How to make friends as a 30 yo loner. Lost 30kg. Now I am fit but still lonely. I don't get it.

How to make friends as a 30 yo loner.

Lost 30kg. Now I am fit but still lonely.

I don't get it. How to make friends when you're an adult.

I sit at the gym and even smile sometimes at others and they look at me like a "freak"

I am not ugly just socially awkward and maybe a bit boring. Damn, really don't know how to do it

  1. 2 months ago

    Post 30 is really difficult, even the most popular people's friends circle falls into a few close friends and family.
    If you want companionship go date, if not don't force making friends, just be friendly and go to social events near you (Dance classes, fitness classes etc..)

    • 2 months ago

      >just go date
      Next tell him to just buy a house and just get a job.

    • 2 months ago

      Friends are a waste of time imo. They’re good to have while young I guess. Get a dog, do everything with that dog. Go on vacations, hiking, etc. That’s what I plan to do. Meet a girl along the way. Boom problems solved

    • 2 months ago

      >If you want companionship go date, if not don't force making friends, just be friendly and go to social events near you (Dance classes, fitness classes etc..)

      Tried this, doesn't work. Literally every class is full of married women.

  2. 2 months ago

    Join a club, moron.

  3. 2 months ago

    >How to make friends as a 30 yo loner.
    Check out IST. Great place to make connections and lifetime friends and you can just be yourself.

  4. 2 months ago

    Only way my social group expanded in recent years is friends of friends, and coworkers with mutual interests.
    >I sit at the gym and even smile sometimes at others and they look at me like a "freak"
    to be fair anon, think of the reverse - you're at the gym and someone smiles at you, how would you react? People smile at others in passing all the time, mainly out of courtesy.
    >t. 32

  5. 2 months ago

    >smile sometimes at others and they look at me like a "freak"
    probably for a reason, retard
    >Now I am fit but still lonely.
    ah, another one motivated by the misconception that fit = social, at least you've lost the weight

    go to social gatherings where there are some expected commonalities between you and others, observe social dynamics and mimic since you're socially autistic

  6. 2 months ago

    talk to people, compliment them, give them advice, don´t just stare at them you retard

  7. 2 months ago

    Have a family you won't really care that much about muh friends.

    I have only three close friend who I can "confide" to. I find that's enough.

    I do enough socializing with wife, work collegues, other parents, etc...

    Time to grow up.

    • 2 months ago

      >grow up
      You became a predictable boring drone, limited by your wife and kids

  8. 2 months ago

    >maybe a bit boring
    Yeah you are. Just get an ugly girlfriend to practice becoming less boring and less sa.

  9. 2 months ago

    Don't make friends. People are shit.
    Isolate yourself. Stay chill.

  10. 2 months ago

    eh, it's hard. I'm 10 years older than yourself, people tend to restrict their social circles as they grow up and aren't so open to making new friends unless they're exceptionally outgoing. Even then, it won't be as sincere as a childhood/teenage friendship.

    Best you can do is keep what you already had (if any) and join a club or some shit. common goals tend to stick people together. do expect them to vanish once the club or whatever stops existing.

    Also, family will/should/would suck off your free time like you wouldn't believe. Having a child is probably the best excuse to being an antisocial fucker, I've seen it all my life "can't go out because of my kid". You'll do the same sometimes too. Hope this helps, thanks for watching this and don't forget to subscribe and hit the like button

  11. 2 months ago

    Loners choose to be alone.

  12. 2 months ago

    I had this problem for awhile but then I started showing up places regularly. Multiple gyms, work, school, meditation meetings, tinder, etc

    Also do interesting shit in your life so you have interesting shit to talk about. Go places solo for awhile just to keep exposing yourself to social people and social environments, even if you dont talk to anyone. Going out will be your new normal and when you meet new people youll have a lot of ideas for fun things to do with them and talk about.

    Expect to have a lot of awkward moments and rejection. It's part of the proccess but dont take shit so personal no one is really thinking about you everyone is thinking about themselves.

    Also smiling at people randomly while sitting around staring at them is weird please at least go talk to them. You will learn from each time
    And if you still smoke weed, stop cause it makes you antisocial.
    Fuck hookers in the meantime to keep ou calm

  13. 2 months ago

    Like all these anons already said. Go to anything where people gather doing something you're interested in and just keep showing up. Bonus if it forces "pairing up". Like martial arts, bjj, fucking magic the gathering. I used to go to a 5$ Texas holdem tournament at a bar near my house just to have an excuse to sit next to people and work on talking to them.

  14. 2 months ago

    Mutual interests like anons said

  15. 2 months ago

    This is what I’ve done, with good results.

    Go to a bar. Not a dance club or something where conversation is tough. Go to an actual bar. A pub. A place where old and young go to let their hair down and be comfortable enjoying a beer. Any place where there is a focus on sports or music is not it. You need to find a local.

    Go to your local. The bartender is your friend-for-hire. Be friendly, order good drinks, and tip well (but not too well). If the bartender thinks you’re a cool guy, he or she will introduce you to other regulars. Chances are you are far better than the worst people at the bar who misbehave in any number of ways. Present yourself as a respectful person who isnt a gay, and pretty soon you’ll have friends there. Maybe not invite-to-your-daughter’-baptism friends, but people who will be happy to see you when you walk in the room.

    And lastly, ask people about themselves. Listen. People are interesting. Let them be. And reward people who are nice to you with either good conversation or buying them a drink.

    Pub culture is a dying art. Participating in it is something its participants will appreciate.

    • 2 months ago

      >literally paying for friends
      Fucking grim.

      • 2 months ago

        >zero reading comprehension
        Fucking grim

  16. 2 months ago

    I'll be your friend, bro.

  17. 2 months ago

    Ok, I will tell you the secret. But keep it to yourself. You need to make hobbies of activities that women use to find boyfriends. You will figure it out. Think about it.

  18. 2 months ago

    I can tell you I started late at 22 in late 2020 and it's been hard and I still feel like I've not gotten far. Went from being a shut-in with literally no friends KHHV in 2020 to having "friends", a girlfriend, and feeling pretty comfortable navigating dating (lest things change in future).

    I joined an outdoors club and got into rock climbing, hiking and various other outdoor activities. Now I'm pretty regular at the gym. I don't really feel like I've made any "close" friends that I can really lean on or who I feel like would lean on me. Basically just know a lot of people I'll have a yak with and might organize trips with. I was pretty awkward and clueless particularly around girls up till about midway through this year I think before things fell into place. Feel like that's hurt my rep in this group as I get the impression some awkward advances I made in the past were talked about and I've felt acquaintances kinda give me the swerve, likely due to gossip about that kinda thing.

    I'll mostly be moving on from this city and group though next year and joining the military in my country, I think I'll be set up well as I think either my past actions or simply how I feel about them (maybe no one actually really knows or cares). Kinda make me feel more awkward in this group now than I do elsewhere.

    It's inevitable and you basically just have to fuck up to learn. This is particularly painful if you're doing it outside the usual age range we're supposed to learn these kind of things as people notice and you are programmed to basically feel physical pain when you feel like you fucked up socially. God help you and I wish you luck tackling this at 30 man.

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