How are you meant to make gains when you have one of these?

How are you meant to make gains when you have one of these?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lift weights?

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    must be nice having a family...

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      not really, it's more like this

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It is. Anyone who says it isn't is lying or is just a loser.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Biggest gains goblin on earth.
    Thankfully it becomes a loot goblin as it matures.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They really arnt. They sleep a ton and they can happily sit and play in a chair for a few minutes during your sets. I started lifting harder when I had kids because I had a reason. Granted I needed to get a home gym but it's a small sacrifice.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        this. ideally you begin making the home gym once you find out you're about to have a kid.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If you have healthy kids this is the case. I'm assuming people that have kids that are a nightmare are people who know nothing about nutrition and just had part of their son's penis chopped off so he's starving and in pain. Feed them beef and eggs ASAP once they're off the milk, but feed them milk as long as possible. Have them move and they'll be stronger and developing faster than their peers who are fed slop.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >turn your kid into a ketoschizo
          No thanks

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >talk about meat or eggs
            >reeeeeeee KETO!!!

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, everyone I see whining about difficult pregnancy or having a nightmare child is dysgenic and was already in poor health and clearly their kid already has a cascade of developmental issues going back to when it was a fetus.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            nah some kids are fine genetically but are still colicky babies. Hell sometimes the most successful people were difficult as infants/toddlers. There's certainly some truth to genetic disparities to that if you're looking at kids once they're out of early childhood but that's not the topic of the thread.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The biggest potential issue is loss of sleep. This depends heavily on the child and has very little to do with diet or any other meme shit you may hear from non-parents or a narcissistic parent of one 2yo who had no colic or sleeping issues.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I had twins both with colic and reflux and were premature. I lost loads of sleep but it's not a reasonable excuse to just give up. It's all about routine and planning. Working with your partner as a team

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Seconding this.
          One parent told me her son started sleeping through the whole night after only 2 weeks. Another parent said his still woke up multiple times a night after a year. Mine was somewhere in the middle, but every so often he just suddenly has a bad night (or several) and you just have to deal with it and wait it out. It's a roll of the dice and acting like the parents are 100% in control of that shit is fricking moronic.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A white baby? Lmao nobody has those

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Shalom!

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Home gym. Plus, when they, from a young age, see you working out, they internalize just how important exercise is. It teaches lifelong discipline.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      yeah this. my 3 year old sees me exercising and starts deadlifting toys

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    now thats a cute baby. i would kill myself if i had a baby and it was fricking ugly.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Are you ugly? Go find a white wife and feed her meat and eggs while pregnant for cute baby.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can always roon outside with the family and maybe do calisthenics shit if you happen to have a park nearby

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Don’t most parents nowadays just abandon their infants to strangers (daycare) and wonder why they want to cut their penises off 15 years later?

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Naked Warrior by Pavel Tsouillewhateverrussianlastname. It'll teach you about progressively overloading calisthenics. Get the work in whenever you have 10 minutes. Give up luxuries like going out to eat and instead focus on good groceries.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      His pullup routine is great

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sniff your bubbly nubile 22 year old au pair's sweaty hairy Belgian twat between sets
    And also get her to do enough of the time-consuming infant shitwork to keep your wife from turning into a touched-out, sleep-deprived zombie

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Lift them 3x12 like kettlebells
      As they grow, you’ll become stronger
      Soon you’re overhead pressing a 200lb neet who needs to move out of your damn house

      Schizo but there is some wisdom here

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >How are you meant to make gains when you have one of these?
        lift it every day as it gets bigger

        Based and actually-has-kids-pilled
        These little suckers only get heavier & demand you carry them at least once a day, you'll only get a break when they're old enough to be embarrassed to be lifted in public.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If I have just dumbbells at home will I have enough time to lift while staying home taking care of a newborn?

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How are you meant to make gains when you have one of these?
    lift it every day as it gets bigger

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I swing mine like a kettlebell and she laughs.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don’t. You should already have a solid physique well before you have kids and maintain with minimal exercise and sleep while they’re young then resume makings gains once they’re older.

