actually, lifts are going well, losing fat and prob the leanest ive been in months. Nofap is going well too. I think im gonna make it bros
>hey where is the bar thread, I got some feels to share
>wait
>it's not friday
>mfw I forgot what day it is
>mfw for me it doesn't matter anymore what day it is
I really need a job
haha yes become a wage slave! pay taxes! civic duty! contribute to society!
>moving in half a year
>lost my job
>been applying for jobs daily for nearly a month
>nothing
was feeling pretty good because I'm keen to move but the job hunting is starting to wear me down
I will never kms as long as mom is still around, after that no promises!
I want to die so I'm doing as well as I usually do.
The norwood reaper got me bros. It's over.
I swear it's the creatine
I am not strong enough, and the limitations of my body are fricking torturing me. I am so fricking frustrated that I can only do seven fricking push-ups in a set, that I'm only losing a pound and a half a week, that I'm seeing no visible or functional results after two weeks of work with a bodyweight program. I am trying very hard to stay positive and pace myself, but jesus christ I am losing hope in my ability to improve.
Being this dramatic after only two weeks..kek
Oh dude, believe me, I know it's irrational. This is the first time in my life that I'm seriously working out, so I know I just need to keep with it. It's just difficult at times.
>I can only do seven fricking push-ups in a set, that I'm only losing a pound and a half a week
If you weigh 200-300 pounds and you can do 7 push-ups, you'll be able to do so many more when you weigh a third or half less.
YGMI , just be patient and persistent
good my only problem is that my ex gf is back in town and she is sending me emails to meet and its tempting tbh. thoughts?
if it didnt work before it wont work now
smash
>verification not required
its just all so tiresome bro's. i don't see the point in doing anything anymore.
dude, this is how the pandemic has me feeling. I feel like pretty much any long term plans are a waste because who knows whats about to blow up.
What pandemic homosexual
get a promotion, get skills, get money, get b***hes, get a manageable property in the countryside, get the tools and knowledge required to thrive without the indirect support of society, that's your plan for when the arse falls out of the world again.
when covid happened I lost my job and moved in with my grandmother, I turned her yard into an allotment and we planted potatoes, tomatoes, cabbages, lettuces, leeks, onions, garlic, and chillies. we ate what we grew and sold the rest and replanted. I bought a chainsaw and worked cash in hand taking care of yards for people who didn't know how to. I washed my arse in the shower and put a brick in the cistern to keep our costs down when every moron was pushing the water bills up buying jacuzzis. I fixed my glow plugs, fuel temperature probe, and turbo by watching YouTube. I installed 4G WiFi in my gran's house and finished university studying online.
when the world breaks down everything that should be working stops working. if you can fix those things for yourself then you'll be fine and the world has only gone wrong for other people.
Same
Honestly I don't have any reason to keep on living
Loneliness is a b***h
I stopped consuming angloid media, never felt better.
im gonna be a fricking sexy stud and making 200k/yr and make her regret not having faith in me.
yes im a petty piece of shit
based, I started improving just to make my hot ex who was out of my league jealous, and it's honestly working better than anything else I've tried
I am dealing with some withdrawal symptoms from quitting some psych meds, but doing surprisingly well under these conditions.
I think I'll make it just fine. Just need some time to get things right. God forgive me.
>currently cutting
In pretty stressful situation rn looking for a job, but not wanting one. Most my problems would be solve with money as I'm pretty used to solitude and can find solace in it, but I need to have money, and unfortunately I don't live in a country that would provide me gibs for faking mental illness
I live in a 8 room house. I have 2x cars that I love to look at. I have a wife that cares about me and my well being. Have a 3 yr old kid and a new kid on the way. No financial issues and work from home 4 days per week where I just relax.
I was looking at my chain saw today and was wondering how it would feel like to saw my leg off and if I would survive the blood loss.
>have everything you've ever wanted
>it's still not enough
it's the most cursed feel
Contemplating suicide but I can’t because my parents would be sad and my siblings are all useless frickups. I just wanna finish uni, get a job, move out and either start a family or rope. Whichever comes first!
yea at this point if I don't make it just put a bullet in my head
my daughter was born a few days ago, but both her and my wife are still in hospital due to complications
really fricking sucks that they're not home yet, going a bit crazy driving back and forth
she looks exactly like me
If your wife looks exactly like you, that's incest
Stay strong for your family!
It may sound cringe on the internet, but I will pray for you tonight.
Grats man...
Kids are a blessing. Hope everything works out for you.
Still standing bros
It's been a really fricking long year, and it's gonna keep being difficult until at least October. I'm not giving up though, hopefully I've worked myself to a much better position in Spring
The hardest part is having noone to share it with
Start forcing people to interact with you I’ve been sitting around the bus stop talking to whoever’s there until they get on I just never get on and go home eventually
middle management is trying to set me up with some new hire
that's a new one
Going to turn my life around this semester at uni, i just need to focus up and stick to my goals. it's over summer just ended and we're so back fall starts now.
My girlfriend is going to end it, I can feel it
I love her so much bros I dont know what I will do without her
End it first, it WILL suck, but it's worth it, trust me
>only do this if you are absolutely sure
good luck lil bro, i know your pain all too well. except in my case im the one who ended it, but i felt she didn't love me anymore. truth is she shouldve ended long before i did.
Don't grovel but show her your passion. This works for my wife: Grab her, hug her tight, kiss her passionately, then walk away. Don't act like you are doing it in an attempt to get laid. Unleash passion on her face and body, just enough to show her your physical attraction is stronger than ever, then walk away. Do nice shit for her. If she says thank you, don't respond. It's implied. Walk off, go back to your own thing. Don't act like she is your whole world even if she is. Idk what it is but women love intense passionate love without you hoping for a crumb of sex. Works in my case at least. Women love simps until you are in a relationship. Then they want a man
thank you anon
dump her first, it will drive her crazy
accurate
>falling in love with a woman instead of looking at her as the mother of your children
you done fricked up good
rite of passage man, everyone's "serious" "i'm so in love" relationship most likely ends with you going to the lowest low you've ever been in
not without its upsides though, those following weeks are when you realize that women don't and can't love at all and your perspective on the whole dynamic changes for the better and becomes healthier
It's what lets you grow up and realize that part of being an adult involves loss and being on your fricking own.
Those kind of relationships are, generally, good. While you're in them you gain experience, learn to utilize and practice empathy and you experience a variety of feelings you probably were not exposed to prior to dating.
In the same vein, the lowest low you will inevitably reach help cultivate emotional maturity, personal identity and all that homosexual shit.
They're good for self growth. That's the only thing one should ever really expect out of a relationship truly.
yeah, real
that said, your first love ending not on your terms will probably leave you somewhat fricked up for good, whether for better or for worse, i genuinely have not seen women the same way since
Yeah I was pretty fricked up after my first serious relationship ended. Just ended up having one night stands and did a frick ton of psychedelics for a year. Had a bit of a male manipulator arc. Granted, I ended the relationship somewhat on my own terms by cheating so not the exact same.
I think that in the end, you come out a better person for it. After that relationship and recovering, I view women differently sure, but I mostly just view them as other people. My standards are far higher now.
>My standards are far higher now.
That's my conclusion as well. My "seriously in love" relationship ended this past year, and I ended it. Ending it took a lot of guts because I've always been kind of a simp and I'm still learning to get past that.
summarizes the experience perfectly.
