How blunt do you let yourself become when trying to encourage your gf to lose weight?
I was a fat frick when we first met and she was a good weight. I ate whatever I wanted and didn't exercise, she counted calories religiously and exercised regularly. Then somehow, perhaps through a wizard's curse, our roles reversed. I now aggressively monitor everything that I eat and can set my watch to my workouts. On the other hand she doesn't exercise at all and snacks constantly. We're at the point now where we're the same damn weight, and I'm 5 inches taller than her.
I love her and I'm in it for the long haul but I'm increasingly less attracted to her and I've moved from gently encouraging her to get back to her old workout routine, to start using the calorie tracking app that I use (technically, started REUSING it because it was her who introduced it to me), to starting to refuse to get fast food with her because half the time it guilts her into not getting it either.
She constantly asks me "Do you think I'm fat?" and my old fallback was always "Hey, we both need to be a bit better about things" but it rings a little hollow now that she's three pounds away from being heavier than me.
>She constantly asks me "Do you think I'm fat?"
i am a little concerned about your health lately, what if we started going to the gym together?
something like that maybe, turns it into an opportunity to spend more time together and all that
You have to work to get mired by other women in your girlfriend's presence. She needs to feel like her position may not be as sustainable as she thinks, and that if she doesn't start taking care of herself she might lose you, even if you yourself have zero intention of actually cheating or leaving her.
I have seen it happen like clockwork: guy gets fit, guy gets mired, girl freaks out and usually initiates a serious conversation about her weight and fitness, and assuming the guy isn't a fricking architect the girl works to get healthier (this all assumes the girl was fit previously - girls who started fat usually just get b***hy and demand their partner get fat with them).
Anon is right. A little jealousy goes a long way. Don't obviously encourage other women to hit on you, but don't outright shit it down. It is a bit of a balancing act, you have to show your girl you have options but still love her and don't want her to go over the edge.
Imagine a woman starting a business where you pay her to hit on you in public in front of your girlfriend or wife to make her jealous and thus improve her behavior
You have switch the sexes and still have sustainable business model.
I once was walking through the park with my then gf, a dude crossed our paths and whistled at her and I told him to shut up and we kept walking, never in my life have I seen such a strong reaction on a woman they love being protected
sounds like a business from picrel
>The plan? Encourage the clients' weight loss by having them shadowed by more attractive actors throughout their day
how much andrew tate did you watch to come to this conclusion
op this would make her insecure and resent you for it, at least subconsciously
>If you get mired by women, even unintentionally, your girlfriend will come to hate you, so NEVER IMPROVE
how is that even remotely what i said
The advice was simple: get fit, and in doing so get mired by other women. It in no way suggested actively seeking out women for the purpose of making the girlfriend jealous, it treated women noticing and complimenting physique like a natural byproduct of getting fit. You, on the other hand, seem to think that this happening, no matter the circumstance, is inherently detrimental and if OP wants to keep his girlfriend he should avoid getting mired by women, meaning he should avoid getting fit to the point that women find him attractive.
>You have to work to get mired by other women in your girlfriend's presence.
>She needs to feel like her position may not be as sustainable as she thinks
>It in no way suggested actively seeking out women for the purpose of making the girlfriend jealous
yeah cuz getting mired by women requires no work right?
not him btw, you're just so bluepilled it hurts
You're legitimately moronic
>living in a low trust society where you girlfriend would be threatened by other women complimenting you
>living in a low trust society where partners have worry about "being replaced"
The West deserves everything coming to it
The real irony is that this is also the reason these discussions are so cagey and difficult in the first place, by the way. Remove the fear of loss and a man and a woman actually can have an honest and straightforward conversation about basically anything - her weight, his weight, and just about anything else they like or don't like and want each other to stop or start.
A shared promise that nobody's going to run away is the firm ground upon which a couple can actually stand. We suffer needlessly and struggle to communicate because we are fickle.
Look at this soi gay being scared of competition. The west wasn't built by people like you, that's for sure.
