I can't take a shit.
Since yesterday a really gigantic, very solid log of shit tries to come out my ass but can't. It hurts like a b***h and no matter how much pain I can endure it just won't come out. My butthole is actually bleeding from the pressure.
I recently drunk a lot of protein shakes because of my mouth infection I couldn't eat solid food. Could this be the coulprit?
How the frick do I solve this without going to the doctor/hospital? I just want this particular log of shit to come out, is there a way to turn it into diarrhea?
Please help
just shit with your butthole homosexual
what are you some kind of moron? you're getting bested by your own anus?
this is a shameful post, delete it
>getting bested by your own anus
what is buy stool softener pills and/or bulk laxative powder from pharmacy
I didn't know stool softener pills existed thanks I will try that
i hope the poop gets so backed up that it starts leaking out of your ears, nose, and pores
stick finger in butt hole n break it up
Unironically do this OP. I had a stuck shit from too much protein bars while cutting and I had to go hands on. I was able to push about an inch out and then it would suck back in. After like 30 minutes of fighting it, and the shit popping in and out like a whack-a-mole game, my butthole was hurting and I started to get scared. Eventually I took control of the situation by grabbing the tip and pulling it out while pushing like I was under a 5 plate squat and screaming the Lord's prayer. Once I got the bulk of it out my butthole drained like an unclogged sink and I felt euphoric. butthole was sore for a week.
There’s a way to do this using your finger like a hook
Look it up no lie
actually break up m hard protein log by shoving finger in and mashing it up inside ur ass and let it come out in small pieces like unplugging drain
Raving lunatics.
Just eat some fricking fiber you absolutely disgusting morons.
Yeah, that doesn't even help with the current situation. You gotta put on a plastic glove and finger bang that butthole to grab chucks of shit.
If I ever feel bad about most of my shits being soft I can just remember that there are people who od'd on artificial protein products and had to finger frick their sore, inflamed shit sucking butthole until rock hard turds excruciatingly tumbled out lol
>I recently drunk a lot of protein shakes because of my mouth infection I couldn't eat solid food. Could this be the coulprit?
It sure is the culprit. I OD on protein shakes when I had a wisdom tooth out. I was on the toilet for over two hours screaming in agony when this thing was wanting to come out.
It was so huge, it came a cm at a time, but the pain was so unbearable I had to shove it back up my ass. 5 mins later, out it came again, this time a little further. Again, the pain was awful, so I had yo shove it back up my ass again.
This went on for 2 hours. I had the 000 read to call on my phone because I thought I was going to die.
It eventually came out. It was massive. I guess this is what childbirth is like.
OP here again, made it, holy shit those worked fast.
Just like my turd was so massive it spilled water from the toilet bowl outside when it hit, I looked down and could not figure out how is it possible it came out of my small butthole. It hurt like a b***h but the satisfaction was unmatchable to anything else.
After I was done I got a huge dopamine boost like I just finished the marathon or something.
Anyway thanks for being with me for this adventure, after I stop shitting from the laxatives I will be a reborn, happy man
>I looked down and could not figure out how is it possible it came out of my small butthole. It hurt like a b***h but the satisfaction was unmatchable to anything else.
Here’s something that’ll definitely help. Take the sheath off an umbrella and cut back the spokes to about 5cm. Then insert the backend of the umbrella into the colon. Pull so that the spokes will open and anchor themselves into the log. Pull out. Keep on repeating this process until the bowel is empty
Why do you just have this picture lying around and why did you post it to IST of all places?
Interesting read
by restore a lax bruh ez
what the actual frick is this entire thread
It's very educational
>the eternal ketolard
Drink a large cup of coffee in the morning.
There used to be a funny >greentext about this with a guy using a fork.
Sorry I’m oldgay.
I have a large internal hemmeroid I think.
My arse itches and no matter how often I wipe and claw at it it is always shitty.
Can this be fixed?
Bidet shower is 100% clean 0% irritation
I need to do something. I spend 10 minutes wiping it then if I go for a walk it's all shitty again.
Weird. I often wonder if I stink in the gym.
What a shit thread
OP here, got some laxatives, apparently they shoud work in 8 hours, we will see
Use this bad boy.
Which end?
The screwy one, obviously.
Well, it wasnt obvious to me
Just pull it out like a cork.
Daily porridge cooked on the hob with a scoop of creatine, a teaspoon of psyllium husk and the honey and chia seeds on top.
I take bowl filling shits and basically don't have to use wetwipes anymore because they're so crisp and clean. There's a great deal of pleasure to be had from taking daily bowel emptying dumps and then walking away scott free after a single stripe wipe with regular toilet paper. Feel very light on my feet these days.
I do shits All the time with no wipe required
The key is to relax and not clench. Let gravity do the work
You have a fecal impaction anon. You need to break it up with your finger.
>How the frick do I solve this
>is there a way to turn it into diarrhea?
go buy a magnesium citrate laxative drink
Y'all need Jesus and more dietary fiber
Fill up an empty water bottle and shoot the water into your colon. It’s like an improvised enema.
Miralax and lots of water.
Have a dose with a glass of water every 30 minutes for like 2 hours.
Use your finger to pull out what you can.
Press on your taint to help make the turd smaller coming out.
Put your feet/knees up, squatty potty-style.
Add some fiber to your diet...they make stuff you can put into liquid.
Holy mother of God
8/10 of my farts have zero odor
But once I convinced my ex gf to cross over the fart barrier with me. And she let one old ..... My Jesus who are in heaven
Imagine a dead animal rotting under the summer sum after a dump week with no wind and you are hugging the dead corpse
Uuurrggghhhh
Uurrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
did you get a boner?
Eat half a butter and stick some of the rest up your ass.
drink 7 cups of coffee, in a row.
Take two fingers and press into the skin just under your butthole and keep pressure there then try to push the poo out like you would normally do. Sometimes that works like a charm and if it doesn't come right out, you can still try to move the poop into a better position without having to touch it. Leaning from side to side and straining helps too while you're pushing on the skin.
Take a warm bath before shitting, rock back and forth while pressing/messaging you belly.
I'd do that for my lizard when he'd get constipated and it always worked