Regarding high standards, I feel as if mine are incredibly high for another serious relationship. I would need her to have a good heart, family, positive mental attitude, and communication. Not to mention she better make money similar to me, or at least not be in crippling debt.
In the meantime I will be progressing to ottermode and exploiting other women for casual sex who don't meet the criteria. I grew up very naive and sheltered so I think it's important to meet with more women.
True. Though I think you have to experience the "love of my life" relationship first to better understand this dynamic. I once was this guy that was so in love.
yeah nah, it's something you have to go through yourself unfortunately
my relationship was something out of a fricking fantasy book it was so magical, up until the point where it just ended almost in the span of a week
i haven't involved myself in the degrading self-humiliation ritual of trying to woo women as if they're worth the effort since, my standards are paradoxically much higher despite me not initiating the breakup and the biggest takeaway is that for some reason i'm more at peace being alone - probably because the mystical nature of a woman is gone and you get to observe their true nature. women simply do not experience love like men do and this one fricking stings to realize, 'tis the truth
all relationships end in death or failure. steel yourself for either, then enjoy what lovely time yall have left. congratulations on love.
On the one hand I quit my NEET ways, on the other I'm nearing 30 and a decade behind in life.
>30 yo
>married 3 years
>quit job, want to open my own place
>stressful af but I have lots of savings
>it's hard and slow but making progress
>still stressed
>wife pushes me to open up
>always bottle up my emotions
>men shouldn't show weakness sort of stuff
>I don't cave in
>she keeps pressing telling me it's ok
>open up
>she asks for divorce
never again I'll be in a relationship bros
now I'm gonna fully focus on work, get in the best shape of my life and make her regret
still wanna kms every night
>open up
>she asks for divorce
kek classic move.
Sexhavers unironically getting fricked ova here
What did you say lol?
>What did you say lol?
nothing can be said
>What was her reasoning?
no fricking idea
>Am I getting that right?
nah, she wanted me to open up emotionally
And I fricking knew at the first sign of weakness any woman will drop you. I'm fricking stupid. I caved in once in 7 years holy shit.
Never talk about your struggles with women
Black person what the frick did you say you dumb homosexual. We will all just assume you came out as a MtF Pre-op troony and your wife left you.
whatever turns you on man idc
you can't even answer a simple question, no wonder she dumped your ass lol
yeah that was exactly the reason
What was her reasoning?
>anon please just open up, you can trust me
>I wanna frick guys
>she asks for divorce
Am I getting that right?
Just go frick twinks
>not as emotional as women
>literally down to just frick and that's it
>lil freaks in bed
Just don't go for any that id as trans or you'll get the same shit you'd get with a woman but with the aggressiveness of a man.
>She is NOT your friend
At least learned your lesson homosexual. But God damn took you long enough.
Since I got dental work done I've felt so much better about myself and my self image that I'm doing pretty good. Can't wait to go to church on Sunday. Can't wait to work out later today.
I'm feeling good bros.
I'm holding up well.
About 1.5 hours until I head to the gym. Sunburnt from work (capenter), cats asleep in my lap, sons my lifting partner and he's taking a nap.
Honestly nothing I could really complain about. I drink one energy drink a day, and its calling to me but I gotta hold out a bit longer.
I think the most recent girl to frick me over completely broke my libido. I've been getting fricked around with and abused by women for about three years since breaking up with my abusive ex girlfriend, but this last girls seemed like she was gonna be different than that. I can't describe the amount of hope I had in her. She was a legit 9/10, used to be 10/10 but now 29 and showing some aging. Romantic and fun, low maintenance.
Then all of a sudden she just completely flipped and turned on me, became a nightmare and I had to cut her loose, and now, I just can't be arsed anymore. I don't know how to describe it. I see more hot girls and I just feel nothing. I look at them and just think they're going to turn out how every other of the dozens of girls I've gotten involved with turn out. Even ones who start off seeming sweet and nice turn fricking insane, and it just damages me to the point where now I experience a girl acting nice and I just wait for the other shoe to drop.
All of this has amounted to me basically only getting boners in the morning when I wake up, but through the day I'm mentally not there. I just don't ever feel turned on, no random boners popping up. I used to get a boner just texting a girl, but now texting anyone my brain just associates it with pain.
I know that depression and mentality have a lot to do with libido, but this feels like I'll never come back.
>Romantic and fun, low maintenance.
>Then all of a sudden she just completely flipped and turned on me
wtf is wrong with women. they can't keep getting away with this shit. from my own experience you were probably overlooking some red flags. sorry bro.
Nah, I often ignore red flags but this girl was especially special because for the first time she seemed like someone who was actually really great and everything felt so natural from the start and all the usual shit girls pull she did not pull. She was always there and dependable, never had to chase her to get her attention, and she seemed head over heels for me. Then she completely 180'd because I didn't send her any good morning texts for three days after our second date.
It's not the first time it's happened either. If girls can go from acting in love with you to just lying then disappearing so easy, I just can't anymore. I kept thinking the next one would be different and not like that, but they always do.
One of my friends said he never dates girls over 8/10 and that's my problem, but frankly if I have to go so doomerpilled that I believe any attractive female is going to be impossible and insane then I might as well just not even bother.
If you ever meet a good girl it'll probably come back. The hardware is all still there, it's your software that's down. Before this experience I felt pretty much the same, then met her and suddenly was getting random boners just being around her again, but now I've got no reason to be turned on so the libido is just gone again.
Only thing that kinda gets me hard is treating women like objects and being, what feels to me anyways, like a monster. Like frick their feelings, frick their background, I'm filled with such bitterness and hatred I'm going to frick you and punch the back of your head because frick you. I'm not treating you like a human being so I don't get hurt. I want to hurt you. Funnily enough there's a part of me that thinks this is probably the best bet considering how many women, ESPECIALLY older women, there are into BDSM now.
I think we have the same problem. I once lost a boner with some girl who was not really up to my usual standards, but then when she let me choke her near unconscious my bone came back diamonds and I finished fricking the shit out of her. Only time that's happened to me so far.
Unfortunately, girls who are into that stuff are also insanely broken and unstable and you can't really make a relationship out of them. Can't speak to older women because I've only actually ever fricked girls 18-21 but a lot of girls in that age group are also into BDSM, choking, spanking, slapping, etc.
>ever fricked girls 18-21
Dont tell me you got your heart and dick broke by an 18-21yo and you're in your mid 20s.
Fricking Christ this is me. It has been a month and nothing turns me on any more.
I don't know if I'm paranoid but I'm 50% sure a girl I like and slept with is going to meet up with my brother tomorrow...
Horribe
Fell in love with a girl, told her, she said she dont have the same feelings for me and only sees me as a good friend.
Picked up the habit of drinking again after almost a year of being sober, 6-8 shots of vodka/evening.
She made me feel good and not have myself for the first time in years and now I feel worse than ever.
Chapta: SAKZ 4u
I'm sorry anon, we've all been there
My goldfish is probably dying. It has another case of cotton mouth and it hasn't even recovered from its last case of fin rot.
I'm sorry anon hopefully it all works out in the end
>men crying about women the thread
lmao. Pussies.
Women are the only problem men have in this world.
That's not fricking true, israelite.