    Even if you have time to workout, your cortisol is most likely gonna be peaked from lack of sleep and a stressed out wife that has no time for sex

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Skip legs

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There's basically 3 stages of headaches before elementary school

    1. Infant. This stage is very easy, just mind-numbing since your life revolves around the baby's schedule of eating, sleeping and shitting. You have plenty of actual time chunks, the main issues are sleep deprivation and cabin fever. Having a home gym is huge here.

    2. Toddler. Sleep deprivation only gets a little better, frequency of lost sleep goes down but intensity goes up (eg kid is fine for a month but then gets sick and screams all night long maybe vomiting all over the crib for good measure). Free time may go down also since toddlers require more attention and supervision (the more adults to help, the better).

    3. Preschooler. Life starts feeling normal again but kids at this age start being capable of throwing gigantic pain in the ass tantrums and driving your wife crazy. Some kids demand a lot more attention than others in general and by this point maybe you're having another one and get to start all over again.

    The biggest issue after all this is just getting your life back under control after 2-3+ years (per child) of disruptions and fricked up sleeping.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I dont get why sleep is an issue for you. You dont have to wake up and feed the child three times per night, that's the woman's job. I know some women get annoyed that their man is soundly getting a good night's sleep in the next room but that's just jealousy, a side effect from so called 'gender equality'. As long as you do your part (repairing and maintaining the house and car, making some money, keeping predators at bay) you're good, there is no need to have to add women tasks on top of yours short of occasionally helping out with changing the child and playing with it.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >You dont have to wake up and feed the child three times per night, that's the woman's job.
        Again this depends a lot on the child. If the baby just wakes up for feedings then goes back to sleep with no issues, that plan works great. If you have a colicky baby who makes a huge racket and won't go to sleep without bouncing or rocking or frick knows what other things parents have to do to deal with that, it can be a lot more difficult (assuming you aren't living in some hyper patriarchy where women live with the babies in a separate wing of the compound or some larp like that)

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You're giving me ideas anon

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            If you can pull it off, go for it. We have a separate bedroom that my wife has used on occasion to when I really needed sleep but she wasn't comfortable being there full time and it wasn't a battle I chose to push.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >living in some hyper patriarchy where women live with the babies in a separate wing of the compound or some larp like that)
          I sleep on the floor in what was the study.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I just put number 3 to bed, and now I’m lifting.
    Chapelle_as_prince_bitches.gif

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It’s easy for straight men to have kids.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Drink milk directly from your wife's breasts.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's disgusting tasting, huge disappointment

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >i will never be a father
    my dad had his 3rd child by my age and all i have is a 3 plate squat.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Had my first at age 37, for a man it's almost never too late.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    post your daily dad routines. i'll start.

    >two year old son wakes up between 7 and 8
    >get him changed and ready for the day
    >ensure we talk as much as possible while getting ready
    >take him out to the living room/kitchen/dining area and he starts playing with his toys
    >he's a huge music fan since we never allowed the tv to be blaring constantly
    >instead we play my softer playlists or he puts his music box with interactive songs on
    >cook breakfast almost always consisting of eggs over hard, bacon, and some type of fresh fruit
    >if he's not feeling eggs we make sure to get him some buttered toast
    >playtime until lunch around 11
    >lunch for him is heated up meal prepped ribeye, fresh fruit, and sometimes crackers
    >hang out until naptime at noon
    >homie sleeps until about 2
    >get him up and we head out to the backyard for playtime if it's nice enough while waiting for my wife to come home
    >always cap it off with a walk around the neighborhood
    >mom's usually home by 4 and they're two peas in a pod so he's all about her the rest of the night
    >i get to head to the office to unwind
    >playtime until 5
    >more steak or chicken breast, rice and butter or fried rice (his favorite), fresh fruit, and then he'll get a fruit snack if he remembers they exist
    >go to the gym between 530 and 6
    >hangs out with his mom until bedtime at 7
    >come home and eat a meal prepped dinner or cook
    >relax until late night cardio
    >shower and get to bed to go do it all again the next day
    homie is a fricking cool dude to be around