>Look at this soi gay being scared of competition. The west wasn't built by people like you, that's for sure.
Anon normal people don't think of competing with other men when they think about romantic partners. Please reconsider your life (and sexual orientation)
Thank feminism/jews but also a tiny bit of competition is normal. Just what we see today isnt.
A lil hypergamy is healthy
from my experience this does not work because women avoid miring me if i'm with my girlfriend, I only get mires when she's not around for the obvious reason that they don't want to piss her off. She is goth and looks kind of scary so maybe it's different if you're with some demure looking chick though.
You live in a fantasy world. The girl uses this guilt and insecurity to cheat and eat more, never taking responsibility.
>do you think I'm fat
Yes. You should lose some weight.
other common iteration
>"do you think I look fat..."
Look fat? You are fat. You should lose some weight.
There, problem solved.
Tell me how you're an autist incel without telling me you're an autist incel
Honestly centuries of coddling women have led us to this point. Be the change you want to see.
If you love her be blunt and honest. Her girl friends are enough for morale support. She doesn't need another one pampering her up.
>no i don't think you look fat, why, are you thinking about working out? you should join me
>She constantly asks me "Do you think I'm fat?"
She KNOWS she's put on weight and wants you to assuage her insecurities. Giving it to her gently will resolve her negative emotions, but won't solve the issue. If her weight bothers you and you want change you need to be honest with her, otherwise she will have no incentive to change. You can blunt the emotional impact by giving her the shit sandwich i.e. complement - hard truth - complement.
I had to have a similar conversation with my gf one Christmas. In summary it went
>I love you
>but you know that you've put on weight recently, and I have to be honest I've noticed it too
>I will support you in your goal to lose weight
>as much as I love these new huge breasts of yours, I want you to get back down to X weight
Now the precedent is set, I can easily have these conversations with her because she knows I'm giving her the truth every time. The first tough love conversation is hard but worth it
I knew a girl who went from cute chubby to cardio bunny.
Do you know what did it? She was dating a shitty guy that told her he wasn't attracted to her anymore because of her weight.
She was actually lighter than when they began dating when he said that.
She stayed a cardio bunny after that relationship ended.
This particular girl probably also had borderline personality disorder which comes with abandonment issues, so how useful this anecdote is generally I do not know.
Nothing in my personal experience suggests to me that being anything less than brutal will work on women.
If you're in it for the long haul, then you get honest with her. It'll be a good test if she's wife material or not. I would let her know she's getting a bit big, you're losing your physical attraction to her, and it's concerning. Either you two have a solid discussion about it, obviously after she relaxes from being upset, or she freaks out and acts like a typical psycho sloot. You win either way. She either understands and you get her I'm good shape or she flips and you avoid a shitty future.
>How blunt do you let yourself become when trying to encourage your gf to lose weight?
I think you should be honest with her and tell her how it is.
> love her and I'm in it for the long haul but I'm increasingly less attracted to her
Be an adult and straight up tell her the truth. And tell her that you value her good looks and sexiness and that its important to your relationship. Why pussyfoot around it? Why not just be open and honest about it?
I'm gonna preface everything by saying that i love my GF and simply dumping her for being fat was not an easy consideration for me.
I started dating her when she was losing weight, and in about 6 months later she had a body that was completely acceptable to me. However, a year later she had depression and started slacking and eventually dropped gym/dieting altogether.
In the following 4-5 years, she started gaining weight, reverting all her progress. I kept nagging her all those years, eventually with almost overt threats to dump her. Nothing worked. She agreed that it was not acceptable, and that she should maintain at least some standards. A few times she returned to the gym/diet, but it was never for too long, and I could tell she was not serious about that. The cycle of me nagging and her trying (not really) kept continuing. At the beginning of last year, she was at her worst weight ever.
Last year, I discovered that my perceived medical condition that prevented me from exercising was actually not that serious and I started going to the gym, gaining noticeable progress in my looks. Somehow, this worked. Nowadays, we go to the gym together and discuss everything fitness related. She is almost back at her thinnest form.