I wish women were the only problem in my life
I've been having pain in both of my sides recently and I don't know whats the cause of it. Had a sharp pain on my right side and went to the ER and they found nothing wrong so I'm at a loss here
Are your sides in orbit by chance?
bad
i been kinda sad these past few days. i feel like i should be on my shit you know? but i’m not. and tbh i’m far from it. gay post over.
>turned 30 this year
>hairline receding
>waistline increasing
>seeing signs of aging in my face
>still single
>have a good career, but not a great career
>all my friends married/in relationships
>have no prospects for women
Feels bad man, like the clock is ticking.
Same on most of these items. Any chance you friends can set you up with friends of their partners? That’s how I get by.
>be 23 yo virgin, moderately depressed and passing through life
>have always felt lonely and conscious of my lack of female affection
>witness a man jump off my building's roof while I try to stop him
>the joking thoughts of killing myself now have a grain of truth to them
>think of suicide semi-ironically almost every day
>decide to finally cave in and ask my doc for antidepressants to numb the unhappiness
>feel more numb but at least I don't feel so self conscious anymore
>no longer feel the urge to lift or keep my diet in check, to jerk off, even to meet women anymore
>somehow suddenly manage to meet a girl
>she likes me a lot
>leads to sex
>I can't cum
>can't even stay hard
>pretend to orgasm and go to sleep
>girl is now my gf and she likes me a lot
>I don't care much for her at all
I am no longer a virgin, I have a gf, but I don't really care. I cut the antidepressant dose too, but more or less I feel the same way. It feels strange that I achieved this goal of having the affection that I craved yet I don't care for it anymore. For instance, I dreamt many years of having a girl call me handsome, admire my physique, and find me funny which she does. Honestly, I think the fact that I don't care for it is what she finds attractive. It's all so tiresome and contradictory. At the same time I also managed to achieve my long term fitness goals after 8 years of lifting and now the idea of self improvement appeals less and less. Any of you guys here have thoughts on this or simliar experiences?
thats actually insane lol
SSRIs to get a gf is it legit bros?
They made me less self conscious which in turn made my interactions with people a little more positive. At the same time, I am still the same socially moronic person so getting a gf was still a huge coincidence - I don't think ssri's will fix this. For instance the end of our first date she went in for the kiss but I wasn't feeling it so I just said "Sorry I'm really autistic" and gave her a hi-five instead before saying goodnight
I matched with her on tinder and ironically the same day I saw her in my apartment building so I hit her up about it
im self conscious too. One time when there was a "kiss" vibe going on between me and a girl, i know because we were so close by i had my hand against the wall and we just had pure eye contact and smiling at each other. What was going through my mind at that moment was basically "Oh god I think shes looking at my nose and she's disgusted by me" so I never took action.
I need to somehow become less self conscious
I feel the same way. I needed a decent amount of alcohol to break the first kiss barrier when we were in my apartment. The other night she tried grabbing my dick and I felt ashamed because my penis is skinny and she would laugh at me or think I’m weird. She didnt seem to care and I had to convince myself that it’s ok to feel good sometimes. Maybe exposure is the solution idk.
>Become the rage
I think I understand what you are talking about anon. I used this rage to fuel my workouts for many years (ages 16-22) before I realized that they weren’t getting me anywhere with women which made me very jaded to said anger. Could you elaborate how you were able to open your heart again? I’m curious
>For instance the end of our first date she went in for the kiss but I wasn't feeling it so I just said "Sorry I'm really autistic" and gave her a hi-five instead before saying goodnight
based levels off the charts, and you even fricked her after it kek
>For instance the end of our first date she went in for the kiss but I wasn't feeling it so I just said "Sorry I'm really autistic" and gave her a hi-five instead before saying goodnight
Amazing , speechless...
How'd you meet?
>be 23 yo
>decide to finally cave in and ask my doc for antidepressants to numb the unhappiness
The long lack of female affection has simply numbed you to emotions.Work on your micro traumata, pills only shadow your problems (unironically).You will have to learn to open your heart again.
Become the rage
Become the ugly
Become the monster
Become the forgiving
Become the savior
Become the angel
was in the same spot sometime ago, it's possible
What? How do you work on that trauma?
it's different for every1 ofc, but for most dudes its just working. Seeing improv in something you put effort into is really rewarding. + tbh I kinda smell depression adhd in your posts, flexing for not caring about your gf etc.
>reading comprehension
the anon in his posts literally says he is becoming indifferent to self improvement after doing it
>Become the rage
>Become the ugly
>Become the monster
>Become the forgiving
>Become the savior
>Become the angel
Umm that's kinda cringe bro
>I am no longer a virgin, I have a gf
No, now you're a fornicator running with the devil on the highway to hell.
Jesus never said "come as you are", he said "repent or perish" (Luke 13:3,5) and "go and sin no more" (John 8:11).
stop taking the SSRIs immediately if you value yourself in anyway
You're looking for something greater anon? I personally think it's peace.
don't quit SSRIs cold turkey they can have massive side effects that last for years. brain zaps, dulled emotions, bizarre emotional responses, seizures, etc. wind the dose down slowly. I did that and ten years later my brain is still only getting close to normal.
don't worry about not feeling any particular attachment to your gf, that'll pass. men and women feel emotions very differently especially when depression and SSRIs are involved. our emotions are far stronger but less frequent, however when they do happen they're more intense. your gf might feel warm and bubbly love when she's with you but you don't and that's fine, but you'll definitely feel something if she's gone from your life.
female emotions use the presence of something as a stimulus, they're strongly attached to something that is there
male emotions use the absence of something as the stimulus, we're strongly attached to something that isn't there. our emotions are far more abstract than the feel good chemical soup that fills women's brains constantly.
emotions exist to guide us through problems and solutions, and a lot of men find that they don't feel emotions strongly but that's because they don't need chemicals to tell them what to do in the day to day management of their lives. it's a sick joke of modern society that you're expected to always have a strong emotional response to the most mundane shit, but that's how women process the world. answering "how does that make you feel?" with "nothing" isn't abnormal at all, and you don't have to feel strongly about something that isn't on your emotional radar because you as a man don't need emotions to guide you through most situation.
i quit cold turkey and i'm fine, sometimes i wonder if i should be more excited when i pr but gym is such routine now that i'm not surprised by that.
sucks it effed you up though
SSRIs made me less self conscious as well, and it removed most of my anxiety, but as a result I realized everything I did was moved by anxiety
>if I order food I will break my diet and get fat and waste money
>if I don't lift today I will get flabby
>if I don't sleep enough hours I will be too tired to work next day
>if I don't put in the effort I won't get the tasks of the week done (WFH)
All of those worries gone, but in the bright side, now I have to do things out of discipline, so it's actually good. Still a virgin at 26 though.
Had a stomach ache, chills, and 100.3 fever overnight, I don't know what happened.
>100
Fahrenheit or Celsius?
Fahrenheit
>100C fever
I'm not
Had a rough afternoon, I was eating some ground beef and rice, and I thought to myself I'd really like some cheese with it. I almost did it, but then I thought of the Rebbe and his teachings, so I stopped myself. Read some Psalms afterwards, life trully is blessed.
Christcucks are absolutely insane
I grew up in a church. They are a perfect example of the dunning kruger effect
I am okay. Mentally speaking I’m doing way better than I have in years.
However that’s just the start. I’ve stood up in the hole I’ve been stuck in now it’s time for me to start climbing out of it.