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You don't work?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        haven't since i went back to school a couple years ago. i'm starting med school in the fall so just enjoying being a dad right now.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >wake up at 6am
      >quick bodyweight circuit
      >2 year old wakes up 7:30-8:00
      >breakfast, breadsoaked eggs lightly fried, yoghurt and fruit
      >put him in playroom while I WFH next to it
      >talk with him as much as possible
      >Ms. Rachel is my guilty trick if he's being fussy otherwise baby sensory with light music in the background
      >lunchtime, go for a walk outside for sun and vit. D
      >usually passes out while out
      >work while he's asleep
      >afternoon tea is cherry tomatoes, cheese and bread
      >finish work, time to go to the park with the wife
      >two hours playing at the park
      >dinner is something mealprepped
      >shower, read books
      >lights out at 8:30 lay in bed with him until he's asleep
      >go to the gym or run
      >go to sleep

      he's going to be doing a day a week at playschool to get some social gains since he's not much of a talker but loves being around other kids, real smart with puzzles and legos.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Same as this but no ribeye kek. Lean mince with this budget

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >stuffing your son full of salt and grease
      Lay off the butter, and boil your meat instead of frying it in oil/butter/fat. More veggies are also in order.

      Other than that you seem to have your shit on lock, I'm mirin.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >wake up at 5:30 to prep coffee for my wife and to my morning workout, usually shower by 6:30
      >18 month old daughter wakes up between 7 and 8
      >Let her wake up for a bit, then bring her out into the living room for her morning sippy of milk
      >As she plays with toys, I make her breakfast - usually eggs and fruit, though on weekends I make her pancakes
      >set her breakfast on her table and pull up an episode of Bluey for her to watch while I help my wife get out of bed (wife is currently 7 months pregnant)
      >once wife is up and conscious with coffee in hand its off to work
      >get to work at around 8:30, work until 3:30 and get home around 4
      >take over the "evening shift" and spend the evening playing with daughter, reading to her and generally being active with her (she sleeps so much easier after a lot of playtime)
      >if the weather permits I take her for a nice jaunt to the park so she has more room to play (plus social gains for her)
      >dinner is usually around 5:30, she eats whatever we eat so the menu varies, though we always make sure she has veggies and fruit
      >after dinner we play some more to help wind her down, then around 6:30 we go to brush her teeth and change her into jammies
      >bedtime is at 7, I lay in her bed with her (she has a full-size floor bed) and gently cuddle her to sleep before getting up and leaving her room
      >rest of the evening is spent catching up on dishes and other minor chores, then I take an hour long walk around town around 9 or so to wind down
      >go to bed at 10, usually sleep through the night (though sometimes my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night and needs to be comforted back to sleep)
      I love being a dad.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Two year olds can eat ribeye?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I know you think you being a cool, modern dad by calling your toddler "homie" and "dude," but I just want to let you know you think and talk like a shithead.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Home gym

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Look at this onions baby. You can tell this kid will get NO pussy.

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have two.
    When they're under 1 year old, shit sucks because they wake up often in the night which means you don't get restorative sleep. Your T levels will collapse and muscle gains disappear.
    I countered this by doing tabata routines and p90x3 because that's wall I had time for.
    Wife was on maternity leave so I let her deal with most of the kid stuff. She resented me for that bit b***h you're the one getting paid to raise a kid so frick off.
    Once they get last 1.5 years old it gets way easier. I recommend TRT or steroids though because for some reason kids collapse T levels.

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    he will grow up to wageslave for 80 years

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    just wear the woolen hat to the gym you moron its not hard. i wear my farmer hat to the gym all the time...

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get a home gym and learn to multitask. Work things out with your spouse, too. My wife and I take turns watching the baby while the other runs. A lot of times she runs then we do a family walk for her cooldown and my warmup then I run. A lot of times I lift while I cook dinner. Do a set, chop some veggies. Do a set, turn on the oven/stove and get a pan. So on so forth. Yeah it takes longer to make dinner but it makes better use of the time.

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don’t. If you didn’t make it by the time your baby is born, it’s so over. Now you just maintain and resist the decline to the best of your ability. The babies gains is what’s important now

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >have one of these?
    Oh no no no...
    He fell for the have kids early meme. You shouldn't have kids until you're in your mid 30s.

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What the frick is the point at that point? I lift weights so I can get big and pretend like girls on the street are checking me out.

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you can't do a combined 2 hours of HIT in your home gym a week you are a moronic Black person

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    home workouts can be a great choice if you have the space. put the crib in the corner while you train

  31. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You don't, you've already gained the most precious thing in the world.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

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