How do I build mental toughness in the sense that I can learn to take no shit from anyone? I get nervous at the slightest confrontation and I hate being a mental midget. I'm considering picking up boxing or muay thai but I don't think it's a "physical" problem so much because I'm already bigger than a lot of people. I just wanna be totally undisturbed by whatever someone may say to me
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Boxing or Muay Thai is a good idea. Had the same problem where i was shaken after every mild confrontation. After training for 2 years and competing twice in MT it's just gone. After you walk into the ring to beat the living shit out of some other guy getting yelled at or confronted over some matters no longer seem that important.
It should be added that combat sports is a sure way to finding a social circle with which you can practice being a normal human bean. It really helps a great deal on many fronts
No amount of combat sports can force you to stop giving a frick what anyone thinks.
Those are great ways to desensitize but youll never truly overcome your fears unless you fight them inside yourself. Remember, bravery is acting in spite of fear. You can either be brave or be fearless, but never both.
Go on omegle and talk shit to people for hours a day
Please expend on it I was always scared of Omegle for some reason
There is not much to it. It gives you a chance to talk shit and be confrontative to people in a safe environment. Its face to face so he gets practice doing it, but its not real life so he can't get punched or whatever. And if he fricks up he can just skip. A lot of people go on there just to annoy and shit talk people so its the perfect place to learn to talk shit and argue.
Ultimately you have to decide to toughen up; its not something the training will do on its own.
I weirdly became more skidding after becoming a marine. it took years for me to ‘grow up’ through personal struggles after being raised like a pussy
Cultivate a healthy sense of condescension. If you think everyone around you is a little worm than you won’t be phased by their little worm opinions.
Combat sports can help, but ultimately it is a mental game you have to work through. I had a similar issue that I only started getting rid of once I was meditating regularly, and learned to stop thinking.
Just like fitness, you need to work out. You have to place yourself in situations where you face confrontation. A public facing job like in retail or serving can get you started at the basics.
If you're a big guy, you can get a job as security or bouncer somewhere.
learn to be kind and love yourself
You should do some work on figuring out the when, where, how this started for you.
Then, work on ways to reinternalize what happened and sort of depersonify it.
"This happened to 12-year-old me"...this didn't happen to 20-year-old you.
Understand you aren't that person anymore & are able to react how you want to react in these situations.
>figure out how to react in those situations
Look for warning signs that you're about to "lose control" and step away. Evaluate what was happening & why/how you were feeling. It's good to learn what is taking you down that bad path so you can stop following it sooner.
This takes a lot of practice and you'll fail a whole bunch but it isn't failure if you learn something from it.
Eventually, things get easier. You reset your expectations and confrontations will be headed off earlier before it's a massive thing.
>I don't think it's a "physical" problem so much because I'm already bigger than a lot of people
Its 100% a physical problem. You have built a body that comes with an ego but your ego is unsubstantiated because there is nothing to back it up. If you are a man you know that physical violence is always a threat but you are untested in it.
Pick up a martial art, approach it with respect, understand practically that you are not made of glass and getting punched is not that bad and become confident in your self and your abilities. True confidence comes from having experienced things and understanding that most bad things are ghosts, ether that we fear in our heads. I am saying this because i was in your shoes until i confronted myself
I use Observe, Don't Absorb:
https://lyfas.com/relationships/how-observe-dont-absorb-technique-helps-you-deal-with-narcissists-and-toxic-people/rupam_lyfas/#:~:text=Observe%2C%20Don't%20Absorb%2C,brain%2C%20bypassing%20your%20emotional%20brain.
Lots of interpretations of the principle, but the idea is to observe and learn from someone acting like a shit, rather than getting sucked into it emotionally.
You need to read some stoicism or some shit.
Dont go down the “little penis taking no shit from anyone” road. Be a big dick, learn to not care about other peoples bullshit.
combat sports will help with what you're talking about. It will develop your instinct to recognize when someone is attacking you mentally so you can shut it down immediately.
1 set to failure. Stay in failure for 2 minutes trying to complete the last rep with all you got
sumo is so cool
>Learn to take no shit
Its too late. Single motherhood has made you permanently weak. The take no shit comes from your father early in life. Not even your grandpa can teach it.
meh, seems to get better as you age.
After doing MMA for a year whenever I'm confronted by people I just don't care, I know I could beat them. I have nothing to prove to idiots that want random meaningless fights. I'd just end up in prison ruining my life. Just learn to defend yourself when you absolutely have to, but never become a moron that fights any random idiot over a random insult.