I bring a big box of donuts into work every morning. This has two advantages
1. It makes everyone think I'm a nice guy
2. It keeps everyone fat so I have the best body at work
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You should elevate your fellow man, not hurt him and push him down.
You're not a good person.
It’s not like he’s forcing them to eat the donut
frick off. he is testing them. trying to weed out the weak minded.
they eat the donuts because they're weak minded.
I eat the donuts because i'm on my yummy dirty bulking arc.
We're NOT the same.
>You're not a good person.
I agree. But people think I am, and thats what counts. Im winning and your a loser posting on IST
>*you're
based also you might be a narcissist anon. May as well double down and listen to the "laws of power" audiobook. Its basically a guide to social manipulation
Most homies who take their job seriously and see everything as a power play is probably a cluster b homosexual
We already covered this over 2000 years ago. It is better to be good and believed to be evil than to be evil and believed to be good. You need to reread Plato's republic clearly, or you could just stop making things up online for (you)s.
> Be fit
> Coworkers make fun of me for being fit
> They bully me because I refuse to eat their junk food
> They're fat as frick
Reminds me of a story
>Used to work fracking in the oilfield
>In safety training, they tell you to wear a respirator around the sand or you will inhale silica dust and eventually get silicosis
>Wear my respirator every time I am around the sand like I was told
>Other workers didn't
>Other workers make fun of me for it every time
>They called me mask boy (this was years before covid-19)
>Ffwd a few years
>They all have silicosis
>I don't
Fricking idiots. I'm going to be very happy when my coworkers get diabetes.
Frick other people
Seethe fatty
>You should elevate your fellow man, not hurt him and push him down
>t gymcel that has 0 friends IRL
>a donut is all it takes to ruin him
You're a weak b***h.
Elevate these nuts homie
I'll take a donut, please.
I used to do this too
Bros I haven’t really drank heavily beyond like 2 beers on a Saturday night for years. I got drunk as frick last night and smoked 2 cigarettes. I think I had like 7 drinks.
Need to fix hangover. Taking vitamins, water, and caffeine. Going to do distance ride on bike. Any ideas?
How about sleep?
Slept 7 hours, which is almost average for me, I can’t sleep after the sun is out.
I was out pretty late, like 2, which is a lot later than I’ve done in like a decade.
Going to a bar as a grown man sucks, but I got a bunch of mid 20s girls buying me drinks because I look like a 25 year old chad. You can tell the chicks will all be fat before 30 though and don’t take care of themselves.
I came home and chased deer for an hour or so before going to bed. I just felt so angry and frustrated all week that I went full wolf man.
I’m drinking a half gallon of water and eating electrolyte powder as we speak. Doesn’t sound like there is much else to be done.
I'm in exactly the same position except in incredibly rich and I don't get hang overs and my peenor is 2 inches longer and thicker than whatever you say urs is
You shouldn’t be jealous, those girls were office roasties and nurses with soon to be flabby arms and there is no fixing an alcoholic ho like that.
They’re gonna get all fat and sloppy drinking and eating bar food in their 20s and continue living like that into their 30s.
I’m married (out of town working) so I didn’t frick, but I wouldn’t have even if I wasn’t. You’re better off getting a mail order bride than getting serious with a woman like that.
I was serious
You have a 3 inch dick?
and 2.5inches thick
Electrolytes, preferably before sleeping drunk but day after is fine too
It's dehydration and you should have drank water before bed. Get some frickin Gatorade
Caffeine is actually a bad idea as it will further dehydrate you
Too late unfortunately. But I will remember that if I ever get drunk again, hopefully I won’t. I may quit drinking all together after seeing the people in the bar and realizing I haven’t been missing anything.
actually none of the answers are satisfactory. The real issue here is fixing the underlying cause - your gut biome had been gutted. All these microbes are actually you - churning out serotonin and serotonin precursors and other hormones and their precursors, pushing this info to your brain. Suddenly, after ingesting alcohol, big part of your brain (which resides in the gut for some reason) is being flushed out. Your brain loses its balance, lots of signals that was coming from your gut is suddenly not there, or completely different. Thats one of the reasons why you have hangover. The fix? For me its kefir, for I am a slav. You can pick anything that gives you your flora back.
I just drank an energy drink and drank a lot of water then road my mountain bike 40 miles this morning. Probably wasn’t a good idea and got muscle spasms until I pounded a (white) powerade and ate a bucket of fried chicken.
I then went home, lifted a little, and took a giant shit.
Just kinda feel tired tonight.
This is great. Over the past few years I've started having bad gut issues and started brewing my own water kefir. It changed my life. I now have glorious, massive shits that feel small until I get up and inspect it (Parasite Pill). Now, everytime I shit I feel incredible for a good few hours after.