Today I started applying to an apprenticeship but will have to wait on highschool transcripts to arrive in a week to turn it in. If I pass the aptitude test and get accepted I will begin working on January which is a big step for me. I’ll be able to recover my financial situation in about 1 year and finally leave the nest.
Aside from that I need to get my physical health in order. It’s a matter of consistency as I know what to do. I’ve done this in the past before falling into this hole and reverting back to my former 17 year old self. Get my diet in order, go on walks every day, cardio once a week, lift 2-3 times per week. And that’s it the fat will melt, I’ll muscle memory the lost gains back, 6 months to be down to na out 230lbs 6’2”, about 12 months to be in the teen body fat %’s, about 1.5 years to look actually good again and have my gains while being shredded probably would be about 195lbs @ 10%. Time frame doesn’t matter though and I’m mostly concreted with the fat. I just have to make that my lifestyle and not think about it, be consistent and before I know it I’ll look and feel 1000x better.
My ex texted me last Friday then told me to please ignore it immediately. I texted her back yesterday saying I hope she’s doing well and she said
>okay you too.
And I felt nothing. So that’s a good sign. I’m not sure why I’m mentioning this, I guess I’m proud that I’ve moved on. I was hesitant to text her back because I thought it would make me sad. But it didn’t. In the future I won’t even respond.
Also I really like what I did at the top “I’ve stood up in this hole I’ve been stuck in and now it’s time I start to climb out of it” I’m proud of that. Sure it’s been said before but I like it.
Just waiting to lift YEAHHHH is it 4 am yet or WHAT
still at the bottom of the abyss. i hit 26 today and I miss my gf. I dread the day I become older than she was
not good, not bad. same as the last several years.
im 36yo and all my life i was obese. And it fricked me. Very much.
Today i started the extended fasting with carnivore refeeds.
This one has to work.. right?
we believe in u anon! we will be watching, so don't let us down, you hear me?
WAGMI anon kun
Extreme diets tend not to work as you'll go back to your old habits once you get tired of it.
It's been years since I do OMAD. I lost a lot of weight, but then it stopped.
Or you could just eat a normal calorie restricted diet and not frick yourself more.
Getting stronger than I ever have been before. Reaching new heights, physically, mentally, spiritually. Feeling in my lane, I have a purpose and a task, and each day I make progress towards it.
God and family first of all. Prayer, scripture study, loving deeds. Taking care of my home, building a future for a family. Then, community, contributing to my community and helping to uplift my neighbors. Next, my nation, overthrowing the corrupt government and bringing freedom and justice to my people. Then, the entire human race, settling conflicts between peoples and uplifting humanity towards a better future.
This is the plan for the immediate future. I have longer term goals, but I play my cards close to my chest. Overthrowing the corrupt government, bringing freedom and justice to my people, that is the beginning. Peace and prosperity for my nation, ending the injustice, apartheid, and genocide in the Holy Land as well. I care about the Hebrew people, as well as Christians and Muslims. A utopia is a satirical concept, but things could be a lot better.
Ended up Squating with impeccable form today. Felt like a god.
hanging in there.
I had a nasty svt last Sunday that landed me in the ER and I still have't recovered.
going bald young (24 now) genuinely ruined my life, it's given me constant existential dread of feeling like I'm running out of time, I don't have that much else going for me I'm not tall or handsome or whatever so I feel the clock fricking ticking and it's making me miserable and stressed.
other than that I'm pretty apathetic about everything, which is concerning me a bit. I just feel nothing; knowing that all I will realistically amount to in life is making someone else money just fills me with spite but I'm so worn down I can't feel any anger just constantly numb. the few experiences I've had with women romantically have all been incredibly negative, I got laid for the first time in 4 years a few weeks ago and I couldn't even get it up, my self-loathing is so strong and I'm now so nervous about that happening to me again that I can't see myself ever having a good relationship with women in my lifetime, I think about killing myself most days tbqh.
thanks 4 listening to me blog bros
>constant existential dread of feeling like I'm running out of time
Same, balding, it sucks. I won the genetic lottery in a lot of ways but this one is a killer. Only worse genetic curses a man can get are manletism or dickletism.
Daytime is good
But the nights are just miserable, it's like after 7pm I want to kill myself. I literally go to sleep at 8 - 9 pm because I don't want to feel
Constant thoughts of suicide but I ate a potato today so pretty good actually.
I posted about it last week but I tore my pec benching 360 like a tard last Tuesday. Got surgery on Friday and now I'm recovering. Surprisingly, the pain isn't bad at all. I don't need any kind of pain killers any more and I'm already getting range of motion back. Long road of recovery ahead, which is fricking annoying.
Was supposed to fly out to see this girl that I like, but I had to cancel that so I'm just lonely and recovering at the moment. I'm good. Feeling blessed that I didn't fricking die and that I have insurance to cover costs.
Alcoholic here .I haven't gotten blackout drunk in a month or so, which is very big progress for me. I fantasize about drinking myself to oblivion often. Like how people dream about starting a Vineyard, or an pet orphanage.
I want to save up enough money to move out to a cheap city alone and just get shitfaced every day.
Not so great. Something broke in my mind yesterday, and I think I'm done trying to get women. I've been miserable the past idk how many years trying to make something work, and it's not working. Too ugly for frequent random hookups, very shitty personality for a relationship, and I'm extremely socially isolated and I have zero friends around me here. I hate that I had to leave my country, but whatever. It used to motivate me that when I have kids, they'll have a good future, not start out as poor as I did, not be brought up in a shit environment, grow up with some fricking stability and less mental illness. I don't know what motivates me to keep working hard now away from everyone I love.
Sorry for the gay blogpost. I just need to let this off my chest.
I'm not doing great.
My family are unsuccessful, dysfunctional, and delusional. They're a drain on me. And to add to that, I have no idea what career path to pursue. I burnt out in other fields. I'm disciplined, motivated, and all that gay shit but I'm stuck against a wall.
I have talent in things that are hard to commodify, some odd jobs, and what I was in before. I've thought about starting a snow blowing business this winter but I don't fricking know man.
The stress is getting to me.
I'm 31 and have accomplished literally zero in my life. I'm despondent about my life but I still do nothing to improve because I don't see a point when I've missed on everything. Socially, financially, career, life steps, I've accomplished absolutely zero. I realized that I've literally never had ambition or taken initiative to accomplish a single task in my entire life. If it wasn't already laid out for me or given to me, I did nothing and do nothing to seek out better development. My useless pathetic job is a big thing that makes me feel the most useless and pathetic and I would like to just drop it and leave, but I know that if I do, I'll likely never have another job again
I'm miserable from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open all day because of how miserable I am and how utterly useless I feel.
I don't even have the motivation required to commit suicide because it would require me taking the initiative to do it. Instead I just hope that something happens to me, like getting stage 4 cancer or a car hits me or person randomly pulls out a gun and blows my head off.
Same. I am 25 and have never kissed a girl or had a job. I just curl into a ball on my bed and lay there for hours waiting for time to pass.
Honestly, it depends on the day. Maybe I'm manic depressive. One day I'm on top of the world, have a wife that loves me, two daughters to bring up as best I can, own my home, have a job and comfortable amount of money.... Other days I'm barely getting by, ISTness isn't progressing like I'd like, I feel like my wife doesn't love me like she used to, I'm fricking up raising my kids, I'm not living up to my potential, I'm flirting with alcoholism, etc.