Mind you, I think trying to "fix" a woman is a fool's errand. I only stuck around because I truly loved her and almost accepted that she was going to be fat forever.
>Last year, I discovered that my perceived medical condition that prevented me from exercising was actually not that serious and I started going to the gym
your gf resented for you not getting in shape your self while expecting her to and that is why she did not do it while you was "sick"
I just straight up told my gf she had a great personality but she'd be a lot hotter if she lost some weight.
Her BMI's 17 now with just a hint of abs. Literally perfect feminine body type imo. I love her so much.
Only downside is that she mostly refuses to eat when we go out on dates. I probably look like I'm pulling some sort of dom/sub powergame whenever we go to a restaurant and I order a full three course meal while she sits there sipping at a glass of water, staring at my meal and occasionally letting me feed her a mouthful of food off my plate.
stop humblebragging "big man", we see right through it
cringe
Isn't 17 a bit low?
>Isn't 17 a bit low?
She looks perfect as far as I'm concerned. My preferences definitely lean skinnier than what's idealized in media these days but for me her thigh gap, faint hint of a six pack and pronounced collar bones couldn't be hotter.
Pretty sure I'm just straight up bragging m8.
Ah, OK. For me, the perfect female BMI is about 19.
>moron gives gf anorexia and brags about it
>abs.
>Literally perfect feminine body type
Cope and seethe
Wow
Yes.
A 17 BMI is auschwitz tier.
rape her and call her pussy fat
>it bothers me that you're not putting in the work to get back to a healthy weight, so I want you to start dieting and working out with me
>if we're going to be together long term I want to know that I'll be with someone who cares about their health as much as I do
ez pz
if she gets asshurt over it then that's her problem
Not quite so easy. I'm in a similar position as OP and whenever I bring it up my gf will point to some minor changes she's made and to say "SEE, I am working on it" and if I press her further she accuses me of not appreciating the work she's already putting in. but the minor changes she's making, while commendable, are nowhere near what is needed for her to actual become IST
I'm at a loss here bros. what do? she only needs to lose 20-25 pounds and she'll be perfect, but she just won't do it.
imo you just gotta come out and say it in an encouraging and supportive way. There's no fricking point in getting married if you have to play high school games to communicate with her. Tell her the truth and say you want her to get fit with you. Bro, imagine being with a woman you aren't attracted to for DECADES. You will get bitter and probably frick around on her because you have needs that she can't meet. You might say that's not you but just wait until you've been poking that whale for 10 years. What's next then? divorce? shame? Frick that
she loved u while u were fat and now that she gained weight she's gross and ugly to u lol. poor girl.
/thread
And you homosexuals wonder why you're single.
I can't help myself. Wife fishes for compliments and I tell her to stop eating so much. Told her to stop eating eggs last night. Of course, then she says she doesn't eat many. Meanwhile her supper was fried eggs with extra cheese and bacon bits on bread. I flipped out on her one night because she was literally hiding in her room eating a fricking donut. Then I "had" to apologize. Imagine caring so little about your weight that you'll eat deep-fried cake at night. I guess I'm the bad guy for being honest about it. She wants sex all the time, but puts in zero effort to take care of herself. Also quite selfish about it. Here's a bitter pill to swallow for you anons. The sexes aren't equal. If you were born a man, thank your lucky stars no matter how shitty your life is. You could have been born a woman.
Whats a good way to flip this and see a parallel from the girls perspective? Maybe a husband who was ambitious and goal driven but is turning into a loser playing video games all day. He hasnt gotten a raise or better job in years while all her friends husbands are now making twice what he does, and she realizes she went from having the man she could brag about to the one she has to make excuses for. Then she comes home and sees he called in sick on a friday to play runescape/somemmogarbage with his loser pals from high school. And she isnt a golddigger but no one wants to be with someone no one else wants
>Told her to stop eating eggs last night.