>It keeps everyone fat so I have the best body at work
one donuts shouldn't keep anyone fat if they work out and have a good diet
Eh, a donut is 300- 400 kcals a day all carbs and won't fill you up at all. One or two times a week won't do much but every weekday that would absolutely start to hit you, especially if you're eating other stuff for breakfast. For women in particular a 400 kcal would be devastating and you know they won't just have one
>all carbs
a donut is fried in fat, it's like 50% fat homie
100 grams of doughnuts (and we're talking about generic ass plain shit, not the ones filled to the brim with creams and chocolate like in OP's picture) is:
>51 grams of carbs
>25 grams of fat
>4.9 grams of protein
Lmao you just helped him, check the math. That's almost a one-to-one carbs/prot to fat calories.
>Believes in CICO; thinks insulin and metabolism don't exist
Kekkk
It depends on what is being measured: weight, calories, volume. Only in 1/3 you'd be right.
Yea because one donut is totally the only goyfeed they’re eating
>Brings great bulking food
>Everyone has faster gains and stronger as a result while you stay Skellington mode
You will never make it
Oh, you're cutting?
Frick you fricking homosexual, there’s a piece of shit who does this at my work place and lays it out in front of the shred computer space. He’s inadvertently caused a goyslop arms race in which everyone brings in something as sugary every morning now to “one up” the other for office cred.
your coworkers seem pretty based, maybe stop maulding and try to be a normal person for once?
No one is putting a gun to their head and making them eat it hehehe
I've been in an office where fatties do this shit, and they are visibly offended when you don't want any of what they brought. I think ignoring that pressure is disingenuous on your part.
>they are visibly offended when you don't want any of what they brought
I actually would be tempted to eat the donuts they bring in if they didn't do that. It is just so much more satisfying to politely say no thank you and sip water while watching them seethe. It's not worth reading but just look how many words this one wrote because somebody asked for a small slice of cake.
I hate fat co-workers. I had one do the "I have big bones" thing, several decades after everyone realized it wasn't fricking true.
as someone with an eating disorder, frick this fatty in particular
She's one of the worse ones. I hope you can recover from your eating disorder. Sending love. It does get better.
thanks anon, she so deluded that she can't understand portion control and how a fricking huge serving of cake is not only forcing her fricking habit into someone, but also a source of shame because you can't finish the fricking slice, i told you , i fricking asked you for a smaller slice, my stomach hurt and i feel dizzy from all this sugar and now i ruined a half eaten piece of cake because the serving is too big and this cake will go on the garbage and i feel like shit for wasting food and eating so much calories and will starve myself because of it
thanks for reading my blog, recovery is hard but i'm gonna make it, i have to
this has to be satirical
believe me, it's not
'Cut your own fricking slice then, Carbosaurus.' JFC in KFC.
If your fear of offending someone is greater than your your desire to stick to your goals you are pathetic.
Never mind the fact that your mere existence should be offending fatties already.
What you should be really doing is giving them a genuime smile, a long pause, then addressing them as a parent would to his child: “aw that’s cute, but you know I don’t eat that stuff.” Maximum seethe.
>b-but i run the risk of making someone slightly mad(he will completely forget about it in the next minute) if I don’t eat his food!
What a fricking homosexual you are, whenever my coworkers offer me something to eat, the thought of making them mad by saying doesn’t even cross my mind
hop on tren and eat all of it and become so massive everyone is afraid to stop bringing donuts out of fear you might rip them in half so now they are essentially bringing offerings to the office gains god and are afraid to even eat any themselves and when the ceo quits obviously all of upper management promotes you immediately and now they deliver the donuts directly to your corner office and anyone who forgets their offering will have a surprise performance review wherein you tell them their gains have been down this quarter
>goyslop arms race
Lel
Sounds cool. I like to look at it even if I don't choose to eat it.
>D E V I L I S H
>eating a donut ruins your physique
jfl at you
Assuming 5 dollars per box of donuts and 25 working days per month, why on earth should I spend 125 dollars a month on such a moronic endeavor?
It's an investment, being the fittest means most productive worker which leads to more pay rises
absolutely devilish
That's no investment, because all you're doing is lowering the productivity of everyone else so you look better in comparison. It all goes out the window once they hire someone who is actually productive rather than just "looks" productive compared to literal lazy fatties.
Also, putting a drain on the company's productivity of all its fat staff only harms the company. They can't give you pay raises if there's no money to give you, Einstein.
You're thinking like a communist but it's a mog or be mogged world anon.
When you are in a community, you gotta be the best man or you should be out.
You're thinking like a moron.
If you really believed what you're saying, you'd want to be the best and most productive without any regard to what your co-workers are like. Instead, you actively try to make them worse just so you look better. It sounds like you think this is capitalism, but it's moronation. Capitalism is making the better product and winning that way, not destroying the assembly line of your competitor so you can continue to make a sub-par product.
>you'd want to be the best and most productive
Im not the OP but I understand and concur with him. In fact, I use the same strategy with my male co workers.
And about being the best, it's not only about the productivity. It's about everything. Your image, your connections, your social value ... And being the fittest in your office pays really nice in the long run.