>inb4 talk to psychiatrist
First off, I don't have the time. Second, I don't need some pharmajewtical pills fricking up my brain.
Happens to ever guy who has kids.
Once your wife gives birth, they become her priority, not you.
Brain deficiency
Raw eggs lechitin
Not great honestly, not great at all. However, I am lucky that I have a decent friend group, I know a lot of guys that don't so I should consider myself lucky.
Simultaneously better and worse.
I’m either going to make it in the next 1-2 months or crash and burn.
The concept of having even a basic life is outside my realm of comprehension. Having friends, having a relationship, having a fulfilling career, wanting to own a house, have kids, I literally cannot even fathom having these things.
Slowly developing skills
It's time to use them though...
Mom died 4 months ago from Cancer (she was 59)
family business in shambles
family broken essentially
hoping to start a family in 3 years, but I live in the people's republic of Canada so cant afford too
At least I am more jacked than Ive ever been
>family business in shambles
>family broken essentially
Dont listen to anyone who tells you "it gets better with time"
It doesnt, you just learn to cope with your objectively shittier life after a close loved one dies.
Death is common, everyone else learns to cope, you dont really have a choice and will eventually learn too.
The question is, are you going to let the family business go down in shambles or let your government frick over your chance at having a family?
You have it in you to lift, you absolutely have it in you to cope and persevere.
STEP THE FRICK UP FOR THE FAMILY BUSINESS YOURE NOT EVEN IN A BAD SPOT
im aight. just feel like im on a treadmill in life right now. work/come home/take care of baby/try (and fail) to get personal projects done or other learning/do errands and other adult bs. same shit, doing everything right but dont feel like my family is going anywhere. savings isn't building as fast as i would like it, still in a fricking apartment and a house seems less and less possible with each year. updated my resume and started browsing for something new but i just dont want to do anything. no job interests me, id rather just go provide my own services and pave my own way but cold approaching and committing work to a business or person gives me anxiety that im not powering through. idk, just feeling kinda cowardly lately. that i know i can do XYZ and be successful and improve the situation for myself and my family but just lacking the courage to even step in that direction.
Can't complain.
My only friend just moved to the other side of the country, I got fired from my job 4 months ago, and I haven't lifted properly in months. I'm going back at it tomorrow.
I'm gonna make it bros, no matter how hard it gets. WAGMI
met a good young woman
1/1000 kind of gal
modest clothes don’t hug body and beautiful without makeup
naturally pale white skin and has a light healthy tan from going on picnics every week with her family (I find that more attractive than pale white)
wears beautiful arabian traditional clothes and light makeup when I visit her and her family
she loves me a lot and I would never admit it until maybe after we’re married or special circumstances but I love her too
her family not only approves of me but they like me and are proud of me for my achievements and career
they pray together daily about on par with me and my family
we’re the same religion
by chance I used to coach her niece and younger sister for elementary school sports (that’s actually how I met her)
her whole family even extended family is fit (except her dad is a bit chunky but he works construction until he finishes his program [they’re new to Canada] and is only like 40 lbs overweight, classic dad bod)
they appreciate the fact that I’m really fit
she’s super family oriented
my sister is 1 year older than her, and loves her and openly tells me she wishes she’d had a sister around her age all the time, so i imagine they’d be great friends. I ran a social media background check and she doesn’t post pictures of herself just emotionally positive stuff and pictures of her grandparents holding her and her siblings as babies.
my whole family approves of her
she passes my mom’s manners and beauty standards
my mom wants me to cut all connection with her family my — mom feels her mom complains a lot and her mom has brick red skin, which is a bit darker than my mom’s beauty standards
she wants me to meet her new friend’s daughter
how can i proceed in a way that honors my mother— I’m more than happy to just say get over these complaints you have and proceed, but is there a way to get her on board? (Also, could my mom be right?)
How does a woman having brick red skin not passing your mothers standard of beauty mean you’d have to cut all contact? Is this some deep cultural issue? That sounds weird. What religion?
How'd you meet?
I took my little brothers to the park
her family was at the park
and her younger sister and niece wanted to come by and say hello because they know me from when I used to coach them
then she came by to check up on them and we talked for a bit and then I mustered the courage to go up to their family and get parental blessing and a phone number for both and got invited to join their picnic with my little brothers, which was very nice and enjoyable
both families are muslim
>cultural weirdness
yep, some pale skinned syrians (and I’m sure a lot of other groups, Africans and asians buying skin lighteners, 1488 and all that jazz) take a skin color thing a bit too deep. the girl herself looks nothing like her mom so she passes my moms beauty standards, and frankly her mom looks very healthy for her age and is not ugly at all, but My mom’s so pale she’s been mistaken for a nun multiple times while working at the hospital and she’s pretty convinced that because her mom is like a lighter brick red tone that the kids would be darker (like a heavy tan) which 1. I wouldn’t care if my kid is a bit tan, as long as it’s my kid, being tan isn’t a pro or con, 2. That’s not how biology works, it’s very rare for two people to have a kid is noticeably darker or lighter than an average of the two people.
local imam told me her skin tone complaints are not a valid criticism and religiously I have no obligation to honour them but I do have to honor her and show kindness as much as possible so idk
is the skin stuff just a beauty preference or is it bordering on actually thinking certain people are truly beneath others on a deeper level? hearing non-whites or at least those that aren’t euro-white treat skin colour that’s way is bizarre since by their rules they would be beneath even me.
yes and no, for example a Greek can view all Greeks as superior to anglos, but also view fairer Greeks to be superior to more tanned Greeks
however they may put anglos above Sudanese folk by skin color
for this skin tone dynamic some people are obsessed with it, and other people are barely conscious it exists and only notice when someone brings it up— kind of like height
put kids in her. im jelly, anon bismillah
>Couldn't get hard with this new girl I'm seeing
>even with a pill
I think my head is messed up from years of being alone/porn. With my ex, it took me around 3-4 encounters to become comfortable too
How old are you?
Mental shit can absolutely frick your libido for real. I didn't believe it until recently when I just became mentally broken.
42
32
JUST
Lost my testicle due to torsion despite going to ER an hour after the pain started. How fricked am I?
started jogging today, hoping it helps my mental health
I don't know anon.
I'm going back to college after realizing the army wasn't for me, I'm starting to see actual visible gains, working on improving my mind and getting back into hobbies (bass, skating ,etc)
But frick you know, it's like there's something missing? Maybe it's just because I'm 20, but even after smoking DMT and having my whole existential crisis solved, I still don't know what the frick I want to do with my life?
Then again, everything isn't great. I'm leading a girl on that I'm not exactly all that interested in, but frick it, sex is sex. Smoking way too much weed as of late.
Depressed and lonely. Lifts are getting back up to previous levels, tho. Would help if all the new PED monkeys would stay out of the gym long enough in this post COVID world for me to actually use gum equipment. You don't need to fricking deadlift at max, for 4 sets, 6 days a fricking week. How is your spine not popcorn you rich daddy's boy, generational wealth exploiting PED abuser?? At least the fricker nearly got kicked out, for bringing his party speaker in, again.
Quite possibly worst time of my life.
After breaking up with gf that I had for 10years, i had to move back with my parents to the others side of their country.
Here I am totally alone. No friends, no job. No nothing.