Why would you tell her do that?
This happens. As women get older it becomes especially harder for them to keep the weight off.
The same thing happens to men, but it's easier for us to lose weight as we get older than it is for them. They have psychological barriers as well when it comes to snacking and shit.
This is just the reality of being with a woman long term. That's why when you get married, the vows say "In sickness and in health". But as you said she's just a "gf". How long are you going to frick around with this poor woman before you commit to her? You're eating up her prime years, b***hing about her weight on a Yugoslavian Dildo Whittling forum.
Where do I find a wife like this?
On /soc/
not here, that's for sure.
That's too bad
/lgbt/. Would btw
Crazy how hot "she" is
Superior Japanese genetics.
name?
The Japanese have natural femboy genes.
best sex i ever had was a half japanese half korean twink who i made wear fishnet stockings and a bra while i fricked him as soon as we were done the first time he flipped over to doggy and wanted more
south park so small
God, I wish these kinds of things happened to me. Sounds amazing.
gett 16 or 17 inch biceps and cut to under 12% bf twinks trannies and femboys love that muscle daddy look i'm not even attractive and my grindr gets spammed everyday
There's an asian twink I call over to frick occasionally. I told him that he'd look cuter with long hair and he hasn't cut it since. I think I'm going to tell him he'd look hotter in women's underwear next and see what he'll do.
How did you find the twink? Grindr too?
Thanks! Getting there with the size but I definitely need to cut more.
>How did you find the twink? Grindr too?
House party. I made friends with some gym lesbians years ago, and they invite me to all these parties full of twinks and women. A lot of them are dtf pretty quick because I'm "safe" because their lesbian friends introduced us.
completely artificial
i feel sorry for guys of your generation who save and repost shit like this
its not a real person, its basically completely made out of shop and filters
>shop and filters
Why are you lying?
That's the prettiest troony I've ever seen
My sister said that me fat shaming her was a reason why she tried to kill herself. Now years later, we don't talk but she is sub 100lbs at 5'2.
Go hard on the b***h. If you aren't 100% invested into her future, don't bother bringing it up.
That doesn't sound like a good solution considering she seemingly cut contact with you. Not to mention the whole suicide thing...
You want what's best for her or what's best for you?
I'm not the OP but I'd be pretty devastated if the girl I loved started to hate me and tried to kill herself because of me
What's best for me obviously.
I want my gf to be fit to make my dick hard not for her health.
Did you know that two people in a relationship affect each other?
I was at a point in my relationship where my girlfriend was binge eating a lot and never got off the couch except to move to the bed or kitchen and vice versa, and the resentment built up a lot because I eat very healthy and work out frequently. We were drunk one night and she asked me if I thought she was fat and I let her have it. She was upset but also admitted that she hated being fat and hated herself for letting herself get fat and was now depressed and stuck in a loop. I offered to help her diet/workout but it became toxic and fricked up our relationship dynamic for a while.
What ended up working was being supportive, kind, and encouraging. She needed to have a positive relationship with food/exercise and doing it to stop being fat made eating healthy and exercising feel like punishment/atonement. By reframing healthy eating and exercise as a positive thing/fun thing/investment in herself, and completely downplaying the importance of her weight/appearance in favor of health, she was able to change her relationship with food and exercise and get back in shape.
At her worst, she was over 200lbs (5'8) and now she's back down to 140lbs and getting pretty toned. It's even gotten to a point where she's doing hip thrusts and squats cuz she knows I like fit butts, which is awesome.
In short, skip the shaming - try to get her to do "fun" and EASY exercise with you (at first) and act very happy and talk about how much you enjoyed doing it with her. Don't even mention the fitness aspect. The goal is for her to like it and not even consider it exercise (until regular exercise is comfortable). For us it was kicking a soccer ball back and forth in a park and light hiking. It eventually grew into us going to the gym together 4x a week.
Be nice to her and she'll want to get in shape for you. Shame her and she'll get fatter. You have to do it first even though she's fat and you resent her, which is the hardest part.