I used to half ass everything, like I got my work done and volunteered for weekend shifts, but if I wasn’t being watched (which I never was, those guys trusted me) I would take 3 hour lunches and frick off to train bjj and stuff. I was clocking like 70 hours a week, but really actually worked about 20.
I would basically just use weekend overtime as a hang out spot and work out time.
And the management loved me, they thought I was amazing.
I used to be naive like you and just wanted to make the boss more money so they’d pay me more, they won’t pay you more. You literally have to go to another company to get paid more. Some people (see most in positions of authority) get to have a high paying job because they simply know the right people or sucked a few dicks.
It’s a doggy dog world anon, you gotta be the cutest poodle in the kennel or you aren’t getting adopted, and sometimes you gotta run away to find a better home.
None of what you just said matters or is even relevant to what we're discussing. I've had 4 different jobs in he past 3 years, and I make literally 40% more than I did a year ago. Preaching to the choir and about shit that is irrelevant.
>It all goes out the window once they hire someone who is actually productive
I'll just make them get fat too
>coworkers and customers always bringing in sweets & treats
>Thank you, but I'm allergic to milk
>eat 3 lbs of meat daily while sysadminning at my sit stand desk
my children will appreciate my sacrifice
imagine spending money everyday to influence what people think about you
>CREEPY ASS MOTHERFRICKER
>It makes everyone think I'm a nice guy
you just gave all the girls in your office the ick
Did you read the 48 laws of power?
how much those things cost in the us ? a good croissant is like 1.5 euros here, so around 1.6 dollarinos, how expensive are donuts ?
i checked some random donut place on maps - 1 box of 12 is about 12$.
But I also checked walmart, you can get 12 for about 6$.
Maybe even cheaper if buying bigger packs I assume
jesus christ, i bet bananas and apples are more expensive per pound, it's really cheap to get fat in this country
>1 box of 12 is about 12$.
What kind of 3rd world shithole do you live in where the donuts like in OP's image are $1 each?
If third world countries have donuts like that for a dollar it might be time to move.
I wfh. I could care less about my boomer coworkers
I do this too and I’ll also gaslight them with npc narratives and peer pressure them to accept the “current thing”
>gaslight them with NPC narratives
Examples?
I normally eat your picrel for breakfast, with a 1.5litre bottle of Lucozade. Pleasure is what life should be about.
Little do you know...You're fueling someone else's bulk and he's going to lift your twink body over his head and rip you in half like tissue paper.
>2. It keeps everyone fat so I have the best body at work
corrupting other is the gravest of sins
dress in modesty and speak no lies
Shut up christcuck.
One donut doesn't make you fat. Actually, only fat think this is how obesity works so post body I bet you're fat as frick.
>One donut doesn't make you fat
but 5 donuts a week will
no, 5 a day wont either newbie
>pleasure is what life should be about
This is why everything sucks these days
>2. It keeps everyone fat so I have the best body at work
israelite mindset
Man I love homemade doughnuts
every single morning? good lord thats insane
>Every morning
Assuming your office is like 10-15 people that's like $250 a week just on donuts. $2,000 a month or 20 fricking grand a year on donuts for the office. Unless you are a 3rd world pajeet getting donuts for like $1 each, no.. you don't do this
fricking kek
did you get this idea from watching Dexter? He pulled the exact same shit, probably for the same reason
>pic
Goodness gracious does that look good.
>Pleasure is what life should be about
>2. It keeps everyone fat so I have the best body at work
This is what I respect about transgenders and fatties. More ladies for me.
I remember office donuts
Believe it or not, I used to work in an office, on a computer, using autocad,
in fricking AMERICA . Now I'm rotting away with no future in a balkan dumpster fire
Deported or something
Agreed. Meaningless behavior. Go do something with your life
>2. It keeps everyone fat so I have the best body at work
This is female behaviour.
Stop being a homosexual.
I would think you are Dexter and aare murdering people in your free time
>1. It makes everyone think I'm a nice guy
Heh but really you're a twisted fricking psychopath
I'd suck the red jelly out of the donut and give you a knowing wink
3. makes your wallet lighter for no good reason
are you actually my mom?
I eat whatever the frick I like in moderation and look great. This "gotta eat clean" bullshit is just advertising
1 donut a week won't hurt any gains, right?
those "donuts" are more candy than anything, a good old fasioned sour cream donut with a light glaze is sweet enough
anyone that eats those is a child.
>That box of donuts
I'd much rather prefer a simple box of classic style donuts. Yours look too decadent.
You think you're fancy, with your fancy donuts? Fucj you and your fancy donuts I spit on all of them
How does this work when you work from home?
feed your wife ice cream sandwiches with frozen toaster strudels for the cookie. make her huge boobs and fat ass possibly
>wife
sorry i'm not gay
Yes this. My wife is healthy and fit as hell, but I have to make sure the D cups stay stuffed.
*Not even kidding.