I'm not used to being dependent on them, and want to escape, but the job market here is atrocious.
I've been thinking all night about suicide, how to do it, when to do it, writing a suicide letter.
Things will get better. Just stick it out. You'll look back and be glad you did
Problem is, this isn't the first time i battle with it.
Last year, even while having gf, i promised myself I would suicide by December, if things didn't change.
And in December, things did change. We moved from a place we hated, to a much better place, a much much better house.
Only to stay there for 3 months, and see all that progress negated, and be thrown in a deeper pit of Despair, without what I considered my wife, without friends, and without freedom.
Having to rebuild everything, and I mean everything, from nothing.
You see anon, I think I have a logical mind. When I ask myself "what will suicide accomplish?"
Something on there replies "everything. The release of a life not worth living".
And I have no argument against that.
It is that grim.
The fitter I get the more hateful and detached from other people I become. Is this normal?
I hate bong dentistry.
my teeth are utterly fricked for various reasons (mostly from drinking 2 litres of doctor pepper a day and never cleaning my teeth as a kid) and I've been flossing, mouthwashing, and brushing daily for months and quit smoking 2 months ago, but there's a lot of staining and the right side of my lower jaw has swollen up around the teeth and the gums are climbing up my premolars. I paid the dentist £80 to check it out cos y'know cancer from smoking 40 a day for a decade, and also book a deep scrub to get rid of the baccy stains. I'm also getting constant ulcers which I'm convinced is an allergic reaction to an ingredient in one of the dental products I use. My gums don't hurt even when I poke at them but they bleed like a b***h.
The dentist said that the swelling is nothing to be concerned about and it will go away on its own, the ulcers can't be caused by an allergic reaction because the only ingredient I could be allergic to is sodium laureth sulfate and it can't be that because I don't get a burning sensation when I use it, and I can't book a deep clean until the swelling has gone down.
I really feel like she's fobbing me off and am already calling other dentists for a second opinion, and have replaced my oral products with SLS free ones. If anons have any other advice please let me know.
It's bad. Like really bad.
i dont know if i got autistically exposed or mired. this happened a week or so ago and im still thinking about it
>get home from work
>take off clothes
>work out
>shower
>put on post-shower clothes (random hawaiian shirt and pic related shorts, would never wear these in any other occasion, they are my post workout shower clothes)
>walk over to grocery store a block away
>always bring red college grocery bag
>buy w/e i felt like cooking for tonight
>return home, cook, and change into pajamas
>been doing this for at least 3 years
>...
>week ago
>buying some crap
>checkout clerk is a female
>bought some peanut butter filled pretzels
>she says
>"oh are these healthy? ive never tried them before"
>"huh?"
>"oh well youve lost so much weight, i assumed they were healthy, haha"
>finished bagging everything and scanned my card
>pick up all my bags (1 hand)
>make eye contact
>"yeah they have lots of protein"
>flex bicep
>her eyes grow wider
>walk away
should i find a new store or should i make small talk
neither
she’s kind and chubby and is a little self conscious about her weight
it’s been on her mind and she’s struggling to cope/deal with the issue and kinda knows pb pretzels aren’t healthy but is kind of hoping that somehow they might be healthy so she could enjoy the taste of junk food and still lose the weight that’s been weighing on her
why yes I did just finish the first episode of suits, how did you know?
P.S. if you’re interested, you’re interested— that’s the deciding factor if you should go for it
>pic related shorts
where do i get a pair
Terrible.
>date a girl from 19-24
>actually engaged 3.5 years in
>a few months later she gets cancer
>tried to fight it
>does around 1.5 years later
>spend forever grieving
>couldn't seem to get another relationship as meaningful
>go on a self destructive tear for year
>covid hits and I was isolated
>realized I was pushing people away and acting out in my anger and pain
>work on myself for two years
>eventually get a fantastic job, 6 figures after tax, move internationally
>place is hard to meet people but thought I met someone
>open, communicative, got along both emotionally and physically
>she had a traumatic past but was willing to talk about it
>promised me she wasn't planning to leave
>told me she wasn't going to leave
>said she liked everything about me
>leaves eventually anyways saying "I am too good to be true" and "I deserve someone better"
>basically the "it's not you it's me talk"
>been months again and I can't get myself to meet or talk to anyone because I still don't know what's wrong with me
>why did she leave?
>I was straight up told everything was going well and they left
>hard to trust people again
I'm 33 years old now, I'm IST, have a great job, it still doesn't seem enough. Want to throw myself out a fricking window.
>fricking window
these fetishes are getting out of control anon
also you’re 33, and that’s when my brother got married so I believe in you and you’re gonna be more than okay plus only occasional depression and existential crises just like normal healthy people experience from time to time okay? The thought of you worrying makes my big heart weep and shed tears so you keep your chin up and I wish you the best
Anon I'm sorry about your fiance, I can't imagine the feeling of loss and unfairness.
The complete degradation and loss of trust after is something I can relate to though. Since breaking up with my gf in 2020 I've spent three years experiencing nothing but lying, ghosting, and abuse from literally dozens of girls, trying to find one to trust. I've arrived at the point where I honestly am feeling disinterested in girls at all, my libido is crushed, and I see beautiful women and just feel nothing because of my experiences with them. I'm 30 as well.
But, you can't win if you don't play. I have a friend who checked out of women when he was only 20 or so because he got a girlfriend in uni, moved across the country to be with her, then she cheated on him. Since then, the last ten years, he hasn't bothered with women, hasn't even tried. Me, I've had similar shitty experiences but just kept trying, again and again, knowing the outcome was going to be bad but holding on that maybe I'd win the lottery somehow. Gotta just keep going. You really have no choice. If you want a happy, healthy future, you literally just have to keep doing the thing that hurts you until maybe one day it doesn't.
I just don't get the fricking lying. It's not that I know it doesn't happen, hell people tell little white lies and position themselves at shit like work.
But to do so to someone you apparently care/cared about?
Even when I was going through my self-destructive behaviour I never led anybody on. It was basically, I'm just interested in fricking and want nothing more, then I am going to frick off somewhere. And I view myself as a piece of shit during that time.
>lying
>ghosting
>abuse
Just frick people man. I need to keep doing the thing that hurts but I still miss my most recent ex as well. I also don't want to hurt anyone else, so I can't tell if I'm in some chicken and egg situation. Do I try to feel better first, or do I just say frick it and start throwing myself out there again.
Many people don't think of others as being human at all and therefor there is nothing wrong in lying to you. In particular, women, despite being thought of as empathetic and compassionate, by and large don't think of men as humans or consider that men have feelings. Men are disposable for women. Every even marginally attractive girl existing today in the first world has an absolutely infinite supply of men in the palm of their hand through social media and dating apps, and that makes any one of them about 1/10000th of the attention she's receiving that day. Eventually they see so many men's "Hey whatsup thought you were super cute and wanted to DM and..." messages that they all become the same and all run together.
Bottom line being, attractive women with empathy and who haven't been mindraped by being raised on social media since middle school are extremely rare. It is what it is.
>Do I try to feel better first, or do I just say frick it and start throwing myself out there again.
No point in wasting time out of your life waiting for some arbitrary day in the future you may feel better. Finding someone new and genuine may remedy what ails you.
the truth is you love can always walk out the door - you can't make them stay. I'd go as far to say that "promising to never leave" is a red flag.
I mean no offense but you're both part of the problem and the reason why you're experiencing what you are. The fact that men are still spiraling in the humiliation ritual of trying to court women when they completely dominate the sexual market and thus, being an addition on top of their pile of 200 other simps who are craving for her attention to feel validated is why they feel like it's not even morally wrong for them to treat you like you're disposable. Because you are. Because you chase relentlessly and have no standards. Just like the other 200 options that they have.
Oh well. This era fricking sucks, I am deeply disappointed to be here.
>you chase relentlessly and have no standards. Just like the other 200 options that they have.
That doesn't describe me at all though.
brother, unironically see a therapist. It sounds like you need to talk to someone who can help process this shit. If the woman i was going to marry died of cancer that young then I'd be devastated. It sounds like you're afraid of the people you love leaving you. Sending my condolences.
>pic related
It was literally that easy.
Right now, a lot of things look better than ever, but I still have to capitalize on my better situation. I guess this time now is even more important than the steps it took to get here, because I'm just starting to get on the right track, I'm not there yet. One thing that is helping me get better is that a good friend is also trying to "turn his life around". The problem now is that we are both at a point where we have made our first good decisions, but we haven't really put them into action yet. We're on the doorstep, but we haven't opened the door yet. I know it's wrong, but I also depend a lot on my mate, and I think I'm more capable of changing my life than he is. For clarity, in my case it was about drugs and money issues (no debt, just being perma broke), in his case alcoholism and also money issues. We both got clean and started a business together (I know, I know. There's no significant financial risk and we've done all the paper work), and everything was looking promising but then he had an accident, relapsed, and now we've put everything on hold for the past 2 or 3 weeks. When I get in touch with him he always assures me that he's getting back to work asap. I guess I might need a plan b (e.g. a job).
awful. every time I get into decent fitness through a strict regimine, it only ends up lasting 3-4 months maximum before something shit happens in my life that requires my full attention for a few weeks, and breaks the habit. then it takes me another 3-4 months of backsliding until things get so bad that I'm forced to take my health seriously again. idk how to develop the discipline to get back on the proverbial horse after an absence
>strict regimine
reject strictness. embrace funmaxxing.
this is the way
I lift twice a week and run twice a week and yoga once a week and bike daily
because I enjoy these things
look into swimming and skip rope, calisthenics, biking, boxing, yoga and weightlifting out but skip the parts you don’t want to do.
Yesterday I was feeling good, today not so much. My big problem is loneliness, no friends no gf. I feel like I'm not a real person, the only thing I have going for me is an aesthetic body and a pretty face.
What do you do for work anon?
15 hours a week stocking groceries. Probably better than being a neet, the small social I do is basically it for the day. Dont really have much motivation to get a better job or improve my life beyond lifting
i feel intense dread and doom every single day for many years now
never felt so alone and scared and helpless in my life
What's the cause anon?
I haven't killed myself yet so I manage
I’m ok but I binged on pasta bake my wife made last night and then woke up in the middle of the night with terrible stomach pains and still feel shitty. Also my heart was racing. I think I need to do a water fast today.
My heart hurts. It's the same as always but my ability to ignore it and carry on gets just a little weaker every day.
Starting new job gotta get up at 6 cause 1 hour commute.
>take zopiclon to help sleep
>pass out at 945
>wake up and check time its 2 am
>not dven sure if i slept more until i got up at 540
Frick this shit
I'm literally not holding up at all. I'm literally a seething ball of cataclysmic lava, I'm literally 1 bad day away from ending up in a mess
>tfw that's probably what they want anyway
The only thing holding me together is "mom would be sad"
I dread to think what state I would be in if I didn't have my parents
>make progress. Everything is fine
>cut
>start bulking but no progress
>get fatter but barely stronger
>cut
>get fatter but barely stronger
I used to bench 60kg with 2 dumbbells, which was okay back then, but now im stuck at sub 50kg
i want to die and take the rest of every living being with me
>cut
rookie mistake
i have schizophrenia and instead of feeling bad for myself i feel bad for the people around me...my friends and family deserved better
the people in my ex-family were monsters (which is why I went NC as soon as I hit 20 years old). want to trade? you can make their lives hell if you want, and I'd like to at least have someone close in my life that I can call family
i'm going to try to taper my drinking down today, it's been a rough year and i've been off the rails for too long - i've averaged around 600-1000ML vodka per day for the past 2-3 months so i'm a bit reluctant to just quit cold turkey
i'm thinking of drinking 50ML 4x per day at scheduled intervals for the next week, it's still a lot at 200ML per day but it should be enough to kick the DTs and seizures
from next friday onwards i'll move it to 25ML 4x per day and see how i feel, trying not to have medical intervention since luminal makes me feel like death and benzos for WDs are too easy to get hooked on, i don't want to replace one addiction with another
there's a light a the end of the tunnel, or at least we have to tell ourselves that - i wish you all luck and happiness in the future
Great. I just got my dream job as a scientist and I’m making enough money to live in a house with my wife. I’m so aryan giga chad that everyone calls Dr.X. I program in 8 programming languages and do any type of mathematical modeling yet I work in a completely different science but occasionally use those skills. Life is awesome. I’m going to gym every night
Spent the last 3 years in a cult if sorts (not religious), now thinking about leaving but not sure what I'll do after. I came here because my previous life sucked.
I wish I could find something meaningful to do which didn't include sitting on the pc, but that seems unlikely.
that's pretty fascinating, can you share more?
inside the cult i'd imagine everything was planned out for you, the the cult is all-encompassing but now you're out the whole world is there for you to explore - it's big, scary, unfriendly, and intimidating sometimes but it's also beautiful if you don't let yourself get downtrodden
good luck cultbro
it was okay we just sucked each other's dicks and read a few books then rammed dildos down our throats 6 days a week while vomiting on each other
Essentially there was this big software project that the cultists worked on, but it wasn't successful enough and now I'm kinda done here.
I've lived a normal life before, but the 9to5 ain't for me, so I'm out of ideas on what next. I'm all out of ambition
sounds kinda similar to Heavens Gate, they had lots of programmers or tech enthusiasts if i remember correctly
you can email the remaining member(s) to see if there were more similarities
The cult was IST, we must stop him defecting
How to make friends/have sex? What does is friends like? I don’t know how it works. I’m a complete loser
can't complain tbh.
I have a job and I feel I have no fricking clue what I'm supposed to do, yet I get paid.
It's an 8 to 6 (yeah, frick that 9 to 5 weak bullshit) but still I manage to train fro around 2h after I get home
I got everything I wanted and I'm still miserable.
things don’t bring forth happiness nor an end to suffering
embrace part of life (one could argue a large part) is suffering. This is a good or bad thing depending on your view
People wouldn’t even believe how pathetic my life is if I described it. People would just ask how it’s possible to live like this when you’re older than 30, how could you waste and ruin all your best years like this, how could you never have any motivation for anything.
I honestly don’t even care anymore. I don’t have any goals, any motivation, no ambition for anything. I don’t care about having a family, having a career, having a house, fitness goals, hobbies, money, nothing. I have never woken up excited to start the day. I have never been happy in my entire life. When I read stories about people dying young or committing suicide, I am envious of their courage or jealous that they got to die.
do you have a friend?
do you have a role model?
Im trying to find and apartment so i can move out of my grandmas house but its hard to find a place in my price range that isnt full of criminal scum, thin walls, and ancient appliances. Starting to worry Ill be stuck here for another year.
Dunno. I have great education, better than 99% of people, and now I'm working on my body to get it back in the top shape but when it comes to career it's dead. I just wanted to live an honest live but the game is rigged. I'm not willing to take a job that will suck all the life out of me just to be able to survive. I just want a semi-decent job. It's been over half a year of unemployment and sometimes I'm thinking of ending my life to not be a burden to anyone.
Went to go to the gym this morning, found my back window busted out and my ignition all fricked up.. also they stole my pack of gum. I drive a Hyundai but it has an immobilizer, this is the 2nd attempted theft this year, I think I’m going to have to get rid of it just because the brand is too hot. Sitting around waiting on an estimator to call me so I can get it towed to a shop.
I’m supposed to go to a concert today for my bday, the person I was going with had to cancel and I have no one to give me a ride. Guess I’ll have to dump $200 on Ubers.
I just wanted to work out and enjoy my day off. Now I’ll have to cancel all my plans for the weekend. Happy birthday lol.
Do you think they were black?
Aren’t they always?
I talked to my gym crush of 2 years yesterday.
We had a nice convo. She put on a huge smile when I saw her today as I was walking out.
I’m gonna full send hit on her next time the opportunity is right. Frick it, I don’t care anymore. I deserve a woman of her caliber and I can’t settle for less.
Been hooking up with tinder/hinge girls and I realized only a fitgirl is going to satisfy my needs. Gotta hunt homie.
Third time in a row that I go alone to a concert today. My girlfriend has to work again, I have no other friends and even though I'm an extrovert, I am not THAT confident to talk to total strangers who most of the time arrive there in groups... Well, this will be fun....
I fricked bussy again
How was it?
it smelled like shit
entered 30 last week
havențt started a familly and it gets to me like nothing else, even if my career is good
I will adopt a kid in 2-3 years and be done with it
>adopting a kid as a single man
Good luck on that one lmao
I become a wizard in less than 2 weeks. Realistically how bad is it? I don't think I can ever be intimate at this point bros. I feel like even if I found a girl my lack of experience would ruin any chance of a relationship.
barely. haven't worked out in a long while. Probably won't till I gradute from college. Mood almost always bad nowadays.
sexcellent. absolutely sexcellent. keep up the good work bros.
I had two beers yesterday and feel disgusting. Also everything is getting expensive as fk.
Last weekend my dad and I went on a father-son trip and got to watch one of his best friends get inducted into the NFL hall of fame.
Pretty crazy that the guy that used to come over to our house ever week for a sunday evening barbecue is one of the 371 best pro football players of all time. My fricking peewee football coach. Such an awesome time.
Outside of that work is going well, my gf is happy and finally starting school again (she's a teacher) so she'll be out of the house while I'm wfh which is nice. Getting in really good shape too. It's all looking up right now
Terrible. I keep getting filtered by recruiters for even the most basic jobs. I'm broke and want something to give me purpose besides just lifting. I don't have much work experience, so I've mainly been applying for apprenticeship and entry level jobs. How do I get my shit together if recruiters won't allow me to wageslave entry-level jobs? I'm too old to get the lowest allowed minimum wage, but to inexperienced to hire at minimum wage.
*too
Pretty good, you?
>not enough muscle to justify a cut
>too much fat for a bulk
This sucks man, I feel like I’m just spinning wheels
I WANT TO FRICKING KILLLLL
Great. Finally a professional programmer after 3 years of effort. Lifts aren't bad either.
Life is good bros.
What projects did you do to get the position? What languages do you know? I'm interested in pursuing the career but I only know python and some c#
You probably are the closest thing j will ever have to friends.
I'm drunk at a local rural music festival
Really well. I’ve started organizing bare knuckle boxing matches with my friends. We’re all learning together, and it’s gotten some of my more out of shape buddies into running and lifting to box better.
>moved to another city to live closer with my gf
>brought my brother with me
>I was staying at her place for nearly 4 months
>my brother was with us the last month
>lost access to my weights since they were in his room/spare room
>my brother and I finally got a nice place to move
>now my relationship with my gf feels strained and she is sad I moved out
>I have been so stressed out the last 5 months I fricking gained 10lbs from eating and drinking too much
>set up my home gym in the basement earlier this week
>can finally skip and do burpess for cardio again
>actually counting and keeping track of my calories again
I am hopefull things will go good and I am on an upswing. But I just feel burnt out and like a failure. I got my brother to move with me since he doesn't really have anyone else and I worried about him living alone. In my attempts to find a decent middle ground for everyone I feel like I fricked up. And I saw myself in the mirror the other day and I hated what I saw so thats some good motivation to stay consistent with exercise and diet.
AHHH FRICK. I just want to live alone in a fricking small shed in the swiss alps with a dog and a couple chickens, sheep and cows. Why is this so much to fricking ask.
When I was around 1 year old, I had an ear infection. During that year, my family says I cried non-stop from the pain, so they gave me many doses of antibiotics, until finally a tube was placed into my ear which solved the problem.
...So far so good.
Around the age of 15, my life fell apart. Color began to fade from the world, I couldn't love people anymore, I couldn't enjoy anything, food tasted like cardboard, my stomach was constantly upset, I had severe chronic constipation, my hearing went to shit, my circadian rhythm was destroyed, etc. Everyone said it was because my parents had a messy divorce, "it would heal over time", they said. They put me on antidepressants, none of them worked.
Now, I'm 24, almost 25. I'm just now discovering the new volume of research on antibiotics, how they can destroy the stomach environment almost irreparably. How they increase risk for childhood obesity and ADD, both of which started in me after the antibiotics. I guess I should be angry, furious that they ruined my childhood with obesity and my adolescence with depression. But honestly, I'm just glad to know why it happened. And maybe I still have a chance to recover.
>It's everyone else's fault I'm a lardass!
Black person you have been an adult for seven years, it is your fault for not fixing it. NGMI
jacked off again 🙁
Starting to think my gf was raped when she was a kid, now feeling a little bit off from the relationship and I know Im a bad bad man from that
Havent gone to the gym 3 weeks in a row
Im just awful lads
I love piggybacks
damn bro you're huge you look like 225lbs+
How does ur gf even carry u like that
I was 220 in that pic, she is 5 5” 125 and barely lifts
how tf do u get to 220 boyo what do you eat
>pot belly
I dig it
>shitty fricking doodle
I do not dig it. Into the trash it goes.
So tired today, was gonna skip the gym and go to bed early after jacking off. So I went to /gif/, saw an mff threesome thread, and the first webmaster was some guy railing some tiny Asian bawd while a second Asian bawd was watching and talking about how hot it was. Then the guy pulls out of the first girl and finishes in the second girl's mouth. I then turned my computer off, put on my gym clothes, downed a protein shake, got in my truck, and now I'm busting out my bench press sets, already did my squats, then I'll finish with some barbellnrows, and maybe some core work if I'm not to tired after the rows. I'm tired of watching some other guy have Asian girls worship his wiener, I want to be the guy having Asian girls worship his wiener(and white girls, and Latin girls, and black girls if they have a nice face and aren't lard beasts). I don't know if I'll ever be that guy, but I know I don't want to be the guy that's ust watching anymore. I have to try.