Inspiring, if a bit machiavellian.
I'm going to try it, anon, I'm through the resentment part myself so it's either this or break up.
My fiancee is 5'9" and weighs 145. I still tell her to lose some fricking weight. If she's asks if I think she's fat I tell her she's a landwhale.
Be blunt and be serious, having to have some bullshit like diabetes or heart disease is imperative.
/fit/, is my gf fat? She's 5'7" and 143 lbs. For context, she doesn't exercise at all while I am 6' 170 lbs 15% bf
Captcha: RPRATS
I'm moronic, she's 153 lbs, not 143.
Yes, she's fat
Shid, that's what I figured. I've talked about it with her in the past and she didn't take it the best. She knows she's been gaining weight, but doesn't really seem to be doing anything to stop it. For context, she was 145 lbs when we started dating and she's 22 and I'm 24
She's BMI 24. So not really fat but close.
I told my wife straight up that if she ever goes over 130lb (she’s 5’2”) that I will divorce her. She fluctuates between 120 and 128 at which point she gets panicky and stops eating completely. I regularly follow her to the scale.
Whip out the ol' healthy weight chart (delete the large-frame column first because those don't actually exist) and give her an official diagnosis and goal
This chart has a very low bar. My wife is 5'3" and at 120 pounds she has serious chub going on.
its just all in the wrong places. some girls get unlucky
it's easier to live with women who have eating disorders than those without them
this is actually a dude i have videos saved on mulitple devices of him taking a dildo up his butthole(i'm not gay cause i always imagine being the top)
I know. I'm in love with him.
i require proof
Somewhat related, I was just thinking all those 30+ year-old cat ladies could make a decent partner if they actually worked out and slimmed down.
Of course being in a relationship and telling them would probably push them to suicide.
Had this happen almost exactly like you. Was fat when I met her she was skinny and hot, then I lost a frick ton of weight and she started putting it on.
But mine was super sensitive about it so I started making her do more active stuff in bed even when it was clear it was making her tired. Slowly over time I started fricking her less. Kept asking her to work out she wouldn't, and we got more and more distant. Then I ended up fricking her sister and purposely got myself caught mid event.
She collasped on the floor crying while I kept going and finished in her sister. When she kept screaming why "because you stopped caring about my needs and kept eating and getting more and more unhealthy"
Flash forward to today shes mostly in shape and I have a kid with her sister and I take turns fricking both of them for some reason but mostly because she says "im too good for her and take what you need".
Mental health issues can be productive!
cool story bro
>How blunt do you let yourself become when trying to encourage your gf to lose weight?
It's not fair how a man with contacts and painted on freckles manages to look cuter than any girl I've ever seen before.
gay
Guys are better than girls at everything, including being a woman
It's sad when hot girls ruin themselves with tattoos and piercings
It's not cool, it makes you look like a bawd (because you are a bawd)
It is literally a man
Would frick his boipissy
>ayy yo b***h!
>you fat as frick!
>get fit or get left!
Mine just got addicted to amphetamines and is skinny as hell
So maybe buy amphetamine and encourage her to try it
>t.
The only viable option is to encourage her to join you as you get yourself healthier. Any judgement will cause her to lock up. The way to victory involves getting her into fitness as a way to spend time together.
Honest question, do you hold yourself to the same standard? One thing I have noticed with women is they do not care nearly as much about their guy always being fit throughout their relationship. It does not terrify them like it does to us that we would be stuck in a marriage with someone we do not wish to ever have sex with. But they get way more nervous about finances. I see so many guys reee about girls making their man's income a stipulation in a relationship, formerly myself included. But given that we MUST have it a certain way i.e. they really must remain fit or else the relationship is doomed basically, I've come to view the finances thing as their vain need in a relationship. Both of these are more or less in your control. You gain and lose weight through eating habits. You gain and lose money via working more or obtaining further education.
What am I seeing, an actual adult response on